Therapy, sister dynamics, and Swiss intern Giacomo

Y'all gotta, like, you know, encourage me the whole way along. And this is the way, the way, the way, the way. We rock the house. You like them big hairy balls, don't you? Baby. I know you're gonna dig this. Don't touch that guy. Hey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's poppin', y'all? Well, Kamichiwa and all that shit. You know what I'm saying? It's Thursday night, 9 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. It's about midnight to you East Coast motherfuckers. We're here live every Thursday night in gorgeous, beautiful, shitty, gritty downtown Los Angeles. Skidrowstudios.com. If you're listening live and just want to get this shit out the way, you can give us a call at 1-800-893-9562. We do have an 800. You know, an 800. We have an 800. Holla, holla line. You know what I'm saying? And, you know, that's it, man. We're gonna have a good time tonight. Thanks for tuning in and, you know, booyah. What's up, Sal? What's up? It looks weird. You, I'm expecting to see headphones, giant headphones like the ones that I'm wearing. Right. But you're, you're wearing little earbuds. It looks strange. Yeah. It looks like you're not, you're not officially on radio, man. Oh, well, I like to use my own earbuds, man. Only because, like, a lot of people have, they use the studio. They, you know, they, different people have sweat and all that. A lot of this stuff. I'm a little bit, like, I'm not a germaphobe. I wouldn't say I'm a germaphobe, but I just put it this way. Let me give you an example. When I fly, just to, just to give you an example, you can call me a germaphobe, but when I fly, I have handy wipes. First of all, I never fly with a, with a short-sleeved shirt. I used to, or shorts. Always with fucking long pants, even in the summertime. And I started doing this a few years ago. What, you think you're gonna get a staph infection or? Dude, I don't want to touch anything that other people have touched. It is fucking. People are disgusting. But if you're not exposed to germs, you can't stay healthy. You need to be exposed to germs to increase your white blood cells. Let me explain something to you. I'm 50. I've been exposed to all the fucking germs I need to be exposed to. Okay? I just, people are gross, dude. I have handy wipes that you buy. Wet, wet ones. Yeah. And I wipe every fucking thing down. The armrest, the button that you recline with, the button that you turn the volume up and down, the channel, the fucking brightness button, the TV. Shit. Anything on my touch. I wipe that shit down. The fucking air vent up and up above me. I wipe it all down, dude. If you sit next to me and I'm on the plane, you're going to think to yourself, what the fuck's up with this guy? What are you wiping with? Alcohol wipes or baby wipes? Baby wipes. Baby wipes. Handy wipes. Wet ones. Actually, you know what, though? If you're going to be wiping, if you're going to take the time to purchase wipes and use wipes, you should be using some antiseptic wipes. Those baby wipes, those don't kill no germs. Those are for baby's asses. Well, they kill germs. They. No, they don't. They wipe your ass. You don't have, you don't put antiseptic on a baby's ass. They're just for cleaning. It's not for deodorizing. It's maybe for deodorizing, but it's not, it's not disinfectant. Okay. Maybe you have a point. I haven't, I haven't really researched it. I guess I could bring my own cotton pads with alcohol, you know, pre, pre wet alcohol pads. Yeah, you got to get them at Rite Aid or CVS. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that. But anyway, the point is, to answer your question. I never really knew. I never really knew this about you, that you were a big germaphobe. You're kind of a germaphobe. I know you're a clean freak. You're a neat freak. If you ever go to Nestor's house, I mean, every little drop, he would not let a drop of water exist on the bathroom sink without him coming and wiping the water off. So. Well, I have this like, last week you talked about my $800 fucking plant. So I have a pretty, pretty fancy sink in the guest bathroom. You do. And, and so it's a porcelain. The faucet comes out of the mirror. Right. It's like an optical illusion. Well, it's a, it's, it's a porcelain like. You know, wash bin. It's like something from ancient Rome. But, but. It costs a thousand bucks, I bet at least. Who the fuck knows? I doubt it. I think it's a hell of a lot more than that. Really? Yeah. Well, let me preface this. I didn't buy, I didn't put any of this stuff in there. This shit was in there when I bought the house. I'm just telling you. Yeah, it's a very stylish man living. The point, the point is that the, that the porcelain fucking sink sits on a prefabricated finished. Yes. Cabinet. Wood. Wooden cabinets. And you don't want wood to get wet. Right. So I wipe it down. You don't want wood to get wet. So you put it underneath the sink. That makes total sense. Exactly. Dude, I didn't design this shit. You know, the house, whoever designed the house, designed, designed the house as if it was going to be in some sort of fucking design and living magazine. Yeah. It's very neat. It's very, it has these clean lines, they would say. It looks like something sort of out of Zen, out of a Zen magazine. You could probably put little Buddhas. You probably have a little Buddha somewhere. No, I don't. You don't have a Buddha nowhere? No, I have a Buddha in my heart. Oh. I carry a Buddha with me in my heart. Although I've wanted to have a Buddha somewhere, but then that kind of changes the whole flavor of the house. You know what I mean? That's true. The house is very peaceful, for sure. It's got really good energy. Do you have any wind chimes at all? I do. Okay. I have a wind chime. It's outside my bedroom window. Okay. And right next to this humongous bird of paradise tree that I have planned. Which, by the way, you know, I grew up in the fucking projects, okay? I didn't even have my own bedroom until I was about 20 fucking four years old. All right? I can tell you stories about how I grew up. One bedroom, my sister, my grandmother, and myself lived in one fucking bedroom in bunk beds, okay? Wow. I slept on the top bunk, and my sister shared the bottom bunk with my grandmother. All right? So going from how I grew up to where I live now, it took me about three and a half years to acclimate to this ridiculous place I live in. Once upon a time, Nestor was a poor little Puerto Rican boy growing up in the projects. Believe it or not. Believe it or not. You know, remembers, and you live, you know, a state of mind and emotional, how do you call it? Your emotional history, you know, follows you wherever you go. So it really doesn't matter the fact that now all of a sudden I'm living in, you know, the 91604 and like property values are like whatever. I like emotional history. I've never heard that phrase before, but I like it. Well, I'll give you an example. Emotional history, right? So I'm 46. something, something, something. Don't be asking no questions. He's 40 something. I'm 40 something. I'm giving you an example. I'm 30 something. Right. My sister is three years younger than me. Right. Is this a math test? No, I'm giving you I'm giving you a reference to what I'm talking about. So 30, she's 35. She's 32. And whenever we were around our mother, right. On a visit. Right. And this happened recently. Whenever we're around our mother, we we would we would we would treat each other as if I was 15 and she was 13 or I was 13 and she was 11. Like you give her noogies and stuff. No, no, no, no, no. It was it was it was it was this behavior. It wasn't physical. It's the way we the way we are. We guys related to each related to each other. And it took me a while. This is probably in my late 20s, early 30s. It took me a while that I realized, fuck, every time I'm in front of my mother, we revert to this age because that's the emotional history that we had to each other. But is it nice and does it work or is it a problem? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because my family does the same thing. Actually, I noticed this on Mother's Day when our family got together that we got into some sort of weird dynamic, which I don't like. No, I don't like these family dynamics. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was horrible. It was horrible for years. It was horrible. I mean, I had to take a lot of time, energy. And investment. I mean, I went to therapy with my sister. Wow. You know, I was like, I invited my sister. Dude, I'm fucking 40 years old, bro. I'm 45. We're in Puerto Rico. I'm gonna get this the last time something like this happened. We're in Puerto Rico. All right. Now my sister is three years younger than me. I'm not going to disclose her age. Right. So I'm 40. I'm in Puerto Rico. Everything's going OK. The last night, a fucking full blown out blowout. Fuck you. It was the only thing that wasn't. And there was shit being thrown in a hotel room. OK. Now. Now I can't tell you why it happened. All I can tell you is that I had. Some coffee and maybe that fucking put me a little bit on edge. And mind you, I was driving around. I was driving. I paid for the hotel. I paid for the car. So in my mind, I'm thinking, you know, I'm I'm being the older brother. I'm taking care of shit. And this is what happened. My sister and I are Puerto Rico. We're trying to help my mother get. her shit together mind you my mother never called us and asked us if we can go over there and help her get her shit together meaning her paperwork in order how much you know how much money do you have how much money are you spending on your car just bullshit we're trying to do something nice but what it did what it did was it stirred up a lot of shit right unbeknownst to us so this is what happened so my sister's in the bed my mother's day and i'm i'm getting some paperwork together and i say to my sister could you get me that over there could you give me that she goes get it yourself i said i fucking blew a gasket it was just like what get it myself i mean you can't just fucking give me the thing and you asked her you didn't order her i asked her yeah and then it became this thing about well she and then she said something like well that's your shit i said that's my shit go fuck yourself in other words that's your shit that's your problem right wait hang on a second if you're gonna tell me that you and your sister have been to therapy together which is not really common you! siblings to go as adults to go to therapy together right so if you're gonna tell me that i have to ask what went on in your childhood that you're going to therapy with your sister there must be some stuff in the closet you don't want to talk about well well what went on what went on in our childhood is that my mother and father were divorced at a very young age i went to boarding school for about three years in new jersey i was separated from my sister had her own perspective of our relationship growing up i had my own experience right so i was the older brother i was getting high i was drinking i wasn't able to be there for my sister my sister was doing her own thing my father was an alcoholic i just told you that the you know the living conditions that we were there were no boundaries nothing sexual ever happened nothing uh uh uh physical i mean we fought you didn't touch her never no there wasn't like that what it was because i'm gonna imagine that if i I went to therapy with my sister because I touched her. Right. Well, that's, you know, she touched me. Right. That's that's that's a specific type of therapy. What I was going to therapy was for was and the reason I've gone to therapy in my life is so that I can get to the source of how I relate to other people. Right. So, for instance, and this message has been brought to you by the Church of Scientology. Remember, clear is the good news. So I love that sound. I've always as a kid loved the sound of fucking glass breaking. Oh, I used to love breaking glass. I love it. I love it. As a troubled kid. I love it. I love when like when there's an accident in New York. I want to hear the. I want to hear that shit. You know what I mean? I always stop. So when I'm in New York and you hear people screeching, I always go. Well, you like the city. I know. Like even when we come to downtown to me. Downtown. You get in. You get out. You get in. You get out. I love people. But Nestor likes urban areas. I love people. I love people. When you when you when you live in the valley. I can love people in over a beautiful cliff, a beautiful ocean scene. I don't need to come. Big up to all the motherfucking people. All right. Listen. So so we just like fucking went on a detour. Let me finish what I was saying. OK, so you and your sister blew up in Puerto Rico. Forget that. The whole purpose of going to therapy for me. Throughout my whole life was how I relate. Right. How I relate to my wife. You know, you treat each other and you operate from a certain place. And it's usually based on what your previous relationships are. For instance, I represented my my wife's mother. I was closely. What do you call it? I had the same personality type and characteristic of her mother. So for me. Have you and your wife been to therapy? Me and my wife. Me and my wife. We could have bought another. We could have bought another house with the amount of therapy. So you've been to therapy with your wife. You've been a therapy with your sister. Don't go trying to drag me to therapy. Motherfucker. I've been I've been I've been in couples therapy. I've been individual therapy. And then and then what happened was I wanted to bring my sister. I said, you know, I said, why don't you would you would you like or would you consider going to therapy with me? So do you go Dutch treat or do you or do you pay for it? You pay for it. Yeah, well, that's nice. Yeah. I tell you what. If you if you go to therapy. If you pay. I'm not saying motherfucker. Our relationship is fine the way it is. There's nothing that needs to be altered. But therapy is fun, though. I've been to therapy. It's not fun. It is funny. No. You talk about yourself for 50 minutes. What else? You get to talk about yourself for 50 minutes straight. I don't like to. I find myself. I love to talk. But it's almost like I'm sitting in front of some dude and like he's expecting me to say something that I haven't really said to anyone before. No. Or to tap into something. Dude, I only get hot chick therapists. Yeah. I'm going to pay you to talk to you. I think of it like a date. It's like a date to me. I'm paying for a date who's it's a one sided date where I'm just talking all about myself to this attractive date of mine. That's how I handle therapy. Okay. Is that wrong? That's fucked up. But time for a little time for a little plug. This is Michael Chiklis and you're listening to Nestorius Public Radio. Wow. Yeah. That's right, motherfuckers. You know, on my previous radio shows, I do the station identification. You got Michael fucking Chiklis. I got a bunch of motherfuckers. I got Dennis Quaid. Damn. I got Dennis Quaid on this motherfucking scene. You got Dennis Quaid? I got Dennis Quaid. You got Common? I got Common. You got Common doing station identification? I got Dennis Quaid. Hold on. Damn it. Let me see if I can find Dennis Quaid. Hold on a second. I'll get Dennis Quaid on. Dennis Quaid. Hold on a second. On these other radio shows, I'm like, you're listening to the radio show that's playing? You remember the set of Vegas with Dennis Quaid? Hold on a second. Hold on. I got Dennis. I got Dennis. Come on, man. Cue that shit. No, hold on. You know what it is? I don't have the specific ... He did two plugs for me. I'll find them. But let me just finish the thought about therapy. Because we go all over the place like we do here, which is fine. I love it. That's what I love about it. You feed me. I go crazy. We're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. That's what's going on. But what I'm saying is, so I asked my sister if she would consider going to therapy with me for one single reason. What? So that we could, A, have a better relationship, and B, so that we can communicate with each other a little bit more effectively, right? Because I noticed for many, many years, that whenever her and I would talk, she would get defensive, right? You know, she'd joke. I could tell she'd be like a cat that felt threatened. Her fucking, the back would come up, and I'm like, dude- That's PTSD, man. That's post-traumatic stress. Right, right, right, bitch. What did you do to her? Nothing. and we fought, dude. We used to fight physically. Fuck you! I mean, you know, it's Puerto Rican household. Fuck you, motherfucker! Don't fuck with me, bitch! Don't fuck yourself! Don't fuck yourself, you fucking whore! Now pass the paella, motherfucker! This is the worst Christmas day ever! Yo, I got Christmas stories outside you. Dude, I had a fucked up childhood. So, so bad. I did, I had a fucked up childhood. Emotionally, I did. I mean, I don't, I'm not shy about it because... You want a tree? Go steal a tree, motherfucker! Yeah. You want a G.I. Joe? You want a G.I. Joe? What color G.I. Joe do you want? That's how it was, dude. I'm telling you, I ain't even playing. So, so, so, so, my sister and I went to therapy and this is what happened, dude. It was, okay, I'm gonna tell you something that happened to me one time. Years before this, my sister and I got into another fight. We would always get into these fights. Things would be great and then, and then it was like a bomb went off. And then we wouldn't talk for a while and then I'd be the one to be like, look, I apologize because I'd be the one that'd fucking blow up because I, I felt like I needed to act a certain way, you know, to acquiesce to her and, and I was always the one that was, you know, anyway, so one day, we're, we're, we're in her apartment in New York and she's telling me how she felt about me, right? She told me that when we were kids and we were in Disney World, my father, my father took her and I to Disney World on a bus ride down there and he, my father was an alcoholic so he'd leave us in the hotel room and he'd go to a bar and we go to the pool. So we're talking about you took a bus from New York down the East Coast to Florida. Yes, that was a fucking trip. I mean, it sounds like fun on paper. Well, it was fun. Okay. It was fun. It was fun, but if you look at the pictures, they look sad. And if I was to show you those pictures, you know, those 70s pictures, they all look sad. They had like a muted fucking tint to them and, and, and so it was, it was a little sad because, because your dad. You look like a molester. No, no, no, your dad left you in a hotel room and you know he's drinking and you're there by yourself. Hey, my sister and I would go in the, in the pool and you know, we fuck around and I try to dunk her head in the, in the, basically she's telling me. That you're trying to drown her. Yes. So she's telling me, well, you know, this is, this is, this is my perspective of, you know, our relationship and like for the first time in my life, I realized, wow, I wasn't aware of this. So you did touch your sister, but it wasn't to molester her, it was to kill her. Listen, go fuck yourself. You're trying to like pin me into something like, did I touch my sister's shit? No, no, you tried to kill your sister. She, she thinks really you tried to kill her? No, no, I was just fucking, it's not, it has nothing to do with that. It has to do with when you're kids and you feel threatened, you know, you, you, your fear factor comes up and then you, you learn how to, you know, brace yourself for that, for the unexpected. So basically, I'm telling you that that's how our relationship was formulated, right? So, so I had this experience with her prior and it was like, kind of like an out-of-body experience for me because I was like, wow, for the first time I got to experience firsthand from her how she viewed me, what her experience of me was. You understand? Yes. So, fast forward to this last time, we went on, on, on a few sessions and it was fucking amazing, dude, because I don't think she knew what I, what I had gone through, you know, my experience. She knew her experience, right? I went to boarding school, I mean, and she'd see me on the weekends and stuff like that. She didn't know, like, the shame that I had experienced growing up and all this other stuff, you know, that, that, that how I viewed my life and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I think that what happened was she, she was able to see me in a different light, right? And so, the emotional history that she had was able to not be erased, but it was able to be updated. It's almost as if you're fucking around with an old operating system on your computer. So now, you know, I have a more updated one. And I got to tell you, the relationship my sister and I has gotten completely fucking different. She doesn't talk to me. Like, like, she doesn't, when I talk to her, I don't sense any, like, defensiveness on her part. You know what I mean? Like, we, we will talk and she'll be like, I love you. And I'm like, I love you too. You know, or I'll say I love you. You know what I mean? And so the reason, let me just give you this example. The reason I wanted to, I said that, uh, so that we can communicate effectively and we can have a better relationship because I knew that we, we loved each other. We have a tremendous amount of love and respect for each other. But yet, we, we're unable to communicate like to people who have that, if that makes sense. Well, yeah, because you may have walls to intimacy as a lot of people have, particularly that have experienced trauma in their life or in their childhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so, you know, anyway. Walls to intimacy. So, so that's the deal. By Joan Collins. That's the, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Oh, Jackie Collins, not Joan Collins. Jackie Collins, Joan Collins. Jackie Collins was hot, man. She was hotter than Joan, you think? Um, I think they were both hot. Jackie Collins was hot. In the 80s. We don't want to ostracize our young listeners. If you're under the age of 30, you may not know who Jackie or Joan Collins is. Well, look her up, man. They're two fucking hot milfs. They, they, they, they were. Milfs? They're like, they're like great gilfs now at this point. Well, well, yeah, grandmothers. But at the time, you know, as a kid, they were, they were milfs. They were hot milfs. Yeah. Well, before the phrase, they would be considered milfs. But I don't know if they were, like, milf implies motherhood. That's the M of milf. Yeah. You have to be a mother. But if you're just an attractive older woman, let's say in your 40s or 50s, then you're not really a milf unless you're a mother. You're just an attractive older woman. Okay. All right. So I don't think that Joan Collins was a mother on Dynasty. All right. Dynasty was an old show from the 1980s featuring Joan Collins. Okay. Joan Collins' sister is an author famous for writing romance novels. I, I, yeah, I'm looking for that Dennis Quaid plug. Hold on. You're still looking for Dennis Quaid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on a second. This segment is brought to you by Microsoft. When you really need something, you will not find it. Hold on a second. I'm Dennis Quaid, and you're listening to Nestorius Public Radio. I'm Dennis Quaid, and you're listening to The Breaks. That's another show that I used to do, The Breaks. So, so, you, you're so proud of that promo that you played the promo of another radio show. Well, that was another show that I did. I mean, a lot of my listeners from Nestorius Public Radio are, are flow overs. Oh, really? You got some carry overs, some rollovers? Oh, oh yeah. I got amazing, I, I got, I got a whole slew of fans from The Breaks. Okay. Well, if you used to listen to The Breaks, like I used to listen to The Breaks, you know. Yeah. I'm not just a, a colleague, I'm a fan. Big up. Big up. I used to listen to The Breaks hoping to, to hear some hip hop, and I wouldn't hear no hip hop, and I'd be pissed. I used to listen to The Breaks, The Breaks, The Breaks, The Breaks, The Breaks, The Breaks, with the frosted flakes, with the frosted filling, you don't stop chilling, illing with the little sprinkles on the dot, you know what I mean? The hot. And those rhymes were writ, also. Those rhymes were writ. writ. They were writ, because I don't give a shit. W-R-I-T. Yeah, yeah, writ. So, so, so, um, um, where were we? Yeah, so The Breaks, for those of you that don't know, is a show that I used to do with Jam Master James, and myself, and a couple of other cohorts that used to come through there, and that was on, on, uh, um, um, Kevin Smith's Smodcast, uh, dot com network. So, uh, Smodcast is probably one of the biggest, I think it's still one of the biggest internet, uh, radio, uh, stations, and he's got 50 million shows on there, and The Breaks was one of them. And you can go back and listen to some, some of those shows, they're fucking hilarious. Oh, the shows are in archives? Oh, yeah. Okay, that's funny. Oh, they're fucking hilarious. You can get them on iTunes. The Breaks, T-H-A-B-R-E-A-K-S, like these are The Breaks, Breaks, Breaks, Breaks, Breaks. Anyway, it's the motherfucking 4th of July. It's tomorrow's 4th of July. Oh, beautiful for spacious. So, so we were gonna talk about. I'm trying to sing patriotic music, motherfucker. Yo, dude, we were gonna talk about a lot of bullshit, and I, and I sent you all these articles. So, why don't I just, why don't I just like, you know, I wanna, the theme was gonna be like, independence, right? Like, like, um, like, what's freedom mean? You know what I mean? We live in America. Yes. Right? And, like, you can, just in, Los Angeles, how many burger joints are there in Los Angeles? In the city of Los Angeles, burger joints? Yeah. Big chains and independents? Yeah. There's gotta be 20,000. Not 20,000. You don't think there's 20,000 burger joints in the city of Los Angeles? Do you know how big the city of Los Angeles is? You can't, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying like, Carl's Jr. Okay, 10,000. How about 10,000? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying like, Carl's Jr. is, Carl's Jr. has like, 500 restaurants. I'm talking about, different, different outlets, right? So Carl's Jr., McDonald's, In-N-Out, Fat Burger, fucking, you know, this type of stuff, right? So, in, in, in LA, all right, 20,000 burgers, let's leave it at that. You can get fucking, burgers up the ass, right? And so, the point is, that we have so much of everything here, that you can do whatever you want, get whatever you want, whenever you want, and, and, so, it doesn't, it's not a big thing. It's not a big deal. We take it for granted. Right? Okay. So like, I mean, so like, for instance, I went to Cuba, right? Cuba, And you got in a fight with your sister in Cuba now? No, no, no, no. Cuba, like, so, a lot of people don't understand the rationing, right, example, right? So, when you, when you talk about a communist country, and you have a rationing booklet, a ration booklet, right? I was always under the impression that, if I have a, if I had a ration booklet, that means that the government would give me, let's say, you were, able to get, you know, three pounds of rice, two pounds of beans, one pound of beef, that you'd go in a line, and the government would give you that, right? They have a rationing app today. It's more convenient. Well, well, where, who has a rationing app? Yeah, they have, no one has a rationing app. Cuba has a rationing app. So, just to give you an example, how it works is that, you know, there's, there's a dry goods supply, store, that's owned by the government. So, you, you're allowed to, to buy, not, you're not getting, anything for free. You're allowed to buy, five pounds of rice, for the month, for one family. You're allowed to buy, you know, three pounds of beans, for the month, for the family. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're allowed to buy, five pounds of dry, powdered milk, for the month, for the family, right? So, but here's the kicker. So, you go to the store, they may not have beans. So, you can't buy the beans, that you're allowed to buy, right? Because, because it's not available, right? So, hopefully, one of your neighbors, that lives near you, has an, a surplus of beans, and so, you can, you know, trade with them, or this month, you'll get some of their beans, and you make rice, and so, in a sense, that's what makes the, the true sense of community, communism, right? Because you really have to depend, on your neighbor for something. You're gonna have to, at some point, you know, many times in your lifetime, right? So, you may go to the store, there's no meat. So, you can't buy meat. You know what I mean? Regular milk, I believe, was reserved only for mothers, with babies, and babies. Everybody else can buy, powdered milk. The point of me, of me saying this, is because, in America, we don't have that problem. In America, you know, we've, we've done a, we've done a show here about, the drought in California, right? And, two of the, of the most, water thirsty items, agricultural items, are avocados, and almonds, right? So, the majority of, the water consumption, in the United States, particularly in, in California, is agriculture, right? Well, if you're talking about two particular crops, and then from a, business perspective, or even from an ecological perspective, you would say, let's look to, a different, vegetable, or seedling. Well, what I'm saying, follow my, follow my saying, agriculture consumes most of the water. Most of our water gets wasted, in agriculture, because there, the way they cultivate crops, is, from an antiquated way. They spray excess amounts of water, and all that other stuff. Within, the agricultural, Well, you're saying that there are new ways of watering, that are more resourceful. There's new ways, and more resourceful, to do a lot of things, but it would cost a lot of money, to, you know, integrate those new systems, and, and who's going to pay for, yada, yada, we're not talking about that. We're talking about, what I'm trying to, I'm just, give me a second here, right? So, follow me. So, within the agricultural, are you still talking about psychotherapy? Yeah, right. The, the avocado, and the almonds, consume the most amount of water, right? Now, think about this. In America, at any given time, you can go to any store. How many Ralph's supermarkets are there? 20,000. 20,000. How many Vaughn's supermarkets are there? 20,000. How many fucking Trader Joe's supermarkets? 20,000. Every one of those outlets, has, psychotic, psychotic amounts of avocados. Yes. Psychotic amounts of almonds, right? Now, the population cannot consume, that many fucking avocados, and that many almonds, Okay. in a month. So, there's a surplus of avocados? There's a waste. A lot of those avocados get wasted, and they get thrown out, right? So, They don't become guacamole? It, it would be great if the supermarket could make guacamole. I'm sure Whole Foods does something like that. But what I'm saying is, Well, it's like the leftover chicken at El Pollo Loco. It, it, they put it in the chicken bowl. They chop it up, they put it in the chicken bowl. That's fine. But what I'm saying is, you know, I believe, I believe that we could learn a little bit from rationing. You know what I mean? It's like, not every one of these stores should carry, you know, an, an exorbitant amount of avocados. You should, you know, like Ralph's should only be allowed to purchase, let's say, um, um, 50 pounds a month. Okay? So, so what'll happen is this. So, when those 50 pounds are gone in the, in that month, it'll probably be gone in a week or two, cause assholes will fucking buy them all. And then the supermarkets would have to instill, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, or Kore or a waste, you know, substantially. And this segment on rationing is brought to you by FEMA. That's right, FEMA. You don't really need that much bread. Right. Give me those avocados, you motherfucker! You cocksucker! I need my avocado for my salad! I love those gunshots. I mean, you know, as a sound effect. Not in real life. I don't know. Oh, speaking of gunshots, did I say this last week? That this dude... Hang on, hang on. You went on this long, the longest story of all time about avocados and almonds, then you just ended. So those avocados and almonds use up a lot of water. Okay, and then what? I was just saying that we could... If we were rationing, right? If our government stepped in and said, there's a lot of waste, and we rationed. I'm... All I was just saying is that we take a lot for granted in America. Going back to the independence. Our freedom is, we take so much for granted. There's always avocado. There's so much fucking avocado that, you know, a good majority of those motherfuckers are gonna go... They're gonna go bad. They're gonna be wasted. Well, I would say food in general. You're saying especially avocados, but food in general. No, no. The reason I mention avocados is because they consume the most amount of water, and we have a water shortage in California. It's an extreme example. I think you're against avocados because avocados become guacamole, and you're against... Against Mexicans like Trump. And Mexicans could eat my ass. Yeah. That's for sure. Is avocado a part of the Puerto Rican diet? Avocados, different kinds of avocados. You, you, you wetback motherfuckers, you guys buy these Haas avocados. These, like, ugly-ass, dark brown skin. Us legal Latinos, a.k.a. Puerto Ricans, right? We get these big motherfuckers. The 51st state, Puerto Rico. These big motherfuckers. And they're more... When you go to New York, I'll show you. That's another... That's another... Scenario. You know what I mean? I want to meet Rosie Perez in New York. Wasn't the Spider-Man cartoon filmed in New York? That's funny. That's funny because that's... That's actually a little intro to the Spider-Man, but I just used that part. But it goes like this. I love that. This is a great one. This is an awesome one. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Oh, there we go. That's the full version. Yeah. He's a Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Yeah. That's what it is. Fuck that. I love that shit. It's awesome. That's because you're a geek. For those of you who just tuned in, that was a theme from a Spider-Man cartoon from the early 1980s in the United States of America. Guacamole! So, the gun. Did I tell you about this? Did we mention this yesterday? There was a guy, and I believe in Georgia, he had an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle. You're going from avocados to AR-15s? Can you lube me up a little bit first, please? Well, you said you like the gunfire, so I just said, so this happened a couple weeks ago. This guy's walking... Wait, a guy's walking through the airport legally carrying an AR-15? Well, everyone's freaking out. I wonder if he was white. I wonder. Well, yeah. Okay. We're not gonna... You decide. You decide. Was he white or was he a Negro? Remember, he was not apprehended and was within his constitutional rights. Well, he was walking around with this AR-15, assault rifle, semi-automatic, and everyone's freaking the fuck out. And so it was in the news, and apparently in Georgia, it is legal to walk around with an AR-15 semi-automatic weapon. You can... As long as it's in plain sight, you can walk around with it because you never know. You might need it. See, that's strange to me because I was always under the impression that airports are under a different law because they're governed by the... What is it? The FTA? FCC. FCC? It used to be FAA, the Federal Air Force. FCC? The FAA, yes. The FAA, yes. The FAA, yes. The FAA, yes. The FAA, yes. The FAA, yes. The FAA governs the airport. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do things at the airport that you can do elsewhere, which implies it's governed by different laws. No, no, no, no. The FAA regulates from the point you go onto a gate. Prior to that, it's a local property, right? So once you pass TSA and they check your flight and now you've gone into your gate, now you're on a particular airline's terminal. That terminal is governed by the federal government because they govern the air. And so you're on that airline's property, let's say, right? Yeah, and for the most part, you have lost some of your constitutional rights in that jurisdiction. For the most part, yeah. For the most part, yeah. I mean, if you've ever been a passenger on a plane, I think you have recently, where they make you sit there. Yeah. I mean, nowhere in the world can they hold you hostage like that except for on a plane. Yeah, you can't leave. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. I always thought the airport, but you're right. So there's some sort of invisible dividing line. Well, what it is is that the different airlines lease those terminals, right? So American Airlines, for instance, in LAX, they lease that terminal from the municipality of Los Angeles, right? So LAX is owned by Los Angeles, and it's subsidized by tax dollars, but American Airlines, JetBlue, all these motherfuckers, they lease those terminals, right? So technically, you're on that particular airline's property who is regulated, that airline is regulated by the federal government. Okay, so that guy cannot walk beyond that invisible line with the gun. No, no. You can't go through TSA with a gun. No, impossible. Even though it's within the United States. Which is what was fucked up, you know, with 9-11. This was what was fucked up because you would think that since the federal government regulates and mandates all of those terminals in all of the United States, you would think that all of those TSA workers would have been trained in the same manner, right? But they weren't because all those people were independent contractors hired by that particular airline to work at that particular airport. At that particular gate. Well, at that particular airport. So in that terminal of American Airlines and JFK, those guys were trained somewhat differently than TSA agents in Georgia at the terminal of American Airlines there. If I own an airline, I would train all my employees that worked at the gate. I would train them in mixed martial arts. Which is what's fucked up because at that time, that's why you can get, you know, you can get away with bringing a box cutter in over here. You could, so now, the federal government stepped in and said no water, no knives, no tools, but you could bring a lighter, one lighter. You could bring one lighter. Why would you need a lighter? Like, why do I need, you can't smoke on the plane, so why would I need a fucking lighter? Because, because you can't, because, okay, so because, you want to know my answer? Because in case somebody's sitting next to you and snoring, you could take the lighter and fucking burn his nostrils. You know what I mean? That's what I would do. I thought it was so if you take a stinky dump in the bathroom, you can light the lighter to blow up the gas. You can bring in one book of matches or a lighter. It's fucking ludicrous, right? It makes no sense. It makes no sense. But, but I mean, that is the way it is in any airport in the United States of America. Yeah. Which, which, the whole thing was fucked up. Anyway, there was a recent, an article that we'll talk about another time since we're not really talking about anything independence today. Well, you started a topic where you wanted to talk about freedom. Well, well, I mean, those, we just talk about freedoms. Those are freedoms. It doesn't matter what we're talking about. We're having a good time. And, and, and, you know. From freedom to avocados. Yeah, you, you, you, you can tune it. You know, it doesn't matter. You can tune it next time. So, um, um, um, yeah, no, it was, it was, it was completely messed up that, you know, the federal government regulates all these things, but yet in every airport, they, they would train differently. But what I was getting at was that recently there's an article that I read that, uh, I think, I don't know how many items, like 200 items from knives to fucking weapons to explosives made it past TSA. Oh, I thought you were going to say that all of the weapons confiscated, like they're going to have some sort of yard sale. Like the TSA yard sale. No, but we. Get some butterfly knives. No, but a few, a few episodes back, I talked about how much money is left behind at all these airports and TSA gets to keep it, change like quarters, dimes, nickels, and stuff like that. And it's in the fucking, like, like 30, 40, 50, a hundred thousands. But why do people leave change? You don't have to leave change. Because you go through TSA, you empty your pockets, right? Anything metal has to be taken out of the pocket and you fucking in a rush to catch a flight, you know? And so I'm a seasoned traveler. Okay. So I have a bag. And before I even get on that motherfucking line, my belt is off. Anything metal is in a fucking pouch in my carry, in my, in my briefcase. And I don't have nothing in there. I'm not, by the time I get to, to the conveyor belt, I'm not fucking bugging out looking for stuff. In fact, Uncle Ness, he doesn't even go through that radio, radiation detection device. No, fuck that. I'll let him grab my balls. I don't give a shit. That's what I do. I go. They're like, they're like, do you want cancer? Or you want us to grab your balls? I say, grab my balls. I go male assist. And they come in. You say male assist? That's what it's called. It's called, it's. No, you say that or they say that? They say it. Okay. Cause I'm like female assist. But I already know. So it's called opting out, right? Yeah. So then the dude will be like male assist and some fucking happy, you know, guy can't be happier than to be there than any other place in his life. Comes over and he's like, yeah, you opting out? Yeah. Okay. Do you know, do you know, we have to search your whole body. We got to touch you. You know, I'm like, yeah, yeah. Just save the fucking speech. I do this like four times a month. I know you got to grab my balls. I don't need a fucking belt. I got it. Okay. Just let's, let's make it happen. I said, how many times a day do you smile? He looks at me like I'm crazy. I said, I'm gonna make you smile today. Okay. So I just crack them up or whatever. And then we move on. What if he was gay? Then if he was gay, that's his fucking situation. In other words, they bring a guy over. Oh, you're a guy. So we'll bring a guy to just search you. Well, why don't they bring, they could bring a lesbian, right? Who cares? I don't give a fuck what he is. What a sexual orientation. I don't care, but I'm saying publicly and socially, it's not just about sex. It's about, I think, sexual orientation. Therefore, they should have a, they could have a lesbian search a man. I'll be honest with you. I've been patted down. They're usually black guys. For the most part. They're like, yo, motherfucker. So you want to opt out, huh? You know, you know what the fuck is going on here, right? Or Latinos, right? I don't want a black guy grabbing my balls. I don't. You know why? Because he knows he's got a bigger one. He knows he's got a bigger dick than me. See, my thing is this. My thing is this. This is the thing. They tell you, I'm going to use the backside of my hand when I get close to your private areas. I'm like, what difference does it make? That means, just because, you use the backside of your hand, it's not fucking sexual molestation. Just because you use the back of your hand, you're not raping me? Yo, if you use the backside of your hand or the forward side of your hand, if you get close to my balls, it's called, you're fondling me, okay? Actually, the skin on the back of your hand is softer. Yeah. So I will actually enjoy it. Well, technically, there's no, it's not sensitive back there. So you can't, you can't connect to the erogenous zone in your mind. So therefore, it doesn't count as sexual molestation. Wait, wait, who, who can't connect the back of the hand to molestation? The person with the hand or the person being groped? No, no, the person with the hand. Oh, so, so that, that's, that's the, that's the mentality behind it. So, so I'm like, so I'm like, okay, okay, so you see that fat ass over there? So you mean to tell me if I rub the back of my hand around her ass, I'm not going to get arrested? You will feel nothing. I'm not going to feel nothing, so I'm not going to get arrested, so the dude will look at me like I'm crazy. No, no, no, no, I'm just saying, I mean, you know, anyway, so. Your honor, I only touched her with the back of my hand. Listen, we only have a few minutes, so I want to introduce my, our new intern, Giacomo. Hello, everyone. How you doing? Giacomo from Switzerland. Really fine. From Switzerland. From Switzerland. Wait a second, you're our new intern? Yes. I thought, I thought that this other guy that we met was the new intern. this is our new intern. This is, he belongs to, he's, he's, he's helping Raw Productions Inc. Wow. My company. He's helping a little bit of our company. He's on Nestorius Public Radio. He's our new intern. NPR Radio has an intern? I've had a couple of interns, but not, not as good. Damn, they're one percenters, motherfuckers? Not as good as Giacomo. I mean, a lot of times people are not on the ball. This guy, he's on the ball. Thank you. he's on the fucking ball. Where'd you guys meet, on Craigslist? On Switzerland Craigslist. Men seeking men. Hey, Giacomo, how you doing? Would you like to come over? Midnight? No, he's, he's, he's getting credit. He's getting, he's getting college credit for designing a couple of websites. And, and, and so his first time being in America. And, so he's going to design two websites, which are going to be a breeze because I already fucking got him. He's already done with one of them. So, the rest is, helping out with whatever he can. So he's going to get a full fucking blown learning experience. Wow. He goes back September 19th. Exactly, yeah. Back to Switzerland. I want to make sure you get back there. Well, if the camera can, can see Giacomo, he looks incredibly Swedish incredibly Swedish. Yeah. Or Swiss? Is it Swiss? Switzerland. Switzerland. You have Swiss background? Yes. Really? Yes. Wow. Yeah, so, so he's a, so you, you, you're from a small part of Switzerland where Italians migrated, right? Yeah, exactly. So it's close to Italy at some point. Really close, yes. So, so you guys were like the black sheep to the Swiss people, right? Yeah, exactly, yeah. It's kind of like the sound of music, right? What? The movie, The Sound of Music. Wasn't that Switzerland and Italy very close together? None of us are gay here, so we, there are no fucking Broadway plays, okay? Was that Germany? Man, I'm still high like a motherfucker. yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't, you know, like if, like if, you know, if we were discussing, you know, on Broadway fucking plays, maybe, but I don't know. I'm not into musicals, so I'm not sure what the fuck way you're getting at. But Giacomo, it's your first time in America. Wait, how long you been here now? For almost two weeks now. Two weeks? Two weeks? Two weeks and Nestor's already putting him to work. No, no, no, Get to work, motherfucker, no vacation for you. Rosemary gave him a bunch of DVDs to edit a new, a new reel. I gave him, I gave him an outline to do a website, her new website, which is pretty basic. Yeah, it is. You know, I have, I have artistic, boom, boom, boom, and you do the technical stuff. He went to In-N-Out Burger a couple of times. wow, what do you think of it? I loved it. Giacomo, if you travel a lot, do you opt out or do you get cancer in the x-ray machine? What? Do you go through the, the radiation thing? Yeah. That full body scan thing? Yeah, I go through that. You go through that? Yes. So there's your answer. I opt out. You opt out? You opt out all the time? I let him grope me all day. I don't want to go through that thing. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing that most people don't know. You can go through that fucking full body scan and after that, they can still pull you aside. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, they can still pull you aside and say, sir, could you step over here? We need, we need to search you. So I cut to the fucking chase. I'm like, I don't know what the fuck that is. You want to check me? Let's do it. I'm, and here, I get to the airport at least an hour and a half in advance. Yeah. So I'm cool. I got no stress. Oh, yeah. I'm like, take your time. Rub me with the back of your hand everywhere. I got some balls in my back pocket. You know what I'm saying? And you know how to rock it? You know it. So, so we took him to, we went to Amoeba Records yesterday for the first time. Awesome. That place is fucking unbelievable. Fucking huge and an awesome place. Yeah. Amoeba Records is probably the biggest, biggest record store in America. Is it? Oh, yeah. There aren't that many. Well, actually, yeah, there aren't that many. There aren't that many. Well, there aren't any left. Yeah. But, I mean, there was, there was H, H, Her Majesty, HMV used to be one of them. Her Majesty's Voice used to be in New York and here. But Sunset and Cahuenga, right? Well, I don't know where it was here, but there was a, Tower Records was another. All those places went out of business. Yes. Amoeba is the only one left in LA that's that big. No, Amoeba is on Cahuenga and Sunset. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right across the street from the location of your so-called White Castle burger joint. We're going to talk about that on the air sometime. Definitely. Lester and I got into a big fight about the existence of a White Castle on the West Coast and particularly Los Angeles. And, and you know what? I was right, motherfuckers. Well, I think you're right. Yeah, I think, and that was the location. Right now, there's a Jack in a Box. Anyway, Giacomo, so, so, so, how is it here different than, than in Switzerland? I mean, you guys have a subsidized education. Yeah. You got subsidized medical. You're going to, motherfuckers going to start talking about socialism with two minutes and 50 seconds remaining in the show. no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying you're in a capitalistic society. So how was, I mean, like, you know, at first when you come in here, like, what's your impression? The first impression that I got is that people act a little different than back in Switzerland. So, they speak English. Yeah. Apart from that, no, they're really nice. People, pick up your English speaking motherfuckers. Okay, no, act differently. How so? They're nicer to people, to everyone. When you go into a store or into a market or into a bar, everyone is asking, how are you? Are you, are you doing? That's LA though. That's LA. In LA, yeah. New York is different. I'm going to take you to New York. You'll see it's a little different in New York. Yeah, but even in Switzerland, when you go in, in a store, no one gives a fuck. Oh, there's the dude there with his smartphone playing and he doesn't even say, hi, many times. And if you need something, you're the one that's got to go up to him and say, excuse me. Exactly. Right. And in New York, when you go into a store in New York, they go, what the fuck do you want, motherfucker? Okay. Okay. So, so, so the first impression is that people are generally more warm and they're nice. Exactly. Interesting. That's nice to hear. Yeah, definitely. I love that. America's a great place. I mean, we have a lot of fucking problems and a lot of crazy ass, stupid things like, like, like Donald Trump, which we're going to have to talk another time. The outline that I sent you, we're going to keep that for the next show because we didn't even touch on any of that stuff. But, but so, so you live in Hollywood. Who do you, who do you live with? Some roommates, which I just met. Really? Are you guys doing the Airbnb thing? Yes. Yes. Exactly. Wow. So, so, I mean, you're in a pedestrian area, so you can walk wherever you want. Exactly. You told me, you, you, you, you told us, I'm not going to get high yet because I need to get my bearings straight. There's a lot of fucking places. This place is so huge that, yeah. Oh, LA is huge. Yeah. I'm going to drive you back to Hollywood today. So you'll see how fucking, how, how nasty I am as a driver. Okay. He's a good driver. He's just a crazy driver. That's fine for me. Yeah. Good and crazy. All right. So, so aside from what we've discussed about what you're going to do for raw productions and all that stuff, what are your expectations here in America? Like, are you looking for an American wife with a big ass? No, no, no. Like, I want to hear, we got like less than a minute. I just want to know, what your expectations are. I don't know much expectation. I just seen, saw what I wanted to see, how the people is doing, what, what they're doing, where they're going, what are the attitudes and that I have already seen. And I liked it so far. Then I want to see, of course, many stuff of the serious industries, movie industries and stuff like that. And tours, tours of the studios and stuff. Yes, exactly. Maybe if it's possible, and yeah, see a few places like New York, as you told me, and San Diego, which I'm going to go there tomorrow to see my brother. When we go to New York, I'm going to take you to a very famous corner with a mug Italians. They rip you off. Yo motherfucker, you from Switzerland, you Italian. I'm a fuck you up. Let me get your money, motherfucker. Yo, yo, don't look at me that way, motherfucker. Yo, you got some money in your pocket? You got some money in your pocket? Yo, yo. Yo. So we'll have you back on the show so you can get more of a flavor. This show, this episode was a little wacky and crazy. We started out talking about hoping to start talking about independence, and we got into therapy and all that other stuff, which you know what? I kind of liked that. I hope that your relationship with your sister is better now after the show. My relationship with my sister is magnificent. I love my sister to death. You know, for those of you who don't know, my sister's a little bit of a bitch. She's Elizabeth Rodriguez. She's on Orange is the New Black. She's actually on a new spinoff of The Walking Dead called Fear of the Walking Dead. Oh, I want to see that. Is that on Netflix yet? It's AMC. Really? It's an AMC show. Nice. So, you know, she's been an actress for a long time, and she's fucking, you know, knocking out. She was on Grimm, and she's been on a lot of different shows. She's awesome. You'll meet her. Anyway, that's it. I hope you guys have a beautiful, safe, and, you know, joyous, you know, happy, you know, Christmas, 4th of July. It's this coming weekend. I know by the time you listen to it, it'll be Christmas, because I have a hard time submitting my show summaries. But nonetheless, for those of you that are listening live, I hope you have a nice holiday, a nice, safe holiday. Yes, Sal? Yes, I would like to invite everyone to check out my toy and tech review channel, youtube.com slash... Hey, shut up, motherfuckers! Shut your fucking holes! Yes, I would like to ask you guys to check out my YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash Hey, shut up, motherfuckers! Shut your fucking holes! Yes, I would like to ask you guys to check out my YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash Hey, Shut up, motherfuckers! Check out and review my new pubic hair channel. I don't really sell them. Can I buy the toys after you advertise them? Jennifer, Jenny, did you just say that on the air? Say it again, say it again. That's hilarious. Sorry, I normally don't butt in, but I thought I want to buy your toys after you advertise them. Do you collect toys? Oh, yeah, many, many toys. Do you really? No. Okay, I want you guys to... Hang on, youtube.com slash... YouTube.com slash... YouTube.com. YouTube.com. I'm trying to fucking plug myself. I want you guys to check out my new pubic hair channel. I don't really sell anything there, but I allow you and invite you to know the proper techniques of how to braid your own pubic hair or what closeness you can shave them just to be chic in this day and age. YouTube forward slash pube for you. That's my new YouTube channel. Pube for you saved my marriage. Go ahead, Sal. I'm fucking with you. You crack me up, though. YouTube.com slash SalvadorLazaro. YouTube.com slash SalvadorLazaro. I am up to nearly 1,600 subscribers. Why not you? Why not you? That's it. That's it. YouTube.com. All right, y'all, have a peace and happy and like us on Facebook. Tell your friends to subscribe to the Storius Public Radio on iTunes and all that shit. I want to give a big up to Finland. I want to give a big up to Switzerland. I want to give a big up to... I got some downloads from Pakistan. Pakistan! Fuck that, yo! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! Pakistan! So y'all gotta like, you know, encourage me the whole way along.