Strip club stories, escort agency tales, and sex talk

That one. That one. Behind the glass. Okay. Míralo. So. Míralo. Míralo. Míralo. So Suzy wanted to go to a strip club. Suzy, what made you want to go to a strip club? I just wanted experience, you know, see what guys like, you know. And so have you ever been to a strip club before? No. It was pretty fun. This was your first time, huh? Yeah. It was pretty fun. I took him to a good one. I took him to the playpen. It was a playpen out on Santa Fe and 7th. Mm-hmm. Right next, in the warehouse district. Right next to like a practice spot that a lot of bands use. It's like almost across the street. Yep. And the cops were there. We were all drinking beers in the car. Oh my God. Yeah. We were all drinking beers on the way over. We spilled the beer. I parked on red at first. Kitty pulls in and she just immediately panicked. Yeah. She's like, what do I do? There's cops here. Oh my God. What do I do? I did not even sound like that. You were freaking out a little bit. I can see it on your face when you freak out. Oh my God. And I'm just like, just fucking park your car and let's go into the strip club. Yeah, he was getting mad, dude. He totally like left us. He totally left us. You were, you were, what? And left us. All I could see is that second by second, you were making yourself look more guilty and more guilty. You're pulling out. You're. You're trying to park all straight. You end up like parking crooked and oh, I'm in the red. And these cops are just fucking busy busting some dude. Like, yeah, like they don't give a fuck what's going on over here. This guy's already inside getting a lap dance and we're still outside. Hiding our fear. I get out of the car. I go up to the cop. I'm like, can we walk through? And he's like, yeah, go ahead. And then you just left. Yeah. You didn't even say like, it's okay guys. You didn't even look back. You just totally left us out. I thought you would look at me, you know, like, Hey, he's going in. Let's just go. Walking towards the strip bar. We did look. You got out of your car. All three of you got out of the car and you just had this look on your face. Like we were doing something bad. We were doing something bad. Yeah. I was like, excuse me. You had to walk right in the middle of the crime scene or whatever the fuck that was. Well, yeah, because if I, if you walk. I was like, oh, first off I'm white. So yeah. So like, they're not going to do nothing to me anyway. They're not going to do nothing to me anyway. He's so right. Um, so, you know, as long as a white guy's leading the way, then, uh, you're fine. You paved the way. Like a trail of turns. We're all fucking gay. That's white. Follow the trail of dollar bills. The fucking, follow, get on the weto train. The weto train. The weto train. The weto train. The weto. The caboose left. He was like a mile away from us. Yeah, exactly. He had taken off. That was not a train. We weren't even off the car yet, but Tammy was already inside getting a lap dance. Like, come on. All right. So, so anyway, we, we got into the club. We got into the club. Let's move on, right? Let's move on. Suddenly. We go, we, we get some money. We get some bills. We go up. We, we sit at the, uh, pole dance. We go up. We go to the dance and start tossing some dollar bills at her and I told Kitty ahead of time, Hey, I want to get a lap dance with you and then, uh, Kitty's friends, uh, Susie and Maribel. Well, you had said Darlene got a lap dance with you. So then I felt like I had to up my game and get a lap dance with you. Yeah. Um, so they're going to get there. Your friends are going to get their own lap dance. You and me are going to do a love dance. lap dance. What's that? Nothing. Say that again. I was like, why are you in there? Because I'm controlling the board, you know. I don't do technical shit back here. I'm just asking. I'm completely isolated from you guys. Yeah. I hate you guys. I wish I could just stalk you from right here. So, Kitty, me and Kitty get a lap dance from this really skinny chick that just was... She's really skinny. Just terrible and not into it. And she hates her job. And she doesn't know why she's there. And she lost her iPhone. Oh, my God. There was a crying... She fucking stopped us at the door. Like, stop. She lost her phone. She's crying. Mascara running down her fucking face. Black makeup. Stops us at the fucking door. Did you steal my iPhone? Oh, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Before that even happened... Okay, after we had gotten the laptop... I got a lap dance from her, which Jeremy said was shitty. I've never gotten one before. It was shitty. And we'll talk more about, like, the actual experience and my reaction to this tripper. It was funny. Really funny. While she was giving her dance after she had already given us the lap dance, she's talking about losing her iPhone while she's giving the dance. Yeah, no, the pole dance when she was up on stage. Yeah, she's, like, pole dancing. And she's just like, have you guys seen my cell phone? I lost it to each other. I heard that, too. And you're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, really? And she's like, yeah. She's also grinding and fucking pumping and fucking whatever she's doing. But just in such an unsexy way, man. Yeah. She's just, like, flopping around. She's, like, the stereotypical I don't want to be here. You're just flopping her fucking vagina lips in our faces. Yes, it's pretty gross. Pretty much. I'm very unattractive. In the beginning, that's all she did in front of us. I'm all very turned off. I like the other girl. Yes. The girl in the yellow? The girl that you guys got the lap dance from. Yeah. Did you get a lap dance from her? Yes. I got a dance from her. And I came out and I told you she was pretty good. I guess she was. Yeah. She was pretty bomb. But she was the first girl. She's the one that did the reggaeton. Yes. She was the girl. She was on stage when we walked in. Yeah. I like those songs. That was her. Her butt was like, we're like, is your butt real? She's like, yeah, my butt's real. And I'm like, is your boobie, are your boobies real? She's like, no, they're fake. I got them done a month ago. I'm like, oh, my God. My boobs could be like that, but like, bitter. Well, yeah, I felt those boobs because she put them in my face. They're pretty. And then when the other one with the smaller boobs put them in my face, there was like a big difference. Really? Like, one was hard. Yeah. And one was like really soft. I like the soft. I like the natural. I'm a natural boob kind of girl, I guess. Well, I never felt that. But that girl, she, I don't know. It kind of felt like, I don't know. You know how like they have like those really soft blankets now? Like that one. She was like the natural one. And I'm like, oh, this one. Snuggie. See, that's the difference between like cheap fake boobs and really expensive fake boobs. It's how natural do they feel. Yeah, we're all natural here. I could tell the first one. I'm glad mine are natural. As a guy, that doesn't bother me at all. I don't care if they're natural or not. Oh. Whatever. Well, of course. You're a man. But no, some dudes are like way against fake tits, and I don't know why. Well, I like big butts. Yeah. Yeah. I'm more of a butt. And chichis. I like chichis. I love men with butts. Like football players have fucking the most amazing asses ever. Yeah, they're like. I just stick my face in them. So let's go over Kitty's lap dance experience first because just going in chronological order. Okay, hold on. You know how he left us in the parking lot or whatever? Yeah. So he did that same shit again. What do you mean? When he got the fucking lap dance, he was taking off and shit. I'd be pissed. I took off? Yes. You took off. Were you standing next to me? Were we walking together? I was done with him. I'm not standing together or walking together. And he's like, get it. Go. Let's go. Let's get her done. I'm first. I'm just like. I got my lap dance. What else do I need to do? Dang, not wait for Kitty. Well, what do you got to do? You should have been right behind me. I was. Oh, then what's the problem? Exactly. All right. So we're in the booth with it's mean Kitty and this just bad lap dancer. She looked like she could be hot. She had this weird outfit too. I didn't like that. She looks like she could be really hot, but she's not just like fucking was so unsexy. It was terrible. What was her ethnicity? I don't know. Like Thailand. I thought she was Latino. She kind of looked. Yeah. Latin. Really? Yeah. And that bitch was crying. She's like Thailand or Filipino or something. That bitch was Latin and she was crying because she's fucking Latin. She's crying because she's fucking Latin. And you know what? Don't be. I'm Hispanic too though. But I'm just saying. So, so Kitty, when we were in that lap dance though, you were, she even noticed, she said to you, why are you so stiff? My hands were so cold. My hands were freezing. Why are you so stiff? She said, and she told you to loosen up. I don't know. Hey, you can't keep secrets on the radio. What's going on? I farted. I farted. I farted. I farted. I farted. I farted. I farted. I farted. I farted. I farted. You just farted? Is that what you said? Oh, yeah. Is that what you said? Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks a lot Germs. What the fuck? Put them on blast and shit. I know. Oh, is that what you said? No. Yes. Oh, okay. One's on no, one's on yes. And then she looks at her. I thought we both was gonna say no. Real life. This is real life happening. Amma, oops. How did you guys see this? How did you guys see this? How did you guys see this? How did you guys see this? How did you guys see this? How did you guys see this? That's great So Kitty You were super nervous Why were you nervous? I thought that That was something That you'd enjoy I thought you would Get in there What happened? I don't know It was just so Up close and personal That I didn't I wasn't prepared for that Like See I would think That if you're really Into chicks That you would've been Cool with that And would've had fun No wait I have a question You didn't even try Touching her like Ass or titties I had to force her I touched her titties Yeah because I took Your hand And put it on her titties And she's like I don't want to touch What I'm not supposed to No hold on First I thought You couldn't touch them And then Jeremy was touching on her And then she's all like Yeah you just can't Touch me down there Or whatever And so like I put my hands On the back of her And I just keep them there Yeah you just put Her hands on her back It was so funny She just laid her hands On her back Oh my god Oh my god And I held them there On her back And the chick's like You can touch me In other places And Kitty Kitty first thought She said Don't touch me there Right Yeah and I like Took her hand And you're like Oh I'm sorry I didn't No she's like No you can touch me In other places Like you don't have to just She's all You can move your hands Yeah And my hands Were so cold Oh my god I felt bad But Jeremy said that She sucks So Jeremy was just like Yeah just go ahead Cause my hands My hands are really cold He's like yeah yeah yeah Make me feel the pain Yeah I don't know That's what Suzy was saying She's like I feel weird And I'm like no Just do it This is our money's worth Yeah exactly I'm gonna do whatever you can You're paying her 40 bucks a dance Per person So Exactly She's all All natural I'm like damn Her butt was all natural Awesome And we're just snapping Her fucking thong off Like wow Wow Just snapping it You know And then I was Slapping her ass And I was like yeah She just had it in her faces And then she was like Great I was telling Kitty When I got my dance From that girl This is a different girl That he's referring to No the one Yeah the one that they got Was the one that you got That's what I'm saying Not the crappy one we got The girl that your friends Here got I had a lap dance with her Just me and her She was great I started to pull her hair A little bit And she really got into it Like then she started Moaning and stuff Wait and more hair And she's into that Yeah I just grabbed her hair And just pulled a little bit And she liked that You know You know what's funny She would grab her hands And like play somewhere Where she wanted them Yeah That's how we knew Like we could fucking Touch her even more Yeah And then I was slapping her ass She actually put my hand Like on her crotch I'm like damn Oh my god Wow So she I know she would like Go all the way Her underwear was off No I told her to leave it on Because I just want her To be comfortable Like whatever Yeah But she would have Been down to take it off Whatever No she Like I know I saw her titties I like the titties So they're pretty She's way comfortable With her panties on Pretty nice Oh you're like I witnessed it Well obviously You would know She's totally comfortable With that I shouldn't take Her panties off I should have told her That chick was annoying And sucked Like that was the worst Lap dance ever Boo And she accused us of Stealing her iPhone Yeah Cause she went to that When she was dancing She stopped us at the door Crying Crying stripper To end the night Like if we did It No If she was a good stripper She could just buy Another iPhone Right Right Cause the girl before us Probably got like At least But now she's gonna have To do a pay by you go Pay by you go Yeah She's gonna have to buy A prepaid phone at Walmart Prepaid phone Like regular people Now she's in the Metro PCS Metro Metro piece of shit Metro piece of shit So you guys though Is this your First kind of Girl on girl experience Or have you done stuff before Oh no honey I've had A history Oh yeah Oh okay I thought this was like Your first experience Or something Mine no Oh okay Suzanne yours Susie Susie Yeah pretty much Yeah Yeah But they're getting paid To do it So it doesn't really count You know So you're In the back of your mind You're always like They're just getting paid So they're not really into it Yeah They're not into that shit Yeah They're getting Bitches are getting paid Okay that's it Trust me girl They are into it They are? I think I think sometimes They do get into it I mean they might as well right But like Sometimes Not all the time Did you think the one You got A one from Was into it Or she was like Faking it for the money Yeah it was a good day for her She was pretty good The girl you got Was pretty like A bad day for her Yeah cause she was crying And crap I wonder if she had Already lost it When she gave us a lap dance She can't She came up to me Right after our dance And said Did you see an iPhone And I'm like Nah I just got mine So she barely lost it Or she lost it Cause of us No She thought that we Took her iPhone No Yeah she did Because even after When she was dancing She looked at me and Suzy I even took my like I wanted to take my pockets out They're all ugly and shit And I was like Dude I don't take I don't even have anything I wouldn't take your stupid Why else would she Stop us at the door Me either I don't even have Fucking pockets I'm not even that ghetto She wouldn't stop us At the door If she didn't think We had her phone Exactly And didn't she say Are you sure Yeah She thought we were Scamming her Which unfortunately Like she thinks that But you know I didn't take her Fucking iPhone No because when she Was giving us the lap dance She even said I lost it While I was giving A lap dance So she told us Did you hear that Charms Well she's wrong Dang And I was like Well fuck it Like I don't know What to tell you Cause I don't see it around Dang Da dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang I don't know what to tell you Cause I don't see it around Dang Da dang So what happens from here Suzy Now that You've kind of Opened the door What are you doing Are you gonna Seek out another Girl to be with Or Or What are you gonna do From here Yeah There's no telling They just Gotta wait But now The seed has been Planted in your brain So So now Now you're gonna be Thinking about it You're gonna be like Hey you know Like maybe I'm really Into chicks And there's nothing Wrong with that That sounds great Sounds like fun He's all fantasizing He's all going In his room Do you enjoy Sex with men Like have you ever He's all closing The curtain right now Have you ever He's all closing The door He's like Have you ever Been having A room goes dark He turns off the light That's another If you've Stuck back On your Sexual experiences With men at this point Are you starting To question whether You know Like you truly Enjoyed your time With men And maybe You know Like you're actually Coming out of the closet At this point Like No Not yet No Not yet Not yet I need like more Well but not yet That leaves the Possibility Interesting Action Oh she's not ready But she will be Maybe more In the future Do you enjoy Sex with men Like do you have A good time Yeah Sometimes It depends on The man Shit There was a long Pause there actually That's interesting I think I did you A favor tonight I think I like Opened this door For you And you're gonna Like embark On this new journey And you're gonna Be a happier person Okay you know what Yeah maybe I will That's good That's good Yeah I hope so Maybe I could find A really good girl Exactly One day Yes Your eyeball In me I'm like Is that a sign Suzy Is that a sign Oh You guys like each other I just figured that out I just figured that out I'm really slow Sorry about that This guy Yeah we're in love With each other That's right Marabal I love you Why don't you guys Kiss each other right now For the listeners For the listeners Are you kidding Go ahead I love you I love you I love you Yes Suzy Harder She's like I don't know how to kiss harder See there's a lot of giggling going on But I see it as a defense mechanism You guys are trying to make light Of the situation Because you know You might be into each other And you know I understand I am the wind In your heart Yeah we're married We're married I don't know We're awful That was funny man Dead air Kitty What's the next subject You want to talk about Are we done On the lesbian front Or Are you sure You guys don't want to Actually You want to know something What I used to The good thing is That they don't know my faces Because I used to work At a Whorehouse Oh yeah Which one In Utah I used to live in Utah In Utah There's some discussion Going on here As to what should be revealed Yes exactly No yeah Because I mean it's true No you gotta talk about it now That's fine You don't have to say the name Of the place or anything No of course not Yeah yeah And they won't Yeah of course So talk about your experience There That was great So you're not born and raised In LA Of course I am Okay But I left What brought you out to Utah For business Okay And after that I couldn't And for fashion What the fuck Fashion's all about Pleasure Oh Oh yeah Fucking pleasure All the way Pleasure I'm just kidding No Touch me Touch me Independence Touch me there I was young at the time I was 19 When I decided to leave California I calif Yeah I califas Holy califas And it took me to a whole new world Did you have to deal with A lot of Mormons And that kind of stuff Yes I thought Differently about Mormons That's kind of hot Let's talk about that No Have Mormons come into Where you were working Yes Of course they did right Did they do Ask for some I had from Lawyers To principals To Mormons Name it I had them come in Yep It made me I literally Thought differently about men In every aspect So It ruined your image for men It kind of It kind of did And it kind of didn't Okay I mean I understand Why they're there Obviously Not everybody's perfect And But most of them What made me sad Was that Maybe like I want to say 85% of them Were married Yeah Suck Dun dun dun Married a man Over for Women who were single So I mean I mean If I was single With a boyfriend I would understand If you went somewhere like that But if I was married to somebody It's like Fuck I want to please him In every fucking aspect So he would not go there That's how I started How did you find out That these men were married Would they tell you About their wives and things Would they have the wedding rings And shit I had a different job Than anybody else in there What was your job I won't describe it And I'm not going to say much Jizzbomber My job was to take Care of the girls Fuck And So I was allowed to talk To every single guy And from there I would have a conversation From there And I would check out Where they were coming from To see what they were doing Some of them would give me Gifts On What Valentine's Day Instead of the girls Wow That was that girl You know Who you wanted I would give them Oh okay So that's the girl I was So they had to take care of you For them to be taken care of Exactly Now Utah Was this place An illegal establishment Because they don't have Legalized prostitution In Utah do they Oh now you're asking Too many questions Oh damn Well I guess we can make Our own assumptions Based on the local laws Of the state If you were to say It was Nevada I wouldn't even ask the question Fuck Nevada But Utah is a little different So that's interesting So I heard there's a place In Koreatown that That's like that Is an establishment That It doesn't mean It's legal though That's the thing No it's definitely not legal Of course it isn't But that they do it Most likely Yeah So! And that's This place I'll be honest It was legal But it wasn't As far as We took it Right right So the The girls There would be Kind of a front Where yeah You come here And And You Get to spend some time With a girl But then the girl On their own Would probably negotiate You know With the guy Hey if you want this Then you're gonna have to Kick in another Whatever And that's how We do it That's the word Like the No No Oh That's awesome Yeah But it It was a good experience For me man I I had the Best time of my life There I met the Most beautiful women That I've met Most of them Have actually Told me that They'd rather do What they do now Than anything else And I'm like I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know Most of them Love their job And But did you know Did you guys know that What is that called? When you pay Somebody to take Like when you wanna When you wanna go out With somebody And you pay them Escort Yes Escorting Escorting is legally Right Yes It's legal in Utah I thought about doing that By the way I don't know I'm scared Most of these girls Were escorts Right Right Right Right Right Right Right Right Right But obviously There's always In the coverage there So did they treat The girls nicely At this place? Like were they Well taken care of? Yeah Yes We took care of them Really well Okay That's good So What do you think It is that That brings a woman Into that lifestyle? Is it out of desperation? Or They just need some money And they think Oh maybe I'm gonna do it Once or twice And then I'm gonna get out of it But then You know It's kind of easy Not mentally But physically You know Like you just gotta Fuck a guy And get money Right? Out of the girls I had I wanna say Maybe 60% of them Loved what they got They loved it Yeah I mean if it took them To go to California And then They got paid 10 G's for it I mean For six days And they got all the clothes They wanted Everything they wanted So it was worth it Yeah It was worth it for them Like by the time They went home They had They would pay Their fucking children's fees You know They would pay Their fucking Whatever Apartment Wherever they stayed at Their house Or family They would pay for it And but They would say They were out In California For a vacation When they were really Getting paid for it So it was really Worth it for them So financially It's worth it But have you ever Seen a woman Just kind of Get caught up in it And that maybe She gets a little Too greedy Here's the thing Is that You know what The only ones That get greedy That I've experienced Were the ones That were like Crackheads and shit Like that Yeah No lie The ones that were Into drugs Were the only ones That got Caught Cause I imagine Like at a certain point Like some of These girls would There's a certain level I'm willing to do this This and this And then some guy Comes along and says I'm gonna give you So much money But you gotta do this And then they start To consider it And they're like Man I just gotta do this And I could get So much money I could get my kids New clothes No it's good There's a difference I mean if you have kids You're not gonna look Like a crackhead But I'm just saying Is there Do the women Eventually start to Kind of Just Do whatever It takes To get the most Amount of money I mean there's some girls That I'm pretty sure They might do Not that I've Experienced it But most of these girls Since they were escorts It's sadly to say it But they were kind of Professionals about it Yeah They knew what They were up to They knew Who was hitting them up They knew what was Going up So they weren't just Going for anybody Or just anything Yeah Your friend's trying to Signal me somehow What's up? Yeah there's more beer In the refrigerator Go for it I love her eyes She's like what? That's cool I appreciate you Telling me that Because to me That's an interesting story I'm always Interested in that lifestyle And how the Women deal with That stuff I wish I could tell you more But Yeah no That's plenty I'd rather not That's plenty It's plenty Very plenty And I wish I could Work in Vegas And maybe one day I will And I would have More stories Yeah so you're Interested in getting Back into it? Honestly I wouldn't mind Because the money Was that good? When my aspect Of the person I was Yes Yeah It was so worth it So you were like A madam Or What is that position? What is that position called? It sounds like What a madam does Like a madam Thank you Takes care of the girls No? Pretty much I guess you could say that Was the owner I was a receptionist Oh okay That's what I was That was the title That's funny I was a receptionist Okay And that's all I was So there's Nothing more to it Cool well thanks For telling me that Yeah of course So what time is it? I don't know 412 I'm gonna get my I'm gonna throw my water Now you're on the radio By yourself So you have 412 huh? I can't wait Until it's 420 I didn't bring my pot With me That's so bad Kitty don't you Have any weed? Mm-mm Mm Maybe I'll take the fifth I'm sending this tape To the cops immediately Oh hell no I would be so sad Okay We'd have to kill germs Yes I would be so mad at you So mad at you I'm not doing that So you don't have to be mad at me Thank you And I hope no cop Is listening to this I'm not doing that No I didn't say no names Nothing so You didn't You didn't incriminate yourself At all You're just telling a story True People do that here all the time That's what it's here for Right? Kitty Tell us a story I don't really have any stories Really? I'm like Now you know I'm a square Square in disguise No you have to have a story Dirty stories Dirty stories Oh like Like I don't know I had sex in the Disneyland bathroom Is that a sexy story? No huh? That's like a dirty story Tell us about How you had sex in the Disney bathroom Tell us It's the one that's near the entrance And it was kind of like Late at night And I was like Hey let's go And we went And that was it We just did it in the stall Like quickie I've done it Oh I know I'm gonna go to hell I kind of did it Kind of like in a church Kind of Like a church museum thing Church museum? Yeah Where? I want to say it was like San Diego or something I did it in a hospital That's exciting Yeah? Yeah while the guy was Inpatient or however you say it Yeah Like he was hooked up to machines and shit How'd you do it? Were you guys naughty? I went on top Cause he was on He was How could you do it on top Without anyone coming in You rode him? Cause they have those curtains Yeah You just pulled a curtain Yeah And you fucked It was a big risk It was a big risk That was the riskiest one But did anybody know? No Another quickie Really? Yeah Wow That's freaking like really hot I almost did it in a hospital again But the person that I was with didn't Didn't want to? Didn't want to I had another chance at hospital sex But it didn't happen Hospital sex? It's like a fantasy thing Hospital sex Let's do it right here While the nurses are watching Baby with a stove Just cause we died really fast Remember that dead baby? Did somebody just say dead baby? No I said Dead babies Dead babies Nobody said dead baby Who said dead baby? Who said dead baby? You're trippin Wow I didn't I couldn't hear you Who would say that? It sounded like dead babies That's scary I don't know what that says Dead babies Oh with hearts Yeah Nice That's still scary Kitty what are you doing? You guys just started talking about it I'm gonna put it on the wall Okay Let's change the subject Okay that's kinda gross Ugh Okay so he's freaking out Yeah Have kids Let me know He's probably freaking out And I totally understand why I love kids I love them I hate children Like the adolescent fun Anyway I love that one Adolescent So who's in love? Ooh who is in love? Yeah who is in love? I don't know Ooh I know who's in love Can we talk about it? Raise your hand Raise your hand Raise your hand Raise three three three three three three three three three three fucking psycho bitch. And I hope he knows. He's totally gonna go check off to all the shit we're talking about. I bet. I mean, we just came out of a strip club. He wanted us to talk about it. We have nothing else to say and now he's going in his room to do what? To touch himself. He's all taking a nap and shit. He's gonna fucking touch himself. I love this girl talk. It's so amazing because it's fucking what we think. What the fuck? It's fucking true. What is he gonna do? Everybody's like mad at us and shit. He's pregnant. I'm like, cheers, we're up. I'm pretty sure if he can, he would suck his own dick. All guys would. I know, I hate how they pretend they wouldn't. Like when I ask them. What do they say, no? Yeah. They say no. Most of them say no. They're so fucking full of shit. Where I know if it was possible for them to suck their own dick. I saw that in a porno. What? A guy sucking his own dick? Mm-hmm. It's a gay porno. Where? I wanna know. It was a gay porno. It was a gay porno theater. Oh, a theater. Shut the fucking fuck up. And he sucked his own dick? You know what else I saw? What? At that porno, gay porno theater. A train, like of seven. Of seven? Shut up. I swear. That's not boring. I would be liking a girl's theater instead of a guy's theater. I don't know if I can go to like a porno theater. You know what was trippy about it? What? There's people that left in the back, like, or like at the back of the screen. I guess people, I don't know this, like I went there with my gay friend. They have sex back there. They meet each other there and you're like, oh, you want to fuck? Yeah, like, let's go fuck and then they'll go fuck and then they'll come back inside. That's fucking disgusting. That's like crazy. Do they use condoms at least? I have no idea. Save sex. Condoms should be free. Because it's disgusting. Condoms should be free. Come on. And plan B should be free. Totally agree with that. Plan B should be free. It is free. It is free. So condoms should be free. No, if you're low income, it's free. Okay, say you have sex today and you don't, you don't have the fucking green card or whatever. Make it fake because it's possible. That's it. That's what I do. What the fuck? Plan B. Plan B should be free. Plan Parenthood. It is free. Dot com. Make up a social and you'll get there free, free, free. Free. That's it. Terms is back. I know how to do it right. Fucking. Professional. Look at him all being all stupid and stupid. What's up? It's half his porn time. Nah, we've been talking about how like. What do you want to talk about? Porno what? You want to talk about porno? We already talked about it. You were gone. You abandoned us again. You have any porno stories? I want to hear it. You just walked out like how you usually go. Porno stories. I jerked off in a peep show. Right now, huh? You did, huh? No, not right now. Yeah, you did. In New York City. You did that for a reason. Why are you all red? And that was to fucking make out by yourself. Sure, it's hot. Why is it hot? I bet you were touching yourself for a little bit. For a little bit, yeah. Okay. While you're peeing, I'm pretty sure you touched yourself. Yep. You got it. You probably jerked it like a little couple more times. A little extra. A little extra. Yeah. Not just to shake off the excess. He said he's donating, so it's okay. It's okay. I got your back. You're donating? Oh, okay. Only smart people could donate. If you ask me. I researched it. Yeah? Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Oh, fuck. They have to have degrees and shit. Degrees and what kind of stuff? Anything. A degree with anything. It doesn't matter. Really? And then they'll buy my eggs or what? I don't think you can get a degree in that shit. You can't get a four-year degree in cross-stitching? I don't think so. It's probably like a month. I don't know. Come on, Germ. Come on, man. I don't know. Probably like nursing. I have a master's in cross-stitching. Yeah, you have to have something. What kind of degree? Computer science? I'm in my PhD for that matter. Is computer science good? You have to be smart as hell because if not, they won't accept your eggs or your sperm. Really? Yeah, really. You got to. So you have to take an IQ test? Yes. And yeah. I got a 138 on an IQ test once. Is that good? You should know you're the one with the 138 fucking IQ. It depends on what they want. What if that's really low? How high? Then that means I'm stupid. Out of 500? No, I think average is 130. Out of what? 130 to 150 or something? 120 to 100? Out of what? What is it? I just want to know that. 137 to 150 is genius level. And you're what? So you're a genius. I was a 138. Oh, so you're a genius? So you're trying to say I was a genius? When I was nine. You're smart as hell. What's your IQ now? I don't believe it. Puss-er. My IQ has gone down considerably because I started smoking pot. But that doesn't matter. Dick. It doesn't, but it just makes me lazy, so I don't cry. It just makes you relaxed. That's what it is. Yeah, really, really relaxed. I just get lazy. Yeah, but it doesn't make you not smart. It just... So I was at a porno shop on 42nd Street in New York City once a long time ago. Yeah. And went in there, and they had those peep show booths where the curtain goes up and you see a girl. That's amazing. And this black chick was in there, and she was fucking herself with a vibrator and stuff. Wow. That's not cute. I would throw up. And I never went in there before, and she's just like, oh, just blow it on the window. Blow what? Blow away the window. She wanted me to jerk off and come on the window. Oh, to the windows. To the wall. Yeah, she fucking would have to do that. Did you do it? Yeah, I did. Oh, shit. Yeah, I came all over the window, and then... And was she like all excited and shit? I don't think she gave a fuck at all. She was just doing her thing. She was fucking nasty? Is that what you're saying? No, she was hot and everything, but she... That's all those... Those chicks are so desensitized to that kind of shit that I don't... She didn't even carry jizz all over the window. I mean, it's different... Exactly. I mean, it's different... I mean, it's different... I mean, it's different... I mean, it's different... I mean, it's different... I mean, it's different... I mean, it's different when you get to touch a girl like we just did at the playpen, but when she's behind a glass window and she just gets to... She has to watch her dudes just beat off all day. That's gotta suck. Yeah, I bet it does. I bet it does. To the glass window, I don't think I would give a fuck. Maybe they want the fucking dick. Like, come on, come at me, like, type of bullshit. Maybe they want that. But then it's all their fantasy. No, not through a glass. Because... Okay, now I know. That's what I'm saying. Nobody's doing it. Maybe they're like fantasizing that they're doing it. And they're like... Probably at first. You guys should find something together. I don't know. At first, but after hours of that... Do that for five hours a day, five days a week. Fuck no. I could have probably only been one. They change girls, though. It's not the same girl. But there's multiple booths. What? All booths. They're booths. Booths. I thought you said boobs. I'm not thinking about boobs. Yes, there's a pair. There are multiple. Hey, that's exactly what that Fred Willard guy was doing over at the Tiki Porno place there in Hollywood. Did you guys hear about that? Fred Willard getting caught? That he got in trouble, right? Yeah. Yeah. But that's exactly what you're supposed to do at those places, so I don't know why he would get in trouble. But it's just because they can, I guess. Because he's a well-known person. Yeah, that's... But if I was in there, they would have been like, fucking go ahead and blow it all over the place, man. Who cares? Blow a load, man. It's how it is. It's funny. All right, so are you guys getting tired? No. No? It's that fucked up. I... I'm not. I'm fine. I'm fine. What kind of music should I play? I love this music right here. I like Rocksteady. I like some Rocksteady. I don't know what Rocksteady is. Especially at this time of day, I'm pretty sure everyone's loving it too. Just smoke a little bowl. Okay. It sucks that we don't have a bowl. It's over at my house. Let's go there, then. Okay, let's go there. I think it's like two doors down. I know, what the hell? And then we can come back and keep talking with these people. Is that far? I want to go back and see what's coming today. I want to go back and see what's coming today. I want to go back and see what's coming today. I'm talking with these people. Why don't you give out the phone number in case anybody's listening? Go ahead. Right there it is. Look. Look, right there above you. It's 1-800-893-9562. All right. Everybody just call up. Call it. Talk about shitty shit. Show me your titties. Chichis. We like chichis. It's all cool. We love chichis. And none of us do. So if you're a girl or a man, just show them to me. No, really. We wanted some stuff to talk about. So go ahead and call us and we'll be here. All right. Well, we're going to run to my house and smoke a ball and then we'll come back. Yeah. I'm hoping to find calls because I really want to have a conversation with Stone. It's much more fun. Hell yeah, it is. Go ahead and give us a call if anybody's awake. All right. Okay. All right. All right. All right.