Gun control debate, Oscar predictions, douche of the week

welcome to the weekly wrap up with ken august we will get you caught up on the week's biggest stories the least depressing way possible like us on facebook follow us on twitter at weekly rap you can listen to our rebroadcast sundays 10 p.m eastern on extreme xm 165 or listen live every sunday 7 p.m eastern at skid row studios.com make sure you get every episode by subscribing free to the weekly wrap up at the itunes store free free i said yeah you don't get a lot of that the weekly wrap up free that is fantastic uh before we uh get started i am your host ken august last week we had sal rodriguez on here and we ran out of time before uh he got to tell everyone to listen to the very funny his and chrissy's very funny show registered ear offenders also on extreme xm 165 sundays 5 p.m eastern sal i apologize usually i don't listen to you but i give you time to talk i apologize uh i am joined today by the very funny and occasionally uh hopefully still alive jeff hendrick how are you buddy god uh death warmed over but i'm i would not miss the show i i want my trooper button yeah you definitely get one badass merit you earn your wings today and we are joined today also by uh the host of angry dorks ron swallow how are you i'm good how are you guys doing good very good very good we got a lot uh a lot going on today coming up on the show the president begins setting up his new cabinet can you complain that the black guy is nominating too many white guys you can if you're a woman uh plus banking giant hsbc has avoided prosecution by agreeing to pay 1.92 billion dollars begging the question what the hell did you do where you're happy to pay a lot of money to the black guy and he's not going to pay almost two billion dollars just to make it go away we'll answer that question the oscar nominations just were announced lincoln has the most including daniel day lewis for best actor from what i understand about daniel day lewis one of you guys right now could be daniel day lewis and i would not know it and lance armstrong is going on oprah this week he's expected to finally come clean about not being clean but first there's been another school shooting this one in a california high school where a 16 year old is in stable condition after being shot by a fellow student a shooter then missed another student before being talked into dropping his weapon by a teacher the teacher is being held as a hero although the nra still wishes she would have shot him listen to this from headline news at about nine o'clock this morning 9-1-1 calls started coming in of shots possibly shots fired at taft high school there was a an active shooter that didn't show up for school this morning for the first period he then interrupted the class halfway through it armed with a shotgun he fired the first round striking another student who was shooting a student that student is at the hospital a 16 year old who is in critical condition he then tried to engage a second student that he named and tried to shoot him and missed the teacher at that point was trying to get the students out of the classroom and engage the shooter who had numerous rounds of shotgun shells a campus supervisor showed up was outside the classroom and together they engaged in conversation with this with this young man and at one point he was shot down and the police officers were able to take him into custody this is becoming way too common of a topic but right away first of all this happened in texas that kid probably would have gotten one week suspension and a b-minus for missing his second target but you know what uh that's actually interesting thing about texas you know uh you know each state has different laws they they like they like fines and stuff based upon whatever crime you do like for instance in um in in here if you litter in california it's like a hundred dollar fine but in texas it's a two thousand dollar fine but the difference is in texas if you kill a black guy they just give you a slap on the wrist i'm just kidding they don't do they don't do anything right but if but if you leave his body on the side of the road that's two grand yeah exactly all right that is uh yeah that is that is good state politics that's good state laws that's good to know um this kid went in he didn't show up to class 16 year old unconfirmed report that he had a kill list he was kicked out of school last year for having a list of people he wanted to kill that has not been confirmed but it has been rumored they let him back into school this year and then he went in late didn't show up to class and then showed up late to class walked in shot somebody and called out for the second person but missed him and see and there's and therein is the problem you mean you can make the argument about the guns but nobody questioned this kid had a kill list and they're like no come come come back to school sure no i guess if the president has a kill list why couldn't this kid have a kill list fair enough fair enough that's a valid that's a valid point well that's not that valid but it's a point that's uh i mean here's the thing is there's crazy kids and i mean you know the nra had brought up everything but guns as far as problem and and one of it is one of those things is mental health and it is a real problem there's no doubt there's there is no doubt but to talk about all the different things that may cause somebody to do something like this but refuse to talk about the weapon that allowed him to do something like this is ridiculous and on top of that guns don't kill people they don't they don't no bullets kill people but the gun if i can paraphrase jake johansson makes the bullet go really fast that's true and on top of that uh somebody trained that kid how to use a shotgun do you have you ever have you guys ever shot guns at all yeah yes how easy is it to shoot a shotgun if you if you don't do it right it'll kick your ass yeah so somebody trained that kid that 16 year old kid on how to shoot a shotgun well in theory i don't know if you've ever shot a shotgun but i don't know if you've ever shot a shotgun according to the nra once you're trained how to use the gun you're one of the good guys is that not true yeah yeah and if the gun has gotten legally of course if the gun has gotten legally by your parents like the kid in newtown and then you just take it from your parents um i mean i i don't know how you can argue that if there's less guns around it makes it a little harder to actually get the gun and do something it won't i mean and they like to point out well it wouldn't stop this or it wouldn't stop that you're like yes you may be right it would not have stopped it but it might you know the idea that well drug dealers you know that drugs are illegal and people get them you say well that so we shouldn't outlaw anything you know just have everything willy-nilly it's called anarchy i mean let me let me be clear all you guys who are in power when there's anarchy not going to be in power for very much longer yeah yeah because because now that you're not in charge of people who have the guns and other people have the guns they will just kill you yes but i don't even think it's a power thing it's a money thing i mean it's the people in congress some of them believe it and other ones just want to make sure that they don't piss off the guns and they don't piss off the guns because they don't believe it because they don't believe it because they don't believe it because they don't the people who want guns who are voting for them. I mean, half the Democrats, or at least half the, less than half the politicians, I should say, because some Democrats still have gun-loving constituents, but half of the people, a little less than half the people in Washington want some kind of gun control, at least that amount. Never mind Washington, what Washington wants. We as a country are better than 65%, 70% pro let's do something. Yeah. Some regulation, my God. Because when we had the assault weapons ban in place, the mass shootings in this country dropped severely. Yeah. Well, and somebody made a great idea I saw on Facebook. I can't remember. It might have been my friend Ben Dukes, and I don't agree with him on almost anything, but one of the things he talked about was, and I thought it was an interesting idea, how about tax the fuck out of bullets and guns? I mean, crazy tax. We're talking 100 to 200%. We're talking 100% tax to get a gun. So if the gun cost you $60, the tax on that gun is $120. Well, here's the problem with that. Although Chris Rock, I believe, said something in one of his routines about the bullets. You're like, wow, they put $14,000 worth of bullets in this guy's ass. But problem is, is now you're saying you're okay to be crazy and dangerous as long as you're rich enough. That's a good point, too. That is. Isn't that on the American, isn't that on the quarter? Isn't that on auto? That is a problem. That's a good point. I just, you know, it's just like, because, I mean, I don't, I've never had a gun and don't want a gun. Let's be clear on that. I don't really care. I'm not going to shoot anybody. If I have to fight a person, I'll fight a person. And if someone feels like shooting me, well, then it looks like I'm going to die. Because that's how it's going to happen. Because I don't want to fucking, I don't want to shoot anybody. It's just not. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Move on. We know you don't want to shoot anyone. Yeah, but I feel like, I feel like, I don't feel like those guys, I don't feel like we should have a bunch of guns lying around. And here's their defense. They're always, these defenses, well, the government, the government could come and try to take over us. Yeah, is that, is that not ironic that a lot of these people are very adamant that it is their right as an American to have guns so they can someday fight the American government? Is that not, is that not a little ironic? I have news for you. You're going to lose. Yeah, you're, if you've got a shotgun and an AR-15 and they send an A-10 Warthog with a bunker buster and they drop one on your double wide, you're done, son. On your double wide. Enjoy that. Enjoy that. Enjoy that. Yeah. Well, and, actually, McChrystal, former General McChrystal, also had said, I have his quote in here somewhere. A general, he might know something about guns, right? Retired General Stanley McChrystal, former commander of the U.S. forces in Afghanistan, said weapons should be, certain weapons should only be carried by soldiers, not civilians. Quote, I personally don't think there's any need for that kind of weaponry on the streets and particularly around the schools in America. He goes on, but he's pretty, pretty clear. I think serious action is necessary. Sometimes we talk about very limited actions on the edges. I don't think that's enough. Yeah, he may know something about guns. A judge has also ruled that James Holmes, the man accused of the Colorado theater shooting, should stand trial for charges of killing 12 people and injuring almost 60 others. A day later, the judge also granted the defense motion to delay the arraignment by two months. I mean, you would think after a rash of high-profile shootings, both sides would start talking about ways to limit gun violence. Here is Piers Morgan, who I believe in this country is still mostly known as, hey, that's not Larry King. Here's Morgan on CNN talking to, right-wing talk show host Alex Jones. Anyone who's watched this show over the past few weeks knows I've taken a pretty strong stand on guns in America. And it's led to a petition on the White House official website, no less, it's entitled, I quote, deport British citizen Piers Morgan for attacking Second Amendment. Take a look, more than 104,000 people have signed it so far. And joining me now is one of the people behind the petition, Alex Jones, he's host of the Alex Jones Show. The Second Amendment isn't there for duck hunting. It's there to protect us. It's there to protect us from tyrannical government and street thugs. Those men raped that woman in India to death with an iron rod four feet long. You can't ban the iron rods. The guns, the iron rods, Piers, didn't do it. The tyrants did it. Hitler took the guns. Stalin took the guns. Mao took the guns. Fidel Castro took the guns. Hugo Chavez took the guns. And I'm here to tell you, 1776 will commence again if you try to take our firearms. Ow! Yeah, that's a good rational conversation right there. Yeah. I got two words for you. Gun nut. Yeah. Oh, and on top of that, if you yell really loud, everyone will get your point! Work for Sam Kinison. Fortunately, Joe Biden showed in his debate that he's not afraid to interrupt people. So the president put him in charge of a task force on gun violence. This is from abcnews.com. The White House ready to take action on gun violence 27 days after the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. Vice President Biden squared off with the powerful NRA today, getting ready for a big announcement next week. ABC's chief White House correspondent, Jonathan Karl, now tells us what happened. On the day Vice President Biden met with the National Rifle Association, he made it clear he is pushing for the biggest expansion of gun control in two decades. Biden's proposals will likely include mandatory background checks on virtually every gun sale, and a ban on semi-automatic weapons and those ammo clips that hold dozens of bullets. That will pit him squarely against the industry. The NRA. How powerful is the NRA? Well, remember, they give grades to members of Congress. And how many got an A for sticking with them and opposing all gun control? 288 members, the overwhelming majority of Congress. That is why, Ron, I was saying earlier, I don't think it's as much about just people in power, as opposed to, say, in some Middle East countries, where they want to make sure they have the weaponry so they can keep themselves in power. This is more of a keep yourself in power by way of the vote, and they don't want to piss off people that listen to the NRA. And there are a lot of people that listen to the NRA. I'm not saying it's not ridiculous. But the regulations that are being proposed aren't draconian. No. They're not crazy. No. And I got news for you. If you need a 30-clip magazine in your AR-15 to go hunt deer, you suck as a hunter. Yeah, you're terrible at it. You're terrible. They should arm the deer if that's the case. Yeah, my stepdad, Kim, I call him, he's like a burly mountain man. He hunts with a bow and arrow. That's burly. That's nice. You want to hunt with a bow and arrow, go for it. I mean, he has a gun, but that's because he lives in the middle of the mountains in Northern California where there are bears and bobcats, and he scares them off. He killed an ox by stranglehold. He probably could, dude. Now, this story I found funny along these lines. Two men walked down a Portland street, Portland, Oregon, armed with assault rifles, told police they were exercising their Second Amendment rights and hoping to educate the public on gun rights. These two men are still alive, so obviously you can assume they are white. However, their logic was, I'm, quote, exercising my right with a rifle to try to decrease the demonizing of peacefully exercising your rights in public. And they said they were hoping that people would come talk to them about it instead of calling the cops. And this is how out of touch some of these people are with their guns. You don't go approach somebody with a semi-automatic weapon, and find out if they're crazy. Because if they are, you're dead. As soon as you get within whatever shooting distance that gun is relatively accurate with. Hi, sir, were you looking to kill somebody? Oh, you were. I would like a do-over. Mulligan! Exactly. Exactly. And I am the master of using a lot of mulligans. And I gotta tell you, every time I'm out in public and I'm looking to socialize, the first thing I look for is the guy with the gun. First thing I'm looking for. Who? The person here can end my life in a hurry. I want to party with you, cowboy. That's a great, great Stripes reference. All right, this is the Weekly Wrap-Up with Ken August. You're listening to Extreme XM 165 in collaboration with Skid Row Studios. You can also get every episode of the Weekly Wrap-Up on iTunes for free at the iTunes Store. It seems President Obama recently went to Costco and bought a large bag of white guys to fill his cabinet. This is from Newsy and CNN. It's been rumored for weeks, but President Obama made it official Monday, nominating former Senator Chuck Hagel to lead the Pentagon. The president also put forward John Brennan, a longtime counterterrorism advisor, as his choice to head up the CIA. That's a selection that will likely face much less opposition than Hagel's nomination to replace Leon Panetta as defense secretary. Although he's a former Republican lawmaker and a Vietnam veteran, several GOP lawmakers have promised a fierce confirmation fight in the Senate. Chuck Hagel, if confirmed to be Secretary of Defense, would be the most antagonistic Secretary of Defense toward the state of Israel in our nation's history. This is an in-your-face nomination by the president. That criticism stems from Hagel's previous support for opening up negotiations with Iran and from a comment he made that pro-Israel lobbies have too much influence in Washington. As for Brennan, Obama had originally considered him for the CIA's top post in 2009, but accusations that Brennan had a hand in brutal interrogation tactics under the Bush administration took his name out of consideration. I like that part. He was up for it four years ago, but for reasons about, you know, reasons related to... Torture? Yeah. He was no longer considered, but four years later, he's all right. He hasn't tortured anybody in four years. Yeah. Well, that is true. That is very true. I don't know... Go ahead, Ron. I don't know too much about this guy, but... Which one? CIA? Brennan? Yeah, the... Okay. The torturer? Yes. Yeah, John Brennan. Or the guy who allowed torture. I assume he wasn't doing the torturing himself. No. That happens in the movies. Yeah, generally. The guys who are in power let some other person who has less empathy do that. And I feel like... I feel like if there was a guy who was ever in charge of a situation that allowed that to happen, that it feels a little bit weird that you let the guy work at all. I mean, and, you know, it's hard to criticize Obama because I voted for him and I support him for the most part, but that's a terrible... Like, you shouldn't have guys who are torturers in charge of anything. And he's also a big drone fan, too. He's a huge proponent of drone strikes. Those are the two factors that are basically... The two guys out of those nominations, out of White Fest that Obama has, the two guys that are raising the most eyebrows are Chuck Hagel for Secretary of Defense and John Brennan for CIA director. So let's deal... You guys brought up CIA director first. Yeah, but Hagel, I actually think is a good choice. We'll get to him. I mean, the first one, the first one will go with Brennan. Like we said, four years ago, basically the big concerns are with Jeff, what you brought up, which is he was a big proponent of the drone program. Okay, now can I ask you guys, I don't know too much about the drone. My understanding is part of it is it's just like remote control bombing the fuck out of people, but then there's also spying, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So why are we against that? Okay, well, here's the thing is, in theory, I'm not fully against it. When you see like a headline that says, you know, main Pakistani militant responsible for X amount of American deaths, was blown up, I go, awesome. But let me ask you this. If any other country had a remote control, anything flying over our country and shooting people, and they said, well, yeah, but this person was bad. Conniption. Yeah, how good would you be with that? That's a good point. We would flip the fuck out. Right. So a couple of- Since we're the guys in power, and if you think of America as the good guy, sure, but we're not always a good guy. Well, certainly not. Yeah, well, sometimes we are. Like I said, I don't have a problem with a lot of the people that, or if not all the people that they use the drone on. The problem is, is, you know, you don't find out that you had a problem with it unless something gets leaked. Yeah. Right. And then, you know- And there's casual- Exactly. I mean, there's collateral damage. Collateral damage, thank you. There's innocent civilians. I mean, you can't tell a hellfire missile, just that guy in the turban. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to blow up that building, but make sure it's apartment 7C. Right. Yeah, no, that is hard to do. ACLU, CAIR, Credo, Demand Progress, they are all urging the Senate to reject Brennan's confirmation. They call him the assassinator. Assassination czar. The spokesman for the- Wow. Sketchy. Yeah. Hey, well, you know, it's good. It fits on a business card. You know that assassination has the word ass in it twice? That is quite an observation. That is quite an observation. Yeah, you were in an ass that you ate twice. That is spelling, Ron. That is where the big bucks are. That's gross. Yeah. I'm looking for the quote here where they said, they referred to him as the assassination czar and said, how is that going to look when America, a leading democracy, confirms assassination czar John Brennan to head the CIA? Okay, well, that's a fair question. That is a fair question, but you know what else it's going to look like? Don't fuck with us. We will assassinate you. You know what? It looked like that when the last Bush got in office. How'd that work out for us? Not very good. Not very good. The other guy that raises issues is Chuck Hagel, which cracked me up that the Republicans are saying this is an in-your-face, an Obama in-your-face nomination, yet he's a Republican. Lindsey Graham hit on Chuck Hagel, 15 years ago, at a D.C. party, and Chuck told him to go, you know what, himself, and Lindsey has never forgiven him. That's a rumor that I'm making up right now. I like it. I like that. I was going to confirm that that is certainly not confirmable, but a great story. So Chuck Hagel is, you know, he's pissed off a couple people, one for anti-gay comments, which we'll get to, and one 14 years ago, I believe. Yeah. And another one referring to basically Israel as the Jewish lobby, the pro-Israel lobby, and saying that they have too much power. I don't really, well, I don't agree with him on the gay issue, but a Republican 15 years ago, that's what they're going to say. I will give the guy the benefit of the doubt of being able to evolve. He apologized, even though I don't buy the apology because he apologized once this came up 14 years later and not to the guy he did it to, but still, what am I never going to let the guy work? I would have a problem because the biggest hate-on I have is for bigotry and racism. Like, there's nothing I get angry, or about, if I was the Hulk, every time someone was racist or bigoted, I'd probably break them. And I don't care if every racist or bigot on the planet stops working. Honestly, if they don't have jobs and they can't procreate and make more babies, maybe we would have a world where people can be themselves. I'm very happy you keep your special powers well hidden. Yeah. That's nice. I want to hug you right now. That's a really lovely, really nice sentiment, Ron. The part about him being the Hulk and destroying people, or the reason behind it? Destroying bigotics. Destroying bigotry. You're not destroying people, you're destroying pieces of shit. Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. It'd be hard to argue with that. All right, so here's some of Chuck Hagel's probable new Secretary of Defense. Here's some of his thoughts on some key factors that he'll have to deal with. On Israel, the United States will remain committed to defending Israel. Our relationship with Israel is a special and historic one, but it need not and cannot be at the expense of our Arab and Muslim nations. That is an irresponsible and dangerous false choice. Okay. Fair enough. Everybody's got a play in the sandbox, brother. Yeah. Two options, attack Iran or live with a nuclear-armed Iran. May be eventually where we are, but I believe most people in Israel and the U.S. think there's a way to go before that. That was said in 2012. So he doesn't feel that they're that close, apparently, to getting the bomb. I would prefer no more wars for the next couple of years. I would too, but... I'm okay. Okay, and fair enough. I would too, but let me ask you, would you prefer, and it sounds like he doesn't believe that they're that close to getting it yet. Let's say you were pretty sure Iran was within the year going to get a nuclear bomb, and we cannot stop, and we cannot talk them out of doing it. Would you be fine with a military strike? No. I would. I don't know. It's hard for me because I abhor violence. Well, they don't have a rocket program. So, you know, they're going to have a bomb, and what, are they going to strap it on the back of a camel walking on over the border? You know what? Or a car. Sure. All right. Here's the thing. Or a boat. I don't care if they deliver it by camel. If it's going to blow shit up, I don't want it. I don't want it. And how far away would they be from getting a rocket program? I mean, that's the question, and that's the argument. And ask Russia or China. Yeah, that's the argument. Some people, some people, more hawkish people say they're very close. Right. And less hawkish people, and Chuck Hagel being one of them, he's a Vietnam vet, and he is big on, he is big on, I'm not looking to go to war unless I have to go to war. He says himself, That's a good thing. I don't, he said himself, look, I have no problems going to war if we have to, but everything else should be exhausted first. Yeah, this guy's a two-time Purple Heart Award winner, and that's not like some Publix or Clearinghouse thing. You've got to get your ass shot twice in a war. And I think anybody who's had gotten their ass shot twice in a war. And probably defending someone. Defending someone, exactly. And it's about time. We had a former enlisted man, a guy who was actually in the Army, running the Defense Department. Yeah. It's never happened. Okay, and then his last issue, yeah, that is a valid point. And his last issue, the big issue for him, or one of them, was the gay comment that he made, or the anti-gay comment he made. Mistake of face criticism for remarks he made as a senator that an openly gay man nominated for a diplomatic post should not represent the United States, but he recently issued an apology. His apology goes like this. My comments 14 years ago in 1998 were insensitive. They do not reflect my views or the totality of my public record, and I apologize to Ambassador Hormel and any LGBT Americans who may question my commitment to their civil rights. I am fully supportive of open service and committed to LGBT military families. All right. All right. You know what? You can't, all you can do is take him at his word, and let's be honest, if gays are now allowed to openly serve in the military, he's not going to be able to change that anyway. Yeah. Well, and let me say this as well. If you, I mean, if you were to say something like, I apologize, like that, and then show your full support, I don't have, I'm just going to stop having a problem with you. And, and people can change their mind. God forbid. It really does happen. Do either one of you guys have a problem with, with everybody complaining that it's just a bunch of old white men? You do realize, you do realize, however, that the guy who's picking them is not an old white man. Yeah, exactly. It's hard to throw the Trump card on that one. Yeah, the guy picking it ain't an old white guy. And I assume he's picking, I'm assuming he's picking the guys he thinks are best for the job. And he went originally with Susan Rice, and they showed up and he put a bunch of shit all over that idea. So he couldn't go with her. Good God, did they have a conniption about that? She covered, she covered black and woman. He couldn't get Sammy Davis in black and Jew. He couldn't get that. So, you know what? Too soon, babe. Too soon. Here's the thing is, I don't have a problem with it. I can understand it being, I can understand it being pointed out. But here's the thing is, if you have, if you're like this person and this person, I would take either one of them and you have one that is maybe in a demographic that somebody else isn't, okay, fine. I'm fine with that being the deciding factor. But do not, for one second, not go with who you would like to go with because he's not woman enough or colored enough or white enough or whatever. Evidently, he had Marsha Warfield as a first pick for She Declined. Night court reference. That's fine. He's going to choose powder. Also this week, the US has announced a slightly accelerated plan to withdraw from Afghanistan. The US is planning on being in a support role by spring. Seems like a good idea considering we don't want to be there and they don't really want us there. Yeah. Any thoughts on that? 11 years too late. Well, he wasn't there then, but yes. Yeah. I mean, he didn't do it immediately either. In other news, mega bank HSBC has been caught knowingly laundering money that funded narcotics traffickers and possible terrorist groups. Nobody will be prosecuted, however, because they're all very, very rich. This is from The Daily Conversation. HSBC, the world's third largest bank and its sixth largest company, has agreed to pay a record $1.92 billion settlement after US investigators found that it spent years committing serious crimes involving money laundering for Mexican drug cartels, moving tainted money for Saudi banks tied to terrorist groups, and moving money for nations like Iran. Those investigations even uncovered substantial evidence that senior bank officials were complicit in the illegal activity. No one was arrested. No one's going to prison, even though there are specific people who clearly broke the law. The defenders of the government's decision will say the move was necessary because HSBC was essentially too big to criminally prosecute, that the fragile world banking system could be destabilized if one of the world's largest banks was jeopardized by a public trial. By the way, that guy must have been on Valium because I was outraged when I was reading the story and that guy was the calmest man ever telling me about how HSBC, I mean, and the thing is, and the flames ate all the children. That's what I'm saying, just the calmest man ever. I'm like, let's, let's, and let's, let's just, let's just little this down. Okay, we meet a guy. He's got $50,000 in the bank. Let's say he's got $50,000 in the bank. He uses for that $50,000 to give to drug dealers and to give to people we know have been involved with terrorists. What do you do to him? He's going to jail. Yeah. Jail? He's in Gitmo by the end of the day. Yeah. Well, if he's black, he's shot. Yeah. So, so we have to treat those people the same way and it shouldn't matter. Somebody else is going to take over the bank. Well, and yeah, and let's, and the bank's not going to stop, like, existing. There's going to be some other people who didn't know about what was going on under them that will just take over the bank. Well, first, I don't know anybody that's taken over that bank knew what was going on. So, I don't think there's somebody, you know, one level below who's like, oh, I didn't know this shit was going on because what it was saying specifically, although I agree with your thought because here's the thing is normally a simplified, you know, example like that, you'd say, oh, yeah, but that's a little simplified. Here's the problem is in this investigation, they found out that some of the higher ups were specifically hands-on showing how to launder the money. Beyond knowing what to do, like, oh, yeah, no, here's what you do. Yeah, you're not doing this illegally correctly. Let me show you how to do this. Yeah. And they hands-on showed them how to do that and yet, they're scared, regulators are scared that if they sue those people, it'll be a huge hit on this bank and that'll hurt the financial, you know, the world economy. So what, 1.92 billion isn't a huge hit? You know what, you say that, but no, 1.92 billion 1.92 billion dollars is half a quarter's profit for them. Ooh. Half a quarter's profit and these people somehow feel that they're not, you know, that maybe they're not getting a good deal, which is outrageous. I mean, it is outrageous to me that these people. Can I tell you how much that infuriates me because I've been surviving on about $15,000 a year for, I don't know, my whole life and when I hear guys who have made that much money doing nothing and fucking people over saying, sorry about the cussing, it makes me want to fight them. Like, I want to turn into the Hulk again and start smashing people. Like, it's, and you know that these dudes are the same dudes who are like, I don't want to pay more taxes. Somebody give me some gamma rays for Ron immediately. Well, you know who does like HSBC? AIG does. HSBC is the company AIG likes to stand next to at a party to make themselves look better. Listen to this from RT America. We're leading global insurance company based right here in America. We're now leaner and focused on what we do best. We've repaid every dollar America lent us. Everything plus a profit of more than $22 billion for the American people. AIG, we turned it around. Thank you, America. Thank you, America. Insurance giant AIG, which got $182 billion bailout by you, the taxpayer, by way of the U.S. government during the financial crisis, was considering a proposal to sue the government for charging too high interest rates and therefore giving its shareholders less money than they thought they deserved. Now, AIG did just announce that it would not, in fact, join its shareholders in suing the government, largely because of the backlash the company was facing. The backlash. Turns out, they felt that people don't like assholes. Well, maybe some gay people like assholes, I guess, but that's not what I meant. I meant they don't like if you're going to be a huge asshole, so they turn around and go, you know what, maybe they wouldn't be happy if we sued them for bailing us out at a higher rate than we would have liked. I think it would have been nice if they had decided to sue us and we turn around and nationalized AIG. You just walk in the front door with the marshal service, you look at the top of the board and you go, you pieces of shit, all in handcuffs, thank you very much, everybody else keeps your job, and we now own you. Good night. Yeah. Good night, everybody. That should have happened day one when AIG first went, uh, yeah, we lost a bunch of money from everybody. It is amazing. I mean, for anyone who doesn't know exactly what happened, AIG, who was one of the biggest bailout recipients, uh, by the, you know, by the U.S. government during the financial crisis, has now turned around, actually, their former, their former leader who is no longer with them, Hank, Maurice Greenberg, goes by Hank, I don't know where you get that from, but, again, I go by Gus. Because he's a pinchable. Um, but, uh, so he is suing with his new group, he is suing who was an AIG shareholder at one point. They are suing the government claiming that they didn't get a great interest rate. Uh, you know, which, which bails you out. You, what, you're gonna go, you know, I don't like the color of the life preserver you're throwing me. Do you have one in chartreuse? Or you could have just said, no, you know what, we'll, we'll figure it out ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that is amazing. That was your option. That is amazing to me. And I mean, here's the thing is, they're an insurance group. They're, they're a group, this big banking group that basically says, hey, you know what, you're somewhat of a risk, so we're going to give you a slightly higher percentage. Well, considering this group just, you know, played a large role in almost wiping out the whole American economy, that seems fair enough to go, hey, you guys are a little bit of a risk. Yeah. Can we also say that, uh, insurance companies are the soulless pieces of shit in the company world that exists, as far as I'm concerned? Yes. Yes, we can. You want to turn green and go in there, don't you? Seriously, uh, I, I know people from New Orleans who had, who had, when they bought houses, and this is, we're talking 10 years ago, when they bought their houses, they had asked insurance companies for flood insurance. And you want to know what those companies said? Eh, you don't need it. Oh, you can't get flood insurance. You can't get flood insurance because it floods here. And they're like, yeah, we know that's why we want flood insurance. And they're like, oh no, no, you can't get that because it floods here. Yeah. Fire insurance in, in places where you can, where it, you know, there might be fire. No, no, can't get that because they're about making money. They're not about helping people. No, no insurance company, health or otherwise is ever trying to help the customer. No, that's what I was going to say. And that's, they deny claims when people have cancer. I mean, these people are scumbags. No, this is, yeah, that all ties in with the medical industry, which is to me, it doesn't, it's, it's a contradiction. Yeah. It is a contradiction in, in the whole logic to make them a profit making, uh, ordeal. I heard on NPR, uh, a couple of days ago, that we here in the United States are less likely to live to the age of 50 than any other industrialized nation on the earth. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. We have the worst health, the worst infant mortality rate. Hold on. Not if you're rich. Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. That is, this is the greatest country in the world if you're the 1% because you can afford all the cool shit. Hold on. Hold on. Yes. You can say 4%. That, yeah, I don't know if that's accurate though, but yes. Um, all right, we're, let's, let's move on a little in the entertainment. Good news. Somebody wake up the woman in the bad Joan Rivers mask and let her know it's almost time to rag on our celebrities again. Good morning. Uh, I'm Seth McFarlane, the host of the Oscars. Uh, if you don't know who I am, just pretend I'm Donny Osmond. You'll be fine. We'll get through this, but I want to congratulate today's nominees and also to congratulate those who weren't nominated. You can stop doing interviews where you pretend that you had such a great time making the movie. Seth McFarlane. I'm interested to see how he ends up doing. Uh, you are listening to the Weekly Roundup. We wrap up with Ken August on Extreme XM, channel 165. And you can always catch us live every Sunday, four o'clock Pacific time at our home at skidrowstudios.com. Subscribe free at the iTunes store to make sure you get every episode. So 12 hours after being snubbed in the Best Director category for his movie Argo, Ben Affleck, uh, won that, won that same honor at the Critics' Choice Awards. This is from Telegraph TV. And the Critics' Choice for Best Picture is Argo. Argo. And the Critics' Choice for Best Director is Ben Affleck, for Argo. I would like to thank the Academy. Get it? Jokes. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. This is, this is the one that counts. It's a good shot. Good shot at the Academy. Um, first of all, does a movie being nominated for an Academy Award increase either one of your chances of seeing the movie? Nope. No. I mean, on a rare occasion, I would assume, if it's something that someone's like, well, I'll see this or this, well, this is supposed to be really good. But for the most part, no, there's certain movies I will go see that I know the critics are going to shit all over. Um, but, and I apologize for making people see. Battlefield Los Angeles comes to mind? I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that still. There's two movies that are just between that and then, uh, and Super 8. But now, Battlefield Los Angeles I knew was going to be, you know, questionable. Yeah. So wait, you didn't like Super 8? Super 8, I was extremely disappointed in. I had okay time with it. Oh, my, that to me was, uh, it was like watching a bad episode of The Wonder Years with an alien in the background. That's what that was. That is pretty funny. I did not need it. Um, the Golden Globes are also tonight, there's just, there's too many award shows. I don't, I don't care about that many award shows. Well, actually, I think it's a good thing to have that many award shows because at some point, we're going to get one. Oh, that would be nice. Yeah. That would be nice. I would like them to have a stand-up, like more stand-up comedy awards, but that, there's only like one. Is there one? What's it called? I think it's actually called the Comedy Awards. That's pretty subtle. And it's, and it's also just, but it's not just stand-up. Right. I mean, stand-ups involved, you know, they were honored George Carlin, they've honored, you know, Richard Pryor and stuff like that, but. I'm going to write you in as a write-in vote. Yeah, yeah, because, you know, I do so much. Okay, so we got, we got Oscar nominees. We got, Best Picture gets more nominees than all the other ones. Amour, Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, which came out of nowhere, and I believe was made for like less than $2 million, which in this town is a tiny budget. Django Unchained is, is, Tarantino's movie is up for Best Picture. Les Miserables, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, and Zero Dark Thirty. I would assume, I mean, right now you hear a lot of talk between Zero Dark Thirty and, and Lincoln. Any, any predictions? Any predictions, gentlemen? I think they're gonna come out with a movie that combines those two. Zero Dark Lincoln. Well, I saw, Team Hunting, John Wilkes Booth. I saw Lincoln Vampire Hunter, and I gotta tell ya. Turd. Good times. No, it was terrible. I actually read the book, and the book was fantastic. That's what I heard. The book is amazing. And then, and the movie, or like, they changed a bunch of stuff. As always, they changed a bunch of stuff that was unnecessary. They added in things, and it's just, and the movie was, it was tongue-in-cheek. The book was like, I mean, you know, it was funny. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm gonna say Lincoln's gonna win. You think? I mean, Lincoln has been, has gotten nothing but great word of mouth. The performances have supposedly been fantastic. I would think, I would lean towards Lincoln, I would originally have leaned towards Zero Dark Thirty, but I think the idea that they, they did not give Catherine Bigelow Best Director nominee, I think maybe is showing that they are not all that happy with the fact that some people feel her movie may be promoting torture. Wait, was, was Big Mama's House? Big Mama's House. Snubbed. Yeah. Big Mama's House 47? I believe that was snubbed. Bullshit. I'm out of here. I am very disappointed that Quentin Tarantino was not nominated for Best Director because I would have loved to have seen him win Best Director so I could see how many times he worked the N-word into his acceptance. Yeah, I'm assuming that was you were either having a seizure? That was my weird, that was my weird imitation of I'm telling you, yeah, I didn't know. Yeah, yeah. He's getting ready to call a doctor. I wanted to see how many times he was going to squeeze the N-word into his acceptance speech. 47. Yeah, that is, that is quite possible. Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, Beasts of Southern Wild and Amour, the directors of all those films were nominated. Also, hard to not lean towards Spielberg or Ang Lee for Life of Pi is also getting a lot. I love Ang Lee. You really? You're a big Ang Lee fan? Except for the, didn't he do Mission Impossible 2? That's possible. No. He did say he did one of them, didn't he? Did he? Yeah, it was terrible. Bradley Cooper, Daniel Day-Lewis, Hugh Jackman, Joaquin Phoenix, and Denzel Washington in lead actor category. Anybody? I got, I heard Denzel was fantastic in Flight. I have not yet seen it. Yeah, I heard he was actually like painfully good. Like those, that's like real alcoholic angst. I mean, it's just gritty. Say them the other ones again. Denzel, Joaquin Phoenix, Hugh Jackman, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook. I still think it's going to be Daniel Day-Lewis. I want Wolverine. I want Wolverine. Joaquin Phoenix? I don't think he has, I don't think he has a chance. I don't think, No, he doesn't. I've heard, Joaquin Phoenix? Joaquin Phoenix. For what? The Master. Oh my God. That's good disgust. I do love Joaquin Phoenix for Dark City. Remember Dark City? Yeah. I loved that movie. Yeah, but he almost single-handedly killed Gladiator. Fair, fair. I mean, he was pretty bad. Oh, he was horrific in that movie. Lead actress, Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty. Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook. Emanuel Riva in Amor. There's not a chance I can pronounce this young girl's name in Beasts of the Southern Wild and Naomi Watts in The Impossible. Who has the biggest tits? Not the nine-year-old from the Beasts of the Southern Wild who I think is going to win. I think she's going to win. Youngest, yeah, because she's also the youngest ever. Yes, to be nominated. Do you think Anna Paquin was 12? That's a good win, then. This girl is nine. Nine. She started shooting when she was five. What? Five minutes. That is amazing. Yeah. Not nominated for Best Actress. Not nominated for Best Actress. Best Picture as a slight surprise was Skyfall, the Bond movie. It's a good movie. It was a good movie, but it won like the continuity, the razzy. Did it really? Oh, yeah, evidently. There are huge gaps in that movie, and I didn't notice it won because I was so damn entertained by it. Because it was badass, yeah. It was badass. Although, and I'll tell you about Casino Royale, the first one, the poker in that as a poker player was some of the worst poker scenes of all time. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. That's funny. I've never heard anyone call bullshit on a poker game before. Dude, at the end of the scene, everybody has full houses and four of a kind and straight flushes and shit. It's like... That's a good place. It never happens. And he didn't win by being good. He won by luck. I like... That's not good poker. I like the... Talks about beating this. I can beat this man. Yeah, if you got lucky, yes. Yes. I like when you draw the line. I like when that's the spot you draw the line. I got a buddy who wouldn't watch Flashdance because he's like, there's no way that chick's a welder. You're like, seriously? That's where you draw the line? What? You don't think that the town's gonna be shut down if this guy doesn't win a contest? This chick is way too hot to weld. I'm like, okay, all right, that's a good spot. All right, well, let's move on to sports real quick. Speaking of awards, the group of 67 sculptors working on the life-size bust of Barry Bonds for Cooperstown can't stop working now. The all-time home run leader fell, just 40% shy of the 75% of the vote needed to get into the Hall of Fame. This is the ABC News and ESPN. The Baseball Hall of Fame announced today that no one will be inducted this year. For the first time in nearly two decades, no names will be added to the halls at Cooperstown. No to pitcher Roger Clemens, the only seven-time Cy Young winner. No to Barry Bonds, who hit a record 71 home runs in one season. No to Sammy Sosa, the fifth, player ever to hit more than 600 home runs. But all were suspected of using steroids or performance-enhancing drugs. If there's any connection, real or imagined, to performance-enhancing drugs, you are just not getting the writer's vote. Well, then that was not a good time to be up for a vote. No. The two that I was really disappointed didn't get in were Craig Biggio. Craig Biggio, who led the league, I mean, led the vote this time. He was the closest with 68.2%. Right. And he was an all-star at three different positions. Hello. Yeah. And also never tested positive. Never tested positive. There was never any stink around him at all. Well, there's a little rumor. There's rumor, but I mean, no, I don't believe he was on the Mitchell Report. I don't believe there was anything substantial. That and Lee Smith, man. Could we put the brother in the hall already? The guy's fourth on the all-time saves list. Yeah. You know what? A lot of relievers, people are having a hard time putting specialized relievers in nowadays. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve to be in. I know. I'm just saying it doesn't surprise me. But yes, and at one point he was the leader, the all-time leader of in saves. Can we just speak to the fact that everybody does steroids? Yes. Let's be clear. Every single person who plays pro sports does steroids. That's not true. Maybe there's a 3% that doesn't. There's nothing true about anything you just said. They all do drugs. No, that's not true. They all do drugs. That's completely untrue. You're making facts up. I think though, I don't think that steroids, this isn't the first performance enhancing substance. It's just, this is a big one. That's the problem. In the 50s and 60s, it was speed. In the 80s, your beloved Mets were coked out of their gills when they won. I still think, by the way, I still say, if you take the 86 Mets now and put them all on the same drugs they were on then, they could compete. They could definitely still compete. Well, that's what I'm saying. Not just steroids, but performance enhancing stuff. Yes. That's what everybody's doing now. And I don't care. That's a different argument. But somebody getting caffeined up or taking no dose before a game, I'm not saying it's healthy or a good idea, but that's different than having a blood transfusion. That makes you like a freak. Yeah. Or doing horse tranquilizers or anything along those lines, which sounds like a good time. I'm a little upset Mike Piazza didn't make it. Mike Piazza, who has the best offensive numbers for a catcher of all time, most home runs for a catcher ever, he finished at 57.8. He was fourth highest percentage of the vote. And the hair. Yeah, and he did have a great mullet. Great mullet for a while. Great mullet. It's important for baseball. But I mean, a part of that is because... Especially in the 80s. Yeah, exactly. A lot of that is, or all of it, the reason Piazza's not in. I'm assuming if he wasn't in with this class, he gets voted in easily. All time leading offensive numbers for a catcher. Problem is, is you're in the steroid era and everybody all of a sudden says, well, wait a second. If I'm not putting Bonds and Clemens in, then how am I putting Piazza in when he was in in the same time and I assume now he's guilty too? Which is a tough guilt by association. That does suck because maybe he didn't do drugs. Right. But you know what? And I'm a Mets fan. Maybe he did. That being said, that's tough. I mean, has the... I heard somebody on the way over here say, sports writers wouldn't use this little evidence to report a story, yet they're using this little evidence to not vote him in. Interesting, yeah. Which is interesting. That's a very good point. Roger Clemens was, I think, eighth on the list with only 37% of the vote. Barry Bonds, the all-time home run leader, is ninth with 36% of the vote. That is amazing. Sammy Soser, Sammy Soser, 60 homers in three consecutive seasons. The only person to do that, 609 in his career, and he's way down the list. Now, did any of those guys actually test positive? Yes. Or admit that they did it? Admit that they did it. Barry Bonds got caught having it, being on some list, but he, under oath, said that he didn't know he was taking it. Okay. He thought it was a different cream of some sort. I put it on my butt and my neck tripled in size and I was able to hit the ball 500 feet, but I didn't know. Did not know. According to reports, disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong is seeking a public pardon from the popera. He's expected, he's expected to admit to doping in an interview that's going to be televised on Thursday. What do you guys think about that? Um, I, I, again, here's my problem with all of this, and I'm going to tell you, this is my, I do think that most of the athletes who are at that type of level do some kind of performing and have a good time enhancing. So what you get is you get, when somebody's winning and they're winning the most, they're also doing performance enhancing. They're just better than the other performance enhanced people. And that argument can be made for Lance Armstrong specifically, I think. Yeah. I don't think you can take the 900 people or however many people who are in Major League Baseball and then just throw a blanket over and say, well, they all do it because they're professionals. That's fair enough. But Lance Armstrong is in what is reportedly one of the most crooked, you know, sports, or at least was. Oh, yeah. And the problem is, and this, this is the problem with Barry Bonds, is that whether you're likable or not, Barry Bonds didn't help that he wasn't likable. But when you're, when you're competing against other people doing these things, you're still risking the fact that if you succeed too much, they're going to say, well, I don't want you to be the all-time leader in something because you're cheating. Because you're cheating, yeah. Like, the other problem I have is this guy has one ball. Give him a break. All right? He's got one nut. So did Hitler. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Good point. I don't want him to have a break. No, he doesn't need to. He doesn't need a break. Yeah, but I don't think we can compare him. No, but I'm just saying they both had one nut. Oh, okay. Fair enough. That is a fine link between those two. My understanding, Adolf Hitler, lousy cyclist. Yes, that's what I would guess. But he was saying all the other dictators were doing stuff. Here's the problem. Here's my biggest problem with Lance, and then we'll move on to headlines, is it's not so much that he did it. I mean, I don't, it's the, it's the Rafael Palmeiro. And I understand why if you're doing it, you're not going to go, oh yeah, no, I'm blatantly cheating when you're asked. But when you're furious at the people for asking you, when you're so adamantly yelling at these people, you're so adamantly claiming your innocence, and I can understand it to a point, but when you're wagging your finger at people or you can't believe the gall of them accusing you of things, and then you come out. I had a buddy that I used to, my first roommate in town, it didn't matter what, he would lie about the most mundane shit. He'd be like, hey man, did you drink my beer? And he'd be like, no dude. I'd be like, it's empty on your desk. I'm looking at it. No bro, it wasn't me. Like, it's more about the lie than it is about the actual activity. Yeah, my brother was like that. He took my beer? That son of a bitch. Well, sort of. We had like a, he showed up at our house and was like, hey, don't lie about stuff and don't do drugs. And then he like, we gave him $11, get a bus pass, comes back, no bus pass, big giant pouch of tobacco. Tells us someone stole his pass while he was on the train and that someone gave him a pouch of tobacco because he was like, because they felt sorry for him. That's, here's the thing is, he's a horrible shopper and he's a horrible liar. Yeah, and I was like, you're lying to me right now. Just tell me you're not lying. Tell me the truth and we'll be fine. And he wouldn't do it. So I kicked him out. Yeah, that's more annoying than the actual activity. All right, let's get to headlines. Extra, extra, read all about it. Extra, extra, extra, extra, read all about it. Nice. All right, we're getting to headlines right now. You're listening to the weekly wrap up with Ken August on Extreme XM channel. One sixty five. And you can always catch us live every Sunday, seven o'clock Eastern time at our home at Skid Row Studios dot com. Get every episode free at the iTunes store. Aaron Swartz, the 26 year old founder of Reddit, a website that allows users to vote for their favorite news stories of the day, hung himself yesterday. The story of his death only ranked seventh on Reddit. I don't know if that's true. Actually, I made that part up. He was facing trial for stealing files from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology with the attention with the intention of putting it on a file sharing site. I don't know what the information was he was stealing, but got it. MIT, it could have been anything. That's what I'm saying. He apparently was, you know, in danger of at least being sentenced to 30 years in prison. So whatever he took, whatever he took when you're starting when you're doing cyber crimes and it's important shit, they're going to come after you. And I don't usually get behind conspiracy theories, but this is one of those ones where you're like, OK, this guy randomly dies when he possibly has a lot of secrets that the government or and or super wealthy intelligence dudes have. Defense contractors might have been real happy about that. Yeah, no. And I can't put that past people for doing it, but I was saying to you the other day, it's I, I would think that they would do it before they would, you know, charge him. Yeah. Kill him. So people don't bother charging him, just kill him. Right. So they don't say, oh, well, who would have a motive to do this? Well, no, he was already, he was already facing charges. Right. He was, but they killed him by making it look like he hung himself. Right. But I'm saying you can do that before you make, before you make yourself the suspect and say, oh, well, he had, he was going to release some of our information. We don't want out MIT or the defense department. Possibly. Still, why would you, why would you leave yourself out there? Huell Hauser, host of public television's California's gold and pound for pound the world's most successful Huell died this week at the age of 67. The cause of death was not released. So feel free to make one up. But the ex-Marine became known for his extreme enthusiasm for all things California. If Huell Hauser was alive today, he would be amazed by his death. Oh, man. He was. The guy, he was big on the, oh my gosh, and isn't that amazing? Yeah. Yeah, dude, it's a shoelace. It's not that amazing. I dug him because I've never seen any adult have that much childlike wonder. That is, he was cool that way. My girlfriend's like that. She's adorable. That is a wonderful element. Yeah. Your girlfriend should have a television show. I believe California's gold is probably looking for a host right now. In one of the worst cases of you win some, you lose some, a 46-year-old Chicago man won a million dollars on a scratch-off ticket. Then a month later, he died of natural causes. However, at the request of a relative, more testing was done and the cause of death was changed to homicide by cyanide poisoning. Ooh. Yeah, I'm assuming they have to figure out, they have to wait to see which relative is guilty before they make the movie of the week about it. Yeah, and they also have to figure out which one of those idiots is going to walk in and try to redeem the ticket now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The guy should have swallowed a gun so his stomach could have shot the cyanide as it came down. Even sadder, by the way, after taxes and everything, the whole check was for $425,000. He had a relative more than likely. I don't know if it was a relative. Somebody killed him for $425,000. Awful. That's expensive for just an average Joe. Yeah. Yeah, okay. That is a valid point, especially if we're going to just raise the cost of bullets like we were talking about earlier. It's an expensive bullet. I was originally going to report that a 70-year-old Saudi Arabian man robbed the, by marrying a 15-year-old girl. However, after more information came out, it seems that an 86-year-old Saudi man didn't really rob the cradle as much as he bought the cradle for $20,000 from its parents, brought it home, then couldn't get it to work properly, so he returned it. I hope he kept the receipt. Apparently, after the wedding night, they had a fight and the girl ran home to her parents and the guy complained. Hey, I bought this girl. I bought this wife. He said he was, he was tricked and he was by telling him, by them telling him that she was 15, that she was 25 and not 15 because obviously, you know, otherwise it would be embarrassing. He apparently lied about being 86 and said he was 70 because he didn't want to seem old when he accompanied his wife to her junior prom in a couple of years. Man. That is, that is the creepiest story of the week right there, I think. That is gross. That is gross. He thought she was 25, not 15 because 61-year difference makes sense. It might move to my douchebag, maybe. Oh, that's, that's a good move. After, after assessing mountains of evidence, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration declared that 2012 was the hottest year on record for the lower 48 states. Republicans said, no, it wasn't. Yeah. There's nothing else to say about that. Yeah, God is on it. No, it wasn't. If you're a big fan of calamari, scientists say they have finally captured images of a live giant squid in its natural habitat for the first time. Catch yourself one of those, you'll be eating well for months. The Japanese zoologist in charge of this mission has been on search for a giant squid for over 10 years. And I gotta let you know that the, the aioli he had prepared has gone south. How many times, by the way, during this mission do you think somebody said in Japanese, we're gonna need a bigger boat? The executive chairman of Google made a trip to North Korea to urge the isolated nation to allow access to the internet. The hangup seems to be the fear that if North Koreans can actually get online, they will quickly discover how much North Korea sucks. And leave. Yeah. Well, if they're allowed to leave. Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-un, also turned 30 this week, but that's a North Korean year, so I don't know what that translates to. A Netherlands-based non-profit group released its basic requirements for applicants to its new reality show that will begin later this year. Applicants need to be mentally and physically healthy and if selected, will be flown to Mars to try to colonize the planet until the show gets canceled, then they'll probably just let you die. I like this idea, though, they should send past show contestants, I think, to Mars. This is really interesting. All right, the last one we'll do is, reality star Donald Trump is threatening to sue Bill Maher if he doesn't pay up on an offer he made while on The Tonight Show. Maher, I assume jokingly, offered to pay $5 million to charity of Trump's choice if he released his birth certificate to prove he wasn't the spawn of his mother and an orangutan. Trump shockingly proved it, which I would have been wrong, although I would have guessed a spawn of a burnt sienna crayon and an alpaca. That would have been my guess. That's actually more accurate, yeah. Not a bad contest. Go to the Weekly Wrap-Up Facebook page and post what two random items could be Trump's parents. Ooh. That is not a bad idea. I like it. Last one, actually. We're going to do one more. Here's a fun one. This story was sent to us by one of our regular listeners who goes by the name Crazy Legs. Crazy Legs, thank you for the story. In a poll on Tuesday, public policy polling discovered that 58% of Americans have a higher opinion of colonoscopies than they do of Congress. Congress also lost to traffic jams, cockroaches, traffic jams and cockroaches, but they did beat out Lindsay Lohan, Castro, and the Kardashians. Nice. That's hilarious. That is time for Douche of the Week. What is wrong with people? Jeff, what is wrong with people? Who is your Douche of the Week, buddy? Representative Paul Ryan, come on down. You're my Douche of the Week for sponsoring yet another fetal personhood bill. Really? We can't take care of the people that are already out of the womb, but by God, we've got to have more rights for something. You know what? I'm not anti-zygote by any means. Good for the record. For the record. Knock it off, Paul. Ron, who do you got, buddy? I'm actually going to do a group of douches. Oh, a douche-eye. A douche-eye, shall we say? Yes, that's going to be every single person who's decided that the government has planned out all these shootings in order to get gun control passed. If you're going to make up a conspiracy theory, have one that has one side making money. That makes sense. Otherwise, you're losing my attention. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. What's going on with Maurice Greenberg for suing the government that bailed him out? What kind of creepy rich guy? What are you, Mr. Burns from The Simpsons? Ron, what do you got coming up, buddy? I got Angry Dorks on Monday, every Monday, 6 to 7 p.m. and on iTunes. And January 17th, I'm at the Madhouse Comedy Club for the Nerds of Comedy. Thank you very much, everybody. We'll see you next week on the Weekly Wrap-Up again in August. Bam. Bam.