John Skip on horror writing, bizarro fiction, and domination talk

I want to live a life of sin. I want to be like Chinchulun. La la dee, la la die. Surrender to the force that lies within. I want to be like Chinchulun. La la dee, la la die. La la dee, la la die. Just a sub. A lowly sub. Oh man, considering all the sub and bondage talks we've been doing, that doesn't sound right. That sounds like... Oh, and it fits right in, I believe. Maybe it does. Maybe it does. Listen, we have in our studio, we have a famous horror writer. Tying in the horrors and horror, we have, let's see, I want to get this right. New York Times bestselling author, editor turned film writer, John Skip. Yep. He's famous for a little book, a well-known book called Light at the End. The vampire in it was, in the subways, inspired Spike and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Because he was a punk. Because he was a punk and so was, yeah. Rudy, right? Yep. That was the name of the character. I knew that. Yeah. And Book of the Dead, 1989, was the first postmodern Romero zombie literature. That's where you created what was a Romero world and you write stories about it, right? I'm going to tell you about how we convinced George Romero that making a book of zombie stories was a good idea back in 1989 because he was skeptical. Okay, well let me just finish your credits here and then we'll go back to it. And then you're an editor of Fungasm? Fungasm Press is my book label. And it's a form of bizarro fiction, right? Is that what you say? Yeah, it is a bizarro offshoot. It is part of the Eraserhead Press. Machine of bizarro fiction, which is... Started by, would you say David Lynch is the father, kind of? I would say that David Lynch is somebody they sure liked a lot because they named their company after him. But yeah, it's the fiction of the weird. And so he's definitely one of the inspirations. The real godfather, I think, is Carlton Millick III, author of The Haunted Vagina and various other stories that I'll also be discussing. Is that your alias? No, I wish. Didn't you have something called Haunted Something Vagina or am I thinking of... Well, I had a book called... Haunted Pants that I wanted to do. A book full of nothing but stories of people with terrifying pants. Asexual, kind of. You never know. There could be a secret ghost fucking inside the pants. You don't know. But you are a horror writer. That is correct. Screenwriter and director. Yes. So we're tying in the horror. And we knew each other. We know each other for a long time and I'm a whore. So there's your horror and whores. There you have it. So tell us a little bit more about what's going on with you. Well... Let's go back to like your first book, The Light at the End. That was your big breakthrough, right? Yes. Yeah. I was living in New York City working as a messenger, barely making any money at all. And my old friend, Craig Spector, came up with this idea about a punk vampire in the subways. But he wasn't a writer. So he said, why don't you write the story and we'll split the money. It'll be great. And you said yes. Well, we started talking about it. We realized it wasn't a short story. It was a novel and it got really interesting. So I did. I wrote The Fucker. But we jammed back and forth on the story a lot. It was his idea and then we developed it. But I was the actual guy with the typewriter. We still used typewriters in those days. And he was the means to actually get it into the lap of the editor, right? Well, what happened was when I moved to New York, I started... I started writing horror stories and trying to sell them. I sold to Twilight Zone magazine, which had just come out and was really cool. And the editor there really liked my stuff and wrote a letter of recommendation for me. Then with The Light at the End, we tried to publish it. We tried to sell it to... We got so many rejections. We could build a house out of the rejection slips I got for this thing. And then all of a sudden, my editor, Ted Klein at Twilight Zone, sold a book to Bantam Books for $100,000. I was like, well, shit. They like him. He likes me. Maybe they'll like me. So I put together a one-page proposal and handed it off to Spectre. He was working as a messenger, too. He was a roller skating messenger. So he takes this envelope with this piece of paper in it with a one-page description of the book, roller skates into Bantam Books, 666 Fifth Avenue, by the way. Oh, boy. And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... And... I don't know. So he takes it with him to lunch. He's supposed to be meeting an author. The author doesn't show up. So he's sitting in this restaurant for 45 minutes with nothing to do but read our proposal over and over. And he said he almost got hit by a cab on the way back because he was reading it walking down the fucking street. And half an hour later, I get a phone call going, I want to see your book. So that's how that all broke through. That is such a Cinderella story. I love that. Yeah, we were both- Only in New York. Absolutely. Yeah. So like a month later, we had a three book deal. And then this book went on and sold a million copies. Phantom. That's a big company. That was a huge company. Huge company. Yeah. So we were all fancy in New York at that particular time. If you looked at certain buses on the bus routes, you would see the light at the end on the buses. So they actually- Oh, that's awesome. No, it was fucking cool. And- Really quickly, how did that work out? A vampire in the subways, that just sounds like dark and dank and dark and dank. Well, it was crazy. He's a punk and he was a real asshole too. This guy, Rudy, he was a graffiti artist and just an arrogant fuckhead. And he gets bit by a vampire one night on the subway. And then the vampire just like dumps him in the tunnel. So he's sleeping in his native soil. And he wakes up wanting blood. And for the next eight days, he just basically tears up lower Manhattan. Now, this is not a sexy vampire. No, although he does get laid. How does that work? He's an asshole. He's a total asshole, but he's really good looking. And a lot of the ladies really like those creepy asshole vampire- Yeah, right. They're drawn to the bad boy. Exactly. The soul sucking, handsome bad boy. And yeah, there was one point he winds up having sex with some young lady and his teeth are in his neck and she kind of blacks out and he kind of blacks out and he wakes up still fucking her, but her head is falling off. It was a nice story. Oh, the puns abound. The puns abound. Yeah. That's great. Although I think my favorite part is still spiking the bag lady, where some of the guys are chasing the vampire down in the tunnels and they see a bunch of homeless vampires pouring muscatel into a bag lady and then just all sucking on it. He's got like five drunk vampires sucking on a bag lady while they pour muscatel down her throat. Oh my God. Just see, that's a departure on pulling a watermelon with vodka, right? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Spiking the bag lady. What do you think, Stevie? That's very creative. Thank you. I would not have thought to do that. You're not a vampire. The thing is, I just really like making up crazy shit and horror's been really good because there's almost nothing that you can't do or get away with and that's exactly what I like. But you also tell really good stories. I've read your books. Thank you very much. And the next one, The Cleanup, I believe. Yeah. I really liked. It had a lot of morality in it for a horror book. There's like a consequence for actions kind of thing that really hits home. Yes, it's a horror book and it's meant to be sensational, but there's some hard hitting emotional turns in that that really you wouldn't expect from something like a horror book. But to me, that's what horror is good for. It's this fiction of worst case scenarios. It's a horror of man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The evil that we do. And, you know, I think that's what I like about it. Yeah. It's the evil that we do and the cost of it. Who's the bigger monster, the monster or man? Almost always the people. And this was one of the differences between what we were doing when we came out and the whole splatterpunk thing, which was the hilarious name that they gave us. A lot of horror before then had been sort of like everything's nice and normal and then the monster comes and fucks things up. Stephen King kind of scenario. And then you kill the monster. Yeah. You kill the monster and everything goes back to normal. Right. But, you know, we always sort of felt like, no, it's already fucked up before the monster gets there. Right. And and the monster just kind of brings everything into stark relief. And when you stop it, you haven't stopped evil in the world. You just stopped. Right. You don't get rid of people. You still have yourselves to look at. You're right. It's a mess. So. And Splatterpunk is the name that they gave you. I remember that that being a big deal. Like what was the movie where they had with the stars were called something about last night had Rob Lowe and they were called. Oh, the Brat Pack. The Brat Pack. You were the Brat Pack of horror. We were the Splat Pack. Got it. That's what I was trying to get around to slowly. Okay. Yeah. No, it's really true. And it was funny because it all kind of all these different writers all popped out at the same time. It was Craig and I in in New York and David J. Skow in L.A. and Joe Lansdale in Texas and Clive Barker in London. And we all hit at the same time and we were all doing this kind of transgressive stuff that went harder on the sex and violence than was normal. And we were just we were really we came, you know, to mess shit up. And you guys were cute, too. And we were really cute. You were like young, cute. You were wearing kind of punky, that kind of post-apocalyptic. What's the word? I'm a little dumb today. Well, scarves and knots and almost steampunk kind of looking accoutrement, right? I had a cool biker jacket, black leather jacket I was wearing there for a while. Now, when I when I wear it with my shaved head, I just look like a bear. Isn't that a gay sexual reference? I think I think it was. When I was in New York, did you when you were writing, did you visit vampires or people? I did visit people who claimed to be vampires because I remember I remember walking through Times Square and there was a guy hanging upside down by the scaffolding acting like a vampire. I mean, maybe he was a real vampire, hands crossed, hanging upside down. And I was just like, OK, welcome to New York. Yes. This is interesting. Well, we were surrounded by freaks. I mean, that's half of the reason I moved there in the first place was to be surrounded by freaks and where I would feel at home. But yeah, I mean, working as a messenger, I was all up and down the street. I was in the back, you know, I was in the back of the car. I was in the back of the car. I was in the back of the car. I was in the back of the car. I was in the back of the car. I was in the back of the car. But I was walking around the streets every day. You know, I was like eight hours a day on the street. And you knew all the routes and everything, even the subway. You knew the subway really well. You had to. Yeah. The bottom line, any of those books, those early Skip Inspector books set in New York, you could do a walking tour of them. And everything is where we say it is, except for the restaurants that closed, which is most of them. Right. But I mean, all the streets, you know, the biggest thing back when we wrote this thing, There were no cell phones. We had just gotten the revolution called the beeper, and they would beep us, and then we would go to the nearest payphone and call. Now there's not any fucking payphones. Does that mean you wouldn't have a story? Your story would be different. Oh, yeah. You'd have to do it as a period piece, or you'd have to work that whole end of the technology in. I think it would be more fun to shoot the movie with payphones and pretend it was the 80s, but, of course, that would be more expensive as well. I almost grabbed one. There was one on the side of the road, and I thought, you know, does it belong to somebody? It was just there with a chunk of cement on the bottom of it. And I hid, like, when they knocked the 101 theater down, the drive-in theater, I went there and I got all the call boxes that I could put in my car. I thought, these are fun. I might need them for a prop one day. And I stared at this payphone. For the 80s movie. Yeah, and I thought about it, and then by the time I got the nerve to go grab the payphone, it was gone. Like, somebody else took it. God damn it. So this whole thing led in with the books. You got into Hollywood now. Well, I mean, moved to L.A. because The Light of the End had been optioned for film. A couple of the other things had been optioned for film. And so it was like they wanted us to be in Hollywood, and so it was time to come here. But, yeah, unfortunately, my dance with Hollywood the first time around was not that great. One of the things I realized was that, hell is writing for other people. We did Nightmare on Elm Street 5. Nightmare on Elm Street 5, The Dream Child. I had a little bit in that. It's a terrible movie. It's a terrible movie, but you were looking for ideas. And I love the fact that I was able to talk about bulimia and stuff. And you worked that into one of the characters. And I told you because I had my own bout with it. And you kind of, not literally, but I guess, sort of in the movie, this woman dies of bulimia in her own weird way. And it was pretty cool. Well, they did use our idea, although they cartooned it up a lot, where the young lady who was very beautiful and very fashion conscious and wanted to be an actress winds up strapped in a chair by Freddie and is force-fed until she balloons grotesquely and pops while everybody's going, eat, eat, eat, eat. That was my take on it. But yeah. But that was, yeah, that's what happens when you tell us shit and then we go make things up. You ruined it. Yeah, well, and then they ruined it from us. So it was basically just a long slope of ruin. But a lot of people go, oh my God, you did Nightmare on Elm Street. That was such a big deal. Yeah, well, and then we had to threaten them with legal action to get our name on it because they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, we got a phone call from an attorney here in Los Angeles while we were back in Pennsylvania. And the guy said, do you know that they're putting out posters and, and, and trailers and your name isn't on it? And we said, well, no, we didn't know that. He said, would you like me to mention that to them? And we said, sure, that'd be great. So 10 minutes later, we get a phone call from New Line freaking out going, what do you mean you made it up? We, we told you everything you, you did. You didn't make up anything. And we said, well, actually we have every conversation we had with you recorded. And they went, oh, did you really? Yeah. Oh, wow. And they, they went, oh, nevermind. And they pulled, and they pulled the trailers and they pulled the posters and they put our fucking name on them. Wow. That's power. That's amazing. Because the lawsuit would have cost them a lot of money and, and made them blow their release date, et cetera, et cetera. So it was easier to just do that. But then we saw the movie and went, oh man, we put our name on what? I wonder if like, call them and say, could we, you put our name on Nightmare on Elm Street three instead? Cause that one's really good. That one is good. It's really good. I left one in three. One in three. That I remember. But it had to be Nancy. Yeah. And, um, yeah. Heather Langenkamp. I've just, that's your friend, right? Um, no, no, she's not my friend. Oh, no, I met her, but there's a guy, they're doing something Nightmare on Elm Street. I think this Friday or something at the Lemley. Cool. And she'll be there doing a Q and A, but, um, no, I tried to get that guy here today, but. Oh, that's one of the guys we didn't get. Yeah. Got it. That was how that conversation started. John, John, skip. Yeah. And I'm going to talk twice as fast and loud to make up for the other person. And we'll try to keep up with you. There you go. Now, the only good thing that really came out of Nightmare on Elm Street five, uh, aside from, uh, um, was it Tuesday in that one? Somebody named Tuesday? Yeah, I think, I think so. Okay. Um, or maybe, maybe she was in six. I just did a giant, uh, signing with her and like 15 other people from the nightmare, uh, thing, including Heather. Okay. Um, because, okay. Years later, uh, the only good thing that came out of it is that twice a year I get a check, usually for at least $5. And, um, your residuals. Royalties are a wonderful thing. Someday they'll be audited and we'll find the $15,000 that's just sitting there, uh, with my name on it, uh, not being sent. Um, um, hi new line. But, uh, um, then years later, uh, a young man named Andrew Cash calls me up and says, we're doing a documentary called never sleep again. The Elm street legacy. It's this giant, massive, uh, documentary on the entire, uh, uh, Freddy Krueger phenomenon. And, um, and he said, would you come in and talk? And I said, can I tell the truth? And, uh, and he said, please. Wow. So I got in there and managed to tell the entire story of, of what, uh, happened with us and how it went. Down, uh, including the fact that when, when we wrote the script, uh, we, we basically, uh, there was a, a splatter punk casting call because they wanted to bring one of the new hip horror writers into, to do the next, uh, Freddy. And, uh, so they, they asked a bunch of us to pitch and we won. So, um, we did our version of the script. And, uh, then one of the producers there had another, uh, writer that she wanted to have do the script. So he wrote a, uh, another script simultaneously. He hands in his script. We hand in ours. They hated his and they loved ours. So they fired us and hired him to rewrite our script because that's how you do it. That's how it works in Hollywood. Yeah. Um, so anyway, so I got to tell all that fun story. And, um, and then Andrew, uh, who was one of the directors on the thing and, and also, uh, uh, writer on the documentary, I mean, editor on the documentary said, you know, I, I really, really love your books. I'd like to work with you sometime. Now, uh, he and I are directing films together. Um, we, we have a couple of features that were developed and we just did the music video, hot rod worm, which, uh, you really liked. Um, and, um, a movie called stay at home dad, which, uh, one, uh, the, the audience bronze at the Fantasia international. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that one's the one that starts with a, a guy with enormous boobs, nursing his baby and crying a lot. And then, and then it gets weird from there. Um, uh, then it gets weird. Yeah. Again, totally bizarro craziness. Bizarro. This is the term. Okay. Very, very much bizarro. So yeah. And, we have a couple of features that we're working on right now, uh, developing, um, writing one right now with Cody Goodfellow for Andrew and I to direct. Cody Goodfellow is your writing partner. Yes. He also wrote, uh, stay at home dad. Okay. And I remember reading him separate before you guys linked forces. He's an awesome, awesome horror writer. Unbelievable writer. He, he writes this stuff. That's like, uh, um, grungy, nasty crime fiction meets hardcore horror in it. Super smart. You have to be smart to get this stuff. In a dystopian science fiction universe. Science fiction universe. I mean, he's just got every pulp, uh, influence dripping off of him. And he, he's smarter than like the average 30 people with their brains back together. He walked in the room when I first met him. I was like, Allah, Allah, you are God, you are God. He was amazing. Yeah. He's smart. He's a smart, uh, You guys together. You're, you're the force to be dealt with. We have fun. Yeah. There's, there's much laughing. Oh, um, um, the first show and tell book that, um, uh, that I could show you is the latest one that Cody and I just did. And hang on just a second while I, uh, okay. Well, I remember my, um, first, I had the first nightmare on Elm street poster with Nancy in the bed. Right. We were talking about, um, he was the first one and like the Freddy's knives are like over her hand, over her head. Yeah. I had it and I ended up, somebody threw it away. So, and this was before eBay. So it was hard to replace your poster. Right. I finally got another one and I'd gone to the, um, so I went to, I don't know if it was a Fangoria or something and had Heather sign it, you know, Stevie, whatever you do, don't fall asleep. You know, Heather Langenkamp, Nancy. Now, have you, have you had any of the things that you've written actually quotes or some kind of dialogue put onto, um, memorabilia? Um, well, the only line of dialogue of ours left from nightmare on Elm street five, the dream, it's a boy is what they put on the poster and everything. It's the only line of our fucking dialogue that's left in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. I mean they, they took a bunch of our scenes and they had enough of our scenes left over to actually use in nightmare six where we couldn't do anything about it. Freddy had a baby. Um, but, uh, but it's a boy. So, so yeah, that was written a lot on, on posters and photos. That is a big deal. Um, but yeah, I mean, uh, weird things that I've said to show up all over the place. It's, uh, it's funny. Again, you are a master of sound bites. I'll give you that. I'm not going, uh, so what was the book I was going to mention? I was going to mention this book right here. Ah, can you see it? Can you see the cover? The last goddamn Hollywood movie. Is that by yourself or? Cody and I. Cody and you. Okay. Yeah. And it's about, it's about the, um, the last Hollywood film crew making the last Hollywood movie in the radioactive crater formerly known as Los Angeles because they finally dropped the bombs. And um, and so it's hard. It's like, it's half Hollywood satire and half, uh, apocalypse horror story. That sounds amazing. I want it. Is this brand new? Yeah, here you go. Oh, yay. I have something to read. There you go. It's got really nice pictures in it too, in including, uh, uh, a guy dying of, uh, radiation poisoning, but still, uh, getting jacked off. Oh, he doesn't have his miso soup. Miso paste to protect him from the radiation. I don't, I don't think it worked. No, I'm pretty sure it didn't work. Oh, that's right. Yeah. You were telling me about that earlier. Miso soup is like when people have, are exposed to radiation, there's something about it that helps you become non irradiated or whatever. So it's just one of those little known facts. It's not a lot protection. We're not saying lead suit protection, but it does help if you're like been exposed. Anyway, I don't know how we got off on that, but radiation, it was radiation of the last goddamn Hollywood movie, which is a great title, by the way. Thank you very much. That's really neat. Um, this is your latest. Yes. And maybe the last book that I write for a while. Why is that? Because I'm really, really, really not going to rest until I've directed a feature film this year. Um, and, um, um, is that require you putting everything else on hold and really actively going after this now? Um, yes. Okay. Totally. I'm still writing short stories and I still got a column for Fangoria magazine and, um, I'm still doing, you know, uh, little pieces elsewhere, but I'm not actually writing any new books. Um, I'm still, for a while, I am still editing books. Right. I still run. You've been doing that for a long time. Yes. Lots of books. Yeah. Including this one. Zombies. That's a thick book. Uh huh. Oh, he's got a lot of them. Werewolves. And shape shifters. And shape, and then you have demons or something. Oh, the D yes. Demons. I love that one. That's really fun. Demons, demons. And here's the one that I know. Psychos. These are really nice looking books. They're thick. They've got great covers. They've got great writers. And they just, and great writers in them. Of course, that's what I was gonna say now. Yeah, we've got Neil Gaiman. Uh, we've got, uh, Stephen King. We've got, uh, George R.R. Martin. Mm-hmm. The Game of Thrones guy. We've got, um, um, Thomas Harris, the guy who wrote Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs. Oh, wow. We've got, uh, William Peter Blatty, who wrote The Exorcist. We've got just all kinds, uh, of great writers. And the coolest, newest, latest authors that are waiting to pop. A lot of them have published first stories or early works with us. So, Oh, well, I know Ginger's gonna be sad she didn't catch this. She loves this stuff. Oh, in each volume or what is it? Um, I think, okay, each book is 600 some pages except for the zombies book which was 700 some pages. So, on average, it's about 38 stories per book. Oh, okay. And some of them are very short and some of them are, are, are big and meaty. Um, the George R.R. Martin story which is in the Werewolf and Shave Shifter book. Do you try and have a story in each book yourself? I try not to. Oh, okay. The only time I ever have a story in here is when we run out of money and there's still a little space to fill. And then I go, okay, um, then my choices are either find another old, uh, um, public domain story that I can, uh, reprint for free. Right. Or, um, I can write a book that I think is, is worth it. Right. Um, but otherwise it's kind of nice not to, uh, if for no other reason than you don't get reviews on Amazon by people who go, well, John Skip is a fine editor, but as a writer, which I've been getting a lot. I mean, it's like, uh, it's sort of like, well, you have very good taste, but, uh, it's all in your ass and you're a fucking idiot. So don't write anymore. And, and it's very encouraging. It is. Yeah. It makes you feel good. Um, the other, um, stuff that I've been editing again is with fungasm. Okay. That was the, that was the last one you were, uh, fungasm is, is, is my, uh, my imprint. It's my own, like my, my book publishing record label. Okay. And as part of the eraser head, uh, bizarro guys, I have, uh, uh, the last goddamn Hollywood movie came out on fungasm. That was the last release there. Congratulations. That's awesome. Thank you. The other two, uh, oh, see, we've got a lot of screaming. Oh, stuff over here. Kelly, we took a break now. Let me just finish this, this little, can I, can I do it? Yeah. Okay. Haunt by Laura Lee Barr was the first fungasm book. Uh, it is a kind of a tripping balls, bizarro hall of mirrors, uh, LA noir story, uh, with a girl who may or may not be dead as one of the main narrators. And it's really wonderful. And, uh, we're actually releasing the audio book, um, next month, which I just, which I just produced. And, uh, then creative underground Los Angeles, which is a bunch of insane, super high end jazz players are doing an original soundtrack. And we're doing an event where they're playing the jazz. We're reading from the book, everything that's going to, wow. Multimedia. That's neat. It's going to be really cool. That's a end of next month, May 31st, I believe. Where? Um, downtown. I, I'm going to have to send you guys the address. Okay. So the first one is, uh, haunting, haunting, the haunt, haunt, no, no, the just haunt, haunt. Okay. And the other one and the other one, I am gangas come. Our, our wheelhouse here. Ganga's come. Now we're adding a little horror, um, by Violet Lavoie. Violet Lavoie is like the female Cody Goodfellow. She is so fucking smart and insane and incredibly great as a writer that I can't even believe it. And, uh, this first story, I am gangas come. It starts with, uh, there are 30, uh, sperm banks in Southern California and by midnight I will have hit them all. It's basically a psychotic who's jacking off in every sperm bank because he wants every other, uh, uh, child born to be his, to be his, like gangas come fucked his way across, you know, Asia and stuff. Uh, it's all about the number crunching and, and yeah, it's, it's just, it reads like an incredibly angry psychotic man and it's really just this bad ass, punk woman from Philly. Yes. Amazing. I am gangas come. Okay. That might be a good segue to your advertising. All right. Uh, real quick. How do we get ahold of you, John? Um, you can contact me at Facebook where my name is John skip the same as it is everywhere else with two P's. Yes. Um, or, um, uh, Twitter at your pal, skip, uh, Y E R P A L S K I P P. Um, I'm gonna go on your roof and shout really loud cause I've got like the ears of a dog. There you have it. John skip master, horror writer, storyteller and entrepreneur extraordinaire. Thank you so much. Direct his first feature film. Yes. Soon to direct his first feature film. All right. Now we're going to take a break, but first we're going to talk to you a little about screaming. Oh, go on Stevie. You, you, you start it. Well, the screaming, Oh, I have been seeing ginger do these. There is the finger, the thing goes home. It goes on your finger and it turns your finger into, I was playing with that. And you hold it down and it also does little pulses. It does. Oh, does it? Oh, see, you're teaching me more. I like that. That's what I like is the pulse. And it stops, but it like goes up and you can make it stronger. I mean, that's a lot for a little finger toy like that. And for the second stick it anywhere. It's got so many things I could do with it. It's so many places that I can touch and really, I mean, I'm not a, I'm not a, I don't have a lot of places that I can touch and really have fun with somebody that I'm having some play time with. I have something here that looks like a candy ring and it's called Blingo. Blingo. And it looks like something you would put on your finger and lick, honestly, but it's not. You could. You could. Well, I don't, wouldn't want to lick it, but I could stick it on my finger, turn it on. There you go. And put it, like you said, any place I want. But I get the feeling because this is a very stretchy little latex thing. This, this would go around a man's cock. Yes. You could put it down like this. Part of your breast for some breast bondage. That has to be one big nipple. Buzzing breast bondage. Huh. Why not? No, if you put that on your dick, then what happens? You want to try it? No. Okay. Well, no. Because we can give you one to take home. It's not necessarily for your pleasure. One of the things about this is it does, if you have blood in your dick, this will keep the blood in your dick like any good cock ring. True. We're hoping that happens. We're hoping that happens. And then if you put it down like this, it'll be resting, can rest against the girl's clit. So you could be pumping. Or is it up? Maybe it's up. So you're pumping. Either way. There's lube. The head is what vibrates. And it would be like, if you're not doing a good enough job is what I'm saying. I'm really skeptical that this would improve it, but I probably shouldn't say that. And then, you know, it's a way that you can say, I do. You could propose. And it says that. Really? It's the most memorable way to say I do. Later on, you're married. You know how your father proposed to me? And this is what I'm fascinated by. This I have to like. This is a tongue. That is the lingo. The lingo. You lingo. I had one once. I stuck it on my tongue. I tried to play around with this. He didn't like vibrating things. So I have to. I am on the search to find a guy who likes vibrating. It desensitizes them. It's true. Where a girl. And it desensitizes us, too. It's just, you know, that if it's constant. If you kind of blip it in and blip it out. And then start to make the strength a little bit more. But it's got to be kind of played with. Just spot on like that. It's as bad as someone just putting a vibrating thing on you. It's just. It's. It's. Why? I'm not saying I don't like them. Right. I'm just saying I'm not sure I would wear one there. It just. It just. It seems. But does it have an O at the end? Is that what it says? Is that a bling O? Well, the O is for an orgasm. Yeah. What is. The name of the company is Screaming O. Screaming. They all seem to have O's. O at the end of them. Because they're all O's. Any. Any word that ends with O is okay with me. As you say. Okay. I'm being laughed at now. But. This is supposed to be hot. You're supposed to do it hot. I mean, you could do it funny. You could do it. I. No. Yeah. Funny would be. I'm anti-comment. I do it funny. Funny as you choke on it. It's smaller. It wiggles and jiggles and tickles inside you. And then we have to try to get it out with all kinds of other toys. Hello ER. 911. We're fishing. 911. Then you need a tracheotomy. Bondy. With tape down there to try to catch it. Anyway, that's our experience with screaming O. Oh, there's a scream also. Oh, there is a scream. The screaming O climax cream. Which I have tried in the past with Ginger. We had kind of a screaming O climax cream off. And. God, that sounds way more than it was. We were just basically touching ourselves with the cream. And it has a nice warm sensation that goes away and just leaves you very sensitive. So I would recommend this. This is not one of those weird ones where it wipes you out and you wish you never touched yourself. Okay. Like cayenne or menthol. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Something like that. This is really nice. Yeah. If you go to the screaming O. Is it screaming O.com? And you put in the offer code Ginger. Right. 20. You will get 20% off. Nice. On your purchase. There you go. Yeah. Okay. Well, we're going to take a break now. And when we come back, John, are you going to stay with us? Or. I got a couple more minutes. Sure. All right. Cool. And I've got from Kelly's Corner, Scream Queen's Fantasy. Don't be late. Stay with us. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. His long tongue now circling my areolas, the sharp teeth nipping the tips. I feel an electric charge shoot through my body down to my groin. Oh, my pussy weeps. This is the attention that should have been mine last night, not the drunken, inept thrusting of a partially limp dick, but close attention to my needs, my details, hot, deliberate foreplay. Ooh, he's backed off my breast and is slowly tracing a line down my stomach with his middle fingernail, which, as I stare at it, resembles an animal claw. Mmm, that feels so good. It leaves a faint line. Wait, no. It's an opening. Oh, God, he's cut me open. Red liquid is welling up from the long incision. It's deep, real deep. I see other things crowded inside me, pushing to get out, but I feel no pain, no pain at all. He lowers his mouth to my stomach and starts to feed. I smile. So much attention, so much desire. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. Ooh! Sorry, a little bit awkward reading. I had just written it this afternoon, and I hadn't gone over it a whole bunch of times, but there you go. There you go. I particularly enjoyed the term heart hole. That's the kind of phrase that I approve of. You know, in the back of my head, I thought you might. I've known you for a long time. Yeah. Yeah, right? We go back a ways. Yes, we do. And we've lived together. That's correct. You were my lover. That is correct. And something like heart hole, among other terms, would resonate with you. I just know it would. Absolutely. Absolutely. It would be up there with, like, skull socket. Skull socket, or... Did you ever have the same nightmares, living together? We would, you know, pass them back and forth. Kind of share them. Yeah, share them. Munch on them. Not the same ones. Barf them up in breakfast. Not the same ones. It was never like a Second City TV skit or something where we both wake up at the same time. Wow! What did you see? I saw this. Now, John, in a lot of ways, exercise, I think, exercise a lot of your nightmares. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. Oh, yeah. Because he's a sweetie. He's such a sweetheart. And you wouldn't even think that this guy could write the horrible things that he does. Where does that come from? I mean, does it come from... Did you see a lot of violence in the streets of New York? Not having nightmares. Where was it pulled from? Well, I'll tell you. When I was really young, most people don't remember things that happened when they were, like, two or two and a half. But I have actual recollections of... I had a fever so bad that they had to do the Jacob's Ladder thing where they filled the ice... Ice and dunked you? Yeah. They do that to crazy people. Yeah. Yeah, because my fever was really popping. But at this point, there were, like, these rat things with long legs coming down the walls at me. And when they threw me in the water, in the ice water, the rats hit the water and disappeared. It was like those M.C. Escher drawings. I don't know if you know him. Oh, yes. Yeah. Where, like, the lizard is circling in on the edge of a piece of paper, and then it becomes... It becomes a part of the fabric of the design. A bird kind of... Right. Yeah, so that's what was happening. So after that, I was just scared of the dark. I was scared of weird noises. If I was watching cartoons and a commercial for Frankenstein came on, I would freak and scream and hide under a table. And this went on for a couple of years until I got really scared of being scared all the time and started deliberately watching monster movies. We had a ghost host named Dr. Cadaverino in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, when I was a little kid. And he had, you know, the little beakers that were foaming, and he had the styrofoam tombstones and just all the, you know, the stupid ghost host shit that's so much fun. And he was really great because he would... Listening to him talk and describe the movies, you got a sense of what movies were actually good and scary and what were just, like, completely stupid. And so I came to understand, you know, at a very early age, that just because... Because it said Frankenstein in the title didn't mean it was good. Right, right. It might be really great and have Boris Karloff, or it might be, like, this, you know, third-rate piece of shit. Anybody playing Frankenstein, right? Absolutely, yeah. You know, somebody squirted it out in their lunch. And then I moved to Argentina, where I did see people die in the streets. I would think that, yeah. There was a lot of violence going on. Absolutely. So, like, at the age of eight, I saw my first people die. For, like, close, real close? Yeah. Like what? Like piles of bodies, or...? Basically, the first people... I was coming back from the airport. We had just landed and gone through customs and been loaded into our little car, and we were driving to our new home in Argentina. And I look up, and a bus is going off the side of this bridge. And so there were people screaming, and this huge dust cloud, and a couple people, their faces had actually broken through the window, and so they're bloody and screaming, and I'm like, what? And I turn and point, and then we go under the bridge, and our car doesn't stop. So, yeah, I mean, I'm in the country less than half an hour when I see my first dead people. Then we moved to this neighborhood called... Oh, man. Okay, San Isidro. We were three train stops away from La Lucila, where I went to the American kids' school. I had to wear a little uniform with a tie, and all that shit. And between my house and the train station, there was this car that was parked in front of a bodega. A couple of idiots thought that robbing a bank would be a good idea, and since this was a country where even traffic cops carry submachine guns, it was not a good idea. They Bonnie and Clyded the fuck out of this car. I mean, it was just completely Swiss-cheesed, and, I mean, hundreds of bullet holes. And they left it parked on the street, and they were in there for like a year. With them in there? Like a warning? No, they took the bodies out. Oh, they took the bodies. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it was like a medieval... I thought they were gonna leave it there. Don't rob banks, or this will happen. But it was a warning. Watch the bodies leaving the car. It was totally a warning. It's like, yeah, don't piss us off, because we'll kill the shit out of you. Wow. And so as a little kid, I would go there, and I was nine years old, being a forensic pathologist, looking through this bullet hole in the door, and going, oh, and that's where it went through the seat. It must have hit them there, and that's where it comes out here. So, you know, I'll really look at this thing. A close examination of death probably helped you later on become a horror writer, really looking that closely at detail. Absolutely. Well, and the fact that I was fascinated by it in the first place, and then it was there. I mean, I don't think anybody would be a horror writer if horrible shit didn't happen in the world, but the fact that we live in a world in which horrible things happen means that some of us feel the need to address it, or face it, or try to make sense of it somehow, and that was certainly what happened to me. Yeah. Then, like, a couple months later, I watched a little boy get beaten to death by other little boys with his own shoeshine box on the train platform while I was going to school. He was a really cute little kid, little blonde boy. You couldn't jump in or help? No, I was on the other side of the tracks. And they just wanted his money? They wanted his shoeshine stuff? No, they were sick of the fact that all the Americans wanted their shoes shined by this little kid who could barely carry his wooden shoeshine box. So they were mad at the Americans? They were mad at him for getting all the business. Ah. So they beat him to death with his shoebox and then ran off. I never saw those kids again, but... I mean, he was dead. Oh, they killed him. They killed the shit out of him. And so, yeah, I saw a lot of death at a very young age, and then the day I left the country a couple years later, I was at the school, or I had just left school. There was a friend's birthday party in seventh grade. Friend's birthday party a couple blocks from school. And so I go there, and all of a sudden the phone rings, and it's my dad, and he says, you have to leave right now. And I go, what do you mean? We haven't opened the presents yet. And he says, you have to leave right now. And my dad never called for any reason, so this was obviously important. And I go, bye, you guys. I'll see you tomorrow. I get on the train, grumble, grumble, go to downtown Buenos Aires, where I lived, get off the train, and people are running and freaking out everywhere. And I'm like, what is going on? I go outside. There are tanks, armored tanks, rolling down the street towards me, and guys with machine guns flanking them. It was like, I don't know if you ever saw The Pianist, the Roman Polanski film when the Nazis invade the Polish ghetto. That's what it felt like. It felt a lot like The Pianist because there was no John Williams, Spielberg music playing. It was just freaking out people on the street. Fortunately, the thousands of people who were running were running. They were running in the direction of my apartment. So I just ran with the thousands of people with the tanks on our ass. Went to my apartment and took the elevator up, opened the door to the apartment, and the apartment was empty. There was not a stick of furniture in it. There was nothing in it. Whoa. And I'm like, shit. Go into the living room. It's like a railroad apartment, so there's a living room and then a long hallway with the bedrooms at the far end. I look down the hallway. There's nothing. But there's a couple of men speaking Spanish, and I see some shadows moving on the wall. And then I recognize my dad's voice. I go down there. The only thing left in the apartment was one box of my creepy and eerie magazines. And my dad said, you can take one. So I took the latest issue of eerie magazine. We took the service elevator down to a sedan with blacked-out windows and drove down to La Boca, which is the mouth of the Rio de la Plata, that separates Argentina from Uruguay. Got on the ferry and got the fuck out of town. Meanwhile, those tanks went to surround the presidential mansion, the Casa Rosada, or the Pink House, and they basically said, okay, Presidente Onganía, you can either get a helicopter and fly out of here and you will no longer be president, or we will kill you and you will no longer be president. So he took the helicopter, and he got out, we got out, a lot of people didn't get out. Did you ever find out what happened at the birthday party? Did any of those people? I never saw any of those people again. Wow. That was it. That was it. And all of our shit went into storage into a warehouse in Buenos Aires, which was promptly burned to the ground, so we lost everything. It was pretty exciting. And how old were you when you left? 13. I had just turned 13. So enough to really retain what you saw. Sure. Sure. Absolutely. So, yeah, and then I got back to the States, and the first thing I saw was a bunch of people. And the first movie I see is Woody Allen's Bananas, which was about the Generalissimo of the month... Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. The Generalissimo of the month club, where Howard Cosell comes out and says, and here's tonight's general, and he comes out to the steps and immediately gets shot by another guy who becomes the next general, and they shoot him, and then another guy comes out. So, and then I go, immediately started hanging out with the hippies and shit, because they were anti-war, and if there was one thing I had come to learn, it was a... It was a healthy respect for... Or disrespect for authority. And sure as shit, I go to D.C., to the Washington Monument to protest the war, and there's soldiers with guns. So it's like, man, what country am I in? And, yeah, and... Well, you've had the... I've been pissed off ever since. You've had all the... Horrific. Seeing all the violence there in Argentina, and I'm curious, because we've got whores and whores. Do you remember... Did you see sex on the... Did you see sex on the streets as a kid in Argentina also? No. Nothing like that? I'll tell you, the only time I ever saw anything like that, except for like at a party where we played spin the bottle under a blanket or something... Doesn't count. Yeah, totally doesn't count, was down at La Boca, where we wound up fleeing the country, but there was this one restaurant that we went to occasionally where everybody got hammered. And so I did see a couple people groping each other out on the cobblestone streets outside of... outside of that particular restaurant. There was no drinking age in Argentina, so the little kids were hammered too. Hammered? Yeah, it was very... But when you ended up with all these hippies, is that when all of the... I would say you saw more... more sex kind of coming around, less violence? Oh, well, yeah. During those times? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, when I was nine or 10, my friend Donald Hunt had a best friend... No, he was one of my best friends. He had an older brother who was going to college in Berkeley, California. And would send care packages of Frank Zappa and Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin and all the cool stuff that was happening. I couldn't wait to get back to the States and smoke pot. I was so excited. It was like, this is gonna be really great. So when I got back to the States, of course, guess what I did? But... Well, being a horror writer has its perks, since we're talking about sex. Let's get nicer... Yeah, I'm trying to get how they come together. Well, they come together also, because John's a rock star. A rock star? When he became a splatter punk, I know this, because I met him as a splatter punk, but he's got a whole following, much the way that we have followings. You know, the adult stars have fans. He's got fans. I got laid a lot. He got laid... I went to a few conventions with him, and even... It doesn't matter if I was around or not. The lines around the block for him to sign books are via that of John Holmes or Marilyn Chambers or anybody else there to... sign or autograph their magazines. John and his partner were extremely, extremely popular, and the women, the women, you know, panty throwing and... I never got any panties thrown at me, but I did sign some boobs. Yeah, definitely signed some boobs. Were there any scary moments? Any scary, sexy moments? You mean in my life or...? Yeah, we're just kind of... Yeah, asking about... Say sexy or scary. You keep wanting to push the two together. Both. We discussed some scary things, some scary moments, because it's horrors and horrors. Right. So we still want to keep it sexy. Well, not really quite sexy, but within the sex and horrible, like horrible kind of scary thing that happened. I'll tell you, honestly, in my life, I like to keep horror and sex as far away from each other as possible. I like sex... So like comedy and sex, sometimes they just do not mix so well. Yeah, although I'd rather laugh in bed than be stabbed in the eyeballs in bed. It's just, you know, one of my rules. Okay, listen, we're actually... This was so fast and frantic and fun. We're going on another break. Okay, I'll stick around some more. Let's one more time give you your ID numbers, where we can get ahold of you, John. I'm at... On Twitter? On Twitter as yourpalSkipYER. Y-E-R? Yes. Not Y-O-U-R? No, just Y-E-R. Oh, see, okay, I had it written down wrong. Y-E-R. Skip, S-K-I-P-P. S-K-I-P-P, yourpalSkip. Okay, Y-E-R. And... And I'm on Facebook under my actual name, John Skip. Are there a lot of John Skips? I believe I'm the only one. No, actually, there's a Tracy John Skip who's like an architect or something, and he must really hate me. Right. Because any check for John Skip, I come up first. All right. There's also a guy who does surfboards. Stay tuned. Oh, that's a good one. We'll be back. Thank you. All right. So is that enough? Yes. mö mö mö mö mö Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hello, this is Kelly Nichols. I'm Stevie. And we're talking to John Skip on Blame It On Ginger. And Ginger's not with us right now. She's up in Canada. She's in Canada. Yeah. doing a signing or something like that she didn't leave me where she was at i guess i could check her twitter and find out where she's at she's having a good time wherever she's not here so she's obviously having a good time a better time than us yes if you're in canada google her and run down there and check out all of her photos and which is movies and everything so anyway we're here with john skip the horror writer and my friend and uh what do you have there john to share with us here a bunch of crazy um um one of the things that i wanted to share with you is uh the rest of uh the gang over at uh eraser head press the the bizarro the bizarro yes and so i wanted to show you a couple of titles from my personal collection that i thought you might enjoy the first one here is an anthology called in heaven everything is fine oh i read it wrong i thought it said everything is on fire fiction inspired by david lynn lynch and uh how does something inspire david lynch is it lynchian and that the it's got the vision from the films or um well nobody did any particular riffs on the films exactly uh even um laura barr who wrote haunt she's got a story in there called uh blue velvet cake but it's not a riff on uh blue velvet is actually more like uh a riff on robert blake who uh who killed his wife after appearing in the lost highway um but it's this really haunting amazing uh story some of them are you know about disintegrating personality or you know what is reality the the underpinnings of of uh lynch my particular story was um about um there's something scary well basically it's about how movies are are born and uh directing from the unconscious which is what lynch likes to do where he rather than coming up with a conventional script he lets the ideas that he's lazy yes he's a he's a lazy fuck and nobody likes him you never know where the where it's going well well the thing is is that he he writes from the unconscious he he pulls these images he gets these ideas and he strings them together in ways that mystify us um but he it's just that his perspective is so fascinating uh and his technique is so great that it's unique we want to go in there and find out what he's doing he's got a really distinguishable uh aesthetic so anyway it's a really good book um then you've got super fetus super fetus you've got to see this cover this is amazing it's some kind of bizarre little demon cherub coming out between a woman's legs is that what it is yeah basically uh his mom is a crack horn for the sing from sex his mom is a crack horror and an idiot wants to abort him but he is one tough fetus so he's a little bit more of a jack-o-lantern i don't know if you've heard of jack-o-lantern So he's fighting everything that comes into... So it's a nice story. Oh, that's funny. Coat hanger, fuck that. Okay. I'll bend that into a dog. There's going to be a doctor with a coat hanger in his eye going... Don't fuck with super fetus. So I mentioned Carlton Millick III earlier. His first book, Satan Burger, was one for him on the map. Satan Burger? Oh, my God. What is on the cover there? That is like crazy. Somebody squatting? What is that? I can't quite tell. It would appear to be somebody squatting. Is that the photographer who does with the Hershey syrup? I don't know, but yeah, it's squatting over a dinner plate. Oh, no. Then it would be no. That may be where the burger comes from. I'm not sure. Anyway, he also did The Haunted Vagina. Right, as we spoke of before. His horror work includes the classic Ape Shit. Ape Shit. That's the one I need to read. And its sequel, Clusterfuck. Oh, he's not... He's not even trying. Oh, he's trying really hard. Oh, please. This guy's got the best titles in the world. They're good, but come on. Well, you're really going to like Zombies and Shit. Which is really a great book. It's like Battle Royale. Look at my manager. I'm phoning this in. It's a great book. Zombies and Shit. Zombies and Shit. Oh, that's great. That is good. It's really funny. One of my favorite things about Zombies and Shit is when a guy is being attacked by Mexican zombies, they don't know what to do. They don't yell brains. They yell cerebros. Cerebros. Cerebros. With ceviche. So, yeah, it's a really good book. Oh, gosh. Brains and fish. Put lime on it and cook it. My other contribution to Bizarro was the Emerald Burrito of Oz, which I wrote with my friend Mark Leventhal. He used to play in the band Green Jello. Do you remember Three Little Pigs? Little Pigs. Little Pigs let me in. Little Pigs let me in. Green Jello. Yeah, he wrote that shit. Yeah, he wrote that shit. And I read that book. And that is really, if you're going to say Bizarro, that is very bizarre. Thank you. Well done. No, well done. Let me back off a little bit. It's my favorite book that I've ever worked on because it just has a really nice spirit. It's still ultra violent and crazy, but it's really cheerful about it. Did you find like any kind of resurgence of interest after, say, Wicked came out? Because that was such an askew tale of the Wizard of Oz as kind of this book is too. Yeah, well, no, that was released by a giant company. And got a lot of attention. Well, yeah, but I mean, it kind of pointed the direction back to Oz as just being retold. Did you find anybody kind of like pointing to your book going, not as much as I would have liked to. Yeah, I mean, like Oz the Great and Powerful movie came out that bumped our sales a little bit. When that TV thing Tin Man came on. Right. Zoe, that Chanel was in it. Yeah, I did not much care for it myself. I didn't either. Yeah. I never saw it. That was a stinker. But anyway, Emerald Burrito of Oz basically happens after the government admits that Oz is real and there really is a gate and it's in Kansas and you can go over there as a tourist. Yeah, it's pretty cool. And what happens when a young woman moves over there and starts the first Mexican restaurant in Oz, which is called the Emerald Burrito. It's kind of fantasy, kind of science fiction. Oh, God. Okay, back to fantasy. It's pretty cool. Yeah. And the weird thing is because Wicked just turned. It turned into a whole Wicked, Wicked. I would just, that would be so amazing if you got something off of that because people should really be. The Emerald Burrito of Oz musical? Well, not turned into a musical, but Wicked just came. I mean, I couldn't believe the book went into a musical and the fact that like it has all these little Wickedites that they would love Emerald Burrito. I think a lot of people would like Emerald Burrito. And it does heavily involve music. The same woman who starts the Emerald Burrito also brings over the first Walkman. So she plays the first Earth music and then like electric guitars start growing wild and some other shit happens. So anyway, it's a really nice book. It's very cute. I still have my first Walkman, my first Sony Walkman. Of course you do. There you go. Last couple of bizarros I'm going to point out. Cameron Pierce is one of the most interesting authors in that field. Young man who also runs Lazy Fascist Press. And he edited the... The Lynch Anthology. A couple of his titles include The Pickled Apocalypse of Pancake Island. Where did these titles come from? Oh my God. And Ass Goblins of Auschwitz. Oh, I want a t-shirt. That is amazing. What is an ass goblin? Ass goblin is something that's living upside your ass. Oh my God. Probably has teeth. I can see it now. It's kind of troll-like. He's a looker. Trolls in the butt. Trolls in the butt. Trolls in the butt. What else we got here? Bradley Sands Fine Collection. Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy. How do you do that? I don't know. How do you ruin an orgy? You just don't participate. Read this book and find out. You don't participate. Yeah, that's how you ruin it. You fart a lot. Oh my, it depends. You know, it might be somebody... Some people are into that. Oh my God, no. Okay, then you don't fart. Speaking of farting. Depends on... Oh, it's not. Okay. No, he just... The next title. Night of the Assholes. Oh. Like I said. Kevin L. Donaghy is a really fine book. It's like Night of the Living Dead, except for instead of zombies, it's assholes. They're all assholes? Yeah, and assholes are attacking, and if you try to fight back, you turn into an asshole too, so it's a really bad situation. And what is their buzzword? What do they say instead of brains? They say, fuck you, man. You're the jerk. They're assholes. And you have to be nice to them to get them to go away? And even that doesn't necessarily work. No, that wouldn't work. Yeah. That wouldn't work. You'll turn into an asshole. There has to be some way not to turn into an asshole. Or the world might be doomed. Okay. You know, it could go either way. The world as we know it will end because of the assholes. And the last title from Eraserhead and the gang I'd like to show is Baby's First Book of Seriously Fucked Up Shit by Robert Devereaux, which is a really good book to read to your baby. Your library collection is really messed up too. It's like one sentence or a paragraph. I have the best library ever. Apparently. I have the best library ever. Apparently. Apparently. Apparently. I don't know if there's a paragraph in that really fucked up. Can we hear a part of it? Yeah. Some little... Pull it from anywhere because that is... It's interesting. It's not a children's book, believe it or not, but let me see. It's okay. I don't have children. Yeah, I kind of believe it. It's okay. I just kind of believe it's not a children's book. Something interesting. Even if you just open the book and stick your finger on something, just read two sentences. That's from the Auschwitz... Oh, God, that's so awful. Auschwitz. I forgot what that one was. What's the name of that title, Jen? Ask Goblins of Auschwitz. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I just, I'm offended and I'm tickled at the same time. That is such a word sensation. That's what Pizarro does. It's a mixing of it. I mean, ass goblins actually sound kind of cute. Like, oh, ass goblins. But then Auschwitz just kind of makes it heavy. Ass goblins. Little creepy things hanging out inside your anal cavity. That sounds kind of cute. Hail hemorrhoid. What do you do? I haven't found a sentence for you yet, but one of the stories is called The Slobbering Tongue That Ate the Frightfully Huge Woman. That works. See, that gives us an idea what's in there. Okay, that gives us an idea. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tongue twister. Are you sober? I don't know. Say this sentence. Go for it. So, yeah, anyway, hours of reading pleasure from Eraserhead Press. I love these guys. They have the best attitude of any writers that I've ever met in terms of. You have to. You'd have to because no one's going to take your stuff seriously except other people who have a really great sense of humor. And they're not all rich. It's fun. Right. And even the heartbreaking. One of the interesting things about Bizarro is that a lot of them have a really nice emotional core to them. Underneath all of the crazy shit, there's a sweetness and an emotion to it that really kind of resonates with you. And, yeah, again, they have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Any convention or book fair that you go to, they always have the most colorful, fun table full of titles like this. They're all. And what's the name of the printing press? Eraserhead Press. Eraserhead Press. I'm going to remember that. Yeah. Their horror imprint is called Deadite Press. They have a lazy fascist press, which is more on the kind of literary, cool, weirdo, outsider literary end. And then there's. How many subgenres? It's like amazing. And then my press is Fungasm Press. Fungasm. Which is basically where mainstream and genre hit the totally fucking weird. With horror in there is a large part, right? Or Bizarro Strangeness. It doesn't even have. Fungasm is not so much about the horror as it is about. Really, Laura Barr's book Haunt was one of those books. I read it and I went. She asked me, you know, would you read this and tell me where you think I should send it? And I read it and I went, this is a really great book. But I don't know. I don't know where to recommend that you send it because everybody's going to look at it and go, I don't know what to do with this. So I formed Fungasm Press to publish that book. That's amazing. And she's amazing. I just realized it was Laura Barr. It's Laura Barr. I know. That's, that's, that's crazy. Her book is awesome. She spent seven years writing it. It was like a choose your own adventure novel. But then she took all of the choices out. Right. And so it leaves you in this weird thing where reality keeps shifting out from under you. And yeah, it's so good. I started off as an interactive book. Yeah. And then she pulled that shit out. Oh my God. And it was a great choice. And what would happen? That would be like that. Yeah. It's like, yeah, what would happen except for the element of choice has been removed. And so you're being dragged from reality to reality while it shifts underneath you. And the woman you're obsessed with may or may not be dead. But she did live in your apartment. And yeah, it's really exciting stuff. And as I was looking at it, I was going, you know, this is like the literary equivalent of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Or. Or, you know, other movies that completely defy categorization but wind up being one of your favorite movies precisely because. With heart. Yeah. So that's why I love these guys. That's why I love hanging out with them. I'm more of a bizarro guy than I am a horror guy right now. Wow. Speaking of hanging out, have you gotten to go on any homicide cases? Because I met this guy modeling and he was hired by the FBI to draw people. You know, they give him bones. And he's been pretty accurate. Interesting. He taught down in Irvine. And, you know, it was the most unserious class that I'd ever seen of artists trying to learn how to draw. So I'm standing around. I'm naked waiting for these people to draw me. Okay. And it's so, they're so not into the class that he starts showing me pictures of blood splatters and explaining to me how blood splatter, how to read blood splatters. Yes. He's showing me homicides, murder, you know, like homicide, suicide. And graphic photos that he has. Have you gone and had to go through that as inspiration? You haven't done ride-alongs, right? I never did any ride-alongs. But you have the book. Oh, yeah. I have Medical Legal Investigation of Death Volume 2, which was like the textbook on that stuff up until like 20 years ago when the whole thing boomed. But, yeah, I still have this like 800-page giant. Is that the book? The one with Mr. Page 158 or whatever? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. everything and this one guy rotting gunshot wounds to the face you know all the good stuff like like what would really happen and and no no kind of cover-up or anything and there's this one page that john used to show us uh go ahead john it was basically this this tall lanky uh uh he must he looked cadaverous even in life uh um i'm guessing but he sure looked cadaverous in death and he's laying on this bed and he's got this uh this device that he could work with his knees to ram this giant uh dildo up his own ass which evidently gave him the heart attack uh that killed him and that's where why uh for all eternity he's captured on film with a giant i mean it's like fucking schwarzenegger's forearm right sized enormous dildo uh but doing it to yourself with your knees literally a device so it would fucking he could caught on film caught on film he was filming himself no no no it is still well they caught him okay yeah these are police photographs there's forensic uh pathologist coroner stuff okay um i i know coroners i've been given tapes of like autopsies and shit like that so i've actually watched that stuff i tend not to want to be in that room just because uh i don't like the smell i'm curious what it would awaken as far as your writing though i would what madness would just like real like just seep out of your pores dude i i'm i'm more than crazy enough as it is i there's certain shit i i don't need to see more of i sort of feel like i've sort of suffered enough which is part of why i like the um the bizarro stuff more than the horror at this point uh i've seen so much horrible stuff and i've described so much horrible stuff and i've in the course of writing it you have to feel it but you have one less project coming up now oh um which i'm really this is this is a merging of sex and horrors okay this will make you happy this is one of the films that i'm trying to stick with the theme it's horrors and horrors yeah sorry i have to remember that we don't have to stick to the theme but i'm like it's a noble attempt and we salute you for it um one of the books that that we're trying to turn into films right now uh director andrew cash and i uh we co-direct and um this is a book that i wrote and uh we actually have dan ferens who produced um um hunting in connecticut and is doing the new amityville film uh he is producing with us and we're trying to raise the money right now this one's called the long last call and uh it's basically it takes place uh in a strip club in a strip club at closing time a backward strip club and uh everybody just wants to go home no you know there's like five rednecks there and nobody's spending any money and the girls are they doing the movie are you doing the movie off the book or off your screenplay because i read the screenplay first i wrote the screenplay tried to get the movie made couldn't get the movie made so i wrote the book just so that it would get told once properly right uh and now i'm trying to make the the movie made so i wrote the book again but basically what happens is closing time at a backward strip club all of a sudden a well-dressed stranger with a briefcase full of money comes walking in um and starts tipping like crazy the dancers all wake up and they want a piece of this guy and as much money as they can get but it's closing time so everybody's getting really uptight the dark stranger goes up to the owner of the club and says look i like it here uh how about if i give you five grand for the house thousand dollars for each of the girls you turn off the sign lock the door and you're done the doors and uh we'll just do a little something special and everybody's like yeah and everybody's like oh that sounds really great they don't know that he's not actually a human he's kind of he's a he's a walking scumbag he is a he is a rouse kind of thing right oh yeah it's it's totally a devil story but yeah he's basically a repository for all of the hate and fear and suspicion that men and women uh have for each other and he secretes a slime that comes out of his skin gets on his money and when he hands it to you you start turning into who you really are and considering that this is a backwoods strip club in the middle of the night everybody ain't so hot yeah and bread too and so uh so shit gets ugly really fast and all the dark stranger has to do is sit back and watch while they uh destroy each other and so you have like two girls strippers on stage fighting for the spot like maybe even literally devouring each other because they take it out on you and they're like oh my god i'm gonna kill you there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there we were had our sleeping bags up oh geez how old were you we were i was like in third grade wow second or third grade and we were right up on the tv and um we heard this and then we both looked at each other and we looked back and we're like and we're home alone yeah and all of a sudden you know i flew over the counter and grabbed the knife like you know what could i really do but i grabbed the knife and we went and we waited and we looked and we called the neighbor and the side glass door was open so we never knew who came in but somebody had peeled wow one window came in watched was there watching us sneezed and then ran out the side wow what does that have to do with what we just talked about it was it's a scary little story in there little story yes it just popped into my head while we were talking about all this horror well the weird thing is is that that guy was secreting a slime exactly that got on it's a good thing he didn't touch us yeah i don't even want to know who i am what you turn into yes that would not be good well you would have found out and so young too i'm just thinking it's funny because! i've known a lot of strippers and not all of them are right and just the fact and some of them are actually really nasty pieces of work right and a lot of my lesbians there's something wrong with the lesbian no but i'm just saying a lot of them are well then they'd be more lesbian right um well either that or uh actually you know that that doesn't really get broached there there is a uh a full you said more of what they are or of who they really are on the inside um which if they're really on the selfish side or they they're either selfish because he's a scumbag so it pulls out all that yeah it basically it tends to pull the the dark out a lot more than the light like you said he's a depository of all things bad of human greed and hatred and fear and that's what would come out yeah like and like angry lust as opposed to you know sweet desire or something like that just yeah all the the worst now not everybody in there is crawling with evil and so some of them have some you know some of them have some you know some of them have some kind of surprising stuff coming out of them and some of them uh because most of us i think are you know we have good and bad aspects to us and you need somebody to cheer for otherwise it would just be a dead tale absolutely really negative bad nihilistic um you know which which has its moments right i really enjoyed human centipede too i hated minutes on an eye that was nuts but uh yeah i mean there's no redeeming social value to that thing whatsoever but but this goes back to what the costumes for halloween but go ahead i want one of those fake asses i don't know if you saw like um uh the behind the scenes of human centipede too they uh there's this great thing for the big massacre at the end yeah uh there are all these people and they're incredibly happy they're like yeah we're gonna do it and then you see this line of prosthetic asses there's like 32 prosthetic asses lined up so nobody actually had their face there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there People sit up and notice. Yeah. I think it's amazing. I actually now really, really love this guy. And it just shows how far you have to go to make people sit up and notice. Seriously. Yeah. Ass munching in a line. You need to strap somebody's face directly into somebody else's ass crack to get attention these days. And, you know, it's a really good metaphor for how Hollywood screenwriters are treated. Basically, they'll bring in one and then they'll go, oh, nope, bring in the next one until it's like human centipede, except for with less dignity. Oh, OK. I'm thinking like bring in one like sit there and go, OK, humans. Here's the here's the concept. Human centipede. OK, we'll take it if there's a follow up, if there's a sequel. OK, so. See, that's good business thinking. But that isn't the way films are developed normally in Hollywood. It's more of a literal face to ass kind of a face to ass. That's what you're talking about. Just saying. So was there like that? Did you like that? I've never seen it, but I met the guy. I met the guy. He was sitting there at Days of the Dead. And I walked up to him and I saw some pictures and he had this really interesting look. Did anything tell you this might be fun to watch? No, I didn't know what it was. I have no idea. Human centipede. The picture says it all. It's so hard because for me, horror. When I first started watching horror, you know, like my mom took me to go see The Fog. The Fog was scary. And think about men in the fog with hooks. Right. And the lighthouse. And then it was like Silent Scream where they kept this girl and I don't know, like people were dead. And they had made them up with makeup or something. Was it your second movie? Yeah. And then there was like the Changeling. There was a wheelchair. Yes. There was a Changeling. A wheelchair that would like chase you down the stairs or something. And that scared me. It's a great movie. George C. Scott. So you didn't really jump onto. I didn't really get to see all these. I saw horror, but it was, for me, it was Friday the 13th. It was the Halloweens. It was, that scared me where it was like, you run up. Like I love. And then Campy came with like. Like Hell Night with Linda Blair in the house. Well, Centipede's more current. Centipede's more current, but I haven't gone. The reason I don't go to horror movies now is because I need something. If I'm going to see a horror movie that is going to scare me so bad that I want to cry. And so that's why I jump into vans. Because vans for me are more fun to jump into than a movie. You jump into vans. I don't have to pay to jump into a van. It's a don't horror movie. What the fuck are you talking about? What is jumping into a van? Like I jumped into this van with this guy. He seemed really cool. He was playing pool. Was he driving the van as you jumped in? No, no, no. He was in the bar and I asked the guy who owned the place. I said, is he okay? Because he'd show me pictures of his friends. He told me he was in antiques and I was like, I love antiques. So he's like, let's go to the beach. We went to the beach. He opened up the side of the van and I'm watching it and it's really beautiful. It's nice warm night. The waves are crashing and this electric blue is just flashing through the waves. You know what? We're going to have to pause it. I'm going to finish telling this tale. Oh, God damn it. On the other side. I know we're going to have to, but we have to do this. Oh yeah. Screaming O here. The screaming O. So John Skip, thank you so much. You're welcome. It was so much fun having you. Again, your pal Skip, at your pal Skip, right? At Twitter? At Twitter. And that's Y-U-R? Y-E-R. Y-E-R. Y-E-R. And he's also on Facebook as John Skip, S-K-I-P-P. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. See you guys later. Yes, thank you. Bye sweetie. Ah. And we have Climax Cream, which I am going to take a sample home and try. Oh, you're not going to try it here? We had to try it here. I know, but I can't. I don't have enough time and we have a writer in here, in the room. I can't be putting creams on myself. All right. Well, I did try it and I found it to be really interesting. And not interesting in a bad way, like you say, what an interesting date, but in a good way in that like it got hot, but not really hot. And then it was warm and at that time, oh, I know it was the first time I read one of my Scream Queen, my first one. Oh. The first one, which I didn't read again. This is your... And I was reading it and I actually got, I think, more tingling than I would have normal because I had the cream on. What else have you got there on your finger? What is that? I have, what is this? This is a blingo. A blingo? Yes, right. It's like from the hood. Blingo. Blalala. I could knock somebody out with it. Blalala. But it also has a powerful vibrator, which like the other things does, it goes higher. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's a vibrator. It's a vibrator. It's a vibrator. It's a vibrator. It's a powerful vibrator, which like the other things does, it goes higher. I don't know if this one goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, because one of them does. But this, wow. Oh, this is neat because it's really powerful. Feel that. Oh. Oh, that's good. And this is basically a glorified, a good glorified Cochrane with this. I mean, what woman wouldn't say? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I would definitely say yes. This is... And this other one here. Oh, this is the big O. Let's see. What is this? The ultimate vibrating ring because there's a smaller one and I don't know what that's called. Is it stronger than this? I like the blingo. No, this ringo. I see. What is this? Wait, I've got this all. Blingo. I like the blingo. Blingo as in bling. That's nice. And then this is the ultimate. The ultimate. The ultimate vibrating ring. Wow. Feel this. You get the little one. Oh, okay. This is the bigger one. This one's like for a lady's hand. It's like a bracelet. But this one is like really actually very strong. This is... You'd have to have like a large cock that would really take this. Feel that. Oh, yeah. This really needs... This would really keep the blood in there. This is the kind you need. This is the kind... Yeah, you would notice. I meet a lot of these guys that need these blingos and ringos. This is perfect. I'm going to stock up on these and have them on hand. Oh, the little one? No, the both of them. Every single size. What kind of guys are you dating? I meet guys who just can't... I can't put that much into it. It's too much acting on my part. To keep them excited. So with the screaming oh, they're going to help me out a lot. There you go. This lingo, the blingo, the big oh. And I find these do work on a guy. They do hold... Hold the blood in there. I recall anyway, especially back in the old days. Which is strange, you know, because I meet a lot of guys in their... You know, they're still in their 20s and in their 30s and they're still having performance problems. Well, not even performance problem, but let's say you want to go for a long time. Back when I was working in front of the camera, some of the guys would wear a very... Thin... Ring? Wrap. Ring. I remember people asking for my hair ties. And would hold... They'd stay engorged. And this is what this does. I had a friend who... She had all these expensive... And helps the ladies. Oh. Helps the ladies. So anyway, we'll be back. Stay with us for Blame It On Ginger. mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö and you know what you added here. That's at gingerlynauctions.com. She was shining like a star The beads of sweat were glistening As she and I were christening My car in Shangri-La And as it was in the tradition We'd run the conflict out From routines to acrobatic and bizarre She said, now show me what you've got She looked so purely hedonistic As my insides went ballistic For the money shot And as the rhapsody subsided Dewey-eyed and thoughtfully spoken She confided her mistake Guided plans and me And she smiled like a child And she said I want to live a life of sin I want to be like gingerlyn La-da-dee, la-da-dai Surrendered to the force of life within I want to be like gingerlyn La-da-dee, la-da-dai She'd always been a wandering vine She grew up fast and filled out faster As she soon became The master of the finish line And while she lacked sophistication There would be no limitations To the lengths of deprivation in her prime She said, I'll be the bluest movie queen I'll live a life that's so divine Just sipping wine and blowing lines With Charlie Sheen I'll be in her prime time In all the magazines They'll tell me no one's looked so fine In 69 since Tracy Lord's was sweet 16 And she smiled like a child When she said I want to live a life of sin I want to be like gingerlyn La-da-dee, la-da-dai Surrendered to the force of life within I want to be like gingerlyn La-da-dee, la-da-dai Surrendered to the force of life within I want to be like gingerlyn La-da-dee, la-da-dai Surrendered to the force of life within I want to be like gingerlyn Well, she can take it like a champ I want to be like gingerlyn She'll be the world's most famous tramp I want to be like gingerlyn They'll put her picture on a stamp I want to be like gingerlyn I want to be like you. Is that better? Oh, there I am. This is Kelly Nichols. This is Blame It On Ginger. And Ginger's in Canada right now. So I've taken over her show. And here comes Stevie. He went out to take care of business. I did. And here's my co-host, Stevie. Hello, everybody. Okay. So we just had a really nice guest, John Skip, a horror writer. Tie in our horrors and horror. And that was a fun visit. Learned a lot. It was a lot of fun. I didn't know what he was going to talk about. He has a lot. He's got books. He was... He's a writer. He's a screenwriter. He directs. I mean... And I've known him for years. Real nice guy. As you can see, a really nice guy who writes about really horrible, horrible things. And you can't even figure the two come together. But they do so nicely. Yes. I, you know, I never get the chance, Kelly, to talk about you. We never get to go deep inside Kelly. And on the way here, I love this. We can't go into this here, but I had asked you about awards you'd won. We talked about makeup. Right. And you told me this story about In Love, which I want to see after you told me the whole story about it. Oh, yeah. I was telling you the story of what I did in In Love, because you said, what's the one you won Best Actress? I said, In Love. And then I started describing it to you, how a boy meets a girl. And I said, Jerry Butler. And somehow in your head, when you were driving... We said Jerry Butler and I fell in love. And I had already... I was in traffic. So I was... I'm like, oh, my gosh. I'm getting this story. So I'm telling him, like, we met over a weekend. We met. We met. And then we fell in love. And then we split up. And then Jerry had... A burger stand. A burger stand. And then I was on a commune. And I got busted for drugs. And I was in jail. And I was going to prison. And then time had passed. And then we were in an airport. I had written this book. And there was a picture of me in the back. And Jerry looked over and saw me. And you started going, what? That's where I was like, wait a minute. This isn't making sense. How do you... You're describing it as if you're watching it. But I'm thinking it was this... The romance between you and Jerry. Between me and Jerry. And it was just describing this silly film I was in. But I can't wait to see it. Because you were telling me the director for it actually won a lot of awards. Yes. He's a gay director. And I'm going to be in New York for a special series that's... Is there a date on that? Yes. I believe it's the second weekend in June. And they do these really amazing movies that are like basically art films. They... They... Deal with a lot of 80s films, adult films, as if they're like forgotten pieces of art. And a lot of them are. A lot of them really hold up to scrutiny. And it's the films of gay directors who have done adult. And Chuck was very prolific in that. Chuck Vincent? Yes. He worked with Veronica Hart, Samantha Fox, myself. So many people won so many awards. And he's going to have a whole day to himself. Where they're going to like play his movies. Janie's going to be out there. Veronica Hart. I've got to fly to New York for this. Jerry Butler. I'm missing all the fun stuff. Larry Ravine, a cameraman. I mean, they take it very seriously. Any chance that they'll bring it to Los Angeles? Yes, as a matter of fact. The thing is it's gotten... 80s porn has become... Had this whole resurgence. Because what's happening right now with porn is the actresses don't seem to stick around long enough to get big names. There is no real way to be a big name when all you're doing is filming a lot of scenes. And the computer internet is just so crammed full of porn. You can't keep track. And back then you were able to keep track of us because at least at first we were on... In films. You've got a box office. And then after that when it went to DVDs, you had a following or even VHS. You had big budgets behind you and you created whole films and you were allowed to be a legend for a while. And there's none of that. So people nowadays like they want. They want. The story. And they want to follow somebody, an icon. And so they've thrown it back to us again. You know, we're going, what? I was done with that. What? You want me to do what? Get back in my tired old G-string and do what? And do that again? You know, tonight, speaking of art, there's... It's the Art Walk is tonight downtown between Spring, Main, 2nd and 7th Street. And is that for a special cause or... No, no. Every second Thursday downtown is the Art Walk. So the galleries are open. I just popped into a gallery. Oh, I know. That's what you're talking about. Right. And who knows? I always wonder when we're in a gallery, how many dominatrixes there are walking around, you know, enjoying the art, getting maybe some of their... Do you find a lot of the art is S&M oriented? Not really, but I find a lot of artists to be a little tiny bit into the kink. So you think kink dominatrix? Dominatrix. I'm thinking there might be. I mean, you've been a dominatrix before, right? I've been a dominatrix. I had a site with... Taylor St. Clair called Pure Domination. It was a brainchild where we thought, well, we're both porn stars and we both dabbled in domination. I was hired to do a series of films for a couple different companies and I really got behind it. I like using my mouth to talk. And I mean, talk a lot and talk fast and talk hard and I was good at it. And it kind of got me off. And not so much the degrading, but just like, do it, put it down. It's kind of emphatic. Being in that character, that part of your personality. Very much a character. I really, really... It was a mask I could put on, even better than with Kelly sometimes. Because Kelly was just kind of a dimension of myself and this was a real character. I could hide behind and do whatever I want and like push the little buttons and have the arms wave kind of thing. So when you have a slave, would you say... Did you have your slaves naked or dressed usually? Usually. Taylor was more in charge of that. Because I handled girls, she handled boys. And sometimes we both did boys. But the most humiliating in some ways is to start them off in their own skin. There's nothing they can hide behind. No clothes. Not humiliating as much as basic. You get down to basics by keeping someone in their skin. They can't wriggle out of it. It's like a spotlight on a bug. I would keep putting clothes on them. I'd be like, oh my gosh. No, they can hide. They can wriggle. See what you look like under there. Put that jacket on. Put those pants on. Oh, I'm so disgusted. Put another thing on. You gotta understand, the ultimate person in control is the submissive. It's about their pleasure. It's not even as much as ours. Oh, okay. Okay, so it's like... Put it all wrong. We really, really want them to feel humiliated. We want them to feel naked. We want them to feel... So we're kind of going out of our way to make them feel a certain way. So in some ways, they exert control on us. Okay. That's why they always... They always say the sub is more in control than the dominant. Well, I guess because if you're not tied up, you could just walk. Well, there's that. I guess you both could walk. I mean, it depends. I mean, that's why they have safe words. Okay. So would your... Depending on if you're with a man or a woman, would you have them kneel and look down? That's a good starting place because at some point, you start at some place and you work up. So you start them in a kind of like... Let's say on the ground. At your feet. That's a good starting place. Whether they're kneeling. Yeah, kneeling because then you can have them stand up and follow you around you. But when they're kneeling, it's kind of like, okay, they're folded. They're in one spot. From that place, I can go anywhere. And that would apply for male or female. And then where do you go usually? Well, if they're kneeling, I mean, also, are they looking at you? Are they not looking at you? That's the thing. Do they know that? Do they get a piece of paper that says, do not look at your mistress? No, they generally do not. I mean, there might be some establishments that handle it like that. They handle a piece of paper, check, check, check, check. No. So they know the rules going in, kind of? Not so much in my experience do I find that happening. It was certainly when I was working with other people like that, that we didn't. We had a safe word. Is that the fun in the training? Is that part of the training of a slave? Now you're talking about a school and a slave, and that's something I didn't get into training a slave. I got into where an actual, someone would want the experience. So there's a difference between training a slave, where you literally train them what to do, what to say, what to clean, or giving someone the experience. And that was what I used to love to do. So when a slave needs to relieve themselves, were you so much that you had to tell them when they could and when they couldn't? Everything, if you're doing this by the book, they need to ask your permission. Can I, any movement, whether it's look up, look at me, can I do this? Can I relieve myself? It's, they need permission. That's, that's where the stumbling block, but it shouldn't be a stumbling block. That's where you, that's the training, but it's also part of the experience. You can't do anything without my okay. What is the diet of a slave? What is the diet of a slave? Yeah, because whatever they're eating before they walk in the room. Do they provide the food that they'll be eating? Now we're talking about a lifestyle. When we've had doms on before, where whatever you're pointing to, I'm not reading. Oh, well, I have this list of things because I'm not very familiar with it. It says, cannot eat or drink without express. Okay. We had a dominatrix and she was talking about a lifestyle. When you talk about lifestyle, you're talking about slaves living with you, being trained. So then you would take on their diet with the experience, whatever they ate, a cheeseburger before they walked in the room. My experience is going to be an hour, two hours with you. This is my experience. So you're asking me what I've done. I'm saying like, you know, are you telling them you can only eat this for the next hour? If I was a lifestyle, more like what they, uh, are dressed as for an hour or something, the diet doesn't matter. If I was a lifestyle dominatrix, then I would very much be involved with what they ate, what they ate out of or from, or were allowed to feed somebody else. You know, food would be an integral part of like, you know, uh, permission for me. And then you do. So what's a session or it's called a session. It's called a session. What would be a session that you remember that you liked one that you liked and one that you didn't like? One that was very, you know what? One that was very frustrating for you as starting out. Something that was really frustrating and then that you got finesse, that you were an expert by the time you were done. Well, I wouldn't say, two different things. So let's just start with one that's like, was very frustrating and then turned to be like, I can't go there. Taylor and I were dominating a man and we were going to film it for our site. And Taylor didn't tell me that he liked to have lit, cigars put out on his ass. On his, on his cheeks or on his, in his hole? In his hole. Oh, wow. Look at that. And yeah, it was pretty and it just, it kept building and I didn't know where it was going because she was smoking a cigar. He was bent over. And then I got a look at his whole region and it was scarred, almost scarred shut. And he was- That's what I was thinking, like cauterized. Cauterized, exactly. And he was really ready for it. And I realized, I literally took a powder and stood behind a column because I couldn't watch it done. But I realized that like one other time when she had me fist fuck a guy and I was just like, I was mortified because I didn't want to hurt him. But he, like this guy, was ready for it. He was loosened up. It's something that happened all the time to him. He liked puppet shows. He liked puppet shows and he was loose. I wasn't going to like disturb or cause pain to him. And I get the feeling that when she put out the cigar on his ass that it was like, oh well, ho hum, you know, sizzle, sizzle. Did he scream or was he in ecstasy? Was it like a nice- Moaned, moaned. I think it was ecstasy. Ecstasy. So that would probably see, that was like a kind of a downer for me because it just wasn't, it didn't seem like a true, to me, dominatrix would be messing with your mind. And that was very physical, you know, it wasn't fucking with him. Yeah, I didn't know if you were going to go there with some neo-spy. You know, spore in or put some rubbing alcohol on it. Right, well, that would be kind of fucking with him, but I still think you get inside your slave's head and they don't know what to expect and what they can do and they can't do. Or when you're going to, you could walk away and never say when you're coming back because, and they can't ask. You, they can't go, am I going to be here for how long? Which I, I got traffic. They can't say anything. So this is a mind fuck. And that's part of the process. It really is to me is besides getting in character is, I am messing with your head and you don't know what I'm going to do next. And you can't ask. And do you, do you write about these things? I've written about them. I've written much the way I've written the scream queen. I've done a lot of writing of fantasies, everything for myself. I write up my own fantasies and jerk off to them. When was the last time like you were jerked off to a fantasy? Oh my God, last week. Last week, and was that, which fantasy was that? Let's see. I'm in the future. This is easy. I write it out too. And as I'm writing, I get all squirmy, but I'm in the future and I'm the only woman and there's, how convenient. Actually there's two women. There's another one, but, but she's not so, she's older and she's with these guys and they're kind of thuggish. And they found me, you know, rogue, like a boy and his dog only like this is way darker. And they have me tied up. And they're talking about different ways that they're going to like molest me. And, and, and they do. And I literally am writing these different scenarios of like how they take me and how they rate me and how they, they just humiliate me. And then the girl comes over and she, she starts like grinding her pussy into my face. And meanwhile, the guy behind is taking me from behind and fucking me really hard. So like when he's fucking me really hard, my face is grinding even further into her face. And then both guys on either side are grabbing my arm, and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get you. And then both guys on either side are grabbing my arm, and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get you. And there he is. mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö mö I don't know how if I'd have you done gang bangs before? The most I've done gang bangs is like me and two guys. That's it, but not like 10 guys. No, it's like a rape fantasy. I mean, I've actually had, unfortunately, that experience, but I don't know if a rape fantasy is something that, Ginger says she would love to do it, and it sounds like she's got the head for it. But it's role play. It's role play. She makes it very clear that it's more role play. The one that she really wanted to do involved a lot of throwing around and really doing it. She wanted the experience, and having been through it, I don't know if I'd want the experience. Just like gang banging is something that, like, in my fantasies, it's hot, and I get wet, and I can come so crazy. Because my fantasy, right now, I'm not with anybody, and I'm not doing anybody, and I am just all about the fantasy and coming and coming and coming and coming. And so I write for myself. I mean, it's an interesting concept. I would have to do it with, everyone would have to have condoms. So I couldn't really do a, it would have to be definitely a fantasy that was not, that was controlled. I would have thought of being an overprotective. If you were in a room, if someone, like, said, happy birthday, Stevie, and we're all going to bang you, but we're all wearing condoms, would you like that? That would be interesting. I would go for it. But you'd have the condoms? Yeah, they'd have to have the condoms, and everything would be. Would you think that would be too weird? It would be better in your head? Or would that actually be like? No, because I could just go into the role. I could just really go into the character. And just put myself there. Not that it's on my list of things to do. I'll put it on my bucket list, but way at the bottom. Okay, Stevie, what do you have left for us? What are you, where can we get a hold of you at? You can get a hold of me at SkipHabbySnap on Twitter. Okay, I don't have a Twitter account, but I soon will. We're going to set that up. Yeah, we're setting that up. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. This was so much fun. This was really weird, but I had a blast. Kelly Nichols and Stevie. Stevie! All righty. Bye-bye. Kisses, kisses, kisses. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. We'll be right back.