Valentine's Day special with Matt and Mandy

Thank you for watching. I do. I think about you. Hey, guys. Hi. Welcome to Awkward Conversations. We're, uh, this is our Valentine's Day episode. Uh, we're calling it my bloody Valentine. Hence, well, not this song, but this is one of my favorite versions of this song ever. Super cool. Um, as you... Who is this? Filter. Filter. Ooh. It's a really sexy version of that song. Nah, play the version by the Turtles, man. I like the version of the Turtles, but that version kind of is like the heavy metal rock version of this song. It's kind of awesome. Um, uh, so as usual, I am joined here by my co-hosts. Don't sound so good. Ugh. If I could do this... Hey, maybe I'll just go back home and go to bed, then. Why don't you? Ugh. Just kidding. I love you, Jeff. Damn. I love you. Can you guys fight right now? Yeah, fight right now. It would make me really happy. Uh, okay. I could just step on her and that would be awesome. So the... Fight, fight. Okay, so the two people talking is Frank Bennington, a.k.a. Bad Touch Bad Boy. Hi. Hey. Jeff, a.k.a. Phantom Kitten. Hello. I keep wanting to say Phantom Kitty. I'm sorry. It just sounds funny. Um, Anastasia Washington. Hey. A.k.a. Darth Boobs, a.k.a. Laser Boobs, a.k.a. Psycho Fembot. Hi. Hi, y'all. She's special. She gets three nicknames. Nathan, the Singularity. Hey, guys. I am your host today, Rachel Frumkin, Sassy Pants, and we are joined by two special guests, Matt Blackwood and Mandy D. How's it going? Hello. Of the What Were We Talking About podcast. Yay. And Matt's also on the Angry Dorks podcast here on Skid Row Studios. Um, so as... I have a quick question about Phantom Kitten. Yes. I don't know. Is that a Schrodinger's cat reference? No. No. Okay. I, yeah. You sound so coy about it. We almost had a child walk into our studio. We would have scarred her for life. Um, it's okay. She would have been like, Rosas? Sorry, that was terribly terrible. We already have one child in the studio. That's Razem. Oh, that's Razem. Totally. Um, so this is, like I said, this is our Valentine's Day episode. It was, you know, Thursday. So I hope everybody had an okay Valentine's Day. It was. Shit. I know. Yeah, it was. I love you. Oh, no. Uh, happy Valentine's Day, Mandy. This is your gift. Um, it was Matt's surprise. I got you a podcast. Woo! Um, okay. So, speaking of Valentine's Day, I thought we would start off with, um, maybe the worst dates you've ever been on or the worst Valentine's Day you guys have ever had. I'll start with... Stacey. Uh, oh, okay. I probably am, like, not, uh, good with this question. I've actually had really good Valentine's Days, even when I'm single, because I just hang out with... Boo! I'm so on you. Throw things at her. Throw things at her. Okay. This one time I was burned at the stake on Valentine's Day. It really sucked. Wow. I'm just kidding. Past life. Past life Valentine's Day. You were stoned at the stake. You weren't burned. I was stoned at the stake. That's so hot. But you actually just had a stake on Valentine's Day. I like my stake a little burned. Like a Pittsburgh rare. Yeah. But you've never been on, like, a horrible, like, you've never had, like, a disastrous date. A date? Yeah. Like, nobody's ever taken you on, like, I think this is going to be the greatest date ever. And you're like, this is the worst thing you've ever done. How about a disastrous prune? How about that? A disastrous prune. I'm trying to think. I mean, probably in high school, you know, like, when... Okay. So, okay. I wasn't dating this guy, but I went to my first and only dance of high school with this guy. This guy. It was clearly gay. I had just broken up with my boyfriend. And he was like, he stabbed himself there. Frank. My dress broke. And... Wait, wait. Go back. He stabbed himself? Yeah. Wait a minute. What? So, you know how you're supposed to put the... What is it? Boot name? Oh. The corsage. Oh, okay. I thought, like, you meant, like... You're supposed to cut yourself while listening to Michael's romance. Jesus. He got everything wrong. The cure came on, and he just, like, he lost control. No, I, like, I thought you meant, like, he... He went to a dance with a woman with tits, and he didn't... It's raining. He didn't cut himself. He stabbed himself. Yeah, I thought you meant, like, he took a knife and, like, stabbed himself. No, it might as well have been because... This is how much I love you. Well, then, you know, like, he basically came out at the thing, and I was like, yeah, I know. And he's like, well, you know, I just thought I would tell you. I'm like, I know I was going to a dance with a gay guy. I'm not dumb. I'm not dumb. But, like, he had to spend the whole night with, like, this big bloodstained shirt, and then my dress just got mangled, too. So, it was the only dance I ever went to. I think that was the worst date I've ever been on, I think. Jeff, have you ever been on, like, a really bad date, bad Valentine's Day? You know, I... Oh, God. I honestly can't think of any bad dates that I've had or, like, bad Valentine's Day experience. You guys all suck. You guys suck. Like, I've seen... I've got, like, a thousand bad dates I've been on. You guys are like, oh, no, I've been on great dates. It's been awesome. My charmed life is... I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Lucky for you. Okay. So, to our guests, have you guys had separately, together? I better start because Mandy's is worse. But I... Okay. I went on a date with this girl, and I had met her at a party, you know, we just kind of had it off, had a nice conversation, thought it was pretty cool. So, we set up this date, and she doesn't show up. She's supposed to meet me at my apartment complex. Like, she's going to pick me up and drive. And... So... So, she doesn't show up. And then she doesn't show up. And she doesn't show up. And then I get a call, and she's like, hey, I'm like, this crazy thing happened, whatever. I'm like, okay, no problem. You know, like, I'm having to drive people around. And I, you know... And then she doesn't show up at the later time that she postpones to. And so, like, the date gets postponed like three times, and she just keeps not showing up in the same night. It's like, oh, no, I'll be here at this time. And she eventually shows up, and she, like, reeks of pot. And I'm like... I'm like, ugh. Is this what this is going to be like? I'm like, all right, well, I'll just, you know, we'll go, and we'll have a nice time, and, you know, whatever. This is really lame. But we go to a movie. We went to see Sideways. Hey, man, the grass is greener. We went to see Sideways, and she got a phone call in the movie theater, and she fucking answered it. No! No! Stop! Stop! Stop talking to the person! Oh, I'm watching a movie, whatever. And, like, there was, like, a group of three girls, like, two rows ahead of us that all looked back, like, what the fuck is she doing? And I was like, I'm not with her! Look, I'm watching... No! Yeah, so... Amy, by the way, really wants to kill this woman right now. I do. Oh, no, I... I don't want to punch her in the face. And she wants to go stab her. We were in the theater the other day, and the same thing happened. Oh, yeah, I lost my... It's insane. You just... You want to... You want to just go? grab the phone, throw it across the room. Nobody's going to say anything. At the Arclight, they'll probably give you a job. That's true. But yeah, so basically we're on the way home, whatever. And she's like, well, you know, do you want to do this again? Whatever. So I'm like, no, I don't. I like this. I don't, I don't think we'll ever. Worst date ever. I don't think, I don't think we'll ever see each other again. And she was like, really? I'm like, yeah, really? Like. Worst date. Yeah, I don't, I don't think she even had an idea that she was my worst date of all time. Oh no, she was probably too stoned to know. Probably. That was probably it. I hope you're listening because don't get on the phone. Yeah, people out there, don't do that. That's just not awesome. I hope your date is listening. Next time somebody does that in a movie theater, I'm going to take the person's phone and be like, yeah, they're in a movie right now. They can't talk. Get the fuck off the phone. Yeah. That happened during the Die Hard marathon. This girl got on. She's like, yeah. I'm in a Die Hard marathon. Oh no. Oh no. I was like, what are you? You guys went to the Die Hard marathon? It was super awesome. It was amazing. Was it the one that Bruce Willis and Jai Courtney showed up to? No. You didn't hear about this? No. What? At one of the arc lights when they were doing the thing. I don't know which one. I think it was the beach city one. The beach city one, yeah. They just fucking showed up there. That's probably. They didn't tell anybody they were coming. If I were a movie star, I would show up to so many of my own movies. Yeah. We were saying what he should have done was like done like the Santa Claus thing and like showed up to every marathon in LA. You know, that would have made sense because there's like 12 hours with which to do it. He could have gone to every single one. But if Bruce Willis had showed up, I'm pretty sure Stacey would have vomited on him. I only vomited on him once. And she was sick. And I've seen him sick and not vomited on him. She was a child and she was sick. Can you make it work? Can you make it work? Okay. So. Mandy, what was your horrible day? You're vomiting on one celebrity and all at once is a big thing. Okay. We're talking about the same celebrity. I didn't say. Oh my gosh. All right. Guys. Guys. Guys. It's enough about Stacey vomiting on Bruce Willis. We get it. Speaking of vomit. I know. Oh God. Did you get thrown up on? I know my absolute worst date. It was a friend of a coworker. And I was like. Oh, sure. Fine. I'll go on a date. And she's like, no, you know, it'll be, you know, you guys seem really good for each other. We get just far enough away. I had him pick me up in my parents' house instead of my apartment. Because. Smart move. Yeah. Cause I was like, I don't really know this guy, whatever. We get just far enough out of like where I could like walk home safely. Cause we're on like the interstate. And he's like, yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I'm gonna kill myself after my last girlfriend broke up with me. And I'm like, oh. I shouldn't. I shouldn't be stifling a laugh, but I'm sorry. Oh, that's horrible. He stabbed himself in the heart with a gun. This is the first date I've been on since getting out of the hospital. And I'm like. So I. Oh no. I finished off the date and I tried to be really nice to him. And like never spoke to him again. Could you punch your coworker in the face? I did not speak to her for like weeks. I was like, that's something you need to tell someone in advance. Like if this date goes bad, this guy might kill himself. Oh no. Um, okay. Well, Nathan, have you ever had a bad Valentine's day or a bad date? Well, I, I went to Jewish school my whole life. And I guess the most interesting thing is that we were not allowed to celebrate Valentine's day. Um, so up until high school, we weren't even allowed to like, if like they, if they caught you bringing like Valentine's day chocolate or anything to school, like they would actually get upset at you. So, I mean, that's kind of an interesting anecdote. I don't really have a bad date on Valentine's day. I guess my worst date is simply just dates who don't actually feel like they're on a date with you. Oh, okay. So when you, when you, when you, when you go out on a date and then they just something, something they say at some point, you're like, oh, we're not. If you're. If you ask a girl. If you ask a girl out and she is out with you and then like you find out that she was just wanting friendship. That happened to my brother. Uh, he was on a, he was on a date with this girl. He, he asked her out, whatever. And, uh, he was all excited about it. He picked her up and she was directing him and it turned out she was directing him to this other dude's house. And they picked up this other guy and then they started like making out and he realized, oh, I'm chauffeuring their fucking date. I thought that all night. That's what happened in movies. So he told me this when he got home. I'm like, I hope you left them at the fucking movie theater. Well, I made, I made a really big mistake at one point in my life and lived with an ex-girlfriend. We were already broken up and we lived together. And, um, yeah, that happened a lot actually. Like I would wind up like taking her to her new boyfriend's house and stuff like that. It was a bad situation. Um, okay. Okay. So here's my worst date ever. Uh, because you guys can't see me. I'm very short. I'm only like five feet. So it's very hard for somebody to be. And by, by you, she means all of us. All of us cannot see her over. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very short. Um, it's very hard to find somebody shorter than me to go on a date with. And I was living with this girl who was a bit crazy. Um, and she and her boyfriend were out one night at a late night coffee place, ran into this guy they were playing trivia with. And I just started talking to him. About me thinking I don't have a life. So they had to set me up with a date. So I begrudgingly met this guy at this 24 hour pancake house in Portland. And the guy comes up to my boobs. He's literally a hobbit. He's gotta be like four, eight, four, nine. Uh, the most awkward date I've ever been on, um, was there was nothing good about him. He had no personality. He wasn't that smart. Wasn't that funny. With this ring. Yeah. I mean, he had a walk everywhere. Although there were giant eagles, you know, shoes and it is hard to get around with friends that wanted second breakfast and 11 season, all these states. It was horrible. And, um, I walk home. He is not even subtle about looking at my ass. He's just walking behind me, looking at my ass. Checking out my. To be clear. Yeah. That's what I love. Yeah. I love it. He can't help it. I know. But I'm like, hello, eyes up here, buddy. Have a conversation. Uh, was a part time worker at like, I guess Oregon's version of a Hollywood horror nights. And that also worked at HP. So just socially awkward in every aspect. And then asked for my number and I told my roommate, I don't give my number to hobbits. She thought that was me, but I was like, it was the worst date I've ever been on because it just wasn't. It just wasn't like there was no anything to like, like if he was remotely any, like if he was funny or engaging, I would be like, yeah, sure. Maybe give it another chance. But he was so socially inept and so socially awkward. I was like, I can't. The worst thing about that. The worst thing about that date is, you know, ordinarily when you have a bad day, you go, okay, don't have to talk to that person ever again, whatever. But you now you've got your roommates that you're like, is that what you think? I'm like, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't know exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly I was like, so how did this situation come about? Guys like, well, we were saying that, you know, you spend most of your nights at home. You don't really go out much. And we just thought he was a really nice guy. So we thought we would set you up with him. And I was like, I don't go out at nights because I'm at school from like four to 10. And when I get home from going to culinary school all day doing strenuous stuff, I just want to come home and crash. I don't stay out till like 3 a.m. in the morning just chatting up strangers. That's weird. She also brought home homeless people and asked if they could live at our house for a little bit. But that's another story altogether. Have you guys seen the Friends episode where they set up Lovitz with Jennifer Aniston's character? And he's like, he's supposed to be like the worst date ever. Like they're trying to find a horrible date for her. And he shows up and he's like, yep, you're really beautiful. And I'm kind of funny looking, but I'm not funny. There's no redeeming. There's no redeeming qualities about me. I don't know why you're on this date with me. And if you think I have money, no. I don't. And I'm pretty sure I'm infertile. These are one of the funniest things ever. Frank, have you ever had a bad date? I forgot to ask you. I'm sorry. I'm a pussy. Not human. Have you ever had to go on a date with a girl and then get in a fight? I'm sorry. It wasn't a date. And I was in middle school. I didn't know I was gay. You didn't have anything with the guy that you were fighting over the girl? What? Oh my God. Okay, I'm sorry. Stuff happens. Okay, I'm sorry. The only thing closest to that was like a non-date. A non-date date? Yeah, I met this really, really nice guy. Really cute. We set up this date like a week or two in advance because we were both really busy at the time. I'm going to punch your boobs, Stacey. Don't punch your boobs. We're not dating. You can't do that to me. And... The date... The day of, I'm getting ready because we had set these plans in stone. We were really excited. And I get a text from him like halfway through the day saying, so when are we going to go on that date? On the day that we were supposed to go on a date? Today is the day. I'm kind of ready now because I thought we were doing it today. Sorry. So he was making a date to call you to set up the date. I guess. Because he was in San Diego and was not going to be able to make it. Oh, no. So then after I was like, oh, no, I thought we had set this date up. Like I kind of gave him shit for it because it's kind of douchey. He was like, why are you getting so upset? It's not like we're dating or anything. Oh, my God. So that is the closest I get to a bad date. I don't think so. You clingy motherfucker. I think you've had worse dates. I don't think those were called dates. I think those were called hookups. Yeah. He's had worse hookups. Oh, yeah. I've had worse hookups. Oh, okay. All right. We've all had those. Oh, yikes. I mean, I don't hook up. I'm a good boy. Yeah, of course. You're completely virginal, I know. You're saintly. This is the virginal corner over here. Oh, yep. I'm sitting next to Frank just so you guys know. So I don't know how to segue into this. It's just something I- Move on to talk about nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice things. Nice things. The nice couples. The nice people. The nice couples. So I was going to say, I was going to try to segue into like best romantic couples, but after telling horrible date stories, I was like, I'll just say it. So I was, I guess, in the mood for Valentine's Day and I'm like a chick chick sometimes and I watch like, you know, romantic movies and I like the rom-coms. Who doesn't? And I was like, oh, who are my favorite romantic couples? And like, you know, movies and comic books. So I thought I would get your guys' points of views and then you guys can listen to my lame point of view. My lame ones. So I'm going to start with Nathan this time. Nathan, who are your like, if you had a, if somebody was like, okay, what are your top, like, let's say three, like best, best romantic couples you can think of? Like any movie character. Any movie character, comic book character, any, any in the spectrum of media, media. History, whatever you want to choose. Best romantic couples. George and Martha Washington. Oh, they owned me that one time. They, dude, they were, people always think of them as like these like stuck up, like wealthy, like white, like wigged people. You always see the picture of like Martha Washington and she's old. In, in truth, she was apparently a very, very, very beautiful woman. Like she won, like. She won the beauty contest. Like, like, uh, like, you know, like a primitive version of Miss America, if you will. Yeah, but their, their beauty contests back then were pretty much like pig contests, right? No, but I mean. It was just like, they all stood on a scale and they were like, who has the most teeth? Who's the heaviest? You win. You obviously have the most money. Do you have all your teeth? Great. She was like famously beautiful. Like people would come to like meet with her from all over and she married him and, and he had to fight for her several times. So yeah, them. I have to say when you first started saying George and Martha. Yeah. I thought you were going to say George and Martha from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. And I was like, they are not romantic. They are awful people. I think they're a real good standard for romance. I think so too. Sure. Um. And Washington chopped down her cherry tree. Isn't that, isn't that true? Oh yeah. He was like, I cannot tell a lie. I, I did that. Um. I cannot tell a lie. Ten inches. Some people pop cherries. Some people pop cherries. Some people cut down the whole fucking tree. And then make teeth out of it. Um. Okay. Um. Do you really want three? Um. Okay. You don't have to do three. You could do like. We both came up with so many. You can do like however many you want. You could do two. You could do five. You could do elevensies. Barney and Robin from How I Met Your Mother. Boom. No. Boom. You don't like? Wait. Hate that coupling. No. What? Do you like her better with Ted or something? Uh. The first two seasons of How I Met Your Mother are so wonderful and romantic and beautiful. I fucking love it. I fucking love Ted and Robin together. And I hate Barney and Robin together. Barney and Robin together is one of those things of like, hey, we've got two single people on the show. They should hook up too. They're good looking. Because we've got enough time. Like we've got so much time that we have to tell a story where they're like, oh yeah, these two people should get together. It's like. She's so much better suited for Barney than she is with Ted. Yeah. She has so much in common with Barney. They have all kinds of good stuff. That's not always the best thing. That they enjoy doing together. Yeah. They're both. They're both. They're both. They're buddies. They should be buddies. It's that whole thing of like, oh, if it's a guy and a girl, they should hook up. It's kind of like people. It's usually true though. Well, it's like, it's like if when a person has two gay friends, they immediately go, they should date. You know what I mean? Like it not. And they don't think about whether they are. Oh, it's like if you watch Sex and the City, Stanford and. The other guy, the Mario Cantone. Yeah. Mario Cantone. Like the, oh, hey, we've got two gay characters. Let's have those two gay characters date. It's such bullshit. It's like. They're not well suited for dating. Speaking of which, Jeff, I've been meaning to talk to you. Frank. I know. I was just going to say that. I was just going, oh, Nathan, we were on the same wavelength. Yeah. I mean, so I don't know. I disagree. I think, I think Barney and Robin are adorable together. I want, I want a girl who will go shooting with me and drink scotch. I love her. I love him. I don't love them together. When that show became the Barney show, that's when it fell apart for me. It totally jumped to the shore. I totally disagree. I thought Ted's character was getting boring. This season. It's boring. It's more about Lily. I would have to say it's actually more about Lily and Marshall. Why did I not say Lily and Marshall? Lily and Marshall. That's a good one. They're the perfect couple. That's a good couple. That's my three. Lily and Marshall, Barney and Robin, and George and Martha Washington. Okay. So. What about Ted and the mother? Ted and the mother. Ted and the mother. We know. We kind of know who she is. We stay in our head. He's the worst storyteller of all time, right? I know. Seriously. Or the best. I love how he's like, oh, I had all these. One night stands, but I can't say the word pot. Yeah. It's like, you just told me you had sex in an airport bathroom. Yeah. It's all these weird things. Hey, you know what? His kids have learned a lot about life. I mean, it's the year 2030. If they don't know what pot is. Yeah. Yeah. Give them a break. He's like, we had a sandwich. It's like, dad, we know what a sandwich is. Yeah. What's weird about that is you would think by 2030, like pot would be in like every like grocery store. Are we sure those are his kids and not just some random teenagers he kidnapped? Right. Maybe. That would be funny actually. That'd be like the best thing ever. That would be funny if they left off the show with, and then we got a divorce, which is why I hate your mother. Well, they only have a season to wrap this shit up, so they better get it done. Why I hate your mother is more of a. And then Kobe Smothers goes to SHIELD. What? Well, no. And then Kobe Smothers goes to SHIELD. She's going to do both. Well, that's totally a different subject. I'm so excited about SHIELD. Okay. So Matt and Mandy, what are your couple? Since you thought of a plethora. You want to go first? I'll go first. My favorite couple. I felt like I should say Luke Cage and Jessica Jones, but then I realized my more favorite couple was Luke Cage and Danny Rand because they're always heroing and probably teaching each other like sweet martial arts moves and stuff. And I don't know. I feel good about a couple who he's like, you look awesome in that tiara. She's like, thank you. Thank you. The fact that they let each other get away with those fashion nightmares. He's like, I love your slippers and your sash. That's cute. That's adorable. I also like to think of Superman and Batman looking at each other. Nice cape, dude. Yeah. Nice cape, bro. Yeah. I wrote mine down because I'm not good at remembering things. Another one I thought of was Spike and Drusilla from Buffy. Oh, that is a good couple. Because they were like so in love that demons were like. Well, that's weird. You guys are vampires. You probably shouldn't be that. Like they were so crazy. They creeped out other monsters. Right. And they were together. I mean, I know they eventually broke up, but how long were they together? Like 500 years or something? At least. His whole life. Yeah. Just about his whole life. Yeah. All but like 20 years. Then I've got Daenerys and Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones. Because even though she was like sold to him, he like treated her. Like they were like super in love. I know they got to that place where you were like, I'm now jealous of you. I feel so left out. I don't watch Game of Thrones. You should read the books. What's wrong with you? You get more nearest story. I won't. They're on my neck. Oh my God. I have too many. She does a lot of walking though. And then I've got Amy and Rory Pond. Okay. Yeah. They're so responsible and perfect for each other. I don't like. Here's my thing. I am not a. I'm not a fan of Amy Pond. I said. I don't like her, but I like him so much. And I find that he's so. She's. He's so good for her. By any stretch. That I really like that parent. Because he's the one that's like, you're acting too crazy. And I wait a thousand years for you. I'm just. They're not my favorite companions, but they're like, they're so perfect together. I'm like, you guys are a good couple. I got. I got pretty fed up though with the constant. Are you sure we're right for each other? Like, are you sure we should be together? Like. I don't know. You love the doctor. You love everybody. Like, should we be together? Should we be together? It was like every episode. Pretty. Yeah. Yeah. But when you're going through life changing space adventures. I mean. Who doesn't have that moment of doubt? Who's not like. Are you sure? Life changing space adventure. No, you haven't. I do have to say that she is super nice in person. And so is her mother. So. I'm sure she's. Shout out to Mary Gillen. I like. I like Karen Gillen. And I like. Well, it's a long story, kids. I was eating a sandwich. And having sex in an airport bathroom. It's going to take me eight seasons to tell you about it. I like her. I just don't like that character of like. There's something about Amy as a character. Or something that I don't particularly. I'm not just fond of her. I'm just not. I'm sorry nerds out there. No companions are ever living up to a Martha Jones for me. I like this new one so far though. Martha was too perfect. I really like. Yeah, the new one. I really like the new one. So far. Super cute. Super smart. I love that. Martha's too perfect. That's Martha's problem. She doesn't have like any faults. I think Donna's awesome. I liked Donna. And I. I liked Rose. I liked Donna because she was never in love with the doctor. Like every other one. And she kept him. And she kept him in line. She was like. You're acting like a damn fool. Like she put him in his place a lot of the times. And I'm. That's why I liked about Donna. Yeah. She didn't take shit from him. I just. I think Martha. You're right. The problem is. I think they set up Martha to be way too perfect. Actually. Like she just did everything right. Like there was like never a point where he was like. No. Like Martha. Don't do that. It was like every time. It wasn't her where she was going to blow up the galaxy. Right. He was like. Don't do that. Barely. She was going to try to save. She was going to try to save the world by blowing up. Seen the forest. Even when that was true. She was like. Oh yes. I will not make a mistake. In Torchwood. She's not that perfect. She is pretty like. Shit's got to go down. And I wish she would have stayed with Torchwood. But she's so cute with Mickey. And or Ricky. I forget which one. Yeah. Mickey. Mickey. It's his. No. Mickey. Mickey the idiot. Yes. Mickey. Yes. Ricky died. Ricky died. Mickey. I remember that because Rose left. And then like in the alternate universe. She gets together with Rose. If you don't watch Doctor Who. You are so lost right now. How terrible was Rose and Mickey together as a couple. I felt so bad for him. Yeah. Wow. She clearly was in love with the Doctor. I have an opinion on this. Because I watch Doctor Who. As we know. I don't watch the new Doctor. So. Yeah. Well that's your loss. Yeah. Or is it? It is. It's your loss. It's okay. You can mourn. You can mourn. Just stop. Stop eating apples every day. And watch the show. You can mourn the loss as long as you want. I'm mourning. I'm mourning. Nobody says you can't stop mourning. You can mourn the loss. It's actually afternoon. All right. So. Were that. Were those your couples Mandy? Yes. Okay. I didn't want to like cut you off. Okay. So. Okay. I've got too many. But. But I'll try to go through them pretty quickly. If you've ever read Preacher. Jesse Custer and Tulip O'Hare. They are a. An amazing couple. He's a. No. She's a hit man. And. Or a hit woman. Hit lady. A hit person. Hit lady. And he has. He has like the power of God. In his voice. Oh. Right. Yes. Anyway. Yeah. They're pretty badass. William Wallace and Marion from Braveheart. And I know. Like obviously. Okay. So. It's kind of an all. Yes. It's kind of an entire life thing. Because when he's a kid. That's when he falls in love with her. And despite going out. And getting all educated. And learning the ways of combat. And languages. And everything that he can possibly learn. He comes back. To this tiny. Body paint. He comes back to the tiny town. In Scotland. He's like. Yeah. That chick. That same chick. Been thinking about her all this time. Kept that little pressed flower. Whatever. And then what happens. She gets fucking taken away from him. And he goes. Okay. Well. In that case. I'm going to go destroy England. He destroys England for her. I'm going to go start a war people. Let's go have this happen. I hope you would destroy England for me. He goes and fights. I totally would. Like arbitrarily. Like even though England had nothing to do. With your untimely death. I would completely kill England. Thank you. That means a lot to me. That's so sweet. That's true love people. That's true love. I love that movie so much. Don't kill England. Then we wouldn't have Doctor Who. Well technically Doctor Who is on Wales. So it's okay. Okay. It's on Wales? It's literally on like. It's on Wales. It's on Wales. Yeah. It's like. I'm sorry. That's a reference. It's like Jonah. If Jonah traveled through space and time. It's being carried. It's being carried on the back of a giant whale. It's weird though. Can you like kill Portugal or something instead? Like some country that I really don't care about. Or Mexico. I mean you don't really have a partiality to it do you? I just say go for Texas. Texas is like another country. So yeah. That's. You have all kinds of options. Don't kill England. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. But England don't have guns. Texas have all the guns. Like it seems like it would be much easier to kill England. Truth. But there's a lot of European countries without guns. That's fair. Yeah. You know what? Don't take. Don't take England. I watch too many BBC shows. Me too. I'm going to take out. I'm going to take out. Maybe why don't you destroy Austria for me? I'm going to take out the Vatican. Okay. The Vatican should be a country. It's a little tiny country. You can take it out pretty easily. Sure. And they don't have a leader. Unless I was a Highlander. Because I'm pretty sure the entire country is holy ground. Pretty soon you'll be able to kill two popes with one gun. Oh man. One smoking gun. That's a whole other thing. Oh boy. Okay. All right. So I know this is sappy. I don't give a shit. I'm tired of people shitting on things that are pure, whatever. But the fucking. Yeah, Frank. The notebook. Noah and Allie from the notebook. That is like the saddest motherfucking story. You've just made. You've offended Stacey. The notebook sucks. It doesn't. I would. I was going to put that. It is the worst romantic movie ever. I don't think. Okay. It was done better when it was 50 First Dates. Okay. Yes, it was. It was so much better. I like 50 First Dates. Stacey, I love you right now. I like 50 First Dates. That is a sad fucking movie. I don't know. But every Nicholas Sparks movie is the same. I understand. But that's a. Every Nicholas Sparks movie is the same. But I'm trying to. I try to not view things on a meta scale. I try to not say like, oh, this is just like that other Nicholas Sparks movie. I've never seen Nicholas. Sparks thing before. And I. That movie makes me cry. It's a sad fucking movie. I applaud your choice and your bravery for admitting that you like a Nicholas Sparks movie. Okay. But we'll move on to something more badass. John and Jane Smith from Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Yeah. Sexy scene. As soon as they meet, they immediately are like, oh, they're being themselves. They're both being killers. They're both being spies. And they meet and they're like, oh, you. Oh, you. You know what I mean? Like, and it's perfect. And then they have to hide everything and it kind of mucks things up, whatever. It's like, it's the perfect metaphor. For just how people, people's romances go stale over time. And it's not until they completely reveal themselves to each other and are completely open with each other as killers that they become badass again, just like they were when they started, when they didn't keep all the secrets and hold themselves back. Anyway, love that. Love that movie. Benedict and Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. They're a good couple. They are. I love that they're perfect for each other and they don't see it. Because they're both so snarky and witty that all they do is jab, jab, jab, jab, jab, whatever. And then as soon as somebody's like, oh, no, he likes you. Oh, he likes you. Whatever. They're like, oh, awesome. I like that guy. Yeah. Anyway. Always loved Gambit and Rogue. Yes. I like Gambit and Rogue. Yeah. They've got a real Pyramus and Thisbe thing going because like they can't touch because of her power. But like, despite that, he kind of stayed with her for a long time and he could have gotten mad chicks. They're gonna. They're gonna. He's Gambit. He's gonna be in the next movie, right? Yeah. Gambit and Rogue. Yeah. That'll be good. Wait, Gambit? Rogue for sure. I thought they had cast Gambit now too. Well, they had Gambit in the stupid Wolverine movie, but I hope they're not. I don't know that they're bringing. But new actors, right? I haven't heard anything about Gambit. Because I can't deal with Anna Paquin's southern accent. Oh, yeah. On anything. On anything. On anything, yeah. It isn't Anna Paquin. It's. I don't remember. I don't know about Gambit coming back. Wait, wait. Is it Jennifer Lawrence? Is it? What's the question? I'm okay. No, Jennifer Lawrence is already. No, she's. Anna Paquin is returning. Oh, right, right. She's already in it. She is? She's mistake. Yeah. I hadn't heard anything about Anna Paquin returning. She's returning. I hope they got her dialect. Ellen Page is returning. Iceman is returning. I hope they do something worthwhile with Anna Paquin. I. Okay. I like. Oh, right. Ellen Page was the. Ellen Page and. Who did they get to play multiple man? Dane. The guy that was McSteamy in Grey's Anatomy. McSteamy. Eric Dane. Eric Dane. Eric Dane. Those were the two standouts for X3. Those are like the only good things about X3 as far as I was concerned. Like they both popped out. Yeah. I mean, they kind of wasted Juggernaut, but. Yeah. But I, like, I liked Ellen Page's Kitty Pride. I like, I like. You liked her kitty? I think I'll like her now that she's older. She really likes her kitty. Yeah. That's all I did then. Yeah. All right. Real quick, two more. The, if you've ever seen A Very Long Engagement, Manek and Matilda. Oh, yeah. From A Very Long Engagement, where it's basically he's lost at war and he's just presumed dead and she never believes it. And so she goes on this gigantic journey to go find him. Fucking long ass amazing movie. If you haven't seen it. You have to be prepared for subtitles though. Yes. It's super in French. But also Jodie Foster's sex scene. So worth waiting around for. And finally, in, there's a video game called Shadow of the Colossus. Right, yeah, I know, yeah. Yeah. Wander is the name of the guy. And we had to look this up because I don't think anybody ever says it. But Mono or Mono or whatever is the name of the girl. But basically she's dying. It opens up with she's dying. And he has to defeat, like he's basically making a deal with the devil, like with all these powers. And he has to go kill all of these gigantic monsters in order to save her. And so the entire game is just you going around and killing these gigantic monsters that you have to like climb on. To kill them. They're so big. They're like mountains tall. Yes. You are fighting mountains basically. It's, but it's an amazing game and it's super romantic that he's just like the entire time. And he's, he's giving up more of himself with every fight. And so he basically is going to give up his entire life just to bring her back. Except for his pony. Except for his pony. We forgot Michael and Holly from the office. If I don't say it, I'm not gonna, not gonna be okay with myself later. All right. Okay. Frank? Um. Three. Real quick. Okay. Batman and Catwoman, of course. Okay. Because it's perfect. Are you also doing that as like a Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle thing or just strictly Batman and Catwoman? It's both. Okay. I mean, Batman and Justice because he will never let Justice go. Are all your couples going to be Batman? No. Homer and Marge from the Simpsons. Oh yeah. Okay. They're kind of adorable. They've been together for 20 years. 20 plus. 20 plus. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. 20 plus years. So 24. Okay. So they're 24. And then in addition to that, they already had kids when they first aired. And they met in high school. So they met in high school. So they've been together for like 40 plus years. They met when she was 11? Yeah, but their show is not in real time though. That's true. Because if that was true. Their show has only covered one year of their lives because I think Bart only moved up one grade and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know he has. Stacey, I'm pretty sure that you wanted a nerd podcast, right? Because we just had a debate over how long Bart was. Is this... When you mean couples, does it matter if they're romantic or not? You know, it doesn't, I guess. This one is going to be really weird and you guys might not agree with me. And it is... No, it's terrible. Batman and the Joker. I think that is a really perfect couple. They're a pretty interesting couple. You're true. And like, it's weird because their relationship is kind of relationship-y. It's like, oh, I'm going to keep tabs on my man so I can like torture him and I'm going to check in. Especially in the original. We're going to fight and then we're going to make up and then we're going to fight again. Especially in the Adam West, like, original series. Like, it was totally like that too. Like, Joker even like flirted with him all the time. He's like... Yeah, but that's because it was Cesar Romero. Have any of you been keeping up with Death of the Family? Yes. There's a scene, spoiler alert, where Batman explains that people's pupils, they either dilate or close up depending on whether they're feeling love or hate. Amorous. Things like that. And one of the things he says before the end of the most recent issue that I was reading is that he's never seen Joker do that up until now. And what creeped him out the most was that they opened up because he was in love. There you go. That's a little creepy. I think that goes further to prove my point that they're a perfect couple. They're in love. Just for bad touch, have you ever read The Authority? Um, no, but I know Midnighter, right? Right, Midnighter and Apollo are basically Batman and Superman fucking. Yeah, it's... They are a couple. It's one of the couples I looked up last night to like put like in our game later on. I was like, I love these people. They're badass. Like, I love it. They're also part of the main DC universe. They're one of the best couples ever. I was like, they're brilliant. Anyway, that's my question. All right, we'll go Stacey, then Jeff, and then me. Okay, I too have to... Whittle my list down. Okay, I have to say Spike and Buffy because that's who I would pick if I was Buffy. And the guy that ruined... ruined guys for me is Troy from Reality Bites. So Troy and what's her name? Lainey or whatever. Yeah, I would have to pick them because, yeah. And then I'm just going to say two more. Hermione and Ron. They're a good couple. And... Yeah. Spock and Uhura. Hmm. Good one. Oh, okay. Jeff? I'm going to say Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson. No. Interesting. No. Not Peter and Gwen, huh? No. Oh. Obviously Mary Jane didn't mean enough to not sell out their marriage to Mephisto. Yeah. Interesting. Boo. Boo on that. Go on. Not on you. On Marvel. Boo on Marvel for doing that. I'm not going to judge your choices. Go. Tara and Willow. Go. Okay. And real life, I would say Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka. Yes. They're a good couple. I didn't think about real life. I didn't think about real life. I strictly thought about like movies. Have you been watching Neil's Puppet Dreams? Yes. It's crazy. Oh, so cute. Can I add Yonto and Captain Jack? Yes, of course you can. That's who I actually thought you were going to start off with and when you did it. I love Captain Jack. I just, I don't, I never see, I never saw it with Yonto. I was like, Yonto's like my favorite. Yonto's so boring. What? He's like the most boring. They know each other perfectly. How did you not cry when, at the end of that season? It has to be a boring person to go with Captain Jack because Captain Jack's going to like take up the whole room. He's not boring. He takes care of him. I guess that makes sense. That's why he didn't work with the doctor. They're just too much alike. Okay. You can obviously tell who the bottom is. All right. So here are my favorite couples and one I think is just, I love the movie True Lies. Don't judge. I love it. I love the movie True Lies also. So I think Harry, and I can never remember her name, Helen are like the greatest couple ever because she's just so like, she thinks he's so boring and so dull. And when she finds out that he's like this spy, she's all like, let's fucking do this together. Let's be badass. Oh God. You're awesome. Do you know why that didn't, why the sequel didn't happen? I read something. There was going to be a sequel? Yes. That would have been awesome. Because their daughter was Eliza Dishku in one of her first roles Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. long list um i think she's just so like headstrong and independent and he's kind of like a fuck it all attitude like he kind of needs somebody in his life to be like you go fight and be like this badass person but um you should know that i'm also gonna be this badass person and fight beside you common theme so far my couples um my third is i love john hughes movies so i'm gonna go what i know uh my favorite john hughes couple is um from eric is eric stoltz and mary yeah and mary stewart masterson is you know watts and i was like thank god you said that and not pretty and pink well i was going to but here's my thing i know for a fact that i call some kind of wonderful pretty and pink too because that is what he wanted pretty and pink to be it's like it's like the evil dead two to evil yeah yeah it's it's we remade it but this time we we did what we wanted to do yeah and if focus groups and molly ringwall and john crier were all not like oh you know andy and ducky shouldn't get together that's just that just doesn't seem right then then we would have had we would have had some kind of wonderful drug i mean she's super she's super awesome her name is fucking watts i mean she's just super it's like the way you want everything to pan out just makes sense to me um i also like uh i can't remember his name right now and power the duck i do like power the duck but i i actually like perfect i actually like marty mcfly and his girlfriend jennifer um i actually like marty mcfly jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer jennere j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j If I have to hold standards too when I'm trying to find somebody, that's what I go for. So I guess what we're going to do is we're going to do our awkward questions. You sound really straight. Well, I had something else planned, but I think we're going to scrap that. So I'm going to start with Jeff first. Jeff, what are your awkward questions to our guests? Have you ever masturbated or pleasured yourself to photos on Facebook? No. No. Right? This question has never gotten a yes. He thinks everybody's like, I'm like, no, who does that? I said yes. You said yes. Yeah. Okay. You said yes. Because you're sick and twisted. I said, I don't know anybody that would ever do that. At least I'm the honest one. It's just so weird. It's so weird. Why do I hide? Okay. You know there's these things called porn sites and they're free, like all over the internet. But his thing was like, do you, do it to like, well, I don't want to masturbate to my friends. Like people I know or like, that's just weird. That's, that's so weird. That's not what you said yesterday. I know when I was telling you about my fantasy about you. I know. It makes it a little bit more personal. You know, you don't, you don't just watch some stranger take off all of her clothes. You're watching good personal friends take off all of their clothes. Nope. Never going to happen. I don't know. I think I'm old enough that like all my friends are like, here's me and my kids or here's me and my mom. Right. All my friends are like married. Have children, whatever. It's super creepy. I don't want to ever do that. Nathan, ask your question. My question is what inanimate object that is currently in this room. Would you choose as a sex toy? A lot of bottles around here. I don't know. There is a Bill Hicks painting on the wall. You'd want that as a, Stacy's boobs are being pointed out and I'm going to have to go with that. Okay. They are not inanimate though. They just surround all over the place. She can see real still. There you go. I like the Bill Hicks answer. Nobody's ever said that yet. Nobody's ever sent a picture so far. Yeah. They've said microphones, whatever, but never a picture. Dr. Pepper bottle. Yeah. Microphone just seems too easy. Right. Mm. Mm. Okay. Frank, ask your question. Okay. This is a really serious question guys. Okay. So pay attention. Would you walk 500 miles and then walk 500 miles? To be the man who walked 500 miles to pass out on your door. I don't remember the line. Yes. That's it. That's good. That's how everybody's answered it so far. When I Haver, I am not going to Haver. You're not? No. Actually, the truth is I don't really Haver at all. So. Okay. Don't we all Haver? Stacy, ask your question. Uh, if you had to be, you have to be the opposite sex for a day, what would you look like and what would you do? I would look like Ryan Gosling. And I would do everyone. There you go. That's a good answer. Good answer. Uh, I would do the same thing. Let me see who, who would it look like? Uh, I would look like Miranda Kerr and I would go do everybody. Cool. There you go. Sweet. Okay. So here's. We, we both want to just give that a shot. We want to give that the old college try. So here's my question. It's a real thinker. Uh, if you were stranded on an island and you could choose two people, who would you choose to be with you on this island? And what would they bring to the party to help you survive on the island? Or just to bring, right? No, it has to be like something to survive. Survival. Okay. Ryan Gosling and Miranda Kerr, right? I think we're just going to restart civilization. Yeah. I, I think, I don't know. Like, I don't know that I would, I would be focused on getting off the island so much. I mean, you can make a pretty nice life for yourself. A little like a Robinson Crusoe kind of action there. Pick just people that would be awesome to just awesome to hang with and. I don't know who would be good. I would hope you would bring me. Well, you, I'm assuming you two are stranded on the island together. Two additional people or one additional. No, no. You guys each get two people to bring with you. And they like, so it's the two of us. It's like a party of four. So do we want to bring another couple or do we want to bring a guy and a girl? So we have options or we just want to bring a couple, couple of awesome people. It can be anyone. Can I pick someone with the power of flight? Like can I bring Ms. Marvel and she can just fly me to the mainland? Somebody brought Nightcrawler last week. I brought Captain Mo. Oh, he's got a ship. That's a good plan. Someone was like, if I brought Nightcrawler, they could just poof me away. Well, yeah, if you want to leave. Fine. Then I pick, I don't know who can create stuff. I pick a green lantern and he can build me a house. Or Element Lad. He could, he could build you a house. Yeah. I don't know. He could, he could build you things. The Molecule Man. Although he's a little unstable. Nathan, just pretend to laugh. Okay. So. I was laughing. I just wasn't on mic at the time. With that, with that said, let's play a marry, fuck, kill. Here's, here's the catch this time around guys, since it's couples, you, whatever you choose to do goes for both people. You can't like kill one person and marry the other. You got to kill the other person. You got to kill the other person. You got to kill the other person. You got to kill the other person. You got to kill the other person. You got to kill the other person. You got to kill the other person. You got to kill one person and marry the other. You got to kill both, marry both, screw both. So. Real quick, real quick before we do that, I just want to say, her mouth pops open in response. Yeah. That's more like it. Suck it up, Miss Steel. I feel my control slowly returning. Okay. Okay. By the way, by the way, if you guys have a chance to check it out, check out 50 Shades of Grey, fan fiction point of view from Christian Grey. It's super meta. It's the best thing ever. I'm disturbed that my name is in this. Yeah. I'm just, I'm just faking it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I faked it. I'm going to kill Hawkman and Hawkgirl. They'll just come back. Okay. Okay, but I'm going to kill them. You can do that. I don't, we don't judge here. I guess I'm going to fuck Beauty and the Beast. Okay, that's cool. And I'm going to marry the Joker and Harley Quinn. Why not? They'd be super psychotically awesome. Because that's what I want to do. And me and Harley Quinn could share clothes and we could talk annoying to each other. It'd be awesome. Are you marrying him pre-facelift or post-facelift? Listen, when you marry, it's till death do face part. She's married all incarnations of him. Yeah. Okay. I'll bet you can make him smile. Frank, we'll just go this way. I got Lloyd Dobler and Diane Kord. I didn't say them. I'm so mad. I thought about them. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Peter and Ellie and Green Arrow and Black Canary. You gotta fuck Green Arrow and Black Canary. Well. Peter and Ellie. That's what I was thinking about. It happened one night, by the way. I have to kill Peter and Ellie because the other two choices are just too awesome to ignore. And I can't really decide if I want to marry Green Arrow and Black Canary or fuck them. I would totally fuck them. I would fuck them because I would really want Green Arrow to ride me. And I'm going to be totally honest about that. I'm just going to say. I will let Green Arrow fuck me. He knows how to work the shaft. Lloyd Dobler is going to have kickboxing as his future. And he never misses. But he could have. Done that for the rest of your life. She's a screamer. She is. And then you got a fickle girl. I only have to fuck them once. I can't fuck them repeatedly. They can't be like my son. No. Marriage is fucking repeatedly. Fine. Then I'm marrying them. There you go. And I will fuck Lloyd Dobler and Diane Court because. Really? Diane Court. He's adorable. Why not? He's got kickboxing as his future. He's awesome. She's not that awesome. I know. She's pretty badass. But I only have to do them once. Nathan, who are your peoples? So I got some really good ones. I got Han Solo and Princess Leia, Cyclops and Emma Frost, and Rick Blaine and Ilsa Lund from Casablanca. So I am going to kill Cyclops and Emma Frost. Thank you. Well, not Emma Frost, but fuck some. I am going to fuck Rick Blaine and Ilsa Lund, mostly because, I mean, they just seem like a one night stand couple. Like, I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with them, but for that one night, it would be passionate. And then Han Solo and Princess Leia, of course, I'm going to marry them. All right. Jeff? Okay. I have Spider-Man and Kitty Pryde from Ultimate Spider-Man, Edward Scissorhands and Kim from Edward Scissorhands, and Phil and Rita from Groundhog Day. I am going to kill Edward Scissorhands and Kim. Is this because of the Scissorhands? It's probably because of the Scissorhands. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's dangerous. That's dangerous. That's dangerous. That's a disability. I'm already circumcised, so. Wow. I'm going to fuck Spider-Man and Kitty Pryde. Hello, Andrew Garfield. And I'm going to marry Phil and Rita. Okay. But just so you know, if you marry Phil and Rita, you'll be living that same day over and over and over and over again. Then I can fuck Andrew Garfield over and over and over again. Okay. Mandy and Matt? Can I have them, Mr.? Sure. I got Alan Bauer and Madison. Loretta Castorini and Ronnie Camareri. From Moonstruck? Yes. And Apollo and Midnighter from The Authority, who I'm totally going to marry and we're going to go on saving the world adventures. Yeah. I hate pass-arounds. Probably going to kill Alan Bauer and Madison because I don't see how that's going to work. Like, my parts aren't going to go with her parts. Plus sushi that night. And I guess fuck Loretta Castorini and Ronnie Camareri and then probably get tested for the for everything after. I would too, yeah. Then you can slap them and tell them to snap out of it. I guess I would probably marry... Who'd you choose? Marry Superman and Lois Lane. Okay. Boo. They're a nice, boring couple. It'd be good for the most part. I would fuck Cyclops and Jean Grey. They're pretty hot. Jean Grey. She'd be all up in your head. Like, she's just a super hot, natural redhead. And Cyclops works out every single day. Yeah, but he's still Cyclops. He's badass. Cyclops is badass and underrated. And I would kill Bruce Wayne. Cyclops was right. I would kill Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle because anybody could kill Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle because they don't have any fucking powers and they're lame. You should just get Superman to do it for you. I mean, you're his husband now. They killed Batman. It's okay. That's true. You could totally get Superman. Nick, who'd you choose? I got the... I got the... I got the pure, straight-up homies. Let's see who I got here. All right, I got Sam Baldwin, Tom Hanks, and Annie Reid, Meg Ryan. Don't remember what movie they're from. Let's kill them. We've listened to Seattle. It's okay. They get together many more times. You've got mail. That one? No, they're in Stupas in Seattle, but they're, like, in so many movies together, you can kill them multiple times. All right, I'm gonna kill them. Kill them. Do it. All right. Tom and Summer, portrayed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel from 500 Days of Summer, right? Yeah. Love that movie, but they are not a romantic couple. I'm gonna kill them. Wait, didn't you just kill Sam and Rita? Yeah, we played this game called Kill, Kill, Kill. Hey, if they're all in England, you can kill them all at one time. You have to marry one, Nick. You have to kill one, and you have to fuck one. You can't kill them all, buddy. I'm gonna kill and fuck everyone. All right, all right, all right. All right, these ones. Not you. I'll kill them. All right. All right, Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. All right, I'll, um... I just think I'm gonna cry right now. I'll marry them because, uh... Because they're super awesome? Because they're super awesome. Yeah, I like Emma Stone, and Peter Parker's cool. Oh, right. That's the homie. You did good, cool. Okay, so... That's good. So, uh, before I forget myself yet again, like, I almost did last time. You're Rachel. I know. You're welcome. My three couples I chose were Bigby, Wolf, and Snow White from Fables. That's a good couple. Buttercup, and Wesley. And Rep Butler, and Scarlett O'Hara. Okay. So, um... I don't... I think, uh... I think I'm gonna kill Bigby, Wolf, and Snow White. Okay, I'm good. I'm sorry. You can try. It's just... It's just... I know it's just because I want to do better things to the other two. Um, I want to... I just think it'd be the most, uh, craziest sex ever to sleep with Rep Butler and Scarlett O'Hara. She's so emotionally nuts, and he's so, like, emotionally unavailable. It might be, like, the craziest or saddest thing ever. I don't know. It's gonna take half a night to get around that dress. I will never be horny again. And after we're done... And after we're done, I'll be like, oh, that was so good. He'll be like, quite... He'll be like, frankly, my dear, I don't get it. I don't give a damn. And so, I'm going to marry Buttercup and Wesley because I... I don't know. They're just super awesome, and we could go, you know, in the swamps and, like, fight ROUSs, and I don't... It would be awesome. It would just be the best marriage ever. Um, and plus, I'd have, like, super cool friends like Fazzini. No, not Fazzini. He died. Uh, like Fezzik and Inigo Montoya, and it'd be, like, super great. We'd have, like, a party all the time. Um... Okay. Okay. So, that is our show for this week. Um, I'd like to thank our guests, Mandy and Matt, for coming on the show. Listen to their podcast, uh, what were we talking about? The podcast that doesn't know what it wants to be. Um, also listen to Matt every Monday, uh, on Angry Dorks. Uh, Matt, can people follow you at places? I have varied interests, Miss Steele. Very varied. Ah! Ah! Uh, can they follow you on Twitter, Facebook? Yeah. Uh, you follow me on Twitter, at Matt Blackwood. Pretty much find me anywhere, just Matt Blackwood. Mandy, do you have any of the tweeters? No. I'm busy doing fun and sexy things in other places than Twitter. But if you can find me there, we can make something happen. Woohoo! Okay, follow us on Twitter at AwkwardConvoPod, Tumblr, Facebook, Pinterest. I'm sure we're on LinkedIn. LinkedIn somewhere. Um, you can follow us everywhere. We're here every week, 12 to 1. You can follow Frank around. You can follow Frank around. We all, we all have separate, so we all have separate pages. So like our pages, Daishi is under Psycho, no, Darth Boobs. Both. Darth Boobs, uh, Psycho Fembot, Nathan is the Singularity, Jeff is Phantom Kitty. You're just squatting on a bunch of nicknames, aren't you? I did not pick the nickname! Frank is Bad Touch Bad Boy. I'm Sassy Pants Like All Our Pants. All our pages. Subscribe to us on iTunes. Like us. Write a comment. That's how we get featured. Um, I believe that's it, guys. Thanks to our sponsors. Oh, thanks to our sponsors. Sponsors? Sponsors. Rebel Rouser Industries, where you can find all your geek clothing needs. Um, and Discovery Science Center, thank you again for doing that awesome giveaway. And, uh, you guys have an awkward weekend. Yeah. Yeah. That's it? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I'm super bummed. out