Episode

We'll be right back. Can you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios? At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. Okay. You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Grant Thoman. The Kings of Internet Radio. The Kings of Internet Radio. It's time for another Grand Theft Audio Radio. This is Jake Belcher. And I'm Grant Thoman. Coming to you live from downtown Los Angeles. At Skid Row Studios dot com. Yeah. Starting off another week. It's one of those good weeks that are short. It's short. Four day work week for us here at the studio. Thank you short work week. Thank you Memorial Day. Yeah, that's one of my favorites. Did you have a good Memorial Day? It was a nice busy weekend for me. So I had some fun and had lots of work. Lots of work is never too bad. No, not in my industry. So. Better busy than bored, right? Indeed. Better busy than bored. And just sitting around hoping people come in. That's how it started off in the mornings. Just sitting there kind of twiddling your thumbs waiting for the guests to come in for breakfast. But we did mad lunch service and busy dinner services as well. Mad lunch services. Indeed. So nice busy weekend like I said. How was your weekend? I know you had a jam packed schedule of things to do. Chock full of craziness. Indeed. But it was a really good one. I mean we. Had a lot of fun. I went out to wrestling on Saturday night. Friday night. There was big speculation that Kevin's scene was going to be replaced. Like they had basically said that. Then he showed up and actually wrestled. But he didn't really wrestle. He just kind of took it easy. He did more shit talking to the fans than anything else. Wow. Which is entertaining. Is he playing a heel these days? No. He just plays a guy who does not give a shit. Oh, okay. I mean like that's been Steen's thing for a while. So he did get in the ring and did a little wrestling? Yeah. A little bit. A little bit. Did he win? Yeah. I mean he had a heavyweight championship match against a guy that really he. It's not that he shouldn't have beat him. But he wrestled a pretty good guy. And I mean it was entertaining enough. Right on. So I'm glad you had a good time with that. It was already. Pretty packed? Yeah. There's no doubt that that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was as busy as I've seen it there. So I think that having it on the holiday weekend really helped them out a lot. Especially on a Friday night instead of the Saturdays they usually do. Yeah. So well that's good. And lots of partying for over the weekend as well. Yeah. You know I had one bad thing happen. You know those things that you use in the pool where you like use the suction up and it's like. A little hand water gun. Yeah. Yeah. So my wife decided hey buy those like those would be fun. And I'm like yeah they are awesome. I was like no no we don't really need them. She's like no no. I'm buying. I'm buying. I'm like it's not something that we really need. Let's pass on this. Right. And eventually she talked me into it. Right. And we went to the party and some kid picked it up and filled it up and then just blasted the inside of my ear. So I'm having a slightly hard time with my left ear at the moment. I'm sorry to hear that. It's chock full of water and power and pressure and those things are strong. Yeah. And when you're taking a direct shot of water straight into the ear it's going to take a little while for that to dry out. It's unpleasant. To say the least. Yeah. Have you stood on your head yet to see if any more drains out? No. I'm not standing on my head for anything though. I'm hoping it clears up without me having to do something like that. Right. Because it sounds awful. Standing on your head is not that tough. It's not that it's tough. It sounds like it's a BS drag. Like who wants to do that? Right. Well some kind of inversion you know flip yourself over on the couch and put your legs where your head would usually be and put your head down and see if that lets the water like matriculate out of your body. That's a possibility. That's a possibility. I didn't really do much else. I mean I didn't go to the parade on Monday like I thought I would because I was kind of messed up. Kind of normal jazz. Yeah. So. I didn't see any movies. I don't even know what movies did well this weekend. Well the Avengers did wind up dropping to the number two spot. They only made 46.9 million dollars. Oh. Brings them up way over the half a billion dollars domestically and internationally all said and done with the domestic. Tally's there at one point three billion dollars. Maybe the third highest grossing film of all time or something like that. I think so at this point and it looks like it'll continue to make gobs and gobs of money because 46 million is still a hefty chunk of cash. But Men in Black 3 did a very reasonable 70 million dollars in business. I'm sure it was all because of last week's guest Sid Veda. Oh yes. I'm certain of it. I think I think they owe us at least 10 million dollars of their ticket sales. Promotions and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Because of us here at Skid Row Studios. You know I'll just take a starring role in Men in Black 4. Yeah. I think that's very generous of me. Yeah. I'll happily do you know an alien character. I'll even do it for scale. What's that? I'll even do it for scale. Oh that's really awesome of you. Yeah. I mean like I am generous. I'm full of love and I'm giving. Mm-hmm. So. But yeah. So you know it was a pretty decent week for the box office. I mean they're saying a record number of people traveled out of town and I could definitely see that at the restaurant. There was a scarcity to our regular weekend guests. A lot of people from out of town coming in to try the restaurant for the first time or hadn't been there in quite some time for sure. Battleship Out of Being number three with a paltry 13.8 million. Still a great movie to see on Memorial Day weekend. Yeah. Well not really. I got into another argument. I know we covered this a little bit last week about the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day. Right. And. And it's amazing to me how many people think they're the same thing. Just because someone served does not mean that they get honored on Memorial Day. I guess a lot of people seem to think otherwise. You gotta die. That's what it's for. It's for memorializing people who passed. Right. And it's amazing how many people think they're the same thing. Number four was The Dictator with 11.8 million. So. I totally want to see that. I'm glad it's still making money. Yeah. So not bad. It's. It's. Dude. It's. It's only four million behind Battleship in its. In its total take. And it's only been out two days longer. Hmm. So. Well. There's wildly varying reviews on that one. Some people love it. Some people hate it. Right. And as. As is usually the case with any Sacha Baron Cohen. Yeah. Film that he's like the. The. Leading actor in. Rounding out the top ten. Number five. Dark Shadows with 9.4. The Chernobyl Diaries at six with 9.3. What to expect when you're expecting. Seven at 8.9 million. Yeah. The best exotic Marigold Hotel. That's still making money. That's still making money. After 25 days it made 8.2 million dollars. So it. It. Had an increase of 97 percent. Over its last week. But it's. It's going wider and wider. And last week it had a big jump too. Right. Yeah it did. It had like a 47 percent jump. But I. I think it opened it in a. In a lot more. Theaters. What I just like about the times is they used to tell you how many theaters. Each of these. Films. Were shown in. So you could see the. The difference. And. And you can see what their. Average. Per. Theater. Was. Number nine was the Hunger Games with 2.9 million. That's just under the 400 million dollar. Mark. And it. I mean. Being the fact that it's still in the top 10 after. Six weeks of. More than that. Excuse me. Eight weeks of. Being out. That's a. Pretty good run for them. And Think Like a Man continues to stay in the top 10 with 1.8 million. The. Big. News though was the. Moonrise Kingdom. The new Wes Anderson film. It actually averaged. One hundred and thirty thousand. Seven hundred and fifty two dollars per theater. It only opened in four theaters. Two here in the. In Los Angeles. And two in New York. And that is a record for a non. Animated feature. So. Like what type of record? Like the most. For. The highest average per. Per theater for a. For a film. That's released like this. In this. In this. This very limited release. Now. Over the next month. They're going to be. Opening it to more and more theaters. So we'll see. It'll. It'll probably. Very much like. The best exotic. Marigold Hotel. It will see. Increases. In its. In its weekly revenue. Instead of decreases. Because it's not going to get that big. Initial bump. Like. The Avengers. Or Men in Black 3 had. Well. I want to see it. I haven't missed many of his films. So I'm sure I'll. Run out and check that one out too. Yeah. Yeah. It's. The cast is pretty awesome. I mean Bill Murray is always in his film. So he's in it. There's Bruce Willis. And. Tilda Swinton. I believe is how you pronounce her name. So. And she's. She's. Been doing more and more. So some really great actors. And a lot of young fresh faces. For. The new part. So. He's. He's really got some great stuff out there. And I'm looking forward to it myself. Well. Instead of going out to see movies. Because I was kind of laid up. I started off the weekend really. Like. Sick on Saturday. Yeah. And. Is there someone at our door? Quite possibly. Possibly. I don't know if we unlocked it or not. So I started off. Like. Sick on. On Saturday. And. I just sat around. Kind of didn't do. A lot. A lot. Then on Friday. You know. I went to Westland. Then I ate at. Casa Vega. Really late on Saturday night. And that just. Fucked me up. I always say that I hate that place. But. Then it worked out that. I actually found something. That. I liked to eat there. Usually their food is really gross to me. Like. I've had their carne asada before. It was disgusting. I've had their. Queso dip. It was awful. I went with like their. Meat burrito. And it was so spicy. Like. It just. Ruined my insides. Which restaurant is that? Casa Vega. In. Like. It's on Ventura. Maybe in. North Hollywood. This was on. This was on Friday. Before you guys went to the. After. After. Yeah. So like. 1230 Casa Vega was not a good idea. Probably not. Yeah. Probably not. It wrecked me. Yeah. Wrecked me. So it made it so I sat around. And watched a whole bunch of movies at home. I saw some crap this weekend. I bet you did. Let's see. What did I. Let's see. What did I watch? I watched. Piranha. Awesome. Which is. I only watched it because our guest on Friday. Is starring in the sequel to it. So I wanted to have some idea as to what it was about. We have a David Koechner coming in on Friday from. The. Anchorman. Anchorman. And so many other. Other comedies recently. This movie is so bad. It's just. Now he's in this. The second sequel. Right. Because there was. There's actually the fourth. Because you have Piranha. Piranha 2. Piranha 3. Now. I think that. Or 3D. This was the. The Piranha that was in 3D. But they just call it Piranha when it's on TV. Because it's not really in 3D. Oh. Okay. And then when the new one is. Piranha 3DD. What clued me into it was. I didn't really know. What clued me into it was. Everybody talked about the scene where Jerry O'Connell gets his dick bit off. By a Piranha in the movie. And it floats around in 3D right in front of you. Looks like you can swat away at his dick. Awesome. But. I didn't expect to see that. Because I thought it was like regular Piranha. But. Once I saw the dick. Come up and floating around in the water. I'm like. Oh. This must be Piranha 3D. This must be 3D. Yes. Okay. So. Awesome. Not good. I am. I am not surprised. Yeah. It was not good at all. But it did make me realize that. Holiday weekends. Are awesome. That. That extra day. Just means so much. I wish that some of the holidays. That we celebrate. That we talk about every day on here. Had their own days. Because there's some things on here. Like. This is a. Tourette Syndrome. Awareness Day. Awesome. Fuck shit. If you don't know what Tourette's is. That's your draw. That's my home. And my shit. Holy. Fuck. Damn it. Damn it. Get the fuck out of my life. Bitch. That is not Tourette's. No. That is someone who's just swearing for fun. There is a complete difference between that and. A person who actually has it. It's really strange when you actually encounter someone who does. I don't think I ever have. I have been in the same room with somebody. Not. Like. Where I'm interacting with them. But. Like. I'm sitting there. And all of a sudden. Some kind of odd statement is shouted out. And you kind of turn to look. And you're like. Well. I know it came from over there. But I didn't see who said it. But. And they're so infrequent. It doesn't happen like. Because it's. It's something that's not intentional. It's just like. It was so strange. And it's like. Man. The stuff this guy is saying. It's. I mean. Some of it was profane. And some of it was just. Jibber jabber. So. It's. It's just kind of a strange situation. When you're in a room with someone like that. Well. Now people are aware of it. So I feel that we did our job. Yes. We have. It's also. Strike out strokes day. It's a baseball holiday. In regards to. Battling strokes. Yeah. Stroke awareness. And then you see someone who has a stroke. Like. What they tell you to do now. Is they want you to like. Watch for their tongue. And make them smile. Like. Because of that way. You can get like. Your facial features going. If they can't do that. What you do. Is you put them at. Home plate. At Dodger Stadium. And. Then you just. Beat. Them in the head. Strike out the stroke. That's what you do. It's a revive. It's the end of. Revise. Your work schedule week. Which started last week. Which I. Meant to do. Kind of like. Mess ourselves around. And figure out how we can. Jigger all this together better. But I did a poor job at that. Let's see. What else. What other weeks are there? This is. Hurricane preparedness week. Yeah. We're about to head into hurricane season. So that makes. Are you ready? Oh totally. I totally have my. My emergency kit. I have. Everything ready. I got my DVR set. Just in case there's a. Hurricane going on. So I can. Go home and watch it later. Right. Because. You ain't got to have to worry about it. About as close as it gets for us. No. What we're dealing. What we're dealing with on the west coast here. Is all the. Debris coming over from Japan. From the tsunami last year. Oh. You hear. Did you hear what started showing up here recently. What's that. Radioactive tuna. Awesome. Yeah. Which is. They're sure is because they used. Like the ocean water. To try to cool down the. The reactor. As it was. About to explode. Of course. And that water just ran back into the ocean. And. The fish get it. And now they. Glow in the dark. Awesome. That's going to be my next. Sushi dish. Is the glow in the. Glow in the dark tuna please. They are saying that. The amount of radiation. That is in this tuna. Is okay. For human consumption. Awesome. I'm not trusting it. Hey man. It's the. This is how you become. Aki man. The. The half fish. Half human. Superhero. Well. Who's delicious. When served. Raw. All the Jews. And Sherman Oaks. Better get ready. For their superpowers. Have you ever gone through. Sherman Oaks. And really looked at. What the businesses are there. Not really. It is sushi place. After sushi place. After sushi place. I think the Jewish people. Just love sushi. I can't tell you why. I have no idea. But it's a very Jewish town. And it is just chock full. Of sushi places. Nail salons. Massage places. All places that are owned by Asians. Interesting. Yeah. That's true. I don't know what the sushi restaurants are. I think that they're. Probably more likely. To be owned by Jewish people. Than. The. Nail salon. And the massage place. Right. But. This is also. Black single parents week. Is there a white singles parents week? No. That's racist. Right. You can only say. You can only have things. So. If you have something that. Celebrates a race. Or. Like a color. It can be anything but white. Right. That is. That is just the basic rule. Because every week. Is white single parents week. Every other week is. Right. Yeah. Every week. I mean. That's the way that. You find out like. Hey mom. When's kids day? Like on mother's day. Every day is kids day. Hey. Grandma. When is. When is. Grandkids day? Every day is grandkids day. So it's the same logic here. Right. You know. Hey. Moesha. When is white single parents week? Every week is white single parents week. It's just. Ridiculous. As for actual days that we are celebrating today. I guess we're kind of coming off of. Like yesterday's memorial day. So I guess that makes people pay attention to. A couple of other things. This is a international day of United Nations peacekeepers. Oh. So all those people out there in Uganda. And. Wherever else. Yeah. I don't know where it is that you're supposed to be keeping the peace. Good job. Good job. Keep at it. Keep up that peace. And lastly. It's. Learn about composting day. Oh. Well awesome. I will go home and watch the. Curious George episode. Where he makes his own compost pile. Does he? And learn how to do it. Yes. Wow. That monkey can do anything. That's pretty awesome. I have seen him do amazing things. I think. Like a compost pile. Yep. That's one of them. That's one of the things he can do. He can do that. He can release the animals from the zoo by accident. He can. Getting into trouble with that. With that dash hound that he's always hanging out with. I think there was one where he. Went to a museum. And he accidentally broke off David's penis. I think you're thinking of another monkey. But maybe. I think it was George. I think it was George running around with a dick. Wrapped up in his tail. Maybe. I'm pretty sure. I don't think he has a tail. George doesn't have a tail. No. He has a tiny little nub right? He doesn't have a tail. So it looked inappropriate for it to be wrapped up in that tiny little nub. Yeah. Like he was trying to. Yeah. Hide it someplace else. Exactly. The curious George. The curious little. I think you're thinking of bi-curious George. The bi-curious little monkey. Bi-curious George indeed. Yes. When I am older and I have kids. I will bi-curious George. Oh yeah. You'll be required to. I will bi-curious George all day. Yep. You'll get to start your own compost pile with your kids. And if anybody ever comes up to me and says that you didn't do that. Well I am not a reneger. I bi-curious George. That is what I do. Hey. Instead of like going with our. Um. With our usual musical break. I think in honor of today's video. Or today's um. Holiday. We're now going to learn to compost in your backyard. Back right after this. Hi. I'm Owen Bailey for the Sierra Club. And I am so excited about today's green how-to tip. Composting. Every day in the United States. We throw away more than 200 million pounds of trash. And 15% of that comes from our yard waste and kitchen waste. All of that is ending up in our overtaxed and limited landfill space. And if you ever wondered how much of that you could be recycling and reusing. Right in your own backyard and garden. I think you'd be amazed to find out that almost all of it. Can be turned into fertilizer by composting. Composting is the process by which organic material. Breaks down. So it becomes that natural and free fertilizer. That's great for your lawn. It's great for your garden. Trees. Shrubs. You name it. And it's so simple. What I have here is a compost tumbler. This costs around $150. But the reality is you don't have to spend any money to start composting. You could use a wooden box in your backyard. You could start a pile for compost. You could even create a composter out of chicken wire and cinder blocks. Really doesn't matter how you do the compost. I like the compost. I like the compost tumbler for a couple of reasons. Number one. It has a lid. Which keeps everything self-contained. Number two. The tumbling motion is a very easy way to turn the compost and get air in there. Which you need. And third. This collects the liquid that comes off the compost. As what's called compost tea. It's a great additional fertilizing supplement for your yard or for your garden. What do we need to make great compost? Four things. Water. Carbon. And nitrogen. Or an easier way to think about carbon and nitrogen. Carbon is brown kitchen and yard waste. Nitrogen is green kitchen and yard waste. Things to avoid would be things like meat. Fatty substances like salad dressing. Or citrus. Which is hard to break down. Let's get started. Let's start putting some stuff in our compost tumbler. We'll start with the brown. The organic carbon rich materials. Dried leaves. Straw. Wood chips. Paper. We're going to put all that in first. Before we get to the nitrogen. We want to make sure we have enough of the carbon. We need a lot of it. But then the nitrogen. The grass. The salad ends. Fruits and vegetables that you have left over from the kitchen. A lot of this is just great. Great. You might want to make smaller pieces. The smaller the pieces the faster things break down. Other things to keep in mind. Egg shells are great. Coffee grounds. Coffee filters. Just throw them all right in there. They're all going to break down beautifully. And remember. If you want to use newspaper. Really great idea. Again. Smaller pieces. Shred it. Rip it in smaller strips. Smaller pieces break down faster. Faster you get your compost. Well. We have filled our compost tumbler. Keeping in mind. You need a lot more brown than green. You need 25 to 30 times more carbon than nitrogen. It's not an exact science. So you'll have to play around with it. But every couple of days. You'll turn the compost tumbler. Make sure it gets air in there. Make sure it stays moist. But not soaking wet. And then you'll have a little bit of a mix. And then you'll have a little bit of a mix. And then you'll have a little bit of a mix. And then you'll have a little bit of a mix. And four to six weeks later. You'll have great compost for your lawn or your garden. And the final bonus. You're doing your part to help the planet. Now go forth and make your compost! Thanks for joining us. Taking an action like this is a great way to start celebrating Earth Day. Every day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You are listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. I'm not doing with you. Please do with me. Fuck that. Will you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios. At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. you are listening to grand theft audio radio with jake belcher and brad thomas the kings of internet radio all right you're back live in los angeles as jake belcher and i'm brad thoman coming at you live on skin rose studios we're uh proud to bring you our first guest of our shortened week i got to check out this guy's comedy videos and i thought he was hilarious so i jumped at the chance of getting him uh live into the show and i'm glad to be here with him today uh you may have seen him recently at uh the uh san diego comedy madhouse you may have seen him at the john lovitz or um the the um laugh factory in long beach all over the place ladies and gentlemen may we present to you mr el pinche peter oh thank you you guys rock hey thanks for coming in man thank you for having me man even in the morning it's it's uh it's a it's a great experience what would you normally be doing at this time of day oh sleeping my brother yeah that's one of the great things about the stand-up comedy lifestyle like you get to sleep late every day basically, right? Yes. And you know what? I've been here for 10 years in LA and I've never realized this traffic thing we got going. Yeah, you joke about it, but then you actually have to wake up in the morning and deal with it. Completely different, right? Completely. I mean, different from theory than fact. I gotta tell you. I think that's actually one of the reasons the guys go into comedy is just the fact that, oh, you know, I can joke about it, but I'm never gonna have to deal with the traffic. It makes sense. Because you're never traveling at the peak hours because you're not gonna be going on stage at 6 o'clock, so there's no reason to be on the road until, you know, 7.30. By that time, you're on stage and crack it wise and when you're done at 11 o'clock, there's just the drunks driving by. Exactly. Just watch out for them. Just watch out for the drunks and you'll be okay. Exactly. I guess that is one of the drags. Like, you do end up on the road a lot with people who have been drinking at that time. Yeah, it is. It is. And you know, I do think about that. I didn't before when I was younger. You know, when you're younger, you are one of the drunks. Yeah. Now that you get older, you got a family, you got responsibilities, you got mortgages, you'd be surprised how that sobers you up a little bit. Oh, I'm sure. You know, priorities rearrange as you get a little older. So what did you do for the holiday weekend? You know, I actually took the weekend off and I slept. Oh, all right. Yes. I've been on the road for a while and since my priority, when I told my personal assistant whenever she arranges the travel, I said, you know what, I don't want to battle traffic. And I was wondering, till today, I was wondering, why am I always going from the club to the airport? Taking these four o'clock in the mornings. Your booking abilities suck, honey. And she says, no. Are you related to your booker or is it a different person? I don't think you might be talking about a wife. No, yes, he is. Okay. He is my booker. She's actually my wife of 11 years. All right. Congratulations. Thank you very much. We just celebrated two years ago. I mean, two weeks ago, our 11 year anniversary. Well, congrats, man. That's awesome. Yeah, man. I hope to make it that far. I'm about a year and a half in right now myself. Is that right? Yeah. What about you? I'm still single. Still single. Yep. Yeah, I'm still living vicariously through him and his awesome adventures. Comes over and sees what the house could really look like because it's just, there's just clothes everywhere. It only gets cleaned up if a lady's coming over and since that doesn't happen very frequently, it's like, when it does, it's a mad dash to throw everything into whatever closet space there is. All right, you can see most of the floor and the bed is cleared. To me, the real difference is you still get to have a video game system in the living room. Yes, indeed. I do not get video games in the living room. I have to put those off on the floor. It's like in the man cave. It's just not appropriate anymore. It's a different, like any other experience, it's got its pros and its cons. This is true. You know, you don't think about it as, you know, when you're younger, you don't think about coupling up. I never did. Before, when I was younger, for me, comedy was about getting laid, telling jokes, and getting drunk. The getting laid part, for sure. Yeah, right. That's the important part, you know. Was your wife someone you met like on stage? No, not at all. I actually, you know, because, I am such a, I'm just not very practical at all. So I decided, I was going to, the only thing practical I was going to do in my life was fall in love. Oh. Yeah, so I actually, kind of systematically though, searched a certain kind of person, and I wanted someone that was practical, good with money, head for finance, you know, everything that I'm not. Right, of course. That's smart, man. I mean, you don't want to have two people who are great at the same thing and bad at others. Right, you're right. Is she a fairly, serious person? Yeah, you know she is. She's all business. Mm-hmm. You know, and I'm not at all. You know, I'm all about having fun, you know, that's the comedic career I have, and I really enjoyed it, and she, she, you know, just like anybody else, she can enjoy a good joke, but no, she sees this as a way to make money. She's very capitalistic, which I love. I mean, you know. You know what, and that's no fun as a comic in that part, like actually trying to figure out how to make money for the gigs, like that's the drag. Yeah, that is, that's the drag, but you know, you need that fire. Mm-hmm. You need, I mean, if it was up to me, man, I'd be telling jokes for beers for the rest of my life. Right, and what you need to do is you need to like get out of LA and go other places because like, it's really hard to get paid in LA to do comedy. You know, you're right, unless you're doing television. Uh-huh. And then your voice, as we were talking before we started the show here, your voice just grows when you hit the road. Mm-hmm. I actually, one of my, I came back from New Mexico. Amazing. And you know what I learned? I mean, that was one of the farthest I've ever traveled to comedy. You want to know what I learned? Is that there's actually comedy clubs in New Mexico. So that's good to know. To me, anything that says Mexico attached to it, I got a new, hey, it's new, maybe it's a little bit better. There they have comedy clubs. So there's one good, one point for New Mexico. Good for them. They are. They're great people at a great state. The hospitality was amazing. I did learn though, as a comic, you know, you can sit in your computer and learn about New Mexico. Look up every, Google New Mexico and learn, everything about it just about on the computer. But it's not the same as actually taking the time and going there. Because you're just, you're just affected in such a way that you're not in the computer, which I was inspired by. Wrote five, I'm not, I usually stick to my set, but just being in New Mexico inspired me to write five top jokes at the top of my head. One of them that I got to share with you guys, man. All right. The hospitality was amazing. So much so that they actually hired somebody from the college to drive me around and show me Albuquerque. You know, the history of the town and all that. And I was admiring these huge, amazing, majestic looking mountains. And I was just in awe of these picturesque, you know, mountains. And they said, I just couldn't, I just couldn't help but say, you know, that's just beautiful. And the guy said, you know, what's even more beautiful? What's underneath these beautiful mountains. And I said, well, what is that? He goes, we have the biggest weapons of mass destruction underneath these mountains. Really? Wow. So that's where they're all from. They're all stored. Yeah. According to this student. And I said, don't worry. According to this student, I said, you know, doesn't it worry you living so close to these weapons of mass destruction? I mean, it worries the hell out of me and I live in California. Yeah. Hey, you know, I guess, I guess you would have a sense of acceptance because that's probably one of the first places that's going to get bombed. It's not like, you're not going to have to deal with any kind of fallout. It's just going to hit. You know, once you see those rockets go and those missiles are off, you're like, all right, about 20 minutes, we're going to be dead. Hey, honey, let's get one last one in. Come on, let's rub one out with each other before the end of days because those rockets are now on their way right here because that's where they launched from. And at least you're not going to have to deal with the zombies afterwards or any of the, like, the nuclear winters. It's like, hey, at least, so I guess, you know, there's a sense of knowing that your own destiny lies within those mountains potentially. A sense of peace, if you will. Inner peace. I'm at, one with the fact that I am going to die very quickly and that is fine. And I'll know ahead of time because I'll see the launch go on first. So, ha ha, call my friends just before I say, hey guys, the rockets are going. It's nice knowing you. I got to go see my wife. Dude, something you said in there reminded me of a news story that we're going to cover today. I am so scared to death that zombies are here. There is a witness that says a naked man was chewing the face off of another naked man on a downtown freeway on-ramp to the point where the police came up when they tried to stop him and he was growling at him like, biting his face off and chewing off and spitting out chunks of his face. That sounds like a gay hookup gone wrong because I think the one guy wanted him to give him head not just start eating his head. It was just a misunderstanding. Not that head, the other one, you idiot. My face, my beautiful face. I mean, it just seems like that is zombie behavior. And what's crazy is that he wasn't, they didn't even, they weren't able to arrest him. The cops that showed up actually gunned him down. Yeah. Because he wasn't responding and he continued to attack this person. So they shot and killed him. It's like, well, where's the taser on this one? I want to know what's going on inside that brain. Not post-mortem because that's just when it's going to start over again. Talk about living in the moment. I'm excited that they do have surveillance video of this. Jesus Christ. I totally want to see what it looks like to see a guy biting another dude's face off. That just sounds awesome. Two naked dudes just went really wrong. I told you not to come in my ass. I want to eat your face. Get your face off. Wow. That is terrible. That is intense. Yeah. That's how it goes, unfortunately, in my mind. Two naked dudes on a freeway off-ramp for crying out loud. This is the worst spot for us to hook up. Well, it's very possible that the zombie apocalypse has begun. Well, everyone make sure you got enough shotgun shells and only aim for the head. Yeah. I think this is a really important lesson for people. Don't meet other people off of Craigslist. Because you just never know what you're going to get. You just never know. Yeah. Go to Facebook, the trusted source. Yeah. Facebook is amazing. It's amazing how many people you run into from your past that you just never thought about. Like I thought about again, but there they are right in front of your face and you get to see what they're up to. Right. You know what amazes me is that people from my past that were so excited to befriend me and now we're friends and we don't talk. Yeah. We just exchange. We're just friends on Facebook now. I think some people collect numbers. You know, they want to see how many friends they can get online. We have a guy who we used to work with that I know did that. I mean, he would just add people that I know he didn't know. Like you're adding Louis Black. You've never even met Louis Black. I mean, what's wrong with you, man? That's amazing how many people actually do and then accept those. Like, hey, yeah, I'll be your friend because they want to get their numbers up too. But it's like, we've never even met. And I guess that's why you have the different ones that you can rank them now. There are acquaintances or just nobodies that I just wanted to try and friend. I haven't noticed that. Yeah. Well, whenever I try to send a friend's request or accept one, it says, well, where do you want to classify them? Oh, yeah. I didn't think about why they were doing that. But now here we are. Yeah, indeed. I think it has to do with the news feed so that you see the ones that you actually say are your close friends. You're going to see more of their news pop up on your feed than the acquaintances. I guess I shouldn't knock Facebook. I mean, here I am sitting doing you guys' show, right? That's right, man. This is where we met, through Facebook. I would never have seen any of your videos. Right. It is a very powerful tool. I don't necessarily use it to socialize anymore, which, you know what? According to my manager, my wife, I have to to include people, I guess. It's just really tough to chime in on every comment that is left. But from what I'm understanding now, you have to give yourselves a sense of a humanistic image and a humanistic image. I guess that's kind of what helped Dane Cook get started off of MySpace. I'm actually personally responding to everything and building up his fan base on there. It got to the point where I was talking to my wife about this and I'm like, what should I do? She's like, well, you should play all the Facebook games and help out in everybody's farm. I'm like, because that way if you help out in their farms, maybe they'll come out and they'll see your live show. There you go. Wow, that is really taking this concept one step too far. Oh, wow. That's pretty much all my notifications are these days is the occasional one that something might get posted on one of our pages or it's, oh, somebody from Farmville needs this from you and somebody from this game needs this from you and you're just like, wow, I remember when I first started playing these games I was doing that. Now how much do I hate it? I don't want these anymore. Yeah, it's terrible. Those games have taken it over completely. They are as a brand new form of addiction. Yeah. I mean, I tell people that I don't play video games anymore but it's a total lie because I just play these stupid games on Facebook. Yeah. And I'm like, I mean, they're just not that much different than Super Mario Brothers. How many times, I mean, my smartphone has probably got a dozen games on it there for when I'm on the bus and train. You know, that's exactly why I refuse to upgrade phones. You still got a flip phone. I still, not even. No, no, it's a slider. It's one of the slide phones with the little keypad. But I mean, the best it can do is remember the numbers. That's about it. Well, that's the important part. No one's going to look at that phone and think they need to steal it. Right. Yeah, you leave that on the tape, the table at the coffee shop by accident. It's going to be back. You're going to go back up and say, I think I left my phone. Oh yeah, here it is. Some bum's going to be calling after you. You left your phone, sir. Exactly. You know, you're so funny. People actually will stop you. Excuse me, sir, you forgot your phone. Your shitty phone that's sitting there. I don't even want to be close to it because it makes me look like I'm poor. Get that thing out of here. They bring it over holding it with a napkin because they don't want to even touch it and they're like, I don't want that old technology to rub off on me. I'm going to feel like I have to go back and get an old flip phone. It's insulting almost to people. Well, really, the good thing is keeping the information because I was trying to call my friend this weekend. I misplaced my phone and I was supposed to go to a barbecue and I couldn't, I had no memory of what his number is at all. I mean, the last time I've had to dial a number, I can't even tell you when that was. You just push a button and you call him up. That's right. Like, people don't even have phone numbers anymore. They just have a listing on my phone. Yeah, I number them. You know, your six, your five, that speed dial, they got numbers. For mine, if I got to find somebody's number, I use the keypad to start typing in their name with the letters that correspond with the number and my phone will tell me, oh, it's either this or four other people and I can go, oh, that's the one I want. Boom. Wow. I don't have to, I mean, just having the phone number in there, I don't even think to memorize numbers anymore. There are a select few that I have memorized because, you know, mom and dad, best friends, and work. But aside of that, everything else is in that phone. Work is a good one to remember. You don't want to have to rely on your phone for that. You better memorize that one. Yeah. I look at phones the way, I buy my phones the way I buy my sunglasses. Cheap. See, I drink, so I forget them a lot. I think I've been to New Mexico, Texas, or at least New Mexico, Arizona, Vegas, and I think I've left the phone in every comedy club. And every time you've gone back, it's been there. Oh, yeah, somebody turned this in. Nobody wanted to take it. If it had been an iPhone 4, they would have been like, no, sorry, nobody found a phone. Sorry. With this crap, it's been two years, Pinchy. Are you coming back to pick it up or what? That's awful. Okay, Pinchy, how did you get started in comedy, man? How did you decide that this is what you wanted to do? I'm actually an actor by trade. A theater actor, if you will. Very much to be or not to be it. I actually spent some time in Ashland, Oregon. You know, being Prince Hamlet, of course, everybody's dream when you do Shakespeare. Cool. And actually, from San Diego, I started doing classical theater. You know, Tennessee Williams, Sam Shepard, you know, Stella. I found out that if you don't sing and dance, there's no future for you in theater. Yeah. And I don't say... For theater, you really do have to be that well-rounded performer. That musical theater is where the money is if you want to make a career. Right. And I found out very quickly that I could not dance and I could not even sing. Well, I'm sure after a couple of shots of tequila, the dancing does happen. It happens for all of us. That's the only way I get out of the dance floor is I've had enough to drink. I mean, I'll karaoke, don't get me wrong. Right. But it's just not singing. Favorite song to karaoke? What is that? What's your favorite song to karaoke? Oh, Pour Some Sugar On Me. Oh, all right. Dig it. You know, you got to... Exactly. Def Leppard. Oh, I think I just dated myself today. Nonetheless, it was, yeah. So I graduated from the theater when I realized I didn't have a skill in singing or dancing. I figured, let's, I don't want to abandon the idea because I, theater's made me who I am. And I figured, you know what? Let's go into one man shows. And that really appealed to me because they infused everything that I was learning. I didn't have to go take classes. It was pretty much theater, you know, comedic monologues. Then after that, it just kind of evolved from one man shows to comedy. And what I really liked about that is just that comedy, I'm using my own material now. I'm not regurgitating anybody else's lines, opinions, or ideas. Now they're mine. So I feel very attached to my work and it aids you in feeling like an artist. You know, you go down or you rise or you fail with your own, by your own merit, with your own material. Well, I showed your video this weekend to my wife. We were talking about who we have coming on this week and I said, oh, I got this really hilarious comic coming on and we're just sitting around. So I was like, I'll show you the video. So we're watching it and she keeps quoting back one of your jokes to me like over and over again. She loves the pronunciation of the name. Oh, that is a killer joke, man. I mean, thank you so much, you know, and it's very significant in my life. It's one of those jokes that I didn't make up. It actually happened. It was, it's a very easy joke to deliver because I just retell the story of coming to America. You know, and it was my little way. As a matter of fact, I'm going to send you a link. I had a good friend, Corey Blevins of mine. He's an aspiring filmmaker in the UCLA film school. He did a little, shot a little mini documentary, which is funny enough. Your wife, your wife will love it because she'll, it'll explain the whole joke. Oh, really cool. And the way of coming to America. And it was my way of, my way of rebelling, my way of accepting assimilation, but keeping a little part of myself. Like, where were you born? I was born in Mexico. I was born four blocks from the border. Really? Wow. Yeah. It's like, coming to America was inevitable. It's like living next to Disneyland. Yeah. How are you not going to do? And then not buying a season pass or something. Just staring every way, every day, watching, watching the, the Matterhorn go around, run with the friars. Every day. I'm not going on that. You know, I tell you, you kid about that, but I did live four blocks from the border and my first best Christmas gift I ever got was a telescope. Not a telescope. What do you call those? It was, I guess a telescope. Yeah. And I, and I spent, I go up on the roof of my house and I dreamt upon a star for maybe one day. You saw how much greener the grass was just on the other side of the fence? Yes. Yes. And it can be, all be bad in Mexico. There has to be things that are good there, right? Of course. You know, well, I got a, if you're in the drug cartel, things are great for you right now. Exactly. Well, I don't want to, I mean, it's, it's just as, when a government, you know, it's just as corrupted other, other nations, I'm guessing. It's just like, it's, when you're living next to Disneyland, you can't help but fall in love under the spell. You know, the problems with Mexico, well, you know, unfortunately, even though I was born here, when I, I got to America when I was 10, I kind of left, left everything behind. All my family moved with me as well. I'll ask that next. So, we kind of became, you know, we became like a first generation American. We, we, we pretty much cut all ties to Mexico, you know, and I kind of put that exclamation point when I became a citizen. What was the family impetus for moving? Is it just everyone wanted to come this way or? You know, it was because we could do it legally, I'm guessing. I'm guessing it's geographical as well because only four blocks from the border. Four blocks from the border. And the border where? Like Texas, Arizona? No, actually the biggest, it was called Tijuana. Uh-huh. The, the Mexico, the Tijuana San Isidro border crossing. That's where I was born. Ironically enough, when I moved to America, we moved four blocks from the border. Wow. So, I could see my house. I could almost say hi to grandma. Did grandma stay back there? I left my telescope on the other roof. Yeah, exactly. It's only eight blocks away. I'll go get it. Yeah, grandma was the only one that died. I mean, grandma was the only one that didn't make it. Here. And by choice. Uh-huh. She wanted to stay. She wanted to stay. She came to America. She said, I've been to SeaWorld. I went to Disneyland. I got it. This is what America's about. That shows all of it. That's enough of it. I got it. So, yeah, it was, you know, it was, it's a tough change. You know, learning another culture, learning another language, assimilating. You know, I personally, the way that I went through, I fell in love with the beach. Blondes were very nice to me. I have a, I have a soft spot for blondes. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? We're in that wonderful time of year now. I was noticing on, when we got off the train in here to downtown LA this morning, that summer clothes have now come back out for the ladies. Like, it's all, um, scoop neck tops and, um, the tight, uh, short skirts. Yes. This is my favorite time. I'd rather have the winter and like be cool and cold, um, for my, me personally. Right. But, um, out in the public, when you can actually see girls walking around, uh, like they dress in LA, this is, mwah. California blondes, man, you gotta love them. Yeah. I, I, uh, discovered them in, discovered them. Be like Christopher Columbus. This one is mine. I claim this one in the name of little peachy Peter. Bam. Yeah. With a little flag sticking out of her shoulder. So now there's a report on Christopher Columbus that said Christopher Columbus was actually Jewish and he was looking for a place for Jews to not be persecuted. This is ridiculous. I mean, how many like revisionist stories of Christopher Columbus was it going to be? I've heard like 10 different, 10 different versions for like why he got on the boat and why he came and it just keeps changing. Ridiculous. He probably had a telescope and he looked over. The telescope story is awesome. Dope. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Why for me, that's a very important, that out of all the jokes, the fact that that one really hits home for her, that I really appreciate that. There's really a significant joke in my whole bit, even though, even before sucking your own dick and everywhere you go, Jose cooks your food. Those were good too, but it was just, the whole idea, I don't want to ruin it for other people. I want people to come out and catch your ass. You rock. You are way worth going out of your way to go out and see. I think you have a good, fresh new voice that people should be listening to. And, thank you. Thank you. I'm trying to, I'm trying to revolutionize the whole, the whole, you know, I, I, I was one of those kids that did watch the, remember the, the night of the improv? I was addicted to that. I have so many VHS to this day. I have to watch every standup thing I can see. I just want to see what everybody does and what type of timing they use on everything. I love it. I'll tell you what I want to infuse. I want to revolutionize, I guess, you know, the standup hit its peak, I guess, back in the eighties. Remember the suit and tie dress? I think that's when we really hit our peak as comedians. And I think we must evolve with the time now. I think I've, most of the comics that I meet now, they're trying to revive this, what we used to do instead of evolving with the times. What I want to do now, I think myself as a revolutionary now in this field, I want to infuse the standup with more physicality. As you can see me walking around on stage, I love that I infuse this, this Suzuki slash Chicano theater, breaking the fourth wall completely and physicalizing your jokes and your commentary. I learned that to be honest between us three by watching the African-American comedians. I learned they get two laughs per joke. One, when they deliver the punchline and then second, when they physicalize the punchline. Like the face that they make or the reaction that they have. Exactly. And that's the second. And I guess I've always been a big fan of that. I mean, let's talk about efficiency, right? Two laughs per one joke. That's not bad, you're right. That's, you know, so that's my own twist on being Mexican-American myself. I will incorporate my own teachings which is from Chicano theater, which is, I don't know if you're familiar with, the Chicano is a movement started back in the, briefly started back in the sixties by Luis Valdez that used to perform, he used to call them the one acts. He wrote about seven one acts and he performed them in flat bed trucks in the fields of San Fernando Valley. Very drawn to that being from LA or, you know, loving the city of LA, very drawn to that story. Being a Chicano myself, very drawn to that way of expressing yourself, the way of art. And that really, I gotta tell you, man, I recommend it to everybody. Not only do you polish up your Spanish, which I think it's, you know, it'll be essential. Give it a couple more years. It's coming. Exactly. I don't know. A lot of your friends and family are headed back to Mexico because the opportunities aren't here anymore. So it's like, this is something that most of us are sat in. I'm like, wow, there's so many that are coming over. Now they're all leaving. Wait, wait, wait, where are you going? I hear that report. Do you think that's really true? The report basically is saying that it's evened out. The number that is coming in is matching the number that's going out. So we're not either growing or losing, but the amount that are leaving the country has increased and the amount coming into this country has decreased. I don't know about that. I don't know what type of real opportunity is being created in Mexico right now where people are like, oh yeah, it's so much better down there. Yeah, no, no, I don't. I mean, look, I think the biggest tool we have, if you really wanted to attack this migration north is television, right? I say we invest money in producing these commercials that tell people in other countries, you know what? Coming to America is not all that, that's cracked up to be. You're going to be hungry. You're going to be starving, you know, but we don't- You're going to have to share a bedroom with four other guys. Exactly. But we know we give these people the illusion. Like remember, I want to live in America. I want my own washing machine. We give you, we give up these people. We give these people the illusion they're going to come here and find their dream. And you know, and it's just not going to happen. It's another country like any other country with our problems, with our financial woes, with our own sense, with our homelessness, you know, they're not coming to their dream. But then again, it's maybe a lot easier for us to say because we're already in Disneyland. We can say, well- We've already drank the Kool-Aid. Exactly. We don't want to share it with anybody else though. We like our Kool-Aid. Well, there's only so much. Yeah. This is true. Hey, we got to go to our next break of the day. Will you stick around and do some news stories? Yes, of course. It'd be my pleasure. All right, cool, man. So we're going to preview our guests for tomorrow. This is Michael Gelbart. So we'll be back right after this. Apparently doctors are saying, doctors are saying now that penis size doesn't matter. That women can only feel the first two thirds of the penis. So penis size? Not important. But I'm not making up any stories here. When I just point out to you that most doctors are short Jewish guys and Asians. So it's kind of in their best interest to believe this and spread it along. Call me crazy, but I'm going to believe it's true when I hear it from Dr. Jamal Shabazz. I'm going to believe it's true. I'm going to believe it's true. I'm going to believe it's true. A lot of guys brag to women too. Guys are braggers. I was at a club recently and I saw some guy bragging to women that he's a male stripper. Now I understand this, but why does he have to mention that he's male? Like the woman's going to go, oh, you're a stripper. What gender would that be? Let's check this out. I want an honest response from the guys in the room. I may not get one. Let's see what happens. Of the guys here with their wives or girlfriends, who likes to go see strippers now and then? Anybody? Okay. Five guys keeping the whole stripper industry afloat. All right. Now let's check the difference. Honestly, ladies, do you ever like to go see the male stripper? Sometimes. There you go. More women responded than men. Because women know they can say whatever the hell they want and still have sex at the end of the night. That's right. Women can say whatever they want. No guy's going to be at home later going. You get your damn hands off me, lady. How come every time there's a show where the women go see male strippers, they're always wearing costumes? Is that the way that women like it? They like the women, the strippers in the costumes. So here comes the doctor of love. You know? He's a doctor, so he's got a small penis. So what's he doing? Cowboy Bill. Yee-haw. Bang. Bang. Bang-bang. Bang dee bang. Guys don't need that when we see strippers. Guys are content with all right guys. Welcome to the stage. You know. Another naked woman. Never hear a guy go, This sucks! Where's the fireman hat? You're listening to Skid Row Studios. Yes, yes. We're listening to Skid Row Studios. I'm not doing it with you. Please do it with me. Fuck that. Will you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios? At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. Okay. You are listening to Skid Row Studios. You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Brant Thoman. All right. You're back on Grand Theft Audio Radio. This is Jake Belcher. And I'm Brant Thoman, and we're at Skid Row Studios. Did you almost say Brant Thoman? Yeah, I almost said my name wrong. I didn't even know your own name. That's ridiculous. We're continuing forward on this episode with Adelpinche Peter, and Brant Thoman, we're going to go to a couple of news stories before we get back into Peter and a little bit more about him. Okay, so some of the stories this week that are making me think, what the hell is going on with the world? You can now buy Elvis's... Wait, I should turn off that fan. You can now buy Elvis's original tomb. He is now auctioning off where he had originally been intended to be buried. Okay, so because he's buried at Graceland, correct? Yeah, that's right. So now there is... Okay, they reburied him at Graceland, Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wow. So if you want to spend the rest of eternity where the king was supposed to, it is now available. That's amazing. What are they expecting to get? Try to guess how much money they expect people to pay to live where the king was supposed to be. $8 million. Higher. $12 million. Higher. $24 million. Lower. Okay. $18 million. A little lower. $16. $16 million is how much they think they're going to get to live the rest of eternity where the king was supposed to. To have their body entombed there. Well, how much did that Marilyn Monroe one get? The Marilyn Monroe one. But see, on that one, you actually got to be above her. Right. Your tomb was going to be right. Big difference to me there. I mean, because at least you can say I'm laying on top of Marilyn Monroe forever. Yep. And I would be buried face down for that one. They're like, no problem. And that one went for like $4.5 million. And that's just for a spot above her. So this tomb, they're expecting almost four times that much. Yeah, $16 million. I mean, I am a cheap bastard. I do not put up money on something unless I really, really have to. Could you imagine paying for something like this? No. Well, I don't know. I have to see the tomb. I have to have the check that says I have $16 million first to even consider it. But I'd like a look. You know what? I don't think here, I don't think it's going to be outrageous. I don't think it's an outrageous price. I mean, we pay for everything from this man, right? We collect his turd, his saliva, his sweat. I mean, $16 is, I think $60 is. He's losing appeal at $16. It's like, do these people not know that Elvis has left the building? He's not even there. You have a plaque next to yours that says, at one time, Elvis, the king of pop or king of rock was entombed here. Now this guy is here. You know what? Here's who's going to buy it. Charlie Sheen. That would not surprise me. Dude, if he's going to go spend all the $225,000 for an old Super Bowl ring from Lawrence, I don't know. If he's going to go spend all the stuff that he's purchased, why not have a nice place to put that stuff, too? I'm going to have that all in this one tomb, and I'll have all my cool collectibles. I'll have my little Fiat in there, too, so if I feel like getting up and driving around when I'm a zombie. You know who I was thinking? I was thinking Nicolas Cage. Oh, you're right, man. That guy spends his money on shit. He's more of an Elvis. And he's a huge Elvis fan. Absolutely right. That wouldn't, well, actually, the problem is, he ain't got no money, either. He had to work that deal out with Disney to bring all those crap movies so he could get out of debt so that now he can see what he's doing. Now he can maybe start making money again. Well, maybe in a couple of years. Maybe when it goes up for sale again. Yeah. You know, but... I already said that. I just saw the movie. What is it? When he was Sailor? When he's Sailor, he does Elvis a lot. The old movie, his character's name is Sailor with that hot blonde. They're always screwing in the movie. Back in, that's all they do in the movie. William Dafoe is the bad guy, the porn guy that makes, when they get to that trailer trash park. Nick Cage? Yeah, Nick Cage. Nick Cage and Laura Dern. Nick Cage and Laura Dern. And he's Elvis. Wild at Heart? Yes, Wild at Heart. There you go. There we go. I remember that one. He also had the one where he's the Flying Elvis. Yeah, that's right. And then his jacket from that new movie that he's a skull. What is it? Yeah, Ghost Rider. It's based on his 1963 comeback. It's Elvis' jacket. Yeah, I was just reading that. So I'm thinking Nick Cage. Nick Cage is like Colin Disney going, All right, I'll sign another crappy deal, but I must... I must have this. I want to be buried here. Well, there's one for the money, two for the show, three to buy the crypt. Do I have a place to go? Now, don't you? That's awful. We make fun of him, but you know what? That guy did set it on fire, man. He had... Maybe whether or not he was the best singer around, maybe that's arguably, you know, not... But he had the look, that charisma that drives the women nuts, man. In his time, there was nobody who was even close to him. Right. He was a marketing team. I got to tell you. The Colonel did a great job of making sure that, you know... And by restricting access to him too is what made it so much... Made him so much more desirable. Exactly. The fact that you couldn't get to see the King without going through the Colonel first was just like, okay, well... He was one of those people that you mean... Sure, he did the music, but then he also did movies, and he also did... I mean, he was like one of those multifaceted performers. Right. Anytime they could make money off of Elvis being someplace, they were going to do it. Exactly. He was the Will Smith of his day. Right? Yeah. Except for he didn't stick around to make his shitty kids get movie roles. Right. And did you see him wig out on that French reporter? Yeah, that was awesome. That was the funniest thing. And you know what? We had... Last week, we had Sid Veda in, and he did a couple of scenes in Men in Black 3 with Tommy Lee Jones. We got to meet Will Smith, and he's like, dude, I would not want to be that reporter for the simple fact that Will Smith still has that like Ali physique that he had when he did that movie. He's like, dude, if he really wanted to punch you, you were going to be knocked out with like 14... With his teeth missing, and you wouldn't have no defense. You'd be like, well, I did try to kiss the man on the lips. Right. Like, well, you deserve to get punched in the face, you dick. I don't know what I would do in that situation. I mean, look, a guy tries to kiss me, okay, that's happened before, but never in front of like thousands of cameras with the whole world watching you. Yeah. I would hope that I could keep my shit together and not try to smack him in the face, but there's no guarantee that I would be able to. But there's just no when... There's just no... It's a loose, loose situation. That's true. Kind of thing, you know? There's no victories found. Exactly. It is... I mean, you're... Not good. Right? You're gay if you don't, and you're gay if you do. Kind of a thing. And I don't know what it is, like there just seems to be a lot of like fear in kind of like the black community of being called gay. Ah. So I think that that probably helped accelerate his response. While we're on the subject of the man, Mr. Smith, he actually did something. He's the first actor to have done this. He did a virtual visit to Beijing, China to help promote Men in Black 3. Like he, like via Skype, was here in America and took questions and answered questions from the Chinese fans after the premiere of it. And it's the first time that a star of his caliber has done this because there, you know, so many studios are coming to the realization that China is such a huge market. We have to start seeking them out and we're going to need our stars to do that for us as well. James Cameron actually went to the opening of the Beijing International Film Festival to help promote the re-release of Titanic in 3D. And it had, because of that, it had the seventh largest, you know, amount of money made in a single weekend after that film festival for, in $19.3 million just for one weekend in China. And just for going over there and visiting. By having Will Smith pop up, you're looking at another $20 million just from China alone. Right. You know, I have a couple of friends, and they're kind of schooled in the Chinese government and their culture. And they say what they're afraid of mostly is that their people, the people themselves are so in love with what we do here in America. That's why they feel the need to kind of just kind of filter it and control the amount because they're just eating it up. They're just eating up our movies, our cuisine, I was going to say, our burgers. We're in love with their food and they're in love with ours. It's just like, hey, great. Yeah, I don't know how burger stands are doing over there. It would be an interesting thing to find out. Okay. There are many of us of questionable badass. You're not sure like what really happened here. Justin Bieber now is wanted by the police for supposedly beating up a photographer this weekend at a shopping center here in Los Angeles. He was taking Selena Gomez out to a date and they came out of the theater and some photographers started taking pictures of him. And apparently he hit him about, 10 times in the face and chest. Does anybody believe that this really happened? Or is this some guy who's getting paid by Bieber to say that he got beaten up? Yeah. So that he can look like a badass. Right. There's no way. The real question has to go to Selena Gomez. Were you impressed with what he did? Did he really defend your honor or were you just kind of like, why do you keep slapping him across the face and pounding on his chest? I mean, how can the police even investigate this with a straight face? I think that Betty White could kick your ass more than Justin Bieber could. Dude, you know there's going to be some surveillance camera footage of that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're walking through a mall of some kind, there's going to be a camera on them and we're going to get to see that. Some mall in Calabasas. Like, I'm sure that there's... Calabasas? What the hell is he doing on... Well, hey, I guess you're trying to keep a low profile. Let's go out to Calabasas. Calabasas. That's terrible. I mean, I just can't imagine that guy actually being tough and trying to be a badass. You know, I think it's all that age where the hormones kind of start kicking in. But I think more than him being a badass and actually beating a photographer, I think there's a... a very smart man that let himself be beaten. And he's going to see him in court for a couple thousand. You'll make a lot more money off of that than you will off of any picture. Exactly. Right. Unless you actually have the photos of him coming with you with the fist raised. Right. You're like, click, click, click. That is the picture. And you're like, hey, check this one out. This is Bieber rage. Right. If I got my ass kicked by Justin Bieber in real life and I wasn't a photographer, I would keep that secret. Yeah. I wouldn't tell anybody. That would be the most embarrassing story ever. You never want to share that. No, never. Never. I mean, what type of reputable dude would tell anybody that story? You take that to the grave. That and kissing that guy in college for that one time. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Tequila, man. I mean, it's like he has a pain in his chest. Would Justin Bieber give him a titty twister or something? I mean, what happened here? Like, Selena, hold my juice box. I have to go medieval on this guy. I mean, it's just ridiculous. Ridiculous. Wow. Justin Bieber. I mean, he is the least tough person I can possibly think of. You know who's tougher than I give her credit for? Lady Gaga. Like, Lady Gaga this week, she had this concert going off in Indonesia. Yeah. And she was being accused, like being told by all the Muslims that they were going to basically blow up the concert if she went and did it. She had to be talked out of it repeatedly. She kept trying to say, no, I'm going to do it. No, I'm going to do it. No, I'm going to do it. Until the Indonesian government stepped up. And so, she was like, I'm going to do it. And said, I'm sorry, we just can't do it. So, it wasn't her that wanted to cancel it. It was the actual Indonesian government that said, no, we can't do it. Wow. Out of fear of a Muslim terrorist attack. Yeah. I mean, she's... She does represent America in such a clear and defined way that I completely see why the Muslims want to take her out. But they don't know that. I mean, they just see it as like an export of American excess. Yeah, exactly. Disgustingness. And think that that's what everybody here is like. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. But she... She does represent us around the world. She certainly does. And there's so many people idolize her. She is. She is popular, man. She is popular. I would never have guessed that she would have been as popular as she is. I don't really know who it is that she appeals to. I've never heard one of her songs. I've been like, oh my God, this is amazing. I'm going to bump this shit. Yeah. That is never happening to me. I mean, I'm more like, I'm going to blast some Slayer. Exactly. Right. Which I'm sure would have a hard time playing Indonesia as well. There just isn't any like call for it there. And you know, what a wonderful place. You have legal prostitution and child brothels. Yeah, those are okay. But let's not let Lady Gaga come out there and sing about being born that way. And poison our minds with her music. Terrible. Terrible. Because even the Muslims know, no, you can't get rid of the kiddie brothels. Right. Not those. I love the fact that it wasn't her that canceled it. Yeah, me too. I like that. I really like that. And I really like the fact that these... These stars now, these celebrities that we have, they are basically a royalty here in the United States of America. They're actually... They're stopping, in my opinion now, they're a little more socially aware now. More conscious of what's going on. I'd say that's true. Van Halen could only wish that the government would shut down their shows. They wouldn't have to do it themselves. Apparently, one of the few shows that hasn't been canceled, surprise, surprise, is the Los Angeles show. 31 of the 50s. Is that Friday night? I believe it is. Dude, I got to... I got to figure out how to get into that. There you go. I got to figure out how to get into that. Hey, Carl Kozlowski, if you're listening right now, you owe me some tickets, motherfucker. This is your time to pay off. Yeah, that's right. You said any tickets to any concert. And I told you this one, so if they're not here, you're never coming on the show again. That's it. Sorry. We're three seconds away from a phone call. I'll get them. I'll get them. Okay. So, it's not all crazy stories and negative stories. One of my favorite stories that came out this weekend, there is a married couple, that have been together for 64 years. And for the last 35 of those years, they've worn matching outfits every day. Whatever, like, print her shirt has on it, he gets a tie that has the exact same print. Like, that is... There's something like 146 outfits that they have. And they say that they've been doing it for so long, they don't remember what really started it. But, like, when they... They owned a floral studio, they owned a floral studio for like 60 years. So, most of the ties and dresses are floral prints, but she has a matching dress to go with every tie he has. And it's a really cute little story. You think, like, number one, 64 years is an amazing amount of time to be married. He's like 81 or 82 and she's like 81. So, that means they were like 17 and 18 when they got married. And then after, you know, 30 years, you're like, why don't we start wearing the same things wherever we go? You know, everyone knows we're together. We may as well, like, look sharp. We may as well, like, look sharp when we're doing it. Have you ever worn the same outfit as your wife anywhere? No, no, I don't think we'd be together. No? Yeah, I think... You mean she doesn't have a pair of suspenders and a... Yeah, no. Yeah, I think you have to maintain that individualism about you. You know, this story reminds me of something my mom used to say about marriage and falling in love. She says, you know, love only lasts to a certain, say, the first 10 years. After 15 years, it's more of a... You get used to the person. And let me tell you, being used to somebody, it's a lot stronger bond than being in love with somebody, my mom used to say. I tend to believe that. You know, after, like you say, after like 30 years of being together, you're like, well, no one's going anywhere. Fuck it. Give me that flower tie. I'll wear it. Just stop nagging me. I imagine it was probably just like a little fluke thing. She bought a cute, like a nice print of a floral thing and made her own dress and said, hey, I made you a dress. I'm going to give you a tie. And then from there, it just kind of sprouted up. Let's do this a little more frequently. And then it's an everyday thing. So it's like, hey, that is, those little comics, love is, love is wearing the same matching outfit every day. It's amazing how often my wife and I do that. Like we have separate dressing rooms. Like I have a man cave where I keep all my clothes. She keeps all our stuff in the bedroom because that's where the big closet is. And she'll go in there, like we'll go shower, and then we'll go our separate ways for a second. And I'll come out in my clothes and she'll come out in hers. And we're wearing the exact same thing all the fucking time. Like it's not meant that way, but like we'll both come out wearing a green shirt and black shorts or something. Like what did you do? Are you spying on me? Now do you still choose to go out looking like that? Yeah. Why not, right? Yeah, that's right. Like I already put this on. I'm not changing it. Exactly. I mean if it happens organically, I'm all for it. Yeah. But I'm not going to be calling her out. The only time you guys do it as a forced thing is like for the tournament. Yeah, that's right. When you're in those nice white suits. We're both members of the Tournament of Rose. Yeah. The big parade. Oh. Right, right, right. So you have to wear these. There's no member listening. Ridiculous suits. I mean they're like white with like the red tie and the big like a plantation hat. I mean it's ridiculous. Once a year, you know, it keeps the marriage fresh. Exactly. That's one of my favorite things I do. I love it. It is fun as hell. Yeah, some of the best things that I do, they're not very ordinary. Either. Yeah, that's right. Plus if you share with your mate, even better, right? I'm all for togetherness. Yeah, we love each other. Yeah. See, well, you know what? His face just lit up. If you're listening, his face just lit up when he's talking about you. I hope she heard that and I get a blow job tonight. Anyways. Not after that statement. You just, you won it and you lost it. I set it up for you. All you had to do was kick it. That sucks. Okay, public schools in Jackson, Mississippi will no longer be allowed to handcuff students, the poles or other objects. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? You can no longer handcuff students to anything. Did you ever have any problems like that in school? No. I've never had to be handcuffed to anything. I would think that it was illegal in the first place, but we are talking about Mississippi. So to them, that's just second nature. Oh, they use it for small rule infractions too, for dress code violations. If you come to school wearing something inappropriate, you get handcuffed to a pole. Yeah. Like what? So you can be ridiculed for wearing the stupid outfit that you're wearing? I guess the real problem here is like, what if a fire breaks out while a kid's handcuffed to a pole? I mean, what do you do in that case? You hope and pray that the janitor is walking by when the fire is going on so that he can unlock you because he's got a key to everything. He still likes you, you know? He could just walk past you and laugh, ha-ha, kid, you're going to burn. See you in hell, kid. I mean, the handcuffing at schools, I guess it's pretty prevalent. I remember a couple of years ago, I read a story out of Chicago where it was actually approved by the school district as a way of keeping the kids away from each other when they just want to constantly fight. You handcuff them? Yeah. Just put them to the boiler or put them to a door handle. Dude, it's only a matter of time. What they'll do is they'll just get like a shackle system where when you sit down at your desk at school, you're going to have to put like a seatbelt on that like is electronically locked so you can't get up and like fight. If you do, you have to have the seat strapped to your ass and you're like walking like a crab trying to get over to get to the guy. It just doesn't work for fighting. What did you think? Did we evolve? Did we evolve from chaining people? Are we going back to the old ideas, theories, the old ideology? Yeah. I'm all for corporal punishment on kids now because I'm not one of them anymore. Go for it. Beat the crap out of them if they're being bad. Kick his little ass. Yeah. Smack him on the hand with a ruler. He's going to learn real quick that he don't do that anymore. You know, I tell you, I had a PE teacher of mine. I think he had a great idea. He actually got in trouble for doing it. But whenever you had a beef with your friend or somebody else, he would give you these oversized punches and boxing gloves and just let you go at it. That's pretty cool. I think that's a little more civil than handcuffing the kid to a wall or a pole. It will teach one kid a lesson. Let's just hope that the one who is... Yeah, you know what? That's going to be the biggest argument is the kid who loses in the fight with the oversized boxing gloves. Now he's going to be ridiculed for the rest of the time that he's there. Right. Because it's going to be done in front of all the other kids. The thing is, you used to get sent home from school if you were bad or something. But now getting sent home from school, it's a pleasure. Exactly. Because that's where the video games are. You have your smartphone, your video games, your cable. You've got everything you could possibly want. So I would love to get sent home. Exactly. You're not allowed to have your phones on at school. You're not supposed to be using them, stuff like that. Oh, you're sending me home? Sweet. Power on. Start texting. It's time to go home. I remember the first time I got suspended from school. It was so awesome. It was in October 15th-ish, 1988. Mm-hmm. Because the Dodgers were in the World Series and it was a daytime game. And I didn't get to watch the game, but I got suspended that morning. And I got to go home and watch the whole game. Lovely. All my friends are calling me like, what's going on in the game? I'm like, here we go. What's funny, to make the call, you actually had to use the payphone on campus. We didn't have cell phones, so they're dropping a dime to actually call and find out what the score of the game was. And you know what? At that time, you didn't have the phone in your pocket where you can check scores all the time. So I really was the lifeline to finding out what happened in the game. That was awesome. I guess, okay, if you were a parent and you had to make a choice between your kid either being handcuffed to a chair or being like spanked by the teacher, which would you go with? Spanking. You take the spanking? Give him a good size stick, nothing that's good. It can't be excessive. It's got to be the type of thing that it's a controlled kind of, like the caning that you hear about in Singapore when you do something bad. Good God, that's the worst. But not that type of stick. You don't want to do that. But, you know, just one good whack, boom, that's what you get for doing something especially if it's deserving of it. Corporal punishment should only be done because of some kind of physical altercation that occurred in my mind or some kind of an attack. I don't, I guess I'd have to really think about where I would think it was okay, but I'm not opposed to a good spank, one or two smacks on the butt to teach you a lesson. You know, sometimes, how I learned. I'm from the 70s. I believe in it. I believe in it. The tough, what I'm having, what I have a problem with is you have to get a very controlled individual, you know, the teacher, to be able to incorporate these kinds of disciplines to our kids, you know, and I just don't think that, you know, we have teachers, unfortunately, they kind of have it all together enough to be able to, you know, you know, instill this into the, or infuse it into their curriculum fairly enough. You know, when a kid pisses you off, you're just too angry. You don't discipline. You're just making them pay for it. For what he did, kind of a thing. And that's just, I think that's where the damage, you know, but I understand where you're coming from. A little discipline, nobody is above a little fucking smack in the ass just to get you reacting accordingly. Yeah. It's a quick and easy way. It doesn't, it doesn't, what it does is it startles you more and it puts that thought in your mind that, okay, what I've done had a negative reaction and I got to stop doing that. Right. I mean, otherwise, if you just, if they keep being told to stop doing that or put in the corner, you don't care. You know, a timeout to me was like, great, I don't have to talk to anybody for a couple of minutes. I don't have to listen to you. Great. I'll go sit in the corner. No problem. But, you know, to me, it's just like, that's a useless, all the kid ever does is scream at it. It's become so politically correct. You're not allowed to, you're not allowed to raise your kids anymore. No, it's up to the government to do that for us. You know, it's not like parents are any better. There's a story that came out this weekend about a Florida man who was accused of using a rope to tie up his four-year-old daughter so he could play video games in peace. Like, he was tired of the girl walking back and forth in front of the screen. So he just decided, hey, let's tie her up so that I can, you know, make this dunk happen in NBA Jams or whatever game he's playing. You know, the problem is you need a license to fish. You need a license to drive. You just don't need a license to have a kid. That would solve a lot. You know, you want to have a kid? Here's the application. Yeah. There's a parenting course that you're going to have to take for six months while you're pregnant. You get through that and everything's good. You got to go through Lamaze for the guys to be able to go in there. There should be a level of education for people. Definitely. Even if it's an unexpected pregnancy. Well, guess what? You're automatically signed up for this class. And you know what? You need to complete this class so that you, you know, you know what you're going to be doing and dealing with when the kid pops out. And you know, I don't know how you guys feel, but I don't mind my tax dollars going flat. I think it's a great thing. You know, better than my tax, my dollars going to imprison the kid. Yeah. You know, a lot of advice. I have a little, my friends too, they're trying to be actors and singers and they're a little older now, you know, and they have like families. And I tell them, you know, I respect you having a dream and following this dream. But sometimes I believe that you, you're being a little selfish because you're doing that at the expense of your family. Your kids need you to be home and being dad. They don't need you to be Mr. Movie Star. You know, can you please go home before I'm shoving $20 bills on their G-strings 20 years from now? You are, you are a generous temper, sir. Wow. If I was a stripper, I would want to dance for you for El Pinche Peter. That would be a dream come true. Terrible. You know, it used to be go to your room. Now it's like, stay out of your room. Now it's like, I'm going to make my kids sit in the hall. I mean, there's nothing good in the hall. That's like the only room in my house that doesn't have something awesome in it. Go to the laundry room. Even then, you get the laundry, you get the washer going and you're like, oh, this is kind of fun to sit in. It's like, better than doing nothing. The kid, the imagination is just overwhelming. They'll just stick you in a little corner and you'll find something to do. Remember just running around the house, see how fast you can go. Running around the yard. So many kids who don't even do that. There's no yard. There either is no yard or there's just too many distractions inside to go out and use the yard. Get out. Get out of the house. Now we got these kids allergic to grass. I mean, I'm crazy. Grass and trees and flowers. Are you kidding me? There are just so many like, new allergies that kids have. I can't imagine like, being allergic to something even as simple as like peanut butter. There's so many kids now that you can't even bring peanut butter in your sandwich to school anymore because you may make the kid next to you sick. That's right. Because if the kid grabs a hold of it and takes a bite, he gets sick. It's your fault. It's ridiculous. I mean, I have, to my knowledge, I have one food allergy and it's a very mild allergy. It's to avocados and it just makes my tongue feel a little fuzzy and tingly but I still love it. So I love eating avocado enough that I'm not, it doesn't bother me. It's not making me like physically sick. But to hear about, like, our good friend Russ Gutten who is allergic to gluten. So he's allergic to so many things. He has a very strict regimen of food that he's allowed to eat. And it's like, I could not, I could never understand how to live like that because I've never had that kind of an issue with any kind of weird food things or weird, like pollen allergies. Fine, I'm going to sneeze because there's stuff in the air. That's not a big deal to me but people who go into like shock because of pollen hitting them in the face, from a windy day. And you're just like, what the? How have you survived this long? Have you ever had any allergy issues? No, not at all. No, I'm allergic to being hungry. So I'm allergic to it. That's a bad one. There's no doubt. Yeah, not at all. Maybe, no, I got stung by a bee once but that's just a normal reaction. There's venom and unless you're actually sensitive to it, it should be. No, not at all. You know what? We couldn't afford allergies. Exactly. We couldn't afford to figure out what was wrong with us. So you just dealt with it. You got through it. I grew up on peanut butter, brother. If I was allergic to peanuts, I am screwed. Peanut butter is delicious. Yes. I feel awful for these kids that don't get to eat it. I feel like you're missing the American experience of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Agreed. When I was in high school, there were two sandwiches I asked my mother to make for me for lunch. I didn't want anything else that my brothers were getting. I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a tuna fish sandwich when she was making her tuna fish. That was it. So every day, my mom made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches until like Thursday when it was time for tuna fish. But that's all I had because, I mean, that to me was a perfect little lunch. Give me two sandwiches, some fruit, some chips, and let me go buy a soda. And I'm happy. I'll go to school and I'm fat and happy. Not the greatest of diets, but it was still, you know, it was part of my growing up and to think that a kid can't even touch the stuff without swelling up and blowing up. It's sad. It's sad because it's what you watch on television. You know, that's why I wanted peanut butter. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because I actually also wanted them because I got tired of being the only kid when I first started school here. My mom used to give me these. Are you familiar with what chorizo is? Of course, right? Oh, that's my mom's favorite breakfast thing. So she used to pack these burritos, these chorizo burritos in aluminum foil and a little paper bag that I used to take to school in fourth grade. Adorable. Yeah, and it would be great because nobody would know what it was in there for the first hour. But then after hour three, I was like, the chorizo juice would start leaking. And you pick up the bag. Exactly. So I was like, Mom, no more chorizo burritos. Please let me have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And we compromised. She wrapped that up in a tortilla. She did. In a flour tortilla, man. If you get the tortilla hot, that's delicious. I love a hot tortilla. I was the only kid sticking their stuff in the microwave. For a peanut butter and jelly burrito. Oh, bro. Terrible. That actually sounds delicious. I think I may have one of those when I get home today. Hot jelly just sounds awful. So when I smoked weed for the first time, guess what I had? I reverted back to when I was seven. So speaking of fat, dumb, and happy, you have Barney Frank this week. He was speaking at the Dartmouth commencement on Sunday. And he said, one of the dumbest things that you could possibly say, he said that now that you have graduated from Dartmouth, you're going to be a graduate of Dartmouth. And he said, I'm going to be a graduate of Dartmouth. I'm going to be a graduate of Dartmouth. I'm going to be a graduate of Dartmouth. You now have a hoodie you can wear that no one will shoot you in. Referring to the Trayvon Martin case. I mean, that is just so insensitive and so awful. I don't know why this guy even still has a job anymore. Because they have to vote him out and everybody loves him, even if he says something stupid. Apparently, he's not running again. So we're coming up onto until, I guess, the beginning of next year he'll still be in office. But after that, he is going to be gone. What are your takes on the whole Trayvon Martin case? Oh, you know, it's, well, kind of a downer. Kind of a downer and a half. We have three discussions here too. Well, you know, without, without picking sides, I guess, it's just, it's kind of a sad story to read in the first place. To see, I guess I'll just take more of a sociological point. It's a sad story to see that we still are afraid of other cultures, of other people, of other languages. This monolinguistic existence that we have here in America, I'm not down with it because it provides us with a lot of fear. And I think more than maliciousness, I used to believe that people were malicious. You know, now that I'm getting older and now I believe that the more, the more ignorant and malicious I tend to believe. You know, and this, this atrocity that happened in Miami, like a lot of atrocities that happen all over the states and here in a lovely country in America, it's, it's, they're just sad, but they're just symptoms of fear. Symptoms of ignorance more than maliciousness as, I don't believe we're going to hell in a handbasket. Well, not yet. We still have a, a way out of this. But, yeah, things like this kind of bum me out because it just kind of shows me that we're not going forward as, as, as much as I'd like, you know, which shows that we have one, kind of like a one, you take one step forward, two steps back, kind of a learning process that we have accepted, you know, in our society. Sad, but these things happen, you know. They do for sure. It's almost like, unless a crime happens with two people of the exact same race in it, there's going to be racist undertones to it. It seems like the only way that you can not hear racism, racism, racism, is if it's the exact same type of people who are involved in it. There has to be some evolution past that mindset. Like, this is a bad dude and this is an idiot. Exactly. And, and shit came together in a bad way. It has nothing to do with this guy being black and this guy being Hispanic. It just, it has to do with, with he's dumb, he's a dick, and it came together. Exactly. And yeah, we got to, you know, we have to pass, we have to get past this color thing. But, I mean, it's our calling card, unfortunately, the way that we see it, right? It is our calling card. We judge people. I love, what's it, Aerosmith line, you know, I, you can tell, I cannot tell a wise man by the color of his skin. Yeah, that's right. Well, I'm a little bit more ignorant, dude. I can't tell you whether a good person or not just by the color of your skin. And I got to deal with you. I got to individually deal with you and treat you, you know, but in order for me to be able to do that, then I have to take it upon myself to be a little more educated and actually learn another language, learn different ways of seeing the world. So I can actually appreciate, you know, this word that we, that we throw around in our society, this tolerance. I'm against tolerance. I'm a ball for, let's, why, let's, let's not tolerate other people. Let's just celebrate other people. Yeah. Tolerance is actually a little bit offensive. I think so. Tolerance is like, I don't, I don't like you, but I'm just going to kind of look past it. Right. The law says I must tolerate you, so I'll tolerate you. Yeah. It is an offensive idea to me that, that that is what people suggest you do. Oh, just tolerate it. Just tolerate it. No, I'd rather like try to learn and understand it and try to figure what I can do to, to be a part of it and to have it not be something that scares me and my, and my neighbors and my family. I mean, we've been killing each other throughout, throughout history. When are we going to, learn that that is not the way? How many more lives are we going to take to realize, you know what, killing each other is not going to be who it is at all. As a world, as a humanity, as a society, at all. You know, I was, I've been pondering this, especially considering this Memorial Day. It was this great cartoon I saw not too long ago. And, make your own conclusions. I'll just share the information. So, it was the Nazis marching down the streets. You know, the Hitler, the whole, incident, of course. And there was these innocent German people standing on the side. And they were talking to each other too. And then, one's turning to the other one and says, you know man, I think Hitler's out of his fucking mind. But you gotta support the troops. Oh, shit. Wow. Yeah. It kind of made me see this, this whole thank you for picking up arms and killing other people on our behalf so I can keep my rights and go to Starbucks and buy my cappuccino. It just kind of, gave it a new whole twist on the, wow, you know, maybe we're not holding people accountable for what we do and for what they do for us. And you know what? I'll go without my cappuccino. Can you stop killing poor people in third world countries? If it's for my needs, don't do it for my needs. I'm not asking anybody to pick up a gun. I believe in picking up a guitar, picking up a microphone, and let's teach people that. Let's show our beauty. It's so easy to show them our ugly side and just, it's the easiest way to express yourself. Through hate. Let's be imaginative. Let's use our imagination. Let's exercise it in, you know, let's not be so cliche in love, but you know what I'm saying. Let's appreciate. Let's start the party. Stop killing each other. Get the women out here. Get the wine. Get the music. Get the literature. Everything that we're known for. We're known for constructing and destroying. I just want to promote everything that we've constructed. Destroying is overrated. Done that. Been there. Kind of a thing. So much easier than the building up and the construction. The construction part. Yeah. So easy to tear down what's already there when you should just be adding to it and adding more. Exactly. That's why the pyramid is built, I believe, right? Out of all, until you get to the top. I thought the pyramid was about fruits and grains. No, wait, that's the food pyramid. Hey, we got our last break of the show. This is Sam Tripoli and we'll be back on the other side of this with more of our entertainment and more of LPNJ Peter. So stick around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've done gigs for three people before. It's like, now I know how strippers feel at 4 and after noon, you know what I'm saying? Jump out of your smiley face, shake your money maker, baby needs formula, you know what I'm saying? And don't judge the strippers, man, that shit pissed me off. I was gonna go strip out my body the other day. He's like, I don't want to go there, the strippers are dirty. You say like, it's a bad thing. It's like, I like my strippers clean. I'm like, well, I like my dragons to fly, but unfortunately, they're both make-believe. What the fuck are you talking about? Clean strippers, huh? What's their stage name? Huh? Easter Bunny. You never hear women getting hookers. You never hear that because they don't have to. Women don't have to get hookers. They tried to open a brothel in Nevada for women. And every guy's like, oh, I'd love to work there. That'd be awesome. That'd be great. Really? You think it's gonna be a good time? You think it's gonna be a lot of hot chicks going in there? You think it's gonna be a parade of freaks walking through that door just like, oh! Love me! Oh, God! Don't get me wrong, there's some ugly hookers out there, huh? Anyone been to Vegas at four in the morning? Dude, it's like 28 days later out there, right? Bunch of me-bunks running around, huh? That's what Nancy wants. Like, you wanna go up to your room? I'm like, why the hide? What are we doing up there? A lot of issues. A lot of stuff to worry about, you know? Like global warming, the economy, you know, terrorism. But personally, I don't give a shit because I'm broke, okay? When you're broke, nothing phases you, right? They're gonna raise interest rates. Oh, what's the interest rate on zero? Zero? We're good to go. You know me? I know you. I know I'm saying that I'm broke every vagina here just closed like a bear trap. I understand that. I just went and saw Batman. Yeah, that's pretty sweet. I went and saw it at Universal Studios or is that what they call it? Mexican Disneyland? What? You ever been there? It's fucking great, dude. I literally saw Batman with 500 Mexicans, which is awesome. I fucking love it, dude. Because I don't know if you noticed, but Mexicans always bring their kids to movies. Doesn't matter what the movie is, it could be like Freddy Krueger's versus Saw. And they'll be like ninos and ninas running all over the place, which I fucking love, right? I love it because it saves me a trip to the concession stand because those kids sell candy right in the aisle. You know what I'm saying? It's like, they'll pick a guy and go to some M&M's and they're Jesus Christ action figure. You know what I'm saying? Rock that shit, Pablo. Rock that shit. My favorite movies are Angelina Jolie movies. I love it. Because every movie she's in, she's whooping ass. Every movie. Chicks are fearless in movies. Fearless, right? Everyone knows that? Every movie. They're fighting werewolves, cyborgs, killer being killed. They're fearless. Where are these women? I want to date them. Because all the women I date, they're all like, I'm cold. I'm cold. Gee. Do you miss me? Do you miss me? I miss you fighting ninjas. That's what I miss. Don't get me wrong. Girls like to fight. They like to get shit-faced. You are drunk. You are great. Babe, you like to... You've put a couple guys in the hospital, haven't you? You're violent. Oh, dude, anyone ever gotten their ass kicked by their girlfriend? Anybody? I have, dude. It's a lonely place, man. There's no support groups. There's no shelters. Try calling the cops if you get your ass kicked by their girlfriend. Be like, oh, you know, I like to point my girlfriend. She beat me up to be like, pussy! Pussy! Most men fear their woman. A smart man fears his woman. It's the truth. Take any guy you know when he's hanging out with his buddies all night and forgets to check in. See, look at his face when his phone rings and realizes it's his girlfriend. Fucking sweat. Like he's on trial for murder, dude. Fear. A real man would rather fight ten dudes at a bar than go home to a pissed-off chick. It's the truth, man, because when you fight ten dudes at a bar, it eventually ends, right? It's over. High five. Good fight. Let's all move on with our life. But your woman, it's never over. They're just ceasefires with some awkward silence where you know she's just waiting in the grassy knoll, just waiting for your little happy parade to come by so she can peg off the party. You know what I'm saying? They break you down, they break you down before you know it, you're wearing Hawaiian shirts and fanny packs and Tivo and Martha Stewart, right? If you're smart, dude, you'll spoil your girl. That's how the smart guys are. Happy wife, happy life, man. 23 hours and 50 minutes should be dedicated to your lady, whatever she wants, bro. Whatever she wants, do it. Dinner, movie, paint the house, take out the trash, whatever, guys. Now, ladies, this is the truth. Listen to me. Fuck Dr. Phil. Listen to me. All guys are asking for is ten minutes in the bedroom to do the filthiest, nastiest shit that we can come up with without hearing rock, hold. We don't like that. We don't care, okay? Pop the bike it in to numb it up. Let's fucking rock and roll, all right? You're yapping. It's okay when I can fucking thrust and play Plinko and punch it. You know what I'm saying? You are listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. We're listening to Skid Row Studios. I'm not doing it with you. Please do it with me. Fuck that. Will you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios? At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. Okay. You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Brant Thoman. The Kings of Internet Radio. All right, party people. We're hitting the homestretch here on Grand Theft Audio. This is Jake Belcher. And I'm Brant Thoman. And we're along with our guest. Inchi Peter. Thank you. We've enjoyed having you here, man. Thank you so much, man. It's been my pleasure. So one thing we like to kind of get like the insight on our guests into like what type of person they really are. We like to find out like what type of guilty entertainment pleasures they have. Are you like one of the followers of the Housewives? Or does your wife make you a follower of the Housewives? No, but I do have my own show that I'm addicted to. And I don't even know why. And I can't stop watching it. And it's this Storage Hunters. Oh, like Storage Hunters? Storage Wars? Yes, the Storage Wars. Oh, man. They're amazing. I get into it. Have you wanted to go out to like one of the auctions yourself? I have. I have. Especially now when they have that new commercial. Have you seen them? They have this new commercial now. They're really emphasizing the show. They're really promoting it. And they have one of the guys jumping off from a plane. The other one coming in. The couple that are always fighting coming in. Jared and Randy. Exactly. What's amazing is they all have these new vehicles. They're all showing up in these bright, shiny, new cars and stuff. It's like, this is obviously working very well for them. I watched the whole cast this week on, or last week on Anderson. The Anderson Cooper show that's on. So like each day he had a different person? No, he brought on all five of them together on one episode. Cool. Wow. And they did like this fake ass, win Anderson's storage locker. And they all bid on it. And what was coming out of there was just ridiculous stuff. I mean, I think the top person paid $700. $750 for the locker. And there was like $200,000 worth of things in there. Who leaves this stuff behind? I know. Just go get one of them out. Sell it. Pay the bill. Pay for the bill. It's crazy. I mean, it must be people who die or people who are drug addicts and they forgot where they left their stuff. That and Pawn Stars, man. I'm addicted to those two shows. That I cannot believe what people bring in. The things that still exist. Yeah. I mean, they're centuries old and you can't believe that someone actually kept it in good condition this whole time. Yeah. And I get so into the show, man. I was like, when they're haggling the price, I'm just, lower, lower, don't sell. And what's amazing is they just keep expanding because now there's like, you've got multiple pawn shop ones. Hardcore pawn. Yeah, hardcore pawn. Pawn Stars. And I think there's a third one that's out there. The one I was telling Jake about that I've only caught one episode of so far is Baggage Wars. It's for people who leave their bags on the planes or at airports, which again, baffles the hell out of me. It's like, you forgot your bag? Hey, Brent. Carl Kozlowski. What? Leaves behind his bag fucking everywhere. Really? It's the same idea. I mean, it's just idiots who like leave things behind. Yeah. They just leave it behind. And then after a certain amount of time, they go up for auction. So you can go back, you go back to the airport and you can sit there and bid on bags without knowing what's inside. To me, that's not as exciting. I mean, that's like underwear and deodorant. At the same time, if you see yourself like a really nice leather bag, you know, you see a Dolce & Gabbana bag. There could be some really nice leather underwear. Yeah. There could be some really nice bondage gear in there for that. Or, you know, like one of the ones they opened up, the guy finds like, you know, some jewelry that's actually worth several thousand dollars because the woman forgot that she had it in there. And some of the designer clothes and the other things that were in there become valuable. I mean, you pay $600 for a nice bag. You open it up and you make $6,000 off of it for everything that's inside of it. You've had a good day. I'm fairly certain that doesn't happen as often. It doesn't happen as it does with the storage wars, though. In storage, they find money. Yeah, that's hot. Cash, which I'm thinking, who in the hell would forget cash? Did you forget the cash was in there? It's just dumb as hell. Like the guy, they didn't show, but one of the bidders at one of these storage war episodes, he wasn't one of the stars, so they didn't focus on him. But he bought this one storage unit, got inside, and found over a half a million dollars in gold and silver that was inside of it. Like, what idiot forgot that there was a half a million dollars? You couldn't pay for, you couldn't go up to them with like a silver bar or something and go, look, I don't have any cash, but if I give you this, can I keep my storage locker? I like a company like U-Haul or like public storage. I don't think you could. I don't think their systems are set up that way. I mean, like some of these mom and pop places, probably, but I don't think you can go into the offices of public storage with a gold bar and be like, hey, let's pay for my bill this way. I just don't think there's like an input for gold. I don't know. The guy looks at it and goes, sure, dude. How much you want for that? You know? Your bill's $139. There you go. I'll give you $139 for that bar and you can keep that locker. I just have this fascination for crap, man. I do. Just like the show Pickers. American Pickers. American Pickers is kind of fun, too. You know what? That's kind of sad, though. Every time I watch that show, I get a little, I can't help but be saddened by this show should be called It Sucks Getting Old. Oh, yeah. Right? Because there's always some old guy that doesn't really want to get rid of his stuff, but wants the money, kind of needs it now that he's older. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. with this, please. And it's usually an entire garage filled with stuff, too. Yes. And they'll go find some amazing artifacts from American history. And you know, every single object means something dear to the man, you know? He went out of his way. I picked this when I was 16, and this has been all, but there was nothing around here from there from there. There was nothing. And I love this show, but I need a drink after I watch this show. I see my own mortality. The one that really gets me is animal hoarders. Have you guys seen that? No, I haven't. Somebody's got like 50 cats and like 100 guinea pigs, and you're just like, it's been overrun by animals, and it's just feces and piss everywhere. The house, you can't even walk up to the house without getting hit by the stench of the cats. And these people live in this condition. And don't even smell it anymore. That whole ammonia thing is just broken down their nose, and they can't even smell it anymore. I've read about people like that, that they actually died and died. And they're not found until days later, and they're actually, the animals decided to make a meal. Make a meal on them. Sometimes in front of my cat, I try to pretend I'm dead and see if she'll eat me, but she hasn't done it yet. She hasn't fallen for it. You haven't started to turn enough so that the meat's ripe enough for her to go after you. You're going to have to be dead a little bit and then let the meat become meat to her. It's right now, you're still... I think they attack the eyeballs first. I read that when an animal eats you, they go for your eyeballs. A tremendous amount of protein in those gooey... I'm a meat eater. That's why I love my wife, too. That's how I know I was in love. Both meat eaters. We saw that, remember that movie about that, you were running over to the team that went into the Andes and they had to eat each other alive from that movie? We were watching the movie and I turned to my girl and I says, honey, if we were in a plane accident and we crashed, would you actually eat somebody else? And she'd say, honey, not only would I eat somebody else, I'd start with the babies because they're more tender meat. Wow, your wife has a dark sense of humor. That's awesome. Do you guys have kids? No. Okay, that's good. You don't want to trust that at home. Yeah, no. We're from the, you know, you make babies so you make art. Big fan of that book, Jonathan Swift. Hmm, yes. I'm not familiar, what is that? That's the, it was a, it was meant as a joke but so many people took it as serious. It was a, the author, I don't remember the name of it, was basically, was basically saying for the Irish in order to keep you healthy you should just start eating your babies because all you're doing is producing so many children that you don't have enough food to provide for them so have some baby back ribs, literally. That sounds just terrible. We should tell that to the Mexicans. Yes, it sounds just terrible. I'm Mexican, come on. Does your wife ever get to choose what you guys watch? No, no. Is it because she's not as interested in stuff or she just doesn't care? Yeah, I have this thing for the remote, man. It's like handing over the remote is like handing over my balls. No, no, I'm keeping it. I have to say that one thing that has really helped my relationship a lot, I used to be a relentless flipper. I mean, I just flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. The DVR at home now, like choosing a show that we want to watch and just letting that play as opposed to just flipping it around all the time, I'm sure that that is, it helps my wife's being able to put up with my TV addiction a lot. Right. Well, see, my wife doesn't have to, well, at least she tells me she doesn't care what we watch. She doesn't have favorite shows. She's, I mean, well, I'm sure she does and I'm sure she teevils them and watches them after I'm gone. But at least when I'm in the house, you know, I... So she doesn't subject you to like the vampire diaries? No, not at all. Not at all. Plus, you know, besides those three shows that I mentioned, I'm not really much of a television connoisseur at all. Are you, what's the last movie you paid for and went out and saw? Wow, that'll, wow, that is a long time ago. And I'll tell you, the last movie I saw was Billy Elliot. Oh, wow. That was a long time ago. Now, she had to have chosen that, right? Yeah, she chose that. Yeah, that's why you haven't gone back to the movies since. That's fact. And you know what? Before that, though, it was Platoon. Dang. Wow. So most of your movie viewing is done via VHS or DVD or cable? I just, you know, I just can't tolerate going to the movie theaters. I just cannot. I don't know what it is. I get claustrophobic. In 50 years, there'll be a dinosaur as well. I mean, they'll be extinct. You'll have some arthouse theaters where you'll still be able to go and enjoy that, but everything's going to be streaming on our TVs. Our TVs are practically cinema-sized screens as it is. So, you know, 55-inch TV, you're like, well, do I really need to go out and see a 55-foot screen? This one's here and I'm at home and I can get up and pause it and take a pee and not miss anything. Go start some more popcorn and come back. Plus, you know, I don't want to deal with traffic and other people. I just, I'm not one for, you know what? I hate being treated like cattle and I feel like everywhere we go, we get treated like cattle. You either wait in line or you're being ushered to this room or waiting in line for this room and just give me a beer, let me roll a joint. It's crazy that we're willing to pay for it. Yes. Like with Disneyland. Yes. We're willing to pay to be able to stand in line for two hours to go on a ride. You know, and I just read the prices will be going up in Disneyland again. The day price has gone up $7 a day. So it used to be $80. Now it's $87. $87? The annual pass, which is what I have because I love Disneyland. The level I have is a $500 ticket. Next year, it's going to be $600, no, $749. So it's going up like 30 something percent. Just awful. Wow. This will probably be the last year that I have passes at those rates. I was going to say, do you have kids? No. Here's what I like about Disneyland. I hate going places where there's like wannabe gangster people who want to act tough and be tough and those people exist all over Southern California unless you're inside Disneyland. Disneyland is just a magical place. There's no bullshit happening there. There's no, you stepped on my shoes, homie. I mean, that does not exist. The most hardcore thug who goes into Disneyland is disarmed by the magic of that place because they're probably going in there with friends and family. And you know that you've just paid $87 to get in and you're surrounded by the rest of the human cattle who have also done the same thing. So if they do step on your shoes, you're not feeling like you're being disrespected because you all just got raped for that $87. You're like, I'm not getting kicked out of here. I'm going to go enjoy these rides with my family and I'll be pissed off later. But not now. Not inside the happiest place on earth. No, I'll tell you something. Since you guys are such fans of Disney, I'll tell you a little story you might enjoy. The last time I was in Disneyland, I was about 21 years old. Drinking, obviously, before went with a bunch of friends. We got to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. And all of a sudden because we were drunk, it seemed like it was a good idea if you were able to reach and touch the rocks, it seemed like a good idea to see if you can stop the boat from going forward. What a wonderful plan. So we got six guys doing this and you know what? The boat stops. The next thing you know, the second boat comes and he crashes and we hold. And the third boat, and then we just make a line. Like five boats and we were holding. All of a sudden, out of the rocks, this door is open. And the other these guys in three-piece suit blacked the radios on ear point our way, come on. And they grabbed all six of us. And they walked us from the Pirates of the Caribbean all the way to the exit of Disneyland through a part of Disneyland that I've never seen in my life. The part of Disneyland that doesn't exist, you know, where the rides are all broken. There's Daffy Duck. There's Donald Duck all broken up. Mickey Mouse's ears missing. Minnie Mouse is there. This is just to show you guys. This is what happens when you guys have been bad. They walked us back to the bus or to the, we had come in the bus and they says, you guys, because half of your party is still in there, you guys are welcome to wait in the parking lot inside your car. Wow. If you step onto our private property, you will be immediately arrested. Wow. We're being cool. Please don't test us. And they disappeared. They vanished back into the most happiest place. The mist, they just like walked back into it. You're like, that was so surreal. Should we try and take a step out? No, those guys were scary. They have changed their policy in some way there because when I got banned from Disneyland for a year and I wasn't allowed to go there anymore, I was in the parking lot and we're in our car. We pull in just like everybody else and we let all the kids walk by. Everyone leave and go. And Disneyland is wonderful. It's a wonderful place, especially if you've smoked a joint beforehand. Of course. So we're sitting in the car and we decided we're going to spark one up and we're sitting there and me and my friend and out of nowhere, here comes all like this Disney security and we got busted for smoking weed in our own car with nobody else around us and we got banned for a year. Wow. They're like, do you guys come here very often? Yeah, I love Disneyland. Do you have a season pass? No. Well, we looked on our computer for your season pass. We looked on your computer. We looked on your license and we see that you guys have a season pass. So hand over your season passes. So we, you know, we had just bought them too, like less than a month beforehand. Oh, that's not cool. That was not cool. Not even a warning. Yeah, no warning at all. Well, that's kind of like your warning with Facebook last week. You got kicked off of Facebook for making, to be able to put comments for two weeks because for two days, right? Yeah, two days. You got banned from Facebook. I wasn't allowed to comment on anyone's stuff for two days because apparently I'd put up too many comments on other people's things. Now, here's the thing. I thought that's what they wanted us to do in the first place was put up comments. But secondly, how about a warning first? Not this is your warning and you're off for two days. It's like, okay, if it happens again, we will take you off for two days so that you're like, okay, I've been warned. I'll stop doing this. Exactly. But not even that. So apparently Disney and Facebook, they don't believe in verbal warnings. It's, that's it. One strike and you're out. For commenting, that is unreal. I know that you can get, in trouble for trying to befriend people on welcome friend requests. They know you don't know. Exactly. They can definitely go after you for that. I can't believe we're running out of time here today, man. No, man. Where can people learn more about you? And like, where are you playing in LA and stuff? Oh, actually, we'll be, what's today? Tuesday. Hey, tomorrow, I will be in Huntington Beach if you're in the area. I'll be at Rickle Fishers' spot. Hotspot for comedy. It's going to be, you guys know the Huntington area? It's the Old World Village. Oh, okay, yeah. It's like a German town. Yeah. German beer, German cuisine. We'll be there at 7.30. The headliner's going to be the daughter of Don Knotts, Karen Knotts. Really? Wow. Yeah, so it should be an exciting show. I'm also going to be at the Comedy Store with Josh Filippowitzki on the 15th for High Larius. Dig it. Yeah, man. And I'm very excited to be able to open up a room every Tuesday at Rudy's Baja Grill on East Pomona, East LA. It's going to be open mic, so please feel free to stop on by, work out your material, you know, drink a couple of beers, and we'll talk comedy. That sounds great. It's been a pleasure having you. Is it like a website or like Twitter or anything? Not a website, but you can please Facebook me, El Pinche Peter, or you can email me at pinchepeter.com or pinchepeterhotmail. Cool, man. We really appreciate you coming in here and spending your time with us today. It's been my pleasure, guys. It's been my pleasure. See you tomorrow's show. We have Michael Gelbart. Mm-hmm. He'll be joining us. We also have from Everybody Loves Raymond and from Remington Steel, Miss Doris Roberts. Thursday, we have Clownvist. That's going to be fun. Clownvist Presley, the King of Clowns. The King of Clowns. Jesus Christ, eating on a chicken wing. We're going to have the Kings of Internet Radio and the King of Clowns. That's too many kings in one room. Too many kings. And then Friday, we're going to end this whole shebangabang with Mr. David... Kettner. Kettner. I can't even believe I just blew his last name. David Kettner from the Anchorman and he's the star of opening that day Piranha 3DD. Double D. So, pretty awesome. More breasts in it than any other movie in history. Not too bad. More breasts in 3D. Come right at your face. Right at your face. If they're coming at my face, I'm coming at them. That's just what happens. So, hey, this is Jake Belcher. And I'm Brant Thoman. Hey, go out to facebook.com forward slash Grand Theft Audio. Go subscribe to us on iTunes and we will catch you guys later. Bye. Bye. Go on. I dig it, man. Thanks. And we enjoyed having you in. And curse him in his son's name. Jesus Christ. That's right. Can there be no relief from life's daily struggles for someone like me? It seems doubtful. All I need is one reason not to slice my wrists and donate my body to necrophiliacs. Ah, the old commit suicide and donate your body to the sex perverts dilemma. We have all been there. Have we? Sure we have. I have hope for you, stranger. Let me tell you my tale. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Not too long ago I was a mess. No direction in life. Casually working my way across Vegas eating dirty diapers found in one trash can or another, shooting Drano into my ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling ceiling I had to go to Los Angeles and find something really, really tall to jump off of and end my life. Splat. Was it the voice of God? Probably. Anyways, I had to give 18 BJs to hitchhike from Vegas to LA. No friends, no family, no loved ones, just... ...by killing myself by jumping off a bridge. Suicide, just like me. Except for the thumbtacks part. Yes, except for the thumbtacks. As I stood on the bridge looking down at the 300-foot plunge that would bring death sweet relief, I heard other words flood my brain. Was it the voice of God?