First 2013 episode with Skippy Simon, chaotic caller, and music projects

Chatti Chatti People I said you Chatti too much Watchi Watchi People I said you Watchi too much Everyday you get up All you do is walk Everyday you get down All you do is Chatti Chatti Chatti People Disney Chatti Chatti People Disney Stop your chatting now Oh it's the hotbox Are we ready for this 2013? Y'all ready for this? Ba na na bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom It's the first fucking hotbox of 2013 Hi guys You're here at Skid Row Studios and if you're listening you can give us a call 800-893-9562 Yes and since Cassie isn't here sadly I will go ahead and do her usual handle which is www.skidrowstudios.com but chances are if you're listening you're already on that website but you should be there because me and Mindy are here We got some special guests We got some things cracking It's 2013 How are you feeling? It is I'm feeling great Today's been a good day I'm feeling good about 2013 Last night we had a party in the studio Dude we got buck We got buck wild and I don't like to use that expression but we got buck wild in here last night I went and saw the Melvins I dipped out for a little while Went to the Melvins with my sister and my friend Gina and then I came back to the studio and we were still partying it up like bitches I was all like fucking Melvins I was pissed at them for taking you guys away Yeah Mindy was pissed for a while and having such expensive tickets $60 Yeah if you want to know I mean Melvins I love you I will love you forever I will love you until the day that I'm you know not supposed to be on this earth anymore but $60 tickets Are you guys fucking kidding me? $60 downtown $60 downtown at a tiny place I felt like I was in like the wreck I mean it was beautiful don't get me wrong Yeah but it's like a But it was like being in like it was like going to like a youth group jamboree Aww Like it was so small that it was like Pretty strange place to have a Melvins I straight up paid $60 to be like pretty much like like tits to nuts with buzzo and yet I spent $60 for that but I did it I mean I'm a consumer You were tits to nuts? I am nothing if not a consumer Yeah I got real close Oh and I saw David Yao He was there Oh cool yeah David Yao He sang with Quee Me and Mindy and my sister and our fellow clams went on Friday night to the Echo We saw some Quee and they were actually our guests from last two weeks ago Yeah last week was Christmas Yeah so the week before that and so David Yao sang with them He sings for Jesus Lizard, Scratch Acid and he actually was leaving the Melvins concert and I was outside smoking and I was drunk enough to go up and accost him and pretty much just bought him a drink for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like we had off through the 26th. I had to work the 27th and the 28th. Then I had Saturday and Sunday off. I had to work Monday. Then I had the day off. So tomorrow starts back to the real world. Yeah, tomorrow's my day back to the real world too, actually. Made a lot of music. Last night I was doing some beat rapping. Dude, Mindy and I are about to unleash just some horrible things on you guys. She's making beats. We're both making rhymes. Everything that we're doing sounds wonderful and kind of also terrifying equally. Get ready for that. What are we calling this little sidey we are going on? I don't know. We don't even have a name yet. We'll think of something. We'll get back to you guys. But it is happening. It's me laying down some filthy tracks. She's putting down the beats. They're stupid fresh. Beats and some a little bit of lyrics. Some lyrics. I mean, yeah, like I'm trying to rhyme but I'm also trying to like, you know, have a good time. But basically we just want to share it with you guys. So get ready. I'm saying in a month. Less than a month. I think we'll have some shit laid down. We'll put it on wax. Album style. So I miss Cassie again. Do you miss Cassie again? Cassie, where are you? I wonder if she's even listening. Cassie, if you're trying to break up with the hotbox, you're going about it in the wrong way. She might still be up there in the world of Seattle. Oh, yeah, that's right. She does live in Seattle and she was there. Oh, I just found out. Never mind. I'm reading texts and forgetting that I'm on the air. It's all right. Let's share these texts with the world. This is actually a good text. This is pretty favorable. Someone, I won't mention names, but I'm going to mention one name, but I just got told that Kyle thinks I'm hot. So, Kyle, I'm glad you think I'm hot because I don't know if you are, but maybe you are. Kyle, who are you? You know what, Kyle? Give me a call. 1-800-893-9562. You don't have to show your face, but you might have to speak on the phone into this microphone because if you think I'm hot, I mean, hey, let's get this party started. Also, we do have a guest tonight. His name is Skippy. Skippy Simon. He's a stand-up comedian and he's currently outside. Oh, so why don't we play a little bit of music so we can gather our thoughts. Yeah, because Kyle thinks I'm hot. Skippy Simon's in the house. You guys enjoy this. We're going to be back with Skippy Simon in some craziness. And we loves you. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I'm ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo crazy. But if you're in another part of the world, everybody kind of makes the same wage. People are just sometimes crazy. Like that's what you're saying. Like in, in Sioux city, that's kind of how it is. Well, everyone's pretty much poor. Um, well, as I was once told by a very famous comic, the, uh, the space in between Los Angeles and New York city, that's called farmers. That's all farmers. That's what that is. It's farmland. And that's pretty much what it is. It's middle America. Yeah. And you know, and that's, and it's creepy. The government really has their hand in farming. Like they need that corn grown. Cause they need corn. I've read so many, I've read so many articles by planes. That's where all the droids are. Oh, the spy planes. That's something I learned. They're like watching the field. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. I drove, dude, this is dude. True story. In June, I went to see Primus in Santa Cruz with my ex-boyfriend. And, we were driving back from Santa Cruz and you know, you take like highway one and then you kind of get onto the one-on-one eventually, but like, it's all, it's all crops. Like all like between Santa Cruz and, and like Monterey and a little bit past Monterey, like Salinas even, it's all crops. Like it's like chocolate brown fields of like lettuce or artichokes or whatever the fuck, but it's all like, did you go through a garlic country where it's landing? Uh, garlic country, I think is Gilroy, which is a little bit, yeah. I think it's a little bit South. Gilroy's like out of the way. Okay, my bad. So this is like a, like if you're heading South, like you're just, you're going through like Seaside, Moss Landing, Monterey, Carmel, and then you get out of all of that and then you finally get on like the one-on-one, finally. But you're on, you're like around crops a lot and like, it freaked me out because it's just, I like, I realized I was like, you know what? Like these, this sounds so stupid, but this is the hot box and we're allowed to say this kind of shit, but these crops are not picking themselves. And I don't know exactly how, like, like, like how, how they're being, like how, how these crops are being picked. It's machinery. So I Googled it. It's not machinery. Oh no, no, no. Sharecropping, it's horrible. Yeah, sharecropping, I was just going to say that. I just read a book. It's fucking actually really depressing. And I like looked it up and like opened a can of racist worms for myself. Oh yeah. It's like, oh, just read about this all day. Great. Great, great way. It's invention servitude, it's Mexican slavery. It's just, it's, uh, I just read a book called uh, Reefer Madness by Eric Schlosser. It's the same guy who did, um, what was that book? Yeah. It's a book, uh, fast food, fast food nation. And what I like is he does really informative pieces. And the thing he was talking about was how, um, you know, how like, you know, marijuana was like the first part of the book. And then the second thing was like the strawberry, like the strawberry trade and how it's basically you're eating slavery technically, you know, cause it's just like these people, I mean, they're trying to make money. They're trying to like, you know, just support their families in Mexico and this and that. And they are just indentured servants. Yes. That's it. They are just slaves to this. I mean, it's insane to find out where your fruit comes from. And, but also, yeah, it's kinda, it's, it's pretty scary. And, but also in this book that I found a new hero of mine, his name is, uh, oh God, I'm really high. I can't think of it right now. Fuck. Zach Morris. No, no, no, no, no. It's this guy. And what's funny is like- Whack Morris. Whack Morris. Oh, I wish Whack Morris would call us again. It was Ruben Sturman, I think. But like, uh, Ruben Sturman. He's this guy who's like, he's like, I'm gonna call you. I'm gonna call you. I'm gonna call you. I'm gonna call you. I'm gonna call you. He's this guy out of Cleveland, Ohio who started the biggest porn empire in the world. And nobody knows who the fuck he is. And he went by like 10 billion different aliases and evaded taxes for like decades. He was just an amazing human being. And like, I actually found out he fired me when I worked for him at one of his porno bookstores a long time ago, which I think is just absolutely hysterical. Cause I remember- Like the head of the company? Yeah. The head of the company fired me because I had a name tag. It said, Skippy the porn king. I got fired on my day off on a Friday. Oh, okay. Yeah. I did it right. That's exactly how you get fired actually. Yeah. No, you should. Yeah. It was a good time. Oh man. The way that I got fired from, the way that I got fired from dementia was epic. Yeah. That was the worst. You're gonna go out bad. Yeah. Like if you're, I worked at, I mean, Mindy and I, for those of you who have been playing along or listening at least, Mindy and I met each other cause we worked together. I worked at the same head shop that she got a job at. I actually got- You were awesome coworkers. We were awesome coworkers. You would have loved to have bought a bong from us. Yeah. You wanted to come into the North Hollywood Dementia and have us- Awesome music all the time. ... help you out. Playing dope shit. Fucking ripping it up, being cool, being nice. Arts and crafts parties. Yeah. Making lighters, being nice. Actually, number one, being nice. Not a lot of girls in LA that sell bongs are really nice. So we were actually nice. And not a lot of girls who sell bongs know stuff like what a glass on glass, 16 inches. And not a lot of girls are as pretty as you. Yeah. Not as pretty as these two girls. I don't know. Yeah. These girls know how to glass on glass. Humble brag. It's a humble brag, folks. Humble brag. Come on. Come on. You're so good at bragging, Mary. I decided Mary's going to be my official bragger. I'm Mindy's hype man. So I don't have to do it. Or woman. You're her hype chick. I'm her hype woman. Hype chick. Yeah. She's a hype chick. Hype man is just cooler. Just take a big stick. I'm good. This is almost- In case you didn't know, we're smoking here. And it's good. Do we have any like- It's a hot box. Do we have any like- Do we have any like problems we have to solve or anything? Like any current events to cover this week? We don't really, do we? Well, I don't know. I thought we could think back on 2012 because this is going to be looked on as an epic year. And I hear all these people being like, oh, fuck 2012. Oh, they can all go suck. I had an awesome year. I went to Europe. We had an awesome year. It got legalized in two states. So many states of- Are like hopping on the medical train and decriminalizing. True story. About damn time. Woo hoo. About damn time. There's been actually like a few scientific studies that came out in 2012 that were like very positive. And what did we learn? Marijuana use slows the symptoms of diabetes. Diabetes? Yeah. There's a connection there. Everyone knows, but like scientific studies are prudent. Wait, but wait, you're going to smoke the weed and then you're going to eat all them baby roof balls and then you're going to get the diabetes and then you're going to get the diabetes. But it helps. And then you got to hang out with Wilford Brimley. Yeah. Nobody's forcing you to hang out with Wilford Brimley. That is your decision. Diabetes. Oh man. And it was the safest airplane year ever. Did you guys hear that? Oh really? Yeah, that's cool. No, but you know what? I love airplanes. Here's one downside from this year. Huell Houser is retiring or has retired. No. Yeah. He's just gone. He doesn't want to do it anymore. He doesn't want to show us like the majesty that is all the ladybugs at the ladybug preserve. Oh. Like I- He doesn't want to take us to the ladybug picnic? He don't want to do shit anymore except for fucking be dope as shit in his plaid button down short sleeve shirt. Have you ever seen the one where he is like- And like freak out about everything he sees. Oh yeah. You could take him to like, you could take Huell Houser to like, like, like Planned Parenthood and he'd be like, how many y'all getting abortions today? Like he like, he's just like fascinated with life. Yeah. And now he's just not going to do anymore. He's just not down. Really? You want to try and get him as a guest on here? Yeah. I've been trying to get him. I've been, I've been secretly like- We have all these goals. Facebook messaging him, but I'm not sure if it's a real Huell Houser account. So like I've been- Please come on our show. Yeah. And he's like, oh, I'll be there. And I'm like, no, you actually won't. Cause you never, like you keep saying yes, but are you a human or are you a robot? So I don't really know, but I've been trying. Huell, if you're out there. I've been fucking messaging you, and you need to come on our show. Yeah. I want to talk about that one video. The Melvins. Oh. We need you on our show. The Melvins too. Yeah. Basically Melvins, we're just going to be bothering you from now on until you come on the show. I hope you get your van. Yeah, dude. I saw the Melvins. I saw the Melvins last night. I'm here to tell you guys, it was a pretty, pretty sick ass show. But one thing that me and Mindy have talked about numerous times, and it was definitely the case last night. Mm-hmm. Like nobody fucking moves. Yeah. On a fucking pit. I am so proud of you. In Los Angeles. It drives me nuts. Like we were there last night. Coming from an environment where people mosh. Like there were like some sick ass shows recently in my hometown, in the videotapes. Everyone's like rocking the fuck out. I'm like, look, there's all my best friends moshing and I'm here in LA with all the arm crossers. Dude, at Cui, we were at Cui. We were at Cui on fucking, on Friday. Me and Mindy and my sister and a few other people. Yeah. A few other people, like a few assorted clams. We were fucking like in the middle, in the front. We saw a band play right before them called Lozen, who are two of the like hottest, most tribal metal, awesome bitches. Those ladies rule. Those girls do. I'm gonna have to play you some songs. Lozen. Yeah, we're gonna play some Lozen. Max, you're like, you have them as a friend. So I need to hit you up and find out this low down on Lozen. Yeah, Lozen's the shit. Because you obviously know they are. They're Washington. So like we're at this show where there's like two hard ass bands and they're coming at you hard. Nobody's moving except for you. Except for Mindy and Nicole and kind of me. Like I'm like headbanging, but I had heels on so I like wasn't like marching around. My sister is pretty drunk and so she was ready to rock. So she was hanging on me. Pretty wasted. Me and Nicole were rocking. Yeah, you guys were like thrashing around. I was like, yeah, come with me, Nicole. That's really much. Nobody else. Nobody else, guys. And then same thing at Melvin's. We're at fucking Melvin's at this tiny little shit hole, beautiful hotel, but it's like a little room and nobody is losing their shit. And at one point a girl tapped me on the shoulder from behind to ask me if I could either move or not move around so much. Wow. It's the Melvin's. It was kind of like that in Chicago when I saw him. Can you move or not move around so much? Like I literally was like, what exactly am I supposed to do? These are the people who valeted to the fucking show. Okay. They have to understand the cuntitude. They wear the black tie attire like was requested. Oh yeah. There's black tie attire requested. I wore my beautiful motor headdress. Yeah. Yeah. That's where I go when it comes time to fucking, you know. Well, guess what? Someone out there called 1-800-893-9562. Get the fuck out of here. Who called us? Yeah. Who the fuck am I speaking to right here? Who's this? Well, this is Frankie Rizzo right here from a small town, small town in California. Yeah. Frank Rizzo. Frank Rizzo. What small town? What's going on? Well, my Jewish family and I, we just love you guys. We're big fans. Who's yelling in the background? God, your life sounds hectic, dude. Oh, I got these warts all over my ass. Oh, they're all nubby. God and baby Jesus help us. It's going crazy. I blew off these firecrackers in all my fingers and now nubs. Oh, they're all red and stingy. What's going on? No. Wow. Wow. There's so many of you there. What's going on? Yeah, what's going on? Who's naked? Who's not? Who's naked? Who's not? That's the game we want to play. Do you have a question for our guests? Well, my nephew here took my phone and we're having a few problems here. I'm Eleanor Steinberg. The worst Jew in the world. We're trying to start off a new year here and... What? What is the problem? What are you doing? Well, I had to say... Wow. Hey, tell Edith Bunker back there that she's not going to be home until later. Yeah, Edith Bunker needs to know. You meathead. You meathead. You chucklehead. You fucking... Yeah, can I ask a question? Yeah, what's the question? Someone needs to keep talking. So, how do you do what you do? I just get up and do it. Nobody's going to do it for me. I wish I could pay someone to do it, but I ain't got that kind of cash, dude. Who are you talking to? They're on the radio. They're on the radio, Martha. Leave them alone. Oh, Martha. I think... Oh, is this Martha? Is Star around too or is it just Martha tonight? Fuck. If Martha's on her own, I'm worried. Oh, God. Wait, but who's... And then, wait, Martha, you roll with fucking Frank Rizzo, doggy? What? What are you saying? Hey, what do you mean? I'm Frankie Rizzo right here. Well, former mayor of Philadelphia, Frank Rizzo? No one is boss with him. He's an asshole. Don't trust him. Well, how are you doing, Martha? How you landing? Can I have my cell phone back, Frankie? I am the sausage king of Chicago. Frankie, give me my phone. Oh, my God. There's like nine of you insane people. I picture all of you as like the hamsters in the Scion in that commercial. It's like... But you're all retarded. I don't know what hamsters. What is going on? I'm kind of a Cadillac kid. It's not hamster. It's hamster. Hamster? You'll never be able to pronounce hamster. We're in the Hamptons. All right. I worry about you, Bevy. I worry a lot. How did you know we had a hamster? I'll take a ham and... It's in your bum. ... on rye. Why are you sticking hamsters in your bum? Are you reading Queer? I can't make you a sandwich with hamsters. There's no hamster sandwich in your future. Hamster salad? You guys need to deliver it? Well, where does ham come from? What are you ordering? From Kosher Pigs. Do you know that I said... Do you know that I secretly... You're all getting boxes of spiders for Christmas. Oh, I see where you're going. Belated. Just assume that we're Jewish. Is that what you're doing? Oh, are we? I don't know. I'm not Jewish, but I've met many on TV. I assumed. All of them. All of them. All of the Jews. All those young Jews. Even the weasel. Even the weasel. Specifically the weasel. Oh, I'm such a big fan of him. You sound like you're fapping and it's really putting me off. Fapping? Are they felching? I'll tell you what... They sound like they're like doing it or dry humping. You guys sound wrong. Dude, this is Pauly Shaw, bro. Dude, are you guys fucking, bro? Do you guys want to do it? Do you guys want to get on fucking, bro? Come on, bro. I'm the weasel. Check it. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Is that Pauly Shaw? Is that Pauly Shaw? Oh, my. Pauly's in the place, bro. Check it out. I'm such a big fan. Yeah, you want me to sign a copy of whatever movie I was in that you have with you? I'm Pauly Shaw, bro. Damn, Pauly Shaw. Pauly Shaw. Pauly Shaw. Pauly Shaw. That was so bad. Oh! Call 1-800-PAWLY-SHAW, bro. Oh! Yeah, bro. Yeah, what's up? Dude, my mom wants to call me a show, bro. My mama's a comic star. Yeah, my mama's a comic star! I fell out of the right vagina. Dude, check it out, bro. Fuck's up, brother. Check it out now. You guys really, you guys broke the Pauly Shaw seal, so I hope you're happy with yourselves. Way to go, bro. Boy, hey, man. We didn't know. Wait, is anybody over there named Kyle? Because Kyle said he was, I was hot earlier. I want to know if that's the same Kyle. He was right, bro. Who is the Kyle that thinks Mary's hot? Is there a Kyle? Is there a Kyle over there? Skid Row Studios dot com. Tell me. Boy. No, he's never gonna tell me. Dude, we had this intro loaded up of our guest we should play. Well, I don't know, Kyle. I guess if you're out there, Kyle, give me a call on your own time. But right now we're gonna play some Skippy Simon. Wait, we're gonna play what? We found a video of you on the YouTube. Yeah, up on the intranet. Oh, shit. So we're gonna play it now. So we're gonna go. We love you. Woo. Oh, shit. I'm running outside right now. I'm gonna go get a slap down. There's not a good stand-up comic out there. There were very few party comics. You know, you had like your Red Foxes, Sam Kinison's, Andrew Dice Clay's. You know, that type of comedy needs to come back. And I'm just doing my little part. I'm bringing the balls back. That's a good one. I'm gonna go get a slap down. I'm gonna go get a slap down. I'm gonna go get a slap down. I'm gonna go get a slap down. I'm gonna go get a slap down. I'm gonna go get a slap down. I'm gonna go get a slap down. Fuck, yeah. Fucking ready. The message right now, you guys, our headliner for tonight here at 3AM Plus, let him hear you, guys, Skippy Simon. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. I'm fucking high as shit right now. Like, I understand why retarded children smile. That's how fucking high I am. This is the best night ever, man. Fucking religious people, shut up. Fucking shut up, dude. You fucking narconists, regular folk. Shut up, dude. Shut the fuck up, religious people. You know who you are. I'm so tired of your shit. I fucking, I'm at the bus stop. I'm all drunk because I fucking wrapped my car around a telephone pole and it caught on fire and I was calling the cops to tell them it got stolen and everything because you got to be responsible about that shit. Some religious dude sitting there hugging a Bible and he's telling me about like, oh, you know, what do you believe? And I'm like, I'm a born-again atheist, motherfucker. And he's like, you're going to hell. And I'm like, what? He's like, you're going to hell. I'm like, fucking awesome. He's like, what are you so happy about? I'm like, you won't be there. Wow. And then I puked on him. He's like, why'd you do that, Mike? Satan says what's up, bitch. That was awesome. Yay. What do we mean? Yeah, that was, uh, that was, uh, Skippy Simon coming at you. That was from a very, uh, fun night and I want to thank everybody who was there and was involved because my buddy Eric got it on tape and he made all those little snippets for me on the YouTubes. Yeah, if you want to check it out, uh, Skippy Simon on the YouTubes and, uh, just type in, you know, Skippy Simon and also on Facebook if you want to, like, contact me there. Got the Facebook Skippy Simon and also, uh, on Twitter, um, Skippy Simon 667 because I'm one up on the devil. Yeah. All right. But needless to say, uh, yeah, I, that's from a thing I did at the three clubs in Hollywood and it was just, I was completely wasted. Like, the shots. That's the way to be. Yeah, the shots in there of me doing, like, whippets and, like, like, doing nights or doing fucking bong rips and, like, drinking beers. Like, that's preparation for my show. Yeah. Pre-gaming it. You're pre-gaming it. Like, our show's like that. There's usually something involved. Yeah, we're either, we're either drinking or head-butting each other or smoking weed. If there's not weed, it's a depressing time and you know that we're having some financial difficulties. We've had a rough fucking, we've had a rough fucking go of it before when we haven't had anything to smoke. Yeah, it gets shitty. We don't get our weed dicks out. Yeah. We had an episode where we drank weed whiskey. Oh, my God. Oh, fucking hell. Dude. We got fucked. At the end of the episode, it made no sense. It was just me and Mindy, like, we were, like, we were kind of stoned when the show started. But, you know, by the end of the show, like, around the middle is when we said, like, we're going to take a break and drink this weed-infused whiskey. And we were like, this is a great idea. Like, and I kind of was like, I didn't believe that it was going to, like, fuck us up. It sounds like melting juice. Pretty much. Like, the end of the episode, by, like, You can't even understand us. Like, I've listened back to the episode. Couldn't even feel it. We're just, like, three minutes. Wow. This guy, this guy calls and he's like, he's like, hey, man, I'm fucking, I'm rubbing one out. I'm fucking jacking off. And, like, because he, like, started with something like that and I was like, I was, like, literally, like, on a mean tear. I just, like, was mean to him. And at one point, he was like, well, you know, it's, you know, since it's November. You called him Whack Morris. Yeah, I called him Whack Morris. I kept saying his name was Whack Morris. And then what was it? Ace, not Acey Slater? Oh, he said, you know, he goes, he said something about Ronnie James Dio being a spinner. And, like, for some reason, that just, that, like, astounds and, like, befuddles and confounds me. Like, I'm pissed about that. I don't like to hear that. Ronnie James Dio is a saint. He should be treated as such. I agree. But, like, this guy, like, he was just, like, on my bad side. And so, like, me and Mindy were just being bitches to him because we were so fucking fucked up on weed whiskey, weed-infused whiskey, courtesy of fucking Jeremy. When I saw you live, do you remember? I think I played with you kind of. And I was wasted. Yeah. I heckled you. Do you remember? Yes. Yeah, she's a heckler, dude. She was heckling you the other night. I come from a land of hecklers and I miss it. And then in L.A., no one heckles me. Oh, no. I absolutely adore hecklers. Do you want me to start heckling you? Because I totally will. Come to the shows and heckle. Yeah. Like, someone did it once and I just heckled back and then they shut up. So then I was like, well, that's just it. It's just that, you know, like, I learned in the Army that you have to be smarter than the equipment you're working with. And I realize that every time I get on stage that everybody who is in this audience I'm greater than them. And the reason why is because they just paid to come see me. My mom said it the best. She goes, you know what I love about what you do? Because it's better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass. And what you do, dumb asses will come see your smart ass perform. You know, my mom said one time that was like, I've held on to it for a really long time. What's that? My mom has said, it's always easier to apologize rather than to ask for permission. Oh. And I totally, totally agree. Totally agree with that. We were talking about being funny. That's a good one. Being funny and being yourself. She's like, nine times out of ten you're going to feel better having to apologize because you went too far as opposed to asking for permission to go that far. And I kind of get it. I mean, I don't live the kind of lifestyle where I'm offending people on the regs, but I think that with the right kind of sense of humor you can actually take it kind of far. I think if the right people heard us they'd be quite offended. Yeah, no. Or the wrong people put it that way. Oh, I'm sure something on here might offend them. We should get them here. No, let's not. Let's not give them any more attention. What I love about Westboro is that I can totally go in there like fucking wolf in sheep's clothing and be like, hi, I'm actually really interested, blah, blah, blah, and infiltrate their shit and then be like, hi, you've been had. I'm fucking from the hot box. I'm fucking podcasting stoner shit and you're a bunch of horrible people horrible white people. You make me embarrassed about being white. I've protested that once. Me too, yeah. They may hate me. Was it a Ronnie James Dio thing? No, it was in Sioux City, Iowa like four years ago. Oh, really? Yeah. And my friend was in the newspaper because we were protesting the protesters and we were yelling at them. That's what we did, yeah. He had a t-shirt that said, eat a queer fetus for Jesus. And it was in the paper and I was so happy about that. Yeah, we... Eat a queer fetus for Jesus. Oh, Jesus. That's fantastic. Fucking do it. I dare you. Yeah. Fucking, they're just... Nutritious. They're just horrible. Oh, wait. What was your farm song? They're bloody and slimy and taste like shrimp. Was that what it was? Yeah. Yeah. You know it. I know all your songs, Mindy. I'm your biggest fan. I'm your hype man, remember? You are. I'm gonna start following... Basically, if you guys ever see Mindy around and you're like, where can I find a dope-ass drummer? I'm gonna be following her around and telling you how good of a drummer she is. You're the Flavor Flav to her Chuck D. You're that dancing dude to her dude from... I'm that green hat that hangs out with Snoopaloop, Snoop Lion, Snoop. Oh, wait. You're talking about a magic wand. I wanna play drums with Snoop Dogg. Yeah. Yeah. Mindy has like a Snoop Dogg hard-on that's been lasting her for... Basically, since I met you. I'm a rapper at heart. You are. So am I. Oh, did we actually... Did we record anything last night or no? Oh, Jeremy's not paying attention. Jeremy, did we record... Did we record the raps? Yeah, we got all that. We gotta just clean up the office. Oh, no. There was all kinds of craziness going on, so... Do we get any of the chewing on the balls shit? What's that? Do we get any of the chewing on the balls shit? I have you guys singing chewing on the balls in the elevator. Oh, no. And I just remembered that on the way down, I'm wasted and I'm talking to the camera. So I don't remember what about. I just remember that. I freestyled a song. And then I picked you ladies up. It's basically the first thing you guys are gonna hear from us is I wrote... I've started freestyling on a song that Mindy made beats for called Chewing on the Balls. Chewing on the Balls. Yeah. Yeah. Chomp, chomp, chomp, motherfucker, I'm chewing on the balls. Chewing on the balls. Chomp, chomp, motherfucker, I'm chewing on the balls. I don't want to sing it all because I don't want to give it away. I can get under that. It's a good song. I mean, over that too. I like the beats. Yeah, and then Mindy writes the beats. I hold down the Tasty Jams, you know, sing song. We wrote a jingle. Hey, maybe we can play the jingle. No, no, yeah, the jingle sucks. I have to sound better somehow. Oh. I think. Wait, you got it. You guys are playing jingles? Well, we recorded a jingle, but it's super teamwork, but it needs so much cleaning up and like, it just needs to get better. Oh, wait, do we only have three minutes left? Yes. This is it. Skid Row Studios, it's the happiest place to be. Skid Row Studios, fuck you FCC. I dig it. That's beautiful. It needs like five things to be better about it. Anyone wants to pay me millions of dollars to write jingles for their, you know, advertising. Mindy, you'll jingle all over your fucking jingle berries. Is it your turn? Yeah. Mary's turn to hit the joint. So. So, yeah, you guys. 2013. We're going to bring on some awesome guests. I promise we'll get business cards and we'll try really hard to get what's his name? Snoop Lion. Yeah. Whatever he goes by. Mindy, let's do really quickly. Let's go around Robin. What are your New Year's resolutions? Oh, man. Oh, to fuck you. Finally, like record and actually physically put out a solo album. OK. I just like fuck around and not do anything with it. This is empty. If you want to fashion or there. OK, what about you? Beats for you. Huh? New Year's resolutions. All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz and I'm fine. All right. Perfect. Jeremy. New Year's resolutions. I don't do that shit. Save one. One thing that you might do cool to make goal. He's way. I've reached all my goals many years ago. Really? Perfect. So you peaked, bro. It's a constant ladder. Once you reach when you reach them, you got to make more. I've like reached so many goals, but I have more. I'm climbing. That's good. My goals are stupid. It's not like fortune or fame. It's like I want to play this show. I want to do this. Do you want to hear my my New Year's resolutions? Yeah. I thought about them long and hard. I'm going to try to be more of an asshole and try to lose another 90 pounds. Wow. So she's trying to get she's trying to get her fucking like I'm trying to be as awful as possible. No, actually, I don't have any New Year's resolutions other than take care of my family and take care of my dog and take care of myself. Nice things, you know, for nice people because I'm a nice person. You are a nice person. Very nice. You're so nice. I'm a nice person. It ends up being that. But yeah, I actually don't believe in the New Year's resolution thing either, but I don't fucking feel the need to embroider the subject like Jeremy over here. I have goals. I always have goals. Yeah, I got goals. I got aspirations. Oh, wait. My buddy just wanted me to do a shout out. It's working out great for me. Shout out. I'm going to do a shout out to my buddy Sleestack in Pittsburgh. It's his podcast Sleestack 1971 because I just want to let you know I fucking love him. He's a, I love him. I like when I first started listening to podcasts, he was one of my first and like I just, yeah, he's one of my absolute favorites. So anyone who's out there listening, I mean like, and I'm not saying this show isn't fantastic, but like my buddy Sleestack, he's a local yinzer from Pittsburgh and I just love the guy and I wish, as a verbal hug to you, buddy. Sleestack1971.com, motherfuckers. Because he's fucking great. Well, we love Sleestack. We love Skippy Simon. We love each other. We'll have to do a conference call with Sleestack. Oh, definitely. He'd love to do that. Yeah, he's a great dude. Mindy, we'll definitely be back here next Tuesday. You've been listening to The Hot Box. Check out our podcast. We have hotboxshow.com, facebook.com slash thehotbox. You can email us at info at hotboxshow.com. And we love you. Mary's gonna set up a fucking Twitter one of these days. I'm gonna set up a Twitter, bitches. I'm gonna do Naughty Show and Black Fag. Naughty Show, Black Fag, Skippy Simon, me. Yeah, let's do it. Fucking party 2013. Yeah, awesome. Jutty, jutty people I said you jutty too much What G, what G