Weekly news wrap-up with Drew Marks and Jeff Hendrick covering Middle East, fiscal cliff, and sports

Welcome to Skid Row Studios in downtown Los Angeles. This is the weekly wrap-up where we get you caught up on the week's biggest stories the least depressing way possible. Like us on Facebook or better yet subscribe free at the iTunes store to the weekly wrap-up. I am your host Ken August. I am joined today by the host of Bad Advice Drew Marks. How are you buddy? I'm doing well. Nice to be here. Yeah, you just stayed over from the sex show beforehand. I did I was on the love bite That is fantastic. You managed to keep everything out of your ass. I did. That's amazing. That's not the story I'm telling Also with us. The pictures say differently. We'd like to welcome back Jeff Hendrick actor comedian Jeff Hendrick. How you doing buddy? Good morning everyone. Welcome back. We have coming up on the show today. We have Egypt's new president and part-time dictator tries to play a rare game of speed constitution. Very few winners in a game of speed constitution. We'll explain that. Plus two and a half months after Ambassador Stevens was killed in Benghazi Republicans are keeping their eye on the important question What did Susan Rice say to meet the press? Also Congress has 30 days to avoid driving the country off the fiscal cliff if my math is correct That's 28 days of the same crap and two days of negotiating And the 2013 baseball Hall of Fame ballot just came out They had to put it on legal size paper to make room for buried bonds his head but first the United Nations voted overwhelmingly to recognize a Palestinian state and Apparently hell has no fury like a jew scorned Do we have our audio Clips ready? Let's listen to this from the Associated Press Nations you in General Assembly voted overwhelmingly to recognize Palestine as a nonmember for observer state. The vote was 138 to 9, with 41 countries abstaining, two of those opposed, the U.S. and Israel. We have been clear that only through direct negotiations between the parties can the Palestinians and Israelis achieve the peace they both deserve. In the proceeding of this meeting... Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas lobbied hard for the vote, winning support from key U.S. allies. It could boost his popularity within the Palestinian territories. The militant group Hamas has seen its own popularity rise after the recent battles with Israel. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called the U.N. vote meaningless. It does not change the Palestinians' control over their borders, territory, or airspace. Egypt's constitu... Nice. So, uh, you want to bring a vote to the U.N., Israel said? Well, get cocking off the arm. Which, by the way, for anyone who does not know, and I assume there's not a lot of people, that is Yiddish for go shit in the ocean. Oh. I learned that as a kid, actually, when I stole my grandmother's cigarettes. Oh, I thought it was because that's what grandma used to read bedtime stories and close each one with, and go shit in the ocean. I literally, I stole her cigarettes and I learned that, and I've had that queued up for 30 years, waiting for it to seem appropriate into the conversation. Kaboom. Here it is. And check that off my list, yeah. So hours, hours after the Palestinian state or the vote took place, which the vote, by the way, was 138 nations voted for the Palestinian state, 9,000... 9 voted against, 41 members apparently were out drinking the night before and didn't make the vote. They abstained. Yes, they did. You're a non-member, it's almost like you're a foster child now, if you're Palestinian. You're not really part of the family, but you can show up to the holidays. A non-member state is what they're called. So, I mean, they still, it doesn't give them any more, you know, any more power over their own borders. No, but the one thing it does do is it does give them world court access. Yes. So if they have... If they have... A big reason why that would play a role is, and they haven't, you know, they haven't said they're doing it yet, but the International Criminal Court basically forbids countries from moving in civilian, their own civilian populations into lands that they took in war. Right. Which obviously is dissettlement. That happens a lot in the neighborhood, yeah. Yes. Of course, some may argue, sorry, some may argue with the logic of, we had a war and we won. Why can't we use that? We can't use that land, but... Especially when they attacked us. But... Yes. But I think what would have been, like, more appropriate is when they, you know, you listen to all the people celebrating, yay, yay, yay, then they should have made the announcement as soon as it was done, Israel, we're going to build more settlements. Aw. Yeah, hours. You know. Hours after, for anyone who does not know, hours after the vote took place and the Palestinians were celebrating, Israel went, okay, you know what? We're going to build 3,000 new settlement homes in the West Bank and East Jerusalem, which eventually, if there is, is going to be a two-state solution, that area is going to have to go to the Palestinians. Right. Which is not... Which is not going to make the Jews living there very happy, I imagine. I tell you right now... They won't willingly leave. I mean, they've had other settlements where they've said, you know, the government had to, like, go in and bulldoze them and use their own military to yank the people out. So none of this leads in any direction towards a peaceful settlement. I would not recommend getting a new map until this is all settled. I will just sharpie in the Palestinian state. I think there should just be a globe. You can get... It's an Etch-a-Sketch model at this point. You can just shake shit up and go, okay, we'll just redraw the Middle East again here today. And whatever you do, don't sign up for that timeshare. No, no, no. You know, you were talking about them celebrating, and after the vote, and understandably, they were all... You know, there are a lot of people in Ramallah. There were clips of them, you know, marching around screaming, God is great, which you just became a non-member. A non-member state is what you just got, that kind of status. They were just happy to be acknowledged on any level. I understand, but are we not... They were just happy to be out of the house. I mean, the place was in lockdown, pretty much. Are we not setting the bar a little low for great, is all I'm saying. Have you seen the way these people live? Seriously. Exactly my point. God is great. You just got U.S. You just got U.N. non-member status. God is great. You know what? Maybe he wouldn't let those settlements go. Or maybe God's going, eh, you know, great's a little much. I'm pretty good. But it seems like a lot of celebrating for hours later, Israel can come right now. Right. Right. Right. Right. When you ask Israel, God is going, who are you? Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, the strange thing is to me, well, first of all, I think the settlements, and I'm pretty sure you, we've discussed this before, you're on the same page. The settlements to me are ridiculous. That's just a poke in the eye. I don't, I can understand specifically with the court why the Israelis would not want the Palestinians to get this vote. What I don't understand is how you can publicly say that. Say, well, you're going around the diplomatic process. How can people who want, the Palestinians who want a state, how in the world, can you publicly say, well, no, you shouldn't try to get that. You should just go through us. I understand you still have to make peace with the Israelis, but how do you expect to get any public support when you're like, don't do that, don't do that, or we're going to start building shit on your land? Yeah. Well, then it begs the question, do certain people in power over there just not want peace? I think. Is it more fun to have somebody to hate? I don't know if it's fun, but politically it probably keeps you in power. And similar to here, there's a lot of people making a lot of money. A lot of money in the defense industry. Yeah. But to those that actually do want peace and in good faith want to negotiate. There's 17 of those people. Yeah. But you look at that and go, yeah, this isn't going to help at all. This is, you can never get the other side to cooperate. The statehood or the settlements? No, the settlements. Yeah. The statehood, I don't, I mean, look, I'm anti the way the Palestinians do things, but I don't have a problem with them wanting a state. The only way you're ever going to have, you know, any peace is a two state solution. I don't think anyone argues that. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's why I'm saying I don't understand how you can publicly, if you're Israel, you can publicly say you shouldn't do that. Don't go for the vote. Don't go for the vote. And it forces us, forces us into that same situation. And then when they went with the settlements, at least the U.S. came out and said, that's, that's not a great move. The U.S., the U.S. said the Palestinians, you know, obviously have to give up certain concessions, but also said that the, they said that the, the U.S. I'm looking forward to hearing that. Basically the, the U.S. Hillary Clinton said it was, you know, that that was provocative. It was unnecessary. Right. And it is, it was, is there's no reason to say eventually this land will be yours. If we come to an agreement in the meantime, we're going to build a bunch of shit on it. Seems unnecessary. You know, the other big, the other big story, unless you guys got something else, you got something else to clear up, maybe bring some Middle East peace. Anyone, anyone clear that up? I think maybe if we move that Twinkie factory that was shut, that are shutting down, and we just, you flood the Middle East with, Twinkies, with Twinkies, and light, and everybody gets fat. You know, there's something to that. If you send Xboxes and Twinkies, okay, fat people in games don't have the time or energy to fight. You just don't. And you, and you got to get, yeah, that is true. Third component, you got to throw some pot in there. Got to get them all high. Well, they're high now just on the wrong stuff. Yeah. Well, high on anger. That's just, that's a bad drug. Yeah. That's, that's easy to kill. Easy to kill on. High on weed, hard to kill people too much. Um, all right. The other big story in that part of the world is in Egypt, where Islamist lawmakers got all hopped up on coffee and no doughs and wrote a constitution in one night. Now, if, uh, you'll just pledge allegiance to this, please. We can all, we can all get along. Let's listen to this from Al Jazeera English. Egypt's constituent assembly has adopted a draft constitution after a marathon vote overnight. Many, including liberals and the Coptic church have denounced it. They say the proposed laws restricts freedom of speech and religion. Opposition leader, Mohammed ElBaradei has been equally critical. He says the charter belongs in the garbage bin of history. Well, let's take a look at the text. A draft limits the president to eight years in power. Former president, Hosni Mubarak, you'll recall ruled Egypt for 30 years. It upholds the status of Islam as, and has retained the article defining the principles of Sharia as the main source of legislation. Religious freedom is now limited to only Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. Opponents say this marginalizes minority religions. While a law that prohibits insulting a human is seen as an attempt to censor criticism of the president. By the way, you can't, there's a law saying you can't insult a human. Drew, you would be dead in minutes, minutes. I might not go over well. How do you think the Buddhists feel? The Egyptian Buddhists? What's his name? What is it, like three of them? And they live in one house. And they live in one house. And they're, they're, and they don't tell anyone they're Buddhists. What they're doing is leaving is what they're doing. So for, right. So to give a quick update on, on what happened here, the newly elected president of Egypt decided last week to give himself to a decree, two things, one that the, the judges cannot, or the, the judiciary cannot disband a group that was going to write the constitution. And then the second decree was to basically, forbid the judges from reviewing his decrees, which is nice. So here is my decree. And my second decree is you can't judge my decrees. Okay. So people start protesting. He says, Hey, you know what? If you all relax, once we get a constitution, I'll give my powers back. Problem is, is the constitution was written by almost all Islamists, which is what scares people. Out of the 85 members in attendance, there was not one Christian and there was only four women. And all the women were a hardcore Islamist. I don't know how they're even. I see. I can't, I can't. It could have been men underneath those. We don't know. Yeah. The thing that I can't get past is actually the guy's name. The new president of Egypt, Morsi. Cause all I hear is the guy from the Smiths. I told you I don't want any freedom. It's all about Sharia. Great. Can you do that with an Egyptian accent? No. I thought he just did. It is. So basically what they did was the, they were trying to write the constitution. They had another couple of months to do it. Um, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, defy the decree and we are going to judge on Tuesday, I believe, or I believe they said on Saturday, sorry, whether or not this, this parliament can actually write the constitution or whether we can disband, whether we should disband them. So the parliament went, oh shit, they're going to, they may disband us. Well, we'll just move up our vote. And basically all got hopped up on caffeine and spent the 16 hour marathon session rushing through a bunch of articles. Like there was literally, there was a story in here about them all voting and they had a bunch of people that were against a certain article. And someone said, you realize if we don't accept this, it's going to take hours again to redo this. So they all just went, okay, good enough. That's, that's basically the process. You know, after the Iraq war invasion, it took them like years to get a constitution together. Maybe I applaud these guys. Actually, it's like way to get shit done, dude. We, the three of us can write a constitution by the end of this show. It's not going to be good, but we can write a constitution. I'm not sure. I'm not, I'm not sure that any constitution that says eventually you can leave it up to the clerics or you can insult a human or you can be punished by God knows what. It's very, it's very nice. Whereas in the course of this radio show, it becomes evident that all men are brothers and deserve it of equal right. Yes. Bullet to the head. So the opposition now is trying to decide whether or not they want to just rally and have nobody vote for the thing or whether to go for no vote. Cause I'm sure their fear is if they rally and nobody votes against this constitution, they go, Oh, it passed. Right. In which case now everybody that fought against Mubarak and any sort of rule where they don't have a say basically has to agree to a constitution where they don't have any say. Okay. Let me ask you this though. One of the things that the president was saying was that because of the corruption and these people were with Mubarak, nothing was going to get done as far as, you know, changing things in that country because a lot of those people worked for the last regime. And so he ran on like, we're going to fix it. We're going to fix it. We're going to fix the economy. We're going to do all these things. And we're going to be unable to do that. If we leave these people to have a say, which I understand the, the argument against that is it's the judiciary. They only have so much power. Their power is basically a checks and balance and obviously to run the regular courts in a regular criminal system. And basically all he did is say, we're going to get rid of the checks and balance. He didn't say, well, these guys are, are forbidding anything to happen or they're standing in the way or they're obstructing everything. He just said, before they could possibly do any of that, I'm going to override everything they can do. And then it's they, that part of the world. And now maybe he has, maybe he's not lying. Maybe he's at least has the right intention, but that's a part of the world where I believe Mubarak said he would eventually give back his, you know, some of his dictatorial powers as well. And that took 30 years. I like his go-to spirit. You would be dead in 10 minutes in that place, dude. Dead in 10 minutes. And speaking of which, Skid Row has just sent Drew tickets to Egypt. That's fantastic. Wow. I won. I won. Yes, you did. Yet so did we. I did, I did want to say, I forgot to throw this in there. This is completely unrelated to most of the other stuff, but it struck me as entertaining. It may not be the right word. A far right Hungarian lawmaker suggested that members of Hungarian parliament who were Jewish or of Jewish origin should be registered in order to quote, avoid the national security risk caused by the Jews. Yeah. Boy, you know, counting up Jews, what could possibly go wrong with that? It sounds familiar. I can't put my finger on it. Now, unfortunately for this guy, there's no historical lesson to learn here. Really? Oh my God. The European Jewish Congress president had said, quote, we demand outrage from the senior Hungarian and European union officials. Can you demand outrage? Yes, you can. You're not going to get it, but you can demand anything. I mean, if somebody is not outraged and someone says, I demand you to be outraged, then he says, okay, I'm outraged. Do you believe him now? Yeah. I don't really know. You should have demanded something more reasonable, like a sandwich. I want two pounds of bananas. I demand a sandwich and fake outrage. I'm fine with that. I'm so angry. And in Syria, where people continue to die, the civil war continues and internet and mobile phone service has been cut off throughout the country. It's back up, actually. It is back up now. It is back up. Because I was going to say, that does, to me, seem to at least be the least of their worries. Well, the... That's how you get... The international community was concerned with absolutely no internet access and no information getting out that the Syrian government could just really do a number on the people. That's what the opposition was saying. Because they've been being nice so far. Yeah, they've been real princes so far. The opposition was concerned and saying, basically, last time that all this went out, it was because it was a big military offensive coming up. Yep. And, of course, the government said, no, no, it's the rebels. The rebels don't want the internet. Right. No. I mean, that's tough. That war's been going on for, what, two years? Two years almost now? Yeah. It's not... Here's the thing. There is no... When we've talked about it on this show, there is no political solution to that. To Syria? Yeah. There is... Not right now. I don't think at any point... No, the only political solution is... One side is going to lose. The only possible political solution, and I don't disagree with you, I'm saying the only way out of that would be, basically, if somebody somehow, and that would probably have to come from Russia or China, and it would also only happen... Or Iran. It would only happen, obviously, if he feels he's... If he feels he's about to lose... That he leaves. If the president leaves. Yeah. Yes. But that's the culmination of the other side winning. Well, yes. That's their goal. Well, the other side would be happy with him dead at this point. He's been killing... Dead or leaving. But I'm saying, as long as he's done... Yeah. That is the thing. So he is either going to crush the rebellion or leave or die. That's it. If you're going to say crush the rebellion, you have to say it like the guy from Star Wars. You must crush the rebellion. Thank you very much. Thank you very, very much. That was well done. Well, by well done, I mean it was done. It's a trap. It's a trap. Because I like that guy. I like the big fish head. Admiral Ackbar? Yes. Admiral Ackbar makes a rare... By the way, good jump from Middle East problems to Admiral Ackbar. All right. Let's switch over to US politics. Have you ever seen the Syrians? They look a little like him. Ackbar-ish? They're Ackbar-ish. So he's going to get you killed in Egypt right there. Yeah. Seriously, you would have been killed so many times already. Two and a half months. You wouldn't have made it through the last show. You would have been dead. Two and a half months after the attack in Benghazi, and the Republicans are leaving no stone unturned in their search for a scandal. I wish we searched this hard, by the way, for weapons of mass destruction. No, that was the other Rice who didn't, you know... Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll actually have an audio clip of her. But here is what Susan Rice said, where they're all freaking out about. Here is what she said five days after the attack in Benghazi on Fox News Sunday. The best assessment we have today is that... That, in fact, this was not a pre-planned, premeditated attack. That what happened initially was that it was a spontaneous reaction to what had just transpired in Cairo as a consequence of the video. True-ish. Yeah. That was the information she was given by the CIA and the State Department to say on Fox. That's what she was given. That was her job to relate that. Yeah, it's just like the... Now, if Lindsey Graham and Senator John McEnany, Now, if Lindsey Graham and Senator John McEnany, and that dumb twat from New Hampshire, Kelly Iott, don't know this, then shut the fuck up for a few minutes until you do know what you're doing. May I? Sorry, I've been watching this for three fucking weeks, and they've said the same goddamn thing over and over again, and it makes no sense. No, no, first of all, your anger is thoroughly enjoyed from this side of the table. But I will say this. If this was Egypt, you're also dead. I'm doing this show by myself right now. I'd shoot myself in the Egyptian airport. I'll save you the trouble. It's just ridiculous. It's like a... It's a White House press secretary. It's like, here is what you are supposed to say. Right. That's why they don't last that long in the job. Exactly. But if you want to go on who said stuff that ended up being wrong on Sunday morning talk shows, John McCain is one of the all-time winners of this contest. Yeah, well, there's footage. There's footage of every... Well, I don't know about Kelly Iott, but... No, she's new onto the idiot scene. But as far as Graham and McCain, there's all sorts of footage of them explaining to us why we need to go get Saddam Hussein. Because of the weapons of mass destruction. Yes. Yeah. Which they still, I think, think is a good idea. So they did even... I think there's days John McCain thinks he's still in a fucking tiger trap and numb, but that's just me. It could be just him as well, actually. What annoys me, though, is there's no doubt, you know, people died. There was some breakdown in our security system. Oh, the states were made. There's no question. Right. And so there's no argument in that. What's driving me nuts is that... Every bit of this, quote, scandal or all these hearings or all these questions are all angled towards what did Susan Rice say to the public? Not how did this happen or where did the breakdown happen or how did this guy die? This isn't solution-oriented. Those are witch hunt. Yes, those are... It is what did Susan Rice say on the shows? And here is... I think there's two reasons. Who can we hang for this? Well, there's two things for this, and we'll get into one of them. I think there's two main reasons for this. I think one of them is... And we'll talk... We'll talk about it. It's because they don't want her to be Secretary of State so they can have a special election and get a Republican in there. Because if they don't move her... Yeah, they... If they don't pick her to replace Hillary Clinton, then there's a lot of people believe it'll be John Kerry... Right. ...who has to get rid of his seat, and then there'll be a special election, and they think Scott Brown, a Republican, would win that. Who just lost his seat, by the way, to Elizabeth Warren. Right. But he did come in in the previous election and sweep in there into a Kennedy seat, old seat. Yeah. Basically... Because the woman he was running against... Was an idiot. Yeah. Yes. And didn't campaign. Didn't run. Yeah, she didn't run. That being said, still, there's a motivation for them. Now, whether or not that's the actual motivation, obviously, who knows? Although, I believe there was Senator Collins, Susan Collins, a Republican from Maine, when asked after meeting with Susan Rice, came out and said she still has, you know, some questions, and her random statement out of nowhere was, oh, by the way, John Kerry as Secretary of State. Yeah. That would easily be confirmed, just in case anybody was curious. Right. So that's what makes me think that it is a push to get Kerry in there so they can try to get that idiot Scott Brown back in the Senate. Well, yes, and they can get, obviously, and I think it's less about Scott Brown and more about just getting another Republican number in there. But he's the known commodity, and he's the, you know, he's your former male model in pink leather hot pants. It's not a bad look. Now... Then why doesn't the president just go, let's make Al Franken Secretary of State? That'd be awesome. Well, because it's the same thing. He'd have to give up his seat. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Well, here's the other thing, though, that I think, I think plays part, plays into part of their fury about Susan Rice, is during the election, they were dying to use this Benghazi thing against him. They were dying to use it against Obama as much as they could. And they did get a little bit of a scandal talk going, if you watch Fox News. You got a lot of scandal if you watch Fox News. But after the fact, Obama has now won, and now they're saying, wait a second, if Susan Rice would have put in this other bit of information, instead of wording it, you know, this way, then it would have seemed more scandalous or at least more like Obama messed up. And now we can't use it. Yeah. She kept them from using it. Now, even though it wasn't on her end, in other words, the administration gave her something to say. Right. So it wouldn't be used against the administration, which is nothing the Republicans wouldn't have done if they had been in power. Well, and those things that they gave her to say were talking points that were some class. She had classified and unclassified talking points. But the talking points she had were written and rewritten by. Right. The intelligence community. Multiple different departments. So it's not like she said, this is what I would like. This is my message. And it's not like Obama stopped by and said, this is my message. That being said, it could have been worded in a way that Obama would not have been happy. It could have been worded in a way Obama was happy. Right. She's basically, like you said. She worked for the administration. The administration sent her out to do her to hear the talking points as opposed to, hey, give every bit of info that we have right now. Five days after. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Look, it's absurd to think they weren't thinking, you know, of the election at the same time. So it's like, okay, let's find a good medium ground. It's like, no administration. You go, listen, we should say something that's going to shoot us in the foot right now. This is completely our fault. And we're sorry everybody's dead. Please don't reelect us. Right. It's a close election. Let's take a shot. Let's take a risk. You know? Right. Right. So, I mean, having things worded in a way that helps you look good is really nothing new to politics. And certainly nothing. That is that shocking or that egregious. Right. But the whole, the whole crazy hunt and none of it seems to be, how could we avoid this from happening as opposed to how can we blame her for saying shit on the air? And tie it to the president. Right. I think so much of that is just bitterness over the inability to use that against Obama when they had the chance. And now they can't. Also, I think it's a desperate attempt for McCain to seem relevant. He's an angry man. He's an angry old man. He's an angry man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. force that was killed and there were no NATO deaths as of now, as of this report, as of this morning. And it seems it was, according to them, it was coordinated and complex. There were three or four different heavily armed vehicles that went right into the entrances of the base and blew up and then people in NATO uniforms came in afterwards with a firefight. Apparently it didn't work that well because there was no dead NATO troops. Can we leave now? Yeah, exactly. We are on the way out. We are on the way out. We are handing over... We're going into our 11th year and with absolutely no end in sight, this is the same... 2014. 2014, we are handing Afghan forces, we'll take over in 2014. That is the plan. That's the official timeline. That is the timeline where we're supposed to. Now, that's combat troops. That doesn't mean we don't have troops that train in there, but combat troops will be out. We're also going to still have, I believe, anti-insurgent squads, you know, like smaller things that if... That's my favorite anti. Yeah. Anti-insurgent. Anti. Anti-matter is my favorite. Oh, that's nice. That is nice. That is very nice. Alright, so we have 30 days until the deadline. I just go with inflammatory. We have 30 days until the deadline for the fiscal cliff or as I like to call it, the punishment for Americans for electing an inept Congress. But I guess the fiscal cliff is a little easier to say than the other thing. So, let's listen to this from Al Jazeera English. If only we had a more direct comparison here, sort of a one-to-one, like another high-ranking government official passing what they knew... No, no, but keep this plain. Keep this plain. I want to hear this. ...the American public on a Sunday news show, also in line to become Secretary of State and was African-American and a woman and let's say her name was also Rice. That be something? We do know that there have been shipments going into Iran, for instance, into Iraq, for instance, of aluminum tubes that really are only suited to high-quality aluminum tubes that are only really suited for nuclear weapons programs, centrifuge programs. She knew that was bulls**t at the time. That was the Daily Show, obviously, pointing out what you had mentioned earlier, Condoleezza Rice. I mean, as much as we earlier, and I want to move on to the fiscal cliff, but as much as we were talking about this bulls**t scandal, and then we were talking last week about how they didn't seem to have this much of a problem with Colin Powell talking us into going to war, using talking points given to him about weapons of mass destruction that are not there, Jon Stewart pointed out in a very sad but funny way, Condoleezza Rice couldn't have had more coincidences or more similarities, I should say, to what Susan Rice is going through right now. Absolutely. Yet he also then played a clip of Graham and of McCain both supporting her, saying, well, she's going to be the face of the country, so we should not attack her. Yeah. Nice. Nice. That seems consistent. That seems consistent. But let's get back to the fiscal cliff. President Barack Obama is back on the campaign trail, this time not asking for votes, but for phone calls and emails to members of Congress. He says the right thing to do to deal with America's deficit, more taxes on the wealthy, $1.6 trillion over 10 years, cuts of $400 billion in social programs, and an additional $50 billion in stimulus money to be spent on infrastructure projects. Republicans call that laughable. Literally, the Republican in the Senate reportedly laughed out loud at the proposal. They want spending cuts instead of tax increases. It was not a serious proposal. This isn't an abstract ideological fight. The two sides have just one month to come to an agreement. If not, taxes for most Americans will go up, and federal spending will get cut. Economists say that will lead to another recession in the U.S., and that will impact the global economy. Now, if you're wondering, Drew, why I was putting plastic all over the area, it's because whenever I mention John Boehner, Jeff's head explodes. Douche. Fucking orange-flavored douche. No one can be surprised about this, though. This is the exact... Republicans have held firm on this belief. We support our rich masters. This is what we gotta do. Here's the other thing. 52% of Congress are millionaires or better. You can't win an election these days without having an immense amount of money. What I'm saying is, you have a direct conflict of interest, then. Hey, I don't want to raise my own taxes. Right. So they're not thinking of the rest of us. They're thinking solely about themselves. Because this recession will not hit any of these guys. Period. They will feel a fucking thing. No. The only thing... You and I and the three of us could be fucking homeless. And it will not even register a blip on Capitol Hill. No. The only thing that is going on right now is, at least for the next 20-something days until they have to come to some kind of deal, is they're trying to save face. These guys all want to get re-elected. So they have to... They have to. They have to. They have to. They have to. They have to. They have to. They have to. They have to. They have to save face. If they turn around... I mean, the fact is, this whole tax plan Obama has is not something he sprung on people after he won the election. It is rare. It is rare to run on, we're going to raise certain people's taxes and win and win handily. So it's hard. I don't understand. And this was a criticism that people had of Obama when he first got elected, was that he would compromise by saying, okay, let me immediately come to the middle point. Oh, you guys still say no? Okay, well, let's start negotiating from here. Yeah. At least now he's saying, you know what? 1.6 trillion, 400 billion in spending cuts, not exactly 50-50, and then he still wants to spend a shitload more money. 50 billion. 50 billion dollars on infrastructure spending. Well, the infrastructure thing, everybody, it's sad. I wish there was a better word for that. How about jobs fixing roads and bridges and shit as opposed to infrastructure? Because infrastructure is vague. Let's spend money on stuff we need to do. Bingo! See, that's what infrastructure should be called. Yeah, well... Need to do. You would also think that when that shit gets done, somebody has to have a job to do that. Bingo. You'd think that would help as well. Yeah, we got a lot of people coming home who used to shoot guns for a living. Let's have them do something else. Yes. Well, you know... I mean, it's shocking, but here's the thing. Once again, it's a saving face period. They can't... Republicans, I mean... This is not Japan. There's no face to be saved here. The thing is, even in Republican strongholds, people still support... The citizenry still support higher taxes on the rich. Yes. In general polls, yes. But depending on what your area is and who you're hoping to get to vote for you. If you're in a highly Republican area, they're already believing a good portion of the bullshit you've been feeding them. But even in Republican areas, there's a big, strong push to do this. When there is a big enough push... It'll happen. Yeah. I mean, this is all face-saving. I mean, some of these guys, I'm sure, believe what they're saying. Other guys say, hey, let's keep... Yeah. Let's keep... Let's keep our taxes and let's let the rich people run shit and everything else will be fine. Some people, I'm sure, believe that. Well, you already see some of the Republicans saying, with the whole Grover Norquist thing, it's like, no, I'm not married to that. Right. Well, they're trying... They're already setting the stage for when they have to give in somewhat, which is a good reason why I think Obama set this first offer was not exactly 50-50. So now you're not starting at that bullshit middle area and then negotiating down to where they want. Right. It's funny because Peggy Noonan wrote an article and that was in the Wall Street... Noonan. Noonan wrote in the Wall Street Journal, why can't Obama just give us what we want? Because you fucking lost. Right. Yeah. They have a hard time understanding that. They rejected your idea that everybody should just worship the rich. I'm sorry, Peggy. Yeah, well, that's like the same people... You had some Republicans after the election who were like, okay, all right. It's clear that the American people have supported the Republican ideas on taxes. Yeah, I keep seeing that. How do you... This was a referendum on Obamacare. They were big on that when they won the... Yeah. The midterm. The midterm election. Now that Obama has won, they go, well, let's still fight everything that he ran on. No, it's just... It's beyond a dysfunctional group of guys now. Yeah. Running things. It is tough. But until... Like I say, these guys, number one, unfortunately, for most people in Congress, for almost all of them, until they decide they're not running again, is to get reelected. And so until there is enough of a push for these people to go, I need to do this to get reelected, they're going to keep serving their best interest. Yeah, that's why Obama's not on the campaign. That's why he's on the trail. All right, let's move on. Yes, let's move on to a deadly fire in a garment factory in Bangladesh killed 112 workers last week. Back here, Walmart is coincidentally selling slightly singed khaki shorts for 75% off. Let's listen to this from ABC News. New details are surfacing about that fire at a clothing factory in Bangladesh that killed 112 people. Three factory officials have now been arrested, accused of locking the doors, trapping workers inside. The few who survived say they were told to ignore the fire alarm and get back to work. The factory is owned by a company that supplies retailers in the U.S., including Walmart, Sears, and our parent company, Disney. And that woman was fired. Okay, so there is... Now... Do you like the new Princess Flame costume? I got you. So this factory, garment factory, in Bangladesh, it is... 300 workers have died in garment factory fires since 2006 in that area. Other than China, it's the fastest growing garment industry. And basically, here's the problem. It was a factory. It's obviously not here, but it does make a lot of stuff for American companies. This specific place that burned, the only American company that they know of as of now that knew in advance that it had dangerous conditions was Walmart. Walmart is defending itself by saying, we broke off that actual... relationship with them, then went through a third party who went back to them. Yeah, okay, sure. You apparently... If this was not in your best interest, you probably would have found that out in advance. However, it's cheaper. I don't know about the people locking people into the building. That seems a little ridiculous. On the plus side, there is a great new TV show. World's Deadliest Stitch. You know what? For you, not bad. Not bad. I mean, usually he's got the dead jokes. He's got great jokes, but the death jokes... Not usually, yeah. Well, this reminds me of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire, in New York, in the early 1900s. This is what this reminds you of? Well, in that... How can anything remind you of that? You were older than I thought. I look a lot better than you'd think for my age. But that's actually what started the International Garment Workers Union, was this particular fire, and it was kind of the same conditions. It was a sweatshop, and a bunch of people burned to death, and people kind of went, no, this shit's not going to truck anymore. And this is why I wanted to talk about this for a few minutes, was exactly what you just said. This is... The whole argument, of you need to get rid of unions, is this is why unions popped up in the first place. People were dying at work. You have... Yeah, you have thousands of people now over in Bangladesh, which I don't know how much this is going to help, are protesting. Because these conditions... For better wages and conditions. Yes. And now, now I will say this. I understand that there is an element, and this is where the Catch-22 for me comes in, or at least you need some gray area. I understand you need a union to be able to help support and fight for better conditions and better wages. And things along those lines. There are other... Which is always why you said, when you bring up unions or someone complains about a union, be specific. When you're complaining about regulations, be specific. Because there are unions that do shit that's just protecting their people, whether it's right or wrong. That drives me nuts. There should still be an element of yes, you're defending your people, but an element of right or wrong, a feeling of right or wrong should play a role in it. And I give an example, is AARP. AARP says, no, you shouldn't, I don't care. I don't care how many old people drive into a freaking farmer's market. They shouldn't have to take a test. Stop being ageist. I'm not being ageist. I'm being realistic. You know, there's certain things you get players unions in sports who go, no testing. We don't want any testing until they have no choice. They figure, well, we'll fight it until we can use it as a bargaining chip. That's when unions go wrong. Well, like in anything, you have people in power, you get the corruption and it can go too far. Look, if unions get, you know, the pensions are too high, salaries, whatever, it can work counterproductively. But yeah, you deal with the particular issues that are bad, not the existence of a union. You can't demonize the idea that workers collecting together is a bad thing because it generally is not. And it's always because management has somehow rat fucked them. Exactly. Left to their own devices. We've talked about it with regulations. It's like a company will pollute unless they're told they can't. And even if they're told they can't, they'd rather pay the small fine than to be in a union. Right. Do anything about it. Yes. And sometimes it's worth it to pay an immense amount in lobbying fees to hope that you can get someone elected who will change that law in your favor. But I mean, yes, that is what we were talking about earlier was with regulations. It's be specific because I'm sure there are regulations that should not be there or old or outdated. It can be over-regulated. Absolutely. But regulations and unions didn't, they weren't here and then industry built around it. You know, people were getting screwed over and they needed a way to, to, to band together. Food needed to not kill you. Yeah. Well, there's that. There is, there is that. All right. We're going to move on to sports. And before we get to what we were going to talk about, which is the Hall of Fame ballot and the 49ers QB switch, there was a tragedy that we're going to start with. So we're going to start our sports section with what happened yesterday in a strange Oliver Stone-like moment. A 25-year-old linebacker for the Kansas City Chiefs, Javon Belcher, shot and killed his girlfriend and drove to Arrowhead Stadium and shot himself in the head just a few times. Just a few feet from his coach and GM. He went there. He thanked them both for letting him play for the Chiefs. And then while they tried to talk him into it, he shot himself in the head as the cops pulled up. There's not a lot of other information going on. He was only 25. He and his girlfriend had a three-month-old daughter who is now obviously in some other family custody. And I mean, horrible tragedy. They played the game today, which was the question. Didn't they win? They did win. Yeah. They did win. Their second win. The story's not all bad. Well, that's, you see, those are the death jokes of what just happened. Now, that being said. Okay, officially, too soon. Too soon? Yeah. It's been like an hour. I did, to his defense, I did have to get online to see whether I lost any points for a murder-suicide in my fantasy league. But I'm not, I'm not happy about that either. I'm going to hell for just sitting next to you too close. I'll save you a seat. All right. And I feel shitty. I feel shitty even saying that. So let's go over to baseball's Hall of Fame Ballet. The lighter side of sports. 2013 Baseball Hall of Fame Ballet came out this week. And if there's an All Steroids Hall of Fame, by the way, these guys would definitely be in it. Unfortunately, there's not. So most of these guys are basically going to have to buy a ticket to get into the Hall of Fame. This is the Balco Hall of Fame, correct? Oh, I'm sorry, baseball. My mistake. Let's, so whether or not, basically, Bonds, Clemens, and Sammy Sosa have just shown up on the Hall of Fame Ballet. Let's listen to this from ESPN. Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and Sammy Sosa are all on this year's Baseball Hall of Fame Ballet for the very first time. And now, many are asking, do players suspected of steroid use deserve to be on the ballot? I think that they are going to have, they are going to be fighting Deidre's last fight in the contrast to the later one is going to be better than usually. And how do you think that helps her chances tonight? Well, the match lasted about up until the particular inaccuracy, particular unusually, that should be the ultimate, determinate factor in about the 12-round experience hot of a champion margarine hat. Margarine hat. Who says steroids are bad for you? They are not harmful. Oh, you know who didn't make the list and I'm sorry didn't? Bane. Who? Bane? Forget having all the steroids. He's the one I would vote for. For anyone who didn't recognize, I would kill the ball. For anyone who didn't recognize that fantastic voice at the end, that was the boxing announcer from Family Guy. He was, I love him. Anybody who ends Margarine hat. Anybody that ends a speech with margarine hat is a winner in my book. All right, so Bonds, Clemens, Sosa, we're talking about the most dominant hitter in our generation, the most dominant pitcher in our generation. Probably, at this point, they basically took a vote. I mean, the final vote is not in for the ballot, but the Associated Press took a vote of the baseball writers and it looks like none of them are going to get anywhere close. They all failed to get at least 50%. And you need 75%. None of them got 50% even. I don't think you, I don't even see why that's a question. Okay, so here's a question. You just took Pete Rose before Barry Bonds into the hall? Yes. Well, I think Pete, personally, I think Pete Rose has to be in there and mentioned because you're ignoring history that he has the most hits ever. Right. I think he should not be allowed to benefit from it financially. He should not be allowed to work financially in any way, shape, or form for Major League Baseball. But to just pretend he wasn't there and didn't do it is ridiculous. What Pete Rose did, though, did not affect the integrity of the game. It did. No, not the integrity of the game. His personal accomplishment. No, his personal, that's what I'm saying. His personal accomplishment is there. That should be mentioned. Him being kicked out of the game, I have no problems with. You broke rule number one in your rule book. Absolutely. But to ignore the fact that he's there of what he has done is ridiculous. Yeah, but those other guys took steroids, which, which directly affected their ability to hit the ball. Yes, but now, yes, and I don't, I don't disagree, well, except Clemens, who had affected his ability to not get hit, I guess, because he's a pitcher, seven times young award winner. Right. But two, and let me play devil's advocate here because obviously I pretty much agree with both you guys anyway, but if you're Bonds, if you're Clemens, and to a lesser extent if you're Sosa, because I don't always understand what he is saying, you're going to say, you're basically going to say, hey, I'm not, I haven't been found guilty of anything. You guys can give me all the implications and all the, you know, all the shady evidence, all the circumstantial evidence you want, but I'm not guilty of anything. I'm sorry, Mr. Bonds, you dropped your syringe. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson, you dropped your knife, but still, I don't, yeah, I mean, how can you, shrink your head will reconsider. If you can get back into a seven and a half hat size, you're in. Now, now, I have here, I have some, some of the writers that have, that have talked about whether or not they should be in. Obviously, a couple of them are saying, you know, no one would say, this guy says, no one would say that Bonds should not be in or that Clemens should not be in, quote, except they cheated, all of them. And this Hall of Fame is not just about numbers. The six criteria for, three of the six criteria for election to Cooperstown are sportsmanship, integrity, and character. Bonds, Stokes, and Clemens fail in all three accounts. That was from one reporter. Okay. However, from Tom Lovero, that was. However, somebody from San Fran gave the opposite view. His view was, was look, Hall of Fame character clause should already be stricken because it's bullshit. You can't make baseball a church. You got guys like Cy Young who are, or Ty Cobb. Yeah, Ty Cobb, who was a horrible person. You have all sorts of people who, you know, were not good people. And he says, whether it's gambling, scuffing the baseball, corking the bat, steroids, amphetamines, people have been cheating for years. They always do it. He says, basically, his, his test is, are you one of the best players in your era? That's it. That's his test. And this would be known as the steroid era. Yes. So, I mean, if you're facing Clemens and Clemens is on, Clemens is juiced. So, you're juiced. That would be the argument. Jon Stewart, I think, had a great, he wrapped it up almost in a single line. He said, look, if you told me there was a pill I could take and I'd make 400 times what I'm making now, fucking A, I'd be eating those. I'd be eating them like chili beans, for God's sakes. I eat disgusting shit that doesn't do that to me. So, yes. Yes, you are a runts head. Yeah. I don't know if the audience knows that, runts. Hey, hey, sugar shaped like healthy stuff is good for me. All right, you're a Niners fan, so let's talk about that. The 49ers, who had a winning record, were they 7-2 and 1 before today? Yes. And they have basically benched their quarterback who got a concussion. Alex Smith got a concussion. He brought them, basically, from one turnover away, which wasn't his turnover last year from going to the Super Bowl. Yeah, he 14-2 last year. He was 14-2. How about this for a stat? He's 21-6-1 in his last 28 starts. I know. I know. 21-6-1 in his last 28 starts. He is the fifth highest ranked quarterback this season, and he got a concussion, and they benched him and replaced him with last year's second round pick. And Kepernick is, is doing well. He did very well. He came in, he came in, to spell him when Smith got hurt, and then he started the next week when Smith was still not fully recovered, and he's a mobile quarterback. He seemed way more, Smith has managed the game fantastically. Right. And his numbers have been great. As a matter of fact, the previous week, he won, that before getting his concussion, he won Offensive Player of the Year and set a record for going 18 of 19 in the previous game. Right. However, he gets hurt. They bring in a guy who seems to have more athletic ability, and maybe not the history, but, or the experience, but more offensive upside. And he's got, he's got a stronger arm. Yes, he definitely has a stronger arm. Much faster arm. Smith relies on his defense and a running game, and then he, you know, short, accurate passes. Colin Kepernick, who they replaced him with, can get out of the pocket, he can run fast, and he can throw deep. Oh, yeah. But, as a Niners fan, do you have a problem getting rid, or benching your 21-6-1 starter? No. Because I'm also a Giants fan. I don't have, a problem benching a two-time Cy Young a winner if he's not doing his job. That is the San Francisco Giants, not the New York Giants. I understand that. I understand. It wasn't football, so I didn't know if you got confused. I understand that. I just don't care. Yeah, see? Poor Drew's eyes are glazing over. He's starting to drool a little. I think that was all still from the show before. No. What are you sitting on? Are you sitting on the Smurf fan? Did she leave something from here? You're Smurfing it up. So, I mean, so you don't have a problem. As a Niners fan, you're fine with them. No, it's whatever makes the team win, and that's the same thing that I would have said for the San Francisco Giants. You know, what do you do at the end of the day? Do you get a W? Well, let me ask you this. You're Alex Smith. You're in a locker room. Let me quote him right here as saying, I feel like the only thing I did to lose my job was get a concussion. Yeah. That is what he said. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like, you know, Harbaugh said, you suck. He's the best quarterback in the league. Right. Right. You got your bill. No, he can't be happy, though. And you brought him. Of course he's not. I got news for you. Well, I don't know if they can trade him, but he won't want to be there next year if he doesn't play the season. No. No, no. And there's plenty of teams that can use him. Absolutely. His only chance of staying with San Fran, I would think, unless they don't let him out of his contract or don't trade him, is basically if by, between now and the playoffs or in the playoffs, if Kaepernick just shits all over himself. If he has a horrible game and they have to go back to Alex Smith. Right. And Alex does well. Right. They couldn't do it the other way. Don't see it happening. I don't see it happening. I don't either. I do give the coach an immense amount of credit because this is a move that if it backfires, if he stays with Alex Smith and Alex Smith fails, he's safe. The coach is safe as far as his decision of being second guest because you can go, this guy brought us here last year. We stayed with him. Now we can try somebody new. But going here and changing this late in the season to a guy who has never started before two weeks ago, you're putting yourself up to be second guest and I at least can appreciate the ballsiness of that. And here's the thing. Even if, let's say, they go to the playoffs, they play this guy and he starts doing badly later and then they put in Alex Smith and Alex Smith doesn't do well, you can completely blame it on the fact that he got rusty because he wasn't in there playing. Right. So he's going to look, the coach is going to, you know, be demonized either way if they don't win. Yeah, that is true. I like the fact that he was not afraid to put himself out there and make the ballsy decision. All right, let's get to headlines. Extra, extra, read all about it. Extra, extra, extra, read all about it. I want to shoot that kid. He is. That kid's 114 years old right now. Kevin Clash, the former voice of Sesame Street's Elmo and sadly is constantly in the show now, is wishing he was more like Snuffleupagus right now so nobody but Big Bird can see him. After a third man has now come forward to accuse him of having sex with a minor. Apparently the, the letter of the day is M for molestation. Yeah, could you please show us on the Elmo doll where Mr. Clash is? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I just touched you. Um, this kid said, uh, Clash met him in a gay chat line. Now, there's a couple weird things. Don't get me wrong. This kid was underage. So if he was underage, you know, there is a crime. Don't get me wrong. But this kid was 16, said Clash met him in a, uh, in a gay chat line, quote, where I specifically stated my intention was non-sexual. Who goes on a gay chat line for non-sexual contact? But then visited him in New York. What kind of music do you like? Yeah, and then let me go visit you in New York so we can talk in person about what I don't want to touch. Like, none of that makes any sense. That doesn't, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. That being said, the kid's 16. You can't do it. I don't care what the hell, what the hell he wants to do. You can't do it. And what 16-year-old kid can just take off to go to New York? That's a good, that's a good question. This kid. Um, I don't understand what, I mean, I'm sure he had a fine home life. The gay ones. Kevin Clash should have just tried to have a three-way with Bert and Ernie. They seem up for it. Hello. Uh, Angus T. Jones, the formerly fat kid from Two and a Half Men, has decided to follow in the footsteps of Charlie Sheen, a good role model, and publicly trash the show that is making him rich. He is not following in the steps of Charlie Sheen in, in most ways. No. No, no. Like, he's doing the whole Pentecostal, I'm, I'm, I'm finding Jesus, which I don't think you're seeing a lot of that with Charlie Sheen. Seventh Day Adventist. Yes, Seventh Day Adventist. Um, is it sad that I liked Charlie's drug-fueled craziness over this guy's religion-fueled craziness? You don't like any religion-fueled craziness. That's, that's not sad. That's just good taste. Yeah. that's nice. One's entertaining. Um, so this guy, for anyone who doesn't know, uh, the kid who plays, uh, the kid from Two and a Half Men who plays Jake Harper basically did an interview, a 15-minute sit-down with Christopher Hudson who is with which church, Jeff? Uh, Seventh Day Adventist. Okay, so he, that guy has an online show and part of this, most of the, most of this was this kid just talking about the religion, but at one point in time, he, he said, uh, about his character. He's a non-existent character. Please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I'm on Two and a Half Men and I don't want to be on it. Yeah, he says it's filth and it's poisoning your mind. I got news for you, Angus. You don't want to be on the show? Got it. You got it, fat boy. Yeah, he said, it's bad news. A lot of people don't know, formerly fat boy, a lot of people don't like to think about how deceptive the enemy is. The enemy, I believe he says, is Lucifer, uh, who apparently, who apparently is paying him $350,000 for, for hours an episode. Yeah, exactly. Is that another one of Chuck Lorre's nicknames? It is, it is, if you ask Charlie Sheen. I get so tired of that stuff. It's like, if you don't want to do it, stop taking the money, stop taking the adulation, you know, you don't, go away and people will stop bothering you a couple hours from now. That is, that is, yeah, yeah, no, he is, he is definitely planning for his future where nobody gives a shit about him. According to scientist Melba Ketchum, a five-year DNA study has revealed the legendary creature Bigfoot is real. What? Of course, somebody should do a DNA test to find out what the hell a Melba Ketchum is, but according to her, she has a five-year test of 109 samples, including hair, blood, and tissue, and she is claiming Bigfoot is a hybrid of a human with an unknown species that arose 15,000 years ago. Shockingly, this is all still under peer review before it becomes official. How does Melba have any peers? I mean, this woman is doing cutting edge squash research. She's toast. She is. That's well done. Let's move on from that one. Oh, he would pick a pun, would pick a pocket. In our surprisingly continuing segment, Don't Mess With the Low Hand, Lindsay Lohan shows off her range by being charged in both LA and New York for a crime on Thursday. She got into a spat with a woman at Club Avenue in Manhattan and punched the woman in the face. The woman now hired Gloria Allred, which immediately makes me want her to lose the case. And the woman that she hit, by the way, was a psychic who should have seen it coming. No? No. Yeah, no, I hear you. And at the same time, she also got charged in LA for six months ago when she got into a car crash and blamed her assistant, said her assistant was driving. Cops believe she lied. Federal bankruptcy judge in New York has approved the liquidation of hostess. Wait a second. I gotta, I just gotta say this. You got Lindsay? I gotta say this about Lindsay. Lindsay, darling, if you're listening, be happy you are who you are because if you were a young black man, you'd be in fucking prison by now. That is true. Literally with the F. Yeah. Federal bankruptcy judge in New York has approved the liquidation of hostess, which does sound delicious, but also approved an almost $1.8 million bonuses in bonuses for executives. You want to know what was wrong with hostess? Apparently when you're successful enough to run your company into bankruptcy, you've earned yourself a bonus. That's it. 18,500 jobs gone, 33 bakeries closed, 565 distribution centers closed, 1.8 million in bonuses. Nice. That's ridiculous. The internet was abuzz this week when a mom posted a pic of her baby daughter, hashtag Jameson, showing once again that parents will ruin their kids' lives if it makes them seem clever. Yeah, but you know what? I mean, 30 years ago, there was probably a bunch of kids named Hash Oil, so really. Somebody in Egypt recently named their daughter Facebook as a tribute to what helped spring the Arab revolution. Drew, if you have a kid, you can name them YouPorn. Jizz Hut Drew Marks. Jizz Hut Marks? Is that her name? It is now. You know my mom listens. Your mom's a woman. Nobody listens to me. No woman listens to me. And love. No woman cares. And love can be a painful thing. Just ask Halle Berry's fiance, Oliver Martinez, Olivier Martinez, who injured his hand by repeatedly smacking it into her ex-boyfriend's face. Gabriel Aubrey is in custody, is in a custody battle with Halle Berry and got into a fight with her fiance while dropping off their kid. I don't know if, did you guys see pictures of this? You showed me. Oh my God, this guy, he looks like Stallone at the end of Rocky. This guy's face. He looked like a raccoon. It was awesome. Good grief. So do you think this is all a delayed reaction to getting your ass kicked by David Justice or is that joke's too late? No. It's not too soon. It's the opposite. It's too late. The interesting thing is when you're referring to a baseball player who retired a decade ago, you and I love it. But he's in Moneyball. So yes, all right. That is true. And if you're applying to college but you only like partying with other heavily armed drunk people, then man, do we have a college for you. University of Colorado now has a separate dorm for students with concealed carry gun permits. Not only that, but your gun can be your roommate. Because no student has moved into that dorm as of today. Nice. That's just, what a horrible idea. It's like, you can barely keep kids from killing themselves or each other through hazing, but let's throw in some guns. Yeah, because ready access to alcohol and poor decision making aren't going to be a problem with a firearm in the mix. Unbelievable. Kiss, kiss, bang, bang. Unbelievable. All right. So it's time for What is Wrong with People? Good Lord. Jeff, who's your dude? Issue of the week. Louie Gohmert, Republican representative from Texas who claims that Obama is secretly connected to the Muslim Brotherhood. Yeehaw, Louie. Nice. We don't need any evidence for that, do we? No, no. Louie doesn't need any evidence for anything he's said so far. Nice. That sounds nice. Drew, what do you got? Boy Scouts of America. Oh, they're back. Again? Oh, man. Because it's just been recently, you know, exposed that they fought. Right. They were against, against doing background checks for volunteers, you know, to find out if they were sex offenders because they said it would just give a false sense of security and it would dissuade volunteers. It's like, yeah, it would dissuade the people with records for being child molesters. Yeah, it might dissuade those guys. No background check because people who would fail the background check may not want to show up. Right. Nice. That's good logic. That is good logic. And you, Mr. August, who's your douche of the week? I'm going to have to go with Jonah. And no, no, no, it's not a person. It is a group. It is a group. Hill. Oh. It is, not him either. It is actually a group that they pray the gay away group. Oh dear. But that they deal mostly with or solely with Orthodox Jews, which is, which is, I guess you, I don't know how you do that. But besides that being obviously a ridiculous pseudoscience, if you believe so much in God, why in the world does God need you to fix somebody he made? I don't understand it. Check and mate, Mr. August. Have a great week, everybody. We'll see you next Sunday. Bye.