Episode

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hello, everybody. Welcome, welcome from Skid Row Studios. To Chickster's Nest. Yes, it's 11 a.m. Today's March the 3rd, 2012. Direct in 6D, where you don't have to wear glasses and only get blurred visions, headaches, and nausea. Yes, welcome, everybody, to Chickster's Nest. The insane in the membrane. The insane in the membrane. I'm insane. I'm insane. I'm insane. I'm insane. I'm insane. I'm insane. I'm insane. I'm insane. I'm insane in the membrane. I'm your host. You got it. I'm the Chickster. I'm your host. It's like scraping toast. I'm up here. It's time to get the beefsteak and rump roast pounded. Live from the lavish Skid Row Studios in downtown slum mania. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm just kidding. I'm from downtown Skid Row Studios. I'm from downtown Skid Row Studios in the heart of town. Welcome, welcome. I'm not crazy. I'm not nuts. I'm not Looney Tunes. I'm just insane in the membrane. I'm insane in the membrane. I'm insane in the membrane. Yes, Chickster, my friends, is insane in the membrane. And I just want you to know that I really care about you guys out there. Welcome chipmunks, pimps, chimps, shrimps, and constituents. The sewing club of America. Hello, lesbians, thesbians, and naked planetarians. Hello to Manny Moe and Jack. Have a snack. The shaveless pussy club in Redondo Beach. The brass balls society in Pismo Beach. The Chinatown chicken choking club. Hello, blowtorch club in Santa Monica. The penis envy club in Beverly Hills. And welcome the Mustang Sally and Mustang Ranch Club in Nevada. Hello, pencil neck geeks and freaks. Hello, airplane enthusiasts and TWA. T-W-A-T. What did you say? Hello, snatch club in Cincinnati. Hello to pool hustlers, straight balls and crack balls. Hello, gerbilists and snakes, lizards. The Bates Masters Club in North Hollywood. The Shrinky Dog Pinky Club in Hollywood. Hello, gays, strays, Frito-Lays. Hello, granny goose. Hello to all the moose. Lions Club, fart club in Alhambra. The Yankee Spanky Club in Brooklyn, New York. The Crooked Penis and Dice Club in Nevada. Hello to the Hawaiian Lay Club and all the flowers of mankind and blooming idiots. Hello, grandmas with dildos. Hello, grandpas with vibrators. You know, folks, the Chickster is here and I spent many years in an insane asylum. I love the place. I should have been called peanut butter. Because I'm half nuts. Hello to the Glee and Pee Club. The Plain and F'n Ugly Club. Skid Row Studios was built with integrity. Spit and gum, cardboard, soda pop cans, beer bottles, wine bottles, orange juice containers, marbles and cork balls and sweat. I'm insane in the membrane. I'm insane in the membrane. I'm telling you, I'm telling you. I'm insane in the membrane. I'm insane in the membrane. You're listening to Chickster's. Nest. And if you're going to the playground, I want you to check out some balls. Yes, you've come to the right place, folks. I love you. I love you. I love you. Yes, welcome to Chickster's Nest. I might be crazy, but I'm not insane. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again for Fractured Stories. Excuse me. A boxer dog with an uncommon name of Rover was sniffing dishes. That were left over from the night before. Just before the lazy Floyd Hubbard finally put them away. But something strange was going on. Rover was staring at one dinner plate in particular. And Mr. Floyd Hubbard discovered that, well, his penile shaft is now in denial. You see, old Rover bit off Mr. Floyd's penis. Thinking it to be a... A Vienna sausage. And all Rover could do was smile at Mr. Floyd and give a couple of... But it was too late. Because Mr. Hubbard's penis was on a dinner plate. Unwashed. And Mr. Floyd Hubbard grabbed his crotch and said, Oh my God, I've been unshafted. And he saw tears and stars and put the shriveled up penis into an empty mayonnaise jar. And abruptly and loud he told his wife, I have no bone to pick with you ever again. I'll never ever do the dishes again. I'll use paper plates and I'll get a fake penis. I'm leaving you. I'm out of here. So long. As Mrs. Hubbard... She cried. She cried and cried. And... Oh, I'd say about... Three to five minutes. And then the boxer dog named Rover said that he'd like another bone. So old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog, Rover, a bone. And when she bent over, old Rover turned over for he had a bone of his own. And all Mother Hubbard could say was... Was... Was this.! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. homes that are rented so i have invented my own darling this place is a lover's oasis where life's weary chases unknown far from the cry of the city where flowers pretty caress the streams cozy to hide in to live side by side in so let us abide in our dreams picture you upon my knee just t for two and two for tea me for you and you for me alone nobody near us to hear us or see us no friends or relations on weekend vacation we won't have it known that we own a telephone dear they will break and you awake and I'll start to bake a little sugar cake for me to take for all the boys to see we will raise a family a boy for you a girl for me oh can't you see how happy we will be we will raise a family a boy for you and a little girl for me oh can't you see how happy we oh can't you see how happy we can't you see how happy we would be Louis Prima and Keely Smith tea for two and don't forget horses and goats grannies eating oats what do you say grandpas tumbling in the hay gerbilists boozers hipsters potsters and gargoholics after today's news it'll be time to hear from our astrological forecaster and storyteller the one and only Una Moon Schickster's insane in the membrane you know that I'm on Schickster's nest here in Skid Row Studios in downtown Los Angeles and I'm very happy so you folks stay tuned and here's news to you kiddo it's about time for up to the minute last second news hello to all my feeble brains from the great metropolis to Los Angeles a city that doesn't sleep and Charlie Chaplin never made a peep and the Hollywood sign would be an honor to keep and on the freeways the traffic creeps and the Angelenos beep bunch of honkies and flash this just in thanks for nothing an ambulance was called by the aid of Rupert Ritchie who was lying injured outside a road just outside of Odell Illinois today at 1030 AM as it arrived to the scene an ambulance skidded on the snow pavement runway and then struck and killed Rupert and another breathtaking story due to bad weather Reseda Hills, California heavy rain a condom truck skids on wet pavement burning out all four rubbers and the driver spills a load and then he hits the wall and the paparazzi asks the driver Eddie Haskell who only suffered from a broken penile shaft a few simple questions the paparazzi wanted to know if they can take pictures the driver said no effing way and said to the paparazzi do you know why cameras are like condoms because they both capture the moment and that's the way it is and what's worse and what's worse what's worse what's worse what's worse what's worse In a field of white And stars fell on Alabama Last night I can't forget the glamour Your eyes held a tender light And stars fell on Alabama Last night Oh, what a season I never planned in my imagination Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog A situation so heavenly. A fairyland where no one else could enter. And in the center, just you and me, dear. My heart beat like a hammer. My arms wound around you tight. And stars fell on Alabama last night. I never planned my imagination. A situation so heavenly. A fairyland where no one else could enter. And in the center, just you and me, dear. My heart beat like a hammer. Beat like a hammer. My arms wound around you tight. My arms wound around you tight. And stars fell on Alabama last night. Hello, everyone. This is Una Moons. I'm your friendly astrological forecaster on behalf of the Chickster's Nest podcast here at Skid Row Studios in Los Angeles, California. I would like to give all of you Pisces a special St. Patrick's Day prediction. There's something wonderful and special about doing exactly what you expected to be doing. Feeling like you are in control will bring you great happiness. Aries and Libra people adore you. Your lucky numbers are 30, 2, 12, 25, and 40. Now, a few words about my little friends, the leprechauns. As legends say, every leprechaun has a pot of gold hidden in a secret place. And if captured, he must give up his golden treasure. Of course, it's quite difficult to catch a leprechaun. They are especially tricky and can often turn themselves into rabbits or squirrels to fool you into thinking they are something they aren't. When they are caught, however, they often trick their captor into looking away for a split second so that they can make their escape into the woods. One tale is told of an Irish gentleman after much searching and effort captured one of the wee folk. After much coaxing, the Irishman finally persuaded the leprechaun to take him to the very bush where his treasure of gold is. The leprechaun was caught and the treasure of gold was buried. It is said that the man quickly tied a red bandana to a branch on the bush and hurried home to fetch a shovel. When he returned a short time later to dig up his treasure, a red bandana had been fastened to every bush in the forest. Leprechauns love to play tricks on people, causing them to drop or spill things. They often hide keys and other belongings just to frustrate us. So next time you lose a possession that you swear should be right where you left it, don't be surprised if it's the only some silly little leprechaun having played a funny trick on you to pass the time. All is green on Paddy's day. He's a bit of a mess, but it's a mystery. All we know is his hat is green. On the emerald aisle, we still like to smile. That big old recession won't cause no depression. We'll always have our pride. Have a special green day today and every day in March. And don't forget to put your zip code on all the posts. All the mail you send. Zippity-doo-dah, zippity-ay. My, oh, my, what a wonderful day. Plenty of sunshine coming your way. Zippity-doo-dah, zippity-ay. Now back to the chickster who's insane in the membrane. Oh, excuse me, excuse me. I was gargling away my membrane. You know, I'm crazy in the membrane. I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazy. I'm telling you, I can't take... I can't take this anymore. No, no, no, I'm not. I gotta tell you guys, I'm sane or you wouldn't listen to me, right? Right? I do have some of my marbles, don't I? Don't I? Huh? Tell me! Okay, okay. I have a peewee of a brain. Okay, okay. And now, strays and gays, ladies and gentilia, lesbos, thesbos, ladies and germs, dicks and pricks, people living in the sticks, ball people, mall people, and that's all, folks. Lesbians, thesbians, librarians and planetarians, grannies with dildos and grandpas with snake tongues. And hello to all waldos and chicken-hated gizzards and gerbilists with lizards. Skid Row Radio in downtown Los Angeles, direct from Chickster's Nest, bringing it all to you. Skid Row Studios, ladies and gentlemen, proudly presents our melodrama from your place, on the toilet, to the sewer, to the high seas. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, yes, proudly, I am talking about the greatest ship in the world to never sail the universe. And now it's time for The Crypanic!! Captain! Captain! Captain! Call me by my right name, lad. You can call me by my right name as well, sir. What on heaven's earth is your name? Pud. Originally, it was Puddington and shortened by my father, Wesley, to Pudding. And everybody at school made fun of me, so I shortened it to Pud. I'll go beat your Pud. Oh, Captain! Captain! Captain! I'll say it again. Please, call me by my right name. What name, sir? Captain Abercrombie. Now, what's your beef, young man? I'm a vegetarian, sir. Oh, horseshit! Now, I can eat that because it's vegan. Be serious, Pud. Don't be a smartass. Tell me, Captain, do you think we'll make it through the Dead Seas? We'll get there quicker than you can say Dead Rabbit. What about the Seven Seas? Cheap, crusty, crappy, cardboard, challenge, catastrophe, and, uh, uh, uh, oh, you got it, uh, curtains! Yes! You certainly have a sense of dead humor, sir. Would I really want to know? Yes, go on. Well, well, I want to ask you this, Captain. Is the Crypatic Sea worthy? Listen to me, Pud. It's about dignity and respect. Before I ever accepted the job being a sea captain, I, uh, called over the Chief, Executive Officer of the Crypatic, and, uh, point-blankly, I asked him if the ship was sea-worthy. He cleared his throat, and he said with a lisp, it's unthinkable. That's a sign of indigestion. I mean relief, Captain. Oh, don't worry yourself, silly. Do you realize the Crypatic is the one and only ship in the world, built like this, made with spittin' gum, made with Wrigley's chewing gum, and the hull of the ship is made with tungsten steel razor blades from the good folks at the Gillette Razor Safety Company. The engine room was designed by the grandparents of Manny, Moe, and Jack, known as the Pep Boys, fixtures provided to us by the 88-cent-only stores, and guests aboard the ship get a crunchy chocolate chip cookie under their pillow, along with a Bible, a granny pistol. And now, lad, are there any other questions? I'm afraid you'll have to hurry. I have a do-or-die meeting coming up. Yes, sir. I ordered a Coca-Cola a little while ago, and you see, it was lukewarm. Ah! Ah! Ah! Shiver me timbers! Shiver me timbers! Ah! The whole ship is out of control! Ah! Ah! Give it up! Give it up! It's over! It's over! Can't even get a fuckin' cracker on this sinkhole! Ah! Ah! Ah! What was that, Captain Abercrombie and Fitch? The spirit of a dead bird. Should have been the spirit of St. Louis. Sink or swim! In which direction should I go, sir? Downward. Thanks for your opinion, Captain. Kind sir. Pud, you better beat it, and have a good stroke of luck. Indeed, I'm very grateful that we had a heartwarming conversation. Goodbye, Captain Abercrombie. Goodbye, Pud. All hands on deck! I said, all hands on deck! For the last time, all hands on deck! Ah! Ah! I give up! I give up! It's sink or swim! Sink or swim! Ah! Ah! Sink or swim! It doesn't matter anymore! It's over! It's over! Ah! Ah! Ah! Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! Gentlemen, this meeting shall commence immediately! Right on! Right now! Let's go! Ahem! I have some good news, and I'm afraid I have some bad news. What do you gentlemen aboard the Crypanic want to hear first? Aha! The good news! Ah, yes! The good news! We'll get eleven Oscars! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was the Crypanic. First, it was a tragedy. Now, it's much happiness with much joy. Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Being stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness. Though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every season. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. Now a couple of wonderful poems by the late Shel Silverstein. Where the Sidewalk Ends There is a place where the sidewalk ends and before the street begins, and there the grass grows soft and white, and there the sun burns crimson bright, and there the moonbird rests from his flight to cool in the peppermint wind. Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black and the dark street winds and bends. Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow, we shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow, and watch where the chalk white arrows go, to the place where the sidewalk ends. Yes, we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow, and we'll go where the chalk white arrows go. For the children they mark, and the children they know, the place where the sidewalk ends. An Invitation If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax golden tails to spin. Come in, come in. And speaking of invitation, I would like to invite you all to sing along with me this happy little tune. Oobla Dee, Oobla Dah, Life goes on. La, la, la, la, life goes on. Oobla Dee, Oobla Dah, Life goes on. La, la, la, la, life goes on. Until next time, this is Una Moon signing off. Live, laugh, and be happy. Remember to follow the rainbow, and follow your dreams. Your pot of gold will be awaiting. Now back to the chickster, insane in the membrane. I'm insane in the membrane! These flies are killing me around here! Gotcha! Oh boy, I tell you folks, I see flies in front of me. First I saw spots last night. Now I saw silverfish in my rug last night. Now I saw silverfish in my rug last night. Now I got- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Oh boy. Sorry folks, sorry. Did you hear about the fly in the toilet seat that got pissed off? Yucky pucky flies! Flies talk about the good life. A female fly spends 40% of her time doing absolutely nothing. Just hanging out daydreaming. Another 30% of her time is spent on the up chucking all over the sippical things. She's about to eat all kinds of junk and she spends time sucking up the pucked up mess. Oh, and just a little added fun, flies pee every five minutes. And to think that a fly has done all that and peed on your picnic lunch. Here are some facts about the fly. A fly responds to light 10 times faster than we do, alerting to it to the dangers of rolled up newspapers that you're about to swat it with. As they fast like devils too, their wings beat about 180 times a second. Try flapping your arms that fast. Scientists know that more than a hundred times a second, flies are faster than you think. They're faster than you think. As they fly through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through the air and through different types of flies out there. Most are unidentified. Flies fly, fly. They fly in your face through the laws of gravity. They can scale walls, walk upside down on ceilings, thanks to special glands on their feet that produce a sticky glue-like substance. A fly has bristly hair all over its body, perfect for germs to hide in. The tongue of a fly has a goosey, spongy surface. Mother flies lay 75 to 150 eggs a time a year and hatch 600 to 1,000 babies in a lifetime. One average-sized trash can can serve as many flies as a normal fly. I went to nursery school for 30,000 flies a week. And, you know, time flies when you're having flies. A flea and a fly and a flu were in prison, so what could they do? Said the fly, let us flee, let us fly, said the flea. And they flew through a flaw in the flu. Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Don't worry, sir. The spider in the bread roll will get it. Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup. So what? There's soup on your fly. Waiter, waiter, come here. There's a dead fly in my soup. Must have committed suicide, sir. Waiter, your thumb is in my soup. That's all right, sir. The soup's not that hot. Waiter, there's a fly in my wine. Well, sir, did you ask for something with a little body in it? Oh boy, folks, I'll tell you. I am crazy. My shirt's untucked. My fly is down. My pants are falling. What's wrong with my body? What's wrong with my body? What's wrong with my body? What's wrong with my What's left? What's left? What's left? What's left? Yeah, take it off! Take it off! Another St. Paddy's Day job. Another St. Paddy's Day job. Two guys were sitting at a bar in Dublin when one turned to the other and said, you see that chap over there? Don't you think he looks like me? The man went over to his doppelganger and said, excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you're a dead ringer for me. You're right. You're right. I do look like you. Where are you from? I'm from Dublin. Well, which street are you from? What? Well, I'm from Killfoyle Road. Killfoyle Road. That's incredible, said the man. He said, that's my road, too. What's the number? 76. 76? I don't believe it. Me, too. What are your parents' names? Joe and Kitty. Joe and Kitty. Unbelievable. So are mine. Just then, the bartender changed shifts. Anything happened? Said to the new bartender, nothing much, said the old bartender. Oh, except the Murphy twins are drunk again. Anyway, folks, derelicts, pricks, chicks, dicks out there. You know, Chickster's Nest here on Skid Row Radio. I really am insane in the membrane. You know, how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change. There once was a man named Finnegan. He was a young man who broke out of jail just a sinigin. He broke laws by the dozen, even stole from his cousin. Now the jail he broke out of, he's inigin. There was a young girl from Hong Kong who said, you are utterly wrong to say my vagina is the largest in China just because of your mean little dong. There was a young man from Plumber of Lee who was plumbing a girl by the sea. She said, stop your plumbing. There's somebody coming. Said, the plumber's still coming. It's me. Said, a woman with open delight. My pubic hair is perfectly white. I admit there's a glare, but the fellows don't care. They locate it more quickly at night. And finally, a nymphomaniac named Alice used dynamite to stick for a phallus. They found her vagina in North Carolina and her asshole in the Buckingham Palace. The only thing that I could explain, my friends, is she would have to talk to Mr. Shane. You know, Mr. Shane. Of all the boys I've known, and I've known some, until I've been through her grandpa and grandpa's! Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog Dog All the things that you do to me Bar Mere, Mr. Shane, please let me explain Bar Mere, Mr. Shane, means that you're grand Bar Mere, Mr. Shane, again I'll explain It means you're the fairest in the land I could say Bella, Bella, even say Wunderbar Each language only helps me tell you How grand you are, I've tried to explain Bar Mere, Mr. Prima, so kiss me And say you'll understand Say I'll understand, yes I understand Of all the girls I've known and I've known some Until I met you Until I first met you I was lonesome And when you came in sight dear my heart grew light And this old world seemed new to me Ooh, aye, aye, aye And you're really swell, I must admit you Deserve little Sicilians that really fit you And so I've racked my brain hoping to explain All the things that you do to me Bar Mere, Mr. Shane Please let me explain Bar Mere, Mr. Shane, means that you're grand Bar Mere, Mr. Shane, again I'll explain It means you're the fairest in the land I could say Bella, Bella, even say Wunderbar Each language only helps me tell you how grand you are Bar Mere, Mr. Shane, again I'll explain So kiss me, say you'll understand Yeah, Louie Yeah, Louie Prima and Keeley Smith Haven't you folks heard that this entire week We are celebrating National Preservation Day Decadence Week Keep your assets frozen Don't bend over unless you're Greek Preserve your loved ones Why Marilyn Monroe's ass was saved many, many times Keep your mother-in-law frozen Preserve her in that glass jar And take care of her false teeth as well And Hump Day Wednesdays Nobody says you can't hump on Thursdays Yes, folks, I mean folks, I mean Preserve your loved ones Mommy, can I play in the sandbox? Not until we find a better place to bury Daddy Oh, Mommy, you took Grandma's ashes Did the poor old lady pass away? No, just too damn lazy to use an ashtray You're listening to Chickster On Skid Row Radio This is Chickster's Nest More powerful than a locomotive More powerful than a constipated rooster Or suppository booster Faster than a speeding Jimi Hendrix Able to leap tall buildings up with a boner overbound Look up in the sky Why, it's a turd It's a effin' bird Take my word or else F you It's, it's, it's, it's Superman! Three guys were standing on the roof Of the Empire State Building The first said You know, the wind currents up here in New York are so strong That you can step off the edge of this building And literally float into midair Due to the upward thrust Of the, uh Of the air current You're crazy, said the second guy You don't believe me Here, watch this And with that, the first guy stepped off the edge of the Empire State Building And floated around in midair for thirty seconds And returned safely to the roof That was amazing, said the second guy I've gotta try that And the second guy stepped off the roof But instead of floating, he dropped like a Like a stone to the street More than a thousand feet below Seeing this, the third guy Who had remained silent until then Turned to the first guy and said You know something? There are times When you can be a real asshole, Superman Yes, Superman, you can be a real Asshole Don't know why There's no sun up in the sky Stormy weather Since my man and I ain't together Keeps raining all the time Life is bare Gloom and misery everywhere Stormy weather Just can't get my poor self together I'm weary all the time The time So weary all the time When he went away The blues walked in and met me If he stays away Old rocking chair will get me All I do is pray The Lord above will let me Walk in the sun once more Can't go on without a song I'm weary all the time I'm weary all the time I'm weary all the time I'm weary all the time I'm weary all the time When he went away Can't go on All I have in life is gone Stormy weather Since my man and I ain't together Keeps raining all the time Keeps raining all the time Dog and Dog Dog and Dog Dog and Dog Dog and Dog Dog and Dog Dog and Dog Dog and Dog Love, love, this misery is just too much for me. Can't go on. Everything I had is gone. Stormy weather since my man and I together. Keeps raining all the time. Keeps raining all the time. That was Lena Horne, Stormy Weather. Yes, but... Ladies and gentlemen, you know, I just want to say I am insane in the membrane. I'm a little crazy. I love life and life loves me. I'm as happy as can be. A happier man nowhere exists. I think I'll go and slash my wrist. When you're smiling. Oh, it's so funny. It's miraculously funny to watch the jigsaw. Oh, he's so insane in the membrane. When you're smiling. Yes, when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you. And when you're laughing, you keep on laughing. The sun can't help shining too. When you're crying, you bring on the rose. So keep on crying. What? Would you be happy again? Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh, boy, this is ridiculous. You guys listen to the jigsaw. Oh, he's so... He's so funny. He's so funny. You got to tune in next week. Well, he's not to be here next week. He's to be on vacation two weeks. But I'll tell you something. You guys got to go to the River Festival. The River Festival's going to be here March 10th, next week. Sponsored by Skid Row Studios. Yes. Yes. 1726 North Spring Street. And Chickster will see you there. I'm so excited. I'm tickled pink. Well, I have to go now, you know. I have to say. Goodbye to everybody. You know, you've been listening to the Chickster. Here he is. Chickster, come here. Well, thank you. Thank you very much. This is the Chickster. I want to say that I've enjoyed being with you on this podcast, number six. I want to thank Laramie Jeremy, our chief engineer, who's been wonderful. I want to thank April Havaschankman and Jared Wilson-Whittam for their support. And I want to thank the people who have been doing that fine editing for Cry Panic. And of course, the founder of Skid Row Radios, the man himself. Let's give it up for Jeremy Hansen. And also our correspondent that does the horoscope and the poems and those crazy songs, Una Moon. How could I forget about Una? And this is the Chickster. Yes, I'm insane in the membrane. Tune in next. Next two weeks here. Skid Row Radio. And Chickster will be with you. Until then, so long. Goodbye. And good riddance. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.