Episode

Welcome to the Call Sheet. Hey, Gabe, do you have a live mic? I don't think so. I hear you now. Yeah, welcome. Happy February. Oh, my God. I'm going to talk like a valley for the whole show. It'll be awesome. Please just get out my now illegal gun and shoot myself with it. Would you ever live in the valley? Yeah, I lived in the valley. I lived in the valley when I first moved down here. I don't think I can really talk to you anymore. Really? Both of you? I started my L.A. adventure as a valley girl. I lived in Burbank, which is kind of the valley. It's considered somewhat the valley. And then I lived out in Sherman Oaks for a little while. And now I'm in the land of sanity. I'm in Hollywood. Isn't it? It's not the land of sanity. It's the land of complete fucking insanity, which is why you feel at home. Welcome home, Gabe. Look, everybody out there, if you don't feel like the town you're in, the burg, the city, the ville, if you are yearning for the lights, the bright lights of the city, I dare you to come to Los Angeles. I dare you. I dare. Most people don't even last 13 weeks. Don't come with a dream. Please come with a skill or trade or some sort of product you can sell because we're all full up on crazy. 130,000 SAG actors in Los Angeles alone. It's a very hard way to make an easy living. That's why I've moved behind the lens. With my producing partner, Gabe Romero of Poor Fish Entertainment. Thanks, Gabe, for having me under your wing and letting me use your toys and equipment and cameras and lights and stuff. It's really cute. I love it. Just remember it all belongs to me. I know it does. I've sold my soul. But you're a good enough rooster that I get along with. I'm a rooster too. I think that's why we work. Yeah, we just discovered today that I'm a cock. Mm-hmm. You're a cock. I wonder what, like, if you're a woodcock, a metalcock, or a firecock, there's like different, depending on the year, there's a different thing. I think I'm a woodcock, which is good, because I've got a nice- That wouldn't surprise me. My nickname was Woody in my formative years, because I was always like looking at some porn magazine or had some sort of boner. Awful. And I'm so repressed having been sexually molested as a child. I'm like just not that, I was like, I'm practically celibate. I'm very choosy and picky of those that I take beds with. And there's like five, six sexual partners in 30 years. Does that ever sound like I'm a fucking whore? No comment. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna- You're not gonna comment on that? I'm not gonna weigh in on that one. Okay, four of them were in the last week, but that's a different story. Welcome to the Call Sheet. You can call in. This is a live show. Please do. Please do. So if you're listening now, call in 800-893-9562. So you're saying it's 800-893-9562? Yes, or as Andras Jung's would say, 2659-398-008. Just to be clear- You read it backwards, and I'm like, how satanic are you? Just to be clear. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. Just to be clear. Just to be clear. That is not the number. That is not the number. It is actually 800- You call that, and you're gonna fall to a Nigerian email scam, and you'll be giving some prince like $3 million. Yeah, no, it's actually 800-893-9562. We have a guest. Oh my God, Jack's here. Oh, God help us all. Oh God, help us all. We're joined tonight by Jack Cohen, a former radio personality who is ready to be on the radio again. Jack, thank you for coming. Oh, it's a pleasure. Yeah, okay, well, let's get him to sit down. I'm like, ooh. Come on over here. You wanna come on over here? Yeah, take the hot seat next to Keith. Oh, it's hot. I get to touch him all night. Yeah, I was gonna say, brace yourself for serious personal space violations. So we are live. The number again is 800-893-9562. That's a new record for us. Oh, where's my little call box, Mindy? I don't, wait. That's a new record for us. I think we've said it now four times. How do I do this? That's unprecedented for the call sheet. No, it was, we said it twice, then we said it once backwards, then I said it another third time. No, and I said it a second time. Did you? I said it twice, and you've said it twice. I'm gonna tell you about this. That's how four works. I have a call. I can't hit the caller sheet. Could you turn them live for me, please? Thank you. Hello, caller. Thanks for calling in. How can we take your order? Caller, are you there? I can't. Looks like they hung up on us. Oh, you chicken shit. If I had a nickel for every time I was hung up on, I'd be a wealthy man. Thank you so much. I guess it wasn't that urgent. So if you forgot the number after you dialed it, it's 800-893-9562. Okay. This is the call sheet. Tails of the Bone Machine. Our engineer, Mindy Jorgensen, is coming in because I'm a computer nerd. Oh, wait. Look, shit's happening on my computer. I have this cool Star Trek double screen. We have a widescreen TV with our countdown. We have another 50 or so minutes left. Oh, 818 called in. Do you know someone from the Valley? Oh, my God. We were talking about the Valley. That's what it was. We inspired their participation. Jack, how are you? I'm great. I'm great. Hey, can you hear me? I can hear you. Welcome. How'd you know it was me? I didn't talk to anybody. There's no screening process whatsoever. Well, we don't know it's you. We don't know who you are. We just know that you're in the 818. Who are you? Tell us who you are. Oh, this is John Donahue. I pay your salary, pal. Okay, hang up. Hang up the ... Where's the button that lets you hang up? I'm trying to hit the button. I don't know. Wait, John, am I to understand that you went to a very special place tonight that nobody, I mean, a few hundred people maybe have been able to let in. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know that anybody has let in to this club. Is it called Lindsay Lohan's vagina? No, way more people have been in there. It's called Club 33 at Disney. Oh. Funny you should mention that I am on the balcony overlooking New Orleans Square, from Club 33, with a bottle of wine in me. In you, already. Wait a minute. I hope it went through your mouth, not through your ass. Yeah, I was about to say, John, it's probably, if, do they really give wine enemas at Club 33? No, no, but- If you give it a good tug, it'll come out. But, still, it pays for it, for my friends, for me, for me, for me, for me, for me, for me, Thank God, because it's like an $85, you know, you have to pay that. What's that called? When you have to pay. Corking fee. You have to pay $85 no matter what. It's called a corking fee. Just to come in. No, no. Just to come in, pretty much. Like a cover charge, you know, like a dinner. You have to at least spend $85. Thank God I have no money and my friends paid for all this stuff. They did. Who are you? You have nice friends. I was going to say, you have friends, John? That's surprising. I'm his friend, Gabe. We did movie night. We watched Death Wish 3, was it? We did. We did. I was going to say, we watched Adventures in Babysitting. Oh, God. We did. Well, I didn't watch that with you. I don't know who's in that. Yes, you did. It's called 33. You were sitting right over there, John. What's that, sir? I said you were sitting right over there when we watched Adventures in Babysitting. It was right here on the big screen. Yes, we did the commentary. Yeah, look at you. How quickly you forget. I feel so. I didn't forget. I didn't know what the hell you're talking about for a minute because I have a bottle of wine in me. I'm telling you, give it a swift tug, unclench, and it'll come right out. Listen, is Disneyland still open at 8 o'clock, John? It's open, and it is busier than I have seen it in years. It's like before Christmas. It's just packed here. Describe the inside of Club 33. What does it look like? Well, it looks like your normal, swanky Beverly Hills restaurant if you were to walk into one. I thought it would be special. I thought there'd be like an animatronic Walt or something to greet you. Nothing. It's just like, you know, a bunch of tables. It's very swanky and nice and posh. Nothing special. I think the only thing about it is you're eating in Disneyland. That's the special thing about it. Right, and drinking because you can't drink anywhere but Club 33. Excuse me. I did say to you a stack of napkins that say 33 from the men's room and some mints that say 33 on them. Where else are you going to get those? We just got some new listeners from an IP address in Anaheim. I think they're on to you, John. Quickly shove them up your butt. Get out of there. No, I can't believe it. So who's, if you could, I don't want you to drop names, but what's going on at the party? What's the party for? Why are you there? What's happening? A friend of mine, Steve Zarnacki, who's the head of the site Beyond the Martini, he's having his 40th birthday party, which was, by the way, last month. But we're celebrating, that's not why I'm talking. We're celebrating. We're celebrating it again tonight because it's the only night we can get into Club 33 because his friends are flying in, blah, blah, blah. But anyway, it's like a party of 10 of us. And we knocked on the door. They took our name, and we actually got into this private club right next to Pirates of the Caribbean. It's amazing. It's above that little restaurant that actually overlooks the entrance to the Pirates of the Caribbean, right? The Blue Bayou. The Blue Bayou. I love the Monte Cristo at the Blue Bayou. Tonight's show is brought to you by the Monte Cristo sandwich at the Blue Bayou, Disneyland. Anaheim, California. Listen to this, Keith. I have pictures. Tonight's meal consists of some kind of a lentil soup with pigeon inside of like a, what do you call that, Steve? Like a noodle. Like a wonton. It was a dumpling with a baby pigeon inside. I'm not kidding you. Where else in Disneyland can you get pigeon in a dumpling? I don't know, but it does not sound appetizing at all. Frontier land? Big Bear. Big Bear Jamboree. I don't know where you would find that. Sounds disgusting. I still love the burgers in Tomorrowland. The $8 burgers. By the way, I've never been to Disneyland. Are you fucking kidding me? No. I went to Disney World. My dad worked for Disney for the better part of my adolescence, and so we went to Disney World like every other weekend. And I can't tell you how fucking fed up I am of that rat. Did you go to its gay sister, the Epcot Center? No, we went to all of them. Epcot, MGM, Animal Kingdom, the whole nine yards, and if I never see those fucking ears again, it'll be too soon. Gabe, I used to work at Disney MGM, back when they used to call it Disney MGM. Back in Orlando? Yes, in Orlando. I lived there for four years, and I was the host of some kind of crazy water tank show. It was insane. Was that the... Yeah, you were, if I believe, John Donahue hosted the Jaws ride. That was the Universal. Universal, yes, I did. That's a Universal, yeah. You can find a YouTube video online, John Donahue, Jaws ride, and it's the greatest adventure. You're hysterical in it. I love the fun that you have with it. It was one of the last rides they did of it, wasn't it? Yeah. It was fun, man. That was quite a few years there. See, me and John know each other through Jaws being my favorite movie, and I met him at a Jaws screening. I love that you did that. I went to Universal Studios Thanksgiving with my mom, my little brother, my stepdad, and the best part of the ride was getting on Jaws. It's like barely getting like... I'm sorry, but that just sounded like the best part of the ride was getting on Jaws. They don't even do the blood with the guy in the boat. They don't do any of that shit anymore. They set fire to a dock, and then the shark makes it like maybe six, maybe a foot out of the water. It's all limp. Yeah. Yeah. But they've kept the original... The original Jaws ride. He's not the same as he was in Florida. The one here, he smiles at you. He looks really ridiculous. But the one in Florida before they tore it out, he looked like the one from the films. You know? Do you think we'll ever have a new Jaws movie, like a remake, a thing? I told you last time. I told you, yes. They're working on it. Yes. There will be, I'm sure, but it'll be all CG. Oh, man. No. It's a shame, too. Because what made Jaws great is that the machine didn't work. Yep. The fucking... The shark didn't work, and so you don't see him until the end. You know? Who edited that? It was a... It's brilliant, because like... Ada... Oh, God. Who wrote the other Jaws log book? The editor of Jaws? Carl Gottlieb and somebody else. The editor. Yeah. And she... The whole... Everyone at the end of each day would go to her house. Edith Fields or something like that? Oh, Edna Fields. Brenna. Brenna Fields. Thank you. Brenna Fields. Yeah. And on a moviola, she'd have like two, three days of footage ago, and they would fly it first class back to Hollywood to develop it. Well, I mean... And they would cut it, and she'd make dinner for Steven Spielberg, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss. What's the other guy? Scheider? Yeah, that guy. Roy Schneider. Roy Scheider. Roy Schneider. Roy Scheider. Roy Scheider. There's no way. And would cut footage. Roy Scheider. And... At one point, she would be assembling footage and have cut scenes completely and be like, I'm missing this. You need to shoot this. And tell Spielberg what to go out and shoot that day. It was great. Well, it's incredible because essentially our entire philosophy behind monster movies... Blockbusters. ...is built on an accident. Yeah. It's built on something that didn't work. See, now we know if you really want to scare the audience, you don't show them the monster until the end. You wait. You let them imagine. And now... Quickly follow three or four... Three years later, after... Yeah. Three or four years later, Alien came out. The original Alien, 1979. Ridley Scott. They don't show the fucker until it's about to rip her apart in her underwear in the last five minutes. And it's all because of an accident. And it's all because something didn't work. And you know that if they remake it, now it's going to be digital. And now they'll just... And it loses that lightning in a bottle quality. Hey, John, are they still doing that mist laser show over the river? The Mississippi River there? How many of you should mention that? Not at Disneyland. I think you're thinking of... I like to call it orgasmic, but I think it's phantasmic. I always call it orgasmic. I always get the... I saw it at Disneyland years ago, but they only ran it for a while. We're going over... In fact, in a few moments, we're going over to California Adventure. I personally, I can't stand it, but we're going... My friend has never seen it. The World of Color. And it's just basically projected images of Disney movies on water. And I will take a nap from this wine-induced coma. Nice. If you see anything from the Fox and the Hound, shout out. Woo! John, thank... Are you kidding me? John, I can't believe you're calling actually from Club 33 in Disneyland. On the balcony. On the balcony. I keep showing my boobs. No one's throwing me shit. Just dirty looks. I can understand why, John. I've seen you. He's a tall, handsome man. What? He's a tall, handsome man. So tell me about your role in 1600. It's been pumped. I read... I read... I read... I read it in every magazine, everything. LA Weekly. I see it on TV. How are you involved in 1600? I have literally, I think, one line. Well, I remember one line. But here's the deal. It could come back as recurring. But the funny thing is, the show keeps getting taken off every other Thursday for some special on NBC. And this next Thursday, I was one episode away from mine. And they're doing a special two-parter office episode for Valentine's Day. That does not bode well. I did an episode of Sib. And they canceled the series two episodes before I would have been on. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it stays on the air, not only for my friends on the show, but for me as well. So I can add something to my reel. But I'm in episode seven, which airs a week after whatever one the next one airs, which is in two weeks. So it should be at the end of this month. Dude, Christopher Dorner could kill us all before that happens. Don't say that. No, I'm kidding. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm kidding. I'm going to have another bottle of wine now because I didn't think about this. Are you drinking red or white? It's white. I had a choice. I love it. And delicious desserts. A little Chardonnay. And the food is pretty tasty. I can't believe you ate a baby pigeon. I didn't eat it. I ate around it. I ate the soup around the dumpling. Dude, that's the thing about soup. You can't eat around it. It's in it. It's everywhere. It's stoned together. I know. It was sloping up. The soup has like pigeons eating it. You ate baby pigeon. Don't trust dumplings. You ate baby pigeon. Don't eat food that you can't see inside. You're lucky you're there. You're going to eat what they serve you. And you paid $85 or somebody else did to have the honor. Someone else did. I'm here to soak it all in. So wait, even if you're a member, you got to like cough up every time you want to show up? I don't know how that works. I just know that I'm very lucky to be here. And then we're leaving in a few minutes to go see a show I hate. But I'm so happy to be here. Well, thank you for taking a few minutes and calling into the call sheet. Yes. John, you are awesome. You're awesome. I can't believe you're there. I'm totally jealous. Yeah, well, I got pictures. What else did you do at Disneyland today? Did you go on any rides? Did you do anything? We got here just as we were supposed to come in. So I went to Disney Walk, whatever you want to call it, the City Walk in Disneyland. And we went and had a drink, a 90-proof alcoholic beverage at Rainforest Cafe. And I must say, with the wine, I don't know, I might be in New Orleans right now. Tonight's show brought to you by the Rainbow Cafe. Believe me. If you were in New Orleans, you'd be drinking something a lot stronger. Why not? 90% alcohol, I'll drink it, as long as it doesn't have an umbrella in it, because people are watching. And that was okay. If you're in New Orleans, it's all right to drink something with an umbrella, because it's probably really fucking strong. Why not? But I will have pictures of Club 33, and I'll show you guys. And it's all top secret. I got pictures of the men's room. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. Tell me what Owen Wilson... It's wild, man. It's crazy. What would Owen Wilson say about Club 33? Wow, it's weird. There's like beads here, and you can't get them off the ring link. They're like glued to it. It's weird. It's crazy. That's crazy. It's crazy. Far out. Far out. Wow, man. Hey, thanks for taking my call, you guys. And I'll see you soon, I hope. Absolutely. Have a good night, John. There's a seat and a mic waiting for you, John. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Have a good night. And I will talk to you soon. Bye. Later. Thanks for calling. I'm going to go see the show that I hate. Okay. Have fun with that. Wow. Yeah, wow. John's a little up and comer. John's special. He's a good connector. John's special. He's got lots of connections, and he has a network, and walk up to strange people and say, would you do this and meet with this person and do that? And I was like, huh? I was like, I can't do that. I don't know why you can't do that. You can do that. You have people. You have people. You have people. You have people. You have people. I was at your show. I was at your show. Nine fucking hundred gorgeous. That's not true. Contortionist fucking costume designers. That's not true. That's not true. That are like probably on some sort of medication. You're dramatically over-exaggerating. No, I'm not. You're dramatically over-exaggerating. In your friends list. But no, I was at your autograph show last week and went up to Erica Elaniak and invited her on the show. And have you tweeted her? I told you to tweet her. I haven't tweeted her. You got to tweet her. I'll tweet her live on the show. I'll tweet her right now. I'll tweet her right now. Okay. And no, you just, you go up. You talk to people. You say, hey. You say, what's up? That's how I met you. I had a big crush on her just from E.T. Everybody had a big crush on her. Yeah, no. And then Under Siege. Yeah. Crazy Gary V. Seymour. Is that the fancy? Under Siege. Under Siege. Under Siege. Avec grabage. I don't know. She was like the girl that popped out of the cake and then was taken hostage and ran around half naked. In her room at the autograph show was Tippi Hedren, Jeannie. Barbara Eden. Thank you. We had Brad Keston and Angela Lee from Charlie Brown and Lucy, The Voices. They were stuck in the adult room and all us 80s stars were like in the other room, a little smaller room. And they're like, we're in the old people's room. No, we want to be in your room. And Brad's very, very savvy. He had a square. He had a square. Brad's the man. He had a square on his iPhone. Yeah. And the only sign I saw at the whole show that says, we accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover. That's Brad, man. And boom. Brad Keston, if you're out there, man, when are you coming back on? I know. We want you back on. Call us, Brad. Call us. We miss you, Brad. It's been like a week since I saw you. Everyone said to say hi, and then you showed up. I turn around and I'd just gotten a text from Gabe. He's like, hey, what's... What's the story? What's going on? What's the story that's going on? And it was all bad reception in the convention. And I look up and you're just kind of sitting there, kind of half looking over your shoulder. You're like, I was waiting until you saw me saying it here. Yeah, you know. It's fun. I don't want to push you. I was busy chatting with Jeremy. Did you see Lando Calrissian? No. I think he'd gone by the time I was there. Jeremy Miller sat right across from us. Met Tracy Gold. Totally. I was sitting in between. The two stars that weren't Bruce Lee and Enter the Dragon. That was so cool. Doug Jones, who is the physical actor as Abe Sapien in Hellboy. He's also in the other movies by Gabriel Del Toro. He's the guy with the hands and his eyes. And he's like a very thin, physical, tall actor. Non-verbal. And when they put all the padding on, he looks like a normal... Like width and stuff like that. I guess he has to be very thin. But he's very good at expressing. I took mime, Gabe. Yeah. I took mime as a child. Really? Because you never shut up now. Jack Cohen's here, ladies and gentlemen. Jack Cohen, who has actually had more radio experience than either of us. I put together. Put together, yeah. Thank you for coming. Not at all. Very good friend. We have a good, dry... You share for me and Gabe, at least. I think. I think. I think. Good, dry sense of humor. A good look at the world. Yeah. I think. I think. I think that's true. How terrible. I actually don't have any radio experience at all, though. Really? I have film experience. I've done some, you know. Jack did a great documentary. I thought you... I did not. I have no radio experience at all. I don't recall ever being on the radio. I think this is the first time I've ever been on the radio. You either lied to me or I've smoked way too much weed. You smoke way too much weed. Yeah, it's the second one. I would not. I would not. I would not. I would not. I would not. I would not. I would not. Definitely the second one. I wouldn't lie about that. But I know that you have a great voice and a great knowledge of music. I keep getting complimented on my voice lately. On the phone. Yeah. I am. Do they like you? They do. You're just butter on sausage. Yeah. They're not giving me any money, but they're complimenting my voice. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough. It's nice. You know? You have a good heart. You do what you have to do to do what you want to. And you raise funds. You raise funds for non-profit organizations. And then what you want to do, though, and everyone that works at this fundraising place has got dreams and hopes and scripts and stuff. A lot of great people work there. A lot of really good people work there. I mean, one of the departments is ran by Dan Monahan. Mm-hmm. Peewee. Mm-hmm. Porkies. I got to watch that again just to see him. Go meet. Mm-hmm. And your other pursuits? Here in Los Angeles in Hollywood? Well, I was an actor when I came out here 20-something years ago from New York. I worked at the Greek Theater. While you were talking about Disneyland, I remember the one and only time I was in Disneyland was when I was working at the Greek. I was a bartender there from 89 to 91, and we had a day trip. I guess it was 91 to Disneyland. They all wanted to go to Disneyland. So I went to Disneyland. It was the first time ever, and I recall the most distinct thing about it. I recall was when I entered, it says over the entrance, the happiest place on earth, and all the people looked miserable. All the people waiting for you to come in and to take the tickets and to sell you. That's right. They did not look happy at all. I thought it was a brilliant kind of like the contrast. And yeah, I didn't care much for the place. They're forced to shave facial hair and cut their hair in a certain way. They've relaxed that in recent years. But Disneyland used to have a very strict employee. No mustaches, no goatees, no nothing. I know people who love that place. I know several of them. I had a year pass, and I went like 57 times that year. Bunch of folks who just love it. It's the greatest. And I'm like, seriously? I can picture the whole place in my mind, every single ride, which way to go, the patterns of the day. You sniff it out. It's like crowd mentality in a riot. You're like, they're not in Indiana Jones now. Run to Space Mountain. The parade's going on. Go to our favorite rides because the parade's happening. Or stalk the Little Mermaid over and over and over again during their permit. Oh, she's cute. When do you work next? Thursday. We go back Thursday. Follow her seven times in the route. Sorry, aunt. Good friend. We stalked the Little Mermaid in the... I wonder where she is today. Little Mermaid, where are you? There's a bunch of them. There's a ton of them. Little Mermaids. Little Mermaids. Little Mermaids. I'm just saying. Little Ariel's. That's the joy of growing up in the fucking shadow of the mouse. You learn all the little secrets and there's, you know. The shadow of the mouse? That's what I said. That's what I said. I've worked for Disney like seven times. They're my favorite employer. They're kind of cheap, but they... Why are they your favorite? Because they pay on time. What is it they do? Well, number one, they make children's entertainment, which I love. Because the market is... They're saturated with the violence and sex. And to have something that parents can put on and, you know, watch Brave over and over. Watch, you know... I loved Tangled. Oh, my God. Tangled is... I should have got an Oscar. I have nieces and nephews and stuff and little brother and we'll have watched the Disney vaults over the years. They're very savvy. Every seven years, they bring back a movie for a little while on a DVD video and then take it away. Then new movies come out. And it's like... So consumed. Such an expected product. When they come out with something, they don't fuck up like Pixar and Cars 2. They... Disney just keeps fucking delivering. And it's great to work for them. And they do... They're funny. They're funny to work with. I was shooting the Cheetah in Africa. Actually wearing one of the crew shirts right now. You guys got to see this. Robert Homie Sr. I can't really see it. Robert Homie Sr. Who... Robert Homie Jr. Did like the... The... Ted Danson's Gulliver Travels movie. They're good on location and huge scope and lots of shit. In Africa, 30-day shoot with kids, animals, and exotic locations. Nice. Very nice. Very fun. Disney. And we did it on time and under budget. And it was a $1.5 million budget. They sold it to Disney as a negative pickup for $3 million. And it made $10 million at the box office. Thank you. Good night. Rated G. It's actually Buena Vista Distribution. And I've done Touchstone Films. And worked for Disney Television. And love them. Love... Please, Disney, please. I love you. Oh, my God. No, in the thing of Showtime and HBO and the violence. And I love Walking Dead. Tomorrow night is the premiere, 6 o'clock p.m. Pacific time. The premiere of the new season of The Walking Dead. Are you a zombie freak? I'm not. Are you a vampire? I love Breaking Bad. Stay out of my territory. I love Breaking Bad. So do I. Did you ever think Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle would be him in Breaking Bad? Guy is a genius. Great contrast. He's the villain in the new Total Recall. He's the big bad man. I mean, I can't think of anyone working in television today who's as versatile and just talented in so many different directions than Bryan Cranston. You just... You don't get better than that. You know? I love Breaking Bad. Who's the young man on Breaking Bad? His co-cooperator? His name is Aaron Pohl. He was up for all sorts of Emmys and Oscars and Golden Globes or whatever. Right? And I think he's won a fair amount too. Yeah. Yeah. He's unbelievable on the show. Yeah. He's terrific. He's terrific. He was on... He was up with the neighbor and they started doing junk. And I was like, whoa, this show really took off. William Macy on Shameless is pretty terrific. Have you seen that? Yeah. I saw the premiere of the new season where he takes... They're like, you took more yayo up your ass than any other white boy. Wow. We are impressed. How could you underbid us? We're Mexicans. We're Mexicans. We're Mexicans. We're Mexicans. We're Mexicans. Hey, man. It's America. Learn the rules. At this point in the economy in America, yeah, people will be doing that. How fun to be live downtown Los Angeles on skidrowstudios.com. There's amazing shows on Skid Row Studios. La Nista is blowing up. It's PT. It's about public transportation in this town. Listen in 24-7 to skidrowstudios.com. Every single person involved in the studio is awesome. And all the shows are stuff you will never hear, never see. We have a Ustream. You can find it if you hunt around. We might be live right now. Aren't we? Aren't we live 24-7 on the Ustream? Yep. Yep. Over the interwebs? We sounded good. I tuned in one morning when we were replaying our show in the morning, like at 8 or 9 in the morning. They replayed the call sheet. And I heard your voice, Gabe. My silky smooth. Yeah. It was like booming over the whole studio. It was like booming. It was like booming. It was like booming. It was like booming. It was like booming. It was like booming. It was like booming. It was like booming. It was like booming. It was like booming. Michael Ustream was picking up. I was like, that sounds damn good. All right. Yeah, I do. Good show. Yeah, I did. That's the way I do. I got those vocals styled, man. Are you a fear? Where are you from, Jack? I'm from New York. I would never have guessed it. do you think everyone in LA is narcissistic and fucking just so distracted and not present and not in front of you not everyone but a lot of people yeah it's true very different places like a different planet here I've heard that before like it's outer space or we're spaced out yeah but there are a lot of terrific people here too there are a lot of really good people here too you just gotta you just gotta work to find them it really depends on the circle of people that you meet up with in LA or know in LA it really does that totally changes your like the valley people that are calling in from 818 John Donahue dude come come over the hill it's it's nice it's cooler in the summer there's more movie theaters come over the hill into Hollywood I don't know my best my favorite movie theater is on the other side of the hill fuck you my favorite movie theater is Burbank 16 the Cinerama Dome the Chinese Theater the Vista the New Beverly Cinema those are my theaters yeah no no the Cinerama Dome eh overrated I mean don't get me wrong man's grum in Chinese Theater the main theater been there been there not impressed what the fuck it's it's I'll say this as like an interior it's nice but as far as like a movie going experience the screen the sound the music the music it's it needs to be redone it needs to be overhauled the place is out of date man like it's a beautiful it's a beautiful theater it's it's a pleasure to look at but once they turn the lights down and once they turn the lights down and the movie starts meh not so much you know like and and the Arclight I will say this the main theaters in the Arclight are beautiful they're great they're nice but the Cinerama Dome just it's overrated I mean the thing is it's I don't know it's just it's it's it's not great I've seen like four movies in there and had to go watch them again in other theaters because I couldn't really enjoy them what I love about the Cinerama Dome is that you'll be sitting in the theater and I like to sit kind of close and up middle and you know close I'll sit in the back fine I don't care I'll sit anywhere and watch a movie but I love close if you're just off access center you actually hear people talking five six rows away from above you because the acoustics are so perfect it hits these tiles and the roof and it comes down and you hear people talking and whispering straight above you I saw 2001 I saw Hunt for October there love the Cinerama Dome Man Chinese is awesome Multiplex is I'm I'm torn because I want people to see the movies and there's overhead I think the Vista is the most beautiful theater I've seen in LA and I think the Cinerama Dome and I think the experience there is incredible it's like you're sitting in first class it's a mini Man Chinese you've got like ten feet of leg room in front of you they have recliners in the front row it's like ridiculous it's beautiful the architecture it's maintained really well they show first run movies it's cheaper than any other theater I think which one is this? the Vista the Vista I haven't been to the Vista yet and I want to I want to I just haven't had a chance yet but you know and I've told you this I've told you this one of the things I like about the AMC is you go to any AMC theater if a movie starts before noon it's six dollars in a day and age when you're paying eighteen dollars we have a caller hello thank you for calling 323 how can we take your order? I was just saying how much I enjoyed this Charlie Brown cartoon that I just saw on ABC oh my god I know who this is and what a lovely voice I thought and then I went oh no I'm so close to Charlie Brown's voice my ass I know I just lost contact is that Jennifer Rose? it is it is Jennifer Rose it's Jennifer Jennifer Rose hi Dave hi Jen we're also joined by Jack Cohen tonight hi Jen how are you doing? hi I was so thrilled to actually oh there it is you guys want to hear yourself on TV you want me to turn it up? oh god I'm scared of the feedback oh no that didn't occur to me he's talking to Peppermint Patty right now oh that's crazy he's talking to is he sitting right there? no Brad's not here tonight oh I thought he was it's just the three of us no no no no he's on the road we were calling calling him out the other people have like families and commitments and obligations I have Saturday nights free at 8 o'clock I think it's grand it's so funny we were at the autograph show and we were promoting the autograph show and the another voice of Charlie Brown he didn't do as many years as Brad got arrested for stalking a girlfriend that was the that was like the Charlie Brown that was Christmas the Christmas one and the Great Pumpkin and like that was I think it was even the first like wait a minute hold on there's been two main voices for Charlie Brown there's several there's been a bunch there's been a bunch and Lucy because you get to as soon as your voice cracks they fire you you're out the door they hire a new one they use real 8 to 12 year olds yep brutal brutal brutal brutal brutal your voice cracked hit the bricks hit the bricks and beat it pal you're out of here yeah what? well here I thought I'd caught the Charlie Brown thing but anyway what else is going on tonight at the station? oh man it's a beautiful night in downtown there's a drum kit in the lobby it's awesome I played drums earlier very poorly it was it was really funny because Keith is sitting there in his coat wearing his backpack trying to play drums and I'm like I have never seen a drummer in so much clothing can I ask why there is a drum kit because there really is one in the lobby why is there a drum kit in the lobby? that's my that's me is it Mindy's? it's Mindy's Mindy our producer is a freaking awesome drum player I get here early in practice before work hey how can we can we hear a riff? can you play like 16 bars for us? can we mic that? is there even a mic out there? there is I'd have to set it up and take me a little bit it's terrible is that why you're in the lobby? is the are the acoustics no I think it's just that's just where it fits and the building is largely empty so we don't have to worry about why'd you put it in my ass? that's just where it fits I had a much more romantic notion but we can make it romantic have you ever looked up the word romance in Webster's dictionary by the way? no what's it say Jen? it's a one word definition fiction it goes on to say exaggerated details under the guise of l'amour yeah but you know he was locked up from the Tower of London writing the dictionary so what does he know? well if wait where did where did Webster write his dictionary? back when then what? but that was his definition where did he write it? didn't he write it in in New England I visited his house it's in Connecticut didn't he write it in a church or in a well he wrote it in a lot of places it took him it took him like a decade to write the dictionary oh that's not bad I think he wrote it in a Starbucks I'm not sure he bought one fucking coffee he waited out all day and he wrote that shit in a Starbucks wow yeah so how long are you guys going to be on the air tonight? this is fun judging by the clock on the wall we got another 15 minutes 40 seconds oh okay so you're at the end of your sojourn was it great tonight? so far so good we've talked about a bottle of wine stuck in John Donahue's ass we've talked about Club 33 we talked about so it makes no sense whatsoever that I called it about Charlie Brown is that what you're telling me? nothing we do makes sense Jen you know that you fit right in oh good I finally belong somewhere and I guess it's romantic fix it it was either going to be Charlie Brown or the kid that wished everyone into a cornfield in Twilight Zone the movie oh my god oh my god or little Ben Seaver and everyone's busy everyone has lives and families and babies coming and I'm I must be exhausted I'm impressed I mean they do shit they make babies they do well you know we only have 15 minutes don't get me started so guys it was a delight and always an honor thank you for calling in Jen to be in your radio presence and call me anytime you have to call me hold on before you go Jen I want Keith to tell me to tell this joke that he told me in the car on the way here about the light bulb and the Jewish mother oh I think she knows this I'm sure she does but I love her reactions how many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb none it's alright I'll sit in the dark God I love a good audience hey oh oh hey how many Palestinians take to screw in a light bulb don't do it oh here we go no no no I'm just kidding they don't have any power I'm just kidding I'm just kidding oh oh he went there oh oh didn't you go on wait Jen didn't you go on like a really bad date yeah oh tell me about this I want to hear about that yeah there's like Broadway shows involved but it's bad oh tell the story Jen please well here's how it goes when I first went to New York I being that I'm from Kentucky and went to school at Indiana I met this whole Ivy League crowd which is a whole different world you know for me and one of the guys you know my name's Jennifer Brown I'm from Louisville, Kentucky I was a Delta Gamma at Indiana so he has a some kind of vision of what I guess he thinks I am anyway it was our third date we were definitely going home together that night this is the romantic dinner portion of the evening and he reaches across the table from my hand we'll call it romantically and says you know what the problem with Manhattan is Jennifer and I thought he was going to say there's no bed as soft and warm as mine and I was like no what's the problem with Manhattan is there too many fucking Jews oh my god worst pregame line ever whether I'm Jewish or not which I am he just didn't figure that I was it might work with a very small portion of the population I don't know I don't know should I tell the rest yes well I just took my hand away from his and as I like to say to my friends my vagina just snapped shut the whole restaurant heard that my arms are folded I'm back in my chair and he says well what's wrong is one of your good friends Jewish or something I said no one of your good friends is and he still doesn't get it and I'm just sitting there as I say with a neon sun in my forehead saying shalom moron and you see this hello and he says well you're not and I'm shaking my head yes he goes well you're not I mean are you adopting like shh you're in quicksand already you're sinking fast and I pretty much dramatically took my napkin off my lap put it on the table and walked out and wondered if I was going to hear from him which I did the next day and I was like oh my god I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die wow that's 1-800-NATSY can I help you and he says to me that was pretty bad huh and I was like yeah it was pretty bad he said I somehow want to make it up to you and I'm like how are you going to do that and he said well I want it to be a surprise and I'll pick you up in a limo let's not make that our last memory wait a minute wait wait wait did he convert was that the surprise he tried to and here's how he said he'll pick you up he'll pick me up in a limo it'll be a surprise and I said well as long as you're not taking me to a train station I'll get in he picked me up in the limo and I realized we're going to Broadway and this is you know a long time ago back in the early 80s so what is he taking me to see I kid you not we pull up to Fiddler on the roof oh my god and I said to him are you going with me it's like a synagogue in there you know he goes he tolerates he listens he learns he drops me back off and I never see him again wow but what people were doing back then when they were doing stupid things they apologized to people by taking them to Broadway shows and I didn't know that being that I was new and my first date who passed out before dinner came passed out face down on the plate in front of me his apology was tickets to Evita and that was my first Broadway show in New York and that was my first apology date this was the second one and by the time I had the third date I am looking in the theater section hoping somebody's going to do something stupid because this time I wanted to choose the show for date number three so that's what that's what that's what Kate's talking about oh thank you thanks for letting me do that oh thanks Jen for calling in and oh sure do you like do you like you and Jack both have New York experience what do you like better I know there's douches in LA there's douches in New York just less do you like LA New York where do you want to live oh gosh I love New York I don't I don't you know I would miss LA but God I love New York I would love to move back to New York I would there was a line in a song um we have another call a few years ago Jen hey we have another caller go have fun love ya bye bye bye okay love ya bye bye one of the things it said in the song was live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard live in Southern California once but leave before it makes you soft that's clever do I hit it again did we lose our caller I don't know did you lose your caller you got another one oh my god what a sexy smoky voice that is I think I know who this is do you think you know who that is I think I know who this is you have no idea who this is I got a hunch oh come on hunch you got a hunch you got a hump you got what do you got wow how much how many different pencils of black coal eyeliner do you own Leanne how dare you that's a personal question do you know that you I've shown pictures from the event last February 1st February 2nd the Hollywood LA Celebrity Autograph Show I've shown pictures and they go she couldn't have been in those movies that's ridiculous those were 25 years old she looks fucking 31 years old it's the embalming it's the embalming dove's blood how often do they embalm is that a regular thing or you just do it once every couple of years every 28 days it goes a long time that's awesome wow I can't believe I'm talking to you guys live and I'm walking my Yorkie is that what they call it now yes walking the dog and talking on the radio so weird make sure you curb that Yorkie you curb your tongue so hello what are you doing we are we're just fucking around yeah we got like 7 minutes left we're fucking around totally love that you reminded me of Tammy Lauren the other day where's her policeman I remember when she had to get out of jail free card all the time she would flash it she'd be like hi this is my friend yeah she's a black belt that's okay she's a black belt Jacqueline's a black belt I'm almost a black belt Tammy was like my sister I did a bunch of chips and shit with Tammy Lauren and Leanne is a great wonderful actress but we don't need to mention any projects who does cool movies from the 80s other than Keith Coogan you're the only one I actually really don't exist this is just a figment of Keith's imagination here wow I have amazing powers of projection that's pretty cool you've got amazing all kinds of stuff Keith Coogan I'm really really happy that you called in and what did you have you done it was my first autograph show really that was my second one you were a virgin yeah I was totally I got my cherry popped hard we popped your autographed cherry uh oh it's okay it's all good we need to take you to Chiller or some kind of like popcorn I've done one horror movie with like a snake that's it with like a snake yeah no like a snake kind of raiding with that like no like Python it was with Robert Englund it was kind of fascinating it was kind of fascinating I've worked with Robert Englund who's the total horror you know like would be the king god at a horror convention um apparently he's like a really really really nice man uh he is he's very funny and you were in Critters 2 I was yes you were no I wasn't we missed you oh thank you thank you you know I auditioned for uh 16 Candles for uh Farmer Ted Farmer Ted yeah did not he wasn't there the other day I was very upset no no but we saw David Faustino and I Dream of Jeannie and Michael Parr I was in the cougar room man they put me in the room I wanted to go to the cougar room and they put me in the fucking cougar room they put me in there with tippy fucking head okay and I have Morgan Fairchild I'm like Scott what are you trying to tell me fucker Lonnie Anderson Morgan smile down Fairchild who else Barbara Eden Farmer Ted Farmer Ted Leslie Ann was it Leslie Ann Warren who was that Leslie Ann Warren he was there Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island I'm like what the fuck is going on here why am I in this room well at least you were there with like Brad and Angie like at least you had some cool people in there thank god I loved those two oh they're so sweet Brad kept me going I photobombed his ass good me and uh Todd Bridges photobombed a good one yeah and I was sitting across from Jeremy Miller and Tracy Gold and uh uh uh I was also next to um the original Jennifer from Back to the Future Claudia Wells and Wednesday that's right with her Armani Wells she dresses men she does very nicely apparently she wanted to dress me gave me a card come down no no no no no she didn't want to dress you Keith she wanted to undress you she I don't know there's too much Christian Bible walk the path shit with her she had her hands all over you I had my hands all over her she was in his head movie yeah in my little head movie I'm imagining things oh uh wow uh that was a fun it was surreal for me cause it was the most direct whorish connection between having done work or whatever and taking the money um you think yeah oh what do you mean you think I felt like I was on a fucking pole I wish we had a picture of that you know I wish we had a picture no I'll settle for the 3D tango picture we tossed that was good you did I saw the 2D version on uh Twitter and Facebook uh I love the 3D version though that was very cool uh you know I wish I could post 3D that would be awesome Facebook uh tonight's show brought to you by 3D pictures by Facebook sorry that's for the automatic readers the echelon system that listens to all communications and Facebook will get them and they'll get the note and they'll create it I think we should have Keith's book Keith's book Keith's book my narcissist quality really appreciates that yes do you like that it was a very ego you're ego driven yeah I tried to drop it since like 93 but it just won't stick I don't know she's throwing it at the walkie thanks thanks you are uh very hot very sexy very disappointed you have kids and love someone and are with someone stable you kept looking at that finger like you wanted to amputate that shit really yeah the one with the sparkly crow magnet on it talk about narcissism wow uh I do I'd get a tattoo of you on my arm would you yeah and then he'd make it dance like Pete yes I would make it dance laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter Your IMDb picture is beautiful, Leigh-Anne Curtis It's a little risque No, well No, it's not No Most actresses from 80s movies don't walk around with a half-shaved head like Skrillex I like that there's two You've got the classic black and white, you know And then the one that's just awesomeness I feel like that second one is more really you And that's like, yeah Yeah, one of those happy accidents in an almost kind of dark studio I don't know how, I was happy I've obviously posted it several times That's my ego talking to you I like that picture too, guys Yeah, yeah, yeah, you look good We have literally a minute left Love you, Leigh-Anne, thanks for calling in You're talking about something other than me, I'm crazy Don't waste it on me I love you Come hang out with me, Keith Alright Oh my god Alright, thanks for calling in Love you, Leigh-Anne, bye-bye Bye, honey Bye We have another caller Let's grab it real quick 20 seconds left to go And they're gone Oh wait, 310, calling in Thanks for taking the call, how can we help you? Hello? Thank you That's what I hear all day Jack Cohen, Gabe Romero, Keith Coogan Thanks for listening to the call sheet Thanks for Leigh-Anne Curtis and John Donahue for calling in And our caller gets the last word And Jennifer Brown Hey, this is Brian Stamper, I'm a friend of Gabriel's Hey, Brian Thanks for calling in, man Thanks for listening all the way out in Texas Very, very different tone Yeah I'm sorry We're playing you off Thanks for accepting the award, but Oh man, alright, call in next week Yep We'll see you next week