Episode

the right. Please give her room. Welcome to the Adam O podcast. I'm Adam O boys and girls. Yes, we are back. It's March. Happy March to everybody. Well, today's a very special show. That's right. I'm Adam O. I play Adam O, the character in a show called The Breakfast Show. It's a live kid's show here in LA. It's kind of like Pee Wee's Playhouse meets SNL for kids. Well, that's the goal is to make it a live TV kid's show. But today's show is all about the past. Before I was Adam O, I was Adam Shankman, a small town hero from Hollywood, California. A polyamorous. Chester comedian. A seltzer commercial type of comedian. Always in need of a good burp. A fearless open miker. A maverick of dreams. A rebel of the small circle jerks of LA alternative comics. The love of art and comedy and a hater of the high school wolf pack clicks of comedy. A scroll of rejection. A heart of vision and an ego. A pony that walked on the UCB stage. Tonight's episode, we're going to be talking about Adam Shankman. And we have the lost pilot of the epic Adam Shankman special season one. So just in a minute, you're going to sit back and enjoy 35 minutes of the world premiere of the Adam Shankman special. Season one, the audio version. So with that said, I'm glad to be back here at Skid Row Studios here in downtown LA. If you'd like to call the show, please call 800-893-9562. That's 800-893-9562. The Adam O podcast is about to change boys and girls. Every week, we're going to be touching on surfaces. We're going to be talking about the world premiere of the Adam Shankman special. And doing a little hybrid style of comedy through the kids show all the way to the adult content of the Adam Shankman special. Creativity meets magic. So sit back and enjoy, folks. The Lost Tapes. World premiere of the Adam Shankman special. Season one. Audio.! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, thank you, everybody, coming out tonight. Adam Schenkman, Episode 4. I don't know what to do, because I'm supposed to be a warming-up guy, but I cannot reach the mic. You know, too high. Okay. Adam Schenkman, Episode 4. I'm assistant director of Adam Schenkman. My name is Kaz. Thank you so much for coming. Yopasso! That's Japanese. Welcome. Okay. Are you ready for Adam Schenkman? Yeah! Okay, Adam Schenkman, come here! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Thank you. Ooh! Thank you. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you! Thank you so much! Ladies and gentlemen, so thank you for being at this special. Tonight I'm going to need an audience member that's an actor. I'm casting a show here live at the Echo Park Film Center. It's a play I'm directing. It's called Hustlers. What's your name again? Jenny. Shaking hands. Jenny! Guys, ladies and gentlemen! Alright, ladies and gentlemen, Jenny's going to be reading for me. And action! So, when popcorn left, I got up and ran me some bath water. I saw no need for me lying in bed. After all, every time I closed my eyes, I saw the motherfucker. Choo choo! Why are you grabbing me? Because that's what he did. Cut! Cut! Cut! Come on! Come on! What are you doing? Popcorn. I don't get it. It's a popcorn. Oh, she said popcorn. Oh, huh. Okay, bye. Yeah, I get it. Okay. She said popcorn, so she's popcorn. Okay, cut. Sit down. Popcorn. No, no, we get it. Thanks. Bye. From the top. Ready? And sit down. And action! When popcorn left, I got up, ran me some bath water. You shut up! Shut up! Go eat it! Ladies and gentlemen, improv 101. Shut up. Beverly Hills is all old money. So, if we stop in front of a star's home, please do not say we're just tourists. We're not tourists on a tour. Star home tour. We're architecture students from UCLA. Okay? And I'm your professor. So, this house right here is actually a real stupid house. I saw no need for me lying in bed. I mean, after all, I closed my eyes. I saw that motherfucker choo choo rapping me. Dude, you can't read, can you? It's raping me. Star over. We're back. I'm sorry, I can't read. You beautiful. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the last take, otherwise we're gonna move on. It's raping me. R-A-P-P-P-I-N-G. Alright. Okay, ready? Action! Take three. Here, sorry. Take three. When popcorn left, I got up, ran me some bath water. I saw no need for me lying in bed. I mean, after all, every time I closed my eyes, I saw that motherfucker choo choo raping me. Cause that's what he did. He took the pussy. I didn't give him shit. I eased my body down in the steaming hot bubbles. Say it like you mean it! And I tried not to think of the role I played choo choo, literally ripping my favorite shorts off my lower body. Gangsta fucking me like it was one of those hoes that strolled up and down Chamberlain Street. In fact, my shit was more sour. Yesterday, I was so glad that Popcorn hadn't wanted to repeat that performance of what he had done the night before. This morning, I had known that he had returned for some mid-morning sex. But turning him away, I knew, would be easy. That's not to say I enjoyed saying no to my man. I didn't. I never turned down his direct or indirect approaches because, again, I'm a firm believer in the law of the law. I believe that a woman should open her legs for her man as often as he wants. That way, she has the right to get gangstaret on the nigga if he creeps on her. I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already got that one I think I already I'm talking about popcorn. This is Henry. Basically for the last two years, I've collected every letter anybody ever sent to me from a show that I got rejected by. And I've saved every single one. And I'd like to share my rejection list with you. Let's do this, Henry. Showcase submission must see. This is to Irene Antons and Montreal Just for Laughs. Unfortunately, we're following a deadline for submissions. It's February 6th. We are not interested in Adam Shankman's footage. Please try back next year. Or the year after that. Tomorrow. Just for Laughs. Montreal. Melinda Hill. Tiger Lily. 2008. The 13th of September. Hey Adam. I'm totally overbooked. For the year 2019. I need some water there. I need some water. I need some water. I need some water. I need some water. I need some water. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. I need some water there. and i am a senior i anger yoga instructor really yes i do i do i do workshops there yeah tiger lily adam thanks for getting back to us again but like i said before we are booked all right bring talent on the set please talent coming in quiet out on set. Last looks. Ready and action. Hi, welcome to the Adam Shankman special episode four. I'm Adam Shankman and today we're going to be talking about the unsung heroes of Hollywood. The standings. All right, so basically you guys stand in a single file line. This is very cool. I have recruited these people, whether it's been through certain acting newsreels, newspapers, etc. I got these guys to do it. They each paid them 50 bucks to be here. So basically I'm very honored to have them today. We'll start off with the first stand in. He's a professional. He works basically for the Verizon guy. He's a stand in since the Verizon commercials. Since 1999 he's been the Verizon guy. Stand in. Please turn around. Good. Good. Good. Good. Yes. Okay. Say the Verizon guy's line. Can you hear me now? Good. Okay. Our next one, basically he's an international superstar. He is a rap star, musician, song and dance man. You've seen him. You know him. He's yours. Please welcome Kanye West. Stand in. Turn around. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. Okay, so basically, does anybody have any questions for Kanye West as standing? Okay. Um, sorry. Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, Jack Nicholson's professional stand-up since 1968. Please welcome Chickster. Yeah. Now, Chickster's been his, he's also, uh, my father. And he's been Jack Nicholson's personal stand-up. Jack, please stay in line for any Jack Nicholson movie. Well, I see the, uh, the reporters are there, and the newspaper and everything, and it reminds me of a story, Adam. There was a young girl from St. Paul who attended a newspaper ball. And she was caught on fire and burnt her entire front page, sporting section, and all. Beautiful. I recruited her myself, uh, from Craigslist. The economy's not doing well, as you know. Uh, so actors are hungry. And they're not doing well. Okay, so. So basically, please welcome the one, the only, Queen Latifah Stanton. Okay, Queen Latifah, please say one line from any Queen Latifah movie. Can I do a song and a stand? Please do one line of a song. Yes, please. I ain't a bitch, y'all. Ho, you and I, team, why? I'm a bitch. So where are you? I'm here. Dude, get off your butt. Give me, come on, come on. You're driving me, you know, a little... What should I do? Turn on those lights, I need, cause this is for the camera. Okay. Thank you. You okay? I need some water, please. I'm really thirsty. Dude, are you... Dude, you make, like, sushi. Oh, I know. You should be skilled with the hand. You wanna be all over me? Croak. Ladies and gentlemen, turn off the lights. Please welcome the one, the only, the rap group, Medicaided Machines. Oh! Check, check. You know I don't know you, but I know what you're like. And I know you don't know me, but baby, you know that I'm right. I see you almost every day, but only in passive. And your smile's a dead giveaway. You're looking for passion. Let's have a one-on-one. Shot for shot till we're drunk. Back to your place for some fun. Wipe me down when I'm done. You think that I'm sweet, but girl, to tell you the truth, I'm not just trying to be nice. I want a Superman. You, let's just class ourselves. Another shot of Jameson. I saw you knock back three. And a couple Heineken's. If you're doing them, I'll be looking like twins. I'll be blurrin' that line between rape and consent. So let's get outta here now before you get the spins. Cause if we're both too wasted, then nobody wins. I won't lie before tomorrow mornin'. I'm gone just bein' honest. Cause I ain't in between when you're wrong. So don't worry. Ain't gonna put your name in the song. Oh, we gotta do it on Boxcouch. I live with my mom. I live with my mom. I live with my mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. Yo, what's up, people? My name is Shank Flo. And I'm with my boy, Little Sean. And we're gonna bring the rap battle at the Adam Shankman special to the streets of Los Angeles today. Starting right here on Hollywood Boulevard. Hey, I don't know if you guys like rap music, but we're freestyling. Yo, check it, check it, here we go, here we go. Yo, check it, check it, yo, here we go. Check it, check it, here we go, here we go. Now check it, yo, flow, show, show, show, show. I will check it, check, check, check, check. Yo, your turn, bro. Yeah! Tuna fish money, tuna fish money. Tuna fish money. Tuna, tuna, tuna, tuna, tuna fish money. Kanye West, do you wanna battle me? Got Johnny Depp on the streets. Yo, man, check it, check it. I see your pale ass with your nasty shears. I could beat your pale ass for years. Motherfucker, give me a haircut. I'll fuck you till your motherfucking bare butt. Check it, where you going, honey? Could you battle me, Little Sean? You would think you're all down with your stupid jacket and your all-time-hungry. You're so gay, bro, that you use a crooked hand when you go stupid jacket like a fucking snake underwater. You think you're the best, that's Puerto Rico. Mira, tú no entiendes mi lengua, querido. All I heard was this. Nanana, nanana, mamana, mamana, blablabla, blablabla, blablabla, blablabla, blablabla, yeah, Puerto Rico. I'll see you in the third grade, brother, peace. Woo! I don't think that this little kid could beat me. Don't you know that a woman's so easy? What's your name again? I'm pretty sure it's Stevie. it's Stevie. Hate to say it, buddy, but your rhymes are so cheesy. Man, I beat that kid. Oh my God, here we go. Round and round, you've got the beautiful skin of a woman. That's right, I haven't been with a woman since 1999. You got the smoothest legs since Elvis' wife. What do you have to write about that? Yo, you're so fat, I can't tell you from the front or from the back. You look like Andy Milkenakis. That's the life. I feel like a little kid going up to you like you're gonna molest me. You wanna battle me? I see you panicking. You messed up cause your girls are freaking mannequin. Kid, what? You look like Elvis Costello. You need to kick back and act like cause you're fucking too mellow. Check it because I'll play your ass like a cello. Make it, make it lick, make it stick. Make it lick, make it stick. Ooh. I'm on the court, white boy can't jump. Oh shit, he just broke into me. Yo, yo, yo. I could rap you any day because you have spots on your back. Bus riders on the rail. A girl riding the bus, it takes mad endurance. We're all right now cause we got no car insurance. I don't worry about me. Bus, uh, on the bus, uh. Yo. Yo. Right now, guys, it's time to start the Rap Olympics. Yo, Medicaid and Machines, I want you guys to be a part of this, alright? Ladies and gentlemen, who here wants to rap? Alright, yo. I'ma go first. It's okay cause I didn't even rehearse. But you're still gonna get smashed. And when we're done, everybody's gonna laugh. Woo! My name's Sean Park. I'm a really bad dude. You mess with me? You better not. Yeah. I'm big. I'm bad. I'm crazy. You wanna drink two sandwiches? No thanks. Whoa. Let's cut that. Kazoo, look this way. Concentrate, boy. There we go. Nice, Kazoo. Look this way. There you go. Steady. Ah, show your face, Kazoo. There. Nice. Okay, good. Moving on. Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Where'd you learn how to rap like that? That shit was ill! Popcorn. One two, one two. I told you last time, battling ain't my style. I'm way more crush-gruel than I ever was eight miles. But I'll step up, I gotta set popcorn. Rocket, you got porn? I'ma come through and straight stomp. Yeah, there's no way I'ma close a battle to Willy Wonka. They know me about me. I'ma send his wack ass straight back to the factory. Yo, I'm Gangsta, I'ma shoot ya. And you'll be home jacking off your loopa-loopa. Yo, I let you out your cage. Full of rage with your goofy ass hands. Your little mustache and your little eyes. But I still like you and I still give you my chocolate. Cause that's how I roll, cause I'm Willy Wonka. And I'm not your wife. You must be tripping like trying to crip-walk in flip-flops. You must be tripping like trying to crip-walk in flip-flops. Yeah, I rock that DJ 6 block. The R-A-W, I'll come up from under you. I'll take this microphone and took it upside your head and bludgeon you. Hey, nice shoes, where you can get those? At an outlet store in Camarillo. That's a good place to shop. I heard I get a 10% discount. It's a pretty good deal. I don't get any money for saying that. But I'm keeping it real. I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I So basically I'm in the show and I'm smart as fuck. What, what? No, seriously, what, what? I got water in my ear. I went swimming earlier. So I gotta shake it up to the right. Shake it up to the right. Pierre, shake your ear to the right. So you can get the water out and the water pours out and it clears up your hearing, y'all. Your hearing, y'all. Your hearing, y'all. Your hearing, your hearing, your hearing, your hearing, your hearing, your hearing, your hearing. A to the A to the A to the R to the I-N-G. This is it. Do we want to see your champion, episode four, Adam Shankman special, be Tom? Do you want MC Pierre? MC Pierre, give it up. Give it up. The trophy, the trophy. Ladies and gentlemen, I need you to play his favorite song, which is number, number four. Here we go. We only do this. No, I'm sorry. Hold, keep holding that. Get a facial expression of him like you just won. Just stay there for one minute. Before we bring up your headliner, your special guest tonight, we have to go out with style. Only the best song of my lifetime is exposed right here to this MC at the Rap Olympics. Play, sir. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait. Okay guys, please stand. Oh, sorry. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your headliner, Mikey Post! You don't have to at all. If I fall under fragile. Okay, sorry. I really need this job. I hope I get this job. I really, really need this job. Okay, have a seat. Do you need help? No, there's no need. I'm a little chicken walking. Sorry. It's a little climbing. I might get up. Okay. And he's up. And he's up. You have no idea who this guy is. He's been in more feature films than I will probably ever be watching in my life. Or in, what is what I meant to say? He is a professional actor. You've seen it in such films as... Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler, maybe. Huh? No? Yes. You've seen him in movies such as... Black Knight with Martin Lawrence. Any Black... You've seen him in... Horror movies such as Rest Stop 1 and 2. He was a very scary cancer patient. Okay. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. I think I got that one already. B, you are so awesome. I wanted you to autograph my breasts, but I didn't bring a pen, so I stand where you just touch them, my big old tinkies. This is wonderful. Touch those shit. Touch them, thank you. They don't bite. Oh wow. Oh, okay. Thank you, Mikey. Mikey, do you have anything to say to her? Anything for the fans, baby. Anything's fine. Okay, we are true artists, Mikey. Listen, this is the part of the show, Mikey has to get out of here, he has a shoot in the morning, and you guys have been wonderful. This is the part where I am gonna open up an open Q&A, Mikey agreed, open Q&A. Anybody have any questions for Mikey? Something. I'm gonna ask you something. Everybody's got a question. You people come up to me every day of my fucking life, you got some questions, I know those are questions. Oh, sir, right here, right here. Hi. Yeah, I have a few actually. Oh, hi, sir. Hi. Problem is, is I'm meticulously prepared to interview Dustin Diamond from Saved by the Bell. Then I prepared in the same fashion for Tom Green. And neither of them showed up. But the irony of the situation is, I always ask every guest on this show questions about Saved by the Bell and Tom Green's career. So, here's my questions for Tom Green. Will you put your bum on me? If you'll allow it. Yes. All right. I'm not sure how to address you. Because the media has twisted the words around regarding your situation. I'm not sure to go, I know the M word's bad. D word, not too good. LP, not too cool. Very cool, okay. Is it cool if I go with yellow brick road paver? At least in my opinion. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. But it shows I'm working. Thank you. That's awesome, awesome. What is your name? My name is Scott Bowser. And where are you from? San Gabriel Valley news group. Wonderful, Scott. Those were wonderful questions. Mikey, thank you very much for answering. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mikey Sam. I'm Adam Shankman. We are going to go out in style with Chorus Line. Oh, God, I need this. Oh, God, I need this. Oh, God, I need this. Oh, God, I need this. I need this job. I really need this job. Hi, I'm Adam Shankman, and I'm an actor, and I've been comedians for my whole life. I grew up with my Jewish family. They're all here tonight. They go to every single show. I have a sister that dresses up in white face. My dad works for a roofing company. My mom's a special ed teacher. I really have no talent. I rip off every comedian I've ever seen in the 70s. I'm a real has-been. I wear a suit. I wear a bow tie. I do it at shows. I have my own special. This is episode four, and everybody's here tonight to see Tom Green. I'm a real honor to be here at the Echo Park Film Center, right? Echo Park, where a lot of Mexicans have big butts. And I am doing what I'm doing because I'm going to be the biggest star in the world. I'm Adam Shankman. Oh, God, I need this job. Oh, God, I need this job. My name is Mikey Post, and I was just a replacement for Tom Green, so I didn't really care that I was here, and nobody really knows who I am, but I really was in a few movies, and I really do act, and I wasn't lying about that part. And people talk about Oompa Loompas tonight, and I get really offended when I was backstage, and I was like, well, maybe I should come out and do a little Oompa Loompa dance. People laugh. I've decided not to because maybe that would be a little insulting to other little people because there isn't that little person on stage because I came here. And my name is Mikey. Thank you. We need this job. I hope I get it in. I hope I get it in. Mikey Scott, everybody. I'm Adam Shankman. This is me. I'm Tom Green. I'm Adam Shankman Special. Thank you, Kazoo. April Hall of Shankman. Everybody's Shankman family. Echo Park Film Center. You're sound bad. Everybody here on crew, cameras, and staff. The Redicated Machines. MC Pierre. Every rap contestant. All you guys, we love you. Mikey Statt. I am D.B. And tonight, goodnight. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Comedy, bommity, beat bop, denomity. Comedy, bommity, beat bop, denomity. Yommity, yommity, bop, oh, yeah, yeah. Boys and girls, that was the Adam Shankman special season one. Yes, that's right. You were the first to ever hear the Adam Shankman special pilot. That was the audio. If you'd like to see the actual full pilot, the visual side to it, you can email shankflo at gmail.com. That's S-H-E-N-K-F-L-O at gmail.com. And you can speak to Adam Shankman through that email. Well, boys and girls, you got to meet the voice of Adam Shankman in the Adam Shankman special. And today's lesson, it was all brought to you by the imagination and what you can tap into when your imagination is hopped up on cereal. I hope you enjoyed the program tonight, boys and girls. I'm Adam Mo, and I'll see you next week with a very special surprise guest. I'll see you next week. I'll see you next week. Thank you. Cereal Bunch. Adamu. Adamu. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breakfast show. Adamu. Adamu. Adamu. Adamu. Adamu. Adamu. Adamu. Good Rose Studios is sponsoring Boogie by the River Festival on Saturday, March 10, 2012. At Space Camp 1726, North Spring Street from 3 p.m. to 12 a.m. This event is all ages and outdoors. Enjoy music and art in L.A. for this one-day event featuring bands Azatlan Underground, Sketch Monster, Rahim Cohen, and many more. Enjoy live artists as well as vendors from L.A.'s underground scene. Entry to this event is $5. We'd like to thank Skid Row Studios for sponsoring and promoting this event. Rahim Cohen for providing sound and Space Camp for providing electricity and a space for you. We'd like to thank Space to Rock, Dance, and Enjoy Life by the River. For more information, go to skidrowstudios.com and click on the events page. Hey, it's like a Super Mario here. Come on to Ragfest. First time you're at Rocket Gaming Fest. This is brought to you by our good friends at Skid Row Studios Broadcasting in downtown Los Angeles, eh? Our very big broadcast, live. Stay tuned and listen to Skid Row Studios Jet Camp. $80 plus, $5 before 9.30 and $7 after, eh? Game tournament will include Ultimate Barber vs. Capcom 3 and Mortal Kombat 9, Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition. Hey, and stick around for the chiptune artists. We have Vert, Country 4 Composer, A-Rival, Trash 80, Mr. Spastic, Evil Weasel, Quiz Wars, and DJ Micah Haggard. And for the bands, we have, uh, The Mall, and for the performance, we have, uh, The Dabba Bums, Stitchmaster, Stitchwolf, and The Killbills. And more to be announced. Like I said, stay tuned and, uh, for more info, go to skidrowstudios.com, eh? Click on the bell. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one Lila Woodcock here in downtown Los Angeles, God damn it. Here to talk to you about my brand new EP called DTLAMF. Stop breaking my balls. Lightning's owed to every woman, every insufferable bitch that's ever busted my fucking balls. I'm begging you, woman, please stop breaking my balls. You know, times is really hot in downtown Los Angeles when your clothes is raggedy and you can't afford to pay the rent. And your woman sends you an email saying it's time to call it quits. I'm talking about the low down blues. God and the devil are wrestling. And I don't know which to choose. I guess that's why they call it the low down God forsaken blues. Yeah, I'm also talking about fuck your job parts one and twos. Ain't it a bitch to be a goddamn wage slave? Lightning sure knows it is. You know, it's about time Lightning stands up and tell my boss to suck my goddamn cock. I think it's time to say fuck your job. Fuck your job. I ain't working here anymore. This motherfucker's available on... iTunes, Amazon, Bandcamp, Lightning and Woodcock.com, Spotify, and elsewhere like Moog and eMusic and God knows what the fuck else. Do you need foreclosure help? Do you want to buy a home to take advantage of the historically low interest rates and affordable home prices? Or do you want to sell your residential or commercial property? Realtor Nicholas Romo can help you achieve your real estate goals. Nicholas utilizes his skills and experience. He invests in distressed properties, marketing, finance, negotiating, and contracts to your highest advantage. Contact Nicholas today at area code 562-373-5120 or visit his informational and user-friendly real estate website at www.sellingcasas.com. That's www.sellingcasas.com. Nicholas is a licensed realtor in the state of California. DRE number 017-87685. Experience the day. Difference today. Hi. It's been two weeks. Yeah. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. I know we had a good New Year. We had... Wow. Yes. We had a really great New Year. Yeah. Yeah. Holiday. All of it was... Wow. It was... It was... It was some kind of special. Yeah. We pegged a vanilla. Yes, we did. Oh, we pegged the vanilla. Who wants more? Because let's be honest. Once you... Once you get a bite, you want to eat the whole thing. Yes, you do. That's just what it is. I mean, if you're open enough to have something shoved up your ass... The likelihood is you're open... You're open to a little bit more than that. Yeah. A little bit more than that. Yeah. So... Turns out. Turns out. Turns out. Well, welcome. Yes, welcome. And we... We're being really vague about our New Year's. Oh, are we? Okay. Okay. So I feel like we should... Share it. Go. Go with your details. So what we did is... It was just... It was a weekend extravaganza is what that was. So there was a vanilla in town, which vanilla... We were just... We were just... We were just... We were just... We were just... We were just... I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I don't know what I said. I listen later. Right. All I have to do is say, you're a topic of discussion. And he's such an attention whore. He'll be like, I must listen to them talk about wrecking my asshole. So we took him to the local dungeon. And, you know, he got a little bit of a taste of it. I got set on fire. And that was special. And I looked so, I've never been that, I've never been so scantily clad. You were very fetishy. And it was really hot. And you got a lot of compliments. Well, but I think that's because I don't usually dress that way. I mean, I really don't. I think if you usually dress that way, you would still get equally number of compliments. Because it was hot. Oh, shucks. I mean, it was really, you were in a corset with, she was in a black corset with her boobs just fucking up to her goddamn neck. And so boobish. It was lots of boobs. And I think we know how I feel about boobs. And then black ruffle panties. But then, and garters and black stockings and then black heels. And she just, oh. It was so perfect. She was just, and then she's got the purple collar. And oh, it was just so nice. It was so pretty. Oh, thank you. It was. So then that happened. And then on New Year's Day, we gave it to him good. On New Year's Day, we gave it to him good. Yeah. Tied him up. Bent over my bed. Yes, we did. Yeah. There was a, yes. And you do get very overzealous. Right? You're very. You're like. Ha, ha, ha. You were like a guy for the first time fucking somebody. You're like. Ha, ha, ha. One more. One more. And he's like, you fell out. I'm like, bitch, slow down. It's a little bit hard when you get a strap on. You don't know when you fall out because it's just not biologically attached to you. Yeah, but also you just. You were like a. You were like a dog humping someone's leg. You were so excited. You were like. It was so fucking hilarious. And that's when I was just like, bitch, you get on your side. And that's when I violated them both in my own separate ways. Yeah. They were both bent over my bed. I was doing violating things to both of them. And it was hot because, you know, like she got to watch what I was doing to him and he got to watch what I was doing to her. And so it was really kind of this interesting and and their energies were very compatible. So it worked out really, really well, which, as I had experienced where I've played with two people at the same time where their energies were not compatible and that was not good. So this was nice. And I would I would definitely do it again, although a little bit different. And they would both be tied up in their own special ways, maybe to each other. And there'd be a little bit of predicament. It's going on. And then there'd also be a little bit of tag team pegging on my part. And I said, yes, I've thought about this. Clearly. Yes. Yes, you have. So that was our New Year's Day. Yeah. That was fucking New Year. Yes. It was nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. It's definitely a it's a thing. I like this pegging the boys, you know, ensemble. Mm hmm. Yes. And then we get to do it again today. We found out we get to do it to somebody else, although he's not a vanilla, but we still get to peg another boy who is apparently not been pegged for a very long time. So there has to be training involved. And this is yes. I'm so excited. There's just nothing. There's no greater rush than being a woman and fucking a man's asshole because it it feeds into so many like, yeah, you know what? Freud was right. There's such a thing as penis envy. It just doesn't go to his level. It's not all psychotic and shit. It's like I want that power that that they have. I want them to experience what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that. And we're lucky because we can choose the size of our penis because, you know, oh, and we're nice. We have the small ones. And then there's the big one. The pussy wrecker. The pussy wrecker, which you have experience with. So, yeah, I mean, it's a it's a thrill and a half. I could I could peg all day. Yeah. If it's Tuesday, it must be pegging day or at least in my fantasies. Sure. So tonight we figured we'd start the new year off with with a glossary. Yes. Because, you know, for those of you who listen, we toss back a lot of terms, you know, back and forth. And maybe you're not familiar with with some of the things that we talk about or, you know, they're just new things to you or. Well. Yeah. So we figured we would give you the ABCs. Yes. So interestingly enough, you know, when you're putting together a BDSM glossary, where do you go? Where do you go to find this information? And I mean, you could take, you know, forever in a day and start cruising FetLife and some of the other sites to to to to get it deeper. But the easy, the fast and quick, the whore of the Internet world is Wikipedia. Right. So you go to Wikipedia to find what it is. But the challenge. Yeah. With Wikipedia, which we you all discover as we go through our particular list that we have, is that whoever wrote this, sometimes they're just fucking morons and they don't have any fucking idea what they're talking about and they need to shut the fuck up. So there's going to be a little bit of that as we go through our glossary definitions. And just so you know, I mean, there there there really are so many places online where I mean, this is not what we say here is not the end all of all everything. So. So, yeah. Yeah. Although you do need to Google those two terms we've been throwing around all day. Which one? Oh, wait. Oh, those. Yes. That you have the accurate. Yes. This is true. This is true. Because we've been talking about it all damn day. OK, so, you know, we're just going to go to something real simple. People talk about, you know, 24 seven and we're not talking, you know, about non kink world and 24 seven. It's a relationship that's just that it's a 24 seven lifestyle relationship. You live with the person. And they are in service to a dominant all the time. The dominant has them in service to them. And therefore, whatever contract that may be in place or not, but protocols and expectations are held to that standard for the duration of the 24 seven relationship. And it's a huge undertaking on both parts. There's a lot of work in 24 seven, which I have not had. And quite frankly, it's very intimidating. Right. Yeah. That would be intimidating for myself. Yeah. Well, I just there's. I mean. I already, you know, there is a certain sense of putting your dominant before before yourself. I think 24 seven just takes it to like this level that I certainly am. I'm not there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So that was the first one bullet point. Second bullet point makes me laugh hilariously. Not because of what it is. The second bullet point is aftercare and aftercare is fabulous. I love aftercare. I'm a huge proponent of it. I think that it is a definite requirement when you're doing play. I think it's a definite requirement when you're doing play. Let me read to you the definition of aftercare here and then let us discuss what might be wrong with it. Shall we now? It's like Sesame Street. Aftercare. The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events of their personal reactions to them and slowly come back in touch with reality. BDSM often involves an endorphin high and very intense experience and failure to engage in proper aftercare can lead to sub drop as these return. To more everyday levels. All right. So there's a lot wrong with that definition. Let me ask you, Nancy, after you've experienced subspace and we're going through the aftercare process, are you able to discuss the scene you just had? No. You're not able to rationally go through what we might have gone through and what you liked and disliked. Are you in that mind space? No, absolutely not. Right. And it's directly proportional to how intense the scene was. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. I don't want to talk to anybody I just don't I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I after the scene has happened, that the submissive and the dominant has had a chance to process what happened, that a discussion should not take place. But for me, in my opinion, that doesn't fall under aftercare. That just falls under having a good relationship with the submissive or dominant, that you discuss what happened and what worked and what didn't work, and what both parties would like more of or less of. I mean, that's about making sure that you have a good flowing relationship, in my opinion. Additionally, I would like to point out another point in this particular definition that was clearly written by a fucking dumbass. And that is that, for some reason, sub drop happens because of a lack of aftercare. That's bullshit. That's such bullshit. I mean, I'm sure there are instances when that is the case, but I do aftercare and sub drop happens. It still happens. Sometimes even when you won't even have a scene, like for example, you and I have intense amounts of time we spend together. When you are separated from me, you experience a certain conflict. And I think that's a really good point. I think that's a really good point. It's a certain kind of sub drop. It's not the same, but it's a certain kind of sub drop. There's what could have given you aftercare for that? I mean, aftercare for a sleepover. Right, right. You need aftercare after sex. Give me a break. That's not how it works. That's not how it goes. So that definition I had issue with in a lot of ways. Yeah. I mean, I think that, well, I don't know. I mean, sometimes there are certain things, personally, that sometimes there are things that I want for aftercare, but I can't, necessarily, I can't say it, or at least certainly not in the moment. Right after we've played, I can't, I, what am I going to, I can't say it. I just, I can't. It's not the moment. It's just not right. Something, as it is, it's hard for me to tell you things. Correct. So I'm sure as fuck not going to tell you then. Right. Well, and that's another reason why I, personally, and this is my, my style. Other people can have their own styles. I try to have multiple ways that a submissive can communicate with me. There's, I require a daily journal, and that's another, a way, there's text messaging.