What the fuck hour with random strangers, clowns, and kinks

I don't know if you noticed but Jeremy is so nicely groomed he is he is like I mean he's got like well except for he's unshaven but he has more of a goatee and his hair is cut is there a woman? it was the new year there's a woman fuck you there's a woman there's a woman no no it was the new year I mean once once a year I go and I get a haircut and I shave he had to go see family he visited his family I saw no family he groomed up it was just that time of year it was that time of year yep like your weekly bath yeah I ran into a few people who were going to see family and they groomed specifically so they'd look respectable to their family as opposed to how they normally look yeah exactly yeah they normally normally they look like like burned out drug addicts and alcoholics but I ran into one of them and they were all groomed up for the holidays and they looked real nice I was I was like damn you got a new job or so this is we're the love bite yeah we're the love bite I'm Insidious Muse and I'm Service Slut and something really interesting happened when we drove up to the studio today we were like yeah we're totally going to talk about you know XYZ we were supposed to do our year in review yes and then we saw this fantastic group of strangers on the street yes and we're like hey you know what they were clearly under the influence of something yes and so then we thought hey let's do a let's do a well maybe yeah let's do a what the fuck hour with yes no let's be more specific let's be more specific that's nice so we're we're in the parking lot and there's this group of random people that are talking about getting high and all that kind of stuff and they were like hey you know what are you doing we're like we're going to go do our kinky ass show because all we talk about is kinks and fetishes and BDSM and they're like fuck yeah and we're like let's go and next thing we know we're in an elevator with a bunch of strangers they could all be axe murderers but they don't have any axes but then you know they offered us drinks and stuff so I figured that they were okay but then I think I want to ask are there any axes in the room I don't think that that's a prerequisite for an axe murderer it is no I just want to know for my own purposes are there any I don't know Jeremy do you have any axes he's just a oh my god no axes no we're not putting anything in anybody's butt let's continue let's continue then but if we did we have beer bottles I'm just saying we're not putting anything in anybody's butts but there's always something there well there it's not emergency rooms no okay so here we are we've got a room full of people we don't know yes which is awesome yes because you can I can only imagine what are these people into right what do they do behind closed doors to give the demographic there are three penises and a vagina additional other than you and I so that is you know so people understand they may not be hearing that because there's one penis that's a little bit louder than the others yes which is awesome I have a very loud penis he has a loud penis which is fantastic and the other two are! one of them is actually named ninja which is why he's not talking because he's a ninja penis so when his moment comes you'll know oh I love that I love that that's fucking funny okay so so when when we ran into you random people and we mentioned kinky you all were like fuck yeah why don't look at me who are you asking everybody where are we addressing this question when you hear somebody say kinky kinky what do you think if you say why I'm gonna say why not okay so are you one of those people that'll try anything no I know better than to say yes in a room like this no no no we're not doing anything just take that get out of your mind we're not going to do anything tonight it's all discussion nothing's going in his butt nothing's going in your butt we don't have any lube and spit is a crappy lube I am protective of my butt but we can talk but no the question I suppose for the entire table is when you hear the terms kinky BDSM fetish what do you think of clowns clowns now that's a hard limit for me I generally think I'm being totally honest right now by the way clowns it's generally some kind of avoidance or you avoid you avoid kink you associate it with repression whoa I'm sorry did you do you not know that we're really fucking smart here whoa you gotta step it up I mean this is my first time here I don't know anything about what's going on here so the fact that you said the word avoidance means and you previously before we got on the air you admitted that you had spent a good portion of your adolescence I assume feeling very repressed sexually and therefore now that you're kind of coming out into your own the question is if you were equating kink with avoidance does that not therefore go into this idea that it's something in a in a dark closet that you've repressed but perhaps it interests you on some level but there's a fear quality I mean I guess it's something I'm not really comfortable with it's something I mean I've like when you grow up in that sort of like religious centric world like kind of all of that is lumped into one category and that category is no so once you start to explore like anything that's in that category it's like suddenly everything is sort of on the table and you have to kind of figure out like who you are and like what actually interests you and like what does not really interest you and you sort of are in a position where you can you look at it all on the same level as like this is all something I never was able to think about and I'm like but this is something I can think about now and it's like some of it is interesting to me and some of it's not yeah that's what we refer to as kinky puberty kinky puberty so I've recently undergone some kinky puberty I guess I mean it can also be you know sexual puberty because it doesn't necessarily have to be something that's kinky but it can be whatever is perceived to be kinky by a person to some people anal sex is kinky which you know in our world it's like that's Tuesday so you know it's one of those things where Tuesday for some people Tuesday is weird Tuesday is weird it's an odd day Tuesday is yesterday what do you do on Tuesday British it's not Thursday that's for sure that's for damn sure I want to hear from the vagina in the room well of course let's hear from the vagina you're a fan of vaginas I am a fan of the vagina do you when you look at yourself sexually in the bedroom do you see yourself as a submissive lover or as a dominant lover depends it can be either or what does it depend on it depends on how I feel at that moment and you know possibly how drunk I am but maybe not as he slides the bottle of Jameson over so wait the question is you said it depends on how drunk you are so do you do you feel more submissive or more dominant the more you drink I feel I think more submissive maybe when I drink and I think I like feeling submissive sometimes but that makes sense in general I'm more dominant and I kind of dominate situations is it maybe that you're dominant like in a social setting like you because it's I mean in general in just these few minutes of knowing you it seems like you do have like a loud personality and you know you kind of lead the conversation is that right sometimes okay it's an interesting mix of dominant and not dominant I don't think that that's uncommon I think that that's fairly common where somebody would have a persona that is very either dominant in one area of their life and yet they can be very truly submissive in others you see it all the times with you know CEO and very high powered businessmen that are constantly they're very A type personalities but they're constantly seeking to submit to a strong woman and hence they go to professionals dominatrix pro doms and those types so it's not uncommon is it like they want to be dominant but they don't feel like anyone else I think it's more that we have to be dominant in our everyday life so we don't want to be dominant they have the desire to be dominant but they don't have the ability to be dominant no it's that they sexually don't subconsciously they don't feel like they have the ability to be dominant no it has nothing to do with that it has to do with sexually their desires are how can you say it has nothing to do with that it has to do with their sexual desires what are their sexual desires maybe they sexually desire to feel dominant but at the same time don't feel capable of being dominant which is why they feel like they can sort of be dominant in a way of like alright make me submissive that sounds like a puzzle no no no I understand what you're trying to say I think it's a good point no well Jeremy's laughing at me I think that someone like that I didn't even know your mic was on dude someone like that someone who seeks to control the situation from down here but they're controlling everything in their life they're a fucking CEO they're running this whole company but at the same time subconsciously they don't feel like they're capable or deserving of being as controlling as they are yeah that's what I call a submissive male that's a submissive that's a submissive that's a submissive male what it boils down to is somebody who is or is not you either are submissive or dominant in your heart and some people have you know combinations thereof and there's also what I consider situational dominance or submission where you're situationally more dominant or submissive I feel like you want to be dominant you feel like I want to be? yeah you sound very dominant to me I don't want to be I am wow it's not even a situation she's made a very good point so I think but I think that the kind of person that you're describing is someone that may possibly go see a pro dom someone who would go and they'd pay for the services but at the same time you're hiring them and paying them money just one minute but wait they pay and they say hey I want this and I want this and I want you to do it like that and like that that's the person that you're describing that's somebody who goes and pays for services because they're too afraid to let go to actually truly submit they enjoy the fantasy of it but to actually do it is a greater challenge than they can actually accept for themselves because that meant that they would actually have to let go of everything or maybe they just can't realize that they really can control everything it's dominance like in a controlled setting almost that you're like controlling it but yeah but if you're paying for it you're still controlling it right? yeah absolutely absolutely absolutely but that's very different until you're not paying for it you're not controlling it yeah that's different from someone who says alright I'm gonna give you all of everything you decide what's gonna happen and that's it very different because I can't with her I don't pick from the menu I don't say hey I want this I want sometimes I ask very nicely hey can I please please please have this doesn't mean I'm gonna get it she doesn't seem like the type like the type that she would give me what I asked for yeah no no very rarely very rarely very rarely it's like fucking blue balls at the vagina sometimes aww that hurts it really does hurt sounds like it's it really fucking does hurt it does I'm sorry but nobody understands that women also have blue balls and that it fucking hurts yes it fucking hurts really bad I think I think being denied anything that you're really desiring hurts no but it physically hurts it fucking hurts the physical and the mental are really closely tied I think she's doing this thing where she's mouthing like threats over to me and I'm just like no no let's not do that well let's let's voice them what are you saying you have two orgasms a day under rule I make you have two orgasms a day you're just sitting here talking about blue vaginas whether you need them or not you're talking about having blue ovaries or whatever the fuck you want to call them okay fine that or not enough you want four you want five how many orgasms a day is the orgasm the like deciding factor like no! for you it's not about that it's about that sense of affection of feeling you know as if you are appreciated and cared for and you get that intimacy that's what it is for you the orgasms are a completely different issue and you know it you told me this show is going to get personal that wasn't personal enough for you that was personal I thought she meant for us well it would but you're having difficulty with that which I can understand that's totally I get that it's hard to be open and honest like that it is hard yeah but we're strangers so I mean we don't know you but is it worthwhile to be open and honest absolutely are you open and honest with yourself you are not sober man like at all wow okay hey so something I discovered about myself recently I am very dominant and I'm not with a girl that I just want to fuck and severely submissive with a girl that I'm actually in love with yes is that common yes and I think what that boils down to is a lot of men generally when they're really in love when it's somebody that they love they want to please them and that kind of draws out that submissiveness that you know they want to help take care of whatever it is that the person they love because it's whoever they love and if that means that they're going to bend over backwards and hurt themselves because that's what they like they'll do it and I think that's that's just been my experience I mean I may not be true for everybody but yeah but you're such a lovely man no there's it happens here and there because I've been more submissive with other people that I've been with rather than less submissive with different people so it's I think it's situational and do you for you is that based upon your emotional level with them or is that based upon level of involvement I think okay so like if I'm really emotionally involved with someone I think I'm more submissive rather than if I'm like kind of eh whatever I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that you're willing to sacrifice more that you're willing to be more vulnerable interesting because I was going a different direction fear of loss well but isn't that kind of in the same vein though same vein but very very different intentions but is that so then is that more associated with being submissive rather than dominant because as a dominant you don't show those vulnerabilities probably I feel like it's more like if I'm a dominant in that situation it's because I don't give a fuck about what I'm doing to them you know and it's not on the level of like just sex it's like on the level of hey I'm fucking drunk and I've been at this other guy's house all night pick me up you know it's on a mental level it's like fuck you I really don't care how you feel boom is that fucked up I mean I don't know is that well it certainly doesn't make for a balanced relationship but well that's not what I'm after thank god so but I mean you know it's like the certain level of dominance knowing that I have them doing that for me that establishes that you know I still have them under my thumb I can understand that no no I can understand that I've definitely been there before but it's for me in any of my current relationships that have like a dominant and submissive kind of quality to it that I in fact have to curb any of those desires because that takes away from the sincerity of the relationship for me I have to be concerned about her well-being more really than my own well-being in order to make sure that our relationship is ebbing and flowing properly so I mean I'm always fuck the amount of work that you have to put into being a dominant in a relationship is it's insane it's so much more than a submissive it is that's true well I think it's maybe different work it's different it's different it's different I mean for your service your service is fantastic you know and that's obviously a component of work but it's not I mean I'm constantly thinking you do something and I'm constantly having to figure out okay what was the motivation behind that what's going on what do we need to fix what do we need to alter I think those same things though yeah but you can't do anything about it well I choose well no but I but there's there's still on that submissive side there's still that whole like fucking obsessing like did I do something wrong did I say something wrong you know should I call them should I wait for them to call me what should I do what do I do there's a lot of kind of almost kind of going into panic mode because if there's this person that you're super interested in or you're super connected with you want to please them all the fucking time that person that person that you call to pick you up I'll bet you that they fucking feed off of that shit when you call them because they're like hey she called me exactly yeah just saying I'm sorry I know this one's horrible but it's true it is it absolutely is true it's like a pyramid of relationships for that moment they feel so special right yeah and then they just feel like shit the next day that's awesome though but see that's the thing though is that you know what you're describing you know you keep giving little nuggets little pieces just just enough just enough to keep them right there that's awful but they love it because they keep coming back a normal person which is walk the fuck away right they would just say hey this isn't right this isn't what I want no if you're sticking around for something like that it's because subconsciously you feel like you either deserve it or you want it funny you should mention that oh excuse me oh beer you make me burp no but I mean a lot of people they often ask you know why I'm so much into like the degradation the humiliation part of it and they think you know there's obviously something wrong with you if you're not if you like that and I think yeah probably on a subconscious level there is probably a piece of me that needs that as like almost like validation almost kind of like okay I am humble enough I am I'm you know I'm not getting a big head about myself you know I don't know what do you think no I I don't know I don't have an answer for that that's always been one of the struggles for you know why somebody who enjoys and there's lots of different reasons there's lots of reasons I for me personally when I'm playing with somebody doing degradation and humiliation it's incredibly important that I have dug into their brain sufficiently enough that I don't think that whatever's happening is damaging or it's something rooted in some horrible childhood trauma kind of thing that upsets me that would bother me a lot but everybody has their different reasons the reasons why they do it alright girl with a vagina what's the farthest you've gone with what with I know right that was like a random question that's an open question with what cause I mean thus far we've been pretty like you know philosophical talking about relationships and how we relate to one another but I want to get to the nitty gritty where has your vagina gone like to the last frontier to the final frontier I think kinkiest wow I don't know it depends I don't know let me try to figure out depends on what I'm trying to figure out where my boundaries are first of all let me try to prophesize where my boundaries are first of all well let me remind you it is anonymous right now unless he's running a camera over there which I think he is no what okay maybe a threesome is probably the furthest I've gone which is I guess decent I don't know that is totally decent of course that's decent it's pretty decent I'm not I'm never gonna do I'm sorry I'm saving that for marriage but you know like lame for marriage it is she's saving her butt for marriage yes I am I want that that would be awesome if that were in your wedding vows I give to you my virgin asshole I will do that at least you have something to save for marriage that's sweet shut up that's true I'm serious I'm not saying that in a demeaning way no I mean yeah there is something I'm saving for that some people don't have anything to save you have something to save you're virtuous virtuous virtuous asshole you have at least a virtue I was like many have tried but take some fucking ring uh uh I'm not doing it without that guys that's a keeper right there that is man that's a fucking keeper that's a sign that's something you can take home to your mom as you introduce your family mom does she want to anal without her fucking ring that's pretty key I should call my mom and tell her that you should hey mom I think we're on the air right now we've called your mom enough tonight though alright so no um yeah I think that would probably be my my boundary but and what was the configuration of your threesome um it was a female me and another guy okay nice and they were in a relationship but I was just kind of very cool oh yeah those are fun I'm fine I felt horrible cause I ended up no orgies no gang gangs breaking up afterwards no it was awesome it was fucking that sucks it was amazing cause I was the center of attention so it was like it was just kind of every girl's dream yes true fucking awesome it was beautiful so much better to women than to men oh my god there's just too much cock in two men yeah no there is but wait I don't understand why no way man I won't I won't my dream is to finally achieve DP no I'm down with that that sounds awesome what's DP you really want to get that close to another guy double penetration that's the thing is the idea of DP itself feels fucking awesome but then there's the whole like my balls might touch another dude no no they will it's not mine they're gonna that's rough and you could probably get like you know his jizz on you and your jizz on him oh no there's some fucking share oh god and you just you don't understand I mean if you think about it I mean all you usually see with DP is like the up close but you're like touching each other and everybody and hanging and bouncing it's more about like violating the woman in that way for me it's like the total violation of that woman you know and like wow that's what it is but I don't even think about the other guy it's the act of just this chick has both her holes filled right I don't really have that desire on either front to violate to violate both holes I don't have the urge to like violate a woman to that level I mean I certainly do you know everybody's got their things you know maybe I just don't hate women as much as you do I don't think it's about hating women it has nothing to do with hating a woman at all I'm not sure no I love men and I love to violate them I love to violate men and I love them I don't like men but I like violating them that's why you need a person in there definition of love well if they love it who are you to judge you know that's the question I love clowns who's to judge that me because clowns are evil clowns are fucking awesome I would violate them you love to violate them is that what you love about them I don't like to violate I just like to have fun because clowns are fun you obviously never saw Poltergeist as a child I did see Poltergeist and I saw it and you know what both of those movies scared the shit out of me but then I got a little older and I started fucking liking clowns I don't understand it I don't understand no trust me I'm the last person to understand my clown fetish I'm fucking totally I fucked a clown once just once just once was it a midget no it wasn't but it was amazing because he wore the nose and it was like oh clowns are video worthy wow that was amazing it's probably pretty good to be a clown that was like I mean I can't like honestly I think I plateaued after that because after that I'm just like okay I'm cool I don't want to get into any more kinky shit because I think I've done it all where do you go I've peaked where do you go from that you fucked a clown that's right where do you go from that I'm trying to find out I don't know what to tell you I don't know what to tell myself I can't help you a threesome with two clowns two clowns oh no no two clowns is surely better than one clown well maybe maybe an acrobat and a clown go for the whole circus thing what about a fire breather what do you think a fire breather could do that would be hot but I'm bummed no I've always tried to exploit this clown fetish of mine and I never could I never could and people make fun of me for it I get little clown postings here and there but wait so it's an actual fetish for you yeah it's an actual thing fucking cool well then I mean you should you should engage in role play I don't go to the circus and I'm like turned on but like I seriously went to Vegas one time and tried to go to Circus Circus on shrooms like thinking that I was going to hook up with the clown it really fucking happened that's awesome I never make it because I took too many shrooms and we started freaking out around the Venetian I could see that so we never made it so I'm like we never made it there you didn't even make it to Circus Circus no we took we were supposed to take an eighth and we ended up taking like way more than that we took like a whole half ounce or something I don't know what we did but we were supposed to we had shrooms for like the whole week long trip that we were there I think we finished them all that first night and we swore that we could row the fucking boat back to the hotel this might be the first drug story on the love bite ever yeah I just think but we were supposed to but we were supposed to I went there with the intention of getting on shrooms and fucking a clown that was my fucking goal so may I make a suggestion yes there's actually a clown prostitute my friend suggested to me but I wasn't down at the he wasn't my kind of clown he looked so sad at the Halloween after sales go and pick up a clown costume about the size of kind of the guys you dig and just have it around and the next time you're like with a guy it's not even the whole costume it's just the nose just a little red nose it's easy peasy can we do some role play I have that that's all good can we do some role play keep a nose keep a nose that's it it's hidden somewhere it might happen for you who knows what would it take for you to ask a guy to do some role playing with you or are you pretty open when it comes to asking for what you want in the sack it depends I don't know that's her favorite answer yeah it is her favorite answer depends on what no well it depends on like how long that person's been you know how comfortable we are with each other it depends on so many different factors it can't just like ask some guy to put a fucking clown nose on on the first date because he'll freak the fuck out maybe you should though maybe you should you know that now by experience I'm just gonna take a poll wait how many times has that failed just once just once it's sex the man is going to get sex if he puts a red nose on what is the answer gentlemen yes right you don't care you can hate clowns what's the question you're gonna get laid if all you do is put on this red nose so it's like do you do it or not on one hand you don't get laid and you don't put the nose on and on the other hand you get laid you get laid and you do put the nose on yes it's simple it's that simple it's that simple so the answer is we already got Vanilla's answer Vanilla alright I'm gonna chime in here chime in alright do your thing had I I've been we have a caller oh let's get just the caller can wait okay had I came in with a red nose on would I have had a higher probability of getting laid tonight see it depends he's planning just so you know just you know just just you know hypothetically hypothetically alright hypothetically sometimes you know maybe in the future I'll come in for everyone to walk maybe next time I come in maybe next time I come in but I think it takes a little more like emotional things on my part maybe we should have a little pack maybe exactly if you juggled fire and breathe fire if you juggled fire and still on stilts we'd talk about it can you juggle with your cock alright we need to bring a pack with like I'll see you next week bring the cock bring the cock with the cock kinky circus I have an idea coming kinky circus we have something kinky circus with no clowns for me do we have a collar we have a collar we have a collar collar drop that's cool what call him back call him again come on don't you have caller ID on there no don't call him back I'm getting antagonistic with these callers you know they're all stoned in their house listening to the internet just like us so this clown thing of mine I don't know I don't know where it stems from I hated the circus oh my god I knew whoa do you sleep with women sometimes I know I know just who to hook you up with is she a clown yep she's a comedian and she does a whole stand up routine as a clown I already love her can we call her well she never answers her phone but yeah let's call her is she on stilts let's call her right now no but she's a very tall woman does she breathe fire maybe I'm really short this might not work does she breathe she plays with fire does she play with fire let's do a little honor match making let's call her up you got her up I think we need some clowns in here no clearly she'll I'm not a fan of clowns I'm cool without the clowns I love clowns so now that we have the other two on the mic do you I mean I'm just curious you guys haven't said much I'm just hanging upside down from the roof do you have any in the shadows fetishes or things that might be clearly a little bit kinky kinky come on you heard about my clown shit it doesn't get any more personal than that it doesn't top that yeah but I mean we're not trying to top each other kinky is kind of a contest it's not a contest I mean I'm just saying it doesn't get any more personal than that so open up you can't you almost can't top the clown thing that's not true alright Max Max what is your fetish I'm not sure if I have a fetish some people don't yeah no but I mean you know there could be things that you really like or something you've really wanted to try but you just haven't for whatever reason a lot of people have threesome that's a big one people like DP actually you know what I think I know what my fetish is I've always liked kind of playing with girls while they're sleeping yes hot! that's one of mine that's one of mine I guess that's why that's one of mine I guess that's why I'm a ninja you know I'd be like hey are you sleeping I actually I actually had a girlfriend who told me she was like while I was sleeping if you want to it's okay that's so tight that's so tight when she told me that it was like really exciting but I never knew what to do with it you know what's awesome is that I was like she's asleep and I was like fuck her I'm kind of tired too so maybe I'll just go to sleep there's a movie streaming on Netflix I think it's called Sleeping Beauty and it is actually about people that I'm on it it's already on my key list where essentially men pay for women to be in almost a comatose state so they can fuck them it was so sad well maybe not that far not that extreme not comatose but like they go under I think it's really cool when she wakes up and she realizes what's going on and she's totally into it totally into it that makes it hot I like that too that would be great you should I highly recommend it just for you know waking people up with sex is awesome I feel like I have so much I should be done all the time like lost time I think that's a great way to start your day life is long I mean enjoy it you know every morning quick poll of these four strangers that we have in here which of you have been tied up or have tied someone up hell yeah Vanilla has tied Vanilla talk about it Vanilla has tied Vanilla let's hear some talk it's really simple you just talk I want to know Vanilla's specifics like what kind of specifics everything you have hard points in your bed what kind of bed frame are you working with is it Ikea wooden it's getting Amish built oh ouch sounds like splinters the Amish know how to build them when it's negative 32 out in Chicago you get really creative with Amish built beds wow that's just crazy you have a lot of time to spend indoors inside you spend all summer in the house all spring and summer and fall looking for a girlfriend or a boyfriend just thinking about it yeah right which is why we live in Los Angeles so it doesn't matter I was watching this show it's like you're looking for supplies for the winter yeah it is actually a commodity to last you through it's like the modern interpretation of like you know what ancient peoples had to go through it's like pilgrims and it's 32 degrees below zero for a week if you haven't already secured the supplies you're fucked for the winter so random you're not fucked you're hanging out with your boyfriend girlfriend and you're just like hey look at these silk scarves look at this rope whatever you use I don't know there's 24 hours in a day there is there's seven days a week there is there's actually a little more than 24 hours isn't it or is it a little less shut up science kids anyway that's not what we're talking about I'm so not gonna make lessons I'm sorry I'm very sorry of course Ninja would know that or to give me a spree I'm sorry forgiveness anyways alright we didn't really get into like what experiences you had tell us about it Mr. Vanilla what did you do well no I mean you just you tie them up and you play whatever games they want you to ask you no but what kind of games do you play like what did you just have sex or like did you do stuff did you tickle her that's a fetish some people have that as a fetish you know tickling is actually closely related to getting to know your boyfriend or related to getting turned on well it is it's all around your nerve clusters right so absolutely it's just like sneezing and that's actually a good indicator that you know the girl gets easily turned on if they get really tickled she's tickling you're very sensitive you're a smart guy I just watch a lot of Discovery Channel on my off time and Wikipedia we learn a lot about mushrooms and Wikipedia yeah oh my god alright okay I'm gonna pay more attention to you man you're smart the three of you there's three of us there's another poll can we pull Jeremy too yes absolutely we have four penises okay four penises I have a dick it's actually it's actually I remember it's four against three tonight gang bang gang bang of you four plus one lonely masturbator I wanna know who has had a girl on their knees looking up at them with those pleading eyes while she's sucking your cock vanilla yeah absolutely everybody I don't know I think that's pretty common I mean how else would you do it I don't know I gotta admit I haven't been there ew stop it don't say things like that to me I'm obviously not commoditizing myself enough well don't I don't want to know that about you you asked the question I asked it of the penises not of you oh oh and so there's an expectation that neither of the women on the other side of the table might have done it let's be honest there's no taboos here are there that's like a signature make sure at some point you've done it you were a cocksucking whore for a while oh damn maybe we've all been there we've all been there don't worry it's okay we've all been there as Vic Cohen says well everybody's done it right that's true right we're only humans guys we're only humans I suppose but yes but nobody wants okay see I'm going okay going back to the DP so nobody wants to fill like all three holes oh yeah totally I mean TP Three? Yeah. What other one is there? Yeah, what is that third one? Her mouth. Oh. I see. I've also seen it. I've also seen it. Why not the ear? There's two in the vagina and one in the ass. Why not add two more? It's kind of crazy. I don't know. There are some penises that are just small enough for that. Maybe. We can't neglect them. No. Small penises need love too. They do. They certainly do. More than anyone. Just a little less love. More than anyone. Their love's a lot faster. No, there's nothing wrong with that. It is. Okay, that was fun. The ninja says there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. Nope. Scientifically speaking. Scientifically speaking. I like this guy. We can discuss averages if you'd like. Apparently the average penis is five and a half inches. I've referred to Wikipedia. Wikipedia knows all. Let's move on to the average. I'm going to abstract again. Yes. Anywho. That's for another segment. So everybody said that they had either tied somebody up or been tied up. Yes. I've never been tied up. More or less. And I've never tied somebody up. But I did have a lover who was interested in that. And I felt like I was like neglecting her in a way because I never did. I never tied her up. You should tie her up while she's asleep. Well, if you didn't want to tie her up, it's not neglect. I mean, maybe it is though. And wake her. Right. If you didn't want to. But you weren't comfortable. Right. Yeah. Both sides have to be willing to do it. Sometimes you have to do something for someone that you're not super into. But if they're going to get a kick out of it. Well, yeah. But. If it tickles her. The question is. If it tickles their fancy, their fancy must be tickled. Why didn't you? Just. I don't know. We just like never got around to it. I didn't have the equipment or like. No, but it's true because sometimes you don't have any silky scarves around. You don't have any of the soft. I don't have a lot of silky scarves. Use socks or pantyhose. Or. I mean, shit. A tie. Trust me. If you want to do it. I mean. It's going to be done. I had like. I had belts. I have a whole drawer by my bed full of scarves. I get it now. I always thought that was just my scarf drawer. That's just my. No. Okay. I had belts. I was like, hey, look at this. Like. I have the equipment to tie you up. But maybe it wasn't like sensual enough or. I don't know. Everybody has their thing. I get that. So you, Vanilla, have tied but not been tied. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have no. No desire. Why have you not been tied? Zero desire. Okay. Well, that's fair. I kind of want to tie you right now. A little bit. We're both in a band and we live together, Mitch. Interesting. Interesting. Shit, man. That just kind of made their home life a little awkward. I thought. Let's just be honest. He wants to have sex with somebody sleeping and he wants to tie up his roommate. Just putting two and two together. No, no, no. You should do it while he's asleep. That's different. And wake him up. I would be a little scared if I were you. I don't know why. He's the one that wants to tie someone up while they're sleeping. But you just said you want to tie him up. And you're welcome. And Ninja, have you done both? Tied and be tied? So I'm also looking for a new roommate now. I tie my friends as well. Just for shits and giggles? Just for shits and giggles. Sorry. I hang them from trees sometimes. Vanilla, I'm evicting you. I'm sorry. Like with a noose? You've been evicted. No. Because you're a fucking ninja. Because he's a ninja. With fancy sailor knots. Ooh. Exactly. What do you know about that? You've piqued my interest. Actually, I don't know about that. I work at the pirate... Wait, no. I see Mr. Vanilla as the kind of guy that would know how to tie a knot. I can tie a lot of knots. He can tie a lot of knots. It's a striped shirt. It makes him look like a sailor. He is a sailor. I've been telling him that all week. That he looks like a whaler. Like he needs a harpoon. He needs to be tying knots. No, you know what though? But I look at Vanilla and I think, this guy, he's doing a little bit more than he's letting on. Yeah. He's not being personal enough. Yeah. He's a man of mystery. He's a sexy motherfucker. He might also be more ninja than I am. Possibly. That's impossible. Is there something that you're keeping from us, Vanilla? What am I saying? Are you really not as Vanilla as your nickname would imply? Are you French Vanilla? French Vanilla? I don't even know what that means. Are you a swirl? Are you a sprinkle? I'm more of a swirl. I don't know. Vanilla is a man. What does that mean? I ought to tie you up. I don't understand. Vanilla is a man. Vanilla is a man. It's intuition at this point. I ought to tie you up while you're- He's a man of the world. He's a man of the world. They're very logical expressions. So Vanilla meaning that you're not into kink. And then we go, oh, are you a sprinkle? Which means you're like, you're Vanilla, but you have a little bit of sprinkle on you. A swirl means you're kind of a little bit half and half. Actually, the name Vanilla solely came from the fact that he's white. Like really white. Like, he's white. He's really white. Well, now it's taken on a different meaning. I'm just being real with you guys. He was talking about the cold winters. So of course he's white. Anyway. Because not white people don't live in those cold climates, except for Detroit. That is so not true. Yeah, Detroit, chocolate city. Chicago, chocolate city. White people pioneered cold climates. Put these sunglasses on and we won't be able to see you. And then you can talk freely. You and your wraparound sunglasses. Do it. Put them on. Whatever's- Do they know it's radio? Way too late. That is too little too late. Random what the fuck hour. What the fuck hour we've ever had. Too little too late. I feel like we should have been drinking or on some sort of hallucinogenic drug for this. We have. This was simply not- We were. Where were you? Well, we were driving. The reason that this is called a what the fuck hour is because things are said and done. And then I look at you and I'm like, what the fuck? Exactly. Is that what this hour is called? What the fuck? What the fuck did I get myself into? We invented a what the fuck episode many moons ago when we didn't know what we were talking about. And all of a sudden we just started talking and then we looked at each other like, what the fuck? What are we saying? It was awesome. This is definitely a what the fuck hour. What the fuck episode. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of wild cards. Clowns. Clowns. A lot of clowns. A lot of clowns. And yet you don't have a single clown tattoo. Not yet. I see this. I see this happening for you. Like right on your vagina. Like right on your pussy mouth. Well, next episode, let's get a tattoo artist in studio. I don't think so. I'll do your tattoo. No. He'll do it. He heard the word vagina and he's like, I'll do it. Mr. Ninja, he's a brilliant artist. He's a really good artist. I can do really good red noses. Really good. He did. Doesn't that sound like super hard? You'll probably be turned on every time you look at it. Wow. Let's not and say we did. That was a fantastic line. Anyway, kudos to you, Ninja. Thank you. This is sick. Thank you very much. No, no, no. I don't have a clown tattoo yet because I haven't found the right clown. Okay. There's gonna be one clown that I find one day. I'm just gonna walk into a tattoo shop and it's gonna be on the wall. And then we do like. It'll probably be my shop. No. Have you considered looking on the interwebs? I've looked. I've looked hard. I've looked long, but then I always end up trailing off to clown porn. And then it just doesn't work out. Is there even such a thing? I know there's foot fetishes, but wow, that's outrageous. Clown fetish is really tricky that way. What's the most outrageous fetish you've ever encountered? Well, let's start on this side. Encountered? Oh yeah. I've been in a lot of clown fetishes. I've been in a lot of clown fetishes. I've been in a lot of clown fetishes. I've been in a lot of clown fetishes. I mean, there's some pretty wild ones out there, but. Let's go clockwise. It's 2013. There's some really, you know, new. Fetish? Clowns? What is it? Fetish is out there, I assume. I don't know. Can you fill me in on this? I still think cake farting is pretty funny. Cake farting? That's definitely a first. I don't know what it's called, but the balloon one. Have you heard about the balloon one? I've heard about the balloon one. It's got a little bit of a. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't. It's got a name. Okay, so. Tell me. Tell me about it. These people like to have sex on these big balloons, and either they like it not to pop when they come or to pop, and it just depends on which side that they're on, because there's either vehemently they want it to pop and vehemently they don't want it to pop, but that's kind of an odd one, I think. I hear you. And especially since Nancy has this massive fearophobia of balloons, so that would be bad for her. That would be really bad. So you don't like balloons, you don't like clowns. I'm taking neither of you to the circus. I just stay away. I'm cool. That's me. She's very suspicious of them. How big of a balloon are we talking about here? It's a pretty sizable balloon. Are they like yoga balls? I don't know if they're quite yoga balls, but they're pretty big. They're much bigger than regular like party city balloons. Where do you get these balloons, just out of curiosity? I bet you can get them on the web. Just throwing that one out there. Hugeballoons.com. I hear it's pretty big in Canada, actually. So big latex balloons. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Make sure you don't have a latex allergy though. That's very important. That would be fun. That is definitely. That's really a bummer. I'm sure they make vinyl balloons. Where do you go from there? They probably make vinyl balloons or maybe you can get a mylar balloon. Mylar. That seems a little uncomfortable for the sex, but. That sounds hot. I don't know. Mylar? The word just mylar? What if your fantasy is to be in the balloon? Aluminum. I'm sorry, what? What if your fantasy is to be in the balloon? That's kind of hot. I kind of like that. I like that too. I would love to be in the balloon. I could be in the balloon. I could be in the balloon. I could go with some circus fantasies like the trapeze and stuff like that. That would be cool, but no clowns. What are some next level fantasies? Of 2013? Of 2013? We're talking about a fucking new era of the Mayan calendar. It's a new dawn. Some say it's a golden age. You know what? We need to come up with some new kinks. I want this to be the year where you have me do forced hetero. Oh. Forced hetero. Are you serious? Mm-hmm. Well, how many penises are there? Do you have a penis? I have a penis. Oh, I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. You have a willing slave over here FYI And then the more you ignore him And the more you shut him down The more he's just right there I can kind of juggle I'll try to juggle I'll just throw shit up in the air Call it juggling Do you like ninja clowns? How do you feel about ninja clowns? No, no Backflipping clowns? No, no, no Clown makeup What about you though? I'm listening What are you doing? Do yourself this year Are we discussing sexual resolutions right now? Yes I don't know What's yours, bitch? I want to hear what the room has to say I have a concept You know how we do the live porn parties And we do the pegging parties And stuff like that I want something very similar But I want slave stations So I want people to be around In various positions With various things Like a head harness You know, a dildo or whatever In various places And dominants can come in And use each of the people In their slave stations As they so wish Let's do that Let's do all of that Let's do that That sounds like a party Let's do that I'm not nearly as excited As you guys are, but I want a clown station Let's do a clown station Well, the clown station Could be in the tiniest closet That I've ever seen I can do tight spaces For a while I can do tight spaces Doesn't that sound fun? It does Like the little slave stations? Yes And they'll be bound In different ways And be used Let's do that I can do clown makeup You can do that Apparently we're going to have Face painting At this party Face painting Balloons Well, no balloons And cake Balloons would have to be In a different party Is there a petting zoo? Is there a petting zoo? Yes A petting zoo Because we will have A heavy petting zoo There actually is an event Called the heavy petting zoo Really? Yeah Because people like to Dress up as animals That's part of their play Their pet play Wow And then you can pet them You can actually do lots of Right, around the table What animal would you be? Oh, I would be a bird of prey Like a hawk Bird of prey? Wow A dog I'd be a giraffe Frog I'd be a cat Yeah, I see that Some kind of marsupial Definitely A koala? I guess a kangaroo Let's go kangaroo A kangaroo What's that? A dingo You want a couch? I think you look like a dingo He wants a couch Yeah I'm sorry I'm curious Why a frog? This really Vanilla said he wants He's a frog He got called out Yeah They glow in the dark What? What are you talking about? You mean that one frog That that person licked And got high off of? That's the frog you want to be? You want to be the licked frog? Wait, which frog is that? Tree frog Tree frog An Amazonian tree frog With big red eyes That sounds pretty poisonous Perhaps, yeah Okay I'm specifically thinking of A frog that's A frog that Okay, so in When you go really far north In the United States North America Like Canada Perhaps like Oh boy You're so far out in the middle of nowhere There we go That the tree frogs Actually glow in the dark Not because they They physically produce them And they glow in the dark But there's like A fungus that glows in the dark What? Anyway Why are they Anyway they're also poisonous I have no idea why I would be a frog Tree frog Is it because you can jump A poisonous North American tree frog? Tree frog Yes, tree frog North American If I had to pick a tree frog It'd probably be Some kind of South American tree frog Those cool Amazonian ones Yeah Yeah, right They'll kill people I mean, I guess That's pretty mainstream Okay, so Don't give him an axe Got it Because he's clearly An axe murderer And why a giraffe? I think I saw an axe Why didn't Thank God Ninja Because a giraffe Is very non-ninja-y Maybe it's a They don't hide You know Their fur is actually Camouflage Well More or less But you know They're really tall Did you know that? We could blend in We could blend in With tall things Wait, have you guys Seen giraffes fight? Because I did not Know until recently That giraffes actually fight Like they use their head Like a wrecking ball On that long neck of theirs To just I did not know that To bash the fuck Out of each other And then they actually Claw with their I had no idea I just thought they were Like decent Hard-working animals That just had to get A little higher Than everyone else They're still herbivores Right? Yeah, they're herbivores But territorially They'll fight They're black tongues They'll fight for I thought they were purple They're black Black now Blackish Wow, 2013 I could be wrong They're dark The tongues? Yeah, they're like Black purple There you go Black purple They're really ugly Go to the LA Zoo We derail your show a lot I feel really bad For the animals When was the last time We talked about giraffe tongues On your show? I know some people Who would probably enjoy Giraffe tongues What are some fetishes Of animals do we know? Let's call someone right now That has interest in Giraffe tongue fetish Do you know any Off the top of your Phone book list? Do you know any Giraffe tongue? No, but I do know Some people that are interested That I have actually seen And it's kind of disgusting People that have had Sex with dogs I heard that's a new thing Actually I read an article online About a man who had Sex with a dolphin Well, they are pretty Hung actually Well, he actually He was a male He had sex with A female dolphin Dolphins are actually He claimed to have A telepathic link With a dolphin Like the dolphin Wanted him to I think I saw that Documentary Totally sane That dolphin wanted To get fucked Well You know Just like that sleeping girl You know, dolphins are actually The only animals Aside from humans That have sex For pleasure If you're going With a dolphin I thought chimpanzees Did as well The dolphin's got A good 200 pounds On you at least And they're massive You can't fight a dolphin Like if a dolphin Wants to fuck you And they're slippery That's the way It's gonna go They're the only Other mammal In the animal kingdom That rapes Is that right? Oh yeah They're vicious Vicious Well, this was like A male Did you see the episode Of King of the Rings? King of the Hell Where they raped Hank Hill And he got a refund I would love to see that Well, because it was King of the Hill So we know it's reality I've been watching King of the Hill Mike Judge doesn't lie Mike Yeah That's right The inventor of Beavis and Butthead I heard a story About Mike Judge Did you know? Yeah Wait, let's go back To the wild animals They're rebooting The Beavis and Butthead Unless Mike Judge Had any fist up his ass I don't think anyone here cares They're rebooting The Beavis and Butthead And they were like It's such a challenge To write for this show Because we can't come up With a shit That's dumb enough I see this Because people are so dumb I see this Anyway, back to the animals Back to the animals I'm actually curious You know, that's another thing I'm into Is like not only clowns But it's also the people Who dress up in those Furry costumes Furries You like furries? Yeah That's cool Do you have a Chewbacca thing at all? Just curious I love Star Wars See, that makes sense What if I came in In a Chewbacca costume With a big red nose No, no Just no Exactly That must make you Like orgasm on spot Your key is ninja Just go full on Ninja No No You have to come out Of nowhere with a red nose No matter what he does He's a ninja I just might jump in front of you With a red nose Nope And you just might buckle Don't work Nope Wow You just might Nope And this is the North American Dating ritual You don't have to be On fucking stills Juggling chainsaws Let me tell you Let's fucking put it To the test then It's a challenge issued Nope See you next week Do it man I'll help you What about furries? It appeals to you Um Um! I don't know Maybe it's the Anonymity of it all Hmm Hmm Hmm You should try Full body latex suits Just saying Like the one that was An American Horror Story Oh shit Like that What about something like Cousin Cousin It From the Addams Family How would you feel about that? Is it masks? Does that kind of Turn you on? Is the face like Maybe Yeah Maybe Is it Like with face paint? Is it like Anonymous sex? What about Darth Maul? Would you fuck Darth Maul? No I wouldn't Because you can see his face He's too horny Well oral sex would be unpleasant What about Boba Fett? He has a mask Boba Fett totally Exactly He has a mask What if you took that helmet off though? It's the mask mask Benchango Fett Alright let's say Benchango Fett Hang on This is not the business Are we Are we Are we Off track? I was down I was down for Darth Vader Right before I found out What he actually looked like Uh Third episode Where's the mask? Did not work What if it's like a bionic cock though? Well you have a whole Six more episodes That they're gonna make You can have another fantasy Wow But it's gonna be Disney though So Do we have any Fictitious fetishes? Like fetishes based on like Fictitious characters Like What if it's Star Wars one? Star Wars like Boba Fett Anything from Lord of the Rings Except for the dwarves Hmm Gimli Fuck Gimli Man I don't like Harry My axe No I had a dream the other day I was a female Legolas There you go That hot No I mean I have to say That's fucking hot Cause Legolas by himself Was pretty fucking hot Orlando Bloom did that I was less elf-izey Cause that was like douchey But you know the rest of it was cool Orlando Bloom did that What if I came with elf ears And a big red nose I think we're out of time you guys Shooting arrows Yo