Episode

and contact. I'm going to thank him forever. I'm going to thank him forever. I'm going to wait. Pizza, pizza, pizza party, motherfuckers. Pizza, pizza. Okay. Hey, what's up, kids? Hey, it's Adam O. I'm in Los Angeles. You're listening to Skid Row Radio, and I'm with my boy. I don't even have a boy, but that's what they say on the air as I speak into the microphone. I have a lot of energy tonight because I met 15 people today at a coffee shop. Ah, ah, ah. All right, calm down, monkey boy. Calm the fuck down. I'm becoming a monkey. I'm a monkey, and I can't help it. I didn't mean that in any direction, shape, or form. I meant that because I have a thing on my back that winds up, and I become animated and hyper, and I don't get to show myself, myself. All right, so you're listening to the Adam O. Podcast. Welcome to Skid Row Radio. Let me catch my breath. If you want to call in the show, please call in 800-893-9562. That's 800-893-9562. Now, guess what, kids? Dun-da-da-dun. Let me use this kazoo over here. I'm having trouble blowing a fucking kazoo. Hold on. Motherfucker. You should see me right now. It's not that funny. I need to go to the dentist. You ever hear a bad breath on a radio show? I have. Hey, what's up, daddy-o? It's Adam O. So anyways, forget the kazoo. Let's move right along to our guest today. Well, our guest is a very special young man. He lives in Los Angeles. And he's here at the Adam O. Podcast. I like those silent beats. Radio tunes everybody in. It gives them a breath. It's from Monkey Boy. Catches you up to the show. His name is Mike Stash. Now, Mike Stash is a triple threat here in Los Angeles. He has one of those mustaches. Takes him around internationally to different competitions. And he's here to tell us about his legendary mustache, Mike Stash Jr. And his sidekick. And his sidekick, Curly. And, of course, his manager is here. Hello. Hello. Say hello to his manager. Hi, I just wanted to thank you for having my client on your show. And for me as well. What's your name? My name is Kitau Sakurai. I'm Mike Stash's manager, business manager, accountant. And it's just such an honor being on your show here. Thank you very much. And so you do not book your client on just any show. Is that correct? I mean, we'll take a lot. But, you know, we have certain standards. And, you know, we did a lot of research into what your show had to offer. And you approve of his little groupie over here, Curly. Oh, Curly. Hey, Curly. Hi. How are you doing, Curly? Oh, I'm doing great. I'm honored to be here tonight. You're honored as well. And so this really feels, folks, if you're watching this show or listening to skidrowstudios.com, it feels like one of those UFC matches right now. It's Mike Stash. You should see his face right now. It's Stone Cold Silent. Please welcome, boys and girls, the legendary mustache champion of Los Angeles Triple Threat, Mike Stash. Hi, Adam. Thanks for having me. Can I speak? Please. I just got asked for permission. He's very protective of the words that come out of my mouth. My client has a beautiful presence, and I just want to protect that. Okay, so let's get this straight. You're a triple threat here in Los Angeles. You bring your manager to my podcast. To protect your stash. Let's talk. Hey, there's a cough button here, daddy-o. Let's talk about your mustache. What does the mustache mean to you, Mike? It means power. It means success. It means that I'm on top of the world because this mustache is number one in the world. Okay, this is going great, kids. So, Curly, are you into him just because of his mustache? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that the mustache represents his entire essence, and so I don't think you can have one without the other. But, yeah, the mustache was the first thing I saw, and I haven't been able to keep away ever since. Hmm. Interesting. So, about the mustache, what competitions has it entered? Went to the Bearded Mustache World Championships in Norway. Well, that's a no-brainer. Hmm. That's right. Won that one. Nailed it. Hands down. That's right. Hands down. That's right. Went to Arizona to the Tucson Dirty 30. Dirty, dirty, dirty bearded men. Mm-hmm. And I took that one. Hands down. We murdered those motherfuckers. Bloody, bloody, bloodbath. Like, just bloodied. Bloodied. They couldn't compete. No. Now, do you require your entourage here, your manager and Curly, your little groupie, to wear mustaches too? I told Curly to grow one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But she didn't want to do it. It's okay. I mean, Katao got some tricks up our sleeves to get her nice and hairy. Yeah. Yeah. Now, how old were you when you first grew Little Stache Jr.? Thirteen. Milk a cow and give it shoes. Are you kidding me? I've had a lot of testosterone my whole life. And you don't wear sunglasses because you just want your mustache to show. That's right. That's right. You don't want people looking at your eyes. No. Or your glasses. It's all about the lip. Do you have a lot of hair on your body? No, it's only on my lip. You're not gay? I am not gay. You're straight? Ask Curly about that one. Bisexual. Curly, am I straight? He's straight. The reason I ask that... I'll chime in and say Mike Stash is bisexual, but... Exactly. I mean, who's to say? No, who's to say? I just want to leave it open for the bisexual championships in Taiwan next year. Those are very important championships, and they are open to bisexual men. Wait, wait, wait. Let's get this straight, Mr. Manager. In Taiwan, there's a beard and mustache competition. There's a beard and mustache competition for bisexual men. I mean, there's three categories. There's the straight competition, the homosexual competition, the bisexual competition. And I think that Mike Stash has the greatest chance of winning the bisexual competition, so we want to leave that open. So... Yeah. You know, so... Could I chime in? Yeah, yeah, please. I would say that regardless of his sexual orientation, I think that he's definitely a sex symbol to everyone. And, you know, I think that he also sees the beauty in everyone, and his... Wait, wait, wait. Let's get this straight. You're talking about a mustache here. Well, yeah. You're not talking about Roman Polanski. You're talking about a mustache. Yeah. Yes, I am. I'm talking about... Describing him like an ancient poet. Well, would you describe him any other way? Curly, what else do you do besides follow him around town? Um, I mean, that has a lot of duties that go along with it. Do you like women? Yeah, I love everyone. We have a lot of fun together. And what does that fun consist of? Well, I mean, one of my greatest joys in life is just waxing his mustache. And how does your manager feel about Curly waxing his mustache? Um, I'm going to advise my client to not comment so deeply on that, except to say that, you know, he enjoys his mustache, and that he's hopeful that he's going to win the bisexual men's championship next year in Taiwan. I just want to chime in here. I'm not really comfortable talking about that competition on the air. Get out. We're hopeful we're going to take that competition, you know, that thing that we're talking about. No. Okay. Okay. Now, getting back to this bisexual Taiwanese competition. Yeah. How did you become bisexual? Well, some people think I am. It's still up in the air. But nothing's wrong with that, according to Curly or myself or the rest of the listeners. Hey, listen, if you're listening to this podcast right now and you want to tune in and talk about bisexual Taiwanese boys, please call 800-893-9562. You're listening to Skid Row Radio. And we're with Mike Stash, his manager in Curly. Go on, Mike. I just have to say that, you know, I'm a man. And, you know, I could like other men, but I really love women. Now, did you get into stripping at an early age to grow a mustache, to become a champion mustacher, and to come on my podcast and wear a spirit hood? A wolf spirit hood? It's my spirit animal. And no, I do not strip with this hat. I like to call it my cougar cap. I attract all the older ladies. Why does Curly just stare at you and smile? It's a little creepy. She just can't stop looking at this beautiful mustache, a gift from the god. It's true. Okay, I don't know if this is real or fake, but this is good shit. Good internet right here. All right, so moving right along, I have a question for you. Okay. What do you think? What do you think about when you wake up in the morning and you look at your face and you have this big, overgrowing piece of hair that comes on both sides of your face and it flips into many curls? Are you smiling every day? Or are you looking at yourself and you're like, damn, I need a reset? I'm smiling, man. People love this thing. I got fans all over the world. So would you consider yourself a hipster? No, but I've got a lot of hipster fans. What is a hipster to you? Someone that tries a little too hard to be different. And you're wearing a spirit hood. Okay, great. I'm just different, man, from the inside. Well, yeah. From the outside. I get that. And it's an honor to have you on the podcast. Thank you very much, Mike. Thanks for having me. I'd like to speak for my client and say that my client is very honored to be here. Well, that's an honor, too, to have you here. So what else do you do besides manage mustache dudes? I manage a great variety of clients. You know, my client, Mike, is a great example of the kind of clientele that I manage. I also manage some bearded gentlemen that are competing. And also some women that compete in toenail companies. Now, did you get into men? No. Managing beard and mustache people. Hey, the beard and mustache people. Did you get into managing mustache people by the nightclubs, the discos, the European boogie nights? I mean, how did it come about picking up clients with mustaches and beards? What about actors or models, people that are human beings? You know, it was funny, Adam. I was actually managing. I was managing Mark Ruffalo. He was my primary client. And then, like you said, I started going clubbing, you know. And I just saw all these guys with these great mustaches and these great beards. And I said to myself, you know, these guys are underrepresented, you know, in terms of having a good business manager, you know, a good manager in general. You know, somebody to shape their career. And I said, you know, I'm going to be a good manager. And that's when I stepped in. And Mike Stash actually was my first client. And, you know, together we won the regional mustache championship in Iowa. And then moved on from there nationally, internationally. You know, we wrote a book together, Mustache Care. It was just a, you know, as you say, like a one-on-one. One-way road way to success. Yeah. Great. Okay. So, yeah, I have to agree with that. Well, let's talk about Los Angeles. What competitions did you enter in Los Angeles? There was a competition downtown. Involved a lot of homeless men. Because, you know, homeless men do have facial hair. But still, I won that too. Hands down. Hands down. That was a beautiful competition. That was a good one. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't know for the smell, but it was good. Now, I want you to just... Curly was there. Now, I want you, Mr., you know, Mike Buckle... Mike Stash. Mike Stash. Sorry about that. I want you to tell us about your mustache. Describe it. Let the viewers use their imaginations. It's kind of like a beautiful summer's day. Okay, let's get real now. No, no, we're getting real. We're getting real here. You know, the sun. It just blossoms and rises. It's kind of like my mustache. It curls up around sunset. And you've just got this beautiful aura around it. It's quite nice. All right, you do realize that I am filling an hour talking about a mustache now. Come on. Seriously. Let's get serious. Well, you did invite me here. That is true. But I want to know about the mustache. Not about the poppies and the shit that comes out of it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I want to know about your mustache. Ketal, do you want to inform him? What color is it? Yeah, I mean, I would like to chime in here and say that my client's mustache is 10 inches wide. And at the curling ends, it rises four inches. It's a dark auburn color, a lush, shimmering auburn color with flecks of gray that make it a much more manly sort of invigorating experience. to behold. It's, again, it's very lush, you know, it's a classic handlebar type mustache. But what accentuates it is Mike's beard, which is unusual for a mustache competitor like my client. But Mike's dash is not afraid of having hair on his chin. So you get invited into all the top parties here in LA. Oh yeah, I'm kind of a celebrity these days. Yes, you drive. Curly drives. Curly's not saying much, she's just smiling again at you. I can't help it. Curly, what are you wearing? What am I wearing? It looks like you cut up a clown. I did, yeah. It looks delightful. Thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, look at me, there's no comparison. You're way more attractive than me. You're more beautiful as well. Well, thank you very much. Appreciate that. I mean, Adam, if you want to test drive that young lady over there, you know, I'm sure Curly would like to show you a few things. I actually am quite good at driving, that's why I do that. All right, now we're getting into what I like to do on the Adam O Podcast is start by breathing, meditation. So Curly, what were you talking about? Your body. Oh yeah, I was, and yours, yes. I really like the purple for everyone who can't see. So what's the chances of me entering one of these mustache competitions if I was the girl? I don't know. I don't know. How would you say you grow a mustache? The way I look right now, Afro and all. The way, I would say right now there's like a little bit of inner work that needs to be done in order to accentuate the outer mustache. What kind of inner work are we talking about? Scientology? No. Transcendental meditation. Maybe a bit more, a bit more of that. Yeah. A bit more of David Wunsch foundation. Yeah. Because as we've like talked about, there definitely is a lot of tension. Yeah. And then there's the spirit as a spirit to the mustache. I mean hair on human's bodies goes back, you know, to the beginning of humans. Do you have any hair on your body that we could see? I believe I do. Could I see? Well, I believe you can see the area where I have the most hair right now. Okay. Let's see. Okay. That's right there. Great. So you're not one of those chicks with armpit hairs are you? Sometimes, yeah. You're kidding me. No. Do you have any on you right now? Yeah, I do. Could I see? All right, lift it up. Holy shit. That's some sexy hair right there, let me tell you. Now, getting back to you, Mike, how does a competition go? How do you enter the competition? Do you just sign up, you know, your name? Hey, it's Mike Stash, and I'm here to enter. Or do you have to do a certain ritual, you know, certain posing, pose-off? It's kind of like a fraternity. You've got to be initiated, invite only. And I've paid my dues, so to speak. You paid your dues. That's right. Explain this to me. What does paying your dues require? It means... Buying a Prius? Not buying a Prius. Even though I do agree with hybrids, I actually have a pickup truck. Curly loves riding my truck bed. Yeah, that's nice. By paying dues, I mean disrespecting the older men who've started these competitions. They've done this for years, and they're holy, wise men. Name some of those holy... These wise men you look up to in the mustache industry. There's Jack Forefront. Actually, in the forefront of all competitions. He's got a... Looks like we're getting a call. Hey, it's Adam O. How may I direct your call? Hey, what's up, dude? Hello? Can you hear me, dude? This is, yes. We're with Mike Stash. Yeah, you've got a good show, you know. You know, I just want to say, you're Adam O? That's right. Yeah. I used to work at Disneyland, you know, man. And what happened? You became a child molester and you got fired? No, no, no. Nothing like that. Oh, of course not with that voice. You know, I'll tell you, you know, I was a mustache rider ticket taker. You're kidding me. No. You know, when a woman sits on your face with her vag, man, it's like Disneyland. And I would say, hey, who wants another ride? You know, it was really cool. I like working at that. So you're trying to tell me that Southern California bred it young men with a mustache go to Disneyland and have a girl sit on their face before they go on a ride. It was really cool. The mustaches worked. Me and my big Harley, you know, me and my cat, Koopy. Love the cat, man. It's really well trained. And we just sit there, man, and we pull over on the side of the road. We put out a little sign. People come up to us. Mustache rides, man. All over the place, people are coming. So do you have any questions? Any questions for my guest, Mike Stache? Yeah, yeah. I kind of dig what you're saying, Mike. You know, I just want to know, you know, are you some kind of show business dude? Great question. No, man. I'm just purely, I live my life for growing a mustache. Oh, come on. That's bullshit. You have your manager here. That's show biz to me. It's not show biz, man. I just work the mustache. My client is a real dude. He's a real man. He's a brave soul. You know? You ever ride a Harley? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Because, you know, I'm from Philadelphia originally. And I used to hang out with the Gabonza brothers. Really cool people, you know. I used to talk a little, you know, Italian. You know, sabato, glanto, banto. Diva sabato, la suta, la macmecca. That means, man, I'll just cut off your ears if you don't watch out, dude. Let me ask you a question. I've heard that before. I've heard that before. What's your name? Oh, me? No. You're Harley. No. No, no, no, no. My name's Stabby Ehler. Stabby Ehler. Are you with representation right now, Stabby? Oh, here we go. No, no. I belong to a club, a bike club, you know. It's not the Angels. I kind of gave that up a while back. But it's a club called Fire and Barrel, you know. That's the name of the club, Fire and Barrel. And we ride around town. We ride around all over L.A. We go through San Francisco. We drive up to parts of Utah. We have a lot of fun, man. We just sit there and look at scenery and, you know, have a lot of women riding the back of the bike. That's what I hear from Mike. Mustaches and women go hand in hand. And getting discovered in the mustache industry is like a piece of cake. I mean, Mike's manager right here is drooling hearing your stories. All it takes is to grow a mustache and come up with a story. It doesn't have to be Kerry Wackian. It could just be a mustachian. And that's fine. That's all it takes. No, no, no. It's true. You know, a lot of people don't like mustaches. A lot of women, you know, they get, you know, they like a guy that's blue. Sir, when was the last time you got laid? I can't think that far. All right. Well, it's been a pleasure. Have a good day. Thank you very much. All right. Okay. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Yeah, good luck. Thank you. Yeah, I guess these mustachers are like those house angels. Sit there and just like to talk. It's pretty neat. That was an interesting and insightful. Is that like the type of fans that you get at these competitions? Yes. Guys that eat nachos and drool and live with their moms when they're 59. They admire me. You know, I'm kind of like their idol. Okay. So let's get into the good part. Show us a little competition, you know, pose. We'll be the judges. And I want to see a real mustache man. What do you call that pose? It's called the look of God. Yeah, that looks very good. I got to say, Adam, though, I usually I warm my client up before any sort of look. So I'd like to. Can I take a moment just to warm my client up? 100%. All right. I'm just going to hold on one second. I'm just going to take my things off. I can speak for a moment about the challenges of different competitions as well. Like the one that happened in Norway. Wait, his manager is beating the shit out of his back right now. Yeah. Kill, bro. That helps. Fucking kill. We're going to fucking kill. But as I was saying, so in Norway, one of our problems was that it's very cold there. And so you really have to pay attention to things like the mustache wax, because if it's not the right temperature, it just doesn't work. And then the mustache starts to feel neglected. Well, that's. Great, Curly. Now, now that your manager just beat the shit out of you. Yeah, my client's ready to go. My client is ready to go. I'm ready to rock. His client's ready to go. Now, let's see that pose. You want to stand up right here, young man? Now, now, now, do you always. You got this, Mike. Do you always wear a full apparel? Do you ever take off that? That's right, Mike. All right. So he's posing right now. Why don't you describe what he's doing right now? His poses. You would know best. Mike just did what we call the gentleman, which is arms. Arms crossed. Face stuck out two inches forward above the breastbone. And striking a very, a very mature pose is what we would say. A very mature, a very mature gentlemanly pose. That's what we call the gentleman. And I think Mike did a bang up job. Just a killer job of just like the archetype of that pose. You know? I mean, that's. I believe actually that pose is named after my client, Mike Stash. Oh, shit. Yeah. In Norway. Interesting. Thanks, Katow. He's there to give me, you know, a boost. So you guys hang out with a lot of famous people. Let's hear who you hang out with. Russell Brand. Russell Brand. Let's stop there. Tell us about Russell Brand and your relationship with Russell Brand. He's a very spiritual man. We actually traveled to Peru and did ayahuasca together. Okay. I have no idea what ayahuasca is. Why don't you, you know, enlighten me? It's a native ceremony where you take a plant. You get connected. You get connected to the spirit world. I died about 17 times, but I'm 100 times more alive right now, let me tell you. So you've done a lot of drugs. Only spiritual enhancing drugs. You know Laura Makovic? I do not know her. She claims to be the co-founder of Burning Man. She was a guest on my show. She's amazing. She's out of her pinwheels, but. Okay. So go back right to Russell Brand and your ayahuasca experience. Well, also talking about Burning Man, me and Russell made a trip to Burning Man as well. There we did peyote, peyote, peyote. Is that how you say it in Catawba? Yeah, peyote. So do you do drugs as well, Mr. Manager? I mean, I'll, I'm not going to confirm that I do drugs, but, but, you know, I go wherever Mike goes and, you know, do, do whatever Mike does and make sure that he has a good safe time and that his mustache is enriched. I'm not going to deny that. By whatever experiences that we have together. So, so I'm not going to deny. So you've died 17 times doing ayahuasca. That we've died 17 times doing ayahuasca. But, but I'm alive right now, so. And where do you, where do you get ayahuasca from? Peru. So Peru's like your second home. You can say that. Do you speak Spanish? What Catawba does. Si, por favor. Oh, no, no way. That's amazing. Okay. So could I join you guys the next time you go do ayahuasca? If Curly agrees. Yeah, I mean, I think if you do what we were talking about with the whole meditation, then I think you'd be ready. You're allowed to meditate and do drugs. I thought it was the opposite. No, I think it's a good preparation. Like, this isn't, this isn't recreation. This is deep soul searching. Now, is the, is the fucking better on drugs when you have a mustache? That made no sense. Let's rephrase that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and you pork a girl. Why are you looking at me like a serial killer? I'm just looking because I like you, man. All right, welcome back to the Bisexual Hour here at the Adamo Podcast. You want to call in the studio. It's getting hot in here. It's 800-893-9562. We're talking about a bisexual mustache champion in front of me. Now they're getting... Okay, I didn't mean that. I'm going to speak for my client and say that my client is very aroused right now. I mean, Mike, look at him. All right, could I get some of that milk, please? I'm a little dehydrated. Why are you aroused? I look like a Jewish monkey. I can see your soul, man, and your soul is really beautiful. Purple accentuates the soul. I don't mind curly. She's cute. She must have a... I was going to say a... I eat fist. She does. I do, yeah. My hands are really strong. So do you mind if I go into topics that you've never heard about before, like a fist in your ass? Please, Adam. Tell us about fisting, Curly. Have you ever been fisted? Oh, well, actually in January, I took a fisting workshop in New York. Like physically fisting? Yeah, it was all about physically fisting. Like inside the human body, pumping the fist of iron gold? Why are you guys staring at me weird? You're supposed to be laughing. We were at that workshop. That's actually where I met Curly. All right. That's good to know because I didn't know if I was going into... I didn't mean to insult you by saying that. I'm into fist pumping. Oh. The shit out of women. I'm joking. I'm joking. Fuck. You better be. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that at all. Actually, you know, I'm a feminist at heart. Good. I relate to all girls that own... boutiques in Echo Park. Wow. There's a lot more than that. Explain that to me. Well, I don't think that women... I mean, women owning shops is great, but I'd say there's more than just women doing the same capitalist activities as men. Now, do you guys use each other's hands inside each other? Who are you talking about? You and Mike. I mean, do you guys take turns closing your eyes? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Hey, man. That's the only type of porn I like is the weird shit. The other stuff's boring. I've seen it all. You probably are around porn stars all the time, right, guys? Yeah, definitely. My client is around porn stars all the time. They're good people. Yeah. And so, do you guys have a lot of orgies together? The inside party? Inside the gang? Actor's gang? Studio mustache gang? All day, all night, man. You know, sexuality isn't something... Hey, we're getting a call. Hey, how may I help you? Hello? Hey, this is Adam O. Adam O, this is Ben Berman. I was wondering if you had any follow-up questions from last week. I just wanted to call in and, you know, help the show because I heard it wasn't going so well this week. Wait, wait, wait. Is this really Ben Berman? Because you sound a little depressed. And you sound drunk, actually. I'm not drunk. I might be a little depressed, but I'm masking it pretty well. So, just, you know, if you wanted to follow up with any questions, I know last week, you know, we didn't really have too much fun and we didn't really get too many answers to your questions. So, I just wanted to interrupt for quite a long time and just talk about myself. Wait, wait. Are you kidding me? Or is this for real? Well, this is Ben Berman. No, no. I'm a huge fan of your work, Ben. I think we're all fans of your work, Ben. Who's on the show tonight? Who's on the show tonight? I'm sorry, I didn't... Everybody go around and say hello to Ben Berman. He's just fucking with me. Hey, Ben. Hey, I'm Adam. I know you. This is Kitawa Sakurai. I'm Mike Stash's manager here. I'm not familiar with you. Okay. That's fine. That's fine. I don't know. I figured Adam, like, you know, last week he got on a really good director, a TV comedy director. I was wondering if he might want to, you know, just kind of continue... continue with, like, a good comedy director. Well, I think he was trying to raise the bar for this week's episode. Oh, okay. I got it. I got it. But I was thinking that, you know, maybe, like, we could just continue with, like, the gold that I gave him last week. Well, last week was a terrific episode, Ben. Yeah. This week I have a mustache champion and his sidekick, Curly. They're a little stranger than you. Understood. Yeah, and I think gold is a pretty... Yeah, it's a pretty loose... It's a pretty loose definition of that term if you're talking about last week's episode. You know, gold or, you know, just anything that... Gold, copper, you know. Hey, could you give us a gold nugget now? Yeah. Anything that would illustrate, like, just, like, a winner. Someone who's really good and who, like, wins and who's, like, the best. Like, just the best. Like, no one could be better than him. Wait, Ben... I think you're talking about my client here. That would be me, Ben. Mike Stash. You're talking about Mike Stash, my client. Ben, I told everybody that I knew, all four people that are close to me, about the episode last week of you, and they were, like, shocked as shit that, you know, Shocked and disappointed? No, they were not disappointed. They were not disappointed. In fact, it sounded great. I was a little bit disappointed after the show because it was so honest, and we really, you know, we really sweat it. You know? It was an hour, back and forth. We didn't have any entourage. We didn't have Curly, a little girl with nipples. Are there nipples in the studio tonight? Well, if you want to come by, please join us. We have another half hour. There's eight nipples, at least. I... I... I... I can't... If you come, there'll be 12. Or just the start of an hour. I appreciate it, guys. Thanks for letting me... Wait, first of all, I want to give you a shout-out, Ben. Thanks for being on the Adamo podcast last week. It was a terrific show. And you are a great, fantastic director. And in 13 years, we will work together when I'm ready for you. Thank you. I was just trying to give Katao some shit. Thank you. Wait a second. I appreciate everyone... Wait a minute, Ben. Ben, you know about the mustache business? I was... I mean, I gotta... I mean, just to be fair... How does he know you? I was managing... I was managing Ben, you know, back in the early 80s. It was a really wild time. We had our differences. Did he wear a wet red sweatshirt back in the early 80s? I think he's a talented director for what it's worth. But he... Katao had to let me go, and I'm still pretty upset about that. I still am without manager. Yeah. I spoke at your wedding, though. You know? I spoke at your wedding. I gave you good wishes. Wait a minute. That's not... That's not true. He's not married. He was on my show last week. He said he just has a girlfriend that kept texting him throughout the show. It wasn't my wedding. It was my boy's bar mitzvah. Katao... I was drinking in those days. All right, well, let's get back to the program. I was drinking. Come on. That's Ben Berman, everybody. A great director. Look at his work on Vimeo. Google him. That's Ben Berman, and he seems to know the manager of Mike Stash. Thank you, Ben. Thanks, Stash. Bye. Thanks, Ben. Thanks, Ben. Thanks. All right, so this is going great. We have a lot of time left to chill out, relax, get the positive energy going. Mike, you said you're into disco music. Why don't you shake some shit for us while we sit back and drink some milk? This is Mike Stash, everybody. He's loose, he's ready, and he's dancing in front of a camera. That's awesome, Mike. That's awesome, Mike. That's right, like we talked about. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's one of my favorites. The funny thing is is that no one could see what he just did. This is absolutely ridiculous. That was just incredible what Mike just did. Imaginary radio. I love it. Well done, Mike Stash. Thank you. Well done. Let's give it up. That was great. Just to describe, Mike did a 180-degree turn. He put his right hand on his right buttocks, his left hand on his left buttocks. He did a full twisting back somersault, landed silently on his feet, spun around to the judges, displayed his mustache prominently, and exited the stage. Now, does Will Ferrell want to be you? Probably. Do you have an IMDB page? No. I think only movie people have those pages. I have nothing to do with movies. Hopefully there will be some sort of documentation. No, you're not interested in acting. You're a pretty boy. No acting for me, man. I stay away from the big screen. Now, Curly, do you want him to be you? Do you want him to be a star? I think he already is one. Well said. Well said, Curly. Now, where could we, you know, lead the people in the streets of downtown L.A. to your agency, your management firm, if they have the great mustaches to be the next Mike Stash? What's the name of your company, sir? Oh, you would go to SakuraiandSakuraiLLC.org. There you'll find a roster of all our clients, including... Mike Stash. Contact information and, you know, just if you have a mustache or if you just want to party. This sounds really shady, this mustache business, as if there's something else going on. I mean, what else is going on? There's Adam... Come on, break it down for me. I don't like your insinuations right now. There's nothing shady going on Well, it seems like you know a famous director who just called in, Ben Berman, who gave you a shout-out. You're saying that you're his manager. He has little Curly that just keeps wiggling her glasses and shit. And then Mike Stash over here is doing a little polka-dotted dance. This is a kid's show. Come on. I don't really know what to say to you, Adam. I mean, you know, we came on the show in good faith. I'm a little surprised at what you're trying to insinuate right now. Yeah, Adam, I would say that it's actually just a small world. Yeah. I mean... Now, Curly, could I go on a date with you? You'll have to talk to my manager about that. You'll have to talk to my girlfriend. Okay. I'd love to meet her. That's pretty confusing. And T-Bone over here. I want to cut to T-Bone. Mike Stash over here. Is it okay if Curly goes out and, you know, gets some whiskey with me later? Of course. So you're free. I'm not attest to anything, my friend. You need to meet Laura Makovich. Bitch. Why are you looking at me? All of you guys. Because you're a great person. Because there's a lot of tension in the room, Adam. There's a lot of tension in the room. I didn't mean this. There's a lot of tension in the room. I'm also wondering why you're wearing sunglasses. Yeah. Well, it's been a while since I've been with a woman, so maybe you could just help me out, Curly Skrull. Well, I'd love it if you took off your sunglasses. Oh, thank you. So much better. Now, what I want to do... Adam, why are your eyes so bloodshot? What? It's the chocolate milk. All right. So let's talk more. It's a kid's show. Come on. Let's talk more about the love that you guys provide each other with. Mm-hmm. A lot of love. Let's... Could you show me, guys? Why doesn't the manager in Curly, you know, do a little groove for me right now? I mean, she's a cute girl with good style, and so is the manager. I feel like a fat schlub watching you pretty people. I mean, you're just in your head, man. Yeah, you're just in your... Yeah. I mean, like, I got to say, Adam, I mean... Well, then what can I do? You have incredible charisma. You have charm. You have... I mean, in your own way, you have good looks. Mm. Like, in, like, a very specialized kind of way, you look great. I think you need to own that. Mm. And then, you know, you'll have groupies, too. Now, what are you guys doing later tonight? We're, uh... Gonna do a ayahuasca ceremony. Yeah, and then we'll cuddle. Yeah. The cuddling's the best part. Yeah. Now... Now, let's get to the good part of, like, where the free love begins and ends. Miss Curly, do you have a problem making out with the manager over here? If I was, you know, to see... I want to see Mr. Stash's reactions, because he says he's all about free love, but something tells me he's a little jealous inside that golden, goyish heart of his. What do you guys say? How about a little peck on the... A little peck, it goes into a little tongue, a little curly, a little... Well, I'm curious why you had to put your sunglasses back on to talk about that. Because I'm a nervous Jew. Okay, so let's go right back to you guys. All right. Okay, what do you say? You guys say you're so free, what, you're uptight now that I said making out? That should be the least of your worries. Yeah, I'm fine with it. I think she should make out with... With you. No, I'm the radio host, buddy. I want to watch. I'm the pervert. I'm the Jew. I sit back in a movie theater... Okay, wait. I'm trying to do a kid's show, and I keep referencing Pee Wee fucking Herman. Okay, thanks, Stash. You got to get in the game, buddy. All right, well, how about this? Better yet, I'll make out. I'll make out, but let's first pass the food. This is called passing the food. It's Improv 101. Berman, if you're listening, this is an improv little trick. You asked last week, does improv, you always have to say yes, or could you ever say no? Well, let's always go with the yeses right now. Okay, this is called passing the food. UCB 109. Here we go. Class A with Adam O. Jelly Beans. All right. Curly? Yes? Come over here and stand up. Okay. Boys and girls, Curly's coming around the corner. Mustache Monday over here is going to comment on this. It's Buster over here. My... Sure. It's a beautiful woman. No, no, no. Stand over here. Don't move. Look what she's wearing. Describe her outfit there, Buck. Excuse me? Mike Stash. Describe her outfit. She's wearing a sexy little pirate top. All right. Now, Mr. Manager, I want you to come around me. Yeah. Hey, this is Howard Stern Beginners, everybody. If you're listening right now, call in the studio. This is Adam O. Podcast at 800-893-9550. And we'll teach you how to do a hit radio show with Mike Stash and his entourage, motherfuckers. Okay. Now, you guys look like a cute little couple. Good style, both in shape. No bellies like myself. Clean facial hair. Hold each other's hands right now. Now, stop right there. You guys are, like, used to this. Stash, comment on that. What do you feel? connection there, the energy. Pure love, my friend. It's very beautiful. Is that all you could say? I mean, we're kindred spirits, the three of us. We're like a union ship of power. Now, there we go. He's moving in closer. He's moving in closer. Now, I want to see a nice, gentle hug. Now, I want you guys to scratch each other's faces. No kissing. Just rub each other's lips, because they both have mustaches. All right. Now, get closer. No, no, no. Let's see this. Let's see this. This is the tension that I need. I need my listeners to feel what we're in. They're feeling each other like they're in a bouton class right now. This is a wonderful experience right now. You're doing well, Adam. Okay, Stash, what do you have to say about this? Just touch her where she likes it. Stash, tell her. That's good, Stash. I want to hear the same thing. How about Stash? Tell us what you want them to do right now. They know what I want them to do. I can't hear it. What? I can't hear it. They know what I want them to do. Well, I can't hear it. What is that? We're going to have to see. Come on, Gattel. Give her the... What does the kuh-kuh mean? It means something that is pretty damn special. And we established it earlier. All right. How about let's see a full-on mustache bohemian Rapsberry. Kiss of stripes right now. What's a Rapsberry? I just want to see the tension. It excites a man like me to see these freaks in front of me. Brilliant artists with mustaches. At least the manager has a mustache. I want to see how that passionate kiss works. 14 hours ago, I met you guys in a coffee shop. And that was so weird. You just got to be gentle, man. You can't be abrasive with these two. Here we go. And the countdown. Full-on make-out session with the manager and the groupie, Curly. Because I know the whole point of this game is not just for them to make out and me go, hey, it's 10 minutes later and I'm still talking. No. No, it's not. It's actually to see if this man over here, Mike Stash, has a soul and if he's going to cringe because he knows he loves Curly. I want them to make out, man. I do more than you do. Go for it. Go for it. They're taking out their glasses. And action. Look at it. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. This is fucking iconic. Look at this. He's full of shit, this guy over here. I've got the biggest boner right now. I can't even tell you. Are you serious, brother? Oh, I'm hard like a stallion. Have a seat, Curly. Have a seat, Mr. Manager. Give him a hand, Mike. See? He's not clapping. He's very inferior inside. All right. Now. Now, that was pretty interesting. Mike, describe what you just saw. I saw two of my best friends in the world exchange magnetic, fiery magic. How did it feel, Mr. Manager? You know, it felt like the skies were sort of unlocking and a great bolt of divine energy was pouring down into my mouth. All right. All right. Now, if he's really not jealous, I'm going to see Curly over here. Let's take that back. That's not really. I'm going down to class. Where are you going, Adamo? Where are you going? Okay. Do you like a massage? Curly's really good at massages. I mean, I said I had strong hands. Curly, could I get a lap dance right now? I'm falling apart like a tree. I'm so tired. I don't know if that really works in these office chairs, but I will offer a massage. All right. I had no idea what I was going to do with you, Adamo. I'll make out with you, Adamo. If you really want to be uncomfortable, you know, he'll give you a lap dance. If you want to raise the stakes, I won't give you a lap dance. We could all make out with you. Yeah. And then have a cuddle puddle. Yeah, we could have a cuddle puddle, like a make out sesh first, and a cuddle puddle. Okay. Then really get real with it, you know? Mike Stash is here. That'd be awesome. Mike Stash. He'll videotape. Do you really have a boner, Mike? Oh, yeah. Why don't you show us? I don't believe you. This really is becoming a Taiwanese boy's mustache show. Now, that is a championship erection. Yeah. That is a championship erection. I still think I'm larger. Well, then show us, Mike. Show us, Adam. All right. I'll show you guys. Yeah. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. It's getting real. Wow. Man, radio. Holy cow. Holy moly. Look at that. Josh, do I have a chance? Look at that. Yeah, you're looking pretty good there. Man, that is, yeah, I mean, that's, say what you will. We just saw that. Say what you will. All right. I like the color of your boxers. Adam, I mean, like, I got to say, that's pretty impressive. Can we play a song? All right. Well, I'm a little under the influence right now on this chocolate milk. We're going to get right back to these messages here at the Adamo podcast. We just saw, you know, my good friend Mike Stash comment on his long-term relationship with Curly. Make out with his... His manager. They're all happy about it. I pulled down my pants to show him my enlarged cock. Actually, I pulled them down. She pulled them down, and now we're just staring at each other like they want more. We'll be right back after this song. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, if you don't want me to lie. All right, you're 18 and a half. Who says 18 and a half? How old are you, Mr. Manager? I'm 41. Okay. So you like them young, Mr. Manager? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I mean, you like your clients young. No one can be over the age of like 40 to have a mustache and you'll take on. No, I mean, once you hit 35, the mustache growth is, you know, it's like a Ben Berman trying to grow a mustache, you know. Yeah. Why a Berman can't grow a mustache? Nah, it's Berman. I mean, it's like. He has a full on beard. It's just, yeah, but I mean, like he couldn't act like Ben Berman couldn't really grow a mustache or a beard. That guy's hilarious. Have you seen his new video, Sensei? Sure. I mean, who hasn't? But I mean, like to return to like his beard or mustache growth, I mean, that's just cut rate stuff. Do you think that if he had a full on curly mustache like the mustache you're wearing right now, that video would go triple viral? I mean, I think it would, but it's just impossible. It's implausible that Berman could grow a mustache of any sort of. And what bars do you guys go to in Los Angeles? If I want to invite my friends to hang out with you guys. I can tell you one. Is that OK? Yeah, please. Every Monday, there actually is an event called Mustache Mondays, and we do like to go and mingle with the other mustached people. Now, does this dude over here, you know, Curly's lover? Positive energy, free love. Do you have any tattoos? I have one on my ass. OK, man, your humor is so old school, man. It's not humor, man. This is purely just the truth. And what is that tattoo on your ass? It's a unicorn. OK, brother. Seriously, it's been a pleasure to have you on my show. I just don't believe you're real. I think is your mustache even real? Yeah. Yeah. You can take a pull at it, man. It's not going to come off. My client's mustache is real 100% of the way, Adam. All right. Well, I believe it. I do want to hang out with you guys because I do want Curly over here. In the meantime, it's been an absolute pleasure for you guys to be on my podcast, the Adamo podcast. Thanks, Mike Stache, Curly, and his manager. I hope you guys come back soon and you had a great time. I'll see you next week, boys and girls. Peace. Peace.