Episode

Thank you. Thank you. All right. We're back. I love that song. I love that song. And if you can fast forward to when the girl goes, I, Papi. What? I can meet a chico chico. Yeah. Have you heard this song? You know this song, Adrian, right? The one that was just playing. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Here. Turn it up again. See what. I love this song. I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie. I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie. That I was the star of the movie. Sounds like me. Yeah, that does sound like Adrian. This way through my mind. The fact that me, an overfed. Long hair. Sleeping nose. All right. All right. Should be the star of a Hollywood movie. Lower that down. What? What? Are you? You really got margarita mix? What do you got there? Vodka and margarita mix. I'm going to do it. You're making me a drink, Nicky? Wow. Put some in his coffee cup. Maybe we'll do like. Margarita mix? You put the lime in the cup. And then you can fall up. We're singing songs from Tarantino movies. You do know that, right? I want to do karaoke. Let's do it. Yes, please. All right. Hey, you know what? Well, here. Let's turn up that song. Let's see if it's back at that part where. They have karaoke at Saddle Ranch tonight. I'm down. I'm down. You remember the song? Yeah. There was a. I don't know what. I feel like singing. I like when the Latina sing. Watch. Listen. Is it here? Here it comes. Here it comes. This is my favorite part. Turn up. Here it comes. Here it comes. Came a lady. She whispered in my ear. Something crazy. She said. And you know, you're really rare. You're a very rare girl, Nikki. You're a Latina that doesn't speak Spanish. I know. For all I know, she could have been saying, don't put Canadian bacon on my pineapple pizza. Ay, ay, ay. Ay, ay, ay. No. Why don't you speak Spanish? Um. Shame on you. No. Shame on you. Okay. I love how you asked that question. I'm going to answer it. I'm going to answer it. Okay. Because there's nothing. There's nothing in this world. Thanks, mom. Like a woman that speaks Spanish. You know that. I know. Okay. Jesus. I'll even ask. Jeremy. Nikki, you really want to know. I'll even ask Jeremy. Watch the movie. I'll even ask Jeremy. Trust me. I don't have to do any speaking. Would you rather. What would you rather have? Would you rather have an Asian woman, a black woman. You're so funny, Jeremy. Oh, you're so funny. Or a Latina woman or a white woman whispering in your ear. Oh, you're a chico puppy. Or. You can't wait to hear that. Or. No. I mean, my last five girlfriends have been Latina. There you go. Yeah. That's my preference. What about a mixed. Chick that can't speak Spanish, but has no gag reflex. Can you fake? Oh, okay. Yeah. That's pretty good. Si. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You can fake some Spanish, right? Huh? You can fake some Spanish. Can't you? Yeah. I can. Show us. You can fake it a little. What do you want me to say to you? Just say something, man. Say, you know, siempre para atrás. Hola, como estas? Muy bien, y tu? Muy bien, y tu? You can probably just say that when you're like that. You're like. Ah, mas o menos. Okay. Bien, y tu? Oh, yeah. That sounds dirty. Trabaja todo dia? Okay. That's up our next segment of Nikki tonight. Donate to Rosetta Stone for Nikki. Nikki tonight segment. We're starting off right now. Nikki at night. Because Nikki at night. Nikki at night. Kind of like Nick at night, like nuke, nuke, nuke, nuke. Nickelodeon. We call it Nikki at night, and it's because Nikki goes out on dates, and she wants advice, and I think I have the reason why these tall white boys don't stick around. Okay. You want to hear it? I've had some very long. I've had some very long, fruitful relationships, Rick. Jesus. That my comedy career always stood in the way of. Okay, maybe it's because when they meet you, they, oh, you're Latina, and they're like, she's going to talk dirty to me in Spanish. And then she doesn't. Yeah, I'm sure the Jewish white boys that I've been dating, that's exactly what they're thinking. They are, because they all had maids. They all had like Latina maids, and that's like planted in them. What kind of white boys are you hanging out with? Nikki, I have your solution. I have your solution. I'm sorry. Are you ready? Oh, shut up. What? Okay. So what you will do. I need a drink for this. Oh, make me a drink for this advice, actually. I'm going to share this. Go ahead. All right. So basically. Okay. You need to date a Latino. No. For right now. Right now. Just for like a few months. I'm not going to date DeRocha, okay? So shut your mouth. Oh, okay. Now, hold on a second. That wouldn't be so. DeRocha doesn't even. That's not so Latino. DeRocha don't speak that great Spanish. She just speaks Spanish. She don't speak that great. No Spanish. She just speaks Spanish to his mom. Hola, mama. Este es mi amigo Ricky Esquieta. Nothing against Rob DeRocha. That's mi amigo en la radio. Ladies, nothing against Rob DeRocha. He's a very cool dude. He's got light skin and light eyes. You probably like him. Este es su hermano, Adrian. Rob is great. Rob is great when he socializes. I'm in the twilight zone right now. All right. Okay. All right. But just listen to this. Any Latino guy that you can. Whoever you want to date as far as Latinos go. And then just date him. For a few months. Learn some Spanish with them. And then dump their ass and go for the white boy. And then have the Spanish. I don't think the Spanish that they're going to be speaking to me is exactly what I want to learn and use on a daily basis. Well, then just obviously have conversations where you're like, you know, do the whole girl thing. We're like, oh my God, I really want to learn Spanish. And then they'd be like, I'd love to teach you one day. I do that all the time. I will take that. I will take their advice, listeners. But I will say that I think that is not the reason why the white boys aren't sticking around. I know. So what is the reason? The reason. The comedy show, you dummy. Honestly. Part of the comedy of having to find a solution for the problem, Rick. Okay, Dr. Phil and Dr. Phil. I'm just kidding. Dr. Phil. I'm waiting for you. Okay. I think one of the reasons when I have tried to date guys that are not comedians. Okay. They don't like the fact that. You're a comedian. My career. No, my career comes first. Honestly. Like if we have a date scheduled and somebody calls me, they're like, yo, you want a spot? You want a spot? Yeah. At the Improv and Brea? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to cancel. I'm going to be like, sorry, I got to go. Yeah. You got to cancel. You got to go do that spot. I literally had a dude with Tethys like, you don't make time for me at all. This is ridiculous. You know, I tried to do the good guy thing and like ask you out a week in advance. And I figured like if I ask her out a week in advance, that's my date night with her. Uh-huh. And then you'll just like cancel on me two hours before you're either lying and then they'd end up going down to the shows just to make sure I had a show. Oh no. Oh no. Do you not like it if they come see you do your set? No, I don't mind if they do. The problem was I don't want them at every show because here's the thing. Guys that are not comedians think that as soon as you get off stage, you're done with work. No, it doesn't. Yeah. It doesn't work that way. Like I'm talking to bookers. I'm talking to my fan base, other comedians, producers. Like I'm networking. If I don't network after a good 15 minute set, I basically wasted that 15 minute set. Right. Yeah. But they don't get that. They're just like, you're not. Pay attention to me. You don't want to sit with me. And then they become a lurker. Really? Really? That's too. That's too softy. You know, I need a man. Yeah. You need a man. Maybe that's why. Maybe these tall, skinny white boys aren't like men. They're not tough. I pick the nerdy, skinny ones. Well, no. I mean, I'm Latino. I'm pretty soft. I'm a pretty soft guy. I think you get a little bit drier as you get older. Uh-huh. You know. You loosen up. You're always. You're always like in touch. I've always been in touch with my feelings and my emotions. Wow. Is that good stuff? It's not too bad. It looks like gasoline. It's light margarita mix. God. What kind of institution are we running here? Light margarita mix? Oh, God. That shit's been in there forever. I don't know. That's nothing a Mexican would care about, okay? Oh, man. The expiration date don't matter. We found it before it became Skid Row. Nope. Oh, shit. Nikki and. It says sell by May 19, 2013. 19. Nikki and Adrian are going to be. Oops. Maybe I should just not play with the camera. Let's do a drinking game. Yeah. Every time that Adrian hits an inappropriate sound bite, he has to take a drink. What? Okay. What about her? Every time Nikki. Drinks. She has to take a drink. Every time. I don't know. I haven't got you down. I haven't figured you out yet. I don't have any quirks. Oh, what? What? Oh, yeah. You do. You got something. What? What you have? Anytime I mess with my hair. I don't know. Adrian, what you have? You've been staring at her more than me. Oh, Adrian. Adrian. Yep. You are a starer. You are a starer. A starer? Oh, wait, wait. You are the staring type. You are. She's not staring at you. I'm a looker. No, wait. You are. You are the looker. You are the looker. She's not looking at you. Oh, fuck. Okay, dude. Hang on. You are a beautiful woman. How about that? Well, no. Thank you. You are a beautiful woman. And it's nice to look at a beautiful woman. How about that? Yeah. Thank you. I have to teach him these things. God, didn't your dad do that? Your dad's a Casanova. Oh, he taught my dad to do that. All right. Well, teach me this. Teach me this. All right. Nikki. Nikki, you might be able to teach me this. Why is it such a beautiful woman like you is having such issues with men? Oh, yes. I'll do the deep voice and I'll make sure that my point is made. That sounds like Dr. Phil. That doesn't sound like Dr. Phil. It just sounds like a man who sees a very beautiful woman sitting right next to her. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And then she tells me she's having issues with her dating life. I get friend zoned a lot too because- You get what? I get friend zoned a lot too because guys at our age, for some reason, they all know now that 30 is the new 20. So they don't want like a girlfriend. They don't want like a real relationship. And I'm not the type of person that's like going to be sleeping with five different guys at a time. Damn. So, like I don't even really mind- Hey, I just figured out your problem. What? I'm not open-minded. I just figured out your problem. I don't do anal. That's another problem. Oh. I will not. I will never. I won't. Me neither. Like I'm, I don't need- I appreciate that. You know, honestly. You share my pain. I do a joke. I do a joke about it. Doesn't that suck when guys ask you that? I do a joke about being an anal sex virgin. Like I never stuck my wiener in there. In the popo. Or a finger. Yeah. I never stuck my peepee in the popo is what I say. And I never got shit or corn on it. You know what I'm saying? All right. And then so- Ew. Ew. It's to me- I'll never look at a link in the same way. There's a problem with that because I knew crap came out of it like just, you know, maybe minutes ago, maybe hours ago. I know it was days or weeks ago. There's a reason bad things come out of that thing. Now, but I know why people do it though. I know why people do it because it's a small- It's an erogenous joke. It's a smaller hole too, isn't it? Okay. Like I said, I've got a tight little one bedroom apartment down there. Yeah, I know. It's not like a beach house that you'd want to invite all your friends to come visit or anything. Okay. Okay. It's just my own. It's clean, hardwood flooring. What if you were a woman? Max. Yeah, utilities included. Oh, my God. Oh, God. That was a good joke. Sorry. That was a good joke to me personally. I wasn't joking. I don't care what people say. All right. Utilities are included. Adrian won't be back next week. Okay, Rick. Go ahead. I'm just kidding. Now you made me forget what I was going to say. But hey, now- Oh, no. You go. Okay. You're the director, Rick. No, I have this question. You're the host, Rick. I have this question. Okay, go ahead. Please, Rick. Please. You can't- I can't talk anymore. Why can't I talk? You know, my friends want to listen to your show, but they said I don't talk, and so they don't want to listen. Oh, my God. They don't want to listen, and they're going to listen. My friends are going to call in, so when am I going to talk? And you give him a chance to talk, he messes up the whole damn thing. Can we get past your family issues right now? I need real dating advice. You guys are so selfish. All right. All right. All right. Well, we'll give you dating advice. We'll just stop. Every time, you know. Okay. Rick's scared. Let's just ask her questions. Okay. There we go. This is literally like rubbing alcohol, guys. Yeah, I know. Skid row lifestyle. I'm sorry. It's my first day that I haven't had to take my pain meds. It's like an incredible strong lemonade, though. Yeah. This is the first day I haven't had to take my pain medicine, so I want a drink. Yeah, no thank you. No thank you. Okay, where were we? We were at the bar. We were at the bar. We were at the bar. We were at the bar. We were at the bar. We were at the bar. We were at the bar. Nikki tonight with her dating stories. Adrian said he's going to help her, so Adrian. You guys are going to ask me questions, and I'll just give short answers, and hopefully you can get to the bottom of this. Yes. All right. All right. So what have we learned so far, Rick, that she doesn't do anal? That's not a question, but okay. Well, I'm not. We're summing it up right now. I don't think, honestly, I don't think anal should be an issue. I don't think so either. If you don't do anal. But do you not remember this is a comedy show, Rick? It's a comedy show. It's a comedy show. It's a comedy show that tries to be a little bit serious at times. Which we can't, because we're always messing around and joking around. Right, but we're trying to get me away from comedians. We're trying to get her away from problems. We're trying to set her up with somebody. Okay. Okay. If you want to date Nikki, you're a tall white boy, and you got good intentions. Will you date this guy right here, Nikki? Look at him. 1-800-893-9562. 1-800-893-9562. Call in right now, you 3.8 people, and let's see. Why are you on Omegle? I should be on Omegle. Yeah, I know. We should put her on Omegle, because we get a lot of guys. Yeah. Yeah, we'll get a lot of guys. We'll get a lot of fans. We'll tell them to call in. Make that lipstick a lot more redder, sweetheart. We're going to put you in there. She's putting some lipstick on, buddy. It's like a bullseye. Just put it there. A bullseye. She's coming on this camera, in the camera right now. Okay. We're switching our topics. Okay, we're going to put Nikki on Omegle. We're going to try and help her dating habits right now. See if some guy likes her. But we got to get Adrienne out of the picture. Oh, getting out of the frame. I know, he's trying. Yeah, we got to get- He doesn't have any lights anymore. Oh, no, he's- Oh, no. He's on the microphone, because his friends want to listen to him. There we go. Okay, so any guys? Any guys right now? Yeah, I got one. We got one. Is he cute? Do you like him? Actually, I think we can get him on. Get him to call in. Get him to call in. Yeah, call. Oh, no, wait, wait. He can hear us. Okay. Oh, you can hear me? We can hear him, I think. But tell him to call in. Tell him to call in. 1-800-893-9562. Do you want to call in to our radio station? No. No? No. He doesn't want to. Aw. Bye-bye. Next. Yeah, get rid of him, then. Get rid of him. Okay, Nikki, so- Ooh, no chicks. Oh, wait. That's the problem. That's for you. I know. Hey, okay, so Nikki, so when it comes to dating, what do you look for in a guy besides him being tall, white, and comedian? Funny. Just kidding. Yeah. See, I always thought about that, like dating a comedian woman. It could be a little bit challenging, because- Yeah. A sense of humor. A sense of humor means a lot to me. Sure. Like, money really doesn't, and, you know, the job really doesn't, I want somebody that has a good sense of humor, that's fun to talk to and be around, and it's always been comedians that, you know, have fit that bill. I did have one comedian one time that I thought it was really going to work with, and he literally told me if I quit comedy, then we could date. Ooh. Oh, no. Wow. Yeah, he told me if I stuck to writing and quit comedy, then we could be together. Wow. And I said no. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Honestly, that never worked out. Okay. Okay. So, we have a stranger here. He says, show tits, please. Please. Please. Tell him we've been asking her that for like five months now. Yeah. Every time they say tits, I'll lift up my shirt. Why don't you lift up your shirt? Well, nothing to this dude. Who knows what he's doing? Hey, I found a guy on Craigslist for you. Oh, did you really? Male seeks feminine, woman in control. Ha ha ha. Funny. No. Really? Okay. Look what this guy's doing. I wish Rick could see this. He has a camera pointed at the screen. And he's asking people to show their tits. Yeah. So, he's actually taking pictures of the girls that are showing their tits. Oh, he does. There's no guy on there right now, but I can see the edge of the video camera. Or a camera. Hey, pull down your pants, Adrian. Give him a shot of your ass. Here's my tits. Give him a shot of your butt. Okay. Ha ha ha. We got some sound here. But, okay. So, this app that I was telling you guys about, this was suggested by a friend, another comedian. He's one of my best friends, like a brother. Okay. He's like, Mickey, we need to get you. We need to get you out of the world of comedy for your dating guys. He's a cute white boy right here. Oh, he is a cute white boy. Sorry. This is like live, so. It is live. Hi. You know, the radio show is too, guys. I know. Well, I was going to tell them about Tinder. So, basically, this comedian friend of mine, a brother, told me, hey, there's this app that you can put on your iPhone. Yeah. And it calculates in your location all the single dudes in the area, and it gives you their picture. Yeah. Yeah. It tells you shared friends, shared interests, and it gives you an X and a check mark. You can either like them or not like them. And if you don't like them, they'll never know. But if you like them and they like you, it'll come across the screen and it puts both your pictures. It's like, whoosh, we have a match. And then it sends you to this little text messaging box where you can start kicking up conversation. Oh, this sounds cool. Yeah. That sounds like fun. Yeah. So, I think you told me you met somebody. I did. That you kind of already knew. Oh, yeah. That one. That one was worse. We're not talking about that one. Yeah. Okay. Okay. But yeah. But we're not naming names. No, no, no. But you met somebody that you already knew. That I knew. And I didn't know it was the person I knew because their first picture was a younger picture of them. So, I was like, oh, sure. Like. And automatically, it was like, whoosh, we have a match. And then when I realized who it was, I was like, no. Oh, no. Hey, Jeremy, can we call somebody? All right. Okay. Here's a Craigslist ad. Oh, no. Oh, my God. You're not going to do this. You're not going to do this to me. Let's have a good time. Okay. Fine. 28, Bell Gardens. Okay. Feeling touched. 28's too young. I'm 31. Don't worry about it. Look. Okay. Let's have fun with it. Let's have. Okay. Call them and I'll talk. Yeah. What is your age range? Let me. Let me. Let me. Can you please. Over there. Can you please pause for a second? Yeah. Yeah. He's paused. I don't want your friends to hear you right now. You're on. Pause Omegle. You're on timeout. You're on timeout. All right. Okay. Here. Okay. Let's have some drinks while I massage you. Let me get you hot. Are you interested? I am a white guy. Good looking. Get back to me. Phone number over there. Oh my God. We can exchange picture. So if we can get that guy on the line, I say we call. Oh, it's right here. Five sex. He didn't put sex. He didn't put sex, but he put sex. I'm glad my dating life is free. You're kidding me. I'm going to get her to save it right now. He's in the 562 area. He's in the 562. Do you like guys in the 562? I don't even know what area code that is. Don't give me pictures. Let's try it. I did not want to go on that one. Okay. Oh yeah. All right. Okay. Here we go. What does it say again? What's the description? So I'll know that this. We're both. Okay. Just so he won't think it's a joke. Okay. He's a white guy and he says he's good looking. Okay. That's all he gives me. It's these are the, this is one and a half lines. I hope you know. I'm having fun with this. I'm going to make up a fake name. Sure. Sure. Okay. Go for it. Okay. Let's do this. Yeah. I mean, really. Let's, let's see if he answers. Let's do this. Go for it. Let's see. Okay. Here's another one. How old is he? 28 you said? He's 28. Okay. Let's stick with one at a time. You're going to give me dating overload right now. Great. But we don't talk. No, you guys don't talk. I'm going to ask him a question. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to ask him. You're going to. Yeah. Yeah. This is going to be like power 106 when they're like, oh, you got bugged. Just kidding. No, you just make it into a, what is it called? Catfish. Catfish. You just say, hey, I got your number. I'll call you back. Okay. Sweetheart. That's all you got to do. I'm giving him a fake number. Does he have a voicemail ringtone? Okay. Well, let us know because we want her to say hello. Okay. Can I go back to the other? No. Okay. Okay. Okay. So he's, he's getting the number right now. We'll call it. We'll call him up. Okay. This is a, what we're doing is we're dating on Craigslist right now. We're having fun with this. This is not real. I'm not going to go out with this dude. We're having fun with this. We are calling people on Craigslist. Uh huh. Okay. That, um. Can I segue into something though? Sure. I did meet someone. On Craigslist? On Tinder. On Tinder. Okay. That isn't that first person we, that we discussed. This guy is a lawyer and a singer. Okay. He has his own career, his own life, and we're talking. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. We're here. Hello? We're calling. We're calling. GE. Reimagining call. Okay. We're still talking. Okay. Okay. We're still talking. All right. Yeah. He's calling him. Okay. He's calling him. We'll see. Okay. Um. I don't want you being like my creepy dad in the back. How's 29? It's 29. What's his name? 29. I'm going to ask your opinion. You're my dad. Hold on. Shh. Yeah. Let's do that. Okay. I like that. We're all giggling. Leave a message. Okay. Yeah. Leave a message. Please leave your message for 5623963290. Hi. This is Amy. I'm calling in regards to an ad that I saw on Craigslist. It was on the personals. And by your description, you seem like somebody really cool and interesting that I'd like to talk to. If you could, give me a call at 800-893-9562. Hope to hear from you. Mwah. We clear? I don't want to be. Okay. We need somebody that answers. I don't want to keep leaving a message. Oh, okay. Ha, ha, ha. You know, we're starting the machine. No, we need somebody that answers. Okay. Uh, 34 years old? How old is 34 years old? That's fine. Chatsworth. 34. All right. Black eye. Chatsworth. No. No. Okay. Sorry. Sorry, black eye. No. How about, uh, 39? Looking, oh. Man, these guys, these guys are fun. No, I don't want, no, I don't want me helping his monster cock. You know, that's the thing is that every, every one of these, it's like, there's a picture. It's all for hookups. Hey, how about this guy? 50 years, oh my God. 50 years old. I like kissing and holding hands. Don't do this to me. Hi, I'm a 50 year old white male, six foot, 180 pounds. Don't have strictly platonic. Strictly platonic. No, you got to go men. You're like, that's no fun. Men seeking. Women, okay. Okay, hold on. Okay, 28 years old. Women in control. Do you love to be in control? Oh, male seeks women in control. Oh, dude, I am white, male, tall, in shape, blonde. There's a phone number. I'm very open and love to do things for a woman. There's no phone number. You need to find ones with phone numbers. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Don't worry. We're on it. We're on it. Dude, chill the fuck out. I'm taking so much time. I don't want to lose my viewers. Handsome. Oh, here we go. How about dating life? How about this one? Handsome white pothead for sexy white pothead. I'm not a pothead. Nikki. I can fake it. You can fake it. Let's see. Is there a phone number here? No, no phone number with this guy. We got to, yeah. Let's hang out now. Ooh. Just kidding. So I know it's not spam. Please put yellow in the subject space in your email. Okay, what you guys got to do in the search, I guess, is put call. That way maybe there's a phone number involved. Otherwise, we're going to be searching all day. Sure, sure. Here we go. I got that. What do you think? Okay, here we go. Skype or phone. Oh, I got a penis. That's not. Cool. Yes, you do. You have one and now you have two. Here we go. 6'2", 180, tall, unmarried, single. Ooh, unmarried means divorce. I'm divorced. And available for you. Here we go. Ooh, San Fernando Valley, 40. Picture. There's a picture. He's a tall white guy. I have a picture of him. Rick, mature 40s seeks Asian only. Do an Asian accent, Nikki, so you can pull it off. Oh, it's so bad. You're so bad. Yes. Is there a phone number? Hello? Who is this? Hey, this guy, this guy's pretty wealthy. There's no phone number. I am not an escort. No, no, no. I give a damn massage. I found a, huh? Oh, go down? Oh. Now they're all searching. Oh, we got a number. You guys are teaming up against me. Okay, we got a number. This guy's tall. He's 40. Okay. He's tall. He's white. He's got his whole damn resume here. Wow. Marketing and management in small media, Fortune 1000 sized companies, locally, nationally, internationally, provided recommendations for increased market penetration. I don't know what that was. Liar. No drugs, no alcohol, no smoking, private single apartment complex. I think he has a place for you. No drugs, no alcohol, no smoking. Oh, you know what this is? This is a guy. He wants you as an assistant, a female art entertainment media assistant needed. Nice one bedroom, one bath. You're looking for a place, apartment, share for female, 100 per week. I hate you. He's homosexual. North Hollywood. And this is on the, Craigslist personal. Yeah. Check out what this guy says. Oh, who are you calling? Call him this guy. He's divorced. He doesn't know if he wants children. I'm fucking you guys. He doesn't live at home. What the hell? He's got daddy issues. He's got daddy issues. He says he, I just randomly whispered, he says he's athletically built. Please leave your message. I hate you guys. I'm a bad person. He's a Christian. Maybe I should just get my personal injury lawyer to call in. Just randomly whisper while they have a conversation. Go like, why don't I just dial some random phone numbers? You're all into your horror movies, dude. It'd be awesome. You know that. I know. Come on. She's agreeing with me on this one. Dude. Well, okay. Like this, that app I was telling you about Tinder. When I first started playing, I was like, this has rape and kidnap written all over it. How about this? A tall white Mexican. No. Okay. Six, nine. He's six, nine. That's a lie. Yeah. Okay. Oh, but look what this guy says. Seriously. There is nobody half Mexican that is six over six, two. How about this one? Married, but neglected in the bedroom. Married and neglected in the bedroom. I'm going to hell. Okay. Call. If you're married, but bored and not getting, and attention you deserve. I'm your guy. I'm tall. Six, two white guy, 190 pounds. Call. I'm basically going to be like, is it okay that I'm divorced and I'm not neglected, but I still want to take advantage of the situation. This guy does not give a phone number though. Oh, look what this guy says. Seriously. I'm going to hell. Okay. Okay. Listen to this. All the hookers and fakes on here. Where are all the normal people? All I want is a cute girl to please. And this doesn't have a phone number. ladies. I want to make you come period. Don't worry about me. Let me please you. It can't be that hard to find a cute, normal woman who wants to get off tonight. To all of our listeners. I am so sorry that they're doing this right now. I have nothing to do with this. You can still listen to me on the radio show. I'm normal. I'm not part of the Esqueda doofus family. Esqueda perverts. Esqueda perverts. Okay. Here we got another one. You better find a number quick. I got a phone number. I got a phone number. I got a phone number. Call that number. Jesus. I got a phone. No, it's up on top. Okay. Massage for women only. Three strikes. You're out. Highly reviewed. Three exclamation points. On what? Okay. Not on Groupon. On massage.com. On massage.com. On massage digest.com. Who is reviewing this person? Out calls available. Male for women. 26 years old. Los Angeles, Pasadena, Glendale. Any interested in free massage? Please smack me. Like, you know what? I'm saying call this person. It says here, it says here, any interested in a free massage? But he didn't, he's supposed to put massage, but he puts message. What? He puts a message. Oh, please. I don't want a person that can't spell, that can't even use spell check. Okay. Yeah, but that's what you're going to bother me with. He doesn't even know. Huh? He says, how old is he? Free shower. Okay. Oil. Swedish. Special requests are welcome. I'm going to be the ghost. I hate you both so much. His name is Mike. Shut up. Mike. People have jobs, you know, they work. You don't sound like a ghost, by the way. Automatic voice message system. Yeah, people don't sit in radio studios screwing around on Craigslist. They have lives. They have salaries. They have health insurance. You're such a party pooper. Gosh, why can't you have fun? I can't. You can't be with a fucking radio. You can't be on the radio show. You can't do that. Well, I can have fun if you'd find people that would answer. You're picking the wrong people. Okay. I'll give you one more shot. I'll tell you who will answer. It will be the ones that just want to, like, you know. Okay. What do you think about a guy who writes... Pick the nastiest one that you can. Okay, what do you think about a guy who writes so much shit? Like, I look at his stuff and I don't want to hear about your emotions and your daddy and your... Did you put the word call in the search? Yeah. Okay. Pick the dirtiest, nastiest one you can. Okay, white tall. I'm going to mess with him. White tall. I'm going to mess with this person. Call. Okay. And we're looking for a white tall. Here we go. Oh, he's a former... This is the same guy. Former vice president. He wants you to give him a spot. Dude, this guy has so many... Just give me a spot. This guy has so many ads in here. He's so sad. Okay, Asian. Fine. We got an Asian 35. Oh my God, this guy wrote a book in here. Look at this. Just pick a phone number. It's a book. Is there a phone number, Jeremy? Wow. That's it. I'm about to get on Grindr. Is there a phone number on here? Grindr. Oh, this guy. That's for gay people. Oh, Grindr. Oh, wait. Our Lord Jesus Christ, it says in here. Our Lord Jesus Christ. Is it my friend? Catholic mother doesn't already hate me enough. He even wrote something about... Oh, this guy's a dreamer. Hey, do you believe in love at first sight? That's what this one says. Sure. And instead of a picture, you know what he has? He has a cartoon. Do you believe in love? What? Okay, geez. Angry little woman. Oh my God, this guy has the most spelling errors and grammatical errors I've ever seen in my entire life. He says, dreaming, D-R-E-A-M-E-N is right. W-R-I-G-H-T. W-R-I-G-H-T? Any real woman out there? Then he put, then he put, for reals. Just kidding. For reals. I mean, I'm surprised he didn't. Oh, well, he's got a pool. He's standing by a pool in a wife beater. Like he's from blood in and blood out. Okay, he thinks he's Richard Grieco in this one right here. He's got a lot of cousins with tears wrapped tattoos. I got a very interesting one that has a lot of numbers and I think his phone number's in there. Is that what that is? Yeah. You see the phone number? They spell it out. Yeah, they code it. Okay, so look, he actually has a number spread through his ad. Oh, God. So it's very clever. White, yeah, white male five seeks very tall six, big woman two with big shapely two calves, thighs five, size 16 to 18 for intimate zero encounters will seven make it worth four your time. A zero satisfied lead, three party soon, call or text. Way too many numbers. Way too many numbers to call there, right? Just 20 minutes, Nicky. Just make it through this show. I see. 20 more minutes. Maybe it's his home phone and his cell phone. I see five, six, two, two, five, one, six, one, eight. And cry. Why are you being such a party pooper? I'm not being a party pooper. Okay, I will do this. You're being Rob. You're doing a DeRocha. You're doing a DeRocha. You're doing a DeRocha right now. Shame on you. I don't think DeRocha would do this. This is why they wanted a girl on this show. Now I get it. Oh, I found him. Okay. I found him. Victory. I need some antacids. I know you'll like this. Come here. I'm taking like five antacids. You gotta come over here. Okay, okay. You gotta come over here and check. You gotta come over here, sit on my lap and check this out. Hold tight. Sit on your lap. Rick is funny. Watch, see? Oh, wow. Oh, look, even Adrian liked him. Did you hear Adrian? Oh, wow. Adrian liked him. There you go. I'm just saying. How about that? Don't you like that? Don't you like that? Look, he muscles. Look. Oh, yeah. Selfies are great. Selfies are awesome. Yeah. You don't like this guy? What the fuck do you want? He's a tall white guy. He's a tall white guy. This is when Rick comes in. He's gonna be like, this is your problem, Nikki. You're too picky. You're too picky, Nikki. You're too picky with all these bros. Just give him a shot. Hey. Just give him a shot. Just give him a shot. Just give him a shot. Just give him a shot. Just give him a shot. Just give him a shot. I hate you. Okay, call him. Call him, call him. I'm gonna be changing the show from Nikki tonight to Picky Nikki. Picky Nikki. Dude, let's call him Picky Nikki. I'll create a sound for that. I don't mind you calling it Picky Nikki. I'll go, Picky Nikki. It's Picky, Picky Nikki. And I'll put like a 50s radio theme song. Okay, call him. Let's do this. How about 26 tall and skinny? 26 tall and skinny. That sounds just like my type if I was a pedophile. And there's a picture here too. I am 31. There's a picture here, but there's no phone number. Sorry, pal. You lose. You lose. Sorry, you just missed out on the date of your life, fella. Well, I happen to be 6'1", 26. Oh my God. This guy, where did he get 6'1 from? While they're searching for these, I want to know what your worst dating experience was of your entire life. Me? What was the worst date, undate, hookup, whatever that you've ever had? You don't have to say names, but I want to hear. Okay. You can only choose one. Okay. I was, and obviously when you're younger, they're so much more important to you. Right. Okay. So I was 16 years old and I had this crush on this girl and she knows who she is. Her name is Tawny. She's my favorite. She listens to the show still. She listens to the show. Actually, I asked her to call in. She didn't want to call in. So pfft. We got the text messaging brigade over here on the other side of the window. And so I had a crush on her. Okay. I was in 10th grade. We were both in 10th grade and I invited her to go have pizza with me across the street. Okay. That means play Nintendo and have sex. No, no sex. It was pizza. Okay. I was like, I'm going to invite you to pizza and Coke. Okay. Okay. Because I was 15 years old. Well, your dad was Cuban and Tony Montana, so pizza and Coke. And so, so we go and I'm, keep in mind, I'm wearing white shorts that day. I don't know why. I never owned white shorts after this, but I wore white shorts that day. Okay. And, uh, when we sat down, I had my big cup of Coca-Cola right in front of me. Oh no. It, it, uh, it, it, it dropped. Um. Oh no. It went all in my, just my, my wiener area. My balls and my wiener right there. So my white shorts had a big brown, uh, Coke stain on it. Yup. And so I had to walk back. In white shorts. To school in white shorts with her. You know, I had my books kind of covering me and I just, I think I got them, I had a scooter back then. And so I think I just got on my scooter and just. Were those like white ocean Pacific shorts or something cool? Yeah, they're OP. They're probably OP. Yeah, they had to be. Yeah, yeah, they're OP. Um. I teach you to wear white after a labor day. I know, I know. And I just spilled a big Coke on my lap. That was one of the, one of the, because I've had many, I've had many other ones. Did she never talk to you again? We talked today. We actually. Really? Yeah, we, we ended up. The cool thing about this girl, she became a, a Raiderette cheerleader. Oh really? She's a, she's a very good looking girl. Did she cheerlead with Angela? I don't know. Oh. She did. But she, I think she did. Yeah. That was a girl who died, right? Or. Angela Johnson. Oh no, no, there's another one that, no, she didn't with Angela. Oh okay. Another girl that died, I think she did. Um, but she was also with Sylvester Stallone. Really? Yeah. She was also with Sylvester Stallone. And so when I see, I'm hoping to see Sylvester Stallone one day and tell him, hey, you and me. Hey buddy. We got something in common. You and me. Hey yo. Six degrees of sexpiration, bro. What, what? Hey yo Rocky, yo Rocky. We got something in common. Hey. Yeah. We've been with the same girl. Yo Rocky. We had to do the same checkup, yo. That's a true story. And then, you know what? And then, and then I always kind of whisper in, in like when I see her. Right. I always tell her, you know, hey, me and Sly. Me and Sly were on the Sly. Me and Sly, man. I can't wait to see Sly until me and Sly. That's so awesome. So. So. So. Now, should we should should should should should should should should should should Get paid to shit. S-H-I-T. Get paid to shit. $2,500. He likes the bukkake. Now listen to this. Are you a female that has been told many times you have a great butt? Perhaps you like showing it off or wearing tight jeans and clothing? Nope, not me. We are casting for a European scat video that features women shitting on men. That's disgusting. No sex at all. This is a very fun, simple video that pays quite well. I'm sorry. Stop. Further work available if you do well. Shut up. Can we turn his mic off? Mask a lot if you want to cover your face. You know, the worst part about it is they're only paying $2,500. Didn't he hear us when we said we don't like anal? I know, right? Wouldn't you respect that? In any way, $2,500 worth of respect. I'm having the gurgles in my tummy. The gurgles. The gurgles are just gurgling and gurgling. That's sick. That's really gross. All right. Now time for the news. What's Adrian's worst date? Male or female? Oh. I'm joking. Oh, it was with an Asian guy. That was Asian day. Dicks. Those Asian dicks, they're so small. I can say what would have probably been my worst date or non-date, basically. Going to a movie with me. If it went through. So let me just explain. Okay. So we actually. What? What? Okay. So since he's been drinking out of this bottle with me, look at Adrian. He's got red lipstick on his lips. Oh, dude. That's not cool. That's not cool. Come here. He's like, I'm not. I'm not ready. I put lipstick on. It's not nine o'clock yet. I put lipstick on at nine o'clock. All right. So yeah, me and Nikki were supposed to go watch a movie on Thursday. This is not nice. I was in a car accident on Thursday. Yeah, dude. You're so insensitive. You're going to call her out on that? Oh, wait, wait. No, it was Friday. Okay. No, no. I wasn't going to call on it. I was going to do it, but then obviously we had to meet up and record. Right. So he canceled on me and it didn't matter because I was in a car accident. No, no, no. She was just like saying, by the way, I have to make sure that I'm not going to do it. Okay. I'm going to mention I'm going to be very whiny. And I was like. What? No, I didn't. You said you were going to be very. I'm going to look up the message, you liar. Okay. No, I think it was whiny or it was I'm going to be very. Yeah, you're going to be very whiny. No, I did not. Okay. Yeah, you did. You wrote that. I did not. Okay. Anyway, what's your real worst date? Come on. Getting off subject. My real worst one? No, his. I heard yours. I don't want to hear his. Okay. Time for the news anyways. Oh, okay. I like news. I like news. My show. You can tell your friends. You're the director. You're the director. I don't want to be a director. I did not say that. I am going to my trailer. Why do I get to do the news? What is my motivation? I'm going to my trailer. On the news today. I'm going to my taco truck. Okay. I'm going to my taco truck. All right. You guys are drunk now. Relax. No, I'm not. Okay. Okay. A snake strangles two children in New Brunswick. Canada. Did you hear about this? This is sad. Listen to me. They believe that a reptile has strangled two boys, okay, aged five and seven. The boys were staying overnight at a friend's apartment above the pet shop. And then somehow there was a pet shop. There was a pet shop under the apartment. The snake slipped out of the cage overnight and traveled through the ventilation. I'm listening. The serpent has been captured by the cops and then they strangled the boys. That's horrible. Isn't that? You know what? That reminds me of, there was a similar story when I was in college. You might remember this. It was when they started banning the outdoor play areas for like McDonald's and Burger King and stuff like that. It was in Tucson, Arizona. A Burger King had one of those outdoor play areas with the balls or whatever that the kids like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So a little, I guess it was a three-year-old or a four-year-old went into the play area in Tucson, Arizona. And all of a sudden he just started crying like profusely. He was like, why is he crying? And the mom thought he was just like scared playing and she pulls him out and he's got little marks all over his body. There was a nest of baby rattlesnakes in that play area and the baby ended up dying like four hours later. And that's when they banned those outdoor play areas. Now they have to be completely enclosed. If you've noticed that. Yeah. Yeah. There's no more outdoor ones. It was because of this incident and Burger King got in so much trouble for it. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. That's horrible. That's sad. Oh yeah. And it was like, talk about rattlesnakes. Like all that, that baby stood no chance. Uh huh. That's really sad. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So I mean, got choked by a snake. And then the worst part is, is the parent like allow, I mean, let the child go over a friend's house, obviously babysitting. It's like, oh my God, that would just kill me. Yeah. You know, when you could take that one day away, like, oh, and then. As a parent, you're just living in what it shoulda, couldas. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't want to panic like that. Right. Oh my God. On a lighter note here. Please. Yeah. Mr. Harrison Ford. Oh, I love him. Will replace Bruce Willis in Expendables 3. Oh, I don't like that. Yeah. Oh, really? I know. It's just like, add more old guys in the movie, right? Right. But at least Bruce Willis is a badass old guy. I mean, you saw Harrison Ford in the last Indiana Jones. It was like slow motion rope climbs and swings. I mean, why don't they get Robert Redford and Paul Newman to, you know, to chase bad guys in wheelchairs? Let's just bring them all. You just have, you just have a bad record of bringing out dead people. Paul Newman's dead. We should just make. I know. That's the whole joke. Bring them out from the dead. I know. We should just bring a bunch of old guys and call them the retireables. The retireables. Hey, but Sylvester Stallone's in this movie. So my buddy, you know, we got something in common. You know, you got something in common. We got something in common. Me and Sylvester. Right. What about, hey, what about A-Rod? A-Rod. What about him? You know, A-Rod? The most hyper. The most overpriced, overvalued, underrated, but overrated. Can you believe this guy? He's now appealing. Right. He's appealing Major League Baseball. Right. For suspending him for 200 and I think it's 17 games. I'm glad he's gone. I'm sorry. I was a huge Yankees fan growing up because I worshiped the ground Bernie Williams walked on. But that's like a true ball player. Somebody that like, even when they're up, even when they're down, they stick with the team. He never like got into. He never got into the performance enhancing drugs and A-Rod's just a cry baby. I mean, he, his stats really don't. I mean, when you get caught, you get caught, right? But his stats, what's funny is with all those performance enhancing drugs, his stats don't really reflect what kind of player he is because he never comes through when teams need him. Right. Right. He can always hit home runs when nobody's on base. Right. I mean, I've been one to like tell a lie. Right. Right. And keep it stretching while my mother's. Trying to get the truth out of me or something. No, no, mom. I didn't. I didn't. Whatever. Whatever. But when I had the proof in the pudding, like. You can't deny it. You know, it's like all of a sudden I just had to say, you know what? You got me. Right. He's like, you know, I hooked up with this chick that was taking performance enhancing drugs and somehow got in my bloodstream. It's like an STD. Yeah. No, he's busted. He needs to just let it go. So we have another article here. Facebook. Changes. News feed. To kill updates from your boring friends. How do they decide what updates are boring? I know how to decide which friends are boring, right? If it's a Marilyn Monroe quote, it's gotta go. Don't be sad. People are, in fact, listening. Okay. As long as you're not boring, that is. Great. This is going to give comedians like. I know. Another. Another gauge. Oh my gosh. They're going to be like, my jokes aren't good enough because they're not posting them on news. I mean, no more. Hey, did you hear about skills? Skills? Yeah. No. He's missing. Really? Yeah. Since when? Well, yesterday I was at the Sunset Room. Okay. Cheer up. Are you okay? Yeah. Okay. He's pensive. It's called pensive. Are you pouting again? Do you want to talk? We'll give you 20 seconds. I'm listening, bro. Okay. He's pensive. You're talking about all these real world issues. You see when it gets serious, Adrian gets serious. Okay. So if you go to skills page. Skills Hudson is a comedian. Very funny guy. If you go to his page, there's like down the timeline, you'll see, hey, where's skills? He's missing. We need to find him. Where are you? Hey, you know, where are you skills? You're missing. Where are you? And then he was also booked last night at the Sunset Room. No way. And so somebody said that, oh, he's good news. Skills is okay because someone tagged him at the Sunset Room. That was last night. And then, but he wasn't there. He wasn't there. He wasn't there. And then, so then the guy. The guy who said, oh, he's okay. He goes, okay, seriously. Anyone know what happened to skills? I hope he's okay. Is that the Amber Alert? Is it on skills? I don't know. The Amber Alert that everybody's talking about. I guess it wouldn't help if I called him. The last time I, yeah. Do you have skills number? I think I do. I don't have it. So give him a call right now. See what's going on. Hopefully. License plate number. When's the last time you did a show with skills? I did one like about two weeks ago with Rudy Moreno and skills. Skills was there. It's been over. It was on a Wednesday. It's been over a month and a half. It's been over a month or so since I've seen him. No, I was with him last week. I'm sorry. The 17th. Okay. July 17th. So that was about three weeks ago. That's really sad. I'm telling you. And they have no idea what's happening. Well, somebody mentioned something that he had like a bad show or he had, he wanted to get picked up on something and he didn't. And so then there's no hearing from him. And you know how this stuff can be sometimes, you know, we can. Yeah, but. Take it to. I mean, we get down on ourselves sometimes, but. Sure, sure. We don't completely fall off the face of the planet. Yeah. Yeah. That's not, that's not something. So skills, if you're listening. Please let somebody know that you're okay. Please. I don't even think he ever heard. I know. I have a podcast. Skills, if you're listening, you have his number? I'm looking. This is a brand new iPhone. I don't think it downloaded from my iTunes yet. Okay. Yeah. I have it at my place. I'll call him tonight. Okay. Call him tonight. Get back to us. Let us know how it's going. Okay. So that's not in the news. Okay. Okay. It's not in the news, but it's in the comedy news. Right. It's in the comedy news. We're talking about that. We were on Facebook, Facebook Boring Friends. Okay. Oh, we got a call. Oh, we got a call. Oh my gosh. Maybe it's about skills. All right. Who is calling his radio? Or did that guy call me back? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hi. Who's this? Hey. This is Mike. Mike. Hey. Hi. This is, this is Amy. How are you? Good. Good. How's everything? I got a missed call from this number. Oh, yeah. I think I was responding to an ad you posted on Craigslist for a personals ad. Okay. Okay. So what exactly are you looking for? No. Actually, it's not. Yeah. I work for a radio station. Oh, okay. So what, I mean, what are you looking for? Well, I asked you that question. So you're asking a question with a question? Well, it's, uh, I mean, you saw the ad, right? Well, right. I know you're really muscly. Come on. You want massages. I know you want massages. Uh-huh. So basically, you just want me to give you massages and you don't return the favor. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hello? Yeah, he hung up. He asked a question with a question. Okay. This relationship would have never worked. He got away. Okay. This is what happens when you throw too many scenarios at me and call too many numbers. I got him mixed up with the dude that was the fit fetish dude. Yeah. This was the massage guy. That just wanted me to be a personal assistant that lived in his basement. This was the massage guy. All right. Hey, uh. How am I supposed to get all these psychos straight if you don't tell me? To all our listeners. To all our listeners out there. Uh, we're going to be doing this a lot more often. Um. That's just really. That's just really sad. We're going to be calling, uh, some of these numbers. This is kind of fun, actually. It was very fun. I liked it. And, uh, but now it's movie time. Even though we didn't go watch one yet. I did. You punk. I'm so mad now. In my time of pain in a car accident, you went to a movie without me. He's a frigging. He's so selfish. He's a movie employee. He's so selfish. He's a movie employee. I don't think he can be so selfish. Yo, Adrian. What? What? What you seen in the movies? Yo, Adrian. Yo, Adrian. I saw Wolverine. You punk ass. Wait a minute. You said that last week. Yeah. No, I didn't. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. You were arguing about the. Oh, he got in an argument about the Wolverine with Rob. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Because Rob's like a comic book nerd. I mean, I love X-Men, but. Okay. Maybe you know the answer to this. Okay. All right. Well, it was mostly. Okay. Okay. He had an issue with the timeline. And I said, well, it's fine. The timeline's fine. Because Wolverine would obviously have met Xavier. Right. When in back in Origins. He didn't meet Xavier in Origins. He met Xavier in. He was. Xavier was in Origins. But, you know. Right. What's it called? He wasn't in the same scene with him. Right. They didn't know each other until the original X-Men. That released or whatever. Yeah. X-Men last stand when he does a scene where he's like, fuck off. Right. That. Yep. We had an argument where it's like, oh, that doesn't make sense. Cause he saw him in Origins and he would have known who he was. And I was like, no, it wasn't like that. Cause he wasn't even in the same scene. He wasn't in the same scenario that was happening. Okay. You hear that nerds? You call next week at 1-800-893-9562. Yeah. You call next week. 1-800-893-9562. Give us the answer to that. My biggest concern was the fact that they made. Like Rogue, a child in the X-Men movies. She wasn't a child. She was an adult. And Gambit was her love interest in the comic books. I know. I'm a nerd. Yeah. I get lost in all that. And I love Gambit. Stuff. He had a weak character. Yeah. I get lost in all that stuff. You got everybody in the sound booth nodding their heads, agreeing with you guys, but I get lost in that stuff. I'm serious. Right. Gambit was such a great character in the comic book. They made him a pussy in the movies and gave him a very short cameo role. You really, you don't know this stuff? Good. You're on my page? Okay. Okay. I'm disappointed. Okay. I need to just take off my tits. We're waiting. Well, I'll just give them to the Craigslist guys. Okay, Nikki, where are you going to be at? We're coming to the end of the show. That was a nice, fun two hours. Thank you, Nikki, for being with us. Oh, yeah. It was fun. I want to thank our guests for not showing up and not calling and not confirming and continue your success. That was our fun. First guest not showing up and not calling just completely. It's okay. We handled it. We had fun. We handled it good. And I got some very non- We filled in as much as we wanted to. Non-positive dating advice, but that's okay. Adrian, what are they showing at your work? Where are you going to be at next? What are we? Oh, we're going to go watch Meet the Millers. Yeah. Oh, when's that? I want to see that. Yeah, you want to see that? It's actually at midnight tonight. Can I be the third wheel with you guys? Yeah. Let's go. Wait, we got something to go do after this. Well, we'll do that and then we can go. I'll meet you guys there at midnight. At midnight? Okay, man. We can go to my work afterwards. I don't live that far. I'll meet you at midnight. Maybe. That's a maybe because we got to wake up early tomorrow. Oh, my God. Okay. We got filming to do tomorrow. You're the director, Rick. Yes. Yeah. What do you know? You're the director. All right. Okay. No, I had a show at John Lovett's this next Saturday, August 11th, but they took me out of Atlanta because they want some of their own people. So I'm moved to September 28th. Okay. All right. Anything else, Nikki? I feel better. Thank you for- Thank you for- Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for letting us keep Nikki. Yeah, thank you. El Grande Senor in El Cielo. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for letting us keep Nikki. Muchas gracias. Yeah. I'll be at the Brea Improv tomorrow night, 8 o'clock- Cool. With Rob DeRocha and I believe Chris Dunham, Julio G., and Tony Ogan. Oh, I'm going to come watch that. Yeah, you should come join us. It's going to be fun. And next Monday, the 12th, I'll be at Universal Bar and Grill right down the hill from Universal Studios. And I'll be there also. I'll be there also on the 26th, Monday the 26th. There's a late one at 1030 and then- I think I'm on one of those with you, actually. Awesome. Awesome. I'll also be at the Park Bar the 22nd. I'll be at the Lexington the 28th. And I'll be at KC Barnigan's, I think it is. KC Barnigan's somewhere in Long Beach on the 29th, the end of the month. Cool. And I got two tickets to a clean show on Sunday the 18th. If you want to come and bring your kid- Bring your grandma. Come and join us. We're done. Thank you very much, Nikki. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much, Adrienne. Thank you very much. I love you, Adrienne. Skid Row Studios. And make sure you keep on tuning in to Skid Row Studios and listen to all the shows they have here. Lots of fun. Heck yeah. Peace. We're out. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.