Sideshow performers Rip Spreader and Dangerous D with fire eating

Say, this is Dr. Skid Row. Hello, this is Dr. Skid Row. That's a good accent. Because I don't want, never did I, was I the one who called? I don't need the nut. Are we rolling? Ringing? Yeah. This is the first time you've ever called? Yeah. Let's see what happens. Hello? Do you think he hung up? He answered and hung up? I don't know. Let's try one more time. I mean, that's the thing is, it's so unpredictable. My stomach sunk. You might see the 800 number and freak out. I don't know. That's true. Like, this could be, like, the biggest moment. Like, God. Like, if it's God. Right, yeah. He never called again after that. Hello? Do you hear a pickup that says, this is Dr. Skid Row? This is Dr. Skid Row. Hello? It's ringing more than it did the last time, isn't it? Seems to be. Hello, this is Dr. Skid Row. Please leave your message for Peyton Hirack. That was the wrong number. Hold on. Who is that? That was a different number. It's a new number. Yes, hello, this is Dr. Yes, hello. Hi, this is John. I really am not looking forward to hearing from anyone. Hello. Yes, how are you? This is Dr. Skid Row. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording... He's nuts. That was the guy. Leaving a nonsensical outgoing message. That was his message. You should leave him a message. His mind's being blown right now. First time he hung up, I bet. Second time he let it go to voicemail. Hello. Hello, this is Dr. Skid Row. Hi, Mom. This is John. I really am not looking forward to hearing from anyone. Some sort of a Chinese message. Bye-bye. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options. Hello. Hello, this is Dr. Skid Row. I hear all your messages. What do you want? What do you want? Speak to me. Hello. I hear all your messages. This is Dr. Skid Row. I get 50 messages a day from you. Hello. Hello. Apparate your frequencies. Tune in. Tune in. Tune in. Oh, CD. CD. Oh, I want a sausage. I want a sausage. Lighter. Lighter fluid. Lighter fluid. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Drumstick. Drumstick. Drumstick. Drumstick. Oh, I like linoleum. I like linoleum. Wallpaper. Wallpaper. Wallpaper. Ashes butt. Spank me. Spank me. Spank me. I've had a bad boy. I've been a bad boy. I've been a bad boy. Oh, hello. It's Dr. Skid Row. I'm hearing you. I'm getting all your messages. I am tuned into you. Bow. Bow. Bow. Buh. Buh. Buh. Ruff. Ruff. Ruff. Ruff. Ruff. Ruff. Oh, man. That guy's going to go nuts. That's even better. He's going to fucking go crazy. Dr. Skid Row, are you prepared to hand over the scoliosis check for the Ruff food complaint? I've noted down, apparently we had medical doctor Stephanie Phillips was definitely the Ursula. She was definitely the Ursula. PUNISHMENT DEMANDS INTENDED PUNISHMENT. WHILE I ENTERED ARKANSAS STATE BANKS, FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER AND CONCLUDED ANY POSSIBLE CONVERSATION FOR THE POLICE OFFICER. I UNDERSTAND THE NUMBERS OF THE POLICE EXISTENCE IN JAIL, AND I UNDERSTAND THE NUMBERS OF about the impact with the Dave Stevens that has changed my life. I understand Dave Stevens has entered Box Hill, has entered Cedarwood Sits. Dave Stevens, have you entered Cedarwood Sits as a police defense fund referee? Well, I just lost another good man in my life. Those in trustful harness, Dave Stevens, definitely trace Dave Stevens. Even Stevens, yes, it is. Yes, Dave Stevens, even Stevens, those in trustful harness. Okay. And then I wanted to give him a chance to listen to your message. Hello, it's Dr. Skidron. It's Dr. Skidron. Okay, psych. Hello, this is Dr. Skidron. I'm good. He answers and then hangs up. I think he's having a mental breakdown because, you know. It's weird. Isn't that some weird shit, though? What's going on in that guy's head? Rip Spreader, what was your favorite part of Dave Stevens' show? My favorite part, when he announced the stripper that came on stage. Oh, wait a second. Was there a stripper on stage? What happened? What kind of show was this? It was actually, right here. It was hosted by the Curioso podcast. Right, right. And the tiki goddess came out and did some boy-lesque. Boy-lesque? And it was fucking phenomenal. I'm sure that's what he's referring to as the stripper. So, tiki goddess had a little extra down there? The tiki goddess was unbelievable. A little bit of God. So, something else was sticking straight up with the tiki goddess? That's right, yeah. The tiki goddess was definitely, had its pineapples there that day. So, Rip Spreader, you... I didn't even know who you were and I walked into the show and there was this giant balloon or something on stage and they were blowing it up and so I was just watching it and then the balloon popped and you came out of it. I thought that was pretty cool. Wow. That's kind of crazy. That's the balloon thing we were talking about. Rip Spreader, you rock, man. I appreciate the support. Yeah, man. Sounds good. Okay, let me know when you're coming back out. How do you put it on your website or something? I will. I'll keep it posted. Make sure you hit me up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, all that stuff. Good deal. All right, man. Rip Spreader, you're the man. You rock, brother. Yeah, you do. Thanks, Rip Spreader. All right, bye. Later. Bye. Keep spreading them ribs. I don't want to know why you're doing Rip Spreader. I'm trying to picture it. Yeah, well, how did you get that name? He sounded kind of like a Jeffrey Dahmer. He was like, and, um, yeah, I think I'd love to, um... I really enjoyed when you introduced the strutter. Rip Spreader. That's a freaking scary name. Nicole, you could write a story about that. I could totally write a stripper. That could be one of your horror stories. Because, I mean, you know, a tiki stripper with a little bit extra. Yeah. Mark and a totem. A tiki stripper should be called Rip Spreader. Hell, I could put them on the road together. They could be an act. I can open up for them. That sounds awesome. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Rip Spreader. That's fucking rad. Yeah. I want to be a part of this. I want to be like, hey. But, yeah, I was going to say, you weren't, you, you, you went back east. You performed in Washington. And, uh, and you, so, and you're back. And you're, um, so, uh, now, you, you've got this YouTube show now. Uh, yeah, yeah. It's, um, it's my own, like, web series. And basically what happened was I was shooting tons of shit and people would show, like, send me footage of shows and just crazy clips and all kinds of stuff. So, I compiled all this shit and I was like, what the fuck am I going to do with this? So, instead of, like, putting it on, like, just like a full length DVD, I actually released it as a monthly web series. Right. You know, Living Dangerously. So, we dropped these things and featured, like, all my homies' bands and the music in it and stuff. I mean, it's really, the angles and the veins to it are awesome. There's a lot of different things going on, sponsors and stuff that I've had, you know, throughout the years and stuff. Um, and we actually released it on DVD as the web series with some unedited shit. We got Sword Swallowing, Stunt Gun, Backyard Fire. Nice. So, you do shoot fire. You eat it and... Oh, yeah. Eat it, breathe it, spit it, love it. What was the first time you ate fire? I mean, how do you get... The very, the very first time, believe it or not, like, now, a regular, a regular torch for, like, a fire torch, the head on the torch that you're actually extinguishing in your mouth is pretty big. It's pretty large. It's about, like, maybe about the size of a golf ball if you're doing it right. Okay. So, the first time I do it is a buddy of mine, Christopher Scarborough. He was the host, he's the host of the Curioso podcast. And, um, he's the one that got me in a sideshow and he came to me and he took a, he took a paper clip and unfolded it and wrapped a little tiny piece of a t-shirt around it. It was, like, the size of literally, like, a Q-tip. He lit it on fire. He said to try to eat it. I went to go eat it and I burned my lip and I, like, threw it and I was like, I'm never gonna do fire again. I said, the only way I would ever do fire or learn how to eat fire, and I got a mustache, you know what I mean? Like, I was like, I was like, Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Now you got it curled up. Right. And you know what? I was gonna say, if I get a little too crazy doing fire, I end up losing it. I have to shave the whole fucker off and start over. But then I ended up ultimately learning from Chris and this guy named Todd Robbins who's a heavy hitter in the world of sideshow. And I told my buddy Chris, I was like, I only learn to eat fire if Todd Robbins teaches me. So like an asshole, he signed us up for one of his classes and boom, learned how to eat it. And if you look on the backyard fire, you're shooting quite a ways. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. How long has it been now? I've been performing sideshow for about six, maybe seven years, full time, all the fucking time for the past two years. So why the handlebar? And how do you get that? I don't know, right? You should know. You're Italian. I look in the mirror and just fucking flex and that bitch is like, pow, fucking happens. You know what I mean? It's good. It's good. Houdini's my fucking mini-me. Houdini's like, you know what I mean? But it's one of those things too because we get paired up and we do a lot of shows together and now we're like the Stash fucking brigade. I love it. Nice. You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys need to get like little singlets and little weights. I was like, fuck it. Yeah, I was going to say, fuck it. Let's just start. I can do the bass fucking. Oh man. Speaking of people who actually can sing, Joy, now you're going on a European tour. It's very exciting. I am. I am. I'm going to Istanbul next week. Oh wow. Is that Europe? Well actually, we got a lot of Turkey. He did actually. Turkey has half, half of it is in Europe, half of it is in Asia. Right. So, and then I'm going to do, I'm going to go back to Denmark for one day and then go to Canada. Yeah, well he's actually here now. He's in California, but yeah, he's from Denmark and I met somebody, I'm at the ASCAP Music Expo so I left, there was like this huge networking event and I was like, oh bye guys, I got to go. So everybody's there and you know, there's free booze so people are starting to get drunk and I'm like, oh I got to do a radio show. So any famous names you want to drop that you were hanging out with? It's mostly behind the scenes people. Oh okay. You wouldn't know, it's a musician. Oh really? No, I'm just kidding. You would. Sorry about that. She means like the roadies. Yeah, yeah. You look for a... No, but like you know, engineers and producers. There's the guy who discovered Megan Trainor, actually Kevin Kardish. I met him, he retweeted me and because they're doing like panels so there's educational, you know, it's called the I Create Music Expo and so I'm there, it's from day until night and that's the next couple days that's going to consume my life. And are people like recognizing you from the Grammys? Yes, actually. People are like, oh my God, we saw you at the Grammys. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, it was really cool. It was really cool. I mean, people that, you know, like there's an A&R company that I work with sometimes for, you know, I submit things and then they put my music for radio and TV and they said the whole office was talking about it, the Grammys. I was like, ah. No, you broke the internet. People are coming up to me now. I used to come up to the people and be like, hey, you know, find me on Instagram. Now they're coming up to me. It's really, it's really awesome. That's great. Yeah. That's great. And I have a show this Monday. Yep. I know about that. That's right. And I know how I know about that. I will be there. Where is it at? You're invited to it. Oh, really? Nicole booked me. I booked her. That's fucking awesome. Badass woman. Yes. By the way, I can actually say this now. I'm also booking stuff with the whiskey. So if you ever want to play the whiskey. That's nice. Thank you, Nicole. Or if you ever want to play the whiskey, Daniel. Yeah. You let me know you ever want to freak. Freak? You let me know. We should do a show. I would love to have a freak. You let me know. I would love to have a freak. I'm so down. I'm so down. I'm just so crazy because I do like pop rock. Yeah, that's awesome. But I get crazy with the rock and roll. That would be great with some fire. No, no, no. I can see the two of you. That's why I want to pair you guys up because I can tell you guys would totally hit it off. Can we bring fire in the whiskey? I don't know. Fire in the whiskey? We had some stuff for the Mushroomhead show. I would have to get permission. I'm not sure they'd say yes. No, but there's other things that Daners do. You know, old buildings. Actually, that's a good cue. It's Monday. It's Monday. Monday night is the rainbow. Monday night, yeah. You definitely can't bring fire in the rainbow. You can smoke outside on the patio, though. Right. Okay, that's good. Depends what you smoke. You can smoke outside on the patio. You can smoke. Yeah, it's pretty liberal out there. What time does the show start? It starts at nine. But we're doing dinner at eight, so anyone who wants to come out to eat, we're going to do dinner. Now you're telling me. Yeah, we're going to eat. And I usually have dinner there every Monday anyway. Perfect. The girl's going to be there. She's setting it up. We have dinner in a movie. Dan and I invited to dinner as well. Yeah. Everybody, everybody is here. You guys are VIPs. Anyway, we're rolling hard. Yeah, we're playing. Well, before you say you want to have Dangerous D on your show, you might want to see what he has to do. Dangerous D is going to give us some examples of what he does. All right, yeah. I have a few things. It looks like I don't want to crush a whole lot of time, so I'm going to do two bits for you. Okay. And you can kind of check out. Get a small little dose of what's going on. Yeah, you don't want to Yeah, you don't want to do everything. Do you get in trouble if I break shit and fuck shit up in here? Well, probably. Like you'll get in trouble for that whole other day? No, don't break anything. We're in the window shaking our heads. Jenny's like, don't break anything. Try not to break anything. It isn't going to be me held accountable. Well, then I'll just use just a few of the objects I found in here. Right, right. So this first bit that I'm going to do, it's called the human hourglass. Mark, you may want to film. I'm going to film this. Hold on, hold on. Let me get the Wait a second. Get yourself situated. Get situated. Jenny says the camera looks fine. So we're going to do the human hourglass now. All right. This is exciting. So this is what I was talking about where in the world of Sideshow, this is something that I made up on my own. 100%. I actually made this up as a Sideshow stunt and a feat. And I've done it so much and it's gotten so popular that literally up and coming cats that are doing Sideshow do this shit now. Wow. And that's what I was saying is that you can do a lot of shit and do all the heavy hitting stuff in Sideshow, but you got to fucking do something new. You have to do the blockhead. You have to do. Yeah, you got to do all the traditional shit to have respect and know. Right. And it helps you learn, you know, your stage presence and what to do. But if you want to stick around, you want world records and shit like that, you want to get paid for what you do, you got to bring something brand new to the table. And this, you have the world record on this. I do. Wow. Yes, I do. I actually have two different records for this one. Okay. And so the reason why I called the human hourglass, two different reasons here. One is literally I've traveled the world performing Sideshow. Right. I haven't learned too much. Not a whole lot of shit, but I have learned one thing that literally time waits for no man, especially not me, Dangerous D, the human hourglass. Oh my God. Now the reason I called the human hourglass is because I'm going to take this industrial zip tie and constrict it. I'm going to pull it as hard as I can and my waist is going to constrict to the size of a bagel. Whoa. So yeah, dudes. Right. Don't try this at home. Please don't. Don't try it at home. Don't get jealous. And as mentioned before, I don't watch stuff like this. One of my few things I won't watch. You won't watch this? You have to. I told you we're going to embarrass you. Now you have to watch. Dangerous D. Now you have to watch this. Okay. A little closer to the table. Oh my God. I'm excited. Is he good? Is he good? He's good. He's good. Okay. Nicole, you got to watch this. No. I'm okay. Well, then you're just going to have to start clapping for me. Clap for me. Start clapping for me. I'm cheering for you. I'm rooting for you I can't hear you. Nicole, I can't hear you. I'm sure you're awesome. Oh. That sounds terrifying. Oh, you guys see this? Oh. Okay. Oh my God. Look at that. You would be so jealous of this waistline right now. Look at this. He's touching the waist. He's touching the waist. Look at your eyes, Nicole. Look at your eyes. Oh my God. Oh my God. Good job. The human hourglass. That's the human hourglass. There might be blood in my underwear. Oh. That's okay. That's okay. That happens like three times a day. Three times a week. Yes. So that is the human hourglass. And like I said, I wanted to show you that because that is something that I guarantee you you're not going to see that anywhere else in the world. That's the whole reason you come to the sideshow. To see something you won't see anywhere else. Exactly. You won't forget. Speaking of which, let me move over here to my next installment. Okay, do it. Hold on one second. I'm going to work the microphone here. All right. I know we can hear you, but let's close out a little. And I'm going to try to watch this. If I look away, I'm just being pressed. Try it, Nicole. Jen. Jen, yeah. Jen. Jen can vouch too. I didn't rig this. I didn't bring this with me. I actually came here a little early and walked around and found the heaviest fucking portable thing that I can find. Right. Wow. And it was this fucking stepstool. Oh my God. So this is real. And these chains are real. It's the ears that are fake. As you notice, there is a Skid Row Studios sticker on there because that was just literally hanging around the studio. And I was like, hey, he's got his ears. There's a sticker on there. Dark Mark, give me an ATM. Huh? What's that? Oh, no, they're in my lobby. I've actually never done this before so I'm not sure if it will. Oh my God. Do you want to lift it with your hands so people can see how heavy it is? Yeah, this thing is... It's not light. I mean, it's a real stepstool. It has to be sturdy so you can do things with a light there. And it's actually not like a shit one. This isn't like the cheapest one at Depot. This is like the nice one. Oh my God. I'm going to attempt to... The only Skid Row Studios I think it's medium priced. I'm going to attempt a little work. If it does work and I get this thing up, you need to just scream and yell and shit. And by the way, people listening on audio, do you have things dangling from your earlobes? That's what you're going to be picking up. Yeah, these are well-pitched chains hooked to my ears with carabiners that are going to be hooked around this stepstool. Right. So yeah, if it works, scream and fucking yell. If it doesn't, just scream and fucking yell. We'll scream and yell. And the people on audio will never know. I won't scream anyways. Yeah. We got paper towels for the blood. Are you all right? Are you watching this, Nicole? I'm watching. This doesn't creep me out. Maybe it will if he fails. Oh my God. He's lifting it up with his ears. Oh my goodness. He is lifting it up. No. Oh my God. It's almost happening. Oh my God. Oh my God. That is amazing. This guy just lifted a stepstool with his earlobes. That is fucking real. That is real. That's real heavy. I can't hear shit right now. Congratulations. Congratulations. So that's what we call some Pierce weightlifting. I do work out kind of, right? Wow. Not conventionally, but we still get it in. Wow. That's awesome. That is so awesome. Amazing. How do you even train for that? That's crazy. So one thing grossed out Nicole and the other thing grossed out producer Jenny. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. This is almost as bad as when you brought plans. That's what I'm talking about. My ears are ringing. I'll bet they are. That was fun, though. You guys are fun. That's awesome. Good job. This is the type of thing that you do that updates the sideshow because you have the earlobes, the things that are, and you lift things with them. Now, when did you start doing that? It started, it was one of those things where when I got into sideshow, a buddy of mine got me into it because I was able to talk. I didn't do any stunts. He was performing, and his stage presence was garbage. He was sticking shit in his armpit, putting his ass to the crowd, not talking on the microphone. So I was like his fucking Flavor Flav. I just came out, started screaming and yelling, throwing shit all over the place, doing what I needed to do, hyping him up. And then it snowballed. I was like, show me some shit. He's like, well, you got to fucking figure shit out. Learn some shit, bring some shit to the deck. So I literally just tried. I mean, I tried hanging out of the trees with these fucking things. I tried every single thing you can think of. And that's why the web series kind of came in. We're shooting for the second season of that. Because I have literally footage of, like, failed feet attempts. The first time I tried to get a light bulb, I almost fucking died. You know what I mean? Trying to learn how to swallow a sword, shoving hangers down your throat. You know what I mean? So all that shit's been documented. We're getting ready to drop it. So you're going to drop the mistakes? Yes. Oh, that's good. That's going to be awesome. That's going to be super entertaining. I'm going to watch that. Behind the scenes, and just like what you said, like, the one question I get asked all the time, literally everywhere I go, is how did you do this? How did you learn to do this? How did you know you could fucking do that? Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. You don't wake up and think, I could swallow a sword or fucking, you know, banging down to your nose and do all that kind of shit. You know? Right. First, you got to be half fucking nuts. You got to be a little half fucking nuts. You got to be a little crazy. You got to be a little crazy. You got to be a little crazy. You got to be in there somewhere, you know? And literally, it's like. But you're fearless. You know? It's a mind over matter type of thing. It really is. I mean, your energy is like, I can try this. I can do this. There's no fear of failure. That's amazing. Because you know what? If you're not afraid of pain, because that's really what it is. Right. Granted, you do shit where you can literally die. You know what I mean? Right. You can actually lose your life and die. I ruptured my spleen doing the fucking human hourglass when I first started doing it because I didn't know anything about anatomy and I just fucking. Nicole's still like. Yeah. Nicole knows a lot about anatomy. And Joy knows a little about pain because I know you used to. I used to play. You used to do a little whip and chain play. Yeah. So you've been put through some pain. Yeah, that's right. That's right. You can't be afraid of pain. Yeah. Really? I mean, you have to. You know, it's just the same. This energy. You know, it's a certain type of person who really craves. That energy. It's that like adrenaline rush. Right. You know, and I mean, it's not everybody, but it can't always be everybody. There's a sense of control and power. Yeah. It is. He's talking about it. And the way you were discussing the fearlessness of it. Yeah. He knows what he can do. He knows his limits. And he likes to push it just a little bit. That's right. Yeah. And that entertains everybody. That entertains the rest of us. You know, and then it's just like a two way. And it really is. It's like, it's a bad, maybe a bad example, but it's like the car accident thing. Right. Everybody wants to see something. Some shit that like they don't normally see, especially if it's hurting someone else. As fucked up as it is. More than that. It is true. People are twisted and fucked up. They want to see that shit. The fact that you know that you're safe makes the audience feel safe. Right. Right. To experience it with you while feeling comfortable. Unless your head's turned away. She's getting deep in there. She's like a lot of people shit with her. I'm a visual person. By the way, that was the moment of intelligence by Nicole Sturgeon trying to have one on every show. But Joy, you just had a big Indeed GoGo campaign that was a triumph. Yeah, that's right. And I still don't know what you were raising money for. Well, you donated, didn't you? You bought a t-shirt. I donated. But you got a t-shirt. Thank you. I don't even need to know. I'm so involved. I'm so involved. I like the t-shirt design. Thank you. I like having you on my body. So I figured I would get a t-shirt. So I was going to get Nicole one. I didn't know if you wanted one or not. Of course she does. Yeah. Of course she wants one. Of course she wants one. So yeah, so the Indeed GoGo campaign for all the listeners is I did a t-shirt design of me at the Grammy. The snow fans. I'll try to show you a picture real quick. It's a snow fest t-shirt. I know. I know the t-shirt. And freaking people went nuts. And so I did an Indeed GoGo campaign. I said $2,000 to print the t-shirts and ship them out to everybody. Plus give away my music. You know. Yeah, that was. Tell them about the music. Tell them about the song and stuff. Yeah. So I have my songs. And then I have new music coming out as well. Well, that was what it was for, right? Yeah. It was for the new music so I could get a new music video put out. And I have this single dropping called Play. It's actually going to drop at my show. Me and Girl Crush are going to be performing it because we did it. We did a collab. I met her at the Grammys. So we did a collab. She literally filmed her scenes in the video here in LA. And I filmed mine in Denmark. Right. And so we hired an editor to put it together. Awesome. It looks really badass. So that's what the funds went for. And it was also like, you know, people are buying. They're pre-ordering my new music, my t-shirts, everything. So they're getting products in return. And I set the goal like kind of low, just $2,000. And I freaking made $3,000. Well, here's the thing. I got a panic email two days before saying, we're only at $1,800. Yes. And how did you get the $3,000? How did you get $1,200 in one day? I'm telling you, because it was like, if I don't make this, you know, literally there was like pressure from my management. They're like, basically it was like, if you don't make this, and plus I'm not someone who fails, you know, I'm going to do it. I'm not afraid of failing, but I don't accept defeat. I don't accept failing. So I was like, I can't do my first Indiegogo campaign and not make it. So I just sent out emails to everyone. I said, listen, you know, if you're a supporter of mine, if you're a friend of mine, please consider purchasing a t-shirt so we can make our goal. And I'm telling you, the last three hours, is when everybody pulled through. That's how it is. So you donated the rest of the money? By the time I got your email, she had already actually made her goal. No, I was about to. I was like, if it doesn't happen, I'll donate. I'm going to sell all these t-shirts today. Yeah. I was like, I'll make it. I'll make it. No, but I mean, literally people pulled through. Facebook friends, like everybody I know. And the great thing is like everyone in my community. Well, if you ever do that again, like you wouldn't know this because we've already discussed this. But that's what I used to do. So I will help you. Yeah, we're talking $100,000 campaigns. Oh my God, that's awesome. Nicole. Yes. I could use $100,000. Yeah, that's right. You can do it. It's an amazing thing. You know enough people. Because what I did is specifically I do celebrity campaigns. So you have to have. Oh, nice. I'll show you how to do it. Okay. Nicole, we're going to talk about it. We're going to talk. That's exciting. We're going to talk at Doomy's after the show about that. Yeah. We'll do it at Doomy's. You got a book here. Yeah. Please tell us about this. This is something that I thought you would dig. And especially being in the horror genre and stuff. I didn't write it because I can barely fucking read. I can barely read. But this is actually my first. But you can lift a ladder with your ears. Fuck yeah. And I know how to sell these fucking books. But this is actually my first published illustration works. Wow. A buddy of mine named John Lawson, another dude, Dustin LaVallee, had an idea. It's called A Child's Guide to Death. It's an A to Z illustrated guide of horrific ways to die. It's definitely not made for kids. So I'm not going to read it. But I appreciate it. There's like fucking bloody vaginas in here and all kinds of shit. Oh, well, that's my kind of ad. That's what I'm saying. That's horrifying. Good job. You can pick this up like everywhere. Fucking. I love this. You can get it off rawdogscreenpress.com. Wow. But I wanted to bring it. I got a copy for you guys so you can check it out. But like I said, I didn't write any of it. I just drew the whole fucking thing. That's awesome. How long have you been drawing? My whole life. Wow. I actually, I also do like, I do tattoos with my homies and stuff. I did that back home and shit. So I can always tell you. Real artists. Yeah. If you want a little anky danky, let me know. We'll get it done. We'll get it done. But yeah, I haven't done much promotion on this. So I figured it was something that would be like. Right. Let's talk to the camera, Joey. He makes easy as ABC. Definitely ABC. A child's guide to death, but not for children. This is for adults. Definitely. I mean, unless your children are fucked up. Raw dog screaming press. Yeah. But I got a copy. I'll let you guys check it out and let me know what you think. I love this so much. I know. Joey's like totally digging it. It fucking kills at horror conventions, dude. It's so complicated. It's only seven vaginas. I told you. Love it. I told you. Love it. You flip right to the bloody vagina and Nicole's digging it. No. What this makes me think of. This is fucked up. What this makes me think of is on A Thousand Ways to Die. No. Somebody killed. She killed herself masturbating with a carrot and part of the carrot broke off in her vagina and that always haunted me. Oh my God. I saw that episode. Yeah. I saw that. See, at the same time, those two people died in a bouncy castle because helium is poisonous and that one I thought was funny. So you never know what's going to fuck me up. That shit's awesome. Bouncy castle is dangerous. This is a true story. This could kill me. Lactose intolerant. Lactose intolerant, baby. Better stay away from that bloody ass butter. Because that's what'll happen, captain. So anyway, so where's the time go? Geez, I told you. I love this so much. Shit, I was just getting started. I know. You're just getting started. Joy. That's my teacher design, by the way. If people... Oh, yeah. I love it. I love it. I love it. I'll take one at a large. Can I just say, while I'm thinking about this, do not masturbate with carrots. Contact our sponsors. Get 50% off from Adam and Eve. Have safe sex. That's right. Go to our Facebook page, our Twitter page, our Tumblr page. Have safe sex. Get a vibrator set with carrots. You could probably get a custom real sex toy like a carrot. How can you die from that, though? How can you not... That broke off inside of her. But can't you get the carrot out? It broke off in his head. I don't know. I don't understand. You can get the carrot out, can't you? Yeah, he's alive. Joy, if people want to get your t-shirt, which I recommend, it's the Snow Fence. It's a Snow Fence t-shirt, and it's organic cotton, and we have children's sizes to grown-up, like XXX sizes. Right, right. And you can just go to joyvilla.com. Because the Indiegogo campaign has completed. It's great. Yet, you can still order from it, because we'll be shipping next week. Awesome. Do you want to represent? I was wondering what you were going to ship. That would be awesome. Thank you so much. Joyvilla. And if you can, come to the show, because we also have a surprise lined up involving new stuff. Just give me that one more time. It's Monday. Monday at the Rainbow. The Rainbow Bar is right on Sunset Boulevard. Yeah, it's for eight at eight. I'm in. Monday at eight. Rainbow, Monday at eight. The door is upstairs at 921 Over, because it's in a bar. So, that's right. But you can still come to dinner. All you just can come to dinner. But joyvilla.com. Follow her on Instagram. Yes. Follow her on Twitter. I'm going to follow her everywhere. Yes. That's how you're Instagram. And Jader's D. O. Hey, what shows do you have coming up? Oh, shit. Go to... DarrenMalfi.com. Yeah, four nights a week. Wow. Go to DarrenMalfi.com. D-A-R-I-N-M-A-L-F-I.com. Go to appearances. You can see everything from now until fucking next year. Nice. And you're going to be back at the California Institute of Abnormal Arts next month? Yeah, we're doing that as a regular show there. It's the last Friday of every month, the Beautiful Freaks Variety Show. That's where I saw you, and you were... I didn't see anything. I didn't see any stunts, but you did some hosting. I did, yeah. Well, I guess you missed my set because you were late. No. I was doing my own show at the hot cafe. I was going to be late. You know, we're busy people. But no, I love when I jump out. Usually, I'm walking around in the crowd getting stapled. No, no, no. I got that right. I'm always there right when you're getting stapled. He gets stapled to his body. Oh, my God. With money. Dollar bills to the body. Dollar bills. $10 to the ass, $20 to the face. If anybody's got a hundo, we'll get crazy. Did you provide the money, or did they provide the money? $100 gets a nutsack. That's genius. Hey, if you got the $100, just staple it to me. Fuck yeah. $100 goes to the balls. $20 to the face. That's your own Indiegogo campaign. You don't need an Indiegogo campaign. You raised $1,000. Those are the perks, right? Right. $100 and a t-shirt, you can get a ball sack shot. You want one? Yeah. Let's do it. There we go. Anyway, and Nicole6.com. Yes. All of your writing is on Amazon. And as I've mentioned before, I will have physical copies out now, or out very soon, like literally as I left my apartment today. It's in process. We got one quick caller. Caller? Go ahead. You're on the Dark Mark show. Yeah, I was logging onto Facebook, and I got like 600 people telling me that my brother is on the air right now. Oh. I had to call. And then when I call up, I hear about carrots and vaginas or something. I'm like, well, this must be the show. You're in the right place. Is this your brother, Dan? Is this Rondo? Aw. Yes. It is. What's happening, Kevin? This is my brother. What's going on, man? How you doing? Is this a police officer in Baltimore? We're on different sides of the country, so this is how I call up and make sure he's still alive when he's on the show. I call in and make sure he's still living and breathing. Yeah. I make sure it's not like a prerecorded thing that he's dead somewhere. He thinks I just make this shit up. Hey, Rondo, he lifted a stepladder with his ears. Oh, man. Tonight on the show. Oh, he did it easy tonight. Yeah. That was the only thing impressive we had in the studio. Hey, Rondo, where are you at? Are you in Baltimore or where are you at? I'm in Maryland, yeah. You're in Maryland. Okay. So, yeah, you're staying up late. It's almost midnight there. I am. I know. That's why I was checking his message and everybody's like, oh, your brother's on. I'm like, great. He's always on, like, in the West Coast. Right. Well, catch the replay. The replay of the show will be on this weekend. But do you do any stunts, Rondo? Do I do stunts? Yeah. I support his stunts. He actually, though, you should give it a quick plug, man. You need to go to my brother's website. What does he do? What does he do? No, no, no. No, you don't want him to go to your website? You should. He's too humble. Plug him. Rondo, what do you do? Yeah, Rondo. I do nothing. I was just calling him to give him a hard time. He said he doesn't know. To everyone listening, go to my Facebook page and I'll post it on there. Yeah. Oh, nice. Anyway, so that's, Rondo, we got to end the show, but I appreciate you calling in, buddy. Hey, no problem. Hey, Darren, have a good night, bud. Thanks, man. You rock, homie. All right. Love you, brother. Aw, that's so sweet. It is. It is. The family's calling in. That's like my idol, my older brother. Aw. He's my best friend. So this is your little brother? Okay. That's my older brother, but I also have a little, I have 100 siblings. Okay, you're Italian. Yeah, exactly. That was the older brother, Rondo, and that's my brother. Hey, everybody, have a wonderfully creepy week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. I'll open that for you. It's a weird idea. But yeah, go ahead. You were saying? I already said it. Oh, okay, great. No, it wasn't fulfilled. A friend of mine introduced me to him. So he brought him up to me and said, you know, he's been looking for a dom. Because he was hush hush too because he's a lawyer. So he was looking for one. So a friend of mine introduced us. And it just went from there. A blind day with a bit of blindfolding. A lot of blindfolding. Oh, good. On his part at least. Wow. So like were you a bully in like grade school and high school and stuff since you're like this dominant? No, actually I was very, to myself. I was one of those kids. A lot of weird thoughts. I was one of those kids in like junior high, high school and stuff like that that I didn't want to be around everybody else. Everyone was just, you got two, you know, the jocks and the cheerleaders which think their shit don't stink. And the jocks think that they can't. They can't get everybody. And then you've got. Not anymore. And then you've got your, you know, your nerd crowd which I absolutely love because I am a major, you know, nerd and geek myself. Number one Star Wars geek all the way. What? But, and then you've got your, you know, your goth kids. And so like I, if I were to fit in anywhere it would probably be between the nerds and the goth kids. I'm looking for Star Wars tattoos. Yeah, that's my thought. You're not looking hard enough. No, no, no. I'm looking all the way. I keep being mesmerized with your breasts and what's going on there. And it's like a horse in a tree. There's one particular tattoo just right in there. Yeah. Right in the middle there. I'm not looking. No. I'm looking. I'm looking. Before you guys got here, I actually tried to get her to take her top off. She wouldn't do it. Yeah. Prude face. Prude hila. Well, you haven't always been this prudish. Now you. I told her. I go, we're going to be on air. And they're going, you know, they're going to be filming it. And she's like. But here's the deal. But they ain't paying me. I go, take your top off. They ain't paying me. I ain't taking no top off. Okay. Hello. Anyway, so next time. I got you some smart water. That wasn't in the contract. No. It was not in the contract. You know, let me tell you something. Even when I did Savage Streets, right? They asked me to do nudity. Right. And I said, no, go. Because as you know, Linda Blair was nude in the film. I know. And yeah, you know. I know. But I said, no. Stella, she don't do the it. Right? Right. So Savage Streets. That's a great segue. Savage Streets. This is why you were in. This is part of the reason. You were in a cult movie, Savage Streets, with an all-star cast. Linda Blair was the star. And little Linnea Quigley. Linnea Quigley, who became a horror queen. And who else was in that movie? There was a lot of. Van Ocher. Johnny Van Ocher. What's his name? Robert Dreyer. Right. Louisa LeShinn. Marsha. Marsha. Marsha. Marsha. I can't think of her name. Right. Right. John Vernon from Animal House was in the movie. That's right. And I cheated. I looked on IMDb. It's cool. But it's a cult movie. And I didn't know what a cult classic it was. But they had a whole panel of all you guys at Monster Blues. And Linda Blair was there. Although she was separate from you guys. She had her own little thing. Yes. And she looked great. Yes. She does look great. And she's really into animals and the whole bit. And funny enough, I just realized or found out a couple of years ago because people, the fans started finding me on Facebook. And I was kind of shocked that the movie had become a cult film. And I'm like. Why are these people trying to get in touch with me after all this time for that old movie? Was that your character voice? No. But you know, I'm a comic. So I like to make it up. Right. Right. I was just trying to figure it out. I've always got voices. Right. Because you played Stella. I played Stella. And I was just this really cute, fun chick. You know what I mean? Right. And oh, but let me tell y'all some dirt, Linda. I hope you're listening. Uh-oh. Vanity. I hope you're listening too. Even the edit. Look at the producer. She sat up straight. She like. Oh. She kind of sat. Vanity. Well, she sat up straight because look who's here. Josie Cat. Josie Cat. It's Josie Cat. See? She's right here. Right next to me. There she is. Although you got your Perrier right there. It's a. Thank you. Thank you. So here's the dirt. She's talking about the movie Savage Streets. Good dirt. Some really good dirt. Okay. Perfect timing. Linda Blair. Not only was I a kid, but I had never done a major feature before. And I was also married. How old were you? I was like 19 years old. Right? You were married at 19? Yeah. To a white man? I got married at 19 too. Yeah. That explains a lot. Don't be talking about my ex as a white man. Don't be talking about him as a white man. He was a man. Okay? And a hell of a man. He was all man. He was all man. Okay? He's from Detroit. No. So here's the thing. How much older was he than you before you get into the dirt? One year older than me. Okay. So that's not bad. No. No. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. Right. But in any event, Linda Blair had a. A trailer. We all had trailers. And one day I walked past the trailer. And I saw her in vanity kind of bent over. And I'm like, oh. Vanity? Like princess? Yeah. Like erotic city prince vanity? Okay. Yeah. Beautiful vanity. And I'm like, oh. I wonder what those girls are doing. I wonder if they're playing. That could be a hot situation. Right? Are they playing? Is there more to the story? And so they turn around and they see me walk by. They go, oh, oh. I figured out where that was going. Right. Right. Do you want to come in? I said. See you. At 19, I would have been there right with them. I was a bad 19-year-old punk rocker with a shaved head. And I was. Please. You wouldn't have been there now. Come on. I don't know. You got a leopard print bra. Well, this is when Linda was dating. Rick James. Rick James. So that's why I was trying to. Oh, why? I was expecting Rick James to come out of the trailer, too. She had the good stuff. Yes. No. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. She was dating. And Vanity was seeing the guy from, you know, the Pop and Lock guy, the Boogaloo guy. I can't think of his name. Shabadoo? Is that the guy? The one that started the whole. From Breaking 2, Electric Boogaloo? Yeah. The one that started the whole Pop and Lock. I can't believe you know that. I love Breaking 2, Electric Boogaloo. Come on. Yeah. I don't even think that's right. Let me see. Let's go to Vanity, who's dating who. But go ahead. Keep with the story. Well, and so it just was all very shocking to me because it was Hollywood and I'd read about Hollywood, but I'd never really participated in the debauchery. Where'd you come from? Detroit. Oh, from Detroit. Small town girl. Yes. And just pretty much. Have you been back there since? To Detroit? Yeah. Girl, have I been back? Oh, and I wish I had so much money to buy it all. I know, but my friend's been house shopping and some of the places like the ceilings are caving in. But the house is $2. And all the fixtures are caving in. The fixtures are like, well, yeah, like 15 grand. Right. They're these old homes and it's amazing the prices. Yeah. I mean, so like old historical places. Yeah, because the house I grew up in is an historical home with a plaque and the whole bit. I guess a lot of artists are moving into some of the areas and they're doing, you know, sustainable living and they're just trading and bartering, which I think is kind of cool. And no, and no put down on Doomy, Doomy, Doomy, the vegetarian place. But I'm all about White Castle. I'm all about White Castle. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. Food's gonna be there. White Castle. White Castle. That's what I like. Oh, so I'm looking at, I'm looking at who's dated who with Vanity. They call them sliders. And apparently I think you're, it's either James DeBarge or Mickey Free that you're thinking of because. Whichever one. Yeah. Because he was into the whole pop lock thing. He started the whole pop lock thing. Because she dated Anna Van, Billy Idol, Rick James. She dated Rick James too. Prince, Mickey Free, James DeBarge, John Stamos, Mickey Six, Anthony Smith. So they have something to talk about. Yeah. Let's give them something to talk about. Right, right. Oh, you have a good voice. Do you sing too? Just Broadway. I can sell a song. Oh, just Broadway. Just Broadway. Yeah, I can sell a song. I can sing. So what's your favorite Broadway song? Um, I don't really have one. Really? No. Can you sing Annie? Um, the sun will come out tomorrow. Who can't sing Annie? Oh, come on. I can't. I can sing it from rock style. You know, like I did a show called, um, I forgot this tour. I did. I did. And one of the songs we sang was, passing through, passing through. You know, like one of those old, like, off-Broadway things or whatever. I don't even remember half that stuff I did. I've done so much. What can I say? You know? So Josie, your band is back, right? Carrera, the show's all back on? Yeah, everything's back on. Okay, so February, if you want to hear somebody sing, February 13th at Loaded. Yes, and we're going to probably do a benefit for Jenna. Sasha, she goes by Sasha Knox. She's an adult film star. She was at Hedrick working this, it's kind of an adult-themed horror, you know, haunted house that's very intense. Was it Hedrick or Hedrick? I don't know. You know me with her. I always get, like, this one was, you know. She was working at a haunted house. It's one of the haunted houses. Anyway, she fell off a ledge or something, and her knee won't stop oozing. It's been like two months. And it's still swollen. It's like, oh, no. It's terrible. So she needs a benefit. So probably, yeah. So Josie has been in a few movies, including, I was trying to pull the clip of Lloyd Kaufman praising you, but you were in Tales from the Crapper, which you've mentioned about a hundred times on the show. Yes. How did you meet Lloyd Kaufman? Because he thinks the world of you. Apparently, you guys have done a lot together. We have. Go ahead. You're on, you know, How to Make a Movie. Like one of his things. Part one and two. I went with him to different production studios, and I basically interviewed, you know, the makeup artists and everyone to the special effects people. And we just basically went through how to make your own movie. It's called How to Make Your Own Damn Movie. He did two parts because he's, like, kind of the king of doing, like, guerrilla-style films. Guerrilla, like Toxic Avenger, Sergeant Kabuki Man. And I learned a lot from him through the years. We've been friends for 25 years. Which was good. Which was good. I was a traumat. Which goes to my original question. How did you meet Lloyd Kaufman? Geez, I don't even remember. I can't remember if it was conventions first or doing the, or working with him. I don't know. I did a lot of appearances with him. So I don't know which came first, the chicken or the egg. Right. If it was the films or the, you know. But it is true that you are the first. Do you want me to open this for you? No, I'm okay. Okay. You were the first black actress ever in Monsterpalooza? That can't be right. What was it, Van Gloria? Well, I'm, well, it was Monsterpalooza. Right. But also, I'm one of just a few black actresses who have done horror films. Oh. Because Savage Streets is also in the horror genre as well as Escape from L. A. Because I was the blonde hooker in Escape from L. A. Which is also a cult film. Did you have the massive afro? No, no, no. I wore a blonde wig. No, she had a blonde wig. Yeah, I started the whole blonde wig trend. Right. That was before RuPaul, before Beyonce. Before Nicki Minaj. Yeah. It was before any of them. And the reason I didn't get killed in the film is because Kurt Russell and I had a little love thing going on. Did you really? We sure did. Yes. We had a lot of chemistry. Was Golden all about this? Yeah, for sure. Really? But it was nothing. Really, Kurt and Golden, you like that? No, no, no, no, no. Our characters had a lot of chemistry. Right. So that's why I didn't get killed. Because I think that had the third come back, you know, that I would have come back as well and that we would have had a love relationship. Because you basically intimated that you had sex with Kurt Russell? No, I did not. No way. Because he loves his little wife and he would never, ever do anything against her. Was she with him a lot of the time? No. When I was there? She wasn't on set? No, no. But there was a little detraction between the two. But only on film. Okay. Only on film. Only on film. Really? He's very professional and so am I. No, no. I'm not saying he's not professional, but he's a good looking guy. Right. Well, I'm a good looking girl. I noticed that. And I was married. And the thing about it is I'm all for monogamy. And if you cheat on me, you got to step play ya. Right. I'm not having it. And I appreciate Kurt Russell's devotion. Step player. I like that. I like his, you know, devotion to his woman. She's good. So how was it like working with John Carpenter? She's getting serious. Oh my God. It was really good working with Carpenter because I didn't realize the enormity of who he was and all that he had done. And the horror genre. He's a legend. Oh man. He is a legend. But he was just so nice. He was just so nice to me. Oh my God. He was so nice to me. The cold old John Carpenter. Yeah. And I was like, God, I can't believe this guy is being so nice to me. Because just, let me just make one other point. I did Outbreak, right? Yeah. I was going to ask that. Okay. Frankenheimer directed that. Yeah. And on set he goes, where's that black woman? Oh, you're the black woman. Chop chop. I was like, is he going to send me to the gas chamber? I just came from Berlin. I saw Hitler's bunkers and it is a car lot now. You told me about that. And a condominium. They didn't want to, they flooded it and they closed it all down because they didn't want neo-Nazis to come and, you know, worship the ground. And pay homage. Yeah. So they decided to make it anonymous. Right. Speaking of that. It is a fucking lot. Speaking of that, Talisa. That's crazy. That's crazy. Has anybody had you dress up in a? The Nazi uniform? Not yet. Not yet? Okay. It'll happen after this show. I think we might have some requests. But you are, you are one of the, I shouldn't say the largest because that's a bad pun, but you are one of the most popular BBW porn stars I would say around. Well, thank you. I started off in 2009 and I worked my butt off. Literally. Only one time. Did you actually lose weight? Were you starting to lose weight from all the action? No. No? No? No. So what do you say? Only one time? You only did one movie or? No. One anal. That's what I meant. Oh. That's really working. That ass was earning it. That was actually my very first time ever doing anal too. And that was my very last time. Oh. You've only had anal sex one time. One time and it was on film. And I've never had anal sex. And I don't think I'm going to have it. It was for the anal sex. But no. I'm doing it to people. It's about pain. You completely missed that. Say that one more time. I love doing it to people. I love doing it to men. I love doing it to women. I love it. But just don't do it to me. Oh yeah. I heard that. I mean if it works for you, that's fine. What kind of instruments do you use when you're doing it to the man? Strap-ons. Oh man. You have strap-ons? A