Episode

I'm Yoda, I'm a soldier, a soldier, a soldier, a soldier, a soldier, a soldier, a soldier, a mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother mother Ed Greer. What is up? And the massively cool Matt Blackwood. How's it going? Oh, also me. I'm Ron Swallow. Today. Oh, we got Ron Swallow again. Shit. Oh, cute. Oh, not that guy. Fucking heat back. That guy's such a dick. Does he follow you guys into the restroom too? Damn it. Yeah. Occasionally. What's wrong with that? He did. I can't see. He didn't say anything. He just wants to talk about fantasy books. He literally scared me in the bathroom. Like when we went to karaoke. Oh yeah, that was good times. That was good times. That's Ron's MO. Follow women into bathrooms. That's right. That's how I get some. That's how you get all the ladies. Because they're like, why are you in here? And I'm like, I think you know. And then they're like, fuck yeah, I know. Because you look like a short lesbian. That's why you're in here. Do I look like a short lesbian? Aww. Is that coming from the girl who's 4'11"? I'm 5 feet. Give me the extra inch. I deserve it. Okay. I'm not completely hobbit. Give me the extra inch. I don't have it. Damn it. I just really wish I had a penis at that moment. Don't we all? Oh, wait a minute. No, I don't. I don't really do. Three people in this room do have penises. But I don't. Don't make assumptions. I've got penis envy. People we just found out, Matt's a eunuch. Oh no. Oh yeah. Maybe he just has a detachable penis and it's like. Detachable penis. I had to leave it with my girlfriend when I'm away. Yeah. See, there you go. But she treats it nice. I assume. She's like beating it. Damn it, my dick's bruised. She's just putting it to work cleaning the chimneys like Cinderella. You just come back. Is everything okay? Yes. Well, at least then it would be black. Used to clean the chimney. Then it would match Ed. What she's saying is that you're black. Yeah. And so is my penis. Oh, look it. The two black people are sitting next to each other. It's like one and a half black people up in here. What? I saw that when I saw your hair and that your last name was Washington. I was like. You didn't see it when I turned around? You're like, oh, black girl. By racial patrol. I'm very light-skinned. So since we got you guys on here, let's talk a little bit about awkward conversations. First thing, these ladies, their podcast is great. If you haven't listened, you should listen to it. Secondly, I like that you guys all have nicknames and we're going to have the other two guys on probably in three weeks, maybe two weeks. Awesome. And we're looking forward to that. But we have you guys. So let's hear your nicknames first off. I want to hear your nicknames and why you have those nicknames. My nickname is Sassy Pants because. That's self-explanatory. It is self-explanatory, but it's more like the fact that I'm not necessarily that sassy. I'm just really bitchy. But bitchy pants didn't sound so cool. Sassy pants. Sounded better. I like bitchy pants. How about cunty girl? Not so great. So sassy pants it was. Cunty knickers might work though. Cunty knickers. Sassy pants. I like the way it sounded when I said it. Relax. Fair enough. Fair enough. Frumpkin. Sassy pants. That's right. And then we got Anastasia. What's your nickname? Psycho Fembot because I'm kind of like a traditional girl. I like to like make sandwiches for my man. And do all kinds of like very step for wife things. But I do have kind of interesting personality. So psycho Fembot. So like I used to be compared to like the gothic Martha Stewart. I would say is like my professor once described me as the gothic Martha Stewart. Were you also cold because of your, I mean, because you're a robot? Yeah, I am. I do have a robotic heart too. I'm very cold. No, I'm just kidding. I kill people. So like they were like, oh, you kill people. Psycho Fembot. So as the gothic Martha Stewart, do you like to make wreaths out of dead flowers? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. You guys should have nicknames. Yeah. Nicknames are cool to have. You know what? You know, I'll tell you what, by the end of this episode, you two confer on nicknames for the three of us. Yeah. Because I can't. And we'll be stuck with them. But do it based on who we are by the end of this episode, not based on what we look like right this second. Oh. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. I mean, we almost have one for Ed Greer. Challenge accepted. What's Ed Greer? The Hulk of conversation. I mean, this dude's like chilling out. He's like drawing. He's like, what? I do. I get drawn into stuff and I get really fucking angry and that's when it gets interesting. So talk about some- We're all angry dorks. We really are. Because I'm like, right now you guys are more subdued dorks. I know. Once we start talking about cartoons that some of that will be popping out of my giant angry mouth. Yeah. Yeah. We're angry dorks. We're not angry dudes. We're angry about stuff. Well, we could start saying things that maybe will anger you like Degrassi or Nicholas Sparks. I'd have to know about that stuff. These are things that may anger women. I feel like you're using the wrong kryptonite. Damn it. Okay. You're using that gold kryptonite that just makes us feel weird in our pants. I have one that will make Ron mad is that I don't like Superman. What? I don't like him. He's not special. He's an alien. He can... He's not... I don't like him. He's totally special. I do not like him. I'll tell you why he's special. But would you have sex with him? I have to say this to people all the time. Would I have sex with Superman? No. No. He's special. What? No. That's why. You know he has a fucking good dick. But you would have sex with a Hulk, so let's not talk about it. I would have sex with a Hulk and I stand by my statement that I would have sex with a Hulk and it would be awesome even if I would die. I'd kill Professor Hulk. You wouldn't die? It's retarded. Everybody seems to think that if I had sex with a Hulk, I would die because he would like get really angry and like expand and my body would explode or something. He'd probably relax and turn into Bruce Banner and then you'd just be banging Bruce Banner. See? This is an excellent point. No. The Hulk can't walk down the hallway without fucking out the walls. No. Just imagine what he would do to a human vagina. Excellent point. I say you could have sex with both Joe Fixit when the Hulk was gray and also with Professor Hulk when he had Banner's mind inside the Hulk body. Yeah. That's fair enough. That would be completely acceptable. Thank you. I think Professor Hulk's penis is probably about 52 inches long. He made it work. He was married during that time. I'm just saying, now I'm Clinton. He lived with Betty. He would destroy you. Just, duh, the sheer Hulkiness of him would destroy you. He would destroy me. That's a good point. I would die so happy. The two seconds of sexiness you get. By the way, you should like Superman because he's an awesome good guy. He chooses to be good every day. I get it. I understand it. He's like, woohoo, look at me. I'm awesome. I'm coming to you. I'm coming to you. I'm coming to you. I'm coming to you. I'm coming to you. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. I am Superman. bad guys to get money. You know what I mean? Also, Batman gets a big bump because, frankly, most DC characters suck dick. Yeah. I will admit that... In the Marvel universe, Batman would be a cheap Spider-Man one-off character. He'd be somebody... No, no. He'd be somebody... No, and the DC universe is fucking Oliver Queen. What are you talking about? What? And you're saying that... If Batman was in the Marvel universe, if he was introduced in the Marvel universe, he would be a piece of shit side character that nobody cared about. He's basically the exact same as Night Thrasher. Yeah. I mean, I'm on the Marvel side. I know. I'm not going to... I'm not going to... If I had Frank Fieri with me... Ed's exactly right. I feel like he's not a superhero. Everybody else in the DC universe makes Batman look awesome. He's not a superhero. The thing about the Batman universe is that the stories are better most of the time. They're more interesting. There's more human element at play. But I said... And they did kill Superman, so I'm sorry. I can't say that he's virtually immortal because they did try to kill him. But he came back to life, so whatever. They put over device ever. They created some douche out of thin air and then beat him up on a sidewalk like he's fucking Martha Wayne or something. It's stupid. Yeah. Also, he was never dead. The thing that... He was just a tweed. I'm saying he's like... Yeah. That's the thing. Batman is cool, but he's only cool in comparison. Really. I love Batman a lot, but I see that, you know, he would lose to most Marvel characters in a straight up. Yeah. We discussed it on our show. We discussed it a lot. I know. Yeah, yeah. The older I get, the less I like Batman. The less I'm impressed by Batman. Well, aren't you just Mr. Cynical? It sounds... Again, in defense of Batman, in defense of Batman, though, I think you have to point out that he would lose if it was out of nowhere. Like, he figured he has to fucking fight Wolverine out of nowhere type of thing. Yes. He would lose his fucking shit in a second. In a millisecond, Wolverine would just claw his brains out and it would be done. But if there was a plan ahead of time and he had information about Wolverine, he might be able to hold his own for a little bit. Little bit. A little bit. We already had this discussion. Like, if you were in a fight with Iron Man, like, he wouldn't win against Iron Man because... No. Like, and Tony Stark's the same thing. He's just a billionaire with, like, really... with a really awesome... He invented that shit. Yeah. Tony Stark at least invented the Iron Man armor. Bruce Wayne invented But Wayne Industries did. What? Wayne Industries invented the armor. He invented bat wings. Who made the batarangs? Who made the fucking Batmobile? A bunch of Chinese dudes. What the fuck are you talking about? He made those batarangs. He didn't make a billion batarangs himself. In the movies, they have him subcontracted like he's fucking NAFTA. Are you telling me that in the comics right now, the canon is that motherfucker carved out all those fucking batarangs himself. A billionaire did some manual labor and carved himself some fucking batarangs. That is a canon. Into the shape of the Batmobile. Into the shape of fucking bats. When real ninjas don't bother with the fucking the star shape. They use tiny little dirks that look like pencils. They're just a straight thing because they can throw it straight and kill a motherfucker. Because you know all the real ninjas of the world. He's obviously a ninja. Also, on top of that, also, let's point out that he doesn't want people to know he's Batman. So he can't have a fucking, he can't have like a backlog of information where like, oh, this is weird. This Chinese factory is making a bunch of shit. A bunch of batarangs. Batarangs. I think he'd get caught. So I think I could catch him. He not only has the superpower of money, he also has a goddamn time machine that allows him to do all that shit. Yeah. Not to mention the fact that he runs a business during the day and fights crime all night. He doesn't run the business. to sew his fucking bat suit. Lucius Fox runs the business. The business, yeah. He doesn't run the business. He has a magical negro handle all his money. I feel like if they were 12 year olds, Matt would look at him and just go, fuck these guys. Fuck, he done. He does. Bruce Wayne would have gotten into the third. He would have gotten through three batarangs and then gone, you know what? That's fucking complicated. These are going back to just straight across. Here's the thing about Marvel. Going back to Marvel versus DC though. This is the fucking point and I've made this point before. Here's the fucking deal. DC characters suck ass because all of their villains are pussies. Flash can beat the fuck out of Captain Cold in two seconds. Green Lantern can tear up Sinestro. In four seconds. Fucking Superman has a bald human villain that he has to fight every minute for no reason. He can just rip his fucking arms off. Batman fights a fucking clown. Batman has trouble fighting a fucking clown. I would have trouble fighting a fucking clown. Well, here's this. Batman also apparently can't keep the criminals off the street. Right. Because he won't kill them. He even sings Batman live. They're like, bye bye villains. I guess we'll get them later. Look at the Marvel villains. Scorpion is, Scorpion is stronger than Spider-Man. So is Batman. So is Rhino. So is the Rhino. Look at Iron Man. He fights bigger, giant armored dudes all the time. Fights the Mandarin who's got 10 superpowers basically. Yeah. Even the Hulk has the Abomination who's technically stronger than him until he gets enraged and becomes super duper. Whatever. The point is, Marvel characters are all based on like their villains are stronger than them. And there's all ways to beat them too. I mean like, even the Hulk who is the most powerful and you usually unleash him, there's ways to calm him down or, if you can make him stop breathing, he passes out and then turns back into Bruce Banner. So I mean like, there's ways to stop it. That's why it's awesome to see the Hulk fight like the UFOs where you're like, he's got to fight a whole team all by himself. That's fun. Yeah. That is fun. I want to see that. I have an equal opportunity. Plus, I love watching Dark Wolverine beat up Wolverine. But you like anything Wolverine. Rolling around together. Anastasia. What are your feelings on X-23? Or Psycho Fembot. Psycho Fembot. What are your feelings on X-23? Speaking of cartoons, Wolverine and the X-Men, right? Yeah. No, she was introduced in X-Men Evolution rather. Right. Yeah. I mean, I really just, I'm really more into like Old Man Logan and Dark Wolverine and like the older school Wolverine. I mean, I read some of the new stuff but I really, the newer stuff that I've read has been Dark Wolverine and like Logan. I haven't liked the new, new stuff. But if you go back to New X-Men, not the Grant Morrison thing, but it's by Christopher Kyle and, or Christopher Yost and Craig Kyle, the guys who made X-Men Evolution. Okay. It's called New X-Men and it's about the, it's about the young mutants right after like a bunch of the mutants lost their powers. Oh yeah. So these are like the only ones left. And they basically put them through the paces for like two years. It's like 24-ish, and you can get it in like four trades. And they basically like, they start with like 50 and by the end of it, there's only like seven left alive. Wow. They just die left and fucking right and it's fucking awesome. Yeah. And it's the thing that made me like X-23 because when somebody just said, hey, it's a clone of Wolverine but a girl, I was like, ah, sounds so stupid. Like the same thing as Bucky coming back as the Winter Soldier. You're like, oh God, that sounds so dumb. But then it was executed really well. Yeah, she kills a bunch of mutants. She kills motherfuckers. Yeah, she's really, really badass. How do you feel about Old Man Logan and Dark Wolverine and all that? I still haven't read Old Man Logan. I like Old Man Logan. I'm a Mark Miller supporter. Like I really like Wolverine, Enemy of the State. I think that's my favorite of his. Yeah, that's pretty good. But yeah, I mean, I like Colonel Logan too. I like Logan when he's being an old dick. Yeah. I like Logan when he's Clint Eastwood. And when he's killing him, a bunch of motherfuckers. Yeah. Well, I also like Wolverine when it's more like, I agree with you, old school Wolverine was cooler because old school Wolverine, when he got shot in the face, it was like, oh snap, I got shot in my fucking face. Give me a minute. Now you can burn all his flesh off. It really doesn't matter. He's putting his nose back on in two seconds. Now he regenerates like a Zarnian. He's like Dr. Who. Yeah, it's insane. He pops back into place like Wile E. Coyote. He's like, oh, that was awful. Okay, I'm good. He just walks with his accordion body for a while. It depends who writes him. It really just depends on the writer. I like how Bendis would have him as part of the Avengers that, you know, like he had the entire Avengers crew fighting Wrecker, just one guy, but he beats, you know, he hits Wolverine one time and he like flies a mile and so he's kind of out of the fight. It takes him a while to get back. Oh, by the way, Mandy says, new X-Men starts out as Academy X if anyone wants to find her. Yeah, it was like, it was a tamer like it was like a teen book, almost like a, you know, a Spider-Man loves Mary Jane type thing, like where it followed the young ones and then these two guys took it over and just made it super dark and killed all these characters that you were like, oh, who's Hunger X-Men? Hunger X-Men. They're doing that. It's like the TV show moves from ABC Family to Showtime. They're doing a Hunger X, basically. Yeah, basically. They're doing a Hunger X. That sounds awesome. It's great. I also, like I said, one last point, when in the Wolverine miniseries, Million Jones, a million years ago drawn by Frank Miller and written by Chris Claremont, when Shingen Harada stabs his ass through his body with a sword, it took him months to get better. To get better. He didn't die, but it took him months. And the new ones, like I said, he gets all this flesh burnt off, there's an adamantium skeleton walking around like fucking Terminator. That was the worst. That was the worst. Please, stop doing that shit, guys. I know that somebody over at Marvel is listening to us right now. The only time I want to see an adamantium skeleton is in that Hulk Future Imperfect story, where in the future, like, that's one of the things in the museum is that there's Wolverine's adamantium skeleton, there's Captain America's shield, there's Thor's hammer. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise. Otherwise, stop. What are you drawing over there, Ed? I'm sorry, I was like listening to the conversation. Bizarro. I started drawing Superman. Now, Bizarro is special. Bizarro's cool. I don't, I mean, I have a trade paperback of a small Bizarro run that was pretty fun. Yeah. Where Superman ends up on Bizarro World. I always liked Bizarro in the Superman cartoons. Yeah, yeah. Because he was just like Lenny from my, and he's like, Bizarro, um. And I was like, oh, poor Bizarro. Me accident smash friend. Oh, come out and play with me. I read this thing called Trinity. It shows how Batman and Wonder Woman and Superman got together as a little team one time. It's a classic. Ray Chalgool, Ray Chalgool actually got Bizarro to be his henchman and Bizarro couldn't say Ray Chalgool so he said racer cool. Racer cool. Nice. Those classic moments. That's awesome. Well, okay, well, we moved into cartoons it seems like. Cartoons. It was just, I was like listening to the conversation and I was like fascinated by what like Ed was drawing and I was like, what is he doing over there? That is what Ed does. He draws. He pays attention though. Don't worry. He can multitask. Do you guys want to jump back with the cartoons and, and go through like in a, a, a simulacrum of, of chronological order or do you want to just jump around like crazy? I'd say we jump around. Okay. Jump around. Jump around. Jump up, jump up, get down. Jump, jump, jump. Everybody jump, jump. When I found out they were white, it was the biggest shock to my system. Wait a minute, this is a tight rap song in the early 90s and there's a white person doing it? Yeah, they're white. Oh my God. They're not from America. They're from Ireland. Oh my God. Well, they're Irish, but I think they're from Boston like the rest of those douches. But they weren't the Irish guys? no. They pretended to be Irish. They weren't the Irish guys, no. Cypress Hill was not Irish, I don't think so. But cartoons, what? Somebody, somebody out there looked that up and commented for us. I swear to God, one of the guys, at least one of the guys in Cypress Hill was from Ireland. Cypress Hill? No, no. House of Pain. Okay, never mind. My mistake. My mistake. That's what I was thinking. No, the guy that was in House of Pain wasn't he also the same guy that did like Whitey Ford sings the blues? Yeah, yeah. He's nice. Yeah, what's his name? Shit. That's gotta be different. Everlast? Not be real, Everlast. Yeah. Everlast, yep. You know what? I'm just completely confused. He just smoked a bunch of cigarettes and started a whole new career. Like, yeah, now it's just like this. Yeah, Everlast is Irish. Like Irish, Irish? They have a song, House of Pain has a song called Irish Pride. Yeah. But like Irish, Irish or like That was the song I knew that made me think that they were Irish. They're Irish like I'm fucking African. Get out of here. What it says, American hip hop group who released three other albums bashing themselves as rowdy Irish American hooligans although lethal is not. Now that that's clear. Irish poser. Irish poser. The damn posers. We discussed this on our podcast, our favorite like old school cartoons, but we didn't get to go very much into it. What were your favorite old school cartoons? Yeah, let's do it. I think we did, what was our like 90 cartoons? 90 cartoons. 90s? Okay. Well, I think we did like 87. Remember these girls are like 20. I'm like 20. I'm gonna be turning 20. No. I was thinking we were gonna talk about the Flintstones. No, I think we did. I think we did like our favorite like nostalgic like favorite cartoons. You guys do your 90s cartoons when you were like 11 and 12 and we'll do our I watch, I watch, here's the thing about me. I watch fucking everything. I know you do. I'm just picking on you because you're long. I watch everything. I watch everything. I grew up in a, I fucking grew up in comic book stores. My dad was in the animation business. She didn't have a house. My dad was in the animation business, like sold animation for a while. So I, My dad was in the douche bag business. I have a fountain of knowledge about useless shit, people. I've got a question. I've got a Mylar bag with a backing board. I've got a question. Do you still watch everything? Because I used to be like that and now I don't have time to watch everything anymore. I watch everything. Yeah. I don't watch as much. I don't watch anything. I don't watch anything. I don't watch anything. I don't watch movies. I watch movies now. I miss that. I miss, you know, watching every TV show and everything that I watch. These guys aren't, now I'm a comedian. They're like the shittiest, shittiest TV shows I watch. They're not comedians. And so they do their podcasts and their jobs and actually have social time. Well, I mean, I'm UCB, like I'm improv comedian, but yeah, I'm not like stand up. Don't ever say that again in front of us. I am a stand up. No, I go to, no, you aren't a whore. I'm just kidding. How did you know? Let me just. By saying, by saying you do improv, you've already admitted that you are too lazy to put in work into things. You'd rather, you'd rather stand, you'd rather stand on that stage. You'd rather step onto that stage with nothing. Improv is fucking hard, dude. With no preparation whatsoever. I also do sketch comedy. I trust some other douchebags. I don't trust anybody. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Because I understand you guys put in a lot of work. Everybody out there, be a fan. Shut the fuck up, Matthew. Shut the fuck up and let me speak. Hey, now we got another angry douche. Let's hear your opinion about improv, which I'll disagree with. putting a lot of work into your material, into your set, and you guys hone it and craft it. But there is a certain amount of skill that goes into with getting something and just taking two seconds, a second maybe, to think of it and build a whole fucking set around it. Yeah, it's good. Could you do that? It's impressive when someone's good at it. I don't fucking think so. But do you know how many people are good at it? Two of them. There's two people who are good at improv and the rest of them all suck. Thank you so much. You're welcome, Anastasia. Yeah, you know what's better than improv? A play that somebody wrote. Or a sketch that somebody wrote. I also write. I'm also a sketch fan. I love sketches. There's a certain amount of skill that goes into it. Improv is great for this. Improv is great for the people doing improv. It's great for writing. It's great for learning to be funny. It's great for learning to be a presence on stage. It's great for acting. It's great for you. But if you ask me to come pay to watch you do improv at fucking UCB, it's basically like you saying, hey man, you want to come down to 24 Fitness and watch me work out for a little bit? Improv is a huge fucking industry. We're packed houses. There are professional comedians that do this show once a month called Set List where all they're given is shit. Yeah, they are comics. They are stand-up comics. That's hard to fucking do. But I'll tell you. I'll tell you. When you watch that show, that's way different than improv. When you watch that show, it's way different than improv. When you watch that show, stand-up. When you watch that show, the comedians that go on that, the comedians, the stand-up comedians, they sometimes, a lot of times, cannot do a set list on improv. They struggle. These really amazing stand-up comedians. Of course we do because that's how we write jokes. We should respect each other as different artists. I'd respect improv a lot more if every time I went and watched it, it didn't suck dick. Well, honestly, that's my problem with it. You're watching a lot of fucking improv, my friend. I've been to UCB. Seriously. I've been to Groundlings. I've been all over the place to watch improv. See, I would never go to a stand-up comedian and go, you're doing nothing. That's so horrible. Your job is useless. Get a fucking office job. That's because I spend hours and hours and hours and hours every single day writing and working on stand-up. You do realize you just insulted one of your guests. I'm just going to point that out and move the fuck on. No, no. I've seen her do improv. She could be fantastic at it. I don't know. But you did insult the fact that improv even exists. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. This is totally fucking out of hand. I need Ed to calm this down. Number two, when I am the voice of reason, the situation is officially fucked. Yeah, but that was fun. Jesus Christ. Okay, number one, stand-up, stand-up, stand-up, stand-up is a singular art form for one person doing their thing and expressing their personal views about shit. If people show up to see improv and they watch the average stand-up, they probably wouldn't like all these fucking retarded jokes about fucking relationships and how the guy went to the store and why his gas so high and all this shit. Maybe they want to hear fucking Anastasia talk about fucking the Hulk and then it turns into Yogi, now she's Yogi Bear fucking the Hulk and now there's a sun-kissed can in her hair. Whatever the fuck weird improv suggestions. Maybe those people like that shit. That's the reason why we're vampires and werewolves in this business, okay? There's people who want to see stand-up which is regimented stuff that's supposed to be from a person's experience and then there's people who might like to see people play and explore. Personally, the way that I do stand-up is the perfect meld of both because I can't even tell my jokes the same way at the same time because I'm communicating the whole time. So maybe everybody can learn from everybody. I think that's exactly it. You should respect the other artists that are out there. I respect it and I can tell you why I respect it. I suck at it. I went and took a Groundlings class. First off, let me tell you this. The first thing this guy says, there's a bunch of people in there and there's like one of them's an actor and he's like, oh, you're an actor, great. It's going to be good for you for when you do cold auditions and then there was another dancer in there like, oh, you're going to really be able to add realistic movement into your dance. It's going to be great for you and then he was like, oh, what do you do? And I'm like, oh, I'm a stand-up. He's like, yeah, we don't do jokes here. The first thing that guy said to me. Well, he's a douche and just like when you have a bad teacher, it fucks you up but that doesn't mean that the whole world is bad. But I was bad at it. Well, maybe you weren't bad at it. Maybe you just had a horrible, horrible freaking teacher. I was bad at it because I didn't really like it. Because he sounds like a fucking horrible teacher. He was pretty shitty. Sounds like a kind of shitty person. I did do improv in college and my view of improv is exactly my view of acting which is that it's really easy to just do and it's really, really hard to do fucking awesome. There's only like 10 brilliant actors. You know what I mean? Like how many brilliant actors are there in the world? Like 100? Maybe? Hold on. You gotta stop. Hold on, guys. Hold on. You wanna go into singers too? Wait a minute. How hard is it to like to act at all? You know what I mean? When you see somebody go on there and they're like, would you like act coffee? And they can't even say like, oh, it's like that. Matt, your girlfriend has something to say to you. Stop being a dick. Audience, and by audience I mean me, is bored. Time to move on. Hug and make up. I think we're gonna listen to your girlfriend and we're gonna go to cartoons. No, we didn't. We do disagree. And this has nothing to do with dork shits. We're moving on. I love all of you guys. I'll make out with anybody who wants me to make out with them. So cartoons. Yeah. No. I started to say before. There was an improv cartoon and it sucked. No. Refight. Let me talk about how I hate, there's certain, I wanna talk about cartoons I hate first because I think that's always entertaining. I've gone, this is only on a gone back because when I was a kid, I remember watching Scooby-Doo and loving it. I remember watching He-Man. I remember watching the Smurfs and thinking it was fantastic. And let me tell you, go back and watch those shows. They suck dick. They look bad. I like Scooby-Doo still. No, Scooby-Doo is still fucking terrible. Although Scooby-Doo at least had a tongue-in-cheek sort of point of view about their thing because they knew they were doing the same thing over and over again. Like the sitcom canned laughter thing? Yeah, yeah. They kinda knew that they were cheesy but like He-Man totally took itself seriously and it was the worst cartoon on the planet. He-Man looked exactly the same as Prince Adam. Well, I mean, the only thing I really hated about He-Man as I used to be a big He-Man fan when I was a kid and I guess fur boots turned me on or something. But the point is he had the same grunt noise when he picked up a large rock as when he threw Castle Grayskull into another dimension. He has the same grunt noise as when he threw Castle Grayskull into another dimension. Rock. Rock. Grayskull. It was awful. And that makes a big difference too. I mean, voice acting can change an entire fucking... We know the kid whose dad was He-Man. Yes, we do. Oh, that's kind of cool. And I'm still like She-Ra is like my hero. I actually like She-Ra better than I like He-Man when I go back and watch it. You know what show I watched recently and I remember loving it as a kid was Gem. Oh, I never got to watch Gem. It's on Netflix Instant now. Gem? I was like, why did I ever like this show? It's terrible. This is horrible. It's horrible. See, I don't remember liking that, but my sisters will swear that I liked that show, but I only remember like watching She-Ra and He-Man and James Bond Jr. James Bond Jr.? I remember time of shows you go back on and you go, I have to look that up. Did you guys watch Transformers? I did. I watched Transformers and then, you know, when the Nickelodeon stuff happened, I like watched Doug and Rock is Modern Life and all that stuff. All right. You like Transformers, right? No. No. No. I could never get into it. I don't have anything against it. I just, I never watched it. Anytime it was like, yeah, they're big robots. So, I mean, who gives a shit if they die? Yeah. Ed Greer? I mean, I liked Transformers. I'm not going to do my Transformers bit, but I definitely liked Transformers, but I liked them after the movie when I saw Optimus Prime just roll up that hill and transform midair and start capping Decepticons in the face. That gives me chills to this day. You got the touch. You know what I mean? That's my shit. I didn't see the last one. Nobody saw the last one. I don't know. The last one was the, the last one was the best Transformers movie besides maybe 40 minutes of the first one. 40 minutes of the first one were actually funny. But I do remember choking up when we thought Optimus was dead. I was like. In the cartoon? No, like in the movie. Oh, yeah. But, you know, I cry at everything, so. The last one, that's the one where like they change history and make like the Decepticons land on the moon or whatever. I think that's why I didn't see it because I kept seeing that like trailer and I was like, this is really annoying me for some reason. Michael Bay changed history on us. And it doesn't like, I don't know why it bugged me so much, but every time I saw the trailer I was like, this is just too much. It's just too stupid. Well, 80s toys are responsible for the space race. Obviously. Obviously. You know how that happens. Okay, anime. Let's hear some of your anime. I don't watch anime. You don't? No. How about you, Anastasia? I watched Sailor Moon as a kid. I used to draw manga. But that was the only like anime I did. Which manga did you draw? Your own? Yeah. Well, it's kind of cool. But I never watched anything. I just kind of liked the art books and like learning from the art books and stuff. I don't know why I got it. Because I'm a Dragon Ball Z fan. I watched Dragon Ball Z until I died. I tried to watch Dragon Ball Z. I can't watch that one. I did the Big Brothers program when I was in high school and my little brother was like 10 years old or something like that and he was like, oh yeah, my favorite show is Dragon Ball Z. I was like, oh, okay. I'll go ahead and watch that. That sounds like something I used to watch. I used to watch it and it starts out, the guy's like, these two guys are just standing like, you know, 60 feet apart from each other. You know, I'm going to beat your ass. I am going to beat your ass. You know, and they just keep trading, you know, trash talking back and forth. I'm like, oh yeah, this is going to be tight. And by the end of the episode, they had not fought. By the end of the second day, they had not fought. By the end of the third day. There's a new version of Dragon Ball Z out that I can't remember. Dragon Ball Z... Abridged? Yeah, it's basically abridged. They're basically, they're basically abridged it, cut out a lot of things. There's a reason behind that. That guy was hired to do a certain amount of episodes and he had to stretch. And he really, and that's a lot of the powering up. Like that's, you know, some of the things where he'd power up for like four episodes. I make fun of this, by the way, obviously, because it's one of the weaker parts of Dragon Ball Z. But, but, but, so he had to stretch that out when all he really wanted to do was like, here's some bad guys, some good guys and the good guys protecting the earth from the bad guys. Now, let's fight. And then they were like, yeah, we need more episodes. And he was like, shit. Okay, well, I guess I'm just gonna have to make him so powerful that he has to power up for an hour. Oh my goodness. Imagine what the recording sessions for that were like. All right, so I need you to go. It's like, okay, so for like three beats, he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, My favorite as a kid, Batman animated series. Yeah, Batman animated series is fucking perfect. Brilliant. I was thinking about this episode. I was thinking about the shows I watched as a kid. I remember I would come home from school and if I couldn't come home on time, I would make my mom tape it and my brother and I would sit down at three o'clock, watch Superman, then we would watch Batman and then we would sit there and dissect the episode to be like, okay, it's like if they did a crossover episode, what villain would do this and what villain would do that and we would like, dissect it and talk about it like it was like, you know. That's interesting because Superman came later. Like legit. Like when we were kids, we had Batman animated series and Superman series had not come out yet. yeah. So like you were seeing reruns of the Batman series but it seemed like they were at the same time because that Batman show is completely timeless because, because of the, the set design and stuff like that. Right. And the Batman show was what the motherfucking headliner show. The feature act was Superman. Sorry, Ron. And then the headliner was Batman. But the Batman animated series, I know there was one, like I'm talking about the 90s. Are you guys talking about the 90s one that came out? Like, yeah, yeah. Because I remember them coming out like, maybe they didn't. Maybe you're right. Like maybe they did come out after. But I remember like, what was it? The W. B. would do like, their cartoon hour. Yeah. And my brother and I would sit down like, yeah. It was a rerun of the old Batman episode. Yeah. And we would sit there and we would just like, watch them like, oh, nuts, man. They were so great. And then they, they did that World's Finest movie which was really, that was the beginning of the, the DC animated features, right? Yes. That, and those have been, I mean, have they missed once with those? I can't think of a time where I didn't like it. Even on the ones that you, on the characters you don't like, Superman, the Superman doomsday, the fight scene between Superman and doomsday makes the entire cartoon worth it. Even if you think the rest of it is bullshit, that fight scene is fucking incredible. The Superman Shazam one is great. Oh, bad. But it's, it's mostly awesome because you think you're going to watch this 90 minute cartoon and then it just stops after like 45 minutes. You're like, what the hell? And then you get like, two little post feature cartoons. You get a, like a 20 minute Spectre cartoon which is like an old Tales from the Crypt episode. Like it's really fucking dark and like people die. And then you get a, a Jonah Hex cartoon. And again, Jonah Hex just fucking kills people because that's why he has the guns. Yep. I watched this one and it kind of bummed me out because I think it was supposed to be made into a series but all they did was do like the one feature film and it was called Mosaic. And I was like, this needs to go somewhere but it never did because it never got picked up to be like a series. It was just a one-off. One-off movie. What's it called again? Mosaic. Stanley's Mosaic. Oh, Stanley. Oh, it's so good. It's, it's one of those things that like annoys you because you're like, this is, this is so great. This is a cartoon. And yeah, and then you watch it and a Paquin plays this girl who can, she figures out that she can, Mosaico? Have like, chameleon powers and so she can blend into backgrounds or she can like, morph into people and she, I forget what she fights. She fights some silly, silly villain like a lizard or something. I don't know. But, Characters that can blend into backgrounds are probably a lot cheaper to animate. I have a comment here to shoot bubblegum and kick ass. I think you, I think you accidentally bumped your, your sound, your sound effects. Do you like to shoot bubblegum and kick ass and you're all out of bubblegum? I think it's about the same level but the key that we're going to have to pursue is actually bigger but they're clear and they're there. They're very, It's so funny to hear all the sound effects at one time. All of them. The failure one. Stop your sorting you son of a bitch. What did you say wasn't called mosaic? No, it was just called mosaic. Okay, so here's a, here's a quick fun thing though. Marvel lately, now that they've got their hands on their own products, their movies are great. They're doing a really great job with the, with the Marvel Entertainment movies. Their cartoons, eh, their cartoons are not, and they've gotten better but like, okay, my girlfriend got me like the best, the best gift like two years ago. She found like two seasons of the X-Men animated series that I had always talked about. Oh, it was so big and important to me when I was like nine years old and, oh, that is not That is not That is not That is not That is not That theme song is the only part of the show that holds up my face. Well, and then they made X-Men Evolution which I don't ever understand. All the X-Men are bad because, well, first off, you should just not have Wolverine in it because you can't have Wolverine in a cartoon unless he is killing some fuckers, period. He can't be punching people or slashing at robots the entire fucking time. Okay, it's one thing to have Wolverine not kill people but the bad guys, every single gun in that goddamn show shot nets. Yep. It's like, boom, oh, a net flew out and it attached to the wall and you're like, dun dun, what's gonna happen next? I don't know, they're probably gonna net somebody. Who gives a shit? And Magneto is like, oh, screw you humans and he's like, you know, throws his arm out, the tank goes boom and then two guys just fall out. Well, and that's because of the exploding tank and they're like, oh, shit, and then they get up and run away. They always had that beat of them getting up and running away. That's always been in cartoons, like remember a G.I. Joe, they never shot each other. Do do do do do do do do do. Oh, until the movie. Yeah, what the fuck that? Until the movie when Duke gets shot and you're like, oh shit, didn't Duke get a snake in the chest or something? That's right, he got shot with a snake. The new G.I. Joe movie? There's a, there's an old anime that would have these cartoons. I don't know, but right now on, because I watch the Disney channel sometimes, right, like all the time, like all the time, but right now on like one of the Disney offshoots, they have the new version of the ultimate Spider-Man, which I totally love because it's so nose, it's ridiculous and like it makes fun of itself. It's so tongue in cheek and like this, I will sit there and just like laugh. I've heard good things about that. I understand they have current comic book writers writing that. It's so ridiculous. It's so great. Some other people. Yeah, that's what I've heard. Dan Slott, I think, writes for that as well. Well, that's one thing I don't like about these new cartoons though. I mean, and yes, I'm fucking old, so yeah, I'm going to say this, but like all of the heroes in the new shows are always super young versions of heroes. Like they got an Iron Man show where he's like 17 and he invented some armor and he's flying around. But he's still got that mustache. He's got like a pasted on. He invented a mustache. He needs it so he can buy liquor. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He's not, I mean, when you take some of these characters and you make them too young, it just takes everything out of it. Spider-Man should be young. Spider-Man at 45 is pretty fucking lame. Yeah. But Tony Stark fucks bitches and has nice cars. I gotta say, I think, I think they're just, I think they're just plain wrong about the assumption that kids want to read about kids. Like, that whole thing, I think they've been fucking that up since Bucky. Yes, when I was a kid, I only wanted to read about the grown-up comics. Every time I saw a teen sidekick, I was like, oh, that guy can go fuck himself. I didn't want to read about Robin or Bucky. I didn't care about them. Nobody cares about Robin. People who care about Robin freak me out. I like Dick Grayson. That's what I'm saying. I like Dick Grayson. Dick Grayson's cool. They figured it out. He got cool when he got the fuck away from Batman. When they let the fans vote and the fans voted to kill Robin, that should have been a big fucking red flag for them that, oh shit, they hate these teens. You're right. Well, I don't know. Frank is pretty obsessed with that. The guy, Frank is one of our co-hosts and he's obsessed with Robin. But I think it's from a gay perspective. I think it's like the whole pederast, like, let me teach you my ways. Let me teach you under my wing, young man. Nobody ever says anything about that. Did you just call your friend a pedophile? No, pederast. Oh, okay, cool. It's the act of taking a young, well, it's not exactly pedophilia. Like, that's why I like, there's exactly, it could lead to, but it's more about a crewmate. There's a great Venture Brothers episode that deals with that. Venture Brothers is fantastic. Who am I seeing? As long as we're talking about modern cartoons. I forget what he's called in the show, but he's supposed to be like a Batman-like character and Hank accidentally, no, Dean gets there. He's like Captain Sun or something like that. Yeah, and like Dean gets there and it's like, it's so, it's so great. It's like, well, let me take you under my wing. You know, if you have a nightmare, you can sleep in my bed. And I'm like, this is awesome. It's so great. Oh, it's Nathan Fillion? I believe that was Nathan Fillion who did that voice. Oh my goodness. That character and Sergeant Hatred are like the, I love that they have pedophiles on this show. They're like, hey, I like little kids. I'm like, yes, you do. Way to own it. Way to own it. I don't want you ever near my children. You don't want me near you because I would kill you if we were out. That's true. There's a lot of things we shouldn't discuss. No, as soon as shit goes down, I'm just shooting you in the face. I told you that. I'm either locking you up or I'm shooting you in the face. Can we take a sec and talk about any old cartoons that we liked? How old are we talking? I mean, like, yeah, from whenever. Cartoons that meant something to you from whenever. Thundercats, I actually, I've re-watched Thundercats and I still enjoy it. I watched it when I was a kid and I don't remember anything from it. Same as He-Man. I mean, I don't remember. Don't get me wrong. I may have watched it so young that I only understood that there were colors. No, I mean, Thundercats was very important to me. Thundercats, oh. Yeah, Thundercats taught me about Thundercats. Yeah, Thundercats taught me about race relations because they had an episode where Lion-O had to become the leader of the Thundercats and he had to beat each of the Thundercats in their own discipline. So he had to beat Tiger at stealth, beat Wile E. Cat and Wile E. Kid at being wily or whatever. He had to beat, blah, blah, blah, beat Chitara at running, which they manufactured some fucking way for her to get hella tired because, you know, cheetahs can only run really short amount of time so he was like marathoned up. Anyway, Lion-O is a quintessential white boy. So, Panthro's black. Everybody knows that, right? Oh, yeah. Panthro's black. What? So, not only was Panthro responsible for the infrastructure of the Thundercats, he created every fucking piece of machinery in that shitty base that they had. Anyway, and he's also the best fighter because he's a ninja and he had nunchucks and shit. So, he was having a fight with Lion-O. He was winning. A fucking rock slide came and hit Panthro on the shoulder and Lion-O said, hey, man, we should stop fighting and Panthro goes, no, we must continue at a fucking disadvantage. So, he's at a disadvantage and he's like, okay, broken shoulder, fights Lion-O, loses and it was the first time I found out that's how the white man wins. Rock slide. Because the black, yeah, fake ass boy has too much honor. Think about it, a rock slide of slavery, hit Panthro, fucked his shit up and then he insisted upon playing the white man's game after that. He insisted, no, no, no reparations, no back to Africa, let me try to play your game at a disadvantage and expect to fucking win. Oh, my God. And then I was like, oh, my God, this is the world. See, it's the same thing with the Cherokee. The Cherokee said, oh, we're going to play the white man's game. It didn't really do a hell of a lot for them. Nobody gives a shit. Except that they survived a lot longer than the Choctaw who said, no, we're going to just keep fighting to the end. Well, you can live on your... Me being part of those two tribes, I don't give a shit. No, you can live on your feet or die on your knees or whatever the fuck that is. Hey, Tim Babb made a good point. He's like, are you talking about cartoon yet? Why do Disney tunes always get the geek shaft? Okay, I like Gargoyles and I just bought Darkwing Duck on DVD. Darkwing Duck is a classic. I like Darkwing Duck. I love it. My brother and I, we would just sit down and watch these cartoons like back to back. We would sit and we would watch all the ones on WB and then we would switch over to like, I think it was Kick Out 9 at one time and we would watch all the Disney ones so we'd watch like DuckTales. I got to be honest. Darkwing Duck. DuckTales. Tailspin. Gummy Bear. Gargoyles. Besides Beauty and the Beast, I almost don't like any Disney cartoons. That's something I'm starting to realize. What is the movie Beauty and the Beast? I like the movie Beauty and the Beast. Are you talking about theatrical? You're talking about theatrical Disney movies. Theatrical Disney movies. I mean, I never watched. Sleeping Beauty back in the day was really fucking good too. No, they all look amazing. I'm not giving any, they all look incredible but every single movie from Disney is basically a chick needs to find a dude and she's like, I'm not giving any, I'm not giving any, I'm not giving any, and. That's every fairy tale, yo. Yeah. That broke. But they broke that recently. They broke it. They broke it with Brave. Oh, they did, yeah. And Beauty and the Beast was cool because it was about like getting, like you're like judging someone on their character and becoming a better person. And then also getting. But Brave was Pixar so Brave doesn't count. Yeah, Brave. But it started with a Disney quirk. Pixar is made by different people. It's made a completely different way. That's why you have a story about an old man whose wife died and that's the protagonist of, of your story. Right, but it's still, it's still Disney and it's under the Disney. It's not. It's not though. It's only funded by them. Disney owns everything from fucking Calcan to Trans Ams. You know what I mean? You can't give them credit for that. You know what I mean? They own every fucking, Viacom doesn't make the best anything. They just own everything. You know what I mean? So. They don't own so much anymore. But Pixar made it really good story with Brave and cause it, you know, she wasn't after a man. Yeah, she's just after being a badass. I was gonna go back to old cartoons we like. Yeah, sure. The ones that still hold up, I still find funny. Flintstones. Yes. No. I still laugh every single time. You like Rocky Curtis? You know which one I do not like and I've never understood? Jabberjaw. I never saw that. Why do I need to watch a giant shark that sounds like Curly from the Three Stooges run around telling mysteries? Oh, that. Okay, no, no. I never saw that. Jabberjaw sucked. But now I want to see it. I'm not familiar with that. Captain Caveman was kind of tight. I loved Captain Caveman. Captain Caveman. Captain Caveman had the same superpower as Mary Poppins. Except that instead of a purse, it was, you know, somewhere in his ass that he just pulled things from. Yeah, he had a utility club, too. It had all kinds of shit. His ass? Yeah, his club was like Inspector Gadget. I just have to throw this in. Oh, Inspector Gadget. That was a good question. Penny was the shit. Yeah, she was pretty badass. She was the original fitness hero. Oh, yeah, Inspector Gadget. I fucking love Inspector Gadget. Penny's like the best female character of all time. I always laughed at those, at that thing. I always had a good time with Inspector Gadget. Mandy said, Beauty and the Beast was Stockholm Syndrome. It is. When you think about it, it's like, oh, I'm just gonna keep you until you love me. And then she had the greatest point, and I forgot about this movie. Mulan is where it's at. Mulan is very good. I haven't seen it. She still wants me to see that. I like the Eber's new group. It's a good movie. She finally told me the one thing I needed to know, which was that Mulan kills people, and I'm like, okay, now I'm in. Yeah. Because I figured I was going to be watching a movie where they're having a huge battle with bows and arrows and swords, and I figured nobody was gonna die. And she's like, no, no, no, she kills people. I'm like, oh, I'm in. And then there's that whole scene where they just walk up and the whole town is just dead. We're just gonna watch anime to kill Bill? Yeah, let's do that. Exactly. Okay, so speak of girls kicking ass, Powerpuff Girls. Oh, I love the Powerpuff Girls. How fucking great was the Powerpuff Girls? That was one of the greatest cartoons I've ever watched. Dexter and the Powerpuff Girls still fucking hold up, too. I watched Dexter's Lab the other day. And I used to love Ren and Stimpy. Oh, so great. I loved Ren and Stimpy. I haven't seen it since I was a kid. You have to be in the mood for Ren and Stimpy. I now understand Ren and Stimpy. You're correct. Sometimes you'll watch Ren and Stimpy and never laugh harder. And sometimes you'll watch Ren and Stimpy and go, why? I can't. I started re-watching Rocco's Modern Life and I love it. I love it. Rocco's Modern Life had one of my favorite jokes that's ever been on TV. Is it the turtle one? No, no. It's a big musical number. And then Rocco, at the end of it, Rocco's like, when did you guys have time to rehearse all of that? No, one of my... And then it's like, oh, didn't you get the, like, didn't you get the lyric sheet in the mail? What are you talking about? Okay, let's talk about a guilty pleasure. I'm saying one of the best adult jokes in a cartoon is in Animaniacs where she says, fingerprints, and she goes, no. Animaniacs is just all around genius. I liked Animaniacs. I think I need to re-watch that one too. Good idea. Playing the flute in the marching band. Freakazoid, hysteria, Animaniacs, tiny tunes. Playing the grand piano in the marching band. Great. Great. What about Muppet Babies? I watched Muppet Babies when I was a kid. Like your dreams come true. Is it any good? Does anybody know anymore? Muppet Babies? I watched it a lot when I was a very small child, but I have no idea. No, no. It does not hold up. It didn't have all of the humor of the Muppets, right? It didn't have all of the sarcasm, right? Well, it did. Like, they would, like, open doors and, like, there'd be, like, space. Tim Babb was too much. Like, of, like, or, like, King Kong, you know? Tim Babb has a great point. And this is actually, I do remember loving this cartoon. Aladdin was where it's at. Robin Williams, buffoonery, and tons of references. I was already over Robin Williams by that point. or Aladdin the cartoon series? The cartoon series. Those are two different things. No, he's talking about the movie. The movie. The movie's great. The cartoon series. Ooh, let's talk about movies. You know what? The movie is all right. Every single Batman animated movie that has come out is goddamn incredible. I haven't watched the Dark Knight ones yet that have come out yet. It's so fucking brutal. I haven't watched those. If you've read the comic, you'll love it because it's exactly the same. I'm waiting for them to come out. The Gotham Knight cartoon is so fucking brutal. The Batman cartoon set, it's just like a series of vignettes. It's really good. I don't like the new Batman. People like Josh Olsen who wrote History of Violence, wrote one of them. And then the guy who did 100 Bullets, Brian Azzarello, did one of them. It's really, really good. I don't like the new Batman, Brave New World, the new cartoon. Oh, Brave and the Bold? Brave and the Bold. I hate the animation. I hate the story. I hate the acting. It's just, ugh. There's parts that I like. It makes me angry. Because I like when they bring in other superheroes. Well, dude, but that's the thing. Batman being such an iconic character and the thing is, the reason why Batman's so cool is so many different people contributed to him. But some of those people contributed to him during eras where they were doing a bunch of dumb shit. Yeah. And Brave and the Bold seems to be that era where let me walk around in the fucking daytime in my Batman suit with my yellow ass belt and start talking to people about shit. Let me sip coffee with cops and shit and fucking shoot the shit. Batman is a creature that comes out of the dark and you don't know whether it's a person or not. That's my Batman. There was one good thing. This Batman in the daytime shit sucks. There was one good thing that came out of that that I saw. He goes, he teams up with the Green Lantern and most people, they can't like even use the Green Lantern ring at all. Like people try to put on the Green Lantern ring and use it and fucking nothing happens. Batman got the ring for just like a minute and because somebody was like, hold on, hold on to this basically. He puts it on and he can do everything. He meets the criteria. Yay. That's awesome. But then he just takes it off and it's like, I don't need this shit and gives it back to the guy. Only a fucking rich person would do that. You were asking about guilty pleasures. You're just on the economics, aren't you? Oh, so I wanted to ask, does anybody have a cartoon that they watched that nobody's ever fucking heard of? Well, I guess James Bond Jr. would be mine. I remember they had the toys for James Bond Jr. I don't remember seeing the show, but I remember those toys were big. I used to wake up when my dad would wake up for work like 6.30, 7, just to watch James Bond Jr. That was the only reason to be up that early. I loved it. It was like, he was the nephew of James Bond and he was like a teenager. I mean, you probably won't like it because it's like, you know. Oh, the nephew of James Bond. The nephew of James Bond. He wasn't one of 7,000 illegitimate children. solving crimes and being a spy. Yeah, I mean, James Bond Jr. would be half Japanese. His mom's name would be Christmas, Merriweather, some bullshit. You know what I mean? That was James Bond Jr. I remember Brave Star. I remember Brave Star. Does anybody remember Brave Star? No. What was Brave Star? He was a Native American sheriff in a town that rode a robot horse that could change into a dude. What? And he had a gun. That sounds amazing. The robot horse could change into a dude. That sounds badass. The robot horse could change into a dude that walked around with like a horse head and he had a big ass gun and the fucking, and Brave Star could say shit like speed of the puma and get really fast or strength of the bear and get really strong. Oh, wait, I do remember this. Or ears of the wolf and hear really good. That all sounds awesome. It sounds awesome and then you look at the execution and you're like, oh. So, I think people have heard of it but I used to watch Where in the World is Carmen Sandie? Oh, yeah, of course. I used to play the game on the computer. I was always on there. I loved it. Any game show I'm all about. So, watching the game show version of that was fantastic. But they had a cartoon that I used to watch and she used to go around like these two kids used to go around the world searching for treasures with their uncle and then they would always have to fight Carmen because she stole them and so they, so they would the entire cartoon series was just her. It was just them trying to find these treasures and her. I loved it so much. the, the concept of the show just made no sense because it was how are you going to fence the Great Wall of China? You know what I mean? Like, it was, it was hilarious. But how could you fence it in the game? Like, you could, you just did it. It taught me shit. I was like, yay. How about Vampire Hunter D? Anybody ever watch Vampire Hunter D? Oh, yeah. That was a good, that was a good, that was a good anime. Well, there's a few good ones. Ninja Scroll was very good too. Ninja Scroll's bad ass. And see, people who like anime will castigate you for liking Ninja Scroll, but Ninja Scroll just, it made more sense than all that tentacle porn weirdo bullshit. You know what I mean? It's like, fuck dude, hero versus villains. Actually, have you seen, have you watched Afro Samurai? I, that's a little bit too exploitative. Why would you say that because he's black? It is. Yeah, that's exactly why I'm saying it. I've seen Mexican Samurais and Afro Samurais. Let Japanese people have the fucking Samurai shit. I like Samurai. Samurai Jack's good too. Well, you see, Samurai Jack was bad ass. Samurai Jack really was bad ass. Did you see the one with the archers? Hey, he was black. That's Phil Lamar. Ah. That's Phil Lamar. Did you see the one with the blind archers? Yeah. He had these blind dudes guarded this fucking sacred shit or whatever and they shot arrows by sound and they'd fucking shoot like two centimeters from you like they just heard you. That was, that was Gendy Tartakovsky, same as Powerpuff Girls, right? Yep. Yep. Yeah, he just made a movie recently. I don't remember what. It was so badass. Oh, we should go check it out. They did the closest they could to killing shit because they'd always have like robot or demon bad guys. Right. So he'd like cut a robot and fucking oil would spew out of it like blood. Like, it was bad ass. I also miss like Aeon Phlox. Oh, Liquid Television. Liquid Television. Yeah, the Max and the head. The Max. Those were the best. The Max was so sick. So here's a show. Here's a show. It's so funny. Beavis and Butthead? We only got a minute and 50. I love Beavis and Butthead. It's my guilty pleasure. We started, we can go a little bit. I can pretty much guarantee that nobody's heard of this. I watched this show every, like super early in the morning before school. I was probably like five called Don Coyote. And it was Don Quixote except that he was a coyote and Sancho Panza was a pig or something. Was he like a burro or something? I don't remember. Oh, I don't remember. Yeah, he was a coyote though. That's crazy. That's pretty awesome. I used to watch My Life as a Teenage Robot. That's also good, like tongue in cheek. It sounds like Small World. Yeah. It kind of is. Like this kid, like this kid's dad, it really is. This kid's like grandfather has this, invents this robot and her name is like Jenny and it's her like trying to make it as like all these teen problems that girls have. Like, oh no, this boy doesn't like me. And she like, she fights like villains and stuff, but then she has to deal with like girl chick problems. So when she's a 13 year old girl robot, does she find like oil in her panties? I don't know. Okay, you guys, we have 40 seconds to wrap up. Bump in the Night was also a really good cartoon. It is a very, very good podcast. Be sure you guys listen to it. When is it? It's Saturdays at noon. You can follow us on the Facebook, on the Twitter and on the Tumblr and Pinterest. Nice. And Instagram. We gots it all. We're social whores. you got anything? Edgar Destroys on Twitter. All right. And, yeah, supportdestruction.com. I'm at Matt Blackwood on Twitter. Check out the What Were We Talking About podcast on iTunes. My most recent guest was Rye Silverman and we talked about Boy Meets World. I'm October 30th, Ontario Improv. Come watch me. Yay. Yay. Good night. Yeah.! you