Skid Row Studios finale with drunk stories, celebrity butt debate, and soundboard chaos

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh it's all come down to this the skid row studios finale and now presenting your handsome and talented host chris abalo hello world this is chris abalo's podcast experiment and i am chris abalo welcome to the cape skid row studios finale the last show we will ever do at skid row studios so so i don't know why i just made a raptor noise yeah i don't know what that was i just opened my mouth and that's what came up it was very pleasant is oh the soundboard froze i had a uh ah rats i was gonna play an explosion just for dramatic emphasis but uh the soundboard's not working rats got it well this was supposed to be the sound bit it was just gonna be an explosion oh but i'll put it in in post because i'll be able to do post on this episode because it's it's being done in advance uh and to join me for this final rodeo okay i had to i'm sorry i was like right there i just you know what good call i was gonna do that as the intro song but i was like well it's not the last show ever it's just the last show here anyway joining me here in the studio please welcome holy shit there it is it's back don't worry guys we got it can i just say i clicked that before when i was like oh it's not working and the soundboard just came back online and the explosion went off that's funny now it's frozen again well here's the funny part sound effects that i was clicking and i was like oh shit it's not working they may go off randomly during the next few minutes apparently because this is going on and on oh wait hang on back again no it's out again can i just reset this one computer or no no i'm messing everything up it's just i'm not ruining anything he's just into it because he can literally like edit all of this i will add the sound effects in later i'll cut all this bullshit out yeah see there was there was something i have no idea i was just clicking i had a really good that's what she said joke in the middle of that don't fucking cut it out i'm not really gonna be cutting anything out that would be contrary to the nature of the live show we've been doing here for the last nine months anyway joining me for this finale are some of your favorite regulars please welcome back sherry bass you know i like a spicy you know i keep it spicy norman trotter and candice felt so are we gonna get to your her say hi hi guys i didn't get you guys didn't make a fucking noise for me there was an excuse why start now why start on the last show we're doing here all of a sudden it's like hey we'll be respectful of the host you're just doing your thing we were respectful all the time every damn day it took nine months but finally congratulations you got a baby no total curveball now listen once again last show from skid row studio is not the last episode of the show period next monday will be yet another episode which you can get at chrisabalo.com and itunes will be audio only as the shows will be for the next i'm gonna say a few months because it's definitely going to be november december will be just audio and uh as i said in the last couple weeks and again because the show is this particular episode is being pre-recorded you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you but you should still be getting the weekly episodes if you are a subscriber. And this video is also on YouTube as of now. So if you are just one of those people who listens to the show, if you want to watch any of the episodes from Cape 37 all the way up till this one, which would be 73, you can watch all of them on the YouTube channel. And that link is at chrisabalo.com. So please stop by and check out all the fine, fine videos. And as previously teased, I will probably around the holidays post the video from Cape 32, the first show we did from Skid Row Studios, because that video has never been released. I have videos of all the shows, but we only started releasing them. I started releasing them at Cape 37. So there are a few. And because that first episode with the classic lineup, yeah, that was with you guys. That was the first one we did here. Hooray. Wasn't it with that guy? Wasn't it with that guy? That wasn't with that second guy. That wasn't with that second guy. That was. That was nasty. Things got weird. Oh my gosh. It's always weird. Remember that? It always gets weird. He wanted that Candace. That guy. Jeez, Candace is just so sexy. He wanted to fist me in the ass. Yeah, yeah. I was like, ugh. No. I don't remember that. No. And there goes the sound of that. Can we, just for a laugh. That was appropriate though. Can you turn up the volume for the soundboard? Like how loud it goes through? Are you able to do that? I'm going to hear it. I'm going to hear it. Hit something and we'll find out whenever it goes off. I kind of like the idea that random. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. Leave it at that volume because it'll be fun. Just to hear. I'm just going to click stuff and hear things randomly going off. That was. Shit. So, no. That was 39. The one you guys are thinking. No, 32 is the first one we did here at Skid Row Studios. With who? With the two of you and John Karunas. Even if he. Who could not be here. That's because John's a bitch. He should be here. Oh, pretty good. That's so perfect timing. Christmas bells. Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Krampus. Oh, no. Is that coming out? Is that a thing coming out? Yeah, dude. It's going to be so good. I'm scared. I don't know. I feel like. I went to Horror Nights and Krampus was there. Really? I didn't see Krampus when I went there. Oh, look at him. He's scary. Yeah, dude. He had stilts on and shit and a baby in his back. Yes, yes, yes. That's over near like the. Yeah, right behind Michael Myers' house. That show you haven't been yet. Right. That's true. That's true. That's true. Best show ever. Yeah, I think so. I clicked a bunch of them and I guess they just all went off at the same time. This is amazing. It's too bad this is happening now because I would be having a blast with this over the next couple of months, but there won't be a next couple of months in the studio. Anyway, yes, they had a, what is it? It's Haunted Christmas or something. It's Dark Christmas. Dark Christmas. Is that over near Minions? Yeah, it's near Minions. Yeah, they've had that like past three years and. Yeah, but it was cool this year because they actually had. Creepy. Yeah, because they actually had Grand Fest and they were showing the preview in the park, which was nice. I'll never go. The Halloween Horror Nights? Never, ever. At Universal Studios? None of them. It was fun and awful. Universal Six Flags. It is fun. And awful. Screw that shit. You don't like, wait, you don't like theme parks? I like them when they're fun. Why don't you like Magic Mountain or Universal Studios? Not when they're covered with people that don't know about me. He said Halloween. He doesn't like the Halloween. He doesn't like the Halloween part. Oh, oh. Do you not listen to your guests, Chris Abalo? No, I don't. I don't listen to you. I don't listen to you near my eye. It was crazy. I just don't listen to you. There was chainsaws and. See, I wouldn't watch my back when going on a ride. That's not, that's not a thing. Well, you don't have to. Well, okay, that's not true. See, I'm a scaredy cat, but I like being scared. If that makes sense. It's like a kick. Like, mm. See, that's kind of like a turn on for you, but eventually it's just going to piss me off. My whole body hurt for like three days after. Horror nights. I was like. Because you were so tense, right? I was like this the whole night. No. Carrie was laughing so hard at me and my friend Emily because we were both like, we go through the houses, we'd be like. And I jumped on the wall in one of them in AVP. See, if I had a weapon, I could hit them back. No, you're not allowed to touch them. You don't want to do that. That's why I can't go. But they don't touch you. That's why I can't go. You don't want to be that stereotypical angry black man that just. And just hits people. No. It's true. What? What? What? What? Wow. That's what happened when I put you in the face. That timing was awesome. Chris isn't going to host anything tonight. He's just going to end up being a five-year-old pushing buttons and laughing. Oh my God. I don't need to talk. You all can just talk. You don't need me. You've established this. This is actually true for the past nine years. I'm redundant. He finally gets it. Yeah. What? Jordan and I did a whole show together. We did. You did. It was very well received. And then we strategically had Skid Row shut down. So Chris would go away forever. You're right. Yeah. It's working. You're welcome, guys. Oh. Sherry, didn't I pick the best people to join me on the show? I'm still on your side. From the jump. Thank you. I appreciate that. I can't reach. Sherry, join us. Sherry. Sherry, no. We do the E.T. It's a never-ending story. Just, no. Okay. I think I'm going to be Falcor for Halloween. Is anybody? See, because Halloween. Are you sure? Because I feel like people want to ride you then. Hey, now. Don't be nasty, Chris. I'm trying to be a gentleman here. We have a caller. No, just kidding. The answer is yes. How much? My favorite thing is that Candace has a comp. This is why I'm going to miss being in a studio, at least temporarily, because Candace has a complex any time I say we have a caller. I don't like to talk to people. From Albuquerque. Just in general. Albuquerque. People from New Mexico. Unless your name is Walter White, I don't want to fucking talk to you. And he's fictional, so it doesn't even count. He could be real. You don't know. Yeah, you don't even know. I'm sure there's somebody named Walter White. Oh, well, yeah. The name. Not that particular guy. Not a meth dealer. You don't know that. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. We need to find this man. Look, Halloween is this week, so what's everybody going to be up to? Is anybody dressing up? What are you all doing? Norman hates West Hollywood, and that's where the best action is around here. I don't hate West Hollywood. I just hate going there. See? Wow. That makes total sense. Where do I come up with this stuff? I get it. As a concept, it's fine. I'm like, oh, it's cool. You get there, you're like, I fucked up. I got to go back. I made a terrible mistake. Oh, shit. I have a show. I have shows that weekend. Yes, please plug your show because it is this weekend. The last weekend is this weekend. Yeah, it is called Death at the Door, playing at the Whitmore Looney Theater on Vineland and Magnolia in North Hollywood. And it's a... An original horror anthology, and it's kind of like a horror comedy. Yep. This is awesome. There it is. This really is going to be the best. That was beautiful. It's a story of... It's basically like this guy is in present day telling... He's a handyman, and he's telling a girl about all the murders that have happened in the house that she lives in. So then we have three segments that are showing the travesties that have happened. And then the overlying storyline. Sounds like my kind of story. It's a lot of fun. It's really funny. We got great reviews. Is it scary? Are there horror elements to it, or is it mostly comedic? No, it's mostly comedic. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, there's a couple little moments that you don't see coming. You might be like, ooh. But no, it's not scary. But it's not full on scary. No, it's definitely... Yeah. Listen, you guys are watching me. I'm paying attention to you. Given that Halloween weekend is this weekend, we're preparing for Christmas. Yes. It's October. It's October. It's going to be fine. So that means decorations. Oh, yeah. So yeah, it's a really great show. We have a great cast. Fantastic directors. Everybody's really talented. So we got great reviews. People have loved it. So come out. Check it out. You can go to defiancetheatercompany.com and get tickets. Or you can get them at the door. They're 15 bucks. But we've been selling really well. So you should get them in advance. Will you be sending autographs? Obviously, I do. Of course. I saw a lot of your autographs. I want to make sure. Come see Candice perform in person and then say hi. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, guys. It's really, it's a great show. We had a lot of fun working on it. Everybody's worked their asses off. We have some special effects. So it's really fun. Ooh. Yeah. Ah. So that's it. Is that the only Halloween oriented thing you'll be participating in, Norman? Because it's not scary? He likes scary things. I do like scary things, but. Just not in his face. In real life. That's it. That's going to piss me off. I'm going to avoid that. But for me, for Halloween, I will be at home drinking wine. Wine. Mm. So it's just another day. Yay. That sounds like some grown man shit. I'm an adult. I can buy candy. I can buy liquor. Are you going to watch Nightmare Before Christmas? What? I'm just saying, Halloween, people, you know, hike up those prices on drinks. I've got time for that. See, I go to Walgreens, you pick up a bottle, and then you're all set. I'll make myself like a pumpkin martini or something. Oh, that's. That sounds nasty because I don't like pumpkins much. Okay, so are you going to go to the store and get like canned pumpkin and then like put it in a mixer with vodka and shake it up? Mm-mm. That sounds awful. Well, I'm going to like make like a vodka tini with like some pumpkin spice, like sprinkle it up with some sugar. That is the whitest thing you've ever said. Can you put some whipped cream on it too? Oh my God, yes. Some simple syrup to make it sweet. I know what I'm doing. Pinterest. Can I come to your house after my show? Can you make me some? Oh, but with apple cider. Ooh. It will make my day. We're getting to that time of year, even though it's a hundred fucking degrees outside. Yeah, totally. Yeah. That's fine, except it's not. This is true. It's very true. It's been irrationally hot. Yeah. Just for this time of year. No, just in general. All right, I want to wear my sweater dresses. This whole summer has been a thousand degrees. Well, no, it was pretty mild in June and July, but August and September were just like there were these peaks where it was 103. For five days. And then it would dip down a little and then it would go back up again. I lived in the deep valley and it was like 115. That's nasty. And this has been happening almost every day of the summer in my life because of where I chose to live because I'm an idiot. Was over a hundred degrees. This is going to be cackling like an idiot. This has been an ungodly summer. But you had a pool. I did, but I don't do well in the heat or the sun. Look at me. We're curious. Exactly. The Irish folk are not bred to bake. This is true. Yeah. She's glowing as she's sitting here with a spotlight. I'm like a ghost. Can you even see me? Imagine the sun. No. You literally can't look at it. If you're dead this entire time, if it's at the sixth sense right now. For the record, I did want Candace in the middle. Guys, everyone, I'm the M. Night Shyamalan twist. It's a twist. The token white girl. The token white girl is the twist at the end. The token honky on that side of the table. I did want Candace in the middle though because I wanted to be in the middle. I did want Candace in the middle though because I wanted to be in Oreo, but everyone defied me. Once again. I said you were a giant racist for that. It's different shades of chocolate so it doesn't count. That's not racism. That's delicious. It's different shades of chocolate so it doesn't count. It's true. All the same color when the lights are off. It's true. That's right. I said it. I'm glad this is the last show. That was inappropriate. Oh, lies. Please. I'm offended. It's not the last show ever. Calm down. You'll be locked in my apartment soon, which is one of the good things because people have said, oh, I wish it was more than an hour. Well, now since we'll be doing the show kind of wherever, it can be because we're not going to be booking in somewhere. I don't know. Yeah, you do. Seems like a lot. No, it doesn't. Seems like they could be liquored out for that kind of thing. Hey, the first time we'll get locked in a boss's apartment. Hey, now. There will be a holiday episode. There will be a party involved. Can we have a drama party? Can you write a porn the next time after you get locked in his apartment? Write the second part of porn. I don't think I would feel comfortable writing a porn being locked in his apartment. Okay, like after. Yeah. I don't think I would feel comfortable writing a porn being locked in his apartment. After I'm victimized and I write about my accounts. You're like the lovely bones part two. I feel like it'd be more like- Misery? Just kidding. Nothing more like Anne Frank but the whore in porn. Like I'm trapped and trying to make noises- But we could have pajama parties. Can I say- Can I say- Can I say- That wasn't planned. I hit that like two minutes ago. I hit that sound effect. So the fact that Blake just now is awesome. That was completely, that had nothing to do, was way before you brought up being locked in my apartment. That's awesome. I will not cease to be amazed by this. On second thought, we are going to do a two-hour show. Fuck it. What? Dink. Dink. We'll pay William ourselves. How much money everybody have on? Yeah. Keep it here for an extra hour. I can only pay in hand jobs. I'm sorry. He's a have. He's nodding emphatically. But I'm very lotioned up, so I'm good to go. That's true. Actually, he smells very good. What? You know, there were people wondering if it was going to be like a drunken party, like Skid Row finale episode. It should have been. It should have. It should have been. Well, it was going to be for the Christmas episode, which isn't going to happen here anyway. It was going to be a big two-hour affair, and there was going to be a party in the green room, and kind of rollerblading. And there was going to be a little Tate who was going to come in and out and tell stories, and oh, it was going to be fun. And that's going to be in your creepy apartment? My apartment's not creepy. Can we drink mulled wine? We'll be when you're there. If you want to. I've never had good mulled wine. What is that? It's like you like warm wine with spices. That sounds disgusting. No, it's a German thing. It's supposed to be really good, but I've only had it once, but it was homemade, and it was awful. Mulled wine is good. Chris, I know. That's not. That's not. You find me a place that makes good mulled wine, and I'll try it. I like chilled wine. Red wine? If I'm going to have wine. Red wine? Cold? Mm-mm. Sometimes when it's hot, and you want to drink, I'll have a red wine with some ice in it. Moscato. I will say, that was very appropriate. I deserve that. That was unpopular. I think, wait a second. I think this is Skynet. Oh, my God. I think this computer, I think it's become self-aware. Legitimately the best soundboard. And it was dead on the money with that. Well done, soundboard. That was perfect. This soundboard has become self-aware. Oh, man. Shit, you know what that means? This is amazing. Hot liquor, though. Hot liquor. No, that's like hot sake. Yeah, man. Have you ever had a hot toddy? It's delicious. I've never had a hot toddy before. I don't like it burning down my throat. See, I... Ooh, I love it. I feel conflicted. I don't like being drunk and hot. It's too damn hot. Well, that's what's gonna happen in the winter. What kind of hot? Well, yeah, that's a different story. But, you know. What the fuck is that? This soundboard's possessed. Did it just do that on its own? Unless I hit it like a half hour ago, which is possible, I... Well, there we go. The studio... The studio's communicating with us. Wait, hold on. What is this? It sounds like crowd noise. So, yeah. It sounds like whispering ghosts. It does. The studio is possessed. Hey, just so you know, I'm in the... I'm in the... I'm in the... I'm in the shadows. Just being the same. And I'm gonna be wearing a white sheet, so don't worry about it. See, Cam is... Once again, it's been dead this entire time, guys. This is what I really sound like. Yeah? This is getting a little... Oh, yeah. This is creepy. I don't like it. And it's not ending, either. No, it's just... Go away. Yeah. How long is it? Don't you dare touch that knob. Ghosts want to be a part of our conversation. Something Norman has never said in his life. Hey, now. What the fuck? Wait, did a car crash end the... What? The car crash ended the ghost. That car just took out the crowd noise. That car just went right into the crowd. It just keeps getting better. Yeah, it does. I have no idea what's going on. You don't drink hot toddies to get drunk. See? Contradiction. Contradiction. Contradiction. All right. There's a clear misunderstanding. Contradiction. Remember that Starburst commercial? Nope. Damn. I still want to see Chris Abolica drunk. I'm a boring drunk. I don't care. I want to see it. I keep telling him. Why are you boring? I swear, even for his birthday, I was like, you need to get drunk. Right? Because have a drink. He claims he's going to fall asleep, but I don't believe that. I'm a sleepy drunk. Look at you. Look at you. Look how extroverted I am when I'm sober. And it will magnify. It's not going to... It's too much. No, it won't. It's too much. It's going to tone you down. It's going to tone you down. It won't intensify. Have some drinks. No. Just do it. That's Sherry. Don't worry. No, that's Sherry's heartbeat. No, she just went like this. That's Sherry. That was me. I know that. I'm talking about... Oh, my God. No, you're real. Oh, it is a heartbeat. Yeah. You guys are getting the table. I think it will intensify and magnify times 10. It doesn't. I've been drunk. Trust me. Chris. What, 10 years ago? That doesn't count. Yeah, we haven't seen it. We don't care about your opinion. We want to see you get drunk. We want to see it for our own eyes. Jesus. As you get older, you get more tired. It's not going to get more exciting. That doesn't get... No. Who said that? Be a good friend and get loaded. Norman got drunk. I've been a bad friend this entire time. And I had no idea. Wee. Okay, Edgar Allen Poe in the background. Yes. What? Okay, I went away. Okay. You scared it off. That didn't count. It still went through. No, it didn't work. You're cough-biting. It didn't work. You're just... You're just bad at it. I just... I can't use it. Every time you cough, you're like... For him to get the cough button down now is moot. Oh. Oh, holy shit. That's how it works. That's how the button works. I press it all the time. Stupid button. Whatever. Ghost. User error. Ghost. It's your fault for being sober and not being drunk, Chris Ballo. I ain't afraid of no ghost. I've never been... Like ghost, like... As in... Patrick Swayze? Ooh. No, that's... That's more of a sensual ghost. No, that... Oh, God. Who doesn't love a sensual ghost? Is it the clay? Anyway. No, that's not believable when you, like, have the clay. I don't know. I feel like... I feel like I gotta wash my hands now. Like, you're done. You're like, ah. Let's mold some clay together. This is nasty. That's not the... No. No. I mean, if it was, like, cake, you're like... I don't know. You're like, oh, let's look off me. What, you want to mold cake with a ghost? That's disgusting. Yeah, I would love to bake a cake with a ghost. You're like, I could get it afterwards. Bake a cake and get it in? What? What is that? What is that? Okay, so ghost two. Norman and the cake ghost. I'm, like, imagining Norman in this. Like, frosting it? Like, frosting it. Then the ghost is, like, behind him. Like, that's sugar. You can't put sugar near your vagina or your dick. That's STD, guys. Well, you want to put, like, friggin' mud down there? You're like, yeah. She didn't put mud on his ghost dick. We're cutting... Hang on. We're cutting a phony trailer for this. Because this is too good. Ghost two. With cake. With cake? With cake. Now with added cake. Is that what that movie Cake was about? What? I don't think so. Have you seen it yet? No. She didn't win for a reason. She didn't get nominated for a reason. Whoa, why don't you calm down? That's true. Norman's going to bash Hollywood. We're nice people. He's going down swinging. And you're trying to get a... Yeah. Why don't you slow down? Yeah, relax. I wasn't going to talk about how the movie was a chance to show people she could... Oh, whoops. Damn. What? Anyway. Let's talk about something else. I was talking about cake. Yeah, let's talk about food again. What kind of cake? What kind of cake? Yeah, there's different kinds of cake. I like that I just said snack. Right? Norman's upset. Cake is a casual snack. Norman's upset about the lack of vanilla cake. Because white boys are flat asses. And it makes him upset. Mm-mm. Mm-hmm. I like white cake, but I hate small booties. But they are totally... That's going to be your epitaph. That's Norman's epitaph. That's my white cake, but I hate small booties. I hate small booties. It's wrong. It shouldn't happen. It shouldn't happen. No. What celebrity is the best ass? You have one picked out. Oh, I already know the answer to this. You probably have 15. Who? No. I know who you're going to say. Who do you think it's going to be? Do you? Who has the best... Oh, Henry Cavill. Yeah? You think? Mm. Who do you think I was going to say? It's not who I thought you were going to say. Second. Not me. Well, in person, I saw Craig Ferguson. I mean, he's had an okay day. I love everything else, though. Oh, excuse my language. Craig Ferguson? You say Craig Ferguson? Yeah. I mean, everyone... Are you going to fight about it? Everyone has their... Their choice. Kenneth, who's your celebrity booty? He bent over and I just happened to look. Who has... Either gender. Just open season. Oh, for... Come on, Candace. This morning when I was working out, I watched Coyote Booty. Coyote Booty Ugly. And Piper Perabo has a great ass. That is random. That was years ago. Of all the films. Listen, girl. I turned on Netflix and I was like, I just got to turn some shit on while I work out. Okay, okay, okay. I said, hot ladies on a bar. Okay, now it's Chris Abad's turn. Chris, who's your celebrity ass? Oh, my God. You can't fight it. Yep. Wow. Carrie hates that song. I was singing it all day. She was like, that song is awful. No, it was the best. Whoa. Back then. But Piper Perabo, she's got... Back then. Back then, not now. Her booty's on point. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm not an ass girl, so I don't look... Like, I'm not... What are you then? You're a breastie? Yeah. A breastie? I like boobs and arms. Arms? Arms? And legs. I'm also a leg girl. I like a looper arms. I love, like, long... I've seen your girlfriend. Legs, yeah, you know. She's a towel drinker wild. And I like... Yeah, I'm a boob girl. Like, I can't. So butts, I mean, are cute, but I don't care. Butts are banging. Butts cannot lie. I mean, clearly, we have three ass people in the room. Yeah. Well, I got them both, so whatever. We meant taste. We didn't mean physique. My bad. That too. I mean, that's also a fair statement that you said. If you got it. Well, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Shook him. Chris, you're celebrity butt. Yeah. Oh, we gotta pick a celebrity butt? Yes. Say it, Chris. Make it good. That's a good question. Don't fuck up. Oh. I'm trying to think who has a nice ass. Don't fuck up. I mean, see, the easy... Excuse me. Yeah, don't fuck up your opinion. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. Candice is on my side. You're welcome. You're welcome. He's done it before. I appreciate that. I always do, according to you. When you marry John... Nothing's ever good enough. ...Garunas and fuck Mary Kill. Terrible mistake. Absolutely not. I'm so glad I started that game. That was... I'm so glad you called in with that. That was awesome. Jesus. All right, come on. Make it. Make the choice. I'm going to pick... It's an easy one, but it's because it's true. Probably Sofia Vergara right now. She's got to be top five. That's a good booty. Come on. She's got a good booty. I have a woman crush on her. That whole figure is just like... Ridiculous. She's brilliant. She's got a baby. 43. Yeah, forget it. And she does know. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I normally hate that, but I'm like okay with it. She's like, no, it's good. I know. Like the way she does it, I'm like, yeah. Like, keep going, yeah. Get it. Get it, girl. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know many women at all that can carry themselves with that much confidence. Right. And that girl works it. I'm fine with it. That's not. Did I fuck up, Norman? No? No. That's twice. Okay, what about a dude? Dude's asses? Yeah. I don't know. That's a lie. No. Pick one. Every man, no matter if you're straight or gay, can look at another dude and be like, well done. Yeah, but I haven't looked at dude's asses, so I'm just going to pick somebody random. I have a girl one. You have to have a dude one. Who's your girl one? Who's your girl one? I love you, Cruz. Oh, I forgot. Really? I have like a thing for her. Have you looked above her neck? No? Okay. Anyway. She's fucking beautiful. You think? He loves me. He loves me. She's fucking amazing. She's a girl who goes straight for it. I know what you're thinking, but I'm not going to say it because it's. Oh, what am I thinking? I want you to say it. Do tell. I want you to be real right now, Cherry. No, don't put it out. You already did. Girl. Yeah, you mentioned it. This is your fault now. Peer pressure. Do it. She got that horse look. I wasn't going to say that, but thanks a lot. Huh? I was going to say bird. How dare you? I was going to say bird. You two have no taste. Clearly. You're here. That's all I'm going to say. That was like a lot of like. Yeah, that was. I didn't like that. I was like, you're like, damn. He's slathering on the disapproval. I don't think I've ever. I've never seen that. All kinds of shade. Like shade, like in that level. The day when it gets my pale big Cruz. The only one that you can do worse for him is if you dog Nicole Kidman. I will kill you. He will murder you. Yeah? Like legitimately. He will murder you. So who, wait, now is this, is this based on looks or talent? I'm curious. I want to be best friends with Nicole Kidman. Okay. I saw her in person. I saw her twice in person. Don't be careful, Sherry. Be careful. There is not a person between you. She's pretty. Okay. I'll leave it at that. I went to the others the other day. So not because of talent. Everything involved. How dare you? She's the queen. Just be careful. I'm asking because I don't know. I want your true name. She's beautiful. She's talented. She's super nice. She left Tom Cruise. She left Tom Cruise. Well, everybody leaves Tom Cruise. So we can't. He's 0 for 3. Except John Travolta. Oh, wow. Look who's the one who just got herself excised from show business. Oh my God. They're best friends. I can't believe you leave it. Oh my God. They're best friends. Huh? Are they really? Really? Yeah, they're good friends. They should do a road comedy together then. Yep. I think that would be a hit for both of them. I feel like that would be the most uncomfortable movie ever. What was that movie he did? Who? Which one? Well, Tim Allen, Hogs, Speed of the Wild Hogs. That movie was awful. I like that you said, what was that movie? I was like, what is this? There's a lot of movies, Sherry. Well, I meant, what is this movie you speak of? This talking picture. You know the one. The one. You know the one. With the disco pants. And the cowboy hat. I had to suffer through Wild Hogs. It was awful. Wait a second though. Okay. So now we know like, Norman will murder someone if they talk foul of Nicole. So who would you guys? I don't know. I don't know if I admire anybody that. Fiercely. Yeah. You are full of lies today. Yeah, that's the word for it. That I would be like, because I don't, what's a person without flaws? They're not human. They're a robot. He didn't say Nicole Kim was perfect. No, I'm trying to think of. She's close. He did though, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty fucking close according to Norman. She is. She's wonderful. She's like a fairy. I don't know. I don't, I don't think there's somebody who I would, I mean, celebrity, someone who I don't know personally. I don't know if there is somebody I can pick who would just be like, I will not have you speak ill about them in my presence. I don't know if I have somebody like that. You're the worst, Chris. I am. Yeah, Sherry. Sherry has a real answer. I know Sherry does. Oh man, you put me on blast. Yeah, Sherry. I, do I have to think of one because I don't have one? You're going to have to if you don't have one. You really don't have one? What? Do you have one? Do you guys have one? Wait, hang on. Does Candace, do you have one? Yeah. Who? If anybody talks any smack about Tatiana Maslany, I would like murder someone. Yeah, she's amazing. She's a fucking boss. And she's rooting for Star Wars. No, she's not. It's not real. You sure? Yeah. Okay. She said it herself. Did she? It's not real. So. You know she couldn't say if it were though. She talked at length about the audition. I don't care about Star Wars. I don't care. I'm just trying to feed. I don't think, I don't think it's real. But, I mean, it would be cool. But, I just think she's. She's gonna work. Just unbelievably talented and cool. After Orphan Black is done. She's too talented. She'll keep working. Yeah. So her. I think. Candace, thanks for having a real answer. That was really. You're welcome. Shady boots. Shady boots, William. I'm just pointing stuff out. William, I know you got one. I see you have one. Please jump in. I'm not good enough. Hold on. Let's guess. Can we guess? Sure. And what is it? No. What's your guess? What's your guess first? You want to guess? Oh, guess. Throw one in, Candace. Come on. I want to go like Fred Armisen. Fred Armisen? It's because you have that porn stash right now. He does. Oh my God. I mean, my stash was supposed to be more ethnic than. Ethnic. Whatever. Well, wait, musicians, actors, or. Anybody, like, like, the person above people that you would like. If anybody says ill, you're like. It's like a backhand. What? Who? Of all people? Yes. Kanye West. Kanye West. All right, get off the mic. You're fucked up. What? I mean, I get why people don't. No, but you know. I mean, I know I get why people get irritated with him, but. That boy, not white. That boy, what? Cray. Cray? What? I said not white. And you were like, what? Kanye, come on. She said white boys get irritated with him, and you had just said. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He didn't say white boys get irritated with him. No, that's literally what he just said. No, no, no. He said, get white. White people. He didn't say white people. It's because you said that ethnic stash. I just went. So immediately you're like, oh, he's got an accent. I can't. I was like, wait, what? Okay, but you understand why people aren't really like, okay. Driving with him. Okay. He's. That's gotta be, that's gotta be a constant battle. There's a lot of like what he says. Yeah. It has truth to it. That's fair. He's very polarizing. Yeah. Well, he's a very smart man. That too probably. And I think he's just. I think he's never been. He's never been told no. And that's why he's essentially a madman because he just does whatever. He's surrounded by people just like, yeah, he isn't. He never had anybody. He'd be like, shut the fuck up, dude. You sound like an idiot. I think it's just because he's been called a genius for the past 20 years. You would too. If you were Kanye West though. See, now we're doing the thing. This is not fair. We asked William. We asked William and now we're all shit talking Kanye. That's true. Yeah. I'm sorry. You're right. This is your guy. This is your guy. I don't want to reveal mine. I apologize. He's gonna jump through the glass. It's all closing. Does Carol have one? Yeah, Carol. I'm sure. Do you have somebody who you. I know hers. Who's your person? Like your celebrity or whatever. Who you will not stand. Speak it in the mic. Do you want to. Mic check. You want to come in. You want to come in here and talk about it. You want to sit in. Do you want to come in. You want to come in here or do you want to say it from the control room? It doesn't matter. You can join it. You're here. Fuck it. Carol's like. Come on in. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. That's my sister. Carol's ready to come in. Carol. Carol. Carol. Carol. Carol. Carol. Carol. Woo. Don't disappoint us. It better be good. I'm an awful brother because I'm not cheering my own sister. Who is your person? What? Oh. The gentleman Sherry mentioned. The gentleman Sherry mentioned before. Craig Ferguson? Yes. We're kindred sisters guys. He's my boss. I'm going to give you all that. We know. We know. We know. We know. We know. That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah. Give me a high five girl. You got this. I do love him. He is really funny. Don't be a hater Chris. No. He's awesome. I'm just doing it to make fun of her. I'm the baby brother. That's what I'm supposed to do. That's my job. Except Sherry and Chris. Chris is pretending to be like. He's like. It's not really. It's not really. No. Chris never has an answer. Leave him to say no. When I got to think about it and tell you next week. He's like. Hey. So guys. Tell me about your darkest secret. Okay. Your turn Chris. Not only on this show. We're going to. I don't have any dark secrets. Okay. I have one. I have one. I have one. I have one. I have one. Leonardo DiCaprio. Don't talk shit about him. Okay. Okay. He's too pretty. Respect that. And he's talented. He is talented. I'll give you that. Thanks Sherry for opening your stuff. Thank you Sherry. Thank you Sherry for. Yeah. Respect you as a person. Giving us your soul. You're welcome. Chris. That was beautiful. You don't have a soul so we get it. The only one I would fall in my store for is Sandra Bullock. I knew it. That's a good call though. I don't know why you didn't say it in the first place. Who doesn't love Sandy? It's true. I mean really. Like. She's a classic. She's like. We're going to come in and we're like. Can I buy you a drink Sandy? Let's just talk for hours. Do you know she has a restaurant in Austin, Texas. That everything in the restaurant. And so she's from. Yeah. Everything is recycled. Yeah. She's from Virginia but she's set up like base camp in Austin. Oh she's from Virginia. I thought she was from Austin. No she just fell in love with Austin. She's the most. Sometime in the 90s. And that's why they shopped Miss Congeniality there and what not. Gentle. So you know all this shit now. She's just great. No I knew about it because. She's good people. So you were lying to us this entire time. It was in Michael Kite's autobiography. I don't know why you didn't say it. Here you go. Look what you've created. I'm sorry. I don't think it's going to go there. Fuck. We got away with the puns because John decided to be a dick and leave us all alone tonight. Oh no. I know. You're hitting on him. Michael Caine out. You can just. And if we could silence all the mics but mine for a moment. I'd like to talk to everybody about audible.com. Oh you piece of shit. The internet's leading provider of digital audio books with over 180,000 titles to choose from. You can get any one of those titles for free by going to audibletrial.com slash cape. Download a free audio book. Norman despite all his shit talking is an audible subscriber so he needs to be quiet and he has to be because his mic's muted. Thank you so much William. I appreciate that somebody who. That someone is showing respect to the host. Thank you so much. Anyway download a free audio book. Start a free 30 day trial. Listen to it on your PC, your Mac, your tablet, your iPhone, your Android, whatever. Get the app and check it out. Listen through the cloud. Download to your device. It's awesome. Audibletrial.com slash cape. Get a free audio book people. Okay. We can bring everyone back in. Thanks man. It really is a good app. I give you that. I give you that. Were you going to list every device? Almost. I was just going to run the clock down so I don't need to answer any more fucking questions from you people. Oh. Don't be a dick. Too late. I've been a dick long before you knew me. You know what's fucked up? Not really. I mean if math is fucked up. I've been friends with you guys for over two years now. Dang. That is fucked up. It dawned on me. Yeah. We met. We met around. Norman's thinking two years too long. Beginning. Yeah. Right. All right. You go back to the control room. No. No. No. You show yourself out. God damn it. How can you come on your brother's show and accuse him of being a dick? She's the big sister. That's her job. It is a job. Amen. And I've lived with it for years. It's on her resume. There it is. To Shay. It's on her resume. That's her horse's name. For that big sister. Shut up. Boom. Goes the dynamite. No. At the beginning of September 2013. Shit. That's how I met the two of you. That's crazy. That's awesome guys. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird to think about. Yay for friendship. Yay for friendship indeed. I guess. But it doesn't feel like it though, right? I mean, there's an old person talk now, but it really doesn't. It's like, wow, it's been two years I've been friends with you guys. Oh my God. I just can't believe it. It feels like I've been touched in the wrong way. That's not true. I'll touch you the right way. I've... No. You know, being a man, I could touch Norman the right way, but yeah. It would be weird for you, Sherry. It would be weird for all of us. It would be weird for all of us. It would. Sherry, no. Do you want to host? What's happening? Hang on. Carol's going to take over as host because it would still be cape because we have the same initials. Do you want to ask the panel something? Carol, ask a question. Ask a question. I have an answer. That I have no answer for. As usual. I don't know. Let's see. I like your hair tonight. Thank you. It's very long. It reminds me of Gilmore Girls and I love that. I don't leave it out. Get on the mic. Rapunzel. Rapunzel. It's really weird. Get on the mic. Oh, sorry. Pretend it's Craig Ferguson. No, I feel like I should be entangled. I love it. That's what I said. I said it. Rapunzel. Rapunzel. Rapunzel. I think it looks really cute. Thank you. Anyway, what's your question? Just wanted to give you a compliment. Come on. What do you want to know? You've been here for months and months. I also have a question for William. He's gone now. Yeah, William. William, do you have a question for us? He's like, make fun of Kanye. I fucking quit. He's like, these idiots. I thought we weren't going to do that. He's got one. It's going to be weird. Yeah. It's all right. What's up, man? I can quote Kanye. Do you have a question? You've known everybody for a couple of months. I think you should tell your best drunk story. Best drunk story. All Norman stories are drunk stories. That's good. That's the first good question I've had all night, Chris. Oh, shit. Questions are my forte. Big boy. Anyway. I think Chris should go first. Yeah, Chris. Since you don't drink. Really? He doesn't have a drunk story. I can count the amount of times I've been. He's been drunk one time. Yeah. The amount of times I've been legitimately drunk, I count on one hand. So I don't have any good stories. One hand. I like how it. I don't have enough hands to count that. You know. For the record. Oh, stop it. Hello. Hello. Hello. All right. Who's going first? I don't. I don't have a story. I'm telling you. You don't have a story? No. He already told me. He goes to sleep. I feel like I have to get one of those needles. Just put it in my mouth. Put it in his arm. Is this study hall or drunk stories? That might be the way. All right. Who's going to go? Should we give him a room? I'm going to continue. I'm going to continue not drinking. Just to fucking spite you. Hey. How about that? Just to fuck and spite you? Yes. That sounds like angry sex. Yes. Okay. So I guess. I don't know. Norman has at least 10 chambered. Come on. I have a lot. And that's the problem. Well, just give up. First one that. That's popping in your head. I was like, honey, honey. Four years of my life. Okay. And because I'm not as bad as all of you, it doesn't need to be your worst, you know, experience. Because we're real people, okay? We have experiences. We've been through some things. What? Anyway, go on, Candace. I apologize for interrupting. You have one that you're hesitating on. I can see it. Okay, whatever. Pick the most entertaining one. Yeah. Oh, God. Okay. So we, my girlfriend's, a good friend came to Chicago to visit and we all went out. And I went out with this. It was me, him, my girlfriend, and then this girl that I was going to school with. And we all went out and had a bunch of sangria. So I had like, we shared like two or three pitchers of sangria. And then we went to a different bar and I had like two cucumber vodka and sodas. And then, or maybe three. And then two shots of coffee flavored Patron. And things got weird. And I thought I was going to barf. So I went to the bathroom. And I was like, it's fine. I'm just going to hurl and it'll be fine. And I thought I was in there for like five minutes, but I wasn't puking. So I was like, oh, this is the worst. So I was just sitting there for a minute. And then like the door is like, somebody was banging really hard. And I was like, hold on a second, hold on a second. It was my girlfriend. She's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm just trying to barf. Like, it's going to be fine. And she was like, first off, the door was unlocked. Like, what are you doing? Second off, there's a fucking line outside because you've been in here for 20 minutes. Just hovering over the toilet trying to puke. And I was like, oh, okay, well, I'm not done yet. Just give me a second. And she was like, get out of the bathroom. We're leaving. So I stumbled through the bar. And as soon as I hit the outside air, it just came over me. And I was like, oh, no. And I went to go into a can, but it was a recycling bin. And so I was like, can't do it there. And I puked in a trash can on the corner of this busy city in Chicago. And it smelled like cucumber. And the whole time I was puking, I was screaming, I pay good money in taxes to puke. And this trash can. And then we went home. I like how self-aware you were that you didn't get the recycling can. Yeah, no, I literally, I remember walking through the bar, like, sort of leaning back like this. Like, I remember this sort of motion. I remember, yeah, in my brain, I was like, I'm doing awesome. But, like, visually, I was like. I know, I was like, this thing is a mess. And as soon as I hit, it was like a crisp night. I hit the Chicago. I was like, nope. And I just remember the blue. And I was like, not there. I respect that. You were like, no, I can't do that. I was like, I can't do the recycling bin, but the trash can all over it. And then the cabbie was like yelling at us the whole way home because he was like, don't puke in my cab. And my girlfriend was like, she's not going to. Shut the fuck up. And then we got upstairs, my friend and my friend visiting Pittsburgh is like, all right, you puked. You ready to go? Let's go again. Rally. And I was like, my girlfriend's like, she's. And then I took a shower for two hours. And woke up at like four in the morning, like in cold water, all pruned up and shit. Then went to bed with a towel on my head, all dried out like a fucking old lady and shit. And then the next morning I woke up and our friend was like, OK, let's go have brunch and mimosas. And I was like, I'm dying. Don't talk to me. Stay home and just die. We went to a museum and I was so hung over that I couldn't even drink tomato juice. That's how fucking I was in a bad place. That's epic. So that was one of my good ones. Wow. That's a really good one. Yeah. I've had better. There are more. We'll tease that for future installments. All right, Norman. My drunken story. Well, it was like five years ago. It was New Year's. It was New Year's Eve. I'm looking at you like, you know, right? I thought maybe you were there. It's possible. You could have been. You could have fooled me. I was like, oh yeah, I do. I was at a party. I was absolutely there. It would have been awesome. It was like, if Candace thought you were going in a direction you weren't because she thought you were referring to a story that she was there for. And she was going to out you for a super embarrassing story. Oh, gosh. Damn. I'm kind of sorry we didn't go down that road. I was not there. I can tell. We're all going to wish we were there momentarily. It was like five years ago. We chose a bar that was like two, three blocks away from us. We're like, we can walk to it, spend our night there, get drunk, then walk back home. It's totally fine. It was a perfect plan. And so we all thought, let's just pregame for a little bit. Yeah. Let's just pregame for a little bit, then go to the bar. And so some girl, Rose was her name, she made these drinks, I think it was vodka and Red Bull and some other juice. They first from having it. And I was like, I had a lot. I think I had, I don't remember. I had some drinks. I want you to give me an estimate of the number. Well, she poured heavy in these huge solo cups. She bought a lot of liquor. And I was like, it's fine. We'll drink for a couple of hours when I get to the bar. It's perfectly fine. And so we begin walking to the bar and halfway to the bar. I black out. Like I completely black out at like 10 o'clock, no, like nine o'clock. Damn. And I woke up the next morning, back at the apartment and being back, everyone's like, you fucked up last night. I was like, what happened? They're like, well, you got to the bar and flip the fuck out. It was like, you're running around the bar. I played a perfect game of pool, which I don't know how, cause I'm really shitty at pool. I was like, what the fuck? I was like, do you even know how to play pool? I've literally never thought of that in my life. I got this guys. He's like how Peter Griffin can only play the piano when he's drunk. So he's drunk. Yeah. All right. So he's like a prodigy when he's drunk. And the worst part was apparently I went to the bathroom and I threw up everywhere and I fell onto the toilet and broke it. No. I broke the fucking toilet. It like shattered. I like that your story is so good. I like it. It was so bad that you heard all this second hand. I really liked that. The bartender kicked me out of the bar. I had to be carried three bucks back to the apartment at 11 o'clock. This all happened before midnight on New Year's. Damn. Wow. I went to a bar, fucked it up. You were like the F5 in Twister. Just like that. Just then. Happy New Year. Goodbye. You ruined it for everyone because no one could pee for the rest of the night. It's true. And I was like, I miss New Year's. Damn. Norman, you fucked up. I fucked up good though. Yeah. And then I had some Taco Bell. Oh. Oh. Now you're speaking my language. Sherry. Sherry. Oh man, mine's not as awesome. It needs to be. Yeah. Norman should have gone last. I mean, Chris already fucked it without having no story whatsoever. So. Oh. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, sure you can't be as bad as that. Well, I have many drunk stories. I don't know if they're great or not to say. No. How old was I? Probably not legal to drink. But anyway, me and my best friend and my roommates, we had Everclear. Oh, loud. Oh, Lord. And they don't even sell it in most liquor stores because I don't, I forget what they do. It's like a bar. It's like a bar. I forget how many It's like 150 proof. Yeah, there you go. So the only thing I had that day was In-N-Out and so I poured half the Everclear, not half of it, but I should say a lot, into my lemonade and I was lights out. So pretty much I didn't knock out. What happened is I went to a party and I got really drunk. It hit me. And then I think I had three shots of tequila in addition to the Everclear. And there was a leak. I partied hard. Yeah. As you do. I'm just saying anybody, not you. I'm a lady. But I went to the restroom and I remember there was water dripping from the ceiling and I don't know how but I slipped in the water and I guess my logic was, oh no, my parents are wet. So I pulled off my pants. I thought you said parents. So did I. Your parents are wet. No, my pants. My pants. I pulled off my pants. They were chaperoning. And I walked out into a party with 50 people with no pants on. Get it, girl. This sounds like something from VeggieTales. It was like Black Dog was playing. I was probably out there twerking it or something before twerking existed. Um. Well, I'm telling you, this computer is self-aware. It is. That was not. I couldn't have planned that. I'm out playing African drumming too. Oh, Skydance racist. Racist. Anyway, so my friends look at me and they're like, oh my god, you have no pants on. And I was like, what? Like, completely oblivious. And then I guess I went back to my apartment and then I started seeing lights. That's how fucked up I was. And I ran into my closet and a Lysol bottle fell out and knocked me on my head. So I had a big knot for about two days. That's not the best story. You were seeing aliens. And lights. At the end of that. Yeah, that's how messed up I was. I think you were abducted. I probably was. There it is. And it ended right when I finished my story. Bravo. That was amazing. Finish it off. William's next. We'll hit the panel. William's still thinking. He doesn't want to know. He just wanted to ask us. He's like Kanye. I saw Kanye at the bowl. It was fucked up. Turn yourself up a little bit. Turn that up a little. I really don't have any, though. Good boy. I've only been 21 for like a year, so being drunk in public. Oh, you so good. I know what kind of stories you have instead. What's wrong with you? You're 21 now. Don't be like Chris. I get sleepy. Everyone has HV. Don't aspire to be that. Don't. Yeah, aspire to be these degenerates. You're better than that. You can be like us. I like to black out before 11. You can with the help of liquor. When you live like us, people laugh. Absolutely. Clearly. People enjoy their lives. All right, Carol, it's up to you now. Bring it home, girl. Honestly, I... Well, Sherry downplayed hers because she said, I don't really know if I had a good one, and I'd say that's a damn good one. I was about to say, honestly... Honestly? Honestly? No pants. Yeah. That's about it. But, no, I have to say, I was kind of a late bloomer because I didn't have a wild... My taste in college, as far as liquor, was wine coolers. Yeah, girl. Yeah, and I was like... Sugar. And I look now, and I go, how the hell... Maybe vodka cranberry, but I think that's about... Or Mike's Hard Lemonade, I think it was relatively new at the time. Oh, my God, I did the same thing. Like, the crap, you know? And so it's only been... Yes, yes. Zima. Zima. Did you put more vodka in his eye? No, no, just as is. I would have the Smyrna ice and poured the vodka in the Smyrna ice. Oh, you're messed up. Gross. Okay, so... So, literally, I would say in the past... I've probably had more alcohol in the past five years than I have in my entire life because now I like rum and good stuff, you know? Yeah, right. So, as far as the... I mean, I'm kind of lame that I can count on one hand, probably the amount of times I've been, like, really messed up drunk, but probably, like, maybe humorous one was we had gone to Vegas in May to see Crayola. I had two Buzzballs and hadn't eaten since we were on the way there. I don't know what a Buzzball is. Oh, were you not? Maybe you weren't. No. They look like a Christmas tree ornament. That was the comparison that was made. And it's... I don't... I don't know. I think it's just they make them with vodka and tequila. And it's got, like, fruit juice mixed in it. I don't know, eight ounces maybe or something. Wait, you didn't see or hear Cape 69? No. Oh, you need to because Norman drinks one on the show. Oh, God. That was the one we pre-recorded. Oh, you didn't? No, no, no. The first time they showed them was the Euronica read-off and you weren't here. Oh, yes, I missed the Euronica. Yeah, there was a... I think I had one or something. We're losing track of the amount of times Candace couldn't make it. But, um... But they're, like, 15% alcohol, whatever. We... Well, they're 15... For some reason, they have more alcohol in them in California. Yeah, if you buy them here, they're 20%. In Vegas, they were 15%. Yeah. 20%? I was like... I would be on the floor. So you had two of those. I had two and we... Can we say, like... Well, I just said buzz balls anyway. So we were on our way back to the hotel and it was... Okay, well, where were we gonna eat? And it went into an 800 degrees and I didn't know it was per topping. I thought it was like a blaze. It was, you know, 10 bucks, get whatever you want. I had, like, you know, a $21 or whatever it was. $23 pizza. So I'm saying that's a lame, drunk story, but I was just kind of... Wait, like a whole pizza? No, like, you know how you go to a blaze or a piece of red? The size of a Bilgerone? You know, when you go down the line and ask for toppings. Yeah, yeah. A $23 personal pizza. Topping was like a... Because I just... How many toppings did you... I think every damn vegetable on the line, you know? And all the cheese. Oh, yeah, give me some of that. That's amazing. Every... Because every topping was like $1.50. That's fantastic. So... So, yeah. She just went down the line and got them all. I mean, not everything, but pretty much all the veggies and a lot of cheese because she loves cheese. I mean, who doesn't, but... If you're gonna do it, do it. Yeah, she went all... True. And I enjoyed the hell out of it, so good for you. And who safely guarded her because he was stone cold sober? You. You're a handsome host. Shut the hell up. No one cares about you. That's a lame story. Wait a second. Stop it. Can I make the point... Can I make the point, and Sherry can back me up, Chris loves to encourage other people to drink because he wants to have the shit entertained out of him, but will not do it. When I was in college, we used to get... It never fails. I used to drink like eight or nine Smirnoff ice and then ride, you know, the plastic bins. I would ride the lid of plastic bins down the stairs and out the front door at my friend's house. That's nice. That was very Home Alone of you. It was very Home Alone of you. Right? That's pretty awesome. All of us are us in a bin, like fucking riding a bin down the stairs. Did you hear a dog bark? Yeah, it was the fucking sound. No, you know what? Can I just say, I'm honestly looking for a gunshot sound and I don't see one. Well, that's because you lost it on Norman earlier. He got shot after he said he put ice in his red wine. I didn't do it. I didn't even do it. I have no... I've been looking at my... She was like, no. Because how handy would that have been for all the shows we've done? If I had a gun, I would have used that gunshot sound and I'm looking for it and I'm like, I don't even see one on here. I feel like you would have abused that sound. I would have abused the fuck out of that and that would explain why this is broken now, but I've never used it because I've never seen that before. So I'm looking for it and I don't see it. I see cars skidding. I don't see crowd noise. That's kind of weird. There's another tab that says main soundboard. Is there more than one category? Sexy crowd cheer. Was that a monkey? Sexy crowd cheer. That was Chris. That's one of those ethnic... I'm telling you, I'm telling you, Skynet's racist. No, the sexy crowd cheer I've used a lot. It'll probably kick in. Let's keep talking. So it starts. I don't see a gunshot sound though. I'm honestly looking and I see nothing that is as good. There was one earlier. There we go. Okay, you have used that before. It's just the price is right. I know it should be. Woo! Woo! I mean, true! Poor Craig. Who the fuck it is? No, I'm honest. I'm looking for something that's a good... I see explosion and car crash and all this other stuff but I don't see a gunshot and I've honestly been looking for it. Just stop looking. All right. It'll come to you. There was one earlier. All night. Waiting for the right moment. The best part is that it's not there and it showed up anyway. All the more proof that this Mac is self-aware. That's right. I am afraid of no ghost. What? Yeah, you are. I am. You are. Scaredy cat. Well, well, what? Thanks, Skid Row. What? Thanks, Skid Row. It's been fun. It's been so fun. It has been the best. I'm going to miss it, so. As everyone who... Well, you've all been here. You all have any thoughts, anything? I mean, again, the show's not over. I just had a lot of thoughts. It's just we're not doing it here. That's it? For the last hour. I'm talking about with regard to being at the studio. Oh! Because it hit me when I came to do the... No, it doesn't matter now when you hear it, but the show I did last night which was with the... The... The... The... Lauren and April. And I only realized on the way here, I was like, wow, this is the last Monday I'm going to be coming here to do the show. The last Monday night. It was just kind of like, wow. It just hit me as I was driving here. Like, I'm not going to be doing this anymore. And then coming here tonight was, this is the last trip I'm making to Skid Row Studios to do the show. This is the last time I'm going to sit in the chair. So it's kind of, you know, just kicking in a little bit. Everybody was hella cool and we really appreciated all this stuff. I mean, except William until... He was fine until he said that thing about Kanye, but it's fine. Yeah. We'll have to bash him off the air because otherwise we're going against what we said we wouldn't do. But I was totally for, what was it, raisins and radishes? Yeah. This is how quickly he turned on me. And how quickly he turned on me. Appreciate you for that. Fine, you just made up for Kanye. That was his first night, wasn't it, I believe? His first night was when we were just running. He like walked in and he was like, hey, I'm William. And we were like, hey, we don't know what we're doing. And I was like, I don't either. So you bonded over... Awesome. Let's fuck some shit up. Jumped in with no net together. That was hilarious. Because yeah, when it was... I forget what number that is. What number episode it was. But yeah, raisins and radishes. I think it was 40 something. It was June. Or no, it was... No, August. Was it August? Oh, wow. It was way more recent. August 10th? I don't remember because Sherry and I were at the final show of the House of Blues, so that's why we weren't here. But yeah, I realized that. I think I sent you a message like an hour before. Oh, by the way, you haven't met the new engineer, William. He's going to be there tonight. So it's funny. It was his first night alone and the first night this show had any fill-in. Well, the only time at this studio that there's been a fill-in host. And it's so funny that the two of you were here. I think we just looked at him and we were like, I'll figure it out. Yeah, let's just... We'll just wing it. And he's like, cool, I'll just do this. And I was like, sounds great. And you're like, yeah, press buttons. I don't know. And I'm like, just do things. Like whatever. Turn the volume up or down whenever you want. I don't know. Yeah, it was great. That show was amazing. The cue to turn your mic on when you were just like... Yeah. That's what I did when we did the opening song. I was like, I'll just give you like, I wasn't like, you know, 34 seconds. I was like, I'll just like... A timid thumbs up. And he's looking at me and he was like, and I was like... That's how we did it. Shut it down. Shut it down. It's super technical. Yes, it was. But he handled it with grace. He was smooth. He was smooth. Very smooth. That's very impressive. He wouldn't have been here in June. So yeah, you're right. Like butter. Norman, do you have any thoughts? Do you have any things you want to say about our time here at the show? Your time here on the show as a regular because you only started coming on the show. This is going to be a rich... Do you have any thoughts about this place? Well, no. It's been... Every appearance you've had on this show has been at the studio. You're the one out of Norman, Cass, and John anyway who didn't have the experience of coming on this show before we were in the studio. Do you have anything? If you have nothing, that's okay too. Just curious. We're trying to pad the show runtime here. I don't know. It's a finale. It's been hell, I guess. Yeah? It's been just the worst. Yeah, because Norman's had to drive here every... Experience of my life. Oh, wait. When you pick me up, there are no drinks, no open door for me. It's awful. You're a fucking liar. I bought you that buzz ball. You bought me one buzz ball. You said, I want to try it, but I'm nervous. And I was like, all right, fine, you're getting one. No, I said, I want to try it. Buy it for me. And I did. So I bought you a drink. You should have bought me two. Now buy me a drink. I bought you a $19 martini on your birthday. That makes sense. Buddy's in the bank. Sorry. It's fine. Sherry and I are just going to have a karaoke session. You should. That's how it should always be. It's been a fun show. It's been a fun experience. Except for John being a dick with his mustache. Other than that, it's been awesome. John's not here. You want to shit talk John? Because he finally couldn't make it to a show? Dick. Yeah. Do you want to shit talk John? You're in love with him. That's the real question. That's true. No, I don't. Sherry, do you have thoughts? Do you have any thoughts? Do you have anything you want to say? I love you all. Oh, girl. Pandering. Aw. Aw. No, I... Who do you love more? Just say Norma. It's fine. Don't. Let's play fucking Carol. Can we play? All right. Because that's my girl. Shag Mary Kill. She already knows. What? Go. Oh, you want me to shed? Oh. Oh, what? Okay. Unless you didn't play the game who, Mary Fuck-El. Yeah. Between who? Yeah, there's four people to choose from, so you're out to eliminate one person. As you know, I think we should involve Willem. I keep on willing him, but it's Willem. Did you just make him British? Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. Willem. have a problem. That's how Norman interpreted your ethnic mustache. Because they think he looks like Freddie Mercury so you thought it was like British. Oh, you do have a little. I'm with the dude who died from AIDS. Well, you don't need to know. You're like, we're writing Rent Part 2. Burning his bridges now. Hey, Angel. You don't have to play. Well, you're going to have to pick. He's going to have to pick people or somebody's going to have to pick people for him because there need to be three people involved. That's right. What? He has to leave someone out. He has to leave two people out. Fine, so two people are friends. Go ahead. That's true. So the two people you leave out are like your best friends. Kill friend friend. Yeah. Out of you, five. Out of us, five. Don't laugh like that. He's like, you're going to be you. I'm going to kill everybody where I think the shotgun sound is coming from. Three. No one can. Yeah, out of us, five. Out of five. This spectacular lot of humans. I like Kanye sometimes. This is not like an advertising. Totally get it. Pitching. What I'm calling is listening right now. Chris for Shag, just out of respect for the host. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Now we're playing silly games. It's gross now. Okay, keep going. And then, wait, it was Mary. Fuck, marry, kill, friend, friend. So it's, I'm getting fucked. Thank you. Two people are getting fucked. I'll take it. I'm getting fucked, Chris. I'll take it. I'll marry Sherry because she likes Kanye West sometimes. Yes. And then. You're gullible. I'm dying. It's fine. I'm going to kill one of us. Do it. Pull the trigger. They've been mocking you. Norman mocks everybody, so. Raisins and radishes, so I feel like friend, friend. And then just. You're going to kill Carol? Wow. Just got it. With a slow jam in the back. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's going to kill me right. He's going to kill me right. He's going to kill you right. He would. I don't know you, Carol, so I'm going to murder you. He's going to seduce you. You're like, I'm going to kill you. Why has Kenny G just shown up? Because he's going to kill Carol. He said raisins and radishes, friend, friend. You're the best. Now you're the best. Yeah. Okay. My dad used to have an RX7. I don't know what that is. Tiny car. It's this little tiny sports car. And he used to listen to Kenny G in the car all the time. Really? That's legit. Yeah. The 90s was like, Kenny G was like on point. And like Christmas time, we listened to his Christmas album with his weird clarinet sax thing. Yeah, my family did that too. I'm like, what is this? I don't know, but I like it. What did car crashes end everything? I don't understand. No, that's the funny thing. That ended and my phone stopped because I'm playing Kenny G from my phone. Ghost. So I don't know what happened. That's bizarre. All right, Sherry's turn. What? Don't put me on that. No, yes, girl. You put us on, boy. On point, so. Do it, Sherry. Oh, I'll marry you all and fuck you to death and then. I'll take that. That's a very respectful answer. I like that. Thank you. Get it, girl. You're like a black widow and you're like, I'm going to get you all. Yeah. That's good. She played that shit like a long time ago that she was like, I got this. I like it. That's a perfect answer. That is the correct answer to the game. You win the car. Yay. All right, girl. Go ahead. More guy. No, she played. Carol played. She played. That's Norman's getaway car. Carol played. Last time? That's William speeding out of here because he went, yeah, you don't remember. You were probably drinking. Because I won the shag. I was sober. Was I sober that time? Yes. Yeah. I won the shag because we were talking about Fifty Shades. Yes. That's right. Fifty Shades. I can't remember if you died. Musical. I think he did. Did you kill Norman? I killed Norman because he was like, I killed Norman. I killed Norman because John had been killed twice so I married John. Oh, that's right. You did. I told you I didn't kill John. You did kill John, didn't you? No, I didn't. I had luck. Oh, you killed a ballo. Yeah, I killed a ballo. Married him. Yeah, of course. Oh, you married me, of course. And I fucked John. And you fucked John just to literally fuck with him. Which, hey, not hating. Well, you know what? I always screw that up because I remember him saying, oh, I guess I'm getting killed again. So for some reason in my head, I thought he got killed twice that night before I... Carol, you're a good soul. You married John out of pity. Instead of a pity fuck, what do you call it? A pity wed. That's fair. What's happening right now? Well, I guess that's it. Is this it? I guess we're done. Thank you, Skid Row. Thank you. I think we've discovered, though, that maybe the reason they're closing is because this place is haunted. Oh, shit. You know what? Could you imagine? Cuss, cuss, cuss, cuss, cuss. No, smooth it. There's been some stuff going on tonight. Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave. Eve, Eve, Eve. How many Halloween's away are we? Happy Halloween-y. Hey, guys, make good choices. Yeah. Or bad ones, whatever. In life. Can I do both? Can I, like, mix them up? Don't put Coke in your candy. Huh? Coca-Cola? Cocaine? Yeah. And give it to kids. Don't do that. I mean, if they pay for it, sure. What the fuck is this? Every time Halloween comes up, there's Christmas bells ringing, right? I thought we were about to do Mariah Carey, like... I was like, I'm not mad about it, but now I'm like, I'm into it. That's what it always ends with. Like, again. Okay, let's do this. It reminds me of that quote. What was that? Was that last week? What was that? Talking about God, Jesus. Yes. Yeah, that was last week. Yeah, that was you. No, that was... Well, it was a couple of weeks ago when people were hearing it, but yeah, pretty much. Guys, happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Enjoy yourselves. Enjoy yourselves. Be safe. Be safe. Don't drunk. Take your pants off at parties. Keep your pants off. On or off. Ooh. Whatever feels right. It depends on what kind of party it is. Yeah, get drunk, take your pants off. Just remember, yes means yes. Fuck shit up like Norman. Fuck places up like Norman did. That's it. That's lovely. Except for that one time. You fucked that toilet up pretty hard. And that was on YouTube. That's when they had it coming. True. True. You did. It's a piece of shit, so... Uh-oh. Oh, here we go with the fucking lesbian shit. We're just gonna call back to everything on every previous... ...episode of this show. Okay. Not really. I'm done. Hey. No, there is gonna be... I should say that around... Probably gonna be the week of Christmas. There will be a best of show, clip show put together. Can we play three games on that show? Well, no. It's gonna be a clip show. You don't listen to a thing I say. I try not to. Wow. Drown you out? Yeah, mute the shit out of his mic. Thank you. Oh, that's awesome. No, but it's gonna be... It's gonna be best of 2015. But it's obviously gonna be the Skid Row era because, you know, even though the next few weeks will certainly be funny just for the sake of consistency of sound and whatnot. And there are a lot of really funny and cool moments. So there will be a best of 2015 show coming your way in December. More on that, of course, follow the show on social media. And okay, no more songs and no more kind of goofing off and stuff. I do want to say something before we wrap up. Again, even though the show is continuing. Just to end on a little note. No, Chris. Because I was thinking... No, Chris. No, Chris. No, Chris. I'm gonna marry you. I'm not gonna cry. I'm gonna marry you all and... Ah, shit. Somebody said that already. All right. Because I was thinking about, oh, wow, it's been two years that I've known you guys. It kind of just dawned on me because it's... I mean, even though it's October and it's, you know, two years has passed. I didn't think about it at the time, but kind of sitting back thinking, oh, wow, I can't believe it's been that long. And it was kind of strange to think about. But from my own experience... And feel free to cut to the host cam while I get all serious. He's already... He's... He's live tweeting. He's just like, fuck these people. I'm so glad they're out of here. I'm just waiting for this asshole to finish so I can leave and never to see them again. Those are my thoughts. Wow. Wow. You... Well, now I am. You're the last one. I am. This is the last one. Across the line of aggression. I can't believe it. Oh. I can't believe it. The dogs are coming for you. I love you, Chris Abalo. I know you do. I love you. That's your thing. You wouldn't be here. So in... July of 2013, I went for a job interview and it was my first one in a long time, but that's another story for another day. And I was like, oh, this is cool. I hope I get this job because it'd be fun to work in something entertainment oriented and then heard nothing back from it immediately following the interview and then all of a sudden it became August and it was coming up on... At that point, it was just about six months since I legitimately moved back to California and got an apartment in my name. And hadn't been working, was still looking for work and had to, unfortunately, for August, ask my parents for a little help with the August rent and I was like, I'm running out of money. I don't have a job. I can't do this anymore. So if I don't have something by the end of this month, I'm just going to break my lease and head back home and start from zero at home because I was still more or less at zero, even though Cape had started at that point. I was like, I haven't... gotten any traction and I can't find it. You know, I don't know literally how I'm going to pay rent. So if I don't have something lined up by the end of August, that's that. So as it turns out, August 22nd, talk about the 11th hour, I get a call with an offer for that job that I interviewed for. And it was like, oh, okay. So I'm going to stay. And at that job, my second week is when I worked with and... technically for Norman and Candace. And then about a month later, I worked at that same... on that same show with John under Norman and Candace's supervision, if that's frightening enough, but just the same. And even though I was only working on that show for a brief couple of months beyond that, and then we didn't work together anymore, I still ended up meeting Sherry, having never worked a day with her. And Lauren, who's been on the show a bunch of times now and will continue to be. And also met Norman's roommate, Jessica Shalboy. And she's the one who, I forget exactly at what point, last year, as in 2014, was working on a show here, kind of co-producing a show at Skid Row Studios. And it was through her that I discovered the studio, came here, saw the studio, and I said, oh, that's it. That when I bring Kate back, it's going to be done at the studio, it's going to be a live show, this is going to be like the new format. And so all these things kind of came as a result of right at the tail end of when I said, okay, this is kind of going to be, you know, this is it. If I don't have a job in the month, that's it. And nine days before the month was over, I get a job that led to me meeting and befriending all of you and then finding out about this studio, having met you guys, and it's all come together. And obviously, we all attach, whatever meeting we want to, to whatever happens. But I looked at it or have looked at it for a while and still look at it today as at that time, it was the universe or infinite intelligence or whatever it is. It's saying, no, you're not done with this yet. You have to stay in California because you're not moving back home. And then all this stuff has happened as a result of me coming out here and getting a job. And you're also all, unfortunately, stuck with Carol too because you wouldn't have met her either. Yeah. But, but anyway, that's my little sob story about being out here and then meeting all you as a result and then it ultimately leading to being here at the studio and wrapping up. By the way, contrary to what I said two weeks ago, I found out we are not the last show to record here at Skid Row Studios. That's whack. Yeah, I know. There are two shows that are going to be here on the last day. So this actually isn't going to be the last show ever recorded here. It's going to be ours though, but the show carries on Mondays, every Monday for as long as I want to do it anyway. And as long as these people want to join in, and hey, it's going to be audio only until we land in a new studio. And even at that point, it may continue to be audio only. But if you all visit the sponsors and go to ChrisBall.com and click through the Amazon banner and bookmark that because Amazon gives the show a small commission on your purchases, which with the holidays coming up would be huge if when you shop Amazon and buy your gifts because you don't want to do with holiday crowds. If you use the Amazon banner, that would be huge. All that's going to go toward paying for time in the next studio. And it's like, hey, look, a bunch of people got together and said, we want a Veronica Mars movie and they funded it. So this is kind of the same thing. You want to see the show, you want to watch the show live or you want to watch it on video, even if it's pre-recorded, just support the show because everyone's on board to continue doing it and we will continue doing it. And it's just a matter of time before we're back in the studio and doing the video thing and hopefully the live streaming thing as well. So it's going to happen. But stick around because there's a lot more stuff coming. Stuff coming, different kind of videos, video content coming, some audio content coming your way. There's going to be a lot of fun stuff still coming from Team Cape. So yeah, in the meantime, if you want to know what's going on with everybody, you can follow Candice on Twitter and Instagram at LesShark26. You can follow Norman to any bars in the North Hollywood to lookalike area. That's creepy. Don't say that. You can follow Sherry on Twitter and Instagram at SherryBaby09. SherryBaby. And you can follow me at Chris Abalo on Twitter at ChrisSellsOut on Instagram and follow the show at CapePod on Twitter and Instagram and Tumblr. Subscribe on iTunes. Tell your friends. Seriously. That's how all this keeps going and we spread the word. So tell everybody, rate the show, subscribe to the show and tell people about it and follow the show on social media to be up to date on everything that's going on. And well, that's it, I guess. Thanks, Skid Row. That's all folks. Thanks, Skid Row. And I can say... Uh-oh. My mic's out. Now it's back. I can say with full confidence the show will be back next week and until then, for William, Carol, Sherry, Norman, and Candice and the absent John, this is Chris Abalo and this was yet another experiment. We'll be back. We'll be back.