Creative writing in prisons, Skid Row cats, and poetry performances

can look at you with with my hands what can i touch from what i see this life's a show put your best on it's time to perform and i can't get this off my brain i'm alone so alone this is spiritual i'm a miracle i'm the only thing understood in this stereo so let the flows and draw just each and all i do it when i'm in my song this is the calm by flying circus conrad hilton welcome to the corn rhyme report coming at you live from skid row studios may the peace and blessings of the life-giving creative spirit be upon you and upon your family my name is melvin ishmael johnson and i'm in the studio with my co-host earlene anthony and tyrone robinson this week we will be discussing the book brothers in pen six cubit feet with zoe mallory who is the creative writing teacher at san quentin prison and the in-studio special guest kishan also known as daily the um the mom abu musi that's the leader mom okay um welcome to the coon rhyme report thank you for having me yes now with us on the phone is zoe mallory she's a creative writing teacher at san quentin prison zoe welcome to the coon rhyme report thank you so much yeah look can you tell us a little about yourself and how you got off into teaching uh creative writing and how you got off into uh teaching uh creative writing and how you got off into uh teaching uh creative writing well um i've been teaching at san quentin for about 10 or 12 years and um i taught also for a few years in the the women's prison in stockton um starting in in the 90s like 97 or something but the way i got involved in teaching in prison is well first i was i was interested in being a writer i was studying creative writing at san francisco state and one of the projects that i did was i was studying creative writing at san francisco state and one of the projects that i did was i was studying and and and though and I only I only I only I only and through the William James Association in Santa Cruz. They used to put artists in every prison in California. Of course, they lost their funding a few years ago, so now there's just artists in a few prisons. But I've been working with them for, yeah, since the 90s. Now, before we get off into, you know, we got Keyshawn here in the studio. Keyshawn, you want to say hi to Zoe? Man, most definitely I want to say hi to you, Zoe. How you doing? Hey, Delita Moon. Most definitely. Good to have you on the other end of the line here. Man. Now, Zoe. Zoe's come a long way from up out of the penitentiary. See, I just got out of the penitentiary, and she was my creative writing teacher in the penitentiary. And before I got out, I'd done a one-man play for the class. That was fantastic. Fantastic. I put my heart into that. Because there was people in there that I really wanted to give my gift to. But what I want to say is Zoe has always given me her support. And that's one thing that we needed, or should I say I needed, but then the brothers around me, especially the brothers in the book need, is that outlet that she gave at that time. You know, she's really inspiring. And on top of being inspiring, she encourages, and she's able to allow us to be able to critique art. Projects. And at the same time, not hold no grudge against each other. She has a good atmosphere for a class to help us grow. And you're just wonderful. Thank you very much for what you've done for me, Zoe. Thank you, Delita Moan. It was great to have you in my class. Most definitely. Now, Zoe, can you explain, you know, when I was looking at your bio, I saw a very, very meaningful statement in there. Can you explain what you meant by creating, meaningful narratives as an essential human act? Well, I think that people think in stories. I think that we understand our lives by the stories that we tell ourselves or that we listen to. And so, you know, a lot of times stories just get put on us, and we believe them, and they're not true. And I think that learning how to tell stories, tell stories that are true, and by true, I don't necessarily mean that they had to happen, because I believe that fiction can be true. But what I mean is the truth of the heart, that it really is speaking about the human experience in a truthful way. So I really believe that, you know, if we learn to think, we do think in stories, but if we learn to understand the stories that we're living in, that we, you know, we're more participating in our lives in a fuller way. Now tell us, Zoe, how did the Brothers in Pen series of books begin? Well, we've been doing anthologies in my classes ever since I started teaching at the women's prison. We did a couple there, and we started doing them at San Quentin when I started there. But I think in around 2003, I think it was maybe, we were trying to... I think up a title, and the guys came up with this title, Brothers in Pen, you know, kind of a play on words for the penitentiary. And so everybody liked that title a lot, and we decided that we would keep it and do a series under that name. And so now we've... That one was, I think, maybe that was in... I guess it was in 2006 we did that one. And then we've done... We've just done three more since that one. Mm-hmm. So each one has a subtitle. That one was just called Brothers in Pen. Then we had Brothers in Pen, A Means of Escape, Brothers in Pen, Tragedy, Struggle, and Hope. And now the most recent one is Brothers in Pen, Six Cubic Feet. Mm-hmm. Which, yeah, six cubic feet being the amount of personal space that you're allowed to... You're issued by the state when you're in prison. So the amount of personal space here, all your property has to fit in. Mm-hmm. Now, I see in your bio that you worked at Delancey Street Rehab, a very famous organization. Can you talk a little about how creative writing is used in treatment and rehab? Well, Delancey Street has what they call the Delancey Street Academy. So everybody who's going through Delancey Street has to take classes there. And it's actually really cool, the way they do it, because they try and, you know, just give people a basic education, people who may have dropped out of high school or, you know, didn't complete their education. But a lot of what they try and do at Delancey Street is just try and stretch people's experiences. So a lot of times people would just get put in my class who never had written anything before, never even had written anything beyond their name, you know. And they'd come into my class. And they're supposed to write fiction in my class. So it was like a real stretching experience for them to try and think about stories that they would write. And it was really always a really exciting moment to see someone write their first story and read it out loud and get the experience of, you know, having people respond to it positively. And it just kind of opens you up and makes you feel like you have something to say. Mm-hmm. And, you know, and I think... It is a part of knowing yourself, which, of course, is a part of healing. Yes. Now, what advice can you give to Keyshawn to assist him in his artistic pursuit while he's out here? Well, I've already given him all the wisdom I have. But the main thing that I, you know, that I keep telling him when I talk to him is just to stay focused, you know, because it's so easy to get distracted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get distracted from what's important. And I think that's the problem for most of us is that we get distracted from what's really important and lose our way. And so I think to be a good writer or a good human being, you really got to stay focused on what's important. Mm-hmm. That's right. I'm in the studio with my two co-hosts, Tyrone Robinson and Earlene Anthony. And I'm going to say, do you have some questions for Zoe, starting with Earlene? I do. I do. Hi, Zoe. Hi. I'm Earlene. I want to know when are you going to come down and do a book sign-in? I would love to do that, but it's not me who should sign the books. I'm just the one who helped it come together. Right. Come down and do a little promotion on it. Yeah, it would be fun to do that. Okay. Hi, Zoe. Good evening. Hi. I'm an artist, and I can recall my time being incarcerated and that good feeling of being able to step outside after being down for so long. But my question is, you as a free person, to be able to come back and forth to and fro, what is that like for you? I mean, to be able to go work with the inmates and see and be able to do that, what is that like for you? To feel that every day and then to come home to whatever you come home to, a family or a home, that kind of thing. Can you relate some of that to us? Sure. That's a great question. Yeah, it always feels strange to me when I walk out. You know, I don't think about it so much when I go in, but after we have a really great class and then I walk out and, you know, the doors just swing open, the gates swing open for me, and I show my little pass and they let me out. You know, and then there I am on the outside. And I know that, you know, some of the guys in my class haven't been on the outside in, you know, more than 30 years. And it just feels really strange to have that freedom when people that I'm, you know, interacting with so intensely are not able to have that. And when I drive home, there's a sign that I always pass that's called the East End. It's the East Brother Light Station. It's a little sign for some historical marker or something called the East Brother Light Station. And I always drive past the East Brother Light Station and I always just have this feeling at that moment that, like, why am I free and all those guys aren't free? And I think of it as my East Brother Light Station moment because I always have it right around that point where I'm passing that place. It's just a really strange feeling. I, you know, feel like I have control of those gates and other people don't. Wow. Well, thank you very much for sharing. Yeah. Keyshawn, what question do you have for Zoe? What would wind down? Well, it's just a real simple question. It should be real easy to answer. That's good. As long as I stay focused, would you keep supporting me? Of course. Of course. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Keyshawn. Most definitely. What would you like to say to the other writers in the class, in Zoe's class? My whole mission was to be able to be their voices, to be able to recite their work, the work that they would never be able to recite in a free world, to the free world. And what I want to say to them is that they're not forgotten. And I haven't forgot what we talked about when I was there. And I still have the dream. And I'm still focused on being your voices. That's great. Keyshawn is doing a real interesting project because he's taking the stories of the men who are inside and he's talking about the stories of the men who are inside. And he's working them up so that he can perform them for people on the outside. So he's being like a bridge, a link, for people from the inside to the outside, which the book does that as well. But he's doing it in live performance, which I think sometimes really has the capacity to touch people in a different way. Beautiful. Because we're going to hear him later on in the program. Tyrone, you want to say something? Yeah, what I was going to say is that maybe we can hopefully make a segment in the future that Keyshawn can come and read some of these selected works from the inmates. And be sure to remember, they can listen to these recorded effigies. And you can download the shows. Yeah, that's fantastic. And you can play them during your classes. So for sure, let's try to get Keyshawn back on a regular basis. You know what is one thing about that, the download and the shows, that the security in a penitentiary is just so exclusive. It scrutinizes each and every little thing. By the time this gets through and get in, Zoe, what year would that be? About 2020. Really? Yeah. It's like that. But yet still, though, you're able to get emails. Yeah, we'll find a way. Yeah, we'll find a way. Most definitely. Now, okay. Thank you, Zoe. We hope to get a chance to work on a book signing down south here in Los Angeles. I would love to do that. Okay, thank you. All right. Zoe, Zoe Mulnery, the creative writing teacher at San Quentin State Prison. Keyshawn, let's talk a little about you and your writing and performing style. How did you get off into writing and performing? I was looking at a lot of time. And at that time, I started, I was rapping. And I couldn't feel it. And I started writing poetry. And I started writing poetry about my cases, about the case I was on. And then the judge had threatened me with 15 years. I started writing to her in poetry. And my lawyer used to read my pieces to her before I came into court. Mm-hmm. I lost the tribe. But she didn't give me the 15 years. She only gave me two. I wouldn't know if it was because of the pieces. The only thing I know is that I wrote them with all my heart. Mm-hmm. And I was dead in the wrong what I did. And you got two years instead of 15. I got two years instead of 15. And since that day, I've been writing and writing because I feel the poetry. Now, what's your... you like best, performing or writing? You consider yourself a writer first or a performer first, et cetera, like that? You know, it's a balance. I love to perform. I'm lazy when it comes to writing, but I love when a project comes together. What is your writing style? I mean, do you write from an outline? You write notes and then the segments come, little pieces come to you and then later on you put it together? I guess they're more spiritual than anything because all of the pieces that I try, I have an idea of what I want to write, it never ends out that way. How do you get it down on paper? Through performing. Okay, you perform it first, get it polished. I get it, well, I go over the line over and over and over again to see if I can see it in a way that I can feel it and that I can touch people with. And when I find that medium, I write it down. Okay, beautiful. Yeah, I think our audience is in for a treat tonight. You'll be performing two beautiful pieces here. Thank you, Keyshawn. All right then. And you know, Zoe Mallory, she should come down for a book signing because she's also their hands. We'll work something out. Yes, most definitely. You know, right now we've got a couple, a couple spots for that. We did a couple book signings already. We're going to do some more, and this is an important subject. Okay. Now, at this time, we're going to take a short break. Turn it over to Earlene Anthony for our community calendar. This is the community calendar for the month of May. On Thursdays from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., Melvin Ishmael Johnson will be conducting a free seven-day event. We'll be hosting a seven-week workshop. Actually, it's the Veterans Community Theater Workshop for men and women who are veterans. In the workshop, you will be taught how to mount a stage play and many other aspects of the theater. At the end of the seven weeks, there will be a dramatic performance of the play that they're currently working on now, Surviving the Nickel. Also, at the upcoming Arts Walk in June, the veterans will perform an excerpt from the play, and they will be performing a dramatic performance of the play that they're going to perform. And Melvin is also teaching on the Anti-Violent Situational Coping Group. Space is limited to 15, so if you're interested, please call Melvin as soon as possible. And the location is DeBoer Tech, 2341 East Olympic Boulevard. This is at the corner of Santa Fe and Olympic. And the Metro Bus No. 60, and also the 66th. Stop at the corner. And also, you can call Melvin at 213-479-1764. Sunday, May the 27th at 3 p.m., Drama Stage Kunran, the Sona Play Reading Series presents a stage play called Filthy Rags, written by Daryl Phillips. And we'll have more information later on in the month of May concerning this. The location will be the Exchange, 114 West 5th Street, and that's Los Angeles. And for more information, you can call 323-850-4436. And if you have a community event that you would like announced on our show, send the information to DramaStage1 at yahoo.com. Attention early and Anthony. And once again, our call-in number for the show is 800-525-7000. 893-9562. Now, back to our host. Hey, thank you, Earlene Anthony. Thank you. Now, at this time, we're going to our comic head section that's coming up. Oh, I only get to get my speech for speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech only though I only get speech And the cat said, hey sis, I'm going to have a word with you. And I said, oh, who, who, who, me? And the cat said, you see anybody else around? Okay, so I walked over to the cat and the cat said, you know who's this? I see you out there struggling to survive and I want to give you some advice. I'm like, oh man, you sound like a giant cat to me. Like, like you know what you're talking about. And the cat said, well, I ain't the one homeless and living in a box. Okay, okay. So then the cat ran off to say, you know, when they first took us out of the jungle, we ended up homeless, living in boxes. I was late at night going through trash cans looking for food. And we said, uh-uh, no, no, uh-uh, this ain't going to work. We got to come up with a game plan. Something simple. Something simple. Something practical. And now, we live in the best houses, we eat all the best food, and we watch all the best TV programs. So, here's my advice to you. Be nice to people. And eventually, they're going to be nice to you. Treat people right. And eventually, they're going to treat you right. And check this out. Try to have a positive attitude. Because the only place you're going to get with a negative attitude is where you're at right now. And that's nowhere. And remember this. You hardly ever see cats living on the street. And then, the cat was gone. The cat was gone. But I remembered something that he had said. You don't hardly ever see cats living on the street. And see, that's what I mean when I say the joke is on me. There's something wrong with a society that cares more about its animals than its fellow human being. And I hear you. I hear you. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. That was an excerpt from drama stage Nailheads performed by Miss Franchi Joy. Through the grace of God, I live just outside of downtown Los Angeles. No longer on the curb in front of the St. Francis Center. I walk to the radio station every week to do this broadcast. I'm picking up a copy of the downtown news has become a bit of a habit for me. A headline caught my eye. A Skid Row cat roundup. Two things came to mind. The monologue. You just heard. And an email address. Three cats in us. Skid Row has been a part of my life since I took the first snapshot of this part of town when I was 17 years old. I will be turning 53 next week. Once upon a time down on the nickel, I fell in love. And with that human relationship came with it a cat. His name was Abijah. A black Abyssinian cat. They used to guard temples, I learned. Abijah was a true Skid Row cat. He loved us. I came to understand that when he was a kid. He would when I would find his love offerings at the foot of the bed. Two rats or a rat or two. Later after we moved out of the church, we adopted two more strays. A Russian blue and a straggly mess of a black fur who we named little man. My guest tonight is an expert in terms of rescuing cats and on the phone is Mela Kaplan. The founder and executive director of the Santa Monica based voice for the animals. Evening Mela. Melia. Thank you so much. Hi. Hi. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Okay. Can you tell us briefly about your organization please? Yes. Voice for the animals is a non-profit animal protection organization and we have lots of different creative programs for helping animals and helping people and we have a 24-hour hotline where people can call and get any information to help any animal they like. We have a rescue and adoption program that's closer to what we're going to talk about with the Skid Row cat. We're going to talk about the Skid Row cats tonight where we take in animals, mostly cats and dogs from all over the city, a lot of them from foreclosures or abandonment and we find them new homes because they're wonderful little beings who deserve a second chance. And we have a helping friends program where when people don't have the money to keep their animals, maybe they need help with vet bills or food, we provide that also. We have feral cat programs in which we TNR, that's trapped, neuter, release cats to colonies. We have protected colonies all over the city. We have a working cats program at the Flower Mart where we put in feral cats. Feral cats are defined as cats who are unadoptable because either they were born in the wild and they're not used to humans or they were abandoned and they don't trust humans anymore. So we put many, many feral cats all over downtown, especially the Flower Mart, to act as rodent control instead of messing up our environment with poisons called exterminating methods. We use cats. So we have lots of different programs. People can go to our website and check them all out. Well, that's good. Thank you. How did you get involved with the cats at the church? How did that story all get started? Well, the pastor's wife, there was a church there called One at a Time Church. And the pastor's wife called us when they knew that they were losing their lease because she'd been feeding those cats for years and asked us if we would please take the cats out of there because the next people who were coming onto the property were not going to be cat lovers. So we said, of course. And we went down. In fact, that article you're referring to, Downtown News, I was the one who was there watching that strange bag. It was like a plastic bag with handle ties. And all of a sudden I looked down and it was moving. And I thought, oh, there's no wind. What's that? And when I picked it up, there was a one-day-old kitten with the handle ties wrapped around her neck and she was strangling to death. It was horrible. Right after that shot was taken, I asked my two assistants to put the cat out of the house. I asked my two assistants to pull up the boards and we started pulling up the boards where that cat was. And we took that day 23 kittens off the site. Wow. Yeah. And most of them have ringworm, eye mites. They have some challenges. They're going to be fine, but they need a lot of vet care. And we've taken 11 adults off the site also. Wow. Okay. And where are the cats now? Well, there are different foster homes. Mm-hmm. We're dedicating them and giving them vet care. And there's more work to be done. We've got to go back down there and get more cats. Our challenge now is fundraising. We're looking for funding, any amount, any of your listeners, $5, $10, anything to help these cats. They come with a lot of vet bills and none of them are sterilized, obviously. None of them are spayed, neutered, vaccinated, microchipped. So we have a lot of work to do before we get them adopted out, but we will get them all wonderful homes. Okay. So you get a majority of your funding from donations and the like? We do. That's where all of our funding comes from. It comes from the generosity of people who love animals and want to help. Fantastic. So Melvin or Earline, do you have any questions for our guests? Hi, this is Earline. Hi. I'm one of the co-hosts. Hi, Earline. How many cats do you have in your care at this time? And also, do you name them all? Yes and yes. Bless your heart. We have names for all the cats and all the kittens. Every time we take in a cat, we name every single one of them. And right now in our care, we probably have fostered out close to 70 cats. Wow. Yeah. When we took in the cats from Skid Row, that was a big increase in numbers for us. Wow. That's great. Yeah. And the kittens are just adorable. They're absolutely gorgeous. They are between... Well, we took some that are bottlers that were like maybe about four or five days old, and we're having them bottled. That's a special situation. And we're having them bottled. That's a special situation. And then the other kittens are between probably three to four weeks old, and they're just beginning... They're eating on their own and just absolutely gorgeous. And they will be shown at our adoption site every Sunday in the Palisades from 10 to 1 on Swarthmore and Sunset right at the mouth of the farmer's market. And they'll start being shown not this coming Sunday, but probably in two weeks. We got to get the ringworm under control and the iMites under control and get the kittens to eat a little bit better before we take them out and show them to the public. It sounds like you really know your stuff, iMites. We've been doing this a long time. I have one of our guests, Keyshawn, and he has a question for you. Sure. Yes. I would like to know has there ever been any cats that come into your care that is real so traumatized that you wouldn't allow anyone else to have that cat? And what would you do to prevent that? Well, I guess the first thing to do is to take care of the cats. And the second thing to do is to take care of the cats. And the third thing to do is to take care of the cats. And the fourth thing to do is to take care of the cats. And the fifth thing to do is to take care of the cats. But has there ever been any cats that come into your care that is real so traumatized that you wouldn't allow anyone else to have that cat? And what would you do with that cat? Well, actually, no, but I will tell you a funny story. One day, about a year ago, we got a call from this woman. She's a lawyer. I'm obviously not going to give a name. And she called us and said, you better get this cat out of my house because this cat's biting me and biting everybody, and I'm going to kill this cat. So I knew she was the problem immediately because that just was an insane response. So immediately I sent over one of our staff to pick up the cat, and the cat literally ran to our VFTA staffer. It was like that cat looked at her and said, get me away from this crazy woman. And the woman saw that. And she just, her mouth fell open. Oh, my God. So we've never had a cat that was so traumatized, ever, ever, ever. All animals have such open hearts. They're so pure in their love for everyone that if you just work with them a little bit, you can always bring an animal around. Well, all right. Thank you very much for the answer. Thank you, Mela. Any other questions? Yes. If someone wants to help with finding kittens home, donating, or volunteering their time, how can they get a hold of you? Well, two things. They can call our hotline at 310-392-5153, or they can go directly onto our website, which is VFTA, that's Voice for the Animals, VFTAfoundation, you've got to spell it out, .org, and all the information is right there. And we would love it. Volunteers. Volunteers, donations, help, anything, fosters, anything anybody can help us with. This is a big, big project that we sort of walked in backwards into, and we had no idea what we were getting into. And now we've got, you know, the adults, of course, are always harder to adopt out. Kittens, everybody wants kittens, so the kittens will go quickly. But we really could use any help that anybody would love to extend. And names. Anybody have some good names? Give them to us. Give them to us. Because we've got lots of cats. We've got lots of cats to name. Okay. Thank you, Mel. Yeah. You're welcome. Thank you all. Okay. I want to thank you for being on the air with us tonight. I grabbed your story because it was close to my own skid row experience. My friend and I, after we left the church, we lived together for four years. Those cats went everywhere with us, even in our grocery cart when we became homeless. The key word in Franchi's monologue is the word care. When we stopped caring for those cats, we stopped caring for ourselves and caring to live. Just like Melia and her organization, Caring for the Stray Cats, there are a number of service providers in the recovery zone that are helping to recover those of us who have strayed from society. Give us a call at Drama Stage, Coomera, and we'll put you in contact with agencies in the recovery zone making a difference. Our number is 323-850-4436 and leave a message. Now, back to our host. Okay. Thank you, Tyrone. Now, our last section for tonight is from the voices from the ether portion of the show. It all started 36 years ago. When I first began my business venture... Oh, that was a good start. Let's try something different. No? Oh, no, Mr. Bill. Anywho, if it's Monday night... And the hour is sliding into nine. Then you are listening to voices from the ether. In the background, we were supposed to have the Flying Circus playing. In front of me, I have Keyshawn Tate, the poet who is going to share with us tonight. You've heard about him in the first part of the show. Now, he's going to share some of his moments in the chemical romancing of Skid Row. His first piece is called Don't Ask Where I'm From. You see, Jackie walks the streets at night. In high heels on the verge of delivery. She lost her privilege to get married in white. Ever since the night them stones snatched her virginity. You see, I be sitting here on this crate burning cheap incense. I live in a small businessman fate. I sell pipes, lighters, outfits, and single cigarettes for 25 cents. From where I sit, I can see people jumping butt naked from out the windows. Because this shit make them think that they can soar. As their nappy hair shake against the wind. I blow. Screaming. I can't take this shit no more. Next door lives a woman with a baby. The baby cries all night and never stops. It's like he be asking somebody to save me. From my mama who's too busy smoking rocks. Please don't be asking me where I'm from if you don't want to go there. Because when I climbed from beneath that stone, I was up to my neck in filth and scum soaked. All the way down to my underwear. I'm from where rats chase cats and roaches have wings and people get beat with bats. I live in a small town. Live in the home of the full blown dope fiends. And this buildings have an eerie feeling. Street lights are broke. It's nothing but scandalous willing and dealing around here. Because people be walking around here with no hope. Either you can sink or you can swim. You still gonna hear the cackling and the laughing. To get the bread and butter, I must walk upon the limb. There are three figures in the dark alley. Jack and a cold cold scene when they commence the stabbing. This is when the grim reaper begins to sing. The curtains open slowly. The final act is dramatic. I mean the cat ran with all his heart and soul to get away from me. His heart and soul to get away from his madness. But no matter how hard and how long he ran. He still couldn't get away from his habit. Now that shit be dramatic. All right, Keyshawn. Don't ask where I'm from. You can find that video online, matter of fact. If you go to Google and you type in homeless I, all one word. Or you could type in DSQTV. You can also find a copy of the video there to see and experience it. Our next piece that Keyshawn is going to do is called Free Falling. Free Falling. Free Falling. Free Falling. It all started 24 years ago. When I first began my business venture. I only sold Brillo. And since I was in a place where cats puffed a lot of rock cocaine. My business was now a business. My business was never slow. But even though I was in a bad situation. And I was running full speed towards an uncertain destination. I still managed with great difficulty to keep my head just below the water. There's a strong chance that I would have missed a lot of this shit. If only I would have had a father to deal with. But see. The little black boy did not have one. My mama's only child was this. Was this. Bastard's son. But there's no need crying over spilled milk. So I sit here butt naked in this abstract life that I built. A little after I turned 16. My days began when the sun fell down. And I was surrounded by a lot of burnt bridges and potholes in the ground. I was the star in a movie entitled. It's a fucked up life. On my quest for precious stones. I have no home. I hustle alone. And it's hard for me to go to sleep. And then when I finally do manage to get to sleep. I wake up. To see my soul. In the corner. Of the room. On the edge. Of this seat. Vibrating to its heartbeat. You see the road that I chose to walk on was wrong. Innocence was completely edited up out of the scene. And birds are only able to sing sad songs. My insides are all messed up. From the many years of getting high. The only thing I can do. The only thing I'm living for right now. Is to finish. What's left. On this piece of brillo. Before I die. As. I. Am. Free falling. Full speed. Head first. Into the bottomless pit. There's been a lot of people trying to help me overcome this. But see. I'm beyond human aid. Only God can intervene between me and that next hit. I broke the promise that I gave to my mama, cousin, auntie, and uncle. I kept puffing dope until I lost all hope. And I was walking down the street on cavy feet. With everything that I own. In a bundle. How can I tell that I'm just another face at the bottom of the well well. Because my clothes are so filthy and nasty that they smell. And every time I hit a lick. I have another one of my everything must go sales. Behind the mask. Is a man who finds it a hell of a task. To stay sober. A close friend. A friend. A friend. A friend. I close my eyes. And see the bits. So vividly. Sometimes. I. Began. To. Pass. Gas. And. Get. Goose. Bumps. All. Over. As. I. Am. Free. Fall. Full. Speed. Head. First. Into. The. Bottom. of people tried to help me overcome this shit but see I'm beyond human aid only God can intervene between me and that next hit that's Keyshawn and you know what that's the only thing that's keeping me sober today is a higher power I'm the leader moan my name is Keyshawn they call me moan that's short for the leader moan the leader moan means one who steps from out of the darkness into the light ah day walker okay thank you thank you so much welcome what our listening audience really doesn't know is is that if it wasn't for Keyshawn I wouldn't be here today a lot of drama stage wouldn't be here today a lot of this started in dorm one at the midnight mission hey can you do websites and from from that point on it's drama stage has become a reality one step at a time and it's good to have Keyshawn moan back in the house in MOW in and you know what what it's so much struggle here in Kumran mm-hmm they're just to achieve each and every level is a blessing yes and it's in this in this in as well received you know at the beginning stages you would never imagine come on coming up and being able to bloom like how it's blooming and this is still in this infant stages mm-hmm you know Ishmael. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. put it down along with Lee, always by his side, you know. So, man, the downtown area, Skid Row, have a voice. Yes, yes it does. And it's powered from on top of this building. Okay. This week's shout-out goes to Dare to Care, a substance abuse program. They're looking for donations of food, clothing, and employment opportunities for women they serve. For more information about how you can help or mail donations to Dare to Care, 14325 South Figueroa Street, L.A., California, 90248, or you can call 310-515-5039. Let them know you heard about it here on the ether or through the ether. One of these days we're going to have those folks on the show. Thank you, folks, for listening. That concludes this week's installment of Voices from the Ether. Now back to our host. Our host, Melvin Ishmael Johnson. Yeah, thank you, Tyrone. And I just want to say, yeah, it was Keyshawn that introduced Tyrone to KUMRA, Drama Stage KUMRA. A couple things I want to talk about. Now we still got a little time. First of all, Keyshawn, what are you working on now? A one-man play called These Chains Too Tight. And the one-man play is a concert. It's a compilation of a lot of different pieces, more of like a collage of different people who helped me, who are in the penitentiary, who would never be getting out. Lifers. Lifers. And this piece is inspiring to me because I'm able to carry something. Like Zoe says, she doesn't feel nothing when she's coming in, when she comes out. And I felt that same type of feeling, too. There's people there that I really attach to, that I will never be seeing again. You know what? People change. People change, you know. At the very beginning, they was one person. But to sit back and do time and go to school and see people go in and go out and go through experiences, people began to wisen up. And they look at world a different way. It's people in there who's doing life, who can be more of an asset out here to the free world. Because what they do, they carry the knowledge of being in the penitentiary. And they can touch more of these youngsters than a lot of people who have never been in that type of position before. Because these youngsters think that going to the penitentiary is glamorous. They don't realize that after they spend so much time in a penitentiary, all their good life is gone. And that's what a lot of these lifers can be able to talk to the people about and be able to expose the world to a different view of people coming out the penitentiary. Because they truly harness the type of knowledge or the type of understanding that can bring a lot of us, these bad communities, up out of the situation that they're in. Now, let me ask this question, you know, like a roundtable discussion. Because I want Tyrone and both Earlene to get off into this too. What do you think is the main reason that caused a person to relapse that's been clean over a period of time? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God. I'm a chronic relapser. I'm a chronic relapser. As a matter of fact, I stay sober past tonight. I'm a miracle. Mm-hmm. You know. Now, but let me ask you this. But what you said. Yes. But what you said is it all depends on a person's mindset. You know. I can't. I don't. Higher power. I'm just going to say higher power has a lot to do with it because a person has to believe in somebody bigger than them in order for them to follow some type of moral understanding the way things are. Mm-hmm. You know. And that drugs and alcohol. Should I say. My thing is rock cocaine has took me out of the game and out of the picture time and time again. Mm-hmm. And by me. Understanding that there's a higher power and then by me doing anything with rock cocaine is not anything conducive to me being successful or enhancing my spiritual growth. I stay away from it right now. Just for today. How important is a significant other in a person's life? You know. Someone that they care about more than they care about themselves. In terms of keeping them from relapse. Well, you know. It's a saying in the rooms that a relationship help you do two things. It'll make you relapse or to help you find God. Mm-hmm. Because it's the things that entitles in a relationship. Sometimes individuals who are early recovery can't handle them type of things. That's what caused them to go out and use again. Next thing you know, they're out there and they relapse. So I wouldn't say a significant other. I would say maybe more like of a sponsor. Somebody who is on the same. The same. Gender is dim. Who has some life experience. Who's able. Who's already been through what they've been through. Like if they got out the penitentiary. Their sponsor got out the penitentiary. And his sponsor has been out there and living a couple of years. He can be able to follow his lead better than a significant other. Mm-hmm. I remember a couple months ago we had the program director of the Midnight Mission here. And he said something so significant. Mm-hmm. He was out there suffering. He was an addict. You know. Been homeless. Living out on the benches. And he looked up one morning. He was by himself. Looked up one morning and he saw a lady walking with a little boy about six or seven years old. And the picture reminded him of his little boy. And that was the key point, you know, that started him on the road to recovery. He started thinking about his son and how he wanted to be with his son and et cetera like that. What do you think, Tom, in terms of... Well, you know, the thing that I'll go along with it too that Ramon and I both suffer from, cocaine, crack cocaine especially, it's a romance. In my opinion, my feelings, it's a romance that you have to kick. The crack is the significant other. It makes you feel good. It makes you feel bad. It does everything that a real relationship can do. But what you have to learn how to... What you have to do is come to break up with that significant other. You have to find other sources of good feelings in life, you know. And a lot of programs, they help you to do that. Some of the programs down here, they help you to get out of the skid row area, out of the environment. Because a lot of facilities down here just keep you away from the temptations. They just warehouse you, you know. And you're just one step away from going back to where you came from. And what I've found to be the best thing for me to look at on a daily basis is that it's not me keeping me sober. For real, it's not. It's not me, man, because... Because I don't do this. Because I don't do this. I don't stay sober. This is not normal for me to sit here and do a radio show, okay? This is not normal behavior. But, yeah, they were right when they said romancing is stone because that's what this whole addiction has been for me in my life, you know. Okay. Yeah. You want to say something, Marlene? Wow. I've talked to a lot of people about their addiction, you know, how they got started, a lot of things. And I've never had an addiction like this. I've never had an addiction like this. But when Keyshawn was up, he gave himself and a lot of other people the key. The only one can help you is God. And for a human being, it's not easy to give up and give over to God. But you have the key. You just have to use it. Okay. Okay. Now, Keyshawn. We got the last. I'm going to give you a minute before I wind down and close it. I'm going to give you a minute to your final comments. My final. Holler out at Zoe, some of the people, whatever you want to say. First shout-outs to my little boy. Mm-hmm. You know, I finally got opportunity. I just got out January 20th. And I finally got opportunity to spend a lot of time with my son. You know, he only four years old. He don't understand that this is a shout-out. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that little cat is, I love him to death. And, you know, I also got to give it up towards his mama, who's been taking care of him while I've been gone. And I most definitely had to give a shout-out for my mama, who's been sitting time after time looking at me through the glass, you know, writing them letters to me, you know, encouraging me. You know, out of all of the times I done broke her heart, she still stood there by my side, you know, for believing in me, you know, when nobody else believed in me. Also, my cousin, who allowed me the opportunity to have an opportunity. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Keyshawn. So happy to have you in the studio. Now, our condolences to the family of T.A. Washington, who passed away over a week ago. We just call him Brother Washington. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He was an intricate part of OG and services and three-on-three basketball. Brother Washington, rest in peace. And a shout-out to my niece, Kendra Johnson, who just graduated from Cheney University of Pennsylvania last week. Kendra, a job well done. Now, I would like to extend a special thanks to our in-studio guest, Keyshawn Tate, and on the line with Zoe Mallory, the creative writing teacher, at San Quentin Prison, and a special thanks to Jeremy, Sonia, and the Skid Row Studio. Don't forget our cat friends. Now, you can check out our past shows of the Coombram Report on iTunes, Facebook, Twitter, skidrow.la, or www.dramastage-coombram.org. Thank you for tuning in to the Coombram Report, and I'll leave you with a song that opened the show. This is the calm. I'm flying circles. Oh, Conrad Milton In the sun, I pray Conrad Milton Sun, I pray From what I see This life's a show Oh, put your best on It's time to perform. And I can't get this off my mind. I'm alone. So alone. This is spiritual. I'm a miracle. I'm the only thing understood in the stereo. So let the flows and draw. Just let it go. I do it so alone. When I'm in my zone. I'm all alone. Listen to the boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. In the back of the trunk. Ready with your way. You see I'm ascending. Yeah. Welcome to Love Bite. Bye. I only get nice memories.