Topic-free kink discussion with Andrew, Melissa, and Chewy/Dave

Wow. Hey, welcome to Intellectual Kink, where Nancy is now giving instructions to our guests on how to use the mic and the headphones. I don't know. Maybe we could have done it during the five minutes we were sitting in the studio chit-chatting about your glasses. I'm sorry. I wasn't chit-chatting about, Andrew was chit-chatting about my glasses. I was not. I was complimenting her. So he was having a monologue about your glasses and you weren't participating at all. In all fairness, I mean. Is this a soliloquy? A microphone is a, it's a technology we're all used to. I mean, the idea that, oh, speak into the microphone. I don't know. I hadn't thought through that. You asked about movies. So. And, and by the way, I'd just like to comment that you from under the bus, Nancy, is amazing right now. Touche. Thank you. No. No. Hey, hi. Hey. Hey, hi. Who are you? I'm Insidious Muse. I'm Service Slut. And we have people. We have people and we don't even care that we don't have a topic. We really don't. We like them. It'll appear. We have people, people we've had on before, such as the lovely Melissa. She looks extra lovely tonight. Let me just tell you. She always does. She always, although. She had those boots. Hmm. I don't know if she was wearing that other night. Like mother. Hot mother. Fuck. Fucking damn. Did she look hot. Like. Sorry. Damn. Wait, when, when you're, you're talking about the gold, the gold heeled boots. The gold heeled boots. Yes. And then she had that like latex, like prison guard shirt. You guys don't even fucking know, dude. Yeah. That is. Seriously. Yeah. She's known to reach for your rights. And she has a body that just doesn't stop. It's true. Latex prison guard. But that's enough about her. It actually, it actually does stop. I don't own that. I don't own that. I don't own that. I don't own that. It's inhibited by its skin. I'm imagining a guard for a latex prison. And that's working. That would be awesome. And then we have Andrew's been on before. Both saw I met Melissa. Like eight times. A new person who's never been on our show before. Yay. Who I think is going to be quite the wild card of the evening, if I may say so. Chewy. Wow. Welcome. Is it Chewy you would like us to call you? Yeah. Chewy, Dave. You tell us. I'm easy. All right. Like Sunday morning? Yes. Wasn't a trick question. Well, I'm trying to think like what was going on Saturday night. I think that really informs the analogy. It was a song. It was a Lionel Richie song. Song. What? Song. Maybe if you hummed a few bars. Oh, fuck. I'm not. I'm not singing easy like Sunday morning. Or just sang it? Swam easy. Easy like Sunday morning. Everybody knows Lionel Richie. Come on. I have gotten what I came here for. I'm not the one who's happy with how this is going right now. Dave just dropped a mic and walked out. He can't do that. I told you he'd be the wild card. No, because they're mounted on here. Outside of the fact that Jeremy would be really fucking pissed if you did. Yeah. Who's Jeremy? Jeremy's the boss dude. He's the boss. He's the boss. Don't break the microphone. He's Tony Danza. Don't piss off Jeremy. Oh, no, no. Sorry, Jeremy, if you're listening, I respect your authority. Your authority. I have no interest in dropping any object in this show. I'm not the one who's pissed off. I'm not the one who's pissed off. In this area. Like it's hot. Like it's hot. Drop it low. Is that also Lionel Richie? Yes. Yes. Everything. It's all, we're all doing Lionel Richie songs tonight. That's all Commodores all the time. The theme is Lionel Richie. Dancing on the ceiling. Is it hot? Is it me you're looking for? Although, if we can spin that into something BDSM related, yes, that should be part of a scene now. A scene of Lionel Richie. Lionel Richie songs. Yes. Oh, I thought we were just dropping things like they were hot as the scene. Can I just perm your hair as a scene? Ooh, that is cool. We're going to shave it off so we could perm it first. Yeah, you can perm it and then I'm going to shave it. But I don't really, I'm not that excited about that. You're not excited about which the perming or the shaving? The perming. I've had that and it's not a good thing. It's the smell. It's actually fairly offensive. It's gross. I mean, we need to have a discussion about making the shaving sexy. Yes. We do. We do. That's a plan that needs to happen. How can you avoid it? I think that there's oiling of the head after. I mean, making it sexy for her. Yeah. The shaving is going to be sexy for me. He's super excited about the shaving. That's going to be okay for me. Okay. You're not worried. No. About what you get out of it. We'll be fine. That's your Lionel Richie song. Like, that's what you came here for, is the head shaving. Sure. And then. I mean, not now. In the future. Respectfully drop the mic. Yes. In the future. We have a couple months, though. To hash out those details. We do. We really do. Yeah. You want to do it now? See, because all I can think about when I hear shaving is humiliation. Is that weird? It's not. Right, but no, but that's what you're into. She's way not into humiliation either, so. Yeah. See. So the question becomes, does it become like a, like are we performing to make people think something or is it? I don't know. That's an option. What's the intent of having this scene? I like to, I have a genuine interest in shaving a woman's head. I think it's beyond interest. I think. I think. I would say it's beyond, it's surpassed interest. That, that, that connotes a very mild. It's just like, yeah. It's not offhand. Is that what you're saying? I think a woman, I think a woman who can pull off a shaved head is very attractive. All right. And I've, we've, we've had a friend who is on multiple occasions and for, for a pretty significant regular amount of time, came and I would shave her head and we, you know, we would talk, it would be kind of like, you know, you would with a bartender or a barber, you'd have like a little chat and I'd shave her head and I always enjoyed it. She was an attractive young lady. And a couple of months ago we were coming out of the, and you can tell how much I'm into it because I've noted exactly when it happened. We were coming up the escalator out of the Pershing Square Metro stop. And Melissa sort of just looks at me and goes, yeah, I've been thinking about it and I think I'm okay with you. I'm like, really? Andrew does a little jig in his head. And she's like, yeah, you know, I think that, I mean, you're going to have to give me a couple of months. I kind of want to wait. I want to wait until it's spring. So it'll be a little warmer on my wee noggin once everything's shaved. And, and I want to take that time to grow out my hair. And here's where I give a plus one to Melissa. I want to take the time to grow out my hair so I can donate it to Locks of Love once you've shaved it. Super sweet. That is super sweet. Super sweet. So I think I'm okay with that. And I'm just like, ooh. Well, then if I'm going to shave her head, then there's the possibilities of like, how is that going to happen? Because it needs to be. But there are more rules to it than that. More reasoning behind the delay as well. Go ahead. Because he, Andrew has imposed rules on himself for his, I guess it's in general, but specifically tied to, tied to his rope. Breaking everything. Right. After we just explicitly said. I am not going to be invited back, am I? Don't break everything. Not without rope. Oh, I bet somebody else's rope here. Yeah. So, so Andrew has set himself some rules having to do with his rope work. And one of them is that he will not take photographs. And that was for a one year period, which I believe ends in early April. Correct. Correct. So I wanted to wait until after that. So they're going to wait. So I had elapsed so that there can be photographs of the experience of him shaving my head. So it's going to be, so in that instance, it's going to be tied up and head shaved. Yeah. Why have, why did you take a, why did you not want pictures taken of anything you did for a year? So this is, this is an interesting conversation. Good thing we're having it on the radio. Dude. Yeah. So I'm, I'm, I'm, I mean, as I've appeared on the show previously, I'm, I'm a rope guy. And I think that there's a lot of, uh, that goes into the public rope community now that's based on performance or photography and performance and photography inherently is about the audience that is viewing it. And it isn't necessarily about the two people that are performing it. One of the things that I like a lot about rope is for me, it is a, I guess the best comparison that I can make is, is it's a magic trick for one person and the person is the person that I'm tying. Um, and. Yeah. To think beyond that, to think about what it will look like for somebody taking a photo or what it will look like for somebody that's watching me conduct my scene takes away from my focus on the person that I'm tying. So for me to focus on that portion of what I was learning at the time, I decided to take one year in which I would not do that and specifically only focus on the partner that I was tying. But I mean, isn't this a limited vision of what photography can do? I mean, would you have objected if, if say I had take, if you, if you had a partner that you guys were having a scene and I was there and I had taken photos of it. Oh, okay. We've actually had, I know there's a photo that's up on Melissa's profile right now that somebody was, we were at a party and there was a photographer that was at a party. And he asked if he could take a picture. He asked if he could take a picture. No, I don't have a problem with that. Okay. So this is very much about not intending to take a photo. Yes. Okay. It's not about, um, I'm not creating rope to take a photo. I'm not creating a rope to be part of a performance. I'm creating rope to have a communication with my partner. That sounds a lot like the, like the person. The person who is out or on a trip or whatever, and they spend the entire time like updating their Facebook status as opposed to just living the moment. It's every, it's, it's every jerk that spends the entire concert holding up their phone, videotaping the concert instead of watching the artist that's performing in front of them. iPad. It's holding up the iPad. Oh Jesus. You are obnoxious. I hate that. I don't know. I have to object more to the person who has the fake lighter on their iPhone. That would be my biggest pet peeve. Agreed. So, um, so then it's just figuring out, you know, we're going to do photographs and shave her head and there's going to be some rope bondage and it's going to be awesome. So, you know, you just got to figure that out sort of from here. And then it's kind of like, you know, it's, it's, am I just going to take the clippers out and shave her head? Are we just going to go like, you know, razor and just like clip it all the way down to the skin? Am I going to go straight razor all the way down? I mean, there's so many options. Call me crazy, but this sounds so romantic. It really does. No. It's a really. It sounds like a really intimate experience. And her gesture of being like, hey, there's this thing that I know that you really like. It's kind of a little, I mean, I would consider it even wacky and in my perception of me liking it and going like, hey, I've thought about this thing that you think is really wacky. I'm going to do that thing for you. That's really fucking awesome. That's really awesome. And, you know, as we approach Valentine's Day, I take it as a very romantic gesture. Oh. Yeah. Super fucking sweet. Well, I mean, it is intimate. That's why it's interesting that you would choose to share this because it is very, very intimate. I mean. This isn't going to be the first thing that you photograph, right? It might be. Oh, I mean. You don't know. It might be the first thing that I photograph. All right. Maybe. Well, are you planning to photograph it or are you going to have someone there taking photos? I've been mulling that over in my head. I've been thinking about getting somebody. I mean, photographers out there. Yeah. If you're interested in working on this quote unquote project, I mean, I'm interested to hear from you. I am using one. Using podcast for the greater good. Well, already you're internet famous for many things via podcast. Let's not stretch my fame. Come on. Beyond. Oh, yeah. What was it? Like three, four people? Hey, hey. Wanting to know how to do a rope bomb scavenger hunt? Hey, well, hey. Leave that alone. There's one going on right now, isn't there? I believe there is. I saw a picture. Oh, the one up in San Francisco? Sure. Maybe. Could be. I don't know. He knows more than I do. You have such conviction there. Absa maybe. So, I know about, you know, the spectrum where both Andrew and Melissa lie. I don't know where. No. You are such a mystery. I don't know if there's a spectrum. I think David's the outlier. The chew toy of beards that is David. What? That was really good. That was solid. By the way, your facial hair is so nicely groomed. I just wanted to compliment you on that. Thank you. I would like to credit my utter lack of testosterone by which this is not shaving or doing anything to this for a period of, I would say, conservatively nine months, which has allowed me to grow the beard that most 16-year-old boys can grow. So, I'm pretty proud of that. Yes. No. Solid work. Thank you. No, thank you. I'm glad it comes off that way. This is coming about purely because of laziness. I just, I had not shaved for three months and I thought, I don't know where the sidewalk ends. This is going to be a magic journey. Just going to ZZ Top it, go all the way? I don't know if I can go past this. This may be it. Like, I'm imagining that. I'm sorry. I don't really know how hair happens. So, I'm just imagining that whatever like elves or gerbils are in my face creating hair and pushing them out are exhausted to the point where they're just dead or asleep. They're resting. Or resting. They might be hibernating. I think that they might be mammals. I don't really know how this works. I really don't know how this works. I can't get past the gerbils and elves in his face. Are they hibernating in your mouth? It's kind of like a cave. I think it's moister than the average cave. Well, maybe they're special mouth gerbils and elves. Seems likely. That seems... And now that you bring this up, I mean, of course, why would I think that there are gerbils and elves that are face specific, but they're the same ones in the mouth? It seems obvious. I'm sorry, but to extrapolate out your point, if your facial hair is from gerbil or mouth elves, then all other hair must be from these special elves. So, then are there then, you know... Vagina and testicle hair elves? Are there then arm hair elves? Leg hair elves? There's actually been an ongoing war. I'm going to posit the pubic hair is orcs. Orcs. And that head hair is dwarves. What about the gremlins? Where do they live? Can there be hobbits somewhere? Butt crack. No. No, no. The ass is not the shire. It's got to be the toes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's the toes. It's got to be the toes. I think that the toe knuckle hairs are the hobbits. We're totally getting off of our semi-topic. We don't have a topic. This is really working. Guess. I mean, I'd like... I'm super curious what people would say who don't know. I mean, I have my perception of you, but... It's wrong. It's way wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I look at you and I think, okay, well... Douchebag. No. I think... Four words. Hipster. Male dom. Head leather. I think two of those... Wow, Jesus. Two of those apply. No. No. I think... I think just intellectual kinkster. It's the glasses, isn't it? No. It's the way that you express yourself. With elves? I can see how the previous conversation, if you listen to it, you would think like, this guy, clearly a mastermind. Got it. Any guesses? I'm going with bottom. Bottom? Wow. I came out as a bottom, actually, years and years ago. Because bottoms have way more fun. I wouldn't say submissive, though. Yes. I've been a boy for some years. I mean, not currently, but there were several years that I was a boy to a daddy. And I am terrible at it. I mean, just really... Right? Really poor at it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The kind that would make a D-type question themselves. Yeah. I don't... I'd like to think I wasn't harmful to my daddy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Judgey judge. Wow. Dave shaming. Where does this... Wow. Where does that come from? This is taking a fantastic turn. Dave shaming. D-type here. Yeah, no. Please, expand on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wolf. But... A poorly behaved submissive really makes you question you as a dominant. Because you think, if I were a better dominant, they would be a better behaved submissive. I don't see Dave as being poorly behaved. He doesn't really behave. I don't know. I just think he's not good at it. He just said he was awful at it. What? I was awful at it, but I wasn't obstreperous. I mean, I was trying to be... Obstreperous? First fucking time that's been used on this goddamn show. Boom. Dropping knowledge. Maybe it's worse than those that make her think that you're... I'm sticking with the armpit goblins. No, no, no. I always tried to be sort of the best boy I could, but it wasn't something that came as naturally as I wanted it to. So... Is that why things came to an end? So... Then... Not really. No. Would you care to define what you are at this time? Yeah, yeah. No, no. So, I mean, when I... You've given up on guessing then? I gave my guess. It's not that... I gave my guess. It's not a long game. Sort of... I identify as queer. I mean, most of my partners tend to be female for a variety of sort of historical and idiosyncratic reasons, but I had a fairly wide variety of partners before. So, queer. I came out in the leather community. And I would say I sort of still identify as leather. And I do primarily top. I would say, I mean, on FetLife, I think it says top because, like, Dom just seems weird as an identity. Hey, I've tied you. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I mean, this is just what ends up happening. Dave, Dave. No, I will say, I think it's very weird that sort of on FetLife when we talk about things, we talk about the ways we identify rather than the things we do. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. I think that that's really, for me, that doesn't resonate at all because I don't feel like I've changed that radically over the time that I've had kinky sex as a person. Like, I wouldn't say my identity has changed, but the activities I participate in have changed really radically. And the sort of where I position myself and the sort of, yeah, the sort of activities that I participate. And so, it's always, like, I think it's very weird that we think of this in terms of, what are you, rather than what do you do? I really, you know, like, there are people who I dominate. Right. There are people who I top. There are people who I bottom to. And it's all activities that I do with particular people, particular times, and particular moods rather than anything about just myself. The idea that any of this is just about me or an expression of myself, it seems like it doesn't allow the connection to other people. But it is about you because otherwise you wouldn't be used to it. So, you don't top yourself while you're masturbating? No, no. Because that's entirely what I do. I'm the most boring masturbator on earth. You just, you really blew my mind with that. I don't. Okay. Let's get to your masturbation in a moment because I'd like to discuss what you said. No, no, no. It's boring. I mean, yeah. So, what you said, I think there's two points. Number one, human beings like labels. We like labels because it makes our life easier to have somebody else with a label. Sure. It makes our life easier. But number two, I've had this concept that, you know, Kinsey's scale of, you know, heterosexual and homosexuality. I believe that there's a kink scale, but I think it's a sliding scale. And it changes based on the people that we're with, based on our mood, based on our phase of life. And it just changes. We evolve. We ebb and flow. That's what human beings do. And so, I think that what you're speaking to is kind of that. How you kind of swing around and not that you're a swinger. I mean, you could be, but it's cool. But that you swing around and go from, oh, okay, so I'll bottom to you for this because that's something that I want to do. And I'll top this because that's something I want to do, but not necessarily bound to those specific titles that we so love. Yeah, I think that's right. I mean, I think for... Frequently, people say like, oh, I'm beyond labels. I would not say that. Lister. Dave is hedonism bot. If it gets Dave's naughty bits tingly, Dave's into it. Is that not... You say that as if it's unusual. No. Do other people do different things? No, I just mean it's the... If you get to the chase, it's the simplest way to put it. But a lot of people don't put it in those terms. They make it more complicated than it actually is. And I think that also people have phases of things that they're working on or that they're doing. And so, oh, right now, you're a rope guy. Maybe in two years, you'll be a whip guy. And those will be different phases. Don't tell me what I'm going to do. No, no, no, whip guy. It was maybe. No, it's not maybe. It's whip guy. You were right. The point being that... It's more of a... It's more of a... It's more of a... It's more of a... We go through these phases where we focus on certain areas. And that's... Okay, so that's who we are at that time. And when someone gets to know you, it's like, oh, forever and ever, for as long as I know you, Andrew, you'll be the rope guy, even though you may not be a rope guy. You know what I'm saying? Because that's how it was when I met you. And that, you know, it'll be the same situation. You know, you'll know Nancy as the service girl, but maybe one day she's a pain slut. You never know. It could happen. So I'm just, you know... Yeah, but I just know her as Nancy. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. You know her. I know her shell. I know her shell fist you. Because that's what she's... But that's... I mean, that's just because she's in my phone is shell fist you. That's right. Exactly. What if one day she decides she doesn't want to fist anybody? That's not... Right? And that will be a phase of her life. It would shock the shit out of me, but it could happen. You know what's so funny? Her hands could hit a growth spurt. You don't even know. I was totally just... Matt, well, I was totally just thinking like, I think I kind of want to fist Melissa, but I don't know if she'd like be okay with that or like, you know, would that be weird? Are we allowed to vote? I think... Is this a democratic process? Well, you know, Melissa, I'm pretty sure it's not. Is this a republic? Actually, I'm pretty sure she has the say. I do get final veto on things that go in my vagina. Turns out. When you put it that way, this has been the biggest obstacle in our relationship. Goddamn women, and they're choosing what goes in their vaginas. Right. He actually gets no say in what goes up his ass, because I don't ask him first. Woo. Woo. I'll put my fist up there too. Whoa, hey now. See, she'll fist you. I know. How big are your hands? Very small. They're very small. They're very small. It's very reasonable. Yeah. Yeah. I think you should do this. There's the doorbell for you to ring. Oh, trust. There is a doorbell. Did you remember the milking class? There's a doorbell in there. Inside. Okay. Okay. Catch. You gotta beep, beep, beep. Hey, and guess what? Guess what? She said that whoever I have my fist in, I don't need permission to hug them. I can just hug them all willy nilly. Wait, all your fisting? I would think basic physics would make it hard. That would be complicated. It looks like you're gonna break your wrist. Because she's mine. That's like hugging from the inside. She has to ask for permission to hug, right? Oh, I didn't realize, but okay. That's the rule. But I gave her, you may not notice it, but it's whenever a hug goes on, she looks at me and I give her a nod. But now I've said, it was over this weekend, I said, you know what? If your fist has been in them, you don't have to ask, you can just give them a hug. I figured at that point. That seems like the fair. Is there a statute of limitations? No. She already doesn't have- It's forever hug. She doesn't have blanket permission to hug me? You know how to make this happen now. She's touched your penis, so does that not count? Well, it doesn't. You have it in you. You could get the perma hug. If you are the chosen cock and she has sex with you, then yes, the same thing would apply. Oh. I'm sorry, could we listen? I don't think he knows. You put a pin in that? We all thought that that would happen. Has that not happened? I don't think he, no. I think I would know if there had been a penis in me. We have two. But I don't think he knows about being the chosen cock. I thought I missed the whole thing. What? I don't think he knows about- No, I don't know about this. He doesn't know about- Is this like an Anaconda Skywalker thing? Yes. There's a certain amount of midichlorians in my balls. Wow. That you don't know. Maybe that's where bald heads come from. Do they spill out? Yes. As it comes from midichlorians. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Brilliant. Is there hot sauce involved in this? Oh. Wow. Oh. Nobody got that because we were talking about hot sauce blowjobs earlier. Just so. Okay. So she has requested or said that she's ready for a forced hetero, right? And that was supposed to be last year and she had the chosen cock, but because of timing and where he was located, it just wasn't going to happen. So we're like, okay, so we need to figure out this year. And as we're going through the year, there's one and it's a husband of a very good friend of ours. He, in fact, is a very good friend of ours as well. But then yours was on the list as well. Secondary cock? Right. Well, because she had already touched your penis. Okay. How long is the list? It's a list of two. Let her finish. Wow. That's a lot of pressure on me. It is. It is. Wait, wait, wait. Is that a cock joke? Wow. Wow. Really? From you? A two brutes? So, and also you actually still live even a little bit closer than the other penis. So it's a distinctive possibility. Wait, a couple blocks is going to make this decision? Yeah. Because that's the kinkiest fucking thing I could think of in this situation. I'm like, we're going to do forced head roll. We've been talking about this for two years, but I'm going to leave this decision down to fucking Google Maps. Have you ever had a hookup? That's awesome. Where your legs don't open, they're closer. So. Wow. I also love that I'm not even really, I'm not, this isn't, I'm not consulted. Well, no, this is part of the consulting year. Oh, this is where you consult me. There is a topic. There's an assumption that you're not going to be able to do this. I'm not going to be able to do this. I'm not going to be able to do this. I'm not going to be able to do this. Like I said, if you say no, we'll just go to the other. That's fine. But you know, just saying. Assuming it was close. 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 I think it was closer, of course. Well, here's the thing. The reason that it is such a short list is because... Can we just... Just highlight it all. Can we just... I mean... Well, I guess I can save myself off that thing. The reason why there are so few... Phrasing. Is because... Yes, there is definitely negotiation that happens. But we considered who we would ask before we even negotiate with them. Copy that. Because, you know, it's like, is she comfortable with them? Am I comfortable? Because, you know, that's a penis, you know? As if this were the Academy Awards, I'm honored to just be nominated. See? Bravo. Are you going to put on the Academy Awards losing face when you hear that was the other guy? Can we just play the music? No, but... I'm going to play her off if she's taking too long. Good, good. Okay, you just need to know that if we do end up asking him and we do end up negotiating and he ends up being okay with it and she ends up being okay with it and everybody's okay with it, this shit is not going to be something serious. I'm not going to be able to stop laughing. Trust me, if there's one thing that I'm used to, it's women laughing at me during sex. And we're not allowed to laugh. We're not allowed to make short list jokes. Now, is this going to happen on the podcast? Oh, no. Hell no. No, no, no, no. Oh. Remote podcast. It's a remote. Awesome. Nancy has requested for a lot of privacy. When the topic was brought up, numerous friends said, I want to watch, I want to watch, I want to watch. Because I like to watch everyone else have sex. I was going to say. Like, we needed a small set of bleachers and it was like, yeah. She's like, I don't feel good about that. Can it just be, you know, you? And I was like, and maybe somebody else. Because. You need one other person. In general. Right. Exactly. So, yes. So, it's going to be a small gathering. It's a small gathering. I feel like that was intentional. I feel like that was awesome. I do love penis jokes. I do. I do. They're pretty. What? She's seen more of your penis than I have. She's held the penis. She's held the penis. Gently. I feel that that was more of a gentle cup. It wasn't really. It was in her little hand. Yes. That counts. It does. It totally counts. I'm not denying that it doesn't. Oh, but. Are you crying? She is. No, I was just getting really flustered. Because Ender's penis gets you flustered? I think. Penis in general gets her flustered. Actually, I have a question. Son of a bitch. That connects back to the, that connects the, the, the super seed. With the, with the haircutting, which is, would you find this humiliating? Because you described this force hetero. Would you find this humiliating? See, here's the thing. In this hypothetical situation where he is the chosen cock and it does happen, I would have a hard time finding it humiliating because she would be cracking the fuck up. And be making jokes. And be making jokes. But with someone else who, because I don't think you'd be, I don't know why I feel like you wouldn't be on board with like humiliation in that kind of, because she, because we get really dark and really serious and stuff. I don't know. I just assume. But anyways, I don't know. But to answer your question, I guess I can go both ways because I can totally see that. If you're forced. Yeah, exactly. It's that forced thing. Yeah, I think it depends. I mean, you're right. I think with Andrew, it would be. A really, there would be a lot of levity to the scene. But if it was with the other person, it would be much darker and much more intense because that's more his personality and he and I would play off of that. Right. Whereas Andrew and I would play off of the light. I love Andrew. He's like a cuddly teddy bear that I love so much. You'd be fucking a panda. He has an outfit. Which is pretty infrequent from what I understand. Right? You would be one of the rare creatures on earth to get panda fucked. That's rare. It would be weird. We need to make a button. It's a longer list than you'd think. He really likes to throw in the word longer. Apparently. Now. He was a man slut before I met him. Whoa, hang on. Hey, you said it. I wouldn't even. It was all hopped up on bamboo. You said it. I got fucked up on bamboo one night and. Out on the town. Yeah. It was just. Clowns and bitches. It was all meerkats and I don't know what else. Little red pandas too? Ooh. Oof. The little red pandas. Right? Them hot bitches. They're like raccoons that are related to me. Yeah. I don't buy that they're pandas, but it's cool. If you don't know what a red panda is, look it up because I'm telling you. They're adorable. Wait, what is it? It's a red panda. They're little. That's. Yeah. That's not. Dave, Dave, I'll take you up to the zoo. Yeah. Can we? Yeah. Will you buy me an ice cream? They have them at San Diego Zoo. Okay. The ones at San Diego Zoo are adorable. I'll take you down there. Is there a way to go to San Diego? I don't think I can go to San Diego Zoo without going to San Diego. No. Unfortunately, no. Why? Do you not like San Diego? I used to live there. I was in San Diego for years. And it smells like a whale's vagina. That's not why I dislike it. How many whale's vaginas have you been in? All of them. Those are adorable. Aren't they? Yeah. They look like they're laughing. Aww. Have you seen the, was it the quokka? No. The what? Try Googling. Oh, jeez. Are we turning this into the cute animal episode? Well, I'll get back to humiliation eventually. But cute animal. Cute animal. Cute animal. W-U-O-K-K-A. Maybe. That's the red panda. He is pouncing. So you think, do you think that him being a panda during this exchange would be more humiliating? Because I don't think so. I think it could be, though. The reason I was thinking about it between the two is that they're both activities that could be really humiliating in one context, but in at least one obvious context are much more about sort of intimacy, are much more about connecting with a partner, about doing something that you don't want to do. You know, this other partner wants, and that makes it not humiliating, even though the act could be humiliation. And that's actually, the reason why that sort of punted in my head is that that's a dynamic that I've been really interested in my own life recently. And the idea that one of the things that can be fun with humility, I mean, I really like humiliation, but one of the things that can be fun with it is to push it even harder so that an act that would under other conditions be super humiliating loses all of its humiliating character. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. It's so intimate and it's so separate from the sort of cultural or social baggage that makes it humiliating that sort of it's no longer even humiliating. It's the idea that the type of humiliation that's going in is strictly defined by the two people who are engaging in it. Yeah. It's a world creating in this very literal sense. Between the two of you, the thing that you're doing ceases to be humiliating because between the two of you, the thing that you're doing is owned as something that is something that you're proud of or something that connects you. or something that's any of those things. No, that's what, that's been, and that was the thing that I was trying to bring up in your humiliation class. Humiliation is really, for me, it's something that's owned by the people that are doing it. And if one or both of those people choose to not own that emotion, then it ceases to be that thing. I see what you're saying. Okay. This can be a really powerful tool towards intimacy in exactly the way you were talking about rope. It's sort of like we constitute a world that is so ours and that we own so completely, so separate from the world around us that these acts, water sports, the slurs of various types. Shaving someone's head. Shaving someone's head, rubbing ash in their face, all these things which can be super hot as humiliation aren't even humiliation anymore because there's just what we are doing together and the humiliating aspect is sort of left outside this world that we've created. And to get back to the point of like when Melissa brought up the idea of me shaving her head, it wasn't like, ooh, this is going to be a thing. It wasn't going to be a humiliation scene. Like for me, it was, that's going to be this really awesome gift that Melissa gives me. And it's not going to be about making her feel less than or bad. It's about her doing something that she wants to do to make me happy, which is not in any way humiliating. And it shouldn't be. Right. But it's awesome. Right. Whereas Nancy offered, she wants to get her hair cut. She wants to like get her hair cut short. So she's like, what do you think? Well, like cut my hair in the middle of the scene. And I'm like, fuck yeah. Because that's something, I mean, she and I would be very humiliating, but it'd be awesome. Well, and it was one of those things where I thought about it and I thought, oh, she'd be really excited. She'd be really excited. It's so similar. Yeah, it's very similar. And I mean, yeah, but it's not romantic. That's for damn sure. No, but we have definitely had those scenes that transcends it. And it is. I mean, you've, I mean, most of the ones where you're, you're objectified, it's very intimate. Yeah. Really intimate. And you know what's funny? The world does melt away. Is that people, people will watch that and they'll say things like, wow, you really scared the fuck out of me. Or wow, I can't believe like you did that. Yeah. And it doesn't, I always thought that it was just kind of like us not having like the shock value anymore and just being jaded about it. But we're having so much fun. You're enjoying it. Right. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying it. You're enjoying what you want to do. You're in it. And you don't care what other people think. Oh my God, that's going to be crazy. It's going beyond worrying about the parameters that society puts on you. Well, I don't, I don't, I don't. Which is basically all of what we do though. Which is what it should be. Yeah. Because we're not. It's just the difference between, oh, impact play or whatever that somebody else would think you're beating them. That's terrible. That's abuse. And this, you're, you're humiliating them. That's terrible. That's abuse. It's the same. Well, but I mean, so if you describe this as transcend, you describe this as beyond. And I don't think of it. So I don't think of it as beyond or, or after. I think of it as just sort of different. Like, so, so for example, I have two partners who I see on a regular basis. And I'll, I'll do water sports with both of them. But it's utterly different with one. With one, my other partner does not like it. It is not an enjoyable act. It is something that, that she provides for me as, humiliation might put it a little strongly, but she's doing it purely for me. This sort of obviously degrading act. And what she's getting out of this, I'm giving you this thing you want. With the other partner, it's much more this sort of, we have this, this separate world. We've reconfigured what this means. It's intimacy building. And I, I don't feel like one is sort of beyond. I, I really enjoy them both. And, and what I get out of it with, with the first partner that involves this sort of, oh, this thing that I shouldn't do like that. I couldn't get that out of it. If there wasn't this sort of reference to this outside world, like I, in a certain way, I need this hypothetical audience in order to get what I, I want out of that. So I'm not sure that I think of the second way is sort of beyond or transcendent or above. I just think of it as, as a very different pleasure. I think it's, I think it's, but I think the more accurate term that you create, that you said was it's world creating. So it's separating, it's separating itself from what external societal perception would be. Yeah. Yeah. It's building a world rather than playing in a world. And, and one of, but one of your relationships requires pretty specifically on what that reference is. And then one doesn't entirely. So the, the partner that is, is less enjoyable about this and it, and it genuinely is sort of a humiliating act for them. There needs to be some sort of, in order to make that sort of determination, that's a determination and deference to the societal construct that's outside of it. So, so she perceives it as, as, or it's perceived as humiliating in the general societal structure that exists now. Yeah. Yeah. And that's something that she's referencing whenever that happens with her. Yeah. No, there's an implicit audience. And that's, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. So that's my point. As opposed to the other person who it's a completely separate world that you've created outside of the societal reference that the other person is making. Yeah. I just don't think that having a hypothetical audience as a reference to sort of fuel, whatever, sex you want to have is necessarily worse or, or less free or anything like that. I think playing with the audience is a fine thing to do. I don't think when I use the term transcendent or beyond, I don't think that that's me meant to make reference, uh, as to one is being better or worse. It's not a judgment. It's not a judgment. It's a separation. Transcending means being, for me, it's beyond, it's beyond that judge. It's beyond that societal reference. That's right. I, whenever I think of beyond, I think of is sort of obviously better. I don't know why. That's probably just my, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Rather than, rather than gotten better than. Yeah. No, no. Agreed. Surefully agreed. Well deconstructed. I love our guests. You've moved on to kittens. Well, it's because we were looking at the pandas and then we moved to the cool kids. Oh, so pandas aren't cute enough for you? Is that what you're saying? What I like is during all this conversation about water sports and humiliation, you've been looking at kitten pictures. That's rad. She likes being on kittens. Yeah, she does. Actually, she might like to pee on kittens. She, in fact, does often dominating things to our various cats. Do you not? No comment. What? Like dressing them in clothing? Oh my God. No, that's horrible. She does force the uniform play with your pets. She like makes them wear out for you. Yeah. What about a monocle on the cats? Oh my gosh. Oh, cats don't need eyewear. I was thinking of a monocle. A monocle is not about need. Can we have a mustache? No one is sitting around saying, I need a monocle. That is pure want. Can we have a cat with a monocle holding a smaller cat, petting it, threatening James Bond? Oh, wouldn't it be Inspector Gadget? Maybe. No, no, a claw, but not a monocle. When you never see his face. No, you never see his face. You just see his hand. Right. So for all you know, it is a cat. It is a cat. I'll get you Gadget. Gadget. So Dr. Claw is a monocle wearing cat. He's all scratchy voice. He could have been a cat. Chewy D. You have no idea. Oh my God. And this is exactly why we wanted to walk in here with topic. Because of the pandemonium. The pandemonium. Ah. Ah. Ah. I feel like that's going to be the episode title now. The glasses came off. The pandemonium. Now you can flip your glasses because you got a new job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I have a job so I can throw my glasses around as if I don't care willy nilly. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. You're blind. Yes. I'm sure that he is. Those look good on you. I can. Oh, thank you. You should get some glasses even though you don't need them. I have glasses. Maybe a monocle. I have my very own glasses. Two glasses. Two monocles. Two monocles. Maybe, maybe a pince-nez. Can we go with a pince-nez? Bionicle. Bionicle. Wow. It will make my eyes bionic. It's just a monocle. It's just a monocle. It's just a monocle. It's just a monocle that likes girls and boys. Oh my God. It's a very open monocle. Yeah. Wow. It's free spirited. This is the Lego propaganda that's been on Fox News. Right? Right? It's infiltrated our conversation. Yeah. The film with the Lego movie says anti-capitalist and teaches bisexuality. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no. So when are we going to see that? I don't, we, there's discussions to be had. I mean, I guess I could get day drunk with Dave on Friday and we could go Friday night but it's Valentine's. Dude, what is it with this day drunk thing, man? It sounds awesome. So it's my last week. I can't think of anything better to do for Valentine's Day than go see the Lego movie. Wait, is that on Valentine's Day? Also, it's supposed to be. It is Valentine's Day. We've been getting day drunk on Valentine's Day. Marvelous. It's supposed to be your bro-ventines day. Yeah. That's actually bro-lentines day, which if any of the Brolin family, I will accept Josh, listens to this podcast and would like to make an appearance for Brolin times day, I would appreciate that. Who are the other members of the Brolin family? If Josh would like to come and, I don't know, be beaten, I'm happy to partake in that as well. I would watch that. Smack that pretty face with that chiseled jaw. Right? I'm going with my pseudo hetero life mate, Drew, who is also an Andrew. He and I are going to go and spin, and this will tell you how sentimental we are about holidays in our little poly family. The person I'm spending Valentine's Day with is Drew and we're going to go see a double feature of the Lego movie. I'm going to go see the Lego movie and the new RoboCop movie. Sweet. I wanted to counter offer that rather than seeing RoboCop, which I know you're set on, but- See a good movie. Yeah. To go see Monuments Men. Ooh. Wow. I've heard that Monument Men isn't a good movie. But it has to be better than RoboCop. I don't know, but here's one. Yeah, but RoboCop's going to have action. It's going to have PG-13 action. This is nonsense. I would just like to punchline this with Dead or Alive, you're coming with me. That's a good one. I'm going to go see Dead or Alive. I'm going to go see Dead or Alive. I'm going to punchline this with Dead or Alive, you're coming with me. You can just come see the Lego movie and then do whatever the fuck you want. I could. You didn't have to actually edit this out. You can swear on this, right? Yeah. Yeah, you can. You really can. Fuck, we had fisting. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, they had video of fisting. I mean, if you can't say fuck, then why? See, I listen to a podcast in the car. So you can't watch the video. So I can't watch the video. And apparently it's frowned upon to watch video podcasts while driving. So says the CHP. Put it on get in general. Yeah. Jeez. Thanks intrusive government. Right? Yeah. Thanks Obama. Oh God. How could they? What has this show become? I don't know. I gave up about 10 minutes ago. What are you guys doing for Valentine's Day? Yeah. I mean, let's put the pressure on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Cedro. What movie are you going to see and who's getting fisted where? No, no movies. Unless they're at home. I have my kids and we're, it's going to be kind of like a family Valentine's. Everybody is doing one part of the Valentine's dinner. Oh, that'd be nice. So my daughter likes to make cake. She's going to make a cake. My other daughter likes to make fish. She's going to make fish. My son decided he's going to do bacon mashed potatoes. And I am stuck with a vegetable. And then- Stuck with? Yes. The most nutritious part of the meal you're stuck with. Well, I have to make it so it matches all the other things. Why don't you have more meat? You could just do bacon. But that's- I'm going to make it with vegetables. Just bacon. Bacon brussel sprouts. And Nancy's bringing- Bacon wrapped asparagus. Nancy's bringing the beverages and she's going to bring Martinelli's and then probably some sort of wine for us adult people. In a box? Yes, because that's classy. Or in a bag. I'm just going to drink right out of it. Yeah, right out of the box. That's right, man. No, get the little pink cans of champagne. From what I've heard, you do drink right out of the box. I have, in fact. Am I right? Am I right? And then we'll probably all just kind of watch a movie at home. Yeah. Yeah. We'll watch a movie at home. And then on Saturday we have My Kinky Valentine. Which Melissa and I will be working the door for. So if you- We'll go with us. That's funny. So we'll- We'll work the door just before you guys. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. First you work the door, then we work the door. That's right. We'll be nice and lubed for you. Awesome. Yes, My Kinky Valentine at Threshold, which is all day Saturday, which is fantastic. Are you going to the party post that? If I can, yes. Okay. Because there's been some mild discussion about maybe doing some wrestling at the party. Sweet. For Melissa and I. That's always fun to watch. Don't fall off the stage. In some New Rouge help. I might push him off. No, we'll probably have to start not on the stage. Yeah, yeah. Some New Rouge. If you're not familiar with New Rouge- I am familiar with it. Well, that's- My best friend- Probably going to need a room for that then. There may be some New Rouge wrestling. My best friend is a buyer for Babeland and- Do you do a kiddie pool for that? I don't know. We haven't discussed that. No, you don't need a kiddie pool. It's all water based. It's very slippery. A tarp. That's what I meant. A tarp. You don't want to get on everything. No, a tarp. It's a lot of cleaning. Just get a tarp. It's just water based though. It just dries up. It doesn't get sticky or gross. Yeah. But my best friend was here for a trade show and a vendor gave her 16 ounces of New Rouge gel, which is concentrate. So you didn't use that added with water to make- She could not then take this on her airplane- Oh, pity. Airplane with her. She was like, do you want this? I was like, yes. Fuck yes. She was like, oh, that's awesome. She's like, yeah, it's not something we're going to carry anyway, so have it. Enjoy it. I was like, yeah. Awesome. And I've gotten her a little gift. Adorable. You got me a gift? Really? I got Andrew a gift. What? I got you a ... You already got me a gift. Oh, yes. I got my gift already. She'll get all fucking weepy attitude. Because it's sometimes a little thing. No, I thought you got me a gift. Is it Red Panda? Oh, it's a gift. I didn't actually get one of those. I figured she will try to dominate it like the cats, so I'm going to stay away from that. I don't try to dom the cats. What are you talking about? And then they dom you because they are an extension of my dominance. Because they're cats. They don't fucking care. My cats do. They love me. This is the most complicated DS relationship. What? Why is it complicated? This is why I'm a dog person is that- You can't dom a cat. Dog related. It's super easy. Oh, I can. I dom my cats. My cats are fucking ... They know. They know and they know that I'm the alpha. They don't fuck with me. Why is this so complicated, Andrew? It's just like- I'm the extension of the alpha. I'm the extension of my dominance. It's a joke. Because one of them took her- Butt plug. Her crystal butt plug from the counter of the bathroom up the stairs and took it underneath the dining room table. Yeah, that happened. One of my cats did that. That happened. Hey, it's fucking hilarious. How the fuck? Right? I thought she was mind fucking me because I went downstairs and I left it on the bathroom sink, whatever. It sounds to me like she's butt fucking you, not mind fucking you. I'm not fucking you. I'm not fucking you. I'm not fucking you. I'm not fucking you. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. It was in there. Is this your butt plug? Oh, fuck. I don't have any idea what this show was. I really don't have any clue. I don't care, though. It was awesome. It was very entertaining. It was. It was nice. I want them all to come here again. Yeah, okay. Next time with a topic, though. Yes. Because I feel like if we, like, you know, like, corralled ourselves and, like, had a topic. Yes. Challenge accepted. Aw. I feel that they are all intelligent enough to actually stay on a topic. But we would probably need to, you know, bring them in. I wouldn't rush to judgment on that. We cannot have Andrew. It's cool. How many beverages of the adult nature have been consumed before? Well, one of these days I want to be drunk again because I like doing the show drunk. It's awesome. Because the one time that he came. Day drunk? Day drunk. I can't do a Friday. Yeah. But he did, yeah. I worked on Friday. I worked besides you until next time. And David. And then next week we can be lunch buddies. Right? Oh. What? I said, I got for lunch today. I got a sandwich. I got a Kraft macaroni and cheese cup. I got a juice box. I got some Doritos. It was awesome. There's some elementary school kid crying because he doesn't have a lunch right now. Don't let him get you down. That sounds rad. What? Thank you. I make her lunch and it's pretty much almost identical. Yeah, exactly. It's just one more lunch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're the three. So it's one more lunch. And she has the palate of an eight-year-old. So if my eight-year-old likes it, she'll like it. Dude, I would love bologna sandwiches. Ew. Oscar Mayer. Yeah. Well, you buy it. I'll make it. But that's nasty. How do you call yourself a minority eating bologna? I don't think she does call herself a minority. She's a snotty white bitch over there. No. Sometimes I call myself a minority within a minority within a minority. Oh, that's fair. Of course she would. What? Hipster. What? Wow. She's the inception of my anorex right there. It's suddenly gotten into a humiliation scene here to end off the show. Hipster humiliation. Oh my gosh, hipster humiliation. Putting someone in really tight jeans, tattooing nautical stars on their forearms. Yes, yes. Don't get me intelligentsia, bitch. Making them ride a fixie with no seat but a dildo. This is working for me. Going to dumb Starbucks. Making them wax their mustache. Yes. Mocking their mustache. Is this going to be humiliating or is it just going to be intimate again? We're like, the skinny jeans don't represent anything else. They just represent how well they are. They just represent me not knowing what size jeans you wear. Well, there is that. I'm tired. All right. So, you in the Los Angeles area, if you want to come to my Kinky Valentine, it is Saturday, the 14th? It is. 15th. 15th. 15th. Friday is the 14th. One to seven. Yeah, it is. The daytime part is. Yeah, one to seven. And there's going to be vendors and stuff. And it's a good, it's actually. It's a fundraiser. For finding toys and stuff, I love going to these events because they always, you always get really good stuff for a good price. I love it. I usually end up getting good shit there. You can get your pants signed by Insidious Me user service a lot. It's true. You can. We'll even sign breasts and butts. We're good at that too. Yeah, you can get your boobs signed by Melissa. Just walk up to her and say, hey, Harry Jones, get her a studio, sign my boobs. She will sign your boobs. It's totally. But you won't sign. And we're often, and we're like. She'll sign boobs. She will. Melissa will be looking fantastic, I'm sure. She doesn't want to touch the penis. Well, now you've put a whole lot of pressure on. Wow. She'll sign Andrew's penis. No, no. What if Andrew's holding the penis? What? What if I'm holding the penis? Well, she's just. Oh, you don't have to touch his penis. It has to be his penis. Okay. Because she's not going to go touching Randall's penis. This wasn't about me. I just wanted to. No. I like how you're looking out for her, though. Yes. You're making the. I have a friend who wants Andrew to hold his penis while you sign it. This is our official penis holder. Please. And that's how Andrew got to touch everyone's penis. He's a penis notary. It's very official. Penis notary. Penis notary, yeah. Do you have an embossing stamp? Actually. Actually. That's a new form of torture. You're right. Wow. Yellow. Little CBT. Little CBT going on. I used to have one, too, for my corporation. No, there's the one that the other Andrew wants to give me from Breaking Bad. Oh. I can use that one. Wait, is that an embossing? I don't know. I feel like this is the beginning of an awesome scene. All right. That's a stamp stamp. Well, kids, we're done here. This was awesome. We don't have time to really do our roundouts, but this is Intellectual Kink. I'm Anastasia's Muse. And I'm Service Sly. And I'm Anastasia's Muse. And I'm Service Sly. And I'm Anastasia's Muse. These are people. And we'll be back next week. Thank you.