Episode

Oh, shit. You want to grab that mic right there? Introduce yourself. I have my mic on. I can hear myself, but I don't know if we're broadcasting. And I didn't see where the remote for the air conditioner is. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. Give us a few moments. We appreciate your patience, and we will be with you, entertaining you shortly. Maybe. Hopefully. We got nothing. Probably not even hearing what I'm saying. Can you hear me through your headphones? I can hear you through my headphones for the first time. I have no volume coming to mine. Keep talking? I'm talking. Okay. Yes, indeed. I hear you. Okay. I was hearing you in my headphones. Oh, great. Who knows if we're actually going out live right now or not. If we are. If we are. Good morning, everyone. This is Jake Belcher. And I'm Brant Thoman. And thank you for tuning in to Grand Theft Audio Radio at skidrowstudios.com. Totally hope that we are going out. If we're not, then I don't know what we're going to do, right? Exactly. Just sit here and talk to each other for two hours and have dead air going out or something? Quite possibly. We don't even know. I'll be in the studio in two seconds. Okay. Okay. Well, here's the dealio. Is that, um... I'm going to try to check us on our, um... Oh! Brant, what are you reading over there, buddy? Oh, someone left, uh... Adelante. Adelante. The GLBT Latino. The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transsexual Latino Magazine. Adelante. Yes. Kelly Lynch. How does she do it? Luis Lopez. Community leader. Seeks our vote. Alfred Salinas. A young gay man surviving cancer. Adelante. Adelante. Sounds like it. Hey, we are on the air, so I guess that's what really matters, right? Yeah. How many times do we can loop around? Adelante. Sounds like it. Hey, we are on the air, so I guess that's what really matters, right? Yeah. How many times do we can loop around? Adelante. I guess that's what really matters, right? Around. Adelante. Adelante. Adelante Adelante Adelante Are we really going to do this? How many times do you think it'll take for it to just be Adelantes? Adelante I think you'd have to keep saying it over and over Adelante Adelante How many times do you think it'll take for it to just be Adelantes? Adelante I think you'd have to keep saying it over and over Adelante Adelante How many times do you think it'll take for it to just be Adelantes? Adelante I think you'd have to keep saying it over and over Adelante Adelante Adelante Adelantes Adelante I think you'd have to keep saying it over and over Adelantes Adelantes Adelantes I gotta say, that's a pretty good commercial there for Adelante. Yeah. There they go. Adelante's out into the universe. Once again, this is Jake Belcher. And I'm Brant Thoman. Thanks for joining us here. We apologize about our background noise today, but I can't find the thing that turns off the air conditioning. No, I can't. No idea. Hooray! Yay, indeed. So it's going to be an interesting day. Yeah. Hey, at least you don't have to be out of here early today, right? So we don't have to figure out the clock issues or anything like that. We can just kind of... We'll end when we end. Baloney sauce our way through it. Yeah. Baloney sauce. Well, we didn't get to do this, so... I have no volume coming from here. You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio, the kings of internet radio... With Jake Belcher. And Brant Thoman on skidrowstudios.com. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. Skid Row Studios. Stop it. No, you stop it. No, you stop it. Say it with me. No, I don't want to. How it stacks with me? At Skid Row Studios? Sure. Okay. Okay. Yeah, it's just going to be... Right on time. Right on time. Right, right on, on time. Yeah, here we are back. This is a funky one. We are trying to run this by ourselves for the first time. And I got to say, not doing too good. No. Instructions weren't as detailed as we had anticipated. Yeah, well, at least most of it is cosmetic. Like, I don't think we can run any sounds today. No, it doesn't seem like we're going to be able to do that. Yeah, I don't think we're going to be able to play any YouTube songs or anything today. Hooray? Yeah, hooray. Hooray for boobies. I guess we'll just have to access it through our phones and hold it up to the microphone. Yeah, that's a good way. That's a good way to drive ourselves crazy. Uh-huh, and our listeners. Let's see if this phone comes through. No. I wonder what I've done here. Oh, well. We are definitely just ourselves today, so. Yep. Which is good. We have crud loads to cover. We just might not get any official breaks or anything, so strap in now for a whole two hours of funky... Winkerbeam. Cole Medina. Cole Medina, which as we covered yesterday, was banned in some newspapers this week. And there's now been some outrage over people who were angry that they would block off a comic strip. Because even though... In a newspaper. In a newspaper. A bastion of the freedom of speech. They've decided that since two of the couples are going to a prom... Gay couples trying to go to prom together, all these towns and little newspapers decided to ban it. And people... Even those actual towns have now stepped up and said, What, you think that we can't handle this just because we're in a rural area that we don't know what's going on? Who are you to say... How many complaints did you get to begin with that said that you can't have us read this and understand what's going on? Are we that dim-witted that we possibly can't understand what you're putting in front of us in your newspaper? I would be pretty offended if I lived there and someone treated me like that. Yeah, absolutely. So... But... I guess the... The Marvel superhero thing is getting a little more traction. I've seen the morning shows this morning were all covering the fact that Northstar is going to have his gay wedding in the Uncanny X-Men. Now, was it yesterday or was it today that they were going to be on The View? Because I think that he was supposed to come on and announce his engagement on... Seriously? Yeah. Was it someone dressing up as Northstar to come in and... Some butthole. Just like... I'm going to get married to my man now! Oh. Awesome. Awesome. Boy, I'm certainly looking forward to today's episode of The View. I do have it set up to DVR daily. Oh, wait, no, I'm not Carl. You're not a lady? No, I'm not. Hey! Awesome. Some of the background noise has dissipated and we will... Sound so much better now. Getting better by the second. Yep. It's almost like a halfway professional show again. Yes. We're at least at 48%. At least halfway. So, I did watch the finals for American Idol last night. Okay. And... My boy won! Yes. Phillip Phillips was the big winner. Congrats, Phillip. And then, didn't the Dancing with the Stars finish yesterday as well? Or was that two nights ago? Two nights ago. Two nights ago. A receiver from the Green Bay Packers, Donald Driver, was the winner. So, another athlete. Dude, so often it's like a football player. Or just any kind of professional athlete. Yeah, you're right. I guess there's been a lot of football players who have either won it or have gone very, very long into it. That makes... The thing about it was, his celebration was just ridiculous. Rolling around on the floor and he... I mean, it was like a three-year-old had won something. And this isn't the Super Bowl, buddy. Though he said that winning the Dancing with the Stars was just as rewarding as the feeling of winning the Super Bowl was. Which, for him, probably makes sense because he didn't do shit in the Super Bowl. Yeah, exactly. He did nothing. I mean, it's just ridiculous. But I did really like the end of American Idol. They brought on a lot of people for that finale. Well, good. They brought on John Fogerty, Fantasia Barrino wearing the most disgusting outfit you've ever seen. Disgusting good or disgusting bad? It was gross. Until about ten minutes later when Chaka Khan showed up and it was like the same designer designed her outfit and it was just as awful. Awesome. It looked like she pooped herself. I mean... But the person, I guess, it really looked like they pooped themselves. It was Jennifer Lopez who was wearing these pants that had like the crotch at about the level of her knees. I mean, it was just a disgusting night for women's fashion. There was no good outfits on it. Not even the young lady who came in as runner-up? No. I mean, she's... I didn't see what she wore, so I didn't even see what Phillips wore. She's not a good-looking girl, so it doesn't matter what you put her in, you're not going to be like, oh, yeah, she looks great. Right. She's got a funky face and kind of gross. Well, it's a shame she didn't win. Well, not really. I guess so. I'm glad she didn't. Good for them. Good for them. Another TV series that will take a hiatus for a couple of months before they have the next casting call and we can sit and laugh at all the buffoons who think that they can. That is the best part of that show. I agree. Just have the suck-ass suckers. I've appreciated the fact that the ones that you have made me watch have always been those and not the decision episodes where they're going to bring out Queen. And butcher songs that shouldn't be even played on that show. Awfulness. Those are so effing bad. Okay, turning away from entertainment for a minute, we have a couple of stories this week that were pretty exciting. SpaceX, the company that is trying to make commercial flights out into space, they launched their most recent unmanned rocket and everything went great. This happened late on Tuesday night. It is making its first trip up to the International Space Station. It is making its first trip up to the International Space Station. It is making its first trip up to the International Space Station. It is making its first trip up to the International Space Station. Just as a test to see if they can make it there and back and dock everything. Right. I think that's pretty awesome. I would love to go to space. I mean, that would be incredible. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Eventually, it will get down into a price range that we'll be able to afford. Probably. Probably not in our lifetime, though. No, I think within our lifetime. We're going to see more and more people who are going to want to be able to take these kind of trips, even if it's just for, you know, to be able to experience the weightlessness of leaving the Earth. The gravitational pull of the Earth. Mm-hmm. I'm actually kind of surprised that there isn't a company. Because, you know, you see all those films that use those planes that can go and just get out of the atmosphere and just out of the pull of the planet. And, you know, you get your weightlessness there and they'll do films and stuff up there. I'm surprised more of those aren't like actual, like, commuter flights that people can take on a regular basis. Maybe they are. Maybe they are. Maybe they are. But I have yet to hear. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. Yeah, me either. The fact that the SpaceX is able to launch unmanned dock with these international space stations. So it seems like it might be the front runner for sending astronauts from the United States up there. That is their plan. Because right now, we have to pay Russia to be able to fly one of our astronauts up into space. Much rather that go to an American company. And that costs about $60 million per person. Per person? Dude, that's crazy. But yes, that is what Russia charges us to do it. That's as ridiculous as the fact that we have to pay the Pakistanis $5,000 for every convoy that we use that goes through a certain area of Pakistan into Afghanistan. Yeah, I've heard about that. It's just absolutely ridiculous. I mean, really? What if we say no? Are you really going to try and stop us from going in there? Our drones fly into your airspace and take out the bad guys. You really think that? You'll stop those two? It's pretty unlikely. Yeah. This is the type of company that should have an IPO. I mean, this is the type of thing that the public should be able to put their money in and support and make bigger and better. If Facebook is so fucking worthless, I mean, in the end, I guarantee you, guarantee you that 15, 20 years from now, we're not going to give a shit about Facebook. There's going to be some other technology that comes up. There's going to be some other way of sharing everything that Facebook is going to mean nothing. There's going to be some other way of sharing everything that Facebook is going to mean nothing. There's going to be some other way of sharing everything that Facebook is going to mean nothing. This could be the company that winds up merging with those planetary miners that James Cameron's heading up to start mining asteroids. If you're able to get into space this easily as a commercial company, well, this just seems like the perfect opportunity to kind of join forces. And we're going to go farther than the International Space Station. We're going to get ourselves out to the asteroids, especially if they're unmanned. You can get several unmanned vehicles out there and start seeing what's out there. That is a crazy plan they've got. That's just, it's nuts. It's one of those things that just doesn't make much sense at all. We say that now, and then once they strike, they find the solid gold asteroid and they're able to rocket it back to Earth, then we'll be sitting there going, damn it, why didn't we think of that? Why didn't we invest? Why wasn't I a billionaire at that point? See, I mean, but that is still like, even if they're not successful, it's still, to me, a better thing to invest. Invest in than people sharing pictures of their dog. Yep. Or cats with mittens. Yeah, who gives a shit about that? Kittens with mittens. Nobody cares about that. In the least. I mean, it's impossible to. Who wants to hear a talking cat? We've seen Olong Johnson enough. We don't need to see it anymore. Olong Johnson. Yeah. Okay. I got scary news out of Georgia. Another person has come down with that same flesh-eating disease. Awesome. There's a Georgia landscaper. Who is now at the same, being treated at the same hospital as the previous girl, Amy Copeland. And he contracted what is being called necrotizing fasciitis after cutting his thigh while trimming weeds on May 4th. A couple days later, he sliced open his calf again. And then it just started getting bigger and grosser and more pussy. It started off like with a little thing about the size of a peanut. And a day later, it had swollen up to about the size of a grapefruit. Oh, Jesus. I mean, that's. I am never, ever going to Georgia again. I am not even going to use the Delta hub if I can avoid it. Just for fear of this bacteria that's just apparently all over the place. I have to say that I didn't want to go there even before this was going on. Yeah. This just makes me even more not wanting to be up there. Yep. Because it is disgusting. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If you got a. You got a flesh-eating. Disease in your. In your state. I'm done. Not. Not going to it. Killing tourism. It's bye-bye time. Yeah. Bye-bye time. So long, Atlanta. I don't care if you're fun or in hell. Yeah. Not interested in dying that way. But I mean, it's. This is a pretty debilitating thing. And for it to be happening to a second person. Means there's going to be more and more of them. I mean, it doesn't just happen. Something can happen to one person. You know, something weird happens. Like you don't know what's going to happen. Start spreading out to another person. These guys. They're sort of thinking. Uh-oh. Let's. Let's wash our hands before everything we do. Let's not cut ourselves in the thigh and in the calf while landscaping. Yeah. That seems like. Really. What instruments are you using that you're cutting yourself open while you're landscaping? That's just a. That happens. I guess. I don't remember ever cutting myself open when I was weeding or putting. Planting flowers or anything like that. But that's just me. But still. Yeah. Disgusting. Scary bacteria. What? You don't want a big grapefruit sized. Tumorish kind of thing full of pus? Yeah. Delicious. It's not good. It doesn't sound like it. I can't believe it. Well, I do believe it actually because I've seen the pictures. But it just seems that. One person you're like, okay, that's a freak occurrence. Now that you've got the second one within two, three weeks of the other one. Maybe there's more to it than we think. Maybe this is like that. That zombieing. That's a zombieing disease. It's going to start off this way and it's actually going to infect regular people and then turn them into zombies. That's possible. Awesome. I mean, stranger things have happened, but it's very possible that that is what's going on here. I hope that this plays. I totally want to play this before our next story. Okay. Now I see it's going through there. Hmm. Well, it's making the sound, but it's not coming through. I wonder if there's one more place. Maybe there's one more button to go push in the other room. Maybe. Why don't we find out? For 10 seconds and all. Sure. I'll try to keep everyone entertained here. What can I? I wish I could see what was trending right now. We could talk about that because that's always so much fun. Geez, what could be on the web? But we once again apologize for all the technical difficulties this morning. Yeah, I don't really know what to do on that one. I'm going to guess that this probably did it. Go over there and try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. Sure. I'm going to try to press the vagina button. No love? Nothing. Hmm. Try it again. Nothing still. Hmm. Don't know what to say about that one. Back vocal, drums, vocal. Is that our phone in the background or is that somebody else's? I don't think it's ours. Boy, I'm afraid of touching too many of these buttons in here. I hear you. Next person comes in and everything's all... Well, that's kind of how it was left for us. Well, in our defense, we were supposed to know what we were doing. Yeah? In their defense. In their defense. Hey, we found something. What did you touch? It was coming through. Is there a volume? I did hear something there. I don't even know what I hit. Okay, try to play it again. I said, hey, there is vagina news. What you gonna learn in vagina news? Vagina news. Okay, give it to me one more time just so I can get the level right. Hey, there is vagina news. What you gonna learn in vagina news? Hey, there is vagina news. Vagina news. I said, hey, there is vagina news. What you gonna learn in vagina news? Vagina news. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are we sure that that was... Yeah, that was going over the headset, right? Yeah, it was going over the headsets. It's also coming out of the speakers now. Great. Because I think that's all they really changed. Huh. I don't know, man. Hey, at least we've got the sounds coming up. You know what? I'm going to turn these speakers down. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. But if you do that, I wonder if it's still going to be able to play this song. Hey, there is vagina news. What you gonna learn in vagina news? Hey, there is vagina news. What you gonna learn in vagina news? Vagina news. The good news is that we now have our computer sounds back. Hooray. I can dig that all day long. Because that was a drag. Okay, so what I want to talk about was, first of all, first of all, okay so we now have a world's new a new world's richest woman oh i know now who was the world's richest woman up until this point well that's a good question dude um oh i'm sorry i thought the way you said it is like okay we have a new one so who was the old one is i guess what i was carla slim carla slim um she was um a she was a mexican telecommunications tycoon okay the new person is a gina reinhardt um wait i'm sorry i mixed these two of them up i saw two of them pass each other okay the previous richest woman was walmart heiress christy walton okay the new one is christy reinhardt who is a um a mining tycoon i'm from the mining background she is worth a estimated 28.4 billion dollars that's a crud load oh hold on a second hey baby how you doing you need someone to give you those massages to your aching feet yeah i got a wife i'm keeping her but you know like you could be my side girl it's all that extra money running around take you out dancing i mean i'm not gonna dance but i like you treat you right with your money you ever had um mac and cheese with ketchup on it girl it's delicious with the little piece of the hot dog in it hell yeah i mean she's from australia she doesn't give a shit right right um i promise i won't let any dingo steal our babies that's that is the biggest thing she needed to hear no more dingo stealing her baby that was the clincher i think so that was um the thigh clincher like oh you know it's really interesting one of the interesting facts about australia that i do know is that up until about i think it was about 40 50 years ago um it might even be less than that australia did not allow the exportation of any kind of minerals because they did not they weren't finding any reliable sources of like iron and and gold and such that there were no veins of it until this one bush pilot uh had to make an emergency landing and actually landed on what wound up being one of the largest iron ore deposits it was just literally a slab of iron that was that he landed on and it was it was so immense that he you know because he found it and discovered it he was able to to claim rights to it and overnight became a billionaire because the sheer amount of iron ore that's there and now they're one of the largest iron uh exporters in the world wow so she must be related to this guy or married to him or something so it must be related because she wouldn't be the richest woman if it was if uh if if it was his that makes sense um that makes sense a lot hey we're gonna go to our first break of the day while we try to figure out the rest of our um communication issues yes as we have a communication breakdown uh sam tripley is going to take you through this we'll be back right after this man then i always like this now my shows i did a show for five people the other day it's like now i know how strippers feel at four in the afternoon you know what i'm saying but you gotta put on your smiley face and shake your money maker baby needs four in the afternoon you know what i'm saying formula who's with me on that one yeah strippers yay who loves living in la it's a great time isn't it huh yeah lady in the front likes it a lot of crazy people huh are you one of them are you one of the crazy people oh you are nice i love crazy people dude that's all i meet in this town i was at the bar the other day right and having a good time and i met these three chicks really hot next thing i know they want to go back to my house and start partying dude and we went back and that was a lot of fun dude it was a good time until they robbed me yeah dude these chicks had a plan they stole everything xbox games cds and cash dude god and that's evil you know because if they would just fooled around with me i would just gave them that shit you know what i'm saying a little thank you package for the good times huh three chicks at once get my left leg for that dude because that's the story you tell your grandchildren about how cool you were back in the day it's like oh you want to know grandpa lost his leg well let me tell you there's these three sexy ladies and grandpa now if you change your mind you're gonna be like oh i'm not gonna be like that i'm gonna be like i'm not gonna be like that i'm not gonna be like that i'm not gonna be like that i'm not gonna be like that if you change my diaper i'll tell you about how you use a donkey punch your grandma grandma i meet crazy people in this town i was walking out the other day uh from my apartment walked to my car and i see these kids jumping their skateboards off my car yeah so i do what any grown-up would do i walk up to the kids and just kids dude knockout style dude bruce lee just you know what i'm saying no don't hit kids don't hit kids don't hit kids especially your own never hit your kids man if you ever think you're gonna go crazy you're gonna go nuts you take a step back take a deep breath and get one of your other kids to beat your kids because that is totally legal you know what i'm saying my dad discovered that years ago called it a wink and a nod anytime my little brother acted up he'd give me a little oh yeah regulators mouth up and i just beat that kid retarded it was awesome let's say you only got one kid what are you gonna do simple adopt okay preferably samoan have you seen samoans when they're four they're like six five two fifty they'll fight robots dragons stormtroopers you gotta go third world man if you're gonna adopt you've got to man you just get more bang for your buck you know what i'm saying third world kids they're so happy to be here they'll get a knife fight for you be like me poppy and just stick somebody you know what i'm saying not american kids a little chunky bass thirds you know what i'm saying american kids are lazy dude you gotta push your kids man gotta push them that's not the only way they become great dude look at tiger woods' dad pushed and became the greatest golfer ever i'm gonna do that with my kids but in a real sport like ultimate fighting you know what i'm saying made that kicker move ground and pound i'll be the only parent who wants to get called to the teacher's office be like mr triple you're gonna You know what I'm saying? American kids are lazy, dude. You gotta push your kids, man. Gotta push them. That's not the only way they become great, dude. Look at Tiger Woods' dad. Pushed him, became the greatest golfer ever. I'm gonna do that with my kids. But in a real sport. Like ultimate fighting, you know what I'm saying? The minute that kid can move, ground and pound. I'm gonna be the only parent who wants to get called to the teacher's office. I'll be like, Mr. Tripoli, your son is beating up everybody in the third grade. What do you think about that? I think we should move him up, man. See how he does against sixth graders, bro. I think this kid can scrap. Everybody's fighting now, right? Everybody's fighting. Even women in the movies. Just saw Angelina Jolie's new movie. She's always kicking ass, right? Every chick is, though, in every movie now. Even chicks like Keira Knightley. Anybody seen Pirates of the Caribbean? I'm watching that movie. I'm thinking, when did waif models learn to sword fight? You're 90 pounds, lady. The only thing you know how to fight is anorexia. Who's been on that one? The only time you'll be using a sword is to scoop cocaine up to your nose. You know what I'm saying? It's every movie now. Girls are like super agents, and they're fighting werewolves and cyborgs. It's kill or be killed. They're fearless. Where are these chicks? I want to date them. Because all the women I date, they're all like, I'm cold. I gotta pee. Do you miss me? Do you miss me? I miss you fighting ninjas. But girls, man, do you like to fight, though, ladies? You like to get drunk and swing, don't you? Yeah, little tiny ones like you. It's never the tall chicks who want to rumble, right? You never see WNBA players going crazy. It's always the little punchy munchkin who's, like, drunk off two jello shots. Besides, she wants to become a pit bull in a miniskirt, right? Cute and cuddly one second. So happy to be with you. Love you so much. Two shots later, I'm gonna fucking kick your ass. Anyone here ever get their ass kicked by their girlfriend? Anybody? I have, dude. It is a lonely place. There's no support groups. There's no shelters. Can't call the cops. I call the cops. Have to get your ass kicked by your girlfriend. Be like, I'd like to report my girlfriend. She just beat me up to be like, pussy. You know what they say? You know what they say? They say bruises go away. It's the mental beatings. They stay with you. You ladies know how to put the smack down. You know what I'm saying? Women are good. A real man in a real relationship fears his woman. A real man would rather fight ten dudes than have a fight. A real man would rather fight ten dudes than have a fight. A real man would rather fight ten dudes than have a fight. A real man would rather fight ten dudes than have a fight. A real man would rather fight ten dudes than have a fight. A real man would rather fight ten dudes than have a fight. then go home to a pissed off chick. It's the truth, man. Because when you fight ten dudes at a bar, it eventually ends, right? It's over, you're in a coma. Yeah. Whatever, dude, with your woman, it's never over. There's just, like, ceasefires with some weird trigger, right? And then they just break you down and break you down and break you down. Before you know it, you're wearing Hawaiian shirts and fanny packs and you're TiVo and Martha Stewart, right? It's crazy. I'm having woman problems right now. Rick, did you turn off the air conditioning? Just found out my ex-girlfriend got deported. Yeah, it's crazy how a call to immigration can give you closure, you know what I'm saying? You leave me, you leave the country, woman, all right? You break up with Trouble, you're breaking up with America! I'm over it! Trying to be laid. I'm not good at picking up women, I'm not. Picking up women is an art form. And like any great art, you should study great artists. That's why my favorite thing to do is I love going to dance clubs and watch Brothers Sit Down Chicks. You ever watch Brothers Sit Down Women? They are the best of the best. You know what I'm talking about, Blondie, you're black man. Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. Yes, yes. We're listening to Skid Row Studios. I'm not doing it with you. Please do it with me. Fuck that. Can you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios? At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. Okay. You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Grant Thoman. And welcome back to Grand Theft Audio Radio. I am your host, Grant Thoman, along with Jake Belcher. There we go. What's up, party people? How you doing? I don't know, dude. I'm not doing too good with this whole... It seems overly complicated. Yeah. Like, if I ever have, like, my own studio, it's going to be a lot simpler. I hope so. I don't think it just needs... It seems like there's, like, seven or eight extra steps in here. Right. And they're not, unfortunately, on the step-by-step instructions. Sonia, we miss you. Yes, we do. It's okay, though. Her smiling face and her green hair. Yeah, that is a... That is the look that she's got going on. Okay. So, let's go back. Let's go back into our, what we call, news. Yes, our roundup. There is a story out of a magazine. I don't even know what magazine it's in. The Normal Heart. I don't even know what it is. It says that Jim Parsons, the star of The Big Bang Theory... The one who plays Sheldon, yes. ...has acknowledged that he is a gay man. Wow. And that he has been in a relationship for ten years with him. No big surprise. It's only a surprise that he admits it to the writer of this article, but then to be asked about it later, he doesn't want to talk about it. Well, the fact that he doesn't want to talk about it kind of just proves the guy's point. It seems. It's probably true. Yeah. Stupid cough button's still sticking. It is? Yeah. I guess they weren't able to crack into this thing and clean it out yesterday. Well, you know. Yeah. You know. I mean, I would have been a lot more surprised if I read the story and it said that he was straight. That he wasn't gay. Yeah. Jim Parsons is not gay. Like, what? Really? Maybe he and Blossom really do have a chance. That would have been like, prove it. Because... Show me the sex tape with him with a woman, please. In other news, the sky is blue. Wait, wait, wait. We already know this, right? The grass is green. Just about anybody could have put money that this is the way that... That he was. Yeah. You know what? I'm sorry. There's nothing... Even the character himself comes across as overly straight. Like, he's even... He's so straight that he's afraid of intimacy with a woman, even. So, obviously, he's not going to go for a dude, but... Obviously. Yeah. We're not supposed to believe that. That's just crazy talk. I've watched it a little bit. I find him to be a pretty annoying character. I would watch that show more if he wasn't... I've watched it on it. I know people love him. I mean, he's like an award winner in that role and stuff. He's won two Emmys for best comedic actor. Dang, that's crazy. Yeah. But, I mean, you know what? Yeah. He's the type of character that you love to hate. And, you know, we've all had those kind of people in our lives. No doubt. Yeah. That exists and it happens. The other couple stories. There was a new record set this week in the video game. Oh, awesome. You don't hear about records being broken in the video game world these days. The new record is... This was the release of Diablos 3 on Tuesday. Right. That's only for like Mac and PC, correct? Right. Right. It is now the fastest selling PC game of all time. In the first 24 hours, it sold 3.5 million dollars. Excuse me, 3.5 million copies. Enough to put it 1.2 million ahead of the record. The previous record... It was 2.3 in the first update. Right. For what game? That was for the last World of Warcraft called Cataclysm. Oh, like the update? Yeah. Okay. Wow. That's actually really surprising, the fact that World of Warcraft doesn't continue to hold that record. Then you can add an extra 1.4 million digital copies that were sold the first day. And it almost doubles the previous record. So, wait, wait, wait. In the second day sales? First day sales. Uh-huh. They did 3.5 million hard copies. Okay. 1.4 million digital copies. Digital downloads. Uh-huh. So, yeah, that's the same thing. So, you're talking... 4.7. Jesus. And the previous record was 3.... 2.3. 2.3. Yeah. So, it is double the previous record. Mm-hmm. I mean, that's pretty impressive. Congratulations, Diablo creators. It's by the same makers of Warcraft. It's a Blizzard game. Oh, it is a Blizzard game. Okay. So, that doesn't surprise me as much because those guys do tend to corner the market on that kind of technology these days, especially for PC gaming. One thing that kind of sucks about their games, though, is you have to be online to play it. There is no offline component. Right. Yeah. You're constantly interacting. So, even Diablo 3 is all online related. Yep. Now, have you seen much of it yourself? I have. It's pretty impressive looking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's much darker than World of Warcraft is. There's a lot more... In World of Warcraft, there's a lot of community to it where you're trying to build up nice things for your neighbors and stuff. Right. This isn't exactly like that. I mean, you'll still get together and war and go off and... Raids and stuff like that. ...raise and kill and stuff. But for the most part, it's a... It's much more of an action game. It's an action game. It's an action game. I do remember when Diablo 1 came out and playing that and it really was I was impressed with the graphics and the animation and the character development throughout that so I'm interested in seeing some of number three do you think it'll ever hit one of the consoles or will it just once again remain a PC and Mac? I don't think the consoles are here to stay so no I think that we're going to see the end of them pretty soon within the next I'd say five to seven years really? there's so much stuff now that you know is up in the cloud for you to be able to access your content that way that I just don't think there's gonna be much of a need for it to be in people's homes right I think you might have like some TV control top thing that attaches in but for the most part it's just gonna be like a streaming service and you're gonna wind up paying for a service from like Xbox from Microsoft or from Sony yeah to access these games and be able to play them it won't actually have to be a console I mean I guess I guess I guess that's one of the good points of the PS3 is having the Blu-ray player in them but I mean soon enough even those are gonna be obsolete I mean having disc copies of anything I imagine is gonna go out the door at some point and I hate Blu-ray have you had much of a chance to watch it? I have seen some Blu-ray and sure the picture is a little sharper it's too sharp it takes you out of it completely like you see the layers in people and where they are how far they were from each other and I find that it's a little bit more kind of really distracting and hard to watch I agree I kind of just prefer the high def 1080i that's fine I don't need beyond that yeah that's muy bueno that's a brilliant picture on my TV right now I don't need anything better than that at least I don't think I do I mean maybe for video gaming that'd be pretty awesome sure absolutely gets you immersed into it deeper or something but when you I think I watched a new movie and an old movie on Blu-ray okay and the new movie looked like shit and the old movie looked even worse oh wow like a Brewster's Millions is I think what I watched on it and it just I think they digitally went in and changed it to make it so you can see the levels between people and I hated it it's interesting you mentioned that I've seen quite a few Richard Pryor films are they gonna see copies of Adelante? no excuse me great I love that I hit the cough button to say no and then coughed into the microphone good lord good stuff you just did it again did it again yeah so no not Adelante so you're just turning your mic on and off because the cough button sticks I don't wanna I can at least get the mic to come back on when I push the mic power on yeah shit is going off the rails here it really is probably with us right like if we had a different attitude about it people wouldn't even know right right but nope couple of bitch ass sons of bitches yeah that's what we seem to be today okay let's let's get into the really important stuff okay let's get into the fact that the commanding officer the Comanche tribe has now decided to make Johnny Depp an honorary member based upon his portrayal as Tonto Tonto in the new Lone Ranger movie now was is Tonto a Comanche? is that what the is that why? okay here's what I have to say why are they honoring this guy before the movie comes out? I mean what if in the movie when the movie finally comes out it's really offensive and racist towards Indians like he's just woo woo woo woo woo woo and um let's just say that's it let me have fire water yeah and um where can I build my casino? I mean like what if the whole thing is like really anti-Indian in the end because these guys haven't seen it they're just trying to get themselves some publicity for their stupid little tribe and if you make how better than what better way than to bring in a major TV TV and movie star at this point that hey we'd like to make you an honorary Comanche even though there's not a hint of our blood in you please be one of us and it's like how do they know that his portrayal's gonna be good to the Indians? I don't know Kimo Sabe or I mean what if he spends the whole time just running around on fire water? yeah chasing after Tatankta what if the whole what if his only line is us Comanche Indians sure are dumb I mean what if that's what happens though because no one has seen it I would imagine that they probably wouldn't release it if they did that but I could they're not gonna stop Johnnie Depp I mean he just does what he wants not for what they paid him as effeminately as he can he just does what he wants but I mean if this is something you wanna do like even a day after the movie's come out and some people have seen it the day it opens I'm cool with that cause you've been invited to a special screening at least then you know that he didn't just cap on your people the whole time I mean I'm praying that Johnnie Depp just shits all over the Comanche Indians and then they regret trusting the white man again yeah I mean sure they took our land but we're not gonna do that I mean they would when Johnnie Depp made fun of us in the movie that was the last straw we are now at war with the American people it has nothing to do with Jake's offensive Indian voice it's we just we just have such hatred now for the damn I was gonna say damn Johnnie but that was some other asshole we used to work with right uh the depths of Johnnie's pers I don't even know what I'm trying to say here but I feel like these Indians should totally see the movie first that's all I'm saying yeah I'm not trying to make it all complicated maybe they've already been maybe some of the leaders of the Comanche tribe have been invited to a special screening and they were so impressed by it I think that some of them were on set and stuff but once again why not just wait till like the day it opens and do like a big a big or like at the the world premiere yeah do something where you're going to honor you know honor him as a a member of the tribe now I mean that that's a great way that's an even better way of getting your your news out there it's a nice little news cycle story right now but it'll disappear in a couple days you wait till it opens and the day before you honor him with some kind of you know nice headdress and some beads that they can wear around their neck and maybe a teepee that they that he can go pinch in his pitch in his backyard go pinching out a teepee yep good lord sir who knows what we're doing here hey here's a piece of news that I think will be interesting to you I think it's going to be interesting to you at least to you probably to other we have some beatnik people probably in our listener yep 55 years after it has been written On the Road is finally a movie would you like to explain to our listeners what On the Road is sure it's a it's a classic American piece of literature from the 1950s written by Jack Kerouac that details his hitchhiking shenanigans and adventures across the country it's a it's always a very interesting book I've read it a couple of times and I try to pass it on to people whenever I can to be very honest it's what started excuse me it's the book that really started the beat movement of the beatniks which then led to the hippie movement in the 60s I mean a lot of the the beliefs and the messages that guys like Jack Kerouac and Neil Cassidy and Alan Ginsberg and several other writers Bill Burrows being another one they tried to get a certain message across that they in regards to their beliefs and it was kind of adopted by the hippies in the 60s and it grew from there so is it actually it's in production or it has been produced it premiered yesterday at Cannes and at where? Cannes Cannes I mean that's the proper way of pronouncing it I guess some people say cans oh okay Cannes okay yeah but it has premiered yesterday it stars Viggo Mortensen really? okay and it is the son of Francis Ford Coppola who has done it a guy named Roman Coppola okay and it got pretty good reviews I'm glad to hear that I'm definitely interested in seeing it when it premieres here in the States okay apparently there's a co-director on it there's another Brazilian director with a lot of work named Sales whose last film that he made was The Motorcycle Diaries okay the story about the young Che Guevara so and that movie was pretty decent you'll definitely want to I mean that makes sense you want to have a good biopic director to work with you so this has gone on for years trying to get this movie made yeah back to like Marlon Brando promising to star in it Johnny or Brad Pitt had a contract to star in it it just keeps coming up every couple years and then it gets shelved for one reason or another makes me wonder like when they when they were going to cast Brad Pitt what part did they foresee him playing was he going to play the Cassidy was he going to play the the Kerouac part or was he going to play the Neal Cassidy part because I could see him definitely being more of the Neal Cassidy character than the Kerouac but that's just me yeah he's playing Moriarty yeah Dean Moriarty yeah and the other guy is someone I've never heard of before a guy named Sam Riley who I don't know does have some a lot of little love stories all through it and ways that he would romance the women and the things that he would use to get them back into his tent or his little flop around has a pretty decent selection of girls in it Kristen Stewart is one of them nice Kirsten Dunst Elizabeth Moss and Alice Brogdon so it has some pretty hot girls in it which always goes a long way towards me actually wanting to see a movie so Viggo Mortensen plays Cassidy I mean Moriarty Moriarty Dean Moriarty was the the pen name of Neal Cassidy that was the character name that was given to him by Jack Kerouac in the books so apparently yes that is what's happening there quite interested in seeing it then yeah I'm also interested in seeing who they're going to have portray Kerouac as himself in this book mm-hmm I'm interested in seeing who they're going to have but yeah Cassidy was definitely the ladies man but not just the ladies man the ladies man yeah I definitely will see it there's I don't think it's going to be something that I go out and I see in the theaters but it will be something that I at least get on HBO on a Saturday night absolutely I actually probably will go out and spend money to see it depending on where it's playing mm-hmm I'm not I'm not going to go see it in 3D IMAX I just don't see that working too well for the film but wouldn't mind going out there into the Lemleys and catching it there yeah I've got one more story I want to do here before we go off to our next break there is a story out of Atlanta about a technology eases the pain of being on the road so much and away from the family good lord can't stop anything can't trust any of these internet sites to give you their news a CNN executive who was caught putting dog poop in one of his neighbor's mailboxes like video caught on video yeah the former president of CNN's headline news found himself in some deep shit last week after he was caught on camera placing a bag filled with dog crap into his neighbor's mailbox a guy named Bob Fernand and apparently he was oblivious to the surveillance cameras that were capturing him and his dog as he looked up his neighbor's driveway then shoved a bag full of shit into his mailbox his neighbor was interviewed he says he can't figure out why he did it but he's not sure why he did it we've always had a rivalry with each other but it's never been anything like this at this point we don't even really care why he did it I mean we know it's a silly thing to do and we're trying to be over it but from such a dignified man this is a very silly prank yeah this guy is 71 years old and he just he apparently just really doesn't like his neighbor very much and felt that he needed some new a new bag of dog poop was he like walking around following his dog poop his dog picking it up as he did it and then like leaving the fresh poo in there or did he take a bag into the bathroom and shit in the mouth that's unlikely he was interviewed yesterday and he was quoted as saying that I'm sorry this was an immature act in response to years of malicious rumor mongering by my neighbor that I consider to be defamation of character so instead of taking him to court I just decided to do this you know what I wish more people who felt wrong by their neighbor would do something as really harmless as this compared to going to court and suing just a waste of time it's just like when okay I bet 71 years old I bet when this guy was younger there was no even idea that people would have cameras up in their neighborhood and things like that so this is a guy who's fallen behind the times and doesn't realize you can't do shit anymore without someone looking at you and who's to say that your neighbor was going to be the one to find the bag first what happens when the mailman walks right through you rolls up in his car or walks up to the mailbox and opens it up it's like oh there's something in here maybe I'm supposed to take this and pulls it out and has to open it up like there's a bag of shit for him to take a whiff of like that makes that's going to make your neighbor look more like an asshole to the the mailman no doubt it's like what did I do to you dude why are you leaving me a bag of shit behind not cool hey you know this final notice on your bill yeah I'm not making sure I'm making sure you don't get that today not cool not cool not cool that is a terrible thing to do to somebody yeah I mean come on don't we all know that if you're going to put shit in a bag you need to light it on fire and put it on your neighbor's front porch and then knock on the door and run Emma there's a there's a flaming bag on the front porch again well don't step in it god damn it devil woman don't tell me what to do there's poop in it I told you not to step in it there's poop there's poop in this bag awesome here we're going to go to our second break of the day once again this is Mr. Sam Tripoli check it out and enjoy part two Ted Ballacher for Reason TV here at the Hollywood Improv we're going to see the naughty comedy show hosted by Sam Tripoli I love Charlie Sheen's dude that guy can do anything he can do whatever he doesn't shock us anymore seriously he could be in blackface in a Mussolini costume butt f***ing Taylor Swift and still we'd just be like oh Charlie first off if there's any kids watching this at home right now if you're watching the naughty show you have bad parents we checked out your naughty comedy show it's pretty wild pretty naughty tell the good people of Reason TV about that I grew up on like I said Sam Kennison Richard Pryor Andrew Dice Clay was this like rock and roll kind of comedy vibe where like when they came to town it was a big event and people knew there was going to be chaos and fun and that's I don't see that anymore so I decided to create the naughty comedy show just a two hour comedy party with adult film stars pole dancing and comics doing jokes they can't do on TV and wild crazy characters that I've created with a friend of mine Jason Tebow and I'm like oh tell me how you got into this dirty business of stand up comedy I've always wanted to be a stand up comic since consciousness I remember being about two years old and having like some vacuum cleaner guy come over salesman when they still did that and I remember throwing down a banana and trying to show them how funny it was me trying to slip on it it's always been in my blood and I've I've always been kind of a troublemaker I enjoy chaos and it's very hard to do that in an office setting all these kids with the internet by 12 they've already seen a chick shitting a cup where do you go from there where do you go from there honestly man you know what I feel bad for the girls growing up the expectation of what they gotta do now what is second base now fisting it's getting weird the rise of the internet has that changed anything it's the greatest thing that ever happened it is the greatest thing that ever happened like I do my podcast now the night show podcast the suits can't control or you know handicap the game and force you to only see these people the internet is like you can find your crowd if you work hard enough you put out a good enough product you can find a crowd and it's the best thing that ever happened and you're a national headliner an international headliner you're a big deal when you go to Texas versus California versus maybe the UK different things set the audience off what are the things that like like if you go towards like San Francisco let's say you start doing Obama jokes make in front of chocolate Jesus people get up all angry and they because they think you're being racist but it's like you're not you're just questioning the guy holding the seat of presidency and then you go let's say to Texas and you start doing George Bush or Dick Cheney jokes people start flipping out about that they're going to a comedy show so it's not like you're just like waking them up in their apartment and insulting their favorite politician it's so weird it's so weird because they have similar political views you start taking it personal it's like people it's become like rooting for a sports team everybody likes to think oh I can laugh at myself and I'm cool you know I'm down with whatever you have to say but you know when push comes to shove it doesn't really happen that way would you say that one side the lefties or the righties are any better or worse at laughing at themselves the progressives will really come there to ready to be offended they have so many rules to what they're laughing at there's so much fine print there's so much fine print there's so much fine print when it comes to political correctness that they come to get offended and it's obnoxious but then you go somewhere and you do maybe some dirty material and in some places they can get really upset with that it's so interesting so it depends on the material but let me tell you something some of my favorite places to perform are red states considered red states Texas can be a lot of fun because you go up on stage you get dirty they go crazy and they have fun and they party let me tell you your average Republican if you really sit him down by himself he's a libertarian he really is he's a libertarian if you really sit him down you go to Arizona it's a blood red state they're really libertarians but they don't want to vote libertarian because they don't think they could win has Ron Paul ever attended the Naughty College show? I would have Ron Paul I actually was doing something on National Lampoon Radio and I wanted Ron Paul on because I felt he was such an amazing person and it was very interesting when you were watching him in the debates he would win the debate and then of course they go to the talking heads and what you saw there was Ron Paul not able to get across his and everyone's like voting like who won? Ron Paul Ron Paul what was it about Ron Paul that appealed to you? because he said the things that I agree with the Constitution you know I'm not into the military industrial complex accountability for these people who I think are just ripping off the American people blind and all that resonated with me and I voted for him I have this dream of Ron Paul Ross Perot Ralph Nader and the Iron Sheik forming Voltron and donkey punching Washington D.C. I'll always vote for the crazy old guy with the weirdest conspiracy theories for now on that's my goal I will never vote Republican or Democrat ever again here's my plan I want to rob a bank take all the money go to a costume store buy all the costumes donate them to homeless shelters okay you're not homeless you're Batman how safe would you feel if there's a superhero on every corner honestly Superman pass on a bench Aquaman dumpster diving Wonder Woman sucking for crack rock come on that was a weird slow laugh in the back but I'll take it so what would President Tripoli do? oh man that's easy I would make drugs legal prostitution legal I'd make any crime that doesn't hurt other people pretty much legal so you're down with the libertarian label you embrace that everybody's got little things here and there but for the most part yeah 100% if you're not harming other people what's the problem? what do you make of very prominent comics like Bill Maher and Jon Stewart who seem to be pretty annoyed with the Tea Party? he pisses me off sometimes Bill Maher I like him I like some of his stuff and I enjoy watching his show in terms of that he brings on different kind of people on you know and I enjoy that and when he's wrong he gets hammered on it I don't enjoy his hatred of Middle Easterns and Muslims because I find that you know he's so sensitive about racism against black people it's like how can you be sensitive about that and then be totally open about being racist against another group of people it makes no sense at all it's offensive to me so are you willing to reveal that you're one of those Middle Easterners? well I'm Armenian which is technically that counts right? well I mean really at the end of the day I mean if we're getting specific it really isn't Armenians are like f***ing hobbits aren't they? they're in one little place they're nowhere else right? it's like Glendale's like the Shire right? anybody? comics are supposed to be rebels they're supposed to you know test the system do you see that in your in other comics or are they kind of freaked out by political correctness too? I find that in LA at least opinions hurt your career what are some of the things you can't say? if you just have an opinion on anything it's really I know it sounds crazy yeah that makes for great comedy no opinions and that's why I think comedy is in the crapper right now what about commercials? that seems to be a bastion of political correctness yeah it's horrible it's horrible I mean like if I see another beer commercial about guys who are wearing short shorts and female bartenders telling us how retarded we are I'm gonna go nuts have you seen these? you are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Grant Thoman yo what's up guys what's up party people this is Jake Belcher and I'm Grant Thoman welcome back to Grand Theft Audio coming at you live from Los Angeles it's skidrowstudios.com Los Hangales Los Angales Los Hangales the city of angels you can't handle Los Angles no you can't you know that you can't okay so this week the Library of Congress has found 25 sounds to add to their registry right and I think they've had recordings correct? they just call them sounds okay because some of them are really simple things like they've documented all the sounds of animals like a lion's roar right and a dog's bark I mean they have a pretty extensive library of things that they have done of sounds but most of those have been documented by now like we know what a humpback whale's song sounds like yes and you can find that in the Library of Congress some of their other sounds that they've added this year they have added a live concert from 1977 of the Grateful Dead wow they've added another 1977 song from the day that she died they decided that they were going to add Donna Summer's I Feel Love okay they've also added a song from Dolly Parton The Coat of Many Colors and Prince's Purple Rain Purple Rain okay that's a another selection as I get looking into it deeper they've actually added some really cool stuff in here they have found a cylinder from a talking doll that was created by Thomas Edison in 1888 okay and they've taken the sounds that that doll made and put it into saved it okay I think that's pretty awesome that is it was considered unplayable until last year then they figured out a new like digital mapping tool to go back and try to reconstruct what was inside of it interesting and revealed that the sound of it was a woman who was singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star wow that's kind of cool that's pretty badass they also found rare audio interviews with former slaves like people who were brought here to America from other countries and like interviews that they that they got on tape I would love to be able to hear this I'm curious as to if they also have like slaves that were born here in the country after their parents had been brought over and they were also interviewed just to because there's so many different stories and different backgrounds that everyone's going to be coming from that would also be very interesting to hear they included one of my very favorite albums of all time I love it I listen to it all the time I listened to it two days ago before I even realized this had happened a album by the Vince Giraldi trio from 1970 which is a Charlie Brown Christmas it's more than just the Christmas time is here I mean there's so many other great little jazzy numbers that you've heard in all the penis cartoons over the years so they've saved that as well it's wonderful that's pretty awesome I love that album man it is just so good other things they've they've added they put in Sugar Hill Gang's Rapper's Delight interesting you know the hip hop the hip hip hop you don't stop they did Parliament's Mothership Connection they did George Clinton's Ain't Nothing But A Party Y'all they did they did Bo Diddley's I'm a Man I am a man I spell M A N man that is one of the dumbest songs of all time I remember it came on the radio once when I was a kid my mom's like I hate this song well it's now saved in the Library of Congress yeah that's not too bad I think it's kind of I like that we have somebody who takes over and does these things and makes sure that these things get saved I agree it's a good it's a nice national registry to show our history over the years and dude I think the Vince Giraldi Trio edition is just spectacular yeah me too I mean that album just makes me feel so good every time I hear it I mean he is a real like musical genius to be able to make kids be able to like jazz you are doing something right absolutely and to Ante since it's a collection of so many eclectic songs that we knew from our past and that our kids will hear because those specials will be on forever yeah that's just pretty sweet forever and ever forever okay we got some funny kind of sports news this week things that I'm not sure even how to to take on number one out of Stanford there is a they will no longer have offensive quarterbacks and they will be the new offensive coordinator at Stanford University okay somebody has come in and given the school five million dollars to establish a scholarship in the name of Andrew Luck wow part of the deal for it though is that they have to call the offensive coordinator now the new position is going to be called the Andrew Luck Director of Offense really? yeah that's pretty crazy that's so very odd apparently this donor just was a big fan of Mr. Luck so I mean he's he's going to now be permanently like attached and tied to that system for forever because once you make an endowment and it's really hard to stop something like that unless someone's going to come in with more money and say well I want to change that name to something else and even then I don't know if you can I mean it's like right you've bought it bought and paid for it is yours I mean is this person going to sell it? I mean that'd be a silly choice to make but hey good for Andrew Luck I guess he will always be tied with college football in at Stanford I mean at least we should remember that Andrew Luck has really nothing to do with this I would imagine he's probably a bit embarrassed by it I mean I wouldn't like that well it all depends because what happens in say 20 years when he's no longer playing he can become the director of offense the Andrew Luck the Andrew Luck director of offense exactly exactly that'll be that's what that's what it's set up for they want him to come back and be a coach for them I've just never heard of anything like this happening before no neither have I named after a former player not a position on a team I mean it's like well so does that mean at some point someone could come up with enough money to say from now on you're not going to have a quarterback it'll be known as the like there's a big enough donation let's say if it was like the Green Bay Packers like so there'd be like would it be like the Brett Favre snap receiver I mean that's hilarious it's very possible I mean until it goes on a little bit longer and this starts becoming something maybe that's done by more teams it's hard to say exactly how that's going to break and happen and you certainly know that they're going to make sure to highlight that whenever Stanford's playing on TV and this is this is the director of offense the Andrew Luck director of offense director of offense so and so which you know formerly known as the offensive coordinator crazy in other football news yesterday the NFL has decided to mandate that players have to wear knee and thigh pads they wear them in every other level I mean you wear them from Pop Warner to high school to college it's mandatory mandatory but it's never been something that you've had to wear in the NFL and NFL players are understandably pissed about it right because they're like oh like we have to we're going to be slow if we wear these knee and thigh pads well great you're going to slow down a little bit it's not going to ruin the game right everyone everyone has to do it and yeah if everyone's going to have to do it it's going to it'll keep the playing feel level and if it means that you perhaps don't sustain a knee injury or a thigh injury and you will be able to play and you don't have to like sit out and lose your paychecks how are you complaining and when you catch someone in the head with a knee or your thigh like now there's some padding on this side too as well absolutely that makes a lot of sense well good I think that's a rule change I am actually pro on I mean protecting your players and making sure that they're going to have a level of longevity in that sport that's just a little bit longer I'm thumbs up for that continuing on continuing on continuing on in football Tim Tebow this week went out and caught Rock of Ages right the new Tom Cruise movie well it's actually a a! a play a musical oh I see he went to see the real musical the real musical he didn't go to see a screening of the film okay now I understand alright so he goes in and catches the musical and people recognize him and he's invited backstage to come meet some of the performers and stuff and he goes back there and a couple of the girls in the cast come around him and they all take a picture together right and one of the girls tweets it out and he then starts asking for the picture to be taken down because he doesn't want to sully his image of being photographed with half naked women which is what he said half naked women now if you take a look at this picture here you can see that there this isn't these women aren't half naked I mean there's a couple of them have like their stomachs exposed but there's no cleavage and there's no there's nothing dirty that's happening there no it doesn't look like in fact the costumes are relatively harmless yeah I mean you see worse things like than this on a high school campus and if you're if you're so worried about a photo like this getting out there in the first place why are you why would you allow yourself to be photographed in the first place just don't take it dummy yeah don't let them take the picture oh sure you can take a picture but please keep it private right or just you want a picture just of me by myself sure fine you can have a picture of me but I mean these four ladies that he's taking a picture with they probably all wanted to be able to put this up on their Facebook to say hey I got a picture with Tim Tebow he was he came and saw our he saw our he saw the musical on Broadway on Broadway so it's not like these are street whores that he's gathered himself around and now he's taking a picture they've taken a picture with him and now he's going to be embarrassed by it I mean these are professional ladies and these are their costuming right these are actresses and these are this is what they have to wear for their parts and you appreciated that when it was on stage but backstage with a photo of you it's not appreciated and it's not like this is LaCasia Fall or like some Vegas halfway nudie show you're not at a strip club getting your picture taken with strippers yep that's right and we see more of those pictures coming out than we see something like this and the guys in those pictures don't ask for those to be taken down in fact they're probably a little proud of it I think it's pretty funny that Tim Tebow asked for this picture to be taken down yeah most people I don't think would ever have noticed that it was ever taken but now it's become a story and it's on the front page of Yahoo and USA Today and now everyone's looking at this picture as opposed to if you had just let it slide off to the side no one would ever have noticed it he just wants to keep trending as long as he sees his name trending on Yahoo or on AOL or Twitter or wherever he's gonna because that's just ridiculous he himself brought more attention to it by asking for that 100% no one would have cared no one would have even looked at it no one would have thought less of him in fact I think more people think less of him now for asking that picture to be taken down I know I do I didn't hold him up in the highest esteem to begin with but to me this is a big ass pussy move yeah yeah aww! poor Tim Tebow poor Tim Tebow having to have his picture taken with some girls who there's not even any cleavage in it now my other question is this is like if there were cheerleaders from the New York Jets who wanted photos with them in their uniforms would he not I guess he'll have to say no to the photos with those girls because they're just as scantily clad I'd say they wear less than these girls yeah they wear the little short shorts and just a little top and they got pom poms and that's about it these women are wearing costumes I mean the woman who has her arm around him and he's got his arm around her she's in this full on gown there's nothing half naked about her to begin with nope not even close it's just there's really two women who are off to the side in it that I mean I would look twice at them if they walked by right but I wouldn't look twice at them and think oh my god I gotta go jerk off right now because I'm all horned up after seeing them exactly which does happen to me sometimes well I look forward to when he and Kirk Cameron team up and you know create some new Jesus religion that probably sounds like that's gonna happen Jesus based religion yep okay last football story of the day Joe Paterno the coach at Penn State who passed away he is finally his family is finally taking his state pension wow all these years his 61 year coaching career has built up a pretty big pension there I would imagine to the point he is now owed by the state of Pennsylvania 13.4 million dollars that's a nice little pension damn dude that's a lot of money I mean at what point like for me I'm trying to think at what point would I sit there and go okay well that's enough that I can now retire I don't have to keep coaching I know I love it he never wanted to retire yeah well yeah obviously he didn't but I mean if there's 13.5 million dollars sitting there waiting for you to do so that's an incentive to do so well the cap on a pension is 240,000 dollars a year okay so he has sat on it for that long now by not taking that money out of the state wow but apparently the rest of his family is not quite as generous for them to not take it they're like wait wait wait he was owed 13.4 million dollars yeah send it yeah we're gonna take where's the check and can we please have it notarized well the first check is due by next Thursday okay otherwise it starts getting huge penalties put on it the wife is going to get a check for 10.1 million dollars with the rest of it to be paid out over the next two years oh that's tough that lump sum up front I don't know if I'd be able to get by for two years it's gotta be terrible I mean this is a family that really really needs it he only made where's that number again he only made 27 million dollars as a coach over his career that's it yeah wow that's kinda low I mean they they really need to figure out and the lifestyle that they grew accustomed to you saw his house when everyone went to it to talk to him after he got fired wow I mean that was that's a mansion it's practically a castle in Pennsylvania no wait no it wasn't no it was a tiny little shit box that looked just like everybody else's in the neighborhood that they probably had lived in for the 61 years that he was the coach well reading on they are actually gonna try to do some good with this they're gonna take a half a million dollars of it and build a catholic center on campus at Penn State oh that's good they're also gonna give a million dollars to a their own foundation the paternal foundation which has made a DVD of the January 26th memorial service and they're gonna use that DVD to send it out to special Olympians as like an inspirational thing for them good cause I don't know if you've ever sat down and tried to watch a DVD with a special Olympian but that works out really really well does it yeah that's that's a a a! wonderful idea actually I think we do have one last football story what do you got well we've got the Bills the Buffalo Bills wide receiver David Clowney got himself I guess what people are calling the TMI Hall of Fame got himself inducted into it because just this past was it Thursday I thought it was it said that but he decided that he was gonna tweet the results of his most recent HIV test well which which fortunately I guess for all the ladies that he had been with all the women he's loved before it was negative so you know to all the girls I've loved before I don't have the HIV so we can pang some more so that was good yeah so good for Mr. David Clowney congratulations on being HIV free and I guess making sure that all the ladies that are out there who hope to love you know that you're clean it's either that or he's going to great extents to cover up the fact that he does have it but wants to be able to continue to get laid that's terrible it's probably accurate but that's terrible I mean it's just it's just really inappropriate it's like taking a picture of your latest dump and sending it out yeah but he really did just take a picture of the test and send it out to everybody like that's just a normal thing to do yeah you would think that would be the type of thing that you know if the girl if she's not quite ready to seal the deal because she's not certain that you're drug and disease free you can say well I don't know about the drug part but look I got a clean bill of health from the doctor no STDs on me what the hell like we have okay so the picture of what he tweeted out has his telephone number on it really can we dial out from here I don't think I can from that that'd be awesome I think the best I can do is go speaker and see if we can get this guy on the air to talk about what he did this would be awesome if he answers hello hello can I help you yeah we were trying to find David Clowney he's not here may I take a message do you know if there's a better time to get back a hold of him no at this number I can only take a message for him okay thanks I'll go another direction okay apparently that was his work number yes who knew how that was straight to the Buffalo Bills head office yeah we just wanted to call about the David Clowney HIV test results yeah I had nothing to talk to you well maybe she'd have a statement for us what's the Buffalo Bills stand on him being HIV free is that a positive or a negative for you guys I mean that is pretty incredible that you couldn't at least like put his thumb over that part of the page right hey now everyone knows the numbers for the Buffalo Bills head office we didn't give it out 716-648-1800 like it wasn't us who gave out the number it was him just out there for everyone to find anyway so I don't feel that bad about having done that I guess maybe off the air we'll have to give a call back and see if Mr. Clowney would be interested in giving us a call well I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know tomorrow on fuck around Friday that is a perfect fuck around Friday because now that he's HIV clear like we know it people should feel free to fuck with him exactly it makes a complete sense okay out of sports news and I don't feel like playing our little bump and switching to something else so I think we just change what we're talking about yesterday Los Angeles has now become the largest United States city to ban plastic bags the LA City Council voted on Wednesday to ban the use they did a 13 to 1 vote so pretty overpowering yeah overwhelming vote where we've been living in the unincorporated area of Los Angeles they've been on a ban now for six months since July of that long yeah so we're almost a year almost like 10 months now and 11 months I guess I think it's probably a good thing for the most part oh I do too I mean it does take a little training to remember to remind yourself you got to bring a bag when you're going to the grocery store but you know once you get into the habit it's not too hard and the thing I just disagree with is because they're also trying to cut back on the number of paper bags is charging for those paper bags which they are doing a 10 cent charge on the use of every paper bag that you use right so you know that's fine but if I bring in my own bag is the city going to give me 10 cents for every bag I bring in because if you're going to charge me for a bag you should refund me money for when I bring my own bag now I think it's Ralph's that kind of has some policy where you get five cents off for every bag they give you five points for whatever they're running like this year they're running a gas thing where you can I guess through Shell you can receive a discount on fuel charges at Shell if you go in and use your card I think I just got one that says I get 70 cents off a gallon right now that's not too bad drop it down to 350 a gallon that's not bad at all I'm sure I will eventually use it I miss the old ones I like getting the coupons for like hey you scored 700 points over the last quarter here's the $7 in free groceries like alright great seven bucks yeah I mean that was much better but the thing is like I used to use all those little plastic bags for things and now I'm actually starting to run dangerously low yeah I used a lot of it for like lining little trash cans and recyclable lunch someplace something that you just didn't care about taking back with you it's like now I actually have to go out and buy those little bags yeah you're gonna have to you're not helping me out here LA City Council I mean look why can't we take all these trash bags and melt them down and fill in all of our potholes please because it's getting effing ridiculous to drive around LA I've got a friend who's got like a 2011 BMW the thing is fucking sick I mean you're in it and you're just like this thing is beautiful it can't take the streets here of LA I mean every once a month he has to put a new tire on because he gets hit with his huge pothole and then like a big bubble comes out of the front of the front of the tire he's having to pay 400 bucks every time he needs a new tire on there and he's ready to switch out for some piece of shit old SUV now just so he can stop having these problems right big tires and big you know stronger suspension is gonna be able to afford to handle the rough terrain that is the streets of Los Angeles I mean just pack these holes in with these plastic bags yeah literally like melt them into the spot melt it down put some type of heating element over the top of it that just liquefies it almost and then solidifies it as it cools and boom smooth streets I mean let's be smart let's do something with our problem yeah especially especially now that the city of Los Angeles is trying I don't think it's passed yet but they're trying to pass an ordinance that says the people who own homes or property or businesses are responsible for maintaining the sidewalks in front yeah instead of the city taking care of any issues it becomes the home or property owner's responsibility my problem with that is okay some of these places have issues with like tree roots that cause these bulges and the cracks those trees were there before I moved in here city of Los Angeles you need to come out and fix it first and I'll maintain it from this point because now I know I have to yeah you can't just make a problem and then leave it to someone else to do I mean if you plant those trees and you're the one who's in charge of them that is now your problem city not ours and if it's the tree that causes the issue fix the problem and then every other kind of repair that comes to the damage I'll handle but I mean there are certain areas that I have ridden on my bike where it's literally a six inch to six to eight inch difference from it from the root pushing up on the sidewalk so you're literally going on a little incline or a bump that's created by this but you want the property owner to take care of that and that just seems ridiculous to me because what's the point of us paying property taxes if we're not going to have the property that's surrounding it the infrastructure sound and solid well let's not give them an idea to give us more property taxes oh no no no I'm not saying that I don't want more property taxes if this money isn't covering these needs so then maybe we do need to have more property taxes you can't you can't trust the government to not do something like that that is what they like to do that's the government's favorite job it's really the only thing they're fucking good at yep passing new laws that are going to make you pay more money especially at the city level it seems give us money give us money we need more we need more as you were saying at the beginning of next month all of the parking in the city of Los Angeles is going to be going up for an hour for the hourly rate it's four dollars an hour outside of our studio right now it is now going to six dollars an hour now that's crazy and all that's going to do is push the prices at the parking structures up another buck or two because it'll still come across as a better deal to park there for eleven dollars for two hours than spend the twelve bucks to the city it's also making it so you're still seeing tons of curbside construction going on right now because most places now are putting in weight sensors so when the car pulls away from the curb it erases the time that's on the meter now that's what Santa Monica has just spent a tremendous amount of their money on to in an effort to increase the revenue from tickets by once that car is there you have your time limit but you cannot re-up you actually have to move your car so that the sensor realizes that the vehicle is gone and you can't and if you if there's time on there when you pull in it won't be by the time you walk up to pay because once it feels a new weight once the weight sensor feels a new vehicle on that spot it immediately cancels out whatever time is left over which is wait a second that's time that's already paid for it no matter who gets it gets it I have an issue with that is making people pay twice for the same amount of time that might be there but not not cool city no not not cool city of Los Angeles and Santa Monica not cool at all suck my dick you can't city that's why I take the Metro it is a cheaper alternative and you know what it's quite pleasant usually for the most part and if more normal regular people would use it it would get nicer and nicer and just add more trains yeah the dealio now is that when you go out in a less populated time it is pretty easy to run into bums that you don't really want to have to deal with yeah the bums never go away like they're riding it it doesn't matter what you think is going on because it's not because the bums are have a different plan they but what I do appreciate about the bums is they do tend to not ride at least in the early rush hour they're sleeping in under a bush they're still asleep they have no reason to wake up early in the morning a bum's best plan is to sleep as late into the day as possible and then start bumming for money yeah because you don't want to have to wake up early and hungry and then have to figure out wake up at six and have to start bumming at that point hell no you want to wake up about two in the afternoon right and then get started and then that's ideal time for a few fewer meals you have to feed yourself it makes it so you're up late so when so many restaurants throw away so much food at the end of the day that you can go and do your dumpster dive in and well I loved you that several years ago you started hearing about restaurants that were they were offering whatever was left you know the homeless could come by and they'd be able to get stuff to go most of those places had to abandon that why because they were winding up with lines that were wrapped around the block hours before they could get through and they were closed so that these people were like milling about the restaurant while the paying customers were coming in waiting for whatever was going to be for dinner wow so I mean it's a nice idea I love the thought that you want to try and do this for the homeless but you know I guess I guess they're going to eat you'd have to do it someplace else you wouldn't be able to do it right out your back door just too many people too many bombs coming by especially terrible man it's terrible so what a what a shame for for the bums yeah I feel bad for him I mean you're kind of heartless if you don't yeah I'm not a heartless person okay got some other stories we have a story out of Eugene Oregon where the daughter-in-law of Nike co-founder Bill Bowerman has who has served as a volunteer high school track and field coach was fired this week after an investigation proved that she escorted a 17 year old member of her boys and boys track squad to the school's prom right as reported by the Associated Press the 41 year old Melissa Bowerman the daughter-in-law of the waffle soul inventor for Nike took a 17 year old boy to his track team to his school prom after the runner told her that he lacked a date and he got depressed and he stopped running in his in his track on his track team so as a way of helping the boy out and trying to get him motivated to do his best to improve his grades and she she told him that if he got his grade point average of one point that she would go with him to prom so this seems like it's a really nice thing of this lady to do absolutely she's not some seemingly crazy person that is touching boys in class or anything this seemed like it was all legitimate and and she and she is volunteering her time as the track coach yeah so I mean it's not like she's a paid member of the faculty but they fired her didn't they they sure did they did they only danced one song all night long they spent the rest of the evening playing ping pong and foosball and like and she got approval from the boys parents that the father even saying that Melissa has been like a surrogate mom to these kids for years and the fact that she would do this for my son means so much so there's no problem from the family there's no problem in anyone saying that it was anything improper it's just the fact that that the fact that she's she took a boy to prom yeah it there there's there's just the the thought that the it's I don't know the the the I'm trying I'm trying to think of what I'm trying to say here the improper there's there's the thought that there might be something inappropriate that could have gone on but I mean she was surrounded by other kids these people these these students know her as a coach she's not there being a predator of any kind she was just trying to be a you know like like you said a good surrogate mom somebody who's going to look out for this kid now anyway seriously how do you fire a volunteer you can basically say you're no longer allowed to come on campus I guess but didn't they all I mean here here's the thing is didn't her family also donate like money to help give them like a state-of-the-art track tons of money yeah tons of money they they new uniforms a new track to be able to run on and basically they've taken this tiny little school and they built it into a powerhouse program in the state of New York and they've built it into a school and they've built it into a school and they've built it into a school and they've built it into a school and they have it for track and field that's how many places can claim that I mean and have the type of person who wants to help promote this kind of of activity it's like um the key to me is that they have the parents permission and the parents permission should trump like what the school thinks it should happen well it's funny that you mentioned that because I have a story this isn't a posted story this is something that somebody told me but one of the local schools here in California they have a school that's called the school of the perfect attendance there's usually an award that goes to you like they give you a special day where you will actually get to get out of going to school but it's an excuse it doesn't count against you and usually in the past they've gone to see movies which is really quite nice especially for you know 13 and 14 year olds in junior high this year though they're going to Chuck E. Cheese because one of last year's parents even though they signed the permission slip saying that it was okay for their child to go to school they're going to go to Chuck E. Cheese because one of last year's parents even though they signed the permission slip saying that it was okay for their child to go to school they're going to go to Chuck E. Cheese because one of last year's parents even though they signed the permission slip saying that it was okay for their child to go see this movie and I don't remember what movie it was but it was a PG 13 movie after they found after the fact they went to complain to the school saying well I don't think it was appropriate for them to go see this PG 13 film that's why there was a permission slip sent home that's why you were supposed to read it before you signed it and said it was okay for your kid to because if it wasn't appropriate something else could have been done at that time but instead because it's not even affecting her child this year this year they have to get these 13 and 14 year olds get to go to Chuck E. Cheese and they have to bring in their own money to do so that's exactly what I'm sure they want to do oh absolutely because you know the 13 and 14 year olds are totally looking forward to hopping around in the ball pit with a bunch of six and seven year olds I it's just a sad it's a sad state when you have when you have a parent who agrees with something to begin with but then does then then reneges on it and then damn renegers well I mean how do you go and complain about something that you knew that you should have known in the first place I mean do you have any experience with that did your child forge your signature to be able to go I you never know you never know did you ever forge your parents signatures on anything not that I can recall I did it once with my mom yeah I usually was you know I was pretty good it permission slips or something of the other kind of of the past it seems but because I don't remember the last time I had to get one sign even in high school I don't remember having to get that permission getting them signed then I just I just don't you know I guess I do I guess when we went to see Hamlet we had to get that's right a permission slip sign but that's the last one that I remember I which I remember I didn't even watch because I ditched it yep went out on the whole bus trip and then the scheme scooted away as soon as the movie started yeah it's don't trust me Mel Gibson's Hamlet don't don't trust me you didn't miss out man I am sure that that is true okay so next story with kids and adults a Washington state man who was fed up with a group of noisy moviegoers that were sitting behind him stepped over the seat and blew the door open and punched a ten-year-old boy right in the face nice the man who told police that he thought the person he hit was a grown man was watching Titanic in 3d with his girlfriend and had asked the people who sitting behind him to please quiet down and stop throwing popcorn at me they just laughed at him of course as we all would have at that age he got so mad that he says it just happened the ten-year-old boy lost a tooth and had a bloody nose in the confrontation and I'm sure he was arrested and held overnight spent the night in jail and then was released the next day he has to come back on the 26 which I guess is Thursday or something if he's convicted he could be sentenced to three to nine months in jail mm-hmm assaulting a kid crazy that's that's nuts man so the boy who is identified in the police report but I don't want to say his name because he's underage was at a theater with three friends they they met the police in the lobby afterwards they said they were watching the movie and talking with the kids and they were talking about the movie and talking when Kim just told them to please be quiet they say they quieted down but then the guy turned around and whispered something at Adam again and then just jumped over his seat threw a nice drink right in his face and then punched the boy in the face the boy said that he said something to in the effect of you know what I paid a lot of money for these tickets I'm gonna beat your ass I don't believe a single word those kids say yeah it's pretty unlikely okay number one if he threw a school lesson on you you know you have to have a lesson to learn to stop being wet because that would have been put in the police report that that he started off by throwing a drink at the kid uh-huh so that obviously is a lie right there no ten-year-old after you tell him to quiet down once quiet down completely and then a second time doesn't quiet down completely it certainly seems like it's probably the third time that he turned around and punched the kid no I've never gotten that angry at a person that I felt like I needed to turn around and punch them in the movie I could though if I was being forced to watch Titanic in the movie I could have been forced to be a kid yeah being forced because you're yeah my anger levels I think could rise to that point where I just felt like unhinged and I had to do something about it I want to know what the kid the ten-year-olds were doing watching Titanic 3d I bet they were disappointed probably the first half of that movie is just god-awful boring like I love you you want you want to know what else I must paint your picture the second half wasn't all that exciting either yeah I mean there's it everyone says like oh it's an hour and a half of them good stuff and an hour and a half of boring stuff no no no no it's two hours and 55 minutes of boring stuff in about five minutes worth of good stuff right last five minutes where he dies yeah like when he floats down to the bottom of the earth and or the bottom of the ocean like yeah that I must use the n word a nincompoop that nincompoop is dead ha ha thank God it means it's almost over I mean this is a place where there used to be somebody who helped in this situation there used to be an usher indeed and the usher would come in and they would say or they would come in and they would say shh or they would toss people out if they were being nuisances but um you know but if you do that you got to refund them their money now which I disagree with I don't think you have to if you if you're gonna make the movie going experience negative for everybody else in that theater it's time for you to go and don't come back and no you don't get your money back it should be like um if you are if you're kicked out then you definitely shouldn't get the cash back but we should be able to afford to have this person here I mean you can't just hang 17 bucks or something like that for a ticket for a movie and 3d yeah and you can't afford to have some kid who's making minimum wage come through there and just make sure that nobody's being a dick especially especially if you know there's gonna be kids in those theaters and the thing is man going to a theater has gotten worse and worse and worse I mean there's always somebody who has their cell phone out and they're talking to a friend on it there's somebody who has their cell phone out and they're texting on texting somebody they don't even bother like turning down the brightness of their screen you'll be seven rows away from somebody and you see like these little just illuminates through up in front of you yeah it's awful and more and more and more theaters are actually accepting that because they don't want to lose the revenue from the teenagers who apparently have the need to do that fuck movie screw theaters in I like the idea a couple years ago where they're putting like netting in the walls for something the arc light theaters are very much like that where they have a net system that goes through and completely blocks out the theater's cell phone transmissions you can't you you won't be able to receive a signal in the theater so just turn it off I mean it makes me it makes me kind of pine for the days where we didn't have this level of technology I mean when think about it when our parents would go out for dinner or to go out to see a movie or something you did a couple of things you gave the baby you found a babysitter you didn't take the kids with you because there was no reason to do so and then you would leave a list of phone numbers of what you were going to be and if there was an emergency you needed to call these numbers you didn't have to give them a cell phone number you didn't ever have to call them and the parents didn't bother I don't recall my parents ever calling to check in on us to make sure that we were okay because that's what the babysitter was for we don't have that everybody has to take their kid with them and you have to have that cell phone if you don't take him with them that cell phone is on and ready for any kind of issue I don't know what rating Titanic had but there should be parents with these kids mm-hmm but it's just so parents are so lazy now they just want to send their kids off to do anything but talk to them that I'm there's just gonna be more and more of these types of problems indeed it's a shame a low-down dirty shame but a shame none the less it's awful another story I have a kid another story that was just awful there's this a new TV show that was being sponsored by Pepsi mm-hmm and it is a show about about horse racing it's a dressage racing jumping so it kind of takes a look at like the three main things that people compete with with horses right and equestrianism there was some controversial footage that aired this week from the walking horse national celebration and the show was showing feet soaring like where the when horses get sore feet they'll go in it'll just cut growth off of the side of their of their home and it's just so hard to watch that Pepsi has now decided to pull their advertising from the show that's surprising because this is something that just happens regularly I know I know it's I have seen it happen and it is not an easy thing to watch but it's it's all part of the show and it's it's all part of practicing the sport these animals have to be sometimes there's gonna be a section of the hook that's gonna have to be it's like cutting a nail it really is you're shaving off a section of it because it's obviously causing discomfort and what you're doing is going to alleviate that pain and make it so that the horse can continue to perform when you see it like that that makes a lot of sense to me I just didn't know that the hooves continued to grow like that yeah did not know that yeah now I'm kind of like know that they're not going to be able to pull their cash I mean do they not know enough about like horses for them to have decided not to pull their cash they obviously got some phone calls from people who felt it was inappropriate for them to be sponsoring a show that showed what what some people might consider cruelty to the animal when all in all actuality it's part of the daily you know regiment these horses that do have to go through what horses actually have to do mm-hmm but they do have to do now I don't even know what to say about that one so I'm gonna skip on past it okay so there's a new video coming out on the video that came out on Wednesday it is a video of a South Carolina Union leader who has a made a pinata featuring a likeness of the state's governor mm-hmm and her just beating the shit out of this pinata that's right this is at the same time this is a governor she's a Republican governor who has stated that unions are not wanted to is North Carolina yeah South South Carolina that unions are not welcome in South Carolina not needed wanted or welcome right South Carolina right which is total BS and I mean she's letting her partner bring baloney sandwiches I'm sorry it just unions do protect certain workers and they are necessary because if not they wouldn't have the they wouldn't be able to make the living that they do I'm not I'm not a pro-union guy but I do understand the necessity for them and you know what it's not like they were burning an effigy of this woman it was a pinata that had that had a photo of her face on it and she was beating up a pinata of a person you know what I don't I don't understand what the big issue is. We see this stuff all over the country, all over the world, where these things are lit on fire. I mean, effigies of like our presidents we'll see that'll be hanging somewhere and these radicals will burn it. This is a woman who just feels that the governor has made a bad choice and doesn't want to try and negotiate or work with the unions. So we're going to show her our disappointment in not wanting to work with us. So I don't have a problem with it. Did you see the video? Yeah, I watched the video. She definitely was going off a little bit crazier than she should have been. Maybe if she'd kept more of her cool while she was doing it as opposed to grunting so much while she was doing it. It looks like she's really getting pleasure out of beating this fake piece. She had a bunch of people like rooting her on as well, right? And the thing is like she's a fucking cheater. Like she has no blindfold on while she's hitting. Was there any candy that came pouring out of her? She was done? No, but it's just like if you are hitting a pinata, you're supposed to have a blindfold on. She's both cheated and a cheater because she doesn't get the candy after doing so. But she's also, yeah, so she's thusly cheated and then she's also cheating because she doesn't have the blindfold on, which would have made it probably a lot funnier to see her trying to take a swing at that thing, especially with the guy with the rope who's pulling it up. Oh, you missed. Oh, you missed again. A rough, violent week out there this week, dude. A group of 18 people. They're dressed in black, wearing masks, wielding steel batons and hammers, and claiming to be extreme anti-racists allegedly stormed a suburban Chicago family restaurant in broad daylight to assault a meeting, to assault a meeting of alleged white supremacists. So 10 people were injured in the melee and at least three required treatment for head wounds as a result of the attack. The group did $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. $15,000. And then for some reason, all the waiters decide to get involved and start fighting on the side of their customers. Right. So I couldn't imagine being in that situation where you are, like you're serving a group of 12 businessmen from Pasadena or something and here comes some dudes wailing on them with sticks. What do you do? I'd be going after the guys who were wailing on my customers. I mean, that's what you do. The other 18 are the ones who are taking money out of your pocket by doing this. I want you guys out of my restaurant. I want my customers to be safe and happy and hopefully if I'm able to defend them, they'll appreciate that and continue to return to the restaurant. It certainly is a great way of getting people to never come back there again though. Well, you see the video and there's tables getting thrown across the room, food spilling all over the floor and marching out and you see the waiters coming across and they're taking swings at the people. I'd grab a tray and throw it in the trash can. I'd start just beating on somebody. If I saw one of my customers being assaulted, self-defense. Is it self-defense if you're not really the one who's being attacked? If you're protecting somebody who's being attacked, it's considered self-defense because that person could potentially turn on you. You can come to aid to someone who's getting the shit kicked out of them. That makes sense so that you aren't held liable for helping somebody else. Now granted, after the person has stopped attacking the person and you continue to beat on them, that's when you're in the wrong. That's when you're assaulting somebody. But you can stop an assault by using force if necessary. I mean, I like the idea of anti-racists coming together trying to stop the race baiters and stuff. But anytime that you have to put a mask over your head to hide your identity, it's probably an event that you should avoid. It's usually a good sign that maybe the... And iron pipes and hammers as your choice of weapon also. Yeah. I mean, you got to think about it when you're getting together. Like, hey, who's got the lead pipe? Who's got the lead pipes? Hey, does someone have a spare hammer I can borrow? What are we doing? I thought we were just going for like some coffee cake. Yeah. Aren't we going to have pie? Aren't we going to go have pie? Cake and pie? This seems like it's some 1960s shit, doesn't it? It certainly does. Like it's straight out of Alabama or something. Kind of. But hey. It seems like in some way that we're sliding backwards every day. There's just one more story about like, the breakdown of our society and how things are supposed to work with each other. If you really have a problem and you're pretty sure that this is a group of racists getting together, why don't you like call the police and have them pay attention to what they're doing and see if... Right, right. Keep an eye on them and make sure they're not doing anything that would be constituted as illegal. Yeah. Or infiltrate the group yourself. Instead, go out. These guys are going to go out and get their ski masks and their Trayvon Martin... Hoodie. Hoodies and just get together so that they can beat up some white people. Indeed. And honestly, like racism comes from every side. It does. These people haven't done anything to prove to me that they are not racist themselves and they just hate white people. Right. Believe it or not. Exactly. It's just... Isn't it racism itself? Some people do hate white people. I don't know why, but it happens. I don't either. I mean, I understand why they hate blue people. That blue man group just pisses me off every time I see them. Knuck them figures. Figure that one out at home. Yeah. I got to say, I have been distracted most of this entire show. With the screen? The screen not being out. The screen not telling me how much time we have left in the show. I really have no idea how close my clock is to being on to anything. The whole call things and the computer not really working. And then we've got Adelante. Yeah. Which is, honestly, this magazine has the gayest thing I've ever seen in my life. I opened up the back page of it, you know, see what's going on in it. Uh-huh. Because you didn't want to go to the centerfold. I completely understand. Yeah, that's true. There is a picture on here. Brandon, describe what is happening in this picture. There are four what appear to be Latin gentlemen, completely naked, covered in chocolate, and apparently smearing it and licking it off of each other's bodies. That looks like it's going to be a nasty sauna to clean up. No, that would not be fun. Because they are definitely sweating their way right through the Hershey sauce. I really hope that's Hershey sauce. There's so much of it on his back. If that's not what it is, then I'm not sure. What's above him? That's what you want to know. What might be dripping down on them? Yeah, this guy is holding, oh, this guy is squirting soap from high. The guy with his hand there looks like he's got some. Oh, that's what that is. Oh. Yeah, that's. Wow. I don't know who had the. Adelante, man. How would I know who brought this in to the studio? Who had the last show? Dude, and it's in English inside. Why is everything in Mexican? I'm in Spanish. Whatever you call it. On the outside. But then all the interviews and things are on English. All the writing's on English on the inside. I don't know. This is just to fucking trick white people into not picking it up. I bet this whole thing's about the revolution and how they're going to take over California now. Velvet Mafia. That's how they get in touch with each other. Velvet Mafia. Okay. Hey, we got to do our last. It certainly looks like all the advertisements are just for gay clubs. Yeah. And gay festivals. There's not a lot of straight. No, there isn't. I will have to say that that is true. Hey, before we go, I want to do what we do every day. And I can't believe that we didn't start our day off this way. Well, it's because our day didn't start off the usual way. Yeah. So it's time to know like what type of holidays you should be and can be celebrating today. Now, we only had a couple today, correct? Right. But we do have a couple of things that were happened this month that we haven't covered yet. Oh, goody. We have Older Americans Month. Okay. We have. Define older. Yeah, older than me, I guess. That's how I always look at it. If you're older than me, then you're old. Hey, it's your month, man. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. Son of a bitch. You got one month left or something, right? A couple to go. Lucky me. I'm still only 37. This is the start of Week of Solidarity with the People of Non-Self-Governing Territories. So I guess, um, Tibet. Like you're supposed to stand up with the people of Tibet or something. Okay. Also, the, uh, today is the start of, uh, Old Time Player Piano Week. Yesterday was Old Time Piano Player Day. Awesome. So why they have them in a different day than the actual week is, I don't know. Hmm. That's, that's an odd one to me. Nothing like the old timey player piano. Um, today's the 24th, right? Indeed it is. Uh, so today is beep, beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, Morse code day. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Morse code day. Uh, that's all we've really got for today. We do have a couple this weekend and the list is huge. So why don't we do what you can celebrate on Saturday today and we'll do what you can celebrate Sunday and Monday tomorrow. Okay. Uh, Saturday is, um, Amateur Radio Appreciation Day. Cacao baby. That's our day tomorrow, huh? Awesome. Yeah. That's always the Saturday before, um, uh, Memorial Day. So that's not too bad. Uh. And also the, um, National Shave Off where if you've got something on your face that, um, maybe shouldn't be there, you grab that razor and beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Time for a nice clean trim. Yeah, it might go that way. I got some big ass L's on my face right now. You do. They're, they're getting pretty scruffy and big. Uh, it's also, uh, Sierra Club Day. So, um, that's always the Saturday before Memorial Day as well. F those guys. Uh, Wyatt, what do you got against Sierra Club? Uh, I think they, I think they, they go too far. Sometimes, actually, you know what? It's not the Sierra Club. I'm, I'm mistaken. I'm thinking of like Greenpeace. Sierra Club's actually pretty good because of all the work that they've done in, in the Eastern Sierras and such and trying to keep, uh, our, our forests and our, and our national parks, you know, strong and healthy. So not those guys. I'm sorry. I was thinking Greenpeace. I don't like Greenpeace. Yeah. You don't like Greenpeace. I don't like Green Day. We're, we're in cahoots with each other. Indeed. There are a couple of things that are coming up this weekend that I definitely will celebrate. Um, I, I, you know, I said I was going to save it for tomorrow, but I'm too excited. Uh, Sunday is National Hug Your Cat Day. Oh, aren't you lucky. Maybe you'll get lucky and your cat will bring you a treat. Like a, like a still life mouse or something. And then you can give her a hug. Nuggle up with my little gorilla. Okay. Tomorrow's show. Tomorrow's show, um, is going to feature the return of Miss Rachel Butera. Excellent. From the Howard Stern Show. Totally excited to get her back. She's going to be here for both of them. Yeah. Yeah. The show is being held at 12Hours is our Fuck Around Friday co-hosts, correct? And, um, you have an invite out to one person. I have an invite out to another. So, we'll see who- We'll see who shows up. It's Fuck Around Friday. Who gives a shit? Right. I mean, we're going to get ourselves ready for our nice long weekend of debauchery and fun times. Just relaxing. Maxing, relaxing, try to get some pool time in and that type of jazz. Yep. Maybe some barbecue and then- I can dig that all night long. Indeed. Uh, well, we have a couple of seconds. I also want to remind you to go out and check out Grand Theft Audioradio.com. You can see our selection of past interviews with over 300 people now. Can you believe we've had 300 people in the studio? That's crazy. You know what? That makes sense after as many years as we've been doing this now. 300 people. You can also go to facebook.com forward slash Grand Theft Audio Radio and like us on there. You can go to twitter.com forward slash Grand Theft Audio. Oh, at Grand Theft Audio, correct. If you want to send us a message. Oh, that's right. That's right. But the only messages we get seem to be junk mail bullshit. Awesome. So this is Jake Belcher. And I'm Brant Thelman. I'm saying thanks for listening and we hope you have a great day and come back tomorrow and we'll get you all ready for your wild weekend.