First show discussing sex, love, and cultural differences in sexuality

so hi good evening welcome to the first show this is sex and deputy I'm dr. Limor Blanco block man alongside my beautiful co-host Luann Hernandez how are you honey I'm good how are you doing good good good it's a nice evening we're like boiling in here yeah which is 110 degrees and yeah and I have a confession it's like just before we came in my sleeve my sleeve kind of and yeah there's a big yeah there's a big chance that by the end of the show I'm gonna be able to do it again be topless yeah so I suggest yeah if anybody you know they can just stick around yeah I mean happening you're sure it's coming off just I'm losing my shirt we haven't even started exactly this is a big mic standing right here no complaints here no we're good so yeah so how are you honey I've been good I've been really good uh as you know the holidays have been good to me with my wonderful new love so that's been exciting we're gonna talk about it somehow it will always be incorporated yeah but you know we're we're um for the first show we kind of want to smooth in and not scare anybody right and uh so we suggested something kind of easy easy little ease your way in move it up get it yeah but later we're gonna fuck you over really yeah we're gonna what oh is that good okay so so you want to present the topic today right the topic today is fucking having sex and making love is there a difference if so what is it that sounds simple right super easy yeah of course yeah so let's let's what do you think what would you're in love right now so it's kind of sickening so I know so you start and tell me what you think because I have so much to say about these topics that it's kind of really I don't know you could go on for the whole hour I can go on so yeah and it's going to be shameful so let's have you start well I was giggling because I'm like fucking having sex and making love or as I like to call it my last weekend that's terrific so which part because I want to I want to let's start with the first part of the show because I want to let's start with the first part of the show because I want to let's start with the first part of the show and ask what does that mean I mean like fucking we all know hopefully because I come across some people that don't but we'll leave it for after let's start with the making love part so what does that mean I mean you know it's it's terrible let's just hear yes well I mean I was just thinking about what making love is to me and it's like this like very emotional connection it's like you're there in the moment and you're there in the moment and you're there in the moment and you're there in the moment with this one person and you're just in in the moment looking each other's eyes just holding each other and caressing and being very gentle and sweet with each other and you feel connected emotionally to the person in addition to the physical intimacy so looking at each other's eyes that means you have to be missionary you could do it cowgirl you could look at each other's eyes that way it's kind of far it's gonna you know off-site because I know because I'm curious so you were making love all weekend well making love having sex and really just fucking it this is where I'm asking because are they all one one thing are they're all in the same because if you are saying that you are making love and fucking and having sex with your boyfriend yes your boyfriend so um what's the difference between making love and что что что что что like oh and then we like start you know starts like oh either we're already naked or somehow got naked you better be naked or you forget say well no i mean if you're having that conversation you don't always have conversations naked sometimes but not all the time i prefer yeah okay i'm gonna i'm look it's really i'm sweating crazy like oh thank god that my sleeve is like taking itself apart okay and then the happy sex is kind of a little bit of like okay we still care about each other and we're still emotionally connected but we're also kind of trying to get off you know you're okay well i'm hopeful yeah but hope for making love you don't have to get get off all the time it's not necessarily about that for either one of us and like that was one of the things that i kind of you know i feel like is a little bit too much emphasis on is on both partners orgasming and a lot of times like i will get there but that's a that's a very good start because you know that the the proportions are i know i know it's shocking to me i'm like wait so i don't understand what happened like yeah so what were you doing what were you doing there could you repeat that okay so you're saying that the climax is less important yes to women in general no no no i don't think that i don't think it's like a i mean for both partners when we're making love it's it's like the climax isn't the important part it's really just that emotional connection being expressed physically and it's not necessarily about getting there at least yeah it's not about that at that point when i'm having sex i better fucking get there you know yeah i mean really i would get this i mean what the fuck are you doing exactly what the the hour i mean that i'm spending here looking in your eyes okay yeah so let's just establish the idea that to begin with mating is probably the single most important thing that a human can do because we're spreading our dna let's start with that so you know to begin with but the question is i want to like try and get down to the to the bottom of it if it's really like is it gender related is it really men prefer to fuck women prefer to have sex to make love is there any any anything you know supporting this theory that men prefer short-term relationships that men prefer to have more sex and women prefer to have long-term or something committing is there anything to it i don't really think so personally i think some i think there are some men out there that really want to be in a long-term committed relationship and you know i you know you always hope that you find them yeah oh you don't and you know there are a lot of women out there who don't want to be in a long-term relationship and i feel like right but you know i feel like the problem is when you try to make an apple and orange you're never going to be happy you know when you try to force a man that doesn't want to be in a long-term relationship into a long-term relationship the only person that's going to be upset is yourself if you're a woman and you don't want to be in a long-term relationship and then you're with some guy who's like oh my god but i love you life is beautiful so yeah let's let's get down to that are men more romantic than women i mean there's an assumption and people will be shocked but there are studies that may show that men are more romantic than women and that men tend to fall in love at first sight and develop all sorts of feelings and um then be brokenhearted when it's not working correctly is that does that make sense oh it totally does i boys will do i'm sorry i call them boys boys boys up until they're up until they're 99 i tend to fuck men but let's call them boys i don't know some of the ones that we've talked about it's like okay they're they're grown men looking yes they have a grown penis but yes okay let's keep going so um i don't even remember what we were talking about we were talking about men being romantic that's how pathetic it is this is why you don't remember i know i mean look at this mic okay men are like so much i mean i don't know i think a lot of men are way more romantic and i don't know if it's because they think that's going to get them laid i don't know if it's because they genuinely are more romantic but i know i don't do nearly as much to show my affection as male partners have done for me okay so this is something that you've came across multiple times dating yeah yeah and you didn't come across assholes that are interested only in having sex with you never no that would never happen no no okay no oh yeah there are a lot of pieces of shit out there okay no because we need to talk about yeah and i find nothing wrong with it if that's what you're going to say that that is if you're going to pretend that it's like oh no like i still want to fuck you but you know i don't want to have any emotional connection with you and then but i still don't want you to fuck anybody else oh okay we're not gonna go into the monogamy because i'm gonna go burst out here yeah but i'm saying like call call a fucking spade a spade if you're fucking it's fucking and that's cool but don't try to create some sort of emotional attachment to it if you're out there and you're having sex and you're like you know what i kind of want to have something to do with you and i'm like okay i'm going to be a little casual and fun and it's exciting and it's you know we we hang out we do stuff together that's cool if you're going to be making love then you better freaking follow it up with actually having some sort of emotional connection commitment whatever it is that you want to do so you think people come into a relationship knowing or whatever like a sexual situation knowing that they want to make love or have sex or fuck do they know initially i think that что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что I'm like, that was it. But then it was like this kind of like drawing it out. And I'm like. So you think when it comes to fucking, you really want to have no. It's fine. Let's just not, let's not pretend it's something it's not. So women do that too. Oh, I think men and women both do it. I think that's the biggest mistake a lot of women make. Is they think that they can't fuck with no strings attached. Because you totally can. And I think that a lot of women can if they want to. Well, you know, let's really analyze this. Because a few studies actually show. I'm going to go crazy on it and Darwinian on it. But a bunch of behavioral psychologists, evolutionary psychologists. Would say that in general, you know, going in. For instance, the anthropologist Helen Fisher. Who is a very known one. Claims that we. All go into. And that, you know, that is really being supported by empirical studies. That is that we all go into some sort of a sexual scene. In some, you know, expectation to have an emotional connection. And whether it is the male part or the female part of this situation. They both are aspiring to have something more meaningful. Even when it comes to. Fucking. Right. Allegedly. Or just, you know, having a one night stand. Or something that is more subjected to short term. We all kind of plan. That's what she says. That according to studies. That's what it shows. That even men showed even more intense tendency towards it. Like very similar to women. But it was kind of like 50% of the women. Hoped to have a relationship. And 52%. And 52%. And 52%. And 52%. And 52%. And 52%. And 52%. And 52%. And 52%. And 52%. что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что men are expected to be assholes and score Because no no no I'm using terms. Yeah, I'm using terms that are being used in culturally Yeah, and I'm gonna go into the cultural aspect of it but then Sabo wrote an article about the whole duality of the athletes And he said that on one hand you're expected that you know the whole frat boy society is actually encouraging you to score and your score is her defeat and If you manage to score, you know with more women you're actually more manly and that makes you but on the other side You have this emotional conflict that you want to feel Connected and close and maybe romantic, but you can't you can't allow it because you know Because you'll be looked down on and kicked out of your frat Right And people will say you're not a man you don't have balls. You don't score. You're a pussy. Pussy is a wonderful thing I think that's wonderful. But you know, I hate the fact that men use it as like a way to insinuate that you're a Less of a man, but well, you are a woman In general, so what do you think I mean, is that like a cultural thing that we are pushed? Absolutely. It's a cultural thing You know, I feel like our society creates this weird fucked up like relationship of men equating like Sex with like conquest and like you're saying but in reality underneath all of that bullshit that all these guys create is this little boy you know or a sweet gentle like person that actually wants to be seen and loved and I think the rabbi that was at your Last talk you said it right like we all want to be irreplaceable to someone who is not a man. And I think that this culture that is created where it's treating men I teaches men that like yeah being a man is like fucking bitches all the time and it's like yeah, being a man is not about that and I kind of I Think the problem is that for whatever reason it keeps getting Perpetuated and not only with male culture like males like culture and frats and you know athletes and all of that But also with women like we expect It to we know our way. I mean, what do we expect we expect to be treated badly? Like what we were talking about like if a man isn't well like Schooled in sexuality or schooled in sexual like ability we kind of make it seem like something's wrong with him But why is that why do you mean that way like? We all know my dear sweet boyfriend Okay, and you know I he was like really worried that when he told me that up until last year that he was a virgin that that would turn me off and Why would he have that idea because women are turned off by that sometimes and it's not just yeah and it's not just like it's not just men that are turned off by that because a lot of women are too and that's That he doesn't have experience right is that okay and the fact that it's not more like oh like I've been around around I know what to do down there. Oh, they know shit. Here's the thing. I was like, he knows what to do down there. I was like, fast learner. That's terrific. He's being trained right now. Excellent. Yes, do a good job. Thank you. Please. It would be weird, but I'd be like, no, I'll show you what he does. Get down to business. Okay. But you know, I mean, I don't, that's what I mean in that sense. It's kind of like if a woman isn't as sexually experienced, we're like, oh, well, that's fine. She's just saving herself and it's whatever. We create this like weird, sick thing. So we are doing it as a culture. Yes. Western society sees women still as demure, as the coy sex. It doesn't really matter that the one that screams in bed, damn the fucking neighbors. Yes. Is the woman. But okay. I mean, we're still like. Being looked at as the coy sex, the one that is not really interested. I'm not initiating. I'm just saying. Yeah. I don't really want to fuck. Please fuck me now. Yes. Okay. So it's a dual message. Yeah. Problem. And, and it's been, you know, as you said, perpetuated by society. And so we expect men to be the conquesters, to be the ones that are initiating. That are seeking out the woman. To like. I don't know what. Don't women really want to be banged against the wall and taken? I think a lot of women do want. I mean, I know I do every once in a while. All the time. Okay. I mean, there are days where I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I, you know, hey, let's just bring it down a notch. But yeah. So there are days that you prefer making love versus having sex or fucking? Oh, yeah. So you kind of. You kind of take your pick. Exactly. And I think that in a healthy. According to mood. Yes. And I think in a healthy relationship, all three are at an interplay. Like you can do in any one of those. And it's like you, you still care about each other after. You still love each other after. You still have a lot of respect for each other. I think the part where it's really fucked up is where there's no respect. And that is just an inherently. Between, between the man and the woman. Between the partner. Yeah. That's, that's ridiculous to begin with. If you are in a, you're talking in a relationship. Oh, I just mean in general. Okay. Yeah. If there's no respect being shared between the two partners, then that's really fucked up. But that's where I think the problem, you know, when we're talking about the frat boy culture, this disrespect for women, that's what it it's, you know, it's about. It's like they're not seen as a person. They're seen as a piece of ass to be taken when they want. And just started. A glory hole. Huh? A glory hole. Exactly. Because it really doesn't matter. I love being viewed as a glory hole. Yeah. I mean, it really doesn't matter that there's a human being attached to that, you know, vagina. Pussy. Pussy. Yeah. It doesn't matter if there's a human being attached to that dick. It's like, you know, that's what it is. That's fucking. Yeah. I'm like, I would rather, honestly, if I'm going to fuck sometimes, I'd rather have a dildo. Less clean up. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's much less problematic. I know, cuddling after it's done. I know. You can, yeah. You get in, you get out. Just put it back in your goodie drawer and that's it. So, but seriously, I mean, the, the question is, you know, I'm not a goodie. But seriously, I mean, the question is, really, when it comes to, again, to the cultural, to society, is the fact that we really making a separation distinguish between love, lust, this whole thing. We only have two words for that. I mean, love and lust. Kind of like limited as in society. But other societies and even, you know, in antiquity, they actually looked at things. They separated. it i mean plato called it um eros or philia or you know a gay so these are three different terms that should we talk about them yeah go ahead okay so we all know that in this society eros is considered desire something that is mainly even though he didn't mean it particularly he meant like a luscious vibe you know to life towards life desire for life but we of course as a society yes that's what it means okay so if we say eros it means fucking but um and if we say philia even though all the uh disturbing situations that we relate to in psychology and dsm are connected to the philia part but it's actually just a like a sisterhood kind of a loving brotherhood or something that is less connected to the sexual part and of course a gape is kind of a godly love yeah not all consuming yeah it's and godly and it doesn't take place in the bedroom but the thing is do we really did we adapt this um as a part of of something that we need to hold on to as to separate love from lust because there are certain um studies or or researchers that actually decide that there's a certain kind of love that is less connected to the sexual part что что что Connected or no? That it is connected. I mean, wait, what do you mean by connected? Which part's connected? I'm having a little hard time with that part. The question is this. If the two are connected, I mean that lust and love have to go together. Oh, I don't think they have to go together. So they can survive. They can survive separate from each other. But I think that in the way our culture is now, I feel like a lot of people want both. I don't think that it's sufficient at this point in our culture for us to be comfortable with only having lust and only having love or only having love. I think that a lot of, especially a lot of young women and a lot of young men, they want both. They want to feel sexually attracted to their partner. And they also want those warm feelings to exist. You know, they want that. So you think that, and again, I'm going back to culturally related. So you think in this culture, we tend to separate them, but they should exist together. I mean, it's like that's what we aspire for. I think so. I think that it gets separated because we're fucked up. Yeah, regardless, of course we are and hopefully well. But the thing is, I think deep down, we all really want that. You want a partner that you fall in love with. That you care about deeply and that you also are sexually attracted to. And every once in a while you want to throw up against the wall and fuck them until they can't move anymore. The question is, is it possible? I mean, if we have that kind of partner that we kind of love making love to, can we turn it into a partner that we can fuck, you know, mercilessly? You let me know how it works for you. But I'm like curious because, you know, the two kind of seem. Right. Like it is a problem to put them together. Yeah. To have them connected at the hip. Well, I don't know about connected at the hip. More like, you know, center line. Parallel. Yeah, parallel. Okay, parallel. Let me fuck you against the wall and then we'll talk about how we love each other. Yeah. Okay. So, so Dorothy Tenev in her wonderful 79 book, which was called Limerence and Love, actually called. She called. She coined the term Limerence, which refers to and I love, I love, I love Tenev's theory and I love the whole idea of Limerence because she actually decided that she needed a new term because she came across people that explained to her that they were aching over love. But it was different from the typical thing of like falling in love. She was she related to something that is more than infatuated. Or more than attraction. Something that is like a collaboration of all these terms together. And what she said is, first of all, that lust and love are connected. And to be Limerent means to be to have this sense of wishing, you know, for sexuality, but being in love as well. What she claimed is that the target of your Limerence is someone that becomes this as soon as he occupies a special place. And that's the part in your in your psyche. For instance, someone that used to be your friend, all of a sudden he becomes like a more important factor. And then you know that you're like all walking around on air consumed with thinking about it. You can't really eat or sleep or do anything. And you know, you are in a sense of Limerence. And she, as I said, claimed that the two are connected. But there are other other theorists that actually claimed differently. As I suggested before, the question is really how do we feel about it? And does it really change when it comes to culture? So I want to give an example. First of all, I just want to give our number here. If anybody wants to call us in the future or today, it's 800-893-9562. And you can write us an email. You can go to the site drlimor.com. That's drlimor.com and hit contact. Thank you. And of course, we're waiting for you. You can write us. You can call us. You can send us your last letters. Oh, yes. If you read the script. Stained in your sperm. We're down. Whatever you want. We're here. And just we're waiting for your... Waiting for your contact. So yeah, these are our numbers and everything. And we're here. So going back to it. There was a study that actually related to a woman. And it was a study related to dismissive behavior in a relationship. The idea is, what do you think? And let me, before I put, I give you the details. I'll ask you, who's more dismissive in a relationship? Men or women? Women are so much more dismissive, I think. You think so? Yeah. You think that's what society thinks? No. Okay. I think women think men are more dismissive. But I think women tend to be a little bit more dismissive than men do. What are you basing it on? Your own experience or... I'm basing it on watching people I know. Okay. Okay. So I give you an example. Like women would be more interested in just having a fling. Is that the dismissive behavior? Oh, I mean just dismissive in a relationship. Okay. Like I just meant like daily interactions. Like, oh, that really bothers me. Well, fucking deal with it. That's nice. That is a nice attitude. Yeah. But, okay. So the study actually related to how men are more dismissive. To how men and women go into a relationship. Which actually meant, you know, that society assumes that men are more interested in, as we said, short term, less interested in... They're more dismissive towards a long term relationship. And kind of taking it, you know, slowly and less intensely. But the study was actually... It covered many, many nations and all through the globe. And what they found... Actually David Schmidt did this study. What they found was that in certain areas, women were by far more dismissive than men. But it was specific. It was very specific. I'm going to now, of course, expose who were these wonderful women that were so dismissive. And it was usually in this Eastern European region, which was Ukraine and Russia and these areas. And Ethiopian women seem to be... They're like, we're done. They're like, okay. That was... That was awesome. Give me your dick and just carry on and disappear. Fuck me and carry on. You're done. You can just leave. So kind of that. But... And also there was an additional thing that in societies where fertility was mostly important for both men and women, men tended to be less dismissive. I mean, so the claim is that your parental interest has a lot to do with your... The way you relate to a relationship. I mean, if you're interested in creating a relationship. I mean, if you're interested in kids, you're more likely to be less dismissive towards your relationship. And if you're not, you're probably going to be a fucking asshole. No pun intended. Both ways. Let's do both of them. So yeah. So that's... That was kind of the... What they came up with. And there was another thing that was interesting that they claimed that the GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... The GDI... Which was some sort of a scale that the UN put together. And I'm going to give you the exact... Sighting. Yeah. Sighting. I have to because it's like... It's so... It is important. Okay. I'll go back to it. In any case, in general, in societies where women had more... more independence in terms of their social and financial aspect. Men tended to be more dismissive and that makes you think because and they theorized that it had to do with the fact that women see a long-term relationship as a commodity and then when men realize that women have some sort of an edge and and a tool against them because they can actually live their lives comfortably they don't need them in other words they don't need them. That's like that boring down book are men necessary? Yeah oh good job go fuck yourself. So kind of like that men tended to kind of keep that commodity and not release that long-term relationship which is an interesting thing. You know what here's what I do I tell a lot of women I'm like no no no no no he does not have that commodity because she's not in a relationship with him. She's in a relationship with him. You know what in any long-term relationship as a woman you will be giving a lot more than he will ever give you. Like it's inevitable a lot of women end up taking care of their partner a lot more than a man will take care of her and they do all this stuff at the beginning and it's like oh look see how much I care for you like here's this here's that thing yeah and you know what at the end of the day women need to be a lot more selective and I think a lot more women especially in our culture need to be a lot more dismissive because a lot of the women in our culture need to be a lot more And these guys are a bunch of assholes. What are you talking about they're angels okay. Well no but you know what I mean like they're kind of you know they think that they hold the cards but in reality who the people that benefit from long-term relationships are men. Oh of course. Yes and so a lot of women for whatever reason they put it on this pedestal you know that this relationship this love this marriage I'm like no no no no this relationship is gonna and take you to the ground. It's going to bury you down. Exactly. You're going to be weighed down. It's true. You know, the parental investment theory, you know what it means. You know what it says. So, well, let's just say it for our listeners. Exactly. Yes. So the parental investment theory claims that women, as you said, invest much more in this whole situation because we actually, to simplify, men inseminate and women incubate. So we have to carry that fucking thing. For nine fucking months. For like nine fucking months. Then nurse it and him and everything. Yeah. And it's like, what do you do? So women have a lot at risk and they tend to have so much, such a prolonged period to actually deal with the whole thing that they have to be allegedly, according to that theory, that they have to be more choosy in terms of which partners they have sex with and also how many of them. Well, men can go and fuck someone else every night and inseminate. Inseminate. I can't take this fucking, you know, term. Inseminate. It's like, it sounds disgusting. It sounds like what aliens would do. They're like, we will inseminate the woman now. Yes. Did you swallow? Let us see what happens. Where did it go? I don't know. So, yeah. So, you know, the women have a lot at risk. And then, what do you think? I mean, is that true? I mean, it's like, as a theory, it's very nice. I like it. It's adorable. Thank you. But? I just think with birth control now, really, you can, I mean, I think women should be choosy with the people they, I really think that a lot of... Are women more choosy than men? It's a good question. It is a good question. Because I've met some women that are not choosy. We think we're choosy, but we just keep choosing the real, fucking assholes. We love them. They're like, I don't understand. Yes. Like, why doesn't he call me back? I was like, because he was a prick the first time. Yes. You just didn't see that he was being a prick. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I think a lot of women think that they're being choosy, but I don't think that they're actually making a conscious decision of what that choice is. Okay. So, or there's another aspect to it. Let's just say that you're starting some sort of a, whatever, sexual, some sort of a connection, relationship with someone. And he's obviously... Let's call it an endeavor. An endeavor. You embark. You embark on this sexual endeavor. Odyssey. Of an odyssey. I mean, he needs to really, like, kick it in if it's an odyssey. I'm sorry. I mean, honestly, it's not even a short trip. I mean, for God's sake. Okay. So, let's say you embark on this endeavor. Okay. And the guy is obviously a piece of shit, but he has a nice dick. Well, you enjoy. What? You enjoy it. That never happens. Never, ever. It doesn't happen. You're right. And then you enjoy it. I mean, you enjoy writing it and everything. Yeah. And, but he's kind of, I don't know if he's clear about that he's an asshole or if he's clear about that he just wants sex. I mean, some of them are. Yes. Okay. Let's just be honest. I mean, we love you guys. You're a dick. But, well, here's the thing. If you're going to be honest, you have, I was like, you know what? You have my respect. If you're like, I just really want to fuck. Like, no, but it's okay. I mean, some women, and I'm getting to it because let's just say that the guy is, is, is a nice cock and he's good enough to say that he wants to fuck. Yes. Okay. But I'm, I'm like being the romantic little girl here and I'm saying, oh, I can change him. Yes. What the fuck? He will change for me. For me, he's going to turn into princess. Prince Charming is an asshole. Yes. I told you he's like fucking incubate. He's fucking insane. It's everybody. Yes. Okay. He shows up at the right time and then he's like, oh, damn, he's a bigamist, Snow White and Cinderella, everybody. But the thing is, I mean, does that really make it into a thing? I mean, we as women have this romantic venture of jerking him off until he changes. Or something. I mean, really expect it. I mean, does that really happen? Does it ever really happen that you fuck someone and then they suddenly become Prince Charming? I hope they're not. I mean, Prince Charming sucks ass. Well, okay. They become, they're like, hey, I'm a real piece of shit and I'm just going to fuck you. And that's all I really want. I know. Right? It's like, if that's all you want, that's cool. But like, if you're, you know, if that's all the guy wants, that's cool. You just want to fuck. That's awesome. Okay. Okay. Just fuck. But do women really think that? I mean, or they just say they want to do this and then they expect the man to change. See, I think a lot of women expect the man. They're like, no, no, no. They have this like inflated ego where it's like, he will change for me. Of course, because I'm the princess. I'm so perfect. And I'm going to show him the way to love. Yeah, exactly. It's like, no, that shit. Is that like a childish aspiration? I think that's a childish piece of like bullshit. That we get fed. Again, a cultural thing. A cultural thing. Fucking Disney. Oh, that's pathetic. Pathetic. They're all whores there. I'm sorry. But you know, I mean, it's a piece of shit. It's bullshit. Like people usually will say what they want. Yeah. Well, I mean, or their actions will demonstrate what they're looking for. Yeah. And it's childish. It's childish. And really immature of someone to think that. There is more, you know, that they can make it different. I know that he's just like, he's just, I'm just waiting for him to settle down and realize how much I mean to him. I'm like, no bitch, you don't mean shit. Sorry. It's true. And it's unfortunate. You know, there are situations where, you know, someone is, is maturing into, you know, being interested in something else. But mostly if someone is coming with this agenda, where does this ridiculousness come from? That we turn fucking into an aspiration of making love. That is a big, that is a big, but again, I'm going back to culture because we're doing it as a Western culture. I mean, I'm, let's say an Eastern woman, but being raised as a Western woman, because this is the, you know, the climate that I was raised in. But I can see where these things are, you know, where they emerge from. And actually, if you go into the tribal societies or Polynesia, I told you, next life, I want to be a Polynesian woman getting fucked against. No, but like a banana, a banana leaf being thrusted by five men. I want to give me orgasms. That's all they're interested in. You know what? Sign me up now. I'm telling you wishful thinking. But listen, the thing is in these societies, let's talk about Polynesia or these areas. Tahitian or Polynesian. The whole idea, you know, I have to like quote you, on someone, one of the studies there that actually, it was fascinating because a bunch of them, of course, have like, have information about it. And Marshall, one of the biggest researchers there, and I'm talking back in the sixties, he said, there is no contact between the sexes, no rendezvous, no equivalent of our necking that does not culminate directly and immediately to the sex. So, что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что что is my shirt keeps going so hang in there but the thing is um the thing is that the males usually are starting to have sex around 12. and um it's very it's very accepted everybody's enjoying sex i love i love the the thing that they claimed um another thing one of the one of the researchers douglas said that the the foreplay actually involves breast fondling and kissing um clitoral manipulation and cunnilingus how sexy is that and mutual orgasms were usually achieved i don't i don't know what to say i mean i'm like that i'm not breast fondling i'm cool you know yeah tits is this okay maybe we should go with breasts manipulation i know jeez what's next i know but you know the fact that both orgasm that's like rarity in this society you know that it is yes it's kind of seen as sex for you sex for me yeah and you know for instance you first me then yeah and me not at all is that look i'm not going to talk about how women fake orgasms that's for the next show oh my god yes there's a whole show for that but the thing oh there are a few shows for that yeah but thing is um it's an interesting thing because here we see a society where everybody's enjoying sex in the bushes no but seriously they come back from like a fishing bed into the car you know it's like it's it's all excitement and enjoying each other each other's flesh and it really has nothing to do with the separation there's not just such thing as making love or having sex for the polynesian uh person but how how how can you identify that though what do you mean how can you say that because you ask separate I mean because all it says is that they're from necking it goes from necking to copulation almost no no no you view their habits and you know you live with them that's that's what a you know an anthropologist does right but the thing is you see that there's no and you ask I mean for for instance in our society we have the tendency to believe that at least you know people that are monogamous or or to some extent are interested in having like a long-term relationship with one person we believe that there's a person for us that he is the one okay the whole thing yes Hollywood and Disney but for the Polynesian or the Tahitian it's a surprise that my sex partner is not someone that is the one I mean everybody's the one because everybody is good and everybody wants to give you satisfaction in fact but it's a really strange thing because a male is really being you know humiliated if a woman didn't climax I mean get the f**k out of my bed it's a weird sort of thing on men too what that if that his worth or his like sexual worth is dependent on another woman's ability to climax when maybe she's having a bad day maybe her clit's raw like I don't know but her clit is fine live her clit alone it's fine it's working well but it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not But I'm saying like that's also putting like that undue kind of pressure on a man to please a woman. They don't have a pressure because the women are so open and accepting. And men are, you know, because the thing is, I think that because of society, because the cultural thing, we are so clenched and so inhibited and so closed within. Not here. Not here. We're whores. Sluts. Sorry. It's different. No, we're good. We're not doing that much. No. I'm like, what? Our society is inhibited? No. No, it's terrible. Yes. The Tea Party would like to wish everybody a good 1840. Okay. But the thing is, no, but seriously. So there's no question about the idea of having sex or making love or fucking. It's all just enjoying, you know, the whole situation. And orgasm comes with it. I feel like that is making love when you're able to enjoy both the flesh and the emotional connection. I feel like. But they also fuck. I mean, they just, you know, they have like a thing that when men are coming from a successful fishing inventor, they should jump into the bushes and have extramarital sex. It's like a gift. But it's not seen as like. Seriously, it's a gift. Merry Christmas. Here's my pussy. Here's my pussy. I'm ready for you. Very catch of the day. I know. But really, this is what it says, you know, in their studies. Yeah. So they really kind of, you know, make it a sacred thing and make it like something that should be strived for. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that's that's part of what it is, though. And I think in our society, we kind of have like a weird. We would like to put things into like little packages. Like if, you know, here's the thing. There are probably exceptions to that rule of like, if a man just wants to fuck with you, you can't do that. If a man just wants to fuck you, he's never going to be like, it's just it's just fucking. Right. But there is an exception to the rule. I'm sure there are. OK. I'm sure some exist in this world, but that is not where we live. In this world or our culture? In our culture. OK. But that is not where we live our lives. OK. You know, we cannot live our lives like that's an exception. But I think that, yeah, in our society, we like to put people into nice little boxes. When in reality, like you're saying, it sounds like there it's like a very open, free flowing spectrum. I mean, there's no. Sexuality and sex play. Right. And I feel like in a healthy relationship that also exists. You feel that it does exist. I believe in a healthy relationship, there is a free flowing type of experience that you're talking about. But with one person, like what you're saying or not necessarily one person, but like, you know, you kind of have that openness to discuss one or more or whatever it is that you want it to be. And I think. Right. Right. And I think that what you're saying is going on in the Polynesian and Tahitian cultures is what you ideally want. In a healthy sexual relationship where you're able to freely express yourself. And what I think is so fucked up is that we get into this like I'm saving myself for marriage. I'm like, well, who's going to fucking want to fuck you then if you're like this like person that's all uptight and has a stick up your ass. I mean. But work with a stick. The thing is really, I mean, yeah, we like to put people in boxes. Yes. But look at the whole society. You know, and everything. Every I go to the supermarket, I want to vomit because I stand at the cashier and like every fucking magazine. Oh, he cheated. Oh, he did this. It is. He's that he's doing that. I mean, it's all about sex and the idea of sex as a commodity or sex is something that we use to, you know, lure someone in or hold them in or. I'd rather just say, hey, good job today. Here's my pussy. Better job. Tomorrow. No, but seriously, I mean, can we really achieve that goal of being so open and accessible? Oh, I don't think not in this culture. I think there's too much religion all mixed up in this, even though we're not supposed to have it all mixed up in this. You know, ideally, that's what we're we're not supposed to be going for, you know, religion and state connected to each other. But yeah, it does. It does. And I think that's what the fucked up part is. I think we have a lot to talk about. And I think that next time we really we are encouraging you. Our number is 800-893-9562. And you can write us on drlimor.com. D-R-L-I-M-O-R dot com. If you have a fantasy you want to tell us, we want to hear. We will read. If you did something crazy, not a fantasy, you actually fucked well. Let us know. We want to hear. We will celebrate your achievement. Yes. If you have. If you have a romantic story, fuck off. We're not interested in that. Go to Amahaki Bastard or fucking liar dot com. That's where you can send your idea. But for any other aspects, we are expecting you. And of course, we'll be waiting for you next time. Local time, 8 to 9, every Sunday. Sex and Dippity. I'm Dr. Limor Blockman. And I'm Luanne Hernandez. Thank you for joining us tonight. Thank you. Woo woo. Bye. Bye. что что что что что что!