Panel discussion on domestic violence with therapist and musical performance

He's old school Used to be a drunk dude Business man now Everybody love that dude Bobbybuck.com Bobbybuck.com Go ahead, I dare you, log on He's old school Used to be a drunk dude Business man now Everybody love that dude Bobbybuck.com Bobbybuck.com Go ahead, I dare you, log on Bobbybuck.com Go ahead, log on Log on Bobbybuck.com Hello, folks. Hello, folks. Hello, folks. Hello, hello. Everybody doing good in here? Yes. Very good. All right. Is Barry White still here? Yep. Okay. No, you're right. Oh, damn. Okay, now. We got two Barry. We got to talk about our contract with y'all, too. We got to get something else first. But first, I'm going to let everybody go ahead and introduce themselves. So, starting over here. Oh, okay. Suzette Shaw. All right. Robert. Robert. Robert. Manuel Compito. Yo, it's Tank White. George Hogan, a.k.a. A-Quick. All right. It's me, Bobbybuck. Bobbybuck.com. So, what we're going to do tonight, it's going to be a different type of panel thing going on as far as we're going to be speaking on domestic violence in the first half of the show. And then, also, later on, we're going to have Manuel Compito. We're going to speak about the Big Billy Trash King. The number they have at the Persian Square and what we need with Skid Row. And also talk about the kids of Skid Row being left out of everything. So, but we're going to start this first segment off talking about the domestic violence. And we're going to have a little twist to it because we're going to speak on, like, you know, we have due respect to women who have gone through domestic violence or going through it and everything. But we also have a twist to talk about some men who have gone through domestic violence. And also some men who have gone through and have been wrongfully accused or set up through domestic violence. So we're going to speak on that tonight. So, anyway, we're going to get who want to be the first one to speak on some things that you have going on personally with your own personal domestic violence. All right, go ahead. Go ahead. Go first. All right. My name is Quick. And on the domestic violence thing, which I like to put it in Pino 273, I just got through doing, I was in time for domestic violence. And I was the victim in that situation. But for as I'm concerned, I'm always the victim because I didn't initiate anything but I had to do the time for it. You know, not to knock women down or nothing, you know what I mean, but you got women sometimes, man, they get the wrong interpretation of a man, especially if they never had a real man in their life. And they take it to the extreme. They don't want to deal with things the way it really is. So, you know what I mean, they'll go to the level to where they lie. You know what I mean? Because they know that the police is going to be on their side. You know what I mean? When they come in, you know what I mean? But I didn't see any work both ways. You know what I mean? You got a lot of women that commit domestic violence too. You know what I mean? I'm in school for it right now and it's got a lot of women in my class right now that beat the hell out of their men. You know what I mean? And they feel good about it because they taught the right thing. About it a lot. And a matter of saying that they did something great. You know what I mean? But it's never great for a woman to even put her hands on a man. It's supposed to be a respect line. You know what I mean? A woman should know her place. You know what I mean? Just as well as a man. But, you know, it's always put on the man when something bad happens. You know what I mean? It's always going to be our fault. You know what I mean? Because I guess we men, we're supposed to be the head anyway. But, you know, you got a lot of women that wants to be the head of everything. You know what I mean? They don't have no understanding about nothing. Okay. I feel you on that. Anybody else want to go next? Well, I'm not so much concerned about, you know, a woman's place. You know, I think that in a relationship it's a partnership. Okay? And everybody has a role to play. And a lot of times in terms of relationships, communication is a key thing. And we begin to use words that are words, you know, like, I love you. I care for you. I'm loyal to you. And both people don't always have the same definition. You know? I know I've been in relationships and I haven't always been the good guy. But I can remember times, you know, where your car window get broke, your tires get cut up. You know? And, you know, okay, you're saying for no reason. You know? But I think there are reasons. Not to say they're justified. Right. But there are reasons that domestic violence happened. And I think that a lot of times we don't want to concern ourselves with the reasons. You know, there's no reason. Okay? Maybe the reason is not a good reason, but there's reasons. So, if I know that if I provoke you, something's going to happen, then I shouldn't provoke you. Yeah. But you must understand, a lot of times in a domestic violence situation, it's a setup anyway. Because once a person, after being so long with a person, and instead of them separating and just going their separate ways, the communication, the trust, all the things are valued. Any relationship is broke. And instead of them going their separate ways, they continue to stay together. So what is it going to become? Y'all don't like each other. You don't care about each other anymore. You don't trust each other. Right. Nobody's loyal to each other. So, it's going to come to where now we're in a situation where I want to win. I don't want to see nobody else with me. You know, I done been put in one of them situations where it's like I'm doing something totally different. I got to go down to the police station and talk to the police. And I ain't did nothing. I've been nowhere around. You know, but I'm being accused. I'm being accused of domestic violence. But the person that's accusing me is the one that's attacking me, scratching me, bust, like you say, cut the tire, bust the window. But then, us as men, we supposed to sit back and take this. You know, I done been put in a situation where I had to go get a five-year restraining order on a female. That's the max you can put on a person to leave you alone. You know, that's bad when you can't even walk down the street. That person's coming and looking to agitate you, to provoke you. And when you don't, when you see it and you know what that person is doing and you don't bite into it, that makes it worse. That makes it worse. And then they react. That's just like, really, look at all races. Look at all races. Every other race female respects their man and stuff. Except ours. That's the key word that you just said right there. That's the key word is respect. Because what? The Willie Lynch law. What happened? They took the child, dangled it in front of the woman, get your man to work these fields or we gonna do something to your child. They put the woman over the man. God made Adam. And see, they took and reversed the laws. That's just like, wow. If you read your Bible, right, or you know anything about the Bible, you know, Adam had two wives, Lilith and Eve. And Adam asked God, why did you give me these forsaken things? A lot of people don't know that though. And, you know, that's how us men that's been abused with domestic violence feel. Why did you give us something forsaken? You know, because there's a lot of men that has gone through domestic violence where it's like, okay, I'll come in, you know, that's him pulling on my clothes where you been, what you been doing. Hold on, wait a minute. What's wrong with you? Right. You know, you can't say how you doing. You know, would you like something to eat? Ooh, no. So when it's a person of negativity, sometimes you don't recognize until it's too late. I agree. Yeah. I just want to say that when grown folks, key words to me, when grown folks, and respect. So if grown folks are dealing with one another as grown folks, and like you said, you know, being able to walk away is key and just being able to respect one another and understanding boundaries and the fact that, you know, you don't own nobody. You know, I mean, that's what it boils down also. It's like, you don't own me. I don't own you. I mean, I know how emotions can get like so strong and everything in a heated situation. But I'm grateful that I've never been in a domestic violence relationship. I'm not saying I've been in perfect relationships, but I'm grateful that I've never had a domestic violence relationship. And so, but, you know, it really comes down to respect. And, you know, and I am, for myself, you know, I've always normally been able to maintain a friendship with men after, even after a breakup. So, you know, I mean, and even when, you know, we weren't getting along, you know, I mean, it's like, we might have been hot-headed there for a minute and, you know, needed to maybe part ways how you were talking earlier. But, you know, there comes, but again, it comes down to, to me, respect and friendship. If you have the, the basis of respect and friendship in a relationship, then you can, you can respect one another to walk away and not want to. When you really love someone, as far as I'm concerned, you're not looking to try and bring harm to them. You're not, you're not trying to put your hands on them. You know, you're not trying to call them out of their name and so on and so forth. I've never gone there in a relationship. I pray that I never go there in a relationship. You know, that's what, something that she was just saying, like, that's what I was just thinking about was, like, just watching my parents, like, growing up. They acted like they hated each other, like, always fighting. And my mom was the aggressor most of the time. She was the one attacking my dad. But I didn't see it as a hate. What I saw at the end of the day, they still loved each other. They just could not stand being around each other. But like she's saying, like, maybe they knew that they needed to part ways. They need to know that they need to part ways, but neither one of them could take the initiative and go and leave, you know? So that the fact that they're both trying to see other people or trying to do other things to avoid the other person or just get away from the spouse, you know? And it wasn't necessarily hate. It's just the fact I hate seeing your face. I hate talking to you. Why are you talking to me? I don't care. To where, as a woman, it's like, I don't see you no more. I'm not making you food. I'm not cooking your sandwich. I'm not warming that hot water up in the shower for you. I'm not going to pull your clothes out because you're not here. You don't show me love. So like, people don't listen and they just try to stay together and knowing that that hatred is building, that hatred for one another standing around each other and that's where they lose all sense of relationship, friendship, respect, everything because they stay too long. Because I see my parents now, they communicate like they love each other, but neither one of them loves, like they don't live together. They know they won't stay together. They can't see each other face to face, but it comes down to love in the end. That's where they still have that friendship and that respect because it's because of love. They built that love first to where they can be anything. It's not going to break their love. And I feel like domestic violence comes because you love too much to where you get jealous when you see he's talking to another person or you get jealous because his phone's ringing and it ain't you texting him. It ain't him, you know? And women are the ones that get mad about that. Not men. Men don't give a fuck. They're like, who's that dude? Go talk to your dude then. But yeah, but that portion of it right there is not love though. That portion of it right there, that's not really talking about, no, that's not love. That's talking about, that's about ownership, that's about power and having control over somebody. You know, and I'm a very, very strong-willed black woman, you know? And I mean, and you know, and I'm, but in a relationship, you know, I don't come into a relationship looking at like, I'm going to try and, you know, own you and, you know, and, you know, and have all this control over you. But, you know, you have to also, that's where you're talking about when two people can respect one another and... But do you see as where, even in biblical times, the woman never had the same place as the man. But nowadays, I feel women want to be the man. They want to wear the pants in the relationship, but women, that's not their place. The women, their place is to take care of the home. The man is supposed to bring the breadwinner, bring home the butter, bring home the bacon. Hold on, hold on, can I say something? This is 2014, they fought for them rights. I mean, they should have their rights, yes. They fought for equal rights. They should have their equal rights, but I still believe women don't understand that's a woman's duty. That was your duty by God to take care of your man, to love your man, but I feel men do take it and exploit it out of hand to where she didn't cook a meal for you. Oh, shit. Like, I'm going to beat her now. She didn't cook for me. Well, but then certain things, certain situations, they done been through that. I done seen relationships where a person is like that when they, they both get drunk and do something to each other. Mm-hmm. And it's like 20 years y'all still together and it's love. And I'm looking like y'all both fools. You know, get drunk and cut me or get me in the head with a bottle. I'm going to go to the hospital and come back. Mm-hmm. Of course. Okay. You're the woman here. Hi. I'm Trina. In the Bible, it says a woman is supposed to be her husband's helper. So we're supposed to help a man in every way we are, they need us to help them. We're supposed to be their backbone. We're supposed to be there when they're down, when they're up, when they're going through something, we're never supposed to leave them and we're supposed to support them in every way possible. Yeah, but then a man has to also, if you're with a man that will, respect also you as a woman, then you know, you can be, then a, you know, a woman. I mean, when I'm not talking child, woman, girl, I'm talking a woman. A woman will do all of those things. I'm, you know, I've been a woman out in the working world and out in the, you know, professional world all of my life. I've never been married. I'm not going to try and say that I have, but I've been in, you know, long, long relationships. But the thing is, is that, I, you know, I may be that, you know, I may be that, I may be that, I may be that, I may be that, I may be that, woman out when I'm out in the working world. And when I'm in a home, I respect my, where, you know, I respect the space I give a man in a relationship. I give a man a lot of love and space and honor in a relationship. But then he has to come at me in the same respect, though. If a man's not coming at you in the same way, then it's, you, that's not your man and that's not the person that you know you're supposed to be giving all of that to. It's just not. In today's time in society, they're not even, females are not even respect themselves. They're not even taught to respect themselves. You know, it's, it's like, wow, that's like, when you give a child, let me show you how a cold society is set up for motherhood. I'm gonna give my daughter a Barbie. I'm teaching my daughter how to take care of a child instead of how to grow up to be a child. Hmm. We talking about culture, see? I see that, but see, yeah, that's, that's reason why things is the way it is. Now, that's like, domestic violence. Even the courts now, whoever called first, or we gonna take the whole house, everybody going to jail. Of course. Yeah. You know, and that was the woman's weapon back then. Either they threatened, either they threatened a woman with, if they got cheer in there or threatened a woman with, if you, uh, don't come testify or if you, uh, allow these men to get away with this here, we're gonna take the kids. So that's the boundaries they put upon that woman to keep her from coming down when she knows she don't want to do it. Goes back to the Willie, the Lentz. Exactly. It goes back to the Willie Lentz. And then, what makes it so bad, you know, a lot of people, sometimes they have a misunderstanding. They might have an argument, might get loud and temperate. And, you got the nosy neighbors calling, oh, they fighting, now the police at the door. Right. Excuse me, is there a problem? Yes, you at my door. But on the same token, on, on this culture thing, like, like they got our kids calling, you know, little kid get a mark on them or whatever, you whoop your kid, next thing you know, your kid calling the police on you. Now, women have learned to use that weapon. You know, you don't have to do nothing. Right. They know that. I'm going to call the police. That's the first thing they say. I done been laying in the, let me show you, I done went for some, I done went to jail, like you say, for something. I'm laying in the bed. My oldest son, mother, go down the street, a block away, call the police, say, I jumped on her. I get a knock at the door. I know it's the police. I ain't did nothing to this woman. When I answered the door, they like, whoop-de-whoop. I'm like, yeah, that's me. We have a call about domestic violence. About what? Well, we have a call from this person saying that you did this to them. Well, I'm in my boxers and a slingshot. Can I put on some pants and slide on some shoes? Because I'm on parole, so I know the procedure. Right. And then, when we come down stairs, my baby mama's sitting there snickering and giggling. But the whole thing, you trying to get my money, and I done took the money and put it in my pocket and my pants. Right. And then, with me having to know a little something about from having homies, you know, go to court for the fake domestic violence. Excuse me, sir. Man, officer, can she take pictures? Can you have the paramedics called out here and take pictures? Can you have the paramedics and have the watch commander called out here right now? Of course. Because a lot of men don't know that's your legal right. Mm-hmm. Okay. That's your legal right to ask for the watch commander out there and call for the paramedics. Right. We got a domestic dispute. Why is the police here and not the paramedics? Well, we shouldn't have to be going through all of that. But see, in that same situation that he's talking about, the same thing happened to me. Uh, I'm pay, I had to pay for another woman scoring, somebody else and doctor out. Well, I mean, over the years and she get with me, she can't stand to see that I'm a good dude and I'm trying to be that good dude that she never had. But, she turns around and she goes down the streets all night. I'm at home with the kids. Well, I mean, like I always am and the police come kick the door in. Wake me up out the bed just like you and my bosses, the kids screaming, hollering, what's going on? They snatched me up. Brought me out in the hallway and got no clothes on. They got her down there at the end of the hallway. I'm like, what's going on? They said, we got a call saying that you had a gun. Where's the gun? I was like, what gun? What are you talking about? So, I had a cigarette lighter that looks like a gun on top of the TV. They was like, oh, this the gun she said that you had put on her when she came in here. I was like, man, that woman ain't been here. What are you talking about? So, they was like, zoom this and turn around and put your hand behind your back. I was like, yo, so you taking me to jail for what? Do she have any scars on her? I ain't been here. So, what happened was they take me to jail. I stay in jail four days. Out of those four days I was there, she came the second day down there to the jail. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, man, you know what? That's ludicrous. You got me locked up for nothing, man, because you was out doing what you wanted to do and you came back here expecting for me to jump on you and I didn't do that to you. I didn't respond. You know what I mean? You knew it was over when you did that. Now you afraid that you finna lose me which you already have. Why is you here? So, they let me go. But, a week go by, the detectives come back out. They refile. They take me back to jail. Okay, I go in the courtroom. I had two people to testify and say, man, that man ain't done nothing to her. He always had those kids. She runs the streets a lot. She never with them. They still give me three years for that. Now, I done lost three years out of my life. Okay, now I gotta come back out and start all over again. And that whole setup there, you gotta look at it. That was like you say, when she knew you was not gonna be with her anymore. She knew that that final thread, a hope, a cast, whatever she had was cut. Of course. So, she had to do something to try to put you in a position where you become dependable upon her again. Of course. Okay, y'all, hey, we give you Hell knows no fairy like a woman's. Y'all know the script. All right, yeah, but I tell you, we got a professional opinion too. We got a caller. Caller, you're live. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. I know you say your voice is trying to leave you today because trying to keep you from speaking tonight, but you say you're gonna go ahead and do it, right? Yeah, I'm gonna do the best I can. I hope I'm not too bad. Okay, all right. So, you've been listening, right? Correct. Okay, all right. So, we want to get your professional opinion, your professional view of what you've been hearing tonight. And first, before I really move on into what I want to say is really be able to define domestic violence. There are two forms of domestic violence. The first one is situational violence where it's symmetrical within that argument or that conflict. You have both individuals that are both aggressors and you have both You don't have a clear perpetrator and you don't have a clear victim. The two of them have been put in a situation that got out of hand and they're able to move on from that situation. Then you have what we call character and psychological violence. In this particular violence, there is a clear perpetrator and there is a clear victim. The perpetrator in this situation uses control and uses manipulation to get their way into the situation. The victim is the one that is constantly being abused. What you have to understand is that this pattern has to go on and it must continue as a cycle within that relationship. And you go through your three stages and you end up continuously repeating those three stages. And what I'm hearing a lot from the panel is a lot of situational incidents that are happening that ended up being charged as a physiological case. And I feel bad for these stories because it is unfair for the individuals on this panel to experience what they had to experience. And a lot of this is really due to the lack of research and knowledge that we lack in the field, especially the research that we need with men that's being abused by victims in domestic violence. In our society, men are supposed to be considered the strong ones, the ones that can protect themselves, the ones that can handle the situation, and the women are oftentimes seen as the ones that will be the victim in those situations. And we lack a lot of research because a lot of the men in these situations that are put in domestic violence domestic violence. And we're not going to be able to do anything to help them because they're going to be in a very violent situation. Usually stay silent. And because we stay silent, we're not going to go out to our boy and say, man, my woman whooped my tail last night and I don't know what to do. We're just going to keep those things to ourselves and that really hurts our research and really being able to put together programs for men to empower men and to empower society to be educated on men being victims in domestic violence. When you look at the amount of shelters for women and the very few shelters for men, how many men actually go to a shelter and really utilize their resource? Excuse me, sir. I have to disagree with you there. There's not a lot of shelters for women. I'll say what it is. He's in Arkansas. So out here, it's a whole lot different. In Arkansas, we do a very good job. We have an Arkansas domestic, an Arkansas coalition against domestic violence here. We have over 30 shelters in our area. We have a coalition that is really doing a lot to bring awareness to domestic violence here in our state. I apologize if that's not going on there. But another area that we're really starting to target here is being able to educate young women and young people and being able to let them know about domestic violence and how to protect themselves and be safe in those situations. What we do fail to target is men, younger male groups and educating them as well, which goes back to our lack of research and understanding the importance of being able to empower our men and their families. We're going to continue to work with our local organizations to help them with domestic violence and domestic violence situations as well. Okay. Well, I've got to introduce you who you are, too. So go ahead and let everybody know who you are speaking. I am Charlie Simpson. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here in the state of Arkansas. I work with numerous domestic violence type situations in my practice where about 96% of my cases are couples. And I'm a couple of my friends and my wife and my husband and my husband and my wife and my husband and my wife And another thing that we really fail to address is the deeper issues to domestic violence. You know, in my cases when I really hear domestic violence, there is a history. And I'm not saying all of it is history, but there's a strong correlation to history. And when a person is placed in a situation or a relationship where they don't have the answers to effectively solve the problem, or solve conflicts, you go to what you know. And if what I know is what I saw growing up, or if what I know is what I learned in past abusive relationships, you tend to utilize some of those techniques. And there's a lot of anger management type sessions where you are learning about triggers, you are understanding and processing your perspective domestic violence and being able to utilize interventions that can help you be able to manage conflict in a more meaningful manner. And there's also education for the victim as well to be able to empower them to be able to say, if I am in a domestic violence situation, I must not stay silent and I must find ways to be able to either exit this relationship or find ways to improve this relationship, which is what my practice is based on. And that is making sure that people are empowered. Awesome. Okay. Okay. We got a question for you or a statement. No, I was just thinking that I think one of the things you were saying about relationships and what he pointed out, a lot of people try to stay in relationships when it needs to be over with. Yeah. You know. And that's a good point because seven out of 10 victims will return to that relationship. Let me throw a scenario out. You know, I'll just say that you're an unidentified gender that was raised to your mom and dad by day in and day out. And your body starts to develop what we call just a coping mechanism to that type of environment. Once you stay in that type of environment, also it's similar to veterans or soldiers experiencing PTSD day after day. Well, when they come home, they still have a difficult time managing those symptoms. And they often act out those. And they have a lot of behaviors because of what they have experienced in their post-traumatic situation. But if you put a child in a domestic violence situation that enters adulthood, you're going to have someone that is accustomed to abuse, that is accustomed to violence. And in their way of thinking, that is normal for them. And for them to go into adulthood, oftentimes they unconsciously, seek out those particular controlling type behaviors. And they often find themselves starting another pattern of domestic violence, whether they consciously want it or not. And that's why we have a huge relapse rate. Because people return back to something that was comfortable to them. And they return back to a person that they either might have connected, or they might have connected abuse with love. And until we really start to empower those individuals with being able to help them understand what is love, what is nurturing, we'll continue to have a high relapse rate. And we'll continue to have a group of victims that will continue to feel that if there's no hope, I'll always end up in a domestic violence situation. So I might as well just, whatever this can be, excuse me, just before staying where I am now. Charlie, one thing that I wanted to mention is, you talked about kids earlier and trying to work with young people. One of the things that I notice is that, that young people, and then it goes into our adult life, we start out like an emotional bondage type of violence. You know, like, emotional more, more so than even physical, like, you know, there's mind games that are played and people get caught up in the mind games and emotional aspect of it. Even sometimes much more so than like the physical part of it. You know what I'm saying? Right. And you're absolutely right. And that goes back to that manipulation and that control. You know, if you watch your parents control each other, you tend to develop those skills. Let me throw, um, a reverse to that. And that is you can even see control, um, your parents controlling each other and you make a vow to yourself to say, I will never allow, um, anyone to control me the way that I saw my parents trying to control each other. And so you can either take a positive mentality and go into adulthood and you can find yourself saying that, uh, whenever, um, you, you, you, uh, connect with a partner that comes into the relationship and they don't, um, display any size of control or manipulation, but because of the value that you made at an early age to make sure that you protect yourself, you can start a situation of domestic violence and make this other person become a victim. And so there's always a flip side to things. And there's so many different dynamics. Um, um, um, what's the impact that's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's going to impact what's community. Right on. It was another thing, I would think, you know, like, you know, we was coming up and we get out there in the club scenes, and people have a tendency of telling people what they want them to hear in order to get what I want to get. They just start off on the line. That's why they end up where they end up. You know what I mean? And so that's a key thing. Oh, God, don't even talk about that. Yeah, we restarted off. So, you know, because, you know, now, because there ain't no courting going on when you're in the bar. You need to tell a whole pack of lies and nothing else. So you got to get to know each other. But getting back to the whole, the youth and domestic violence, being the kids, you know, like, I seen it. You know, what I see, like, how it has done now is it's give the youth no identity. We have no identity. Most kids now grow up not knowing who the hell they are. So they act out doing retarded things, acting out, dressing ways in ways they know they're with their pants. They know that it's not it's not accepted. They know that it's not right, but they do it anyways because they don't understand that, you know, they don't have an identity themselves. So they're trying to do everything that's in everything that's popular, everything that's there. They just want to do it because they don't understand that that this way is misleading. They don't understand that it's that that domestic violence that has corrupted their minds to thinking like, OK, because back then, I don't know about y'all, but most older people I know wanted to be like their dads, wanted to be like their moms, saw mom in the kitchen cooking, wanted to be mom, saw dad working hard, wanted to be dad. You know, I see most people always like that. And nowadays in the youth, we see we have divorce. You know, we have easy ways out of everything. Nobody wants to try and make things work, you know, and as far as domestic violence, even the ones that try to make it work, they don't understand when, OK, we've tried to make it work. Let's cut this. We have divorce, you know, but people are still living by that standard where back in the day when you went to divorce, it was like you were scorned as a woman. A woman was shamed when she had to go through divorce. So women nowadays will take that abuse. Men nowadays will take that hatred that they want for women and it'll drive them to abuse. It'll drive. Let me share a cultural statistic of men when it comes to violence, domestic violence. Our history shows us that domestic violence has always been a part of relationships. You go back to the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, you might say, well, I want to return to those 60s and I want to return to those times back then when, you know, parents and people stayed together in relationships. That's a myth. You know, people struggle back then. One thing I do believe now is laws nowadays have made it soft. Everybody has to be soft. You cannot be, a man cannot be a man in front of his woman anymore. A man can't, if his woman's yelling at him, a man can't go, you know what, get the hell out of my face. Can't say it aggressively because she can call. That's domestic violence. Even if I took the phone because I don't want you calling your people fucking talking shit about me, doing whatever you're doing. I'm going to take my phone away. You're not going to touch my phone. The fact that you didn't touch my phone, you can call the police and be like, that's domestic violence. He's hiding his phone from me. I can't call someone. I'm afraid of my safety. We've made it to where men cannot be men anymore, to where women feel like they are superior. I feel a woman is not superior. If anything, she is equal. If we're kings, she's a queen. But a woman understands to be that queen, to earn our respect, you have to do your womanly duties. They're not doing it nowadays. They're not doing it though. Nobody's doing their duties. You got to look at it. Hold on, wait a minute. Can I say something? They need to take, lifetime, off the TV. Snap, off the TV. Because that is giving these women of societies these sick ideals today that they can get away with certain things. And social media is making things worse. You know, Worldstar, you know, Worldstar. Oh yeah, Worldstar. Yeah, but you got to understand, how can you teach when, okay, that's like you say, we need to teach. Okay, just like I feel about the thing. Okay, we got to start with the younger generation because like this young man just said right here, his generation, they all messed up right now because divorce is nothing, has no meaning. Marriage has no meaning now. That's like, really has no meaning because what? Now they're trying to make it legal in the United States? Gay open marriage? Has no meaning. Household has no standards because you got another, you got a woman trying to be a man and marry, another woman. That's an abomination to God right there itself. A man marrying another man. But it was what is also happening and people don't like when, you know, you necessarily talk about this, but we have generation after generation after generation of babies having babies, baby. And so you have people starting families that they're babies themselves. So they don't necessarily even understand what it means to be act like a grown folks and to and to be in our, our, our really mature relationship because they haven't taken the time to really find out who they are, let alone to know who they're actually going to be making babies with as well as sharing a household with, you know, you got to know yourself really, really well, as well as who you're going to lay down with before you decide to lay down with them and create another human being. And, and, and, and we're not necessarily doing that, you know, so we have generation after generation. There's no love in the world, like any aspect of anything. There's no love and domestic violence is a big part of showing that there's no love anymore. But being a man, being a woman, being a carpenter, being a hunter, these things were taught in society. We go back to culture, but men are not taught how to be men. Women are not taught to be men or women. No females went sagging. You know what I mean? So when you talk about disrespect to men, you already got women that want to replace the man, you know, so we tore up right there. That's like personal experience. When me and my wife started, we was like, okay, I already know we're at the end. So my thing is, bye, leave me alone. What you still sitting here for in my face? Right. She didn't broke up everything in the house that was mine, my watch collection, my chess board, my piggy bank, everything that was mine. It had the nerve to say, I'm going to call the police. You know, you know what I said? Call the police stupid. Look, all of that stuff is mine. You're going to tell the police I tore up my stuff. Go ahead and call the police stupid because I know what you're trying to do because you done quote unquote put it somewhere in your small bitter mind that you can antagonize me enough to provoke me to where I do something. So now that you got your case where, okay, I put him in a cage, I can control him now. I need, he needs me now. That's wrong. I mean, that's wrong. But see, that's what we are subjected to as men. We go through a lot. Yeah. And we are asked to walk with our head hung high. You know, like nothing is wrong with us. Like we perfect everything. We got to take things on our chin and keep going because what? We a punk or whatever when we reach out and open up. But see, you know, nowadays men don't even care. Men be like, man, my wife tripping on him. Go home, home. Let me lay on your couch. But as men, are we taking the initiative and telling a woman she's a woman? Tell her she's beautiful. Tell her she's Some women don't even care about that because you got to understand you got to understand their mind is so twisted and manipulated that they don't know who they are. First, a woman for you to love somebody else. I had to learn this. I got to love myself before I can sit here and be like in a relationship with Suzette. And actually say, I love you. And that is very rare because I've never met a woman that fully loved herself because a woman's always hated something about themselves. Always. They always got that thing that they hate. Well, there you go right there. They've never loved themselves. If, you know, we were talking about the mannequin. You know, you go, you seen a mannequin. You got the wig on it. You got the clothes on it. You got a woman. You got, I mean, everyone want to look good. Self-esteem. Yeah. You know, I like for you. Nails to be done. I would like from be your, your, your nail. I like you have your hair done. I like it for it to be yours. Yeah. Because if everything on you is imitation, what about your personality? Imitation. It gotta be. Could you, you, you, you wear stuff. You use everything to yourself. But women have come to all that face. So they didn't even you no more. Well, I'm gonna tell you, I'm 50 years old and two years ago when I ended up homeless and, um, you know, I remember when I first came to, um, to LA, August 1st, 2012, I remember writing on my Facebook page, you know, I want to discover my authentic self, you know, I mean, um, I had already started on that journey, but I mean, it really, um, I feel like I've even grown more empowered as a woman with, you know, just letting go of any, you know, I feel like I'm very transparent as far as where I am and who I am at this point in my life. And then, you know, people will judge me and hate me for where I am and what I'm doing. Um, but I'm telling you, I, um, I understand what you're saying because I gave, um, you know what? I mean, I haven't had, I haven't, I gave up, um, putting chemicals in my hair because, you know, I, I, you know, because it's like, how can I say I want to discover my authentic self and then put chemicals in my hair? You know what I'm saying? How can I say, you know, um, I want to discover my authentic self and put alcohol on my body or, you know, put makeup on my face. Um, you know, I mean, so I really have to like really get to the nitty gritty of who I am in order to find that authentic me. Okay. All right. Y'all started to really go into a whole different area. Okay. Okay. All right. But I'm not going to say, um, I'm going to slow it down a little bit because we've got a little time left. We've got my man Tank White going to perform tonight. He's going to be the entertainment. But, uh, why don't you go ahead and give your information to Charlie Simpson. And, um, yeah, like I said, we're going to be having you be like a little regular call in. So we start getting this information out a whole lot more. So go and get your information. People contact you. So, um, if you want to contact me, you can reach me at www.ArkansasRelationshipCounseling.com. Like I said, I am licensed here. Or you can, um, give me a call at 501-313-1185. I do, um, a relationship retreats where I really educate people on these types of matters. And more importantly, how to develop some skills to be able to, um, avoid these types of situations as well moving forward. So feel free to contact me anytime. All right. Thank you. I got one question. Hold on. Yeah, go ahead. Um, why do you think there's so much domestic violence in Arkansas? I mean, it gets everywhere, but I mean, you got to understand the national divorce rate is hovering around 50%. And that's, I mean, every two couples you see, one of them is getting ready to head for divorce. The boy, I think, is get the divorce. And the boy, I think, is getting the divorce. I'm in a very, very lucrative and very busy profession. Because people are not really learning the skills to maintain healthy relationships. And this goes back to education. How many classes did you take to help prepare you for understanding who you are as an individual, understanding how to communicate and interact with other people? And understanding how to nurture and how to build a meaningful relationship with someone. And then you're going to just expect to get into adulthood and learn how to do that, man. Come on now. So for better or for worse, don't work no more. So you're going to let a snake bite you twice. That's how it is. We can't stay. You're going to let a snake bite you twice. That's what you're saying. A person do you wrong. Are we going to go to counseling and see what we can do right? Oh, no. You did me wrong the first time. You might kill me the second time. If you don't, we're going back to counseling. What's left? The third time. All right. We'll take care of that. We got to do this show again. Make sure we get Charlie. So go ahead and give Mr. Tank White to go in and bust some flows. Thank you, Charlie. It's his birthday, too. It is my birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you, White. Happy birthday. Thank you. Happy, happy birthday. I ain't going to sing for you. You're going to sing for me next week, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh, this is actually my new single, man. I'm actually going to drop a video to this coming up in a couple weeks. I just want to practice it on your show. All right. Got to wait for it to drop, I guess. Can I get my turn up? Which one to turn it up? Can I turn up the headphones? Save or reduction. Okay. Cool. This is for y'all right here, then. Oh. Stop without this hollering, balling with your hypocrisy. Abandon my position to clean them right off this balcony. Hip hop for the dots, me enough. With all this mockery, the fakeness given off. Fuck your punchlines, come and box with me. Step up, come and get wrecked up. Professional balls and my lessons. Try building on your scheme. Stay on beat and readily mess up. My team, we building our dreams. Seek for heat, so bring your best ones. Me, myself, and I, three combined. Who wants to test us? The captain with the passion of smashing on all the poles. My mastery took some practice and stacking. I'm in control. Tragedy, swear, it's after me. Clash tomorrow, I grow. This canvas that I imagine keep hustling. Don't be the one to fall back. Front line, local warfare, and I'm leading the pack. Who told you hip hop wasn't rugged? Where they getting those fags? Where they getting those fags? Who told you hip hop wasn't rugged? Where they getting those fags? Where they getting those fags? They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. Please don't. The passion. No, the passion. I'm mad, cause they keep comparing me to cats that speak in favor. I'm lashing out my aggression. Don't make me take all your payroll. The bastard with the gas and a half a pack of the matches. I'm burning down all you whack ones who mastered the craft of acting. Wrap them in battery acid and half a roll of dysplactics and set them on fire faster than campfires in Alaska. But I... They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. Please don't bother me. I don't want company. I just want space. I'd rather be on my own than in a scene full of snakes. Taking a toll that they don't notice that I'm earning my place. I pay my dues to put them loose. So how much more does it take? Do I gotta work to that life by swinging the bat on mics? Take it up another notch and let this blood that mines. I'm swimming this moron mine. So bring the war out right. I'm keeping it real. That's how I feel. I never fall in line. But I... They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. They don't like me, dog. Yeah. They don't like me, dog. That's it right there. All right. They don't like me, dog. Yeah. They don't like me, dog. Happy birthday. Thank you. Happy birthday. I'll tell you what. I love they don't like me. I know they don't like me. If there's any listeners in the area, you can catch me tonight at the Universal Bar and Grill up in North Hollywood. I'll be up there. It's over off Lancashire, man. All right. Get up there. I'm about to get by there before I go home. All right. Well, I'm gonna let everybody go ahead and give you a round of information for people to contact you right now. So I would miss Suzette if you're ready for that. Well, you can catch me on Ladies Takes Mic. I hear Skid Row Women Talk. I'll be... I'm back in the audience, back with you guys probably before the end of the month. All right. All right. Got Mr. Hubbard over there. Okay. Yes. My name is Robert Hubbard. You can contact me at RobertHubbard21 on Facebook, gmail.com. You know, you can also hit me up on at Brian74560 at gmail.com also. Oh, did we miss up on the belly button? Yeah, we gotta go. Yeah. Well, I came in for one thing and I'm gone. Not at all. Yeah. Well, anyway, y'all can hit me up on Facebook, you know. There's a lot of stuff going on with the belly button. Yep. You talked about me. So just get at me. Hit me up on Manuel Compito on Facebook. Check me out. Operation Facelift, all that stuff. Bobby Buck even got a link to me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You next, Mr. Tank. Oh, with my links? Yeah. You can find me, first of all, on Facebook. Tank White, of course. Anywhere. If you got social media, man, at TankWhite52. Email, TankWhite at gmail.com. There's two E's at the end of white, though. You know, just get at me. Send me something. All right. My name is George Hogan. You can hit me on Facebook under George Hogan. Just hit me on Facebook. And I also represent the Skid Row Street Bar League. So you go on Facebook, you'll see everything on that link. Sweet. All right. I'm Bobby Buck, and you'll get me here on Fridays at 7 p.m., 7 to 8. And also, we're going to have Manuel Capito come back. We're going to talk about the belly, big belly, belly what? Yeah, big belly. Man, what happened on that, man? You got to get the big belly. I've been all day. Yeah, we need to come back and talk about the, you know, really something about they need to do something for the kids in the Skid Row area. Oh, yeah. We're going to get on that. Because we need to really serious on that because they can put up all these parks. Why not put play areas in these parks? Right. You know, a swing set, a little merry-go-round. We can do a whole show on that right there. Bring me some big wheels to the park. You got some old big wheels. Oh, we got some big wheels. We're bringing down the guys' kids. Bring down the guys' park. Round. Bobby Buck dot com. Log on, log on, log on. Log on, log on, log on. To Bobby Buck dot com. Bobby Buck dot com. Log on, log on, log on. Log on, log on. Bobby Buck dot com. Bobby Buck dot com.