Parking enforcement rant, SNL/Leslie Jones, Nigerian girls, conspiracy theories, Hollywood corruption

I made it, sex and I got mine. I fought the law and I won. I fought the law and I won. A lot of issues because they're my friends. That's how this country's run. Trinches are the best things I ever had. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Heimberger Podcast. We're here with Ryan Broms. What? Ryan Broms. I said Broms, right? Wow! Right? I hear my feelings right now. My bad, my bad. He's dead. God rest his soul. No, no. I think you're having deja vu. Right? It was a moment. I flipped out. Yeah, everything switched up. We're short a few people. I lost track. It's like with my own kids when I call them other kids' names that I had and I ignored. So it's weird. But here's the thing. Ryan Delmo! Yes, I'm in the house this evening. It's better than calling your current wife your ex-wife's name, I'd say. Oh, God, yeah, I know. Or just anybody's name or a guy's name. That's weird. That's what's weird. Whenever we were in the middle of sex and I'm yelling, Oh, my God, Phillip, you're huge. And that was weird. That's the best name you used to use. Phillip, right? Yeah. April O'Connor, guys. Hey. All right, and we're missing Megan Rice and Preston Blaine. No, she's not. Megan, I got the text from Preston. She drank. She drank a little too much and she passed out. She never went out to dinner. She never left the house. She had too much good times at home. Yeah. So she's not going to make it out. Preston's at a show at Flappers in Burbank. So it's the three of us. All right. Well, no, not really. Not really. We got mom here. We got this. Jen. This is a friend. This is a friend. Jen, how you doing? There's a microphone. You can talk into the microphone. Yeah, you can yell in. It's all right. It's all right. You know what? They're just here visiting. They're going to just hang out for a few minutes. They're going to do a weird striptease. They're going to make out. And then they're out. Nothing weird. Nothing odd. It's like a main Victoria show. Totally. Just like a main Victoria show. Mom, did you? Did you see the main Victoria show? No, I did not. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There was a wild show. I think she was listening, though. Well, you know, it was. She was listening. I love me. You did listen to that one. I got to say, I love me. That was when Megan was. They were arguing. Yeah, they were going back and forth. And then my stepdad walked in and she closed the computer because they were swearing a lot, right? Yeah, it was pretty vulgar. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I missed out most of the show. Oh, then maybe you should step out of this room. Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't even be involved in my sex talk with my children if you don't like vulgarity. I am. No, but, you know, we got a lot of stuff to cover. Whoa, I died there for a minute. My microphone went weird. But that's all right. It might have been an 80s flashback. I don't know. I did a lot of shit. But, yes, we got a lot of stuff to cover. One of the things we're going to hit on, and we have a caller on the line we're going to get to in a second. Here's the thing. I'm a Jewish. I'm 100% Jewish. My family, whole bloodline is Jewish. And we've been through the Holocaust. I lost family in the Holocaust. And as much as my heart bleeds for everything that happened, it's going on right now in the form of parking enforcement. I don't know if that's a weird comparison. It could be. It could be out there. I don't know. All I'm saying is the guy looked a lot like Hitler. Here's the thing. And he kept saying, like, take the car. But, yeah, it's fine. Okay. His name was Xavier. And he's like, you take the car. You take the car. And I'm like, what do you mean I'm a Jew? No. But, so, okay. So, parking enforcement impounded our car. We had just gotten the car. It apparently had old tickets on it. They impounded it illegally, wrongfully, admittedly. But, oh, well. And if we want to dispute it and get the, we have to pay $800 to get the car back. And then every day that it's in there, they charge you, right? It's more and more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We could pay it and then possibly dispute it. And then a few months down the line, maybe get our money back. It's a $1,000 car. It's a racket. Yeah. Right. If I could, if I could afford 800 bucks on a whim, I wouldn't be driving a shitty $1,000 car. You know? I wouldn't have three kids. Yeah. I'd be smiling a little fucking more. You know? And so, so these people, they take our car, but we go through all this stuff. And I dealt with this Deputy Neal at the parking. Okay. I'm a parking enforcement. Deputy Neal. And I, I, I don't, I rarely wish venereal diseases on people. Oh, boy. I'm going to wish it on her. I'm going to call her. Call her. What's your name? Call her. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can. It's Preston. Preston. Preston. How you doing, buddy? Preston. How do you feel about the parking enforcement? Oh, they're fucking Nazis, man. They're whores. Yeah, I see. You know what I hate? I'm just doing my job. Do you know how many Nazis said that when 10 million people fucking died? I'm just doing my job. Don't do your job if your job sucks. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, like, if your job, I don't get it. Like, I'm just doing my job. Stop doing that shitty job. And they say that they, once they start filling it out, they, they can't throw it out or stop. No, that's absolutely true. Yeah. And that is a lie. It's a lie. I was in Pasadena and one of those little bike parking guys, there was a, there was a construction site going on and there was a parking spot that the meter was missing. It was just the pole. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Yeah, go ahead. But that's the thing is it's a big, huge lie. And you know what it's about is they go after poor people to impound their vehicles, to seize, to take, to destroy what everyone has, to take that last moment from them. At the same time, they're looking for the money from the rich people who go like this. Oh, oh, a $68 ticket. Hold on. Let me just send in my credit card number. Done. Hey, right off. Yeah, they don't even question it. A lot of times the people, even like extra charges like from your cell phone bill or the cable company, people just pay the bills and they don't dispute it because people are just. They got enough money. They don't have time to sit on hold. Parking tickets should be based on what kind of car you drive. If you get a parking ticket with a Porsche, it should be a $12 million fine. I would have gotten a $4 ticket. If you get a parking ticket with a $1,000 car, it's $0.08. Yeah, that would have been my ticket. Yeah. Yeah. And then they'll actually be paid. That's the thing, though. I mean, it's literally set up that way. And you know what the funny thing is? There's a lot of people out there that will just automatically pay the ticket. And I say this because I'm not one of them, but I've put tickets that I've gotten on their windshields and they are and they'll pay them. They don't even look to see that it's not their car. Wait, how many how much money did you owe altogether for your parking? It was like $800. He didn't know anything. It was attached to the parking. It was the license plate. It was the tow. No, no. That was just the tow and the impound. We have the registration that shows we just bought the car and we're free and clear. But they're like, oh, well. And it would literally be like somebody stealing your property. The police find it and they go, yeah, well, here's the thing. It's going to cost you like $400 to get your shit back. And it's like, wait a second. I got to pay to get my own shit that you wrongfully had. Or the police sees it and it's wrong. And they're like, yeah, well, you know, we were wrong. Yeah, they punked you. But it's going to cost you $1,000. To get it back. What the fuck? That's how much I owed. Yeah. I even paid them. That's the thing. It was $800. Yeah. And here's, does the city need $800 so bad that it's worth me beating the shit out of my kids and they did nothing wrong? I mean, it's not fair. It's a cycle for you, but it's good for the city because you pay your $800, you get pissed and then you hit your kids and then they get money from the city from fucking child abuse agencies. They're called life. I have called children. I have called children services on myself so many freaking times and they won't show up. I hate it. No, you know, the whole thing's a horrible joke. Everything. You know what it is? The whole world's so caught up in so much crap. There's real issues going on. Like, I mean, okay, here's the thing. I'm going to say this. Give me one second. I got to pull this out because it's important to me. I want to say, um, as a good Christian, I, um, not the point. I'm not the point. I, um, I want to say, I mentioned Sergeant Neal and I'd also like to say Sergeant Bailey Gray, Sergeant Bailey Gray of, um, the parking enforcement. I hope her fucking vagina falls out. I hope she dies of chlamydia. I hope her entire family is festered with warts and they all just die. I wanted to say that also, um, on a lighter note, shout out to, uh, shout out to operator, uh, 10 42. And, uh, I'm going to say, um, I'm going to say, um, I'm going to say, um, I'm going to say, um, and operator, uh, and operator two, six, six, one of the, uh, parking enforcement. I also, uh, wish horrible, horrible things on everyone. They know. Hardest working people in LA. I just, I want to throw that out there. You know, that's the thing. You know what? How about everybody? If you see a parking meter or you see, jam it, shove pennies in it, shove paper clips in it, break it, jam them, jam everyone you can, jam everything you can, put gum in them, do whatever you can, take over signs. Yeah. Downtown's different too. I got a ticket in the mail and I was like, wait a minute. I don't remember getting a ticket. But then I did the address. I Googled and I was like, oh, it was right in front of Pattern Bar. I remember that time where I was parked. It was like 2 a.m. You had to move. I was in my car. A parking enforcement pulled up, shined the light on me. And I was like, oh, shit. Let me drive away. Oh, so you're just writing the ticket even though you're in the car. But downtown is different because people live in their cars and stuff. So he didn't get out of the car. And I got a ticket in the mail. They scan your plate. Yeah. It's not right though. It's not right because they don't know if you just got there, if you're leaving there, what's going on. And they just scan your plate, give you a ticket, you get it in the mail. There's no fight in it because what are you going to do? Not register your car again? And so it's gotten to a point. And this is where the world's got. That ticket was attached to my old car anyways. So c'est la vie. But that's what I'm saying. And that's why. It's gone. Did you buy my old car? Is that why? But this is the thing. Is it my fault? And then all of a sudden it pops up on you. Yeah. And so it's a bunch of bullshit. But here's the thing. How weird it's gotten in the entire world is when you think about it. Saturday Night Live. Okay. Yes. Now, this was a show that I grew up watching with John Belushi, Jane Curtin, Chevy. All these different people that were amazing. They were cool enough to be on good drugs at the right time doing funny shit. Yeah. It hasn't been funny. It's been shitty, actually. Yeah. It's really shitty. It's such a crap show. It's such a horrible who's who in Hollywood. And how did you get on anyway? And by some accident, because they were scared of looking racist, they hire a couple black people. Well, but they were hired because they're funny. No, no, no. They were hired. Let's say they were hired because they were black. We know that. Maybe let's segue. Well, now let me say. Now, what I'm going to say, though, they were hired because they were black. However, Leslie Jones is a beast of a comic. She's funny just as a comic, male or female. But they've always had black men, you know, starting like back with like Pryor and stuff. Oh, yeah. And Paul Mooney as a writer. This is the first season that they ever had black women. No, there's one black woman cast member in the 90s. Well, no. Yes. But you know what's funnier, though? So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Anyway, so she does this one scene. You saw the whole thing, right? Yeah, absolutely. It had to do with Lupita, the girl from, what is it? Is it Captain Phillips? What movie was she from? She won people's most beautiful 12 years of slave. Most beautiful. Are you going to pop in and say that? Yeah, sorry. I didn't watch that movie. But she was a really pretty girl. She got most beautiful woman by people. Yeah, she's gorgeous. Yeah, and then so that was what Leslie said was, she's like, who's the most beautiful? What about the most useful? Yeah. And that she was saying that nowadays as a six-foot-tall, big black woman, she's not going to get, you know, if she lived back in the slave days, she'd be getting laid all the time and she'd be like tough. Compared to Shaq and like Toby. Oh, she'd be very useful. She'd be the top breeder. Well, let's say it's not her being six foot, though. It's her being thick as fuck. I mean, because my wife's six feet tall. She's 120 pounds. And she's a top pick. Like, I mean, you know what I mean? Like she's first draft in that sense. Yeah. You know, even now today. But Leslie's a thick woman who offers strength and ability and talent and all this stuff. And that was her bit, though. Yeah. That reality isn't respected. Yeah. She's like, now I can't even get a guy to take me out for a beef bowl. Can a bitch get a beef bowl? No. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What's been, there's been like an incredible amount of articles and SNL. But only black people are mad. Yeah. Black people are mad because they can relate to it. And they don't understand that what inspired that joke was her frustration as well. So they are actually in connection with each other. But of course, they're going to take offense. But the best thing about it is that everybody's writing about it. Everybody's talking about Leslie. Everybody wants to know who she is now. And she deserves it. No press is bad press. Let me just say this. Leslie's had so many people on her cock, you know, and she just kind of struggled through and she's been through hell and she struggled up and God bless her. She's busting her ass. She deserves everything she's getting, you know, and all that. And so I think it's great. And she should, she should just continue to grow. Mm-hmm. You know, I mean, she brings something to Saturday Night Live, what they've needed, which is reality. Mm-hmm. You know, they're not funny. She's the only funny thing on Saturday Night Live. Yeah, absolutely. I think it was really funny that, uh, that there was one particular woman that, that wrote about it that said that she said that rape was funny and that rape, you know, being raped. Jezebel? Yeah. Was that Jezebel's article? I think so. But it was like, not, I watched it again just to be like, what? Not once did she mention rape at all. She mentioned just that. Yeah. No. And rape is funny when it goes wrong. Yeah. I mean, when it, you know, like with the blooper reel, it is fucking funny. I'm sorry. No, funny, funny. If you've ever seen a rape blooper reel, it's fucking funny. I don't care. It's such succulence right there. Preston, Preston. Did you go up yet? Yeah. That's my, that's my favorite episode of America's Funniest Home Videos. Although the rape segment's the best. Raped on wrong. My favorite. Yeah. Tell us, tell us about, where's Megan right now? Hey, show's starting, so I gotta go have a good show. You have a good show, sir. Preston, Preston. I'll be here for you next week. Preston. Yeah. Show him your cock, buddy. This is his best bit. Break legs. Yeah, do the bit where you show your cock. Just take your pants off and just jerk off on stage. Do the cock showing bit. Oh boy. Oh boy. I don't know. It's weird that mom's still here. I'm surprised she hasn't left yet. I like that. Mom's a little dirty. Nothing wrong with it. I, um. Uh, yeah. It's funny because more and more she's always been really like modest and like trying to raise me to be super like, you know, a lady, but then, you know, as she gets older, she's starting to crack some dirty ones. Well, now mom. Coming out of her shell a bit. You know what it is? You know what it is? Some moms are that cool that they stay moms the whole mom period. Mm-hmm. But now it's her time. Mm-hmm. You know, that's a mom. Right? My mom was like, what about me? I'm like, bitch, I'm four. Like, what do you mean? What about you? You know? I mean, like. You can see that. What do you mean, what about you? I don't need another uncle, whore. But you had a great mom and that's one, like, that's a mom. She stayed a mom and now it's all over and she could be like, screw it. I'm following the, I'm following the Grateful Dead. I don't give a fuck if they're not even boring. My mom won't watch my comedy. She will not come out to my shows. When I come home. Yeah. Yeah. When I come to San Diego, she will not come out. I'm too dirty. She's never seen me, she's never seen me do stand-up before. Well, she's on the show, on the radio show. This is like, this is extreme. My mom's the same way. My mom's the same way. She's like, I won't. She's like, you're going to clean it up for me, right? And I was like, no. And all week long, I've just been swearing. And she's like, wow. I'm like, I'm just preparing you. Yeah. Get ready. No, my mom was the same way. She was like, always like, I'm not coming to your shows. I'm not doing, well, she didn't say that. But she was an alcoholic. A hooker. And so she didn't make it. And that's how life goes. And reality. Speaking of hookers. Yes. Insanity. This is what the fucking world, this is what drives me crazy. We're firing teachers that are doing well. We're always in the wrong place at the wrong time. We're doing the wrong thing. Right now, we have a whole bunch of young African women from Nigeria. Yeah. That have just been. Stolen. Uh-huh. And they're captive. And they're, the threat is that they'll sell them into slavery. They're marrying them off. All these different things. Uh-huh. We invaded Iraq based on some bombs and some bullshit. Mm-hmm. How can't we go into Nigeria and just wipe these motherfuckers out? Like, how can we not send troops up there and just done. Because they don't have oil in Nigeria that we can. Right. They got elephant dust. They have to build an infrastructure. That's all they have. They have ivory. Yeah. And no one. We don't have. We don't have. We don't have. We don't have any hidden agenda in Nigeria. We don't want ivory. That's what we don't want. Unless, unless, you know, you got. But unless you're getting those emails about, you know, how somebody with your last name lives out, out there and they want you to. Oh, I got a dude that's going to give me like $25 million. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still working with him. We're talking. We're talking. But you have to send them your bank information first. Look, I got a lot of shit in the fire. You know what I'm saying? $25 million, guys. It's going to be a lot of money. It's going to be an investment. It's going to be a lot of money. I know. Okay. I'm going to be very rich. I don't care. I'm going to still do this podcast. 200 girls. Somebody that might be your uncle is going to give you all their oil money if you give them your bank account number. Just because we all know about it doesn't mean it's fake. I know. But you know, but this is the thing. How don't we go in there like Obama, you scum fucking pig, you piece of shit devil. How? It's your fucking homeland, you fuck. These could be your sisters. Isn't he from Hawaii? He's from Nigeria. He's from like 18 different countries. No, he's from Nigeria. His father's Nigerian. His mother's white ass German from money. Yeah. So we know this. He comes, his family's got money. He went with the mom, but the dad's Nigerian. So these girls could be related to him. Yet you piece of shit, all the wars you start. We're fucking with Russia right now. Yeah, we are. Like how unoriginal. That's a bad idea. We got. We got this whole great concept of saving young women in Nigeria. That's a good movie. It's new. It's original. But we're going to do a redo of the fucking Cold War instead. We're going to fight Russia all of a sudden again. Well, the thing is, is that all the nuclear power in the world is held by Germany, Russia and the United States. Every other country that might have it has like tiny, like tiny amounts of it. And. Zero technology to deliver it. So. And no one cares about them. Yeah. Well, but that's why, you know, we can't let Russia get too big for its britches, even though it is the biggest country. It's a huge country. That's the amazing thing though. We can't let them get too what? Too what? Apparently they had some vote and they decided to like just these, these Ukrainian groups decided, fuck this. We're going back with Russia. Yeah. Um, that seems like democracy in action, but we're going to say, no, they're lying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, we're going to fucking go in there. We're going to take over the whole thing. Just decide. Uh, we're going to flip it and decide that that is not democracy in action because instead they're lying and it's fake because we've said it and it makes no sense. Uh, again, I'm going to go back to the African girls. It makes no sense that we haven't sent troops in there. Uh huh. It shows that we're full of crap. We're not the best country. We're not a good country anymore. We're not even, our money isn't even close to the highest rated money. Right. I mean, there's so many countries. Our dollar is not that strong. The best we could do is hope to go to Mexico and break even now. Yeah, the peso is better than the dollar right now. Well, that's the thing though, is that if, whenever we go to help people, air quotes for the people that are listening, we're really, it's just, it's a hidden agenda to, you know, go in and get their drugs and, you know, or the oil or whatever. It's not real. There's no real reason. It's just that we say, oh, we're trying to save them because some dictator is trying to take them over. Same thing. Like, what are they going to get from Nigeria? Nigeria is not a very rich country. It doesn't really have a lot of resources. Yeah, well, I mean. It's not a lot of resources. And for fact though, Nigeria does have very high oil. Oil reserves. They do actually. Yeah. It's just that what's going on is that, for example, in this country, we have enough oil to drill the oil out, create our own oil and supply our own country with oil. Except we sell it off to foreign countries because it's worth more. And why aren't we using American oil for America? We're selling off all our oil, then yet we're buying other oil from the, Arabic countries. There's a guy right now who's about to become a trillionaire or is a trillionaire who's part of the Saudi Arabia families. A trillionaire. Yeah. Based on oil. But here's the thing. He has a trillion dollars. Go on. Go on. No, you're into it. Go on. Jump in. I like that. Yeah. Okay. I'm never letting you jump in again. No, I'm joking. I'm joking. As long as you talk into the microphone. Yeah. You got to get a little in there. Seriously. You know what I'm just saying. Well, it's also like, people act surprised. I mean, maybe these, these two, these, these over 200 Nigerian girls that got kidnapped, it happened to happen. It happened at once, but there's like slavery and, you know, people getting kidnapped and sold and. Non-stop. Non-stop. In Los Angeles right here. Yeah. You know what? Let me ask you a question. All over the world. Caller. What's your name? Croydon. Croydon. Croydon. Oh, Croydon. How's it going? How you doing? April Burger. So listen. Is that Talmo in the background? Yeah. That is Talmo, yes. You're familiar. You're very familiar with the slave trade. I'm highly familiar with the slave trade. Right? No. But you're also, you're also. She's very politically active. Okay. You're also in DC, right? Yeah. She is. Duck and cover. Don't confess. We want to talk about the sinkholes with you too. We call our human traffic sex slaves interns in this town. Right? Sex interns. Well, but I mean. Nailed it. There's another great thing. I mean. Dude, there's no excuse. We fucking know where those bitches are in the jungle. Yes. And if we don't. I don't know. We shouldn't refer to them as bitches, Croydon. With heat seeking missiles. And you know who could fucking find those chicks? Dog the bounty hunter. There's no excuse. There's absolutely no excuse. No, there isn't. I heard Burger discuss trillionaires. Well, the US or private corporations more specifically that are invested in the US or use the US government as an excuse. We're very interested in keeping Nigeria destabilized. So, Boko Haram, which means against Western education, is basically rumored to be a CIA covert operation to keep Nigeria destabilized so we can continue to rape and pillage their natural resources. So essentially, we're responsible for the rape and pillaging of all of these girls. Absolutely. It's a mass operation. I'm only responsible for the hot ones. I'm just saying. I just want that out there. What? I'm just responsible for the hot ones. Yeah. I can't. I'm, you know, sex trafficking goes down all the time. I'm very grateful. Everywhere. It's brought it to light. Yeah, everywhere all over the country. Why aren't we dealing with this shit? Everyone knows the people doing this. I mean, not everyone. Meaning the people know who's doing this shit. But it goes everywhere. It's rampant. Yeah, there's hundreds of thousands of people enslaved today. It's just the misuse of humanity. Like I say, it literally takes each person to decide to be right. It takes each person to decide to take a stand. But you know, it's been going on since almost the beginning of mankind, though. It's just not going to stop. It's just there's just sick fucks out there. People like to assign the... Yeah. The slave trade to say African-Americans. And you know, then we have like the Jewish folks talking up about how they were slaves. And you forget that the fucking English, you know, the fucking redcoats dominated their own people for a long time. And the Irish. Their own people. Oh, the Irish too. You're a dog. Your son's a dog and your other son's a dog. And then when they actually believed they were a dog, they were like, but you're a better dog than these other people. Mm-hmm. And then they're like, well, you're a better dog than this other people over here. Yeah. Indentured servants. So why don't you go fight the... It's pit bull on pit bull. It's like a whole Michael Vick situation that is way fucked up. Yeah. What a lot of people don't get is that's the whole thing with slavery, though. I mean, you know, that's what people don't get. It was just literally that people don't understand that with the whole slavery thing is how many whites lost jobs. I mean, I don't mean it in a weird way, but how many poor white people were out of work? They weren't for slavery. They were against it. They were against bringing black people to work. They were against bringing black people over. They were against slavery. Those were their jobs. That's what they used to do for money. Yeah. And so those were gone. And people don't get that this is all rich people. Everything comes down to rich people. Now you're discussing, like, you know, people like to glorify the North because the North was against slavery when really the North was an industrialized nation and was into machinery. Mm-hmm. And child slavery. Yeah. The Industrial Revolution. Yeah. And took jobs away from people as well. And how much child slavery was going on? It's all- It's still going on. It's all- you know what is amazing? You know what, Croydon? I'm going to keep you on for this and then I'm going to cut you off like a dog because I love you. The sinkhole. No, no, not the sinkhole. She's over there. The cold bitch with bad jokes. Croydon, listen. I love you, Croydon. Croydon, listen. I fucking love you too, Burger. I've been madly depressed. No, no. The Malaysian flight. Yeah. Yeah, that too. Four people killed on that flight. We're all sick. Yeah. And there were also four patent holders with the Rothschilds. With Rockefellers. No, Rothschilds. Yeah. Yeah. Was it Rothschilds or Rockefellers? Rothschilds. I think it was Rothschilds. A Rothschild? Yeah, it was a Rothschilds. Same difference. Same. Okay. So now the Rothschilds are the sole patent holders of the- As the cloaking device. Yeah, it's some sort of cloaking device. Right. But here's the thing. So four people on that flight died altogether. That worked for the company? The company that helped develop- That had the patent. They owned the patent. Yeah. Owned the patent with the Rockefellers. Or I'm sorry, Rothschilds. Rothschilds. I love those car mouths. They're all the same. I love those car mouths. You know those, are they Rothschilds? What are those? Basically 400 families own the world. Yeah. Right? But that's what people don't understand. Or the, you know. But that's the weird thing too. But they only own the pretend world if you're not part of it. They don't own you. I don't pay taxes. I take social services. Right. I do all the- I do all the- I do all the- Yeah. I do all the shit. I don't care anymore. I was a teacher for a long time. The system is fucked up. If you sit back and smoke a joint with the system, it works. If you get a lot of money, the system works. But if you try to do something or move ahead, the system does not work. No, you can move ahead. But if you try to, you know, if you try to rock the boat or change the system, that's when they take you out. If you're- Yeah. If you go, you can make as much money as you want as long as you're- MLK, I'll throw this in here because I think it's vital to both the scenario with the Clippers, the Missing Girls, and the Burgermeister Meisterburgers, Rothschilds, Rockefellers, and all the other oligarchy. The Illuminati. MLK was killed not because of- Who? MLK. Okay. His march for equality- Milk. Amongst the quote unquote races, which is a divisive term anyway. If you ask me what race I am, I'm a woman. I'm a woman. I'm a woman. I'm a woman. I'm a woman. I'm a woman. I'm a woman. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. And then he came back realizing that people are people and he needs to stop that bullshit and all that. And he was going to come out and tell everybody that, you know what, this is all bullshit. We're all human beings. Nobody hates anyone. And they killed him. Yeah, same thing. Anytime you try to rally the people like Marcus Garvey, they're always going to take you out or do a character assassination. That's the way I feel about Michael Jackson, too. Look how many people. The guy on Hollywood Boulevard blown the fuck up. Yeah. They said it was a car crash. Like the guy hit a post. The car, there was a hole in the ground where a bomb went off. No, way before him. No, no, no. Nobody's killing Paul Walker. Paul Walker. Paul Walker died. Bring his people together. Nobody thought Paul Walker knew too much. Ever. You know, like that dude, he had a heart on and that was it. He was a good, I guess he was a good actor. No, there was conspiracy stuff about him, too. No, yeah. Let me tell you, Paul Walker knew nothing. In comparison. But, yeah. Paul Walker made a. His whole life safe from the Secret Service by knowing nothing. But, let me say this, though. Kato Kaelin. Kato Kaelin. Oh, Kato Kaelin. Well, see, you know what? Okay, okay. When you say that. So, whose car blew up? Yeah. Okay, so this guy. One of the guys that was giving away the secrets before Snowden. Oh, yeah. And so, on Hollywood Boulevard. Yeah. Hollywood Boulevard. They said the guy hit a post or something or a tree. Yeah. The car blew up. Yeah. But, there was a hole in the ground. Yeah. There was a hole in the ground. The only way a hole in the ground could happen is a. A bomb. Explosion. And a bomb, yeah. Car bomb. So, I mean, they know he was killed. But, it was just blown off. And they just shook it away. They just said, all right. And you know what they'll do? You know what they'll do? A month from now, it'll be on fucking Family Guy. Yeah. And we'll all think it's bullshit. Mm-hmm. And we'll go on with our stupid fucking life. Well, that's how they desensitize us to all that stuff is because they make jokes of it on TV. So, that makes you think that it's. Cartoons, everything. All those cartoons. It's all Hollywood. All those cartoons are set up for that. Mm-hmm. They're meant to make. So, when I tell someone, look, they're spraying shit in the air. Airplanes don't make X's with fucking jet fuel. It dissipates in the air. Mm-hmm. We know that. I'm an educated person. Yeah. I was a school teacher. I know that jet fuel dissipates. Yeah, they're putting metal particulate into the air. Okay. And it's so that they can use. They're basically creating a grid in the air so that they can bounce radio waves. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. Now, my feeling was always that they were doing this based on trying. Trying to combat global warming or the sun thing. Whatever their reason, but they were still lying to us. It's harp. Yeah. Whatever their thing is, though, here's what it is. You're spraying some shit up there. I can see it. There it is. Yeah. Jet fuel dissipates. Shit. Airplanes don't make X's. And then we have earthquakes and crazy weather. Well, how can I go from 100 degrees to 60 degrees? I'm 44 fucking years old. I've never lived through going from a rainy. Day to a hundred and six degree day. Or what about these sinkholes? I say you really want to go. I really want to talk about the Baltimore. The Baltimore sinkhole. Where was the sinkhole? Well, because Croydon, while you're still there, you're right on Baltimore, essentially. You're in D.C. Like what? Yeah, that was epic. That was an epic sinkhole, right? There are sinkholes opening up in Adams Morgan, too, which is a little neighborhood in D.C. And, you know, it's probably due to neglect and infrastructure issues. Mm-hmm. But, you know, there's a greater issue that you're bringing up. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's the fracking that's going on. Mm-hmm. What's fracking? What's fracking? The company invented the fracking. What's fracking? And that destabilized our water. What's fracking? It's essentially going into the earth and fucking up the earth in the bedrock for raw energy sources. It's underwater drilling, right? Yeah. They're using water. Yeah. And the... Now, I'm going to tell you, Croydon. I'm going to tell you. ... into the water. And, you know, you can... Because that... There are places in West Virginia that will run the faucet water. And, you know, the farmers are setting the water on fire to show you just how poisoned the water is. Yeah. And Dick Cheney owns that patent. And he's trying to maintain that fracking is good for our culture. Of course he is. And it's offensive to me because we have the greatest energy source in the world, the sun. And... Solar power. And Germany is crushing us in solar power. No, no, no, no, no. They're not crushing us. They're not crushing us. We have all the technology. We are choosing not to allow this technology. Because the stakeholders in other types of energy don't want us to have solar energy. They're making money. We don't need to have oil money. We don't need fuel. But then where are they going to make all their money? How are they going to make their money? That's the whole thing. Yeah. That's the whole thing. That's the whole thing, though. I mean, Croydon, I'm going to tell you right now. Normally we cut off callers after a few minutes. Yeah. But this is interesting. And you do have a lot of knowledge on this. Yeah. And I want to say something to you before you cut me off. Isn't your dad a politician? I'm not going to cut you off. Isn't your dad a politician? My father is a government, in government service for a long time. He's a lawyer. Yeah. Croydon's got a lot of knowledge with this. And Croydon's one of the few people that comes, like, you come from money, but you really care. Yeah, I come from money. You actually care. I've lived without money, and I've lived with money. I've dropped you off at storage sheds where you lived. Yeah. I know. Yeah. I mean, I'm saying I know. I love you. I think you're great. You're one of the few people that come from money that I can fucking stand. I love you. I think you do care about what you do. Here's the thing, though. It's hard when you come from money to understand, to really look at how people are niggered in this world. And here's something I want to share with you, Berger. I don't know if you've heard of him. I don't know if you want my insight on anything else, but I've been in this outrageous comic depression, right? I did this fundraiser for a weed show. Right before I go on, the fucking rich guy who paid me to raise four grand for his already financed organization was like, oh, yeah, and by the way, you and your eight weed comics, you can't tell pot jokes. No weed jokes, man. I'm doing a clean show tomorrow. My cunt masturbate for you like a stripper. Oh, look, top shelf bourbon. I didn't tell I didn't censor any of the comics. We all fucking told me jokes, heroin jokes, good jokes. I mean, I just like fucking go for it. Yeah. How did it go? I'll do your little Sambo dance for you. Yeah, I'm done. Right. Did they turn you off or anything like that? Or they were just sweating in the back, sweating? No, they like it back sweating. They personally like, you know, you know, what's funny is I've done a lot of show. I've done like a lot of country clubs and shit like that. And I go and do the first one I ever did. I was not. Nervous as hell. I grew up in the projects, you know. And so I go and do this. And what I realized about them is as long as you're disgusting and dirty. Yeah, they're great. The second you talk about really a movie with James Garner called Barbarians at the Gate. You have got to see that fucking movie. It is it is underrated. It is below the radar because it takes on the bastard billionaires that fuck us all. Yeah, I won't watch it unless. It's so difficult for someone that comes from money to understand the niggered system because they are so sheltered within their little fucking bubble. What I wanted to share with you before I'm done chatting is that my one of my great, great, great, great, great uncles was James P. Connolly, who was an Irishman raised in the Scottish ghetto. And he he became Ireland's champion by starting the Easter uprising. In 1916 and the Irish army, which became me, which split after his death and became the IRA. And my my uncle, he was a socialist and he was to make his living. He joined the English army. He was sent over to Africa to work in the diamond mines and, you know, be a little corporate peon slave to crack the the the you know, the what would it be? He was a very untouchable class of slaves were actually mining the diamonds. And he wrote about the exploitation of people around the world. And the English hated him so much because he rallied for the people of Ireland that they wanted him dead. He was shot like seven times in the Easter uprising and he was going to die. And the English was like, fuck that. We're going to take this bastard and put him in front of a firing squad and kill him. That's how much we want him dead. And he was so shot. And he couldn't stand. They tied my uncle to a chair and shot him. Oh, they gave him a chair. That's nice. And it was not until his death that the Irish people rose. And one of my uncle's sayings were was the great are only are only great because they have us on our knees. Let us rise. And so I just want to say to you that I fucking love what you wrote on paper. I love what you wrote on Facebook. It is about the everyday connection. It is reminding people that they have power, that they can take action, that they don't need to cower in fear. And I love it. It takes one of us. It takes one person. I feel like I feel like that's what all these conspiracy theories perpetuate is fear and feeling powerless. And that bugs me. So that's why I don't really put a lot of energy into it anymore. Read up on that stuff because you could drive yourself fucking nuts. It'll make you crazy. And you're just like, oh, and even though. And then there's. Then there's the propagandists that put out the stuff that's even more far fetched just to make you think it's all fake. And then it throws your whole brain in a way. And I just don't I don't give it my energy, period. No, no. You have to know that you have the power. All I ask. All I'm asking is this. All I say is, look, all we need. And I'm not saying that he has to. If Chris D'Elia could blow himself up. I'm so glad you brought that up. Did you see him on a bus today? No, no way. Right. OK. There's been Facebook clips of the show, too. You know what's funny? You know what's funny is because. OK, first of all, the show's shit. It's also Brent Morin and Rick Glassman and Ron Funches. Yeah, they're great. You know, blah, blah, blah. But I don't even care about them. Here's the thing. Your dad's a fucking the biggest producer in Hollywood. You're getting another show. And you're a joke thief. Yeah, you're a piece of shit. OK, so someone wrote there like, oh, you sound. No, it's not about being jealous. The dude's great looking. He's got charisma. He's young. He's got no kids. He's fuckable. There's nothing for me to be jealous of. I'm I'm I'm on my second marriage. I got three kids. What am I jealous? You know, there's no there's no comparison. Your life is different than mine. I'm simply upset. You stole jokes, Dick. Your dad gave you everything. You have a trust fund. You're rich beyond belief. You have everything. And yet you can't even come up with your own. Shit to do. You got to steal jokes. Really? Yeah. He stole. He stole the fucking drunk girl from Jeff Richardson. He stole. He stole. He stole. He stole from Josh Adam. Josh Adam Myers. He stole from Josh. He stole. He's stolen from hundreds of people. But that's not even the point. He's a scumbag. He's dirty. He's a liar. It's all this shit. Yeah. He's a piece of shit. But it's not about, you know, that. It's about who you know or who you blow. Well, but that's the thing. And, you know, and it's like, what is it? This whole Bryan Singer thing. Back to that. Oh, yeah. That's the thing is the reason Hollywood is unoriginal is because people are fucking their way in or getting fucked their way in. Absolutely. And if you have people, there was a time in Hollywood where people came in based on talent. And that was a beautiful time for Hollywood. Right now, it's a shit. They go like this. Hey. You know what? If you're willing to, like, I don't know, jump off a birdhouse in feathers and land on my cock and then someone come over and beat you with a stick. Steve-O. I could put you in three movies. That's Steve-O. You know? Hey. If you're willing to put on a dildo and fuck me in the ass as a woman, you know what, Whitney? I'm going to give you a couple fucking series. I'm going to let you. I'm going to let you keep working. Whitney. Tell people believe you're famous. Yeah. She's cunty. But that's the thing. You know what? She fucked guys in the ass. Yeah, she did. The NBC executive, she fucked them in the ass. I just have to say, though. To get her parts. If you, if most anybody that would really like, if they wanted to be famous and they'd be willing to do that, I'd rather do that than be the one getting fucked. Well, yes. Yes. I have to agree with you. No, no. Props to her for being on top. Yeah. Yeah. Bye. Coming out on top. But here's the thing. How about, and again, I don't care if I'm not one of them. Just let fucking original funny people be funny. And Chris D'Elia is not funny doing a drunk girl bit in a German accent that's been done a million times. Well, you know what? That's really, it's, it's an example of someone who doesn't know the system. Like, it's an example of someone that comes from a privileged life and, and having everything that he has, including the, the tools to be creative. It's not enough. Uh, it, it, it, it's like the Buddhist concept of the hungry ghost. They're, they're never satisfied. They're always empty. They're always looking for more. If you talk to a billionaire that is a hedge fund operator, it, the money is never enough until they're a trillionaire. Then there will be quadrillionaire. But, but, but that's the thing. Money's pretend anyway. Yeah. I mean, you know, like how we owe China $9,000,000,000. Yeah. This person owes us $9,000,000,000. It's not really about money. It's about power. It doesn't matter. It's not pretend. It's monopoly. I was listening to an English, uh, investor from, from, I, I forget the firm. She knows so much stuff. I love it. I would cut her off. I know. I'm just entertained. I don't want to. Sorry. Troy didn't love you. She's our correspondent. What we're doing in this Wall Street, you know, quote unquote, thievery is technically illegal. If the money existed. But the money doesn't actually exist. There's no gold to back it up. Therefore, it's legal. What we're doing. It's, it's bullshit. It's pretend monopoly money. They're playing games with stock markets. It's all a joke. And you know what it is? If we all just show, it's simply each person creating their revolution. If each person chooses to revolt in a tiny way, every person revolt in one tiny way will create such a wave of revolution. It would be insane. Yeah. That's why I say if, if you got so sick of it, you started knocking down parking signs. You start knocking down, uh, don't come here signs. You start knocking down this, start clogging up this. You start blocking subway things. Why are there so many police involved in busting people for getting on the subway illegally? Yeah. We got, we got people being raped every day. Eating. My friend got a ticket for eating an orange. On the orange line? On the orange line. Really? That's ironic. And then they asked him if he had a ticket. And he didn't. Uh. Yeah. But he got busted for eating. You're not supposed to eat. Yeah. Do you know how much I got? That's the thing. I, I didn't. As American citizens, we can't go on a subway and eat. Yeah. I did not have my, uh, my tap card tap on the Metro once. See how much I paid for not tapping my tap card? $400? $550. Is that insane? Oh my God. For a, like, it was like a two minute ride. And then the Metro cops popped in. You know what I do? Yeah. But it's weird because I've, every time I've ever been on the Metro, which is, you know, less than a dozen. So then the eight years I've been here, but I'm, let's be honest. I, just because I have a car, but I would, you know, New York all the time. The point is, is that honestly, every time I've ever seen anybody, the cops come on, they go up to either a skate, skater looking kid. Yes. A little Mexican lady. Yes. Or a black guy. Yes. And it's never. Or me. I mean, you guys. Or me. Or me. You guys. Yeah. No, seriously. I'm targeted every time. Yeah. And they know me. I always get a day pass. I do Metro every fucking day. They know me. I always get a day pass. Yeah. But that, you know what? And they just like walked right by me and I'm like, what if I didn't have a ticket? They don't care. They don't care. They don't care. Because you're, you're a female. You, you. You're not. You're a real girl. I don't look threatening. You know what I do when I go, when I go to court? I just go, you know, hey, why don't I just spend a few days in jail? I got more time than money. Yeah. And they can't deal with that. Yeah. Because you know what? They don't have room. Yeah. And I'm always good with spending a night in jail. It's not that bad of food. That's awesome. It's not that bad of time. I love you guys. I love your podcast. Thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you so much. Have a great night, sweetie. I'm going to get to L.A. We'll talk to you real soon. Thanks, Croydon. Because I'm tired. Have a great night. Go get some sleep. Cut her off. That quick. Yeah. We love her. She's great. Fuzziness. Thank you. Fuzziness disappeared. That was like a good. She's just bleeding with information. Yeah. You know what? Our dad's really connected. She knows a lot of stuff. Yeah. She knows a lot of stuff. She's a deep girl. You know what? But you know what? You know what it is? It's simply like this. If you look at the world, like Croydon wants to speak out. She comes from money. She could just rely on the money, hang out with the money, and fuck everyone. But she chooses to actually care. And a lot of people come after her as like, oh, she's a nut. She's this. She's that. And you know what? Do you feel? I felt like her emotion when she's telling us about her uncle. She's real. I love her. She's informative. Great, great, great, great, great, great uncle. Yeah. She's fantastic. And I love reality. And that's the thing with people. Like when we were back to Christmas. Leah, he's an empty soul of a person. He's a piece of shit. Whitney Cummings. They're empty. She's a cunt. Oprah. Oprah. All these people are empty pieces of shit. They're shells of human beings. Yeah, she's going to eat you now. They've sold out of there. Okay, I think that's where you lost my mom probably when you disappeared. Oprah is marketing through Starbucks with chai tea. Yeah. Here's the thing. Oprah opened a school in Africa and all the kids got raped. Good job, Oprah. Oh, those are, that's where? No, no, no, not those. All the kids there? Oprah. Oprah opened the school. They were raping the kids. Oh my God. Every day, just raping the kids. But this is the thing. And now she wants to buy the clippers. But she opened the school like this. There's going to be some raping going on there. Hey, look at me. Look at me. And this is what I always say. You want to find out who someone was? Find out if that bitch gave $10 of her hundred when she was broke. She didn't. All right. Find out if she gave a penny to charity. Find out if she gave a minute to charity. Or volunteering. Yeah, and then realize her whole fake ass. Life is made up. That that whole poor ass life didn't happen. Her mom and her stepdad, whoever it was, both came out and said like, this shit didn't happen. She wasn't molested. None of this fucking shit happened. All this stuff came out. But she's just a big phony. And this is what happens. People like, you know. People, because you're building a trust with your viewers. Yeah. So you want to be related to. Exactly. You want sympathy. They're bullshit. Any type of. Anytime you can pull at somebody's strings, like whatever it is. That's all it is. That's why a lot of comics are doing one man shows now. Well, that's why a lot of comics are talking about this, this and that. But it doesn't relate to them. Yeah. And that's the thing. And, you know, it's about being real. Yeah. That's why I say, Chris D'Elia, talk about how you fucking went to Nicolas Cage's party. Talk about how you spent $4,000 in a week. Yeah. Talk about that bullshit, you piece of crap. Don't talk about drunk girls you don't know about. Don't talk about shit. Don't wear pants with holes in them. Yeah. You fucking scumbag. When you have, when you're paying fucking $400 for pants with holes in them. This is my favorite part. It does happen. I love this. I just wish that fuck would really. I just hate these people. Oh, man. And now they're on the side of the bus. Yeah. No, when you post that photo on the side of the bus, I'm like, ah, burgers is like boiling. No, but there's been sponsored NBC previews on Facebook, too. Is it on NBC? Is it NBC short? It's NBC. Oh, I see it canceled in there for three episodes. Yeah. You know that. Yeah. It won't last. It didn't last very long. But this is the thing. It won't last, but they'll give them another show. I could care less about somebody like, okay, Leslie Jones, I think, fuck yeah. Yeah. Bitch, you try. I'm so happy that she's been working her ass. You've been busting your ass. Yeah, you went through hell. They found her. You were treated like shit. You look like an angry fucking big ass six foot monkey. Yeah. Nobody's treated you well and you got over. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. She's one of us winning. Did you see how she said that? She's like, she's like, she's like, I don't like white people and they're paying me or something or I'm working for them. Yeah. No, no. And Leslie loves white people. No, she loves, what did she say? I'm working for white, I hate, I hate the white people I work for and they're paying me or something like that. No, she's awesome. But I'll say this though, but you know, but that's the thing is at least she came, at least she had to bust her ass. She had to get through shit to get where she, she's there based on talent. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. D'Lea, Whitney. All these, Eliza Schlesinger, all these fuck cunt pieces of shit. They're not there based on talent. They're there, they're there based on who they fucked, who they're fucking. Dice Clay. What they're doing. Dice. Right, right. Eliza? No. Was she fucking Dice? No, she was with Brett. Oh. Ernst. Yeah. Ernst got her in and then she was a piece of shit. Oh, nevermind. She's a lesbian anyway. I don't even care. She's a fake ass. Be a lesbian and be proud. You know, I'd respect you more as a lesbian, you liar. But here's the thing. But, but yeah. Dice. Yeah, Dice. Anyways. Anyways. Don't even get me started. You gotta delete everybody. I was just like, oh my God. Everybody is a fake piece of shit. This is about that point in the hour where it all goes to shit and the alcohol is very much concerned. It's just that everyone's become such a fake piece of shit. There's no reality. There's no genius. There's no trueness to it. Like Bill Burr, who's an amazing comic, talks about stuff he knows, talks about stuff that relates to him, but he does it brilliantly. Yeah. I don't get half the shit he says, but I die laughing because it's so funny. Because he gets it. Because he's like, he's reenacting it. Stan Hope is coming to town too. Stan Hope. Stan Hope is coming to town too. Stan Hope is another guy. He's another guy. Hicks is another guy. Hicks is amazing. I think we're about at the point where we gotta. Want to hit these things? Okay. Let's hit on, what are you doing this time? Tomorrow. Beards and Broads at the Hollywood Hotel. It's just a bunch of comics that have beards like me that is in a go away to get rid of all this shit. Next week. Yeah. Next week. Yeah. Next week we're cutting out a show. And Broads. Bunch of Brody comics. Yeah. So bearded comics and Brody comics. Yeah. Preston and Megan too. They're both on the show. And I'll get you guys. I mean, if you want to hop on tonight. Fuck you. Well, you don't have a beard. Fuck your show. You don't have a beard. Fuck you. Yeah. I'll be at Harvard College. Oh, you'll be at. Oh, then there you go. Then my mom will get to see me do a set again. Okay. Then I'm tossing you up. Go ahead. I'm going to leave here. I'm going to go. I'm going to go do Eric Allegria's birthday party at the park. Are you at Park Park? Yeah. I'll follow you there. All right. Okay. And then I'll be Sunday at Flappers in the Yoohoo Room, 730. Nice. Nice. I will be at Harvard College tomorrow night. Nice. Somewhere Saturday. I don't remember. But I'll be at Harvard College with Cochino, one of the greatest guys. Cochino's hilarious. Oh, yeah. Great guy. Wonderful guy. Great guy. There's a real dude, right? Humble, humble guy. If that guy killed D'Elia, he'd get off. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm just saying. He'd get a medal. Okay. Well, okay. Let's all wish AIDS to the parking enforcement. Yeah. AIDS to those fuckers. Burger show, guys. Thank you so much. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Open all the doors