Government shutdown debate, trivia game, and comedian Rob Weissman interview

I'm sorry. Do you catch that rhythm I've got? It's a good half second late every time. Every single time. My name's Clay Aiken. I'm glad to be here tonight. This is Sarcastic News Live. We got Mindy Jorgensen in the back, sitting right across from me, manning the sound tonight. A lot of pressure on tonight. Kareem the Dream Maddox, folks. I don't know if you know this, but they call him the Dream because one time when he was conversing with John Lennon, Lennon began drifting off while Kareem was busy lecturing him on the fundamental tenets of Marxism and was then inspired to write a song called Imagine. Wow. A lot of people don't know that about Kareem. I don't think anybody knew that. It's true. It's true. He talks about his time in England, but he doesn't talk about that. But it did occur. It did occur. That manly voice to my left, Jake the Snake Cranny. Oh, just so glad to be here tonight, Cross. How are you feeling about tonight's show? I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good. We got a tight lineup tonight. We got some great stuff planned. I think it might be, going out on a limb here, fellas, might be top 40. Top 40? With Ryan Seacrest. I was going to say, I was going to say Casey Kasem, but that's because I'm old, Kareem. You know? I remember the 80s. Kareem was telling me how old I was earlier, and I told him how tall he was. I was there in the 80s. You were alive, right? 21 days, yeah. When were you born? December 9th, 1989. I remember. You had a solid 22-day stretch. Good decade, for sure. Yeah. Well, yeah, we got comedian Rob Weissman joining us in a little while. Rob Weissman, the man is crazy. You're going to love him. He's going to talk about it. He's going to talk about a government shutdown. But as always, my name is Justin Cross, and we are coming at you live from the Skid Row Studios in the heart of L.A.'s barred window district. Like I said, absurdly decent show tonight, people. If you want something that's slightly above average, this is it for you. So we got a big one, though. And I think the only appropriate way to begin tonight is to discuss the excitement from this past Monday. It's Monday night. Here we go. Just seconds. The clock strikes midnight, and our government will shut down. Brett Beard taking over our live coverage for another hour. Don't go away. Stay with Brett. Don't go away. Don't go away, folks. I mean, this is awesome. We've got the government not functioning. It's crazy. All right? Tomorrow, don't even go into work. Stay up late. Don't even go into work. Call in sick. Or if you work in the government, don't worry about it. You probably won't have a job anyway. Unless, of course, you're these people. Congress's approval ratings may be at historic lows, but that won't stop members from getting paid. That's right. That's right. I don't know if you guys got that, but the same people who are causing the government shutdown who make approximately, who make about $174,000 a year will be receiving paychecks, while the average government worker who makes only $45,000 a year and didn't have a damn thing to do with this won't get paid at all. So I want to know. I mean, I'm like most people. Who's to blame for this mess, right? Mr. President, please give me your dramatic proclamation. Good morning, everybody. Whoops. At midnight last night. Can everybody hear me? Mic working? This thing on? I think he's doing open mic night right there. I do that sometimes on the show when nobody's laughing. Check, check. Are you guys sure this thing is on? All right. So maybe that wasn't the dramatic opening that we may have expected. But again, Mr. President, who is the blame? At midnight last night. For the first time in 17 years, Republicans in Congress chose to shut down the federal government. Just the Republicans? Let me be more specific. One faction of one party in one house of Congress, in one branch of government, shut down major parts of the government. All because they didn't like one law. All right. So he was kind of specific there. And I imagine that if one of the shows, one of the major shows on, say, CNN, like, like Piers Morgan, right? If they decided to dedicate a full show to the shutdown and have a large panel of civilians live in the studio, they would probably use the speech that Obama gave to lead a nuanced and civil discussion, right? He's not open to discussing anything. But he said he opened the exchanges today and they worked great. He simply won't do it with the. No, he would not. I'm sorry. That's not true. The exchanges have been a mess. First of all, you're overstating the limit of calamity at the exchanges. And second, this is a major piece of legislation. Perhaps the most significant piece of legislation in 50 years. It's not uncommon that it might be a slightly lower. And when was it passed? I forgot. Three years ago. And President Obama is the top priority of his administration. And they had this chaos that they had today. Doesn't that tell you something? I don't concede that it was chaos. Yes, there are a lot of people. Okay, General, time out. No, this is what happens when everybody in America has access to health care. I don't get it. I don't get it. Why? How? How? How did the? Oh, that was God, actually. Uh, texting me. How do these people? How is there a government shutdown? I don't get it. It's not like these people get along really well or something. Now, I have to, you guys have to know this. Due to the government shutdown, nearly 800,000 people were out of work. However, some agencies were left open, including the US Postal Service, meaning that the eight people who still use the US Postal Service were really happy. And even today, there was little to no movement between Republicans and Democrats on progress towards a solution, or as many smart people on the outside referred to it, just another day in Washington. Thanks Snake for the golf laugh right there. Were you just clearing your throat? That was a good joke. It just, I need a, like I need Asala Robot in the crowd. All right, here's one for you, Snake. This is Major League Baseball here. All right. Major League Baseball playoffs began this week with the wild card playoff game. Uh. I didn't realize, I thought, I thought the game was in the books, but I guess not. Now they're playing it again. But anyway, but among the many exciting matchups to look forward to, the Pittsburgh Pirates taking on the St. Louis Cardinals, the LA Dodgers against the Atlanta Braves on the road, and of course the Oakland A's matching up against the Detroit Tigers, or as some call the A's Tigers matchup, the 2014 New York Yankees. That was pretty good. I liked that one. That was better than your like little, the dream just stares blankly at me. That was good. That was well written. I liked that. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Well done. Yeah. I wish we had Asala. They made it, they made it seem like it was actually like a, like a live studio audience the last time. We need their laugh track is what we need. We need to record that. No, you guys just need a man to fuck up and start fake laughing. Okay. You know the rules of the show. There we go. There we go. Wow. So you're listening to Sarcastic News Live. My name's Jake. My name's Justin Cross. Oh, you wish it was. I'm with Jake the Snake, Kareem the Dream Maddox. Calling in in a little while. Comedian Rob Weissman. And we want to hear from you tonight. This is kind of an open-ended show. We want to get your thoughts on the government shutdown. I know we've got some Twitter followers out there who, who a couple of them have been furloughed actually and may be calling in. And so we want to hear from you. I want to give a couple of shout outs right in the beginning. Let's give it up to a classic Jim in Santa Fe Springs. We've got a new listener, Kara in San Francisco. Kara, you're the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best just go down. The rest of the show should just be call-outs. Don't forget Johnny C. in old Detroit. Oh, we got a caller. Caller, you're on the air. This is Sarcastic News Live. Who are we talking to? Hey, hello. This is Jim from Santa Fe Springs Man Cave. Yeah, Jim from Santa Fe Springs Man Cave. I got a call early before I go to bed. I go to bed early. I'm an older guy here. I was going to say, are you 90? I heard you talk about baseball, but I wanted to get on early so I could hear the rest of your great show. Since you were talking baseball, we got Tampa Bay and Cleveland, 3-0, 8th inning, wild card game. I thought I'd say hello. Say hi to Jake. What's up, Jim? Miss Porter, very much. Hopefully he comes back and love the show. I'm looking forward to the rest of the hour. Definitely. I think our own Kareem Maddox wants to say hi real quick. Is that right, Kareem? I was saying hi. I went in the market for a sports correspondent. That was a pretty good pitch there. How's it going, Jim? Good. How are you doing, sir? Good, good. I'm looking forward to the comedian coming on and the Obamacare. I don't understand it all. Who knows what's going to happen there. Jim, I think you just got a job offer to be our sports correspondent. You can do it remotely from your man cave if you want. I'll be happy to chime in every so often. It's been a few weeks. I love the show. In fact, we were running an errand here with my wife, Anna. Say hi, Anna. Hi, Anna. Hi. She says hello. I got to get back. We got to get to the show. We're back. We're listening. Have a good show tonight. Love it. We'll listen next week. Thanks a lot, Jim. Have a good evening. Jim in Santa Fe Springs right there. Thanks a lot, Jim. That's Jim and his wife, Anna. Good evening. Bye-bye. All right. We'll see you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. What Kareem failed to tell Jim was that the sports correspondent position works roughly 55 hours a week for $0. I was going to say that if his thing is like, oh, I can only just chime in from time to time, that's what my crack squad here does anyway. It's basically what we're doing. We just meet up once a week and go, hey. All right. We're going to come back. We've got a rousing game of government shutdown trivia or something or knowledge. You nailed it. All right. We've got the snake game coming up next. Let's just call it the snake. We're going to have a snake game from now on. Okay. All right. If you want to participate, call on 800-893-9562. That's 800-893-9562. And you can also just give us your opinion on the shutdown. We want to know about that. 800-893-9562. You're listening to Sarcastic News Live. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Calling all the animals inside Calling all the animals inside Calling all the animals inside. That's Hunter Hunted, a local L.A. band. Have they been featured on groundsounds.com, Snake? Yes, they did. I actually just put up a cover song of theirs, a Pixies cover that they did today on groundsounds.com. Okay, excellent. Well, we're big fans. I'm a big fan now. Very good stuff right there. Thanks. And if you missed, actually, we're going to have a live cut-up of our interview last week with Ocelot Robot. Yeah, that was a fun one. Awesome guest. And apparently played a really nice show the other night at Molly Malone's down the street from us. So we're going to have that interview up on sarcastic-news.com. That's right, because we didn't want to pay the extra $140 with GoDaddy to get sarcastic. So yeah, sarcastic-news.com. So yeah, sarcastic-news.com. Check that out. And also, if you want to, live tweet us right now. Kareem the Dream, our social media guru, is working the lines right now on Twitter, and he's doing that. Absolutely. And now we have the Snake game. Snake, take it away. Snake game tonight. Get ready. It's the government shutdown game. Everybody settle down. The excitement is boiling over for the government shutdown game. I figured we'd shut down our show too. I would just walk in and be like, we're just going to talk the whole time. Yeah. Well, it's basically what we do, isn't it? Pretty much. All right, so I came across an article today on USA Today about some questions and answers regarding the government shutdown. If you guys read the same article, just play dumb so we can have a semi-competition between you two. So I've got four questions, all multiple choice, as all my games are. It's very easy that way for me. I should mention too, if you want to call in 800-893-9562, come play with us. Oh, goodness. Follow along at home or call in. Call in and play as well. Yeah. So question number one about government shutdown. How many times has the government shut down in the past? Is it A, 11 times? B, 15 times? C, 17 times? Or D, 22 times? You want to take this one, Corinne? A lot of shutdowns. I'm going to go with, A, 17 times. B, 17 because it was 17 years since the last shutdown. Am I right? Interesting. Right. Yeah, but I don't know if there's a direct correlation there. Actually, I was going to go with 17 too, but I'll go with B. What was B? B was 15, which is how old you look. Are you serious? I have this like pedophile mustache. I'm pointing to the camera, by the way. Pointing to camera one here. I'm going to go 15. I know. I'm going to go 22. 22 times. All right. Mindy, Mindy, what do you want to, you want to give a guess on this one? How many times the government has shut down before? This is so just a guess. I'll say 17. Was that an option? That was an option. It was an option. Yeah. Going up one to zero, Corinne and Mindy, 17 times the government has shut down. Wow. Cool. I wanted to do that too, but I wanted, you know, I gave you the honors, Corinne, so. What about the lack of a direct correlation you were talking about? Well, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think it was a lucky guess. All right, go ahead. Question two. Most shutdowns have lasted from one to three days. How long did the longest shutdown last? Was it A, five days, B, 10 days, C, 16 days, or D, 21 days? Yeah, go ahead, Corinne. The longest one? Yes. 16 days. I'm going to go D. What do you want, Mindy? 21. Okay, so taking a lead right now. Mindy in the back, 21 days. Wow. She's a government shutdown buff, though. I know so much about it. She knows about that and Persian hamsters, so those are her two main areas. Syrian. Syrian hamsters. I'm sorry. Come on. Oops. White guy. All right, question three. During the shutdown, and Justin actually spoiled one of these answers before, so it'll just be three, but during the shutdown, you will be able to do all of the following, except A, visit a national park, B, send a package with the United States Postal Service, C, apply for social security benefits, or D, receive food stamps. You will be able to do three of those. You will not be able to do one of those. You go, Corinne. National parks. It's got to be. I'm going to go with national parks. Food stamps? All right. Well, it was national parks. That's right. Oh, this is tied up. Are we all tied? Oh, my goodness. Yosemite. It was the birthday the other day at Yosemite. Okay. Well, actually, this last question is perfect for a tie because you guys are going to, it's basically the closest guess wins. Okay. Nice. Last question. This is what it comes down to. Okay, by the way. By the way, winner gets, a Modelo, or as they say in the South, a Modelo. Okay. And loser also gets a Modelo. Are we all playing for some, I want to play for a charity. I'm going to play, I'm going to play for the girls, Boys and Girls Club of Venice Beach. Okay. Corinne, who are you playing for tonight? Girls and Boys Club of Rancho San Fe. Oh. With the Girls and Boys Club? We got a turf war. It's different. Mindy, who are you playing for? Who are you playing for tonight? You got to play for a charity. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I can just pick a charity? We're going to donate Modelo's to this specific Boys and Girls Club of your choice. Oh. Oh, it has to be Boys and Girls Club? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just name a city. Oh. Omaha. Nebraska. Perfect. Perfect. I think they already have beer in that one. That's what got them in the Boys and Girls Club in the first place. Sorry. Sorry, Omaha. Oh. Not really. That's unfortunate. Last question. The president employs about 90 staffers categorized as personal. Personal aides. During the shutdown, how many of those 90 will stay on the job? Closest guess wins. Oh. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Stay on the job? How many of the staff? These are all staffers. These are, yes, personal aides to the president. He has 90 of them. Much like I do. I'll do, I'll do, I'll do 50. 50 out of 90 will stay on the job. Kareem, the Dreamatics. I'm going to go with 60. 60. Mindy, can I hear a $1 from you? I was going to say. The price is right at? Nine. Nine out of 90. A ballsy guess. Well, the winner of the Modelo, Mindy in the back. What the fuck? How do nine people stay on staff? 15 people out of 90 will stay on staff. Yep. You love, you love, you love government shutdowns, don't you? She's a government shutdown historian. That's what she really gets up for. I guess I will write the book. I was going to guess 50%, but I was just like, that's way too reasonable. That wouldn't happen at the highest level of our government. I went 50, so I was trying to go around 50%. Did you see how pissed I just got, by the way? Yeah, you were really, you really wanted that. You wanted that bad. Wow, God. Congratulations, Mindy. The Boys and Girls Club of Omaha will be receiving a 12-pack of Modelo Especials. They would cheer, but they're already drunk. Get drunk with me, children. Get drunk with Mindy. She will lead you astray. All right, wow. Well, that was a rousing game. We need some good, we need some good, like, theme music for your games from now on. I'll come up with something, yeah. All right, we need good theme music going forward, but that was, that was fun, okay? That was interesting. I gained some knowledge there, I think. All right, well, if you want to, if we got Ring of Fire coming up next, we're going to talk more government shutdown. It just doesn't stop. We're like Piers Morgan without the, you know, yelling. And so stay with us. Drop us a line, 800-893-9562 or at sarcasticnews1 on Twitter. Kareem is working the line there. And, yeah, we've got Ring of Fire coming up next, and we will be right back here on Sarcastic News Live. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. No story time. No, no. No story time. And we're back on Sarcastic News Live. I like that. By the way, we don't need it yet, but we have the Ring of Fire. Awesome. Okay, we don't need it yet. We don't need it yet. We've got a Ring of Fire segment coming up, and I'm pretty excited about this one because we're going to dive into the government shutdown. I know Jake and Kareem, you guys are pretty divided when it comes to the subject of who's right or wrong on this, right? And so before we get going, are you ready, Mindy, for the Ring of Fire? We've got it. Just another second. Okay. All right. I think we've got it coming here. This is the Ring of Fire. There we go. Da-da-da. Least rhythmic hand clapping right now. It's a burning thing. The best is. I'm looking at myself on camera right now. I'm the stiffest man in the world. I look like Christopher Walken. A fiery rain. Do-do-do-do. Hold on. I want to keep it going. If you haven't seen our show, what we do is we just keep playing Ring of Fire song. While Justin tries to get the beat right. I fell into a ring of fire. I feel like I'm trying to get some mosquitoes right now. I'm just trying to smash mosquitoes. Come here. The flames get higher. And it burns. Burns. Burns. The ring of fire. Oh, I didn't know what they were talking about. I was like, my herpes burns. Burns. Burns. Class. All right. So we got the government shut down. And first of all, I know you guys are pretty starkly divided. Kareem here. Kareem the Dream and Jake the Snake. And guys, I just, before we get going, just be straight up with me. And feel free to just fire away at each other. I mean, I want to have a civil debate. I want to have a very civil discourse over this. But who do you feel? The Republicans or the Democrats? Who is at fault for the government shutdown here? All right. Let me just give you a background. All right. Politics 101. Okay. Okay. A law. There's a law. All right. Okay. It arrives in the form of a bill. Okay. All right. You debate it. You rally the people. Yeah. Gather the caucuses. All right. Tally the votes. Yeah. If you lose. Yeah. Appeal to the courts. Take to the courts. Go all the way to the Supreme Court. Okay. If you still lose, attempt to pick up the spots in the legislature during the next election cycle. And even the Oval Office. All right. So they tried to do that. Yeah. Mitt Romney lost. So if you lose, which they did again, do the job you were sent to Washington to do. Right. And allow the government to function like normal government. All right. And then if you don't like the system, then go somewhere where you did. You know, I hate to say it. I sound like a Republican saying that. If you don't like our country, get out of here. But that's the way it works. So I think it's, you know, the right and wrong here is pretty clearly defined. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no. What do you think about this? I'm not so sure about that, Kareem. I think my thoughts could best be expressed in the following sound clip. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, that was Bill Kristol and the other guy yelling at each other from the other night. This is what modern politics is, Justin. Oh, I get it. It's who can yell the loudest at the other person. There might be a slightly lower... And when was it passed? Ah! Sorry. I always want to just scream every time. That was sweet. That was 20 years ago. Ah! My opinion, my opinion. What else did they have today? I love... Dude, the best is... Okay, so I was Googling that or I was YouTubing like that clip because I watched Piers Morgan last night and I saw that. And the first thing, I was looking for Bill Kristol and the first thing it said, it was like, like, Bill Kristol takes down like whatever his name is. Like, I like how that's... First of all, that's how people view it. And the guy who posted it was like, like Mitt Romney for life or something like that versus like Handel. And it's like, I get it. It's on the Democratic end too, but it's just like anybody, either side who looks at it like, like, you know, like somebody put their cock in somebody else's mouth. Yeah! You know, like it's... It's like a playoff football game. Right, exactly. Like nobody's tailgating before these things, are they? Ted Cruz might be. Ted Cruz. So yeah, you know, but honestly, okay, so this happened back in the 90s, okay? Last time it happened, was 17 years ago, as Kareem noted. 19, whatever that was, 94 or something. 94, 95, somewhere in there. Okay, so back then, the Republicans were, it was when Bill Clinton was president, the Republicans, led by Newt Gingrich, did the same type of thing over some different issues, but it hurt the Republicans overall. The Republicans did not look good, right? So I want to know, do you guys feel like this is an effective way? I mean, do you feel like the Republicans are going to turn out the same way as they did back then? Or is it going to fall more on President Obama's lap saying, hey, he could have done more to negotiate and alleviate this situation? No, I mean, the circumstances are different this time. The intricacies are a little bit different. So you can't just say, oh, it's going to be the exact same way. But I do think it's going to look bad for the Republicans. I don't think it's going to be something where they come out in a positive light on this. What do you think, Kareem? Do they come out at all on the winning side on this one? Or is it... I don't know. Just to play, devil's advocate, I think they're hiding behind the poll numbers, right? So they say that Obamacare... Also, there was an interesting article about they surveyed, they did a poll, Obamacare versus Affordable Care Act, the ACA. And of course, the Affordable Care Act was far more popular than Obamacare. It's the same bill. It's the same law. So they're kind of hiding behind these poll numbers saying that, oh, you know, Obamacare is wildly unpopular. So we're, you know, standing up for the people. And I just, I can't believe that that's, you know, that's going to work. The government has been literally shut down. You know, I can still send snail mail, but... You can still skew poll numbers like any way you want it. It's not like there's one poll. It's just you can make polls say whatever you want them to say, basically. Well, that's what I... Because that was one thing that on Piers and Ryan, I was watching. They basically, you can use poll numbers. You can say, oh, well, poll numbers show this. And then the other guy will say, oh, poll numbers show this. There's only one... I mean, you know, you can use poll numbers At some point, there's got to be some objectivism as far as like what, you know, what are these poll numbers? Who's polling them? What bothers me is you watch these things and you watch Piers Morgan. I thought in some ways he did a decent job, but it's like you have a service to your crowd if they're irregular. Like when they say these poll numbers say this and these poll numbers say this, you've got to sit there and go, what poll numbers are you talking about? You know? And what are you using to measure the success of the polls? Like, right. Right. And it just, fundamentally, it's a law that has been passed. Right? So to shut the government down over something that has already, you know, is dust in the wind is just so unreasonable. Dust in the wind. Obama won't negotiate. Well, he doesn't have to negotiate because it's already been negotiated. All we are is dust in the wind. No, you know what? Here's something a little different though, but I want to go back to the Piers Morgan thing because it's like, I'm watching this thing. They did a whole, a whole hour, right? And what it did, of the screaming and yelling. Well, here's the deal though. It was an hour of this whole thing and it's like all, like it was made for the people, right? Like the people, you know, they had like this one lady who got furloughed. She's in the military, all this, or somehow worked in the military, right? But she got furloughed. She wasn't getting paid. And there's this whole crowd and they bring in, I can't remember the Democrat's name, but Bill Kristol from the Weekly Standard. They bring these guys in and they start debating and then they have two other people who are just talking heads. And it literally becomes a four person shout panel. And there's this whole crowd that's just sitting there going, what the fuck is going on? Like literally, and then once in a while they'll hear something they like and they're like, yes, yes. You know, it's like the mob scene from the Simpsons a little bit, but like with no, it was even worse than that. There's a guy with a pitchfork in the audience. Pretty much. I think I saw Groundskeeper Willie, you know, like just hanging out. Like why do they even do these shows? That's what I want to know. Like are these shows valuable at all, do you feel like? No. If they get ratings, they do them. That's basically it. Whatever gets people to watch. I've long given up on looking at CNN or Fox News or anything for actual news. I watch Hannity because it's a great comedy. It's really funny. Things that he says, you know, but. You really just follow the tickers and the tops of caps to get your news. Yeah, exactly. I might as well. I mean, for all the information that I'm actually getting. Right. But yeah, it's, I don't know. Where do you guys get your news from? Uh. Don't say you don't get news, okay? No, no, no. I get news. It's just from a variety of different sources. Yahoo? Namely, Twitter and The Daily Show. Okay. Yeah. And then occasionally I'll have to do some research for the show so I don't sound like an idiot so I'll go on like CNN.com or something. See, what's so funny is there's a new, a channel called Russian Television. Yeah. Right? And my dad put me on this and it's, it's funny because it's like they have a show called like The Big Picture and they, and the host actually is just as incredulous as we are about the mainstream media and like how far, you know, they'll go to spread lies and, you know, tell their viewers essentially what they want to hear and just use hyperbole to rile people up and they're just like, what, you know, and they spend half the time doing that and half the time actually doing some pretty decent coverage on the news. So I'd like to watch that. So we're like Russian Television without the news part. Yeah. Without facts, really. Right. Um, well, let me, let me ask you this. Do you feel like this is going to really, is this like a black mark on America's image or do you feel like nobody really cares that much? I feel like nobody really cares, to be honest. Outside of the US, I feel like this is extremely minor news. Like they might, they might touch on a little bit and be like, oh, what the hell are they doing? But in, in a week's time, two weeks time, I don't think this is going to be a black mark of any sort. Yeah. Um, I think it will be forgotten quickly, but at the same time, it's like, you know, you go to a different country and say, we think that you should do this, this, and this. And they're, you know, they could always be like, why don't you just figure out what you're doing first and then, you know, come to us. Um, it's like the slowest kid on the cross country team is the captain telling you to run faster. It's like, I'm already faster than you. I hated when, I hated when Snake Craney would try to tell me how, like, you know. You needed to lift your quads more, man. Dude, you were always trying to tell me how to pace myself. I could see you from way back in the business. No, you're right though. And it's, it's interesting because I don't think it's really like, I think it's more of a systemic thing, right? Because it's, it's, it's not the fact that like, hey, is this going to have a huge economic impact? Because I don't think it will after a few days. It's the fact that it's happening in the first place. It's the fact that it's the process of it. It's, this is just a minor result of what you saw on Piers Morgan the other day. And I, if you haven't seen it, it's, it's absurd. Watch it just because that's absurd. Because you're having a, you have actual civilian people in the crowd and instead what you do is you spend an hour's time like having people just yell. This show has more value than what happened last night on Piers Morgan. And, and I hate this show. The show we do. Not a fan. Not a fan of it, you know. Call an 800-893-9562 to Sarcastic News Live. No. It's just, it's, it's ridiculous to me. And I don't know. I get angry. I get incredulous. I agree. I do want to, I do want to, I do want to change subjects real quick. A big, important news story this week. Michael Jackson's family lost the lawsuit against AEG. Live. They were claiming that AEG hired Conrad, is it Murray or Murphy or whatever, who gave Michael Jackson a lethal dose of propetol. Propetol. Propetol. Sorry, I need to be a drug addict. Effectively ending his life. The jury concluded though that AEG did in fact hire Dr. Murray or Murphy, but also ruled that he was competent, thereby absolving AEG. My question to you guys is, do you agree with the ruling? And, I don't know. I love Michael Jackson. Do you agree with the ruling or do you think that AEG should have to fork over something for kind of adding this stress and pushing MJ over the edge? Kareem the Dream. Yeah, no, I mean, the hardest hitting subject we've ever had. Yeah, seriously. But, no, I mean, AEG is, they paid for, you know, the doctor because, you know, Michael Jackson was doing the tour for them or, you know, whatever the circumstances were. Yeah. But, Murray was a lifelong friend of Michael Jackson. You know, he's been his personal physician for years. Yeah. So, Michael Jackson wanted this guy. And, I don't think, I think he sold more albums since he died than when he was alive. Right? So, I think the, family is well taken care of and this is kind of, you know, it's kind of, it's a little bit depressing to see. Right. You know, it's kind of a, I agree, it's kind of a grab for some sort of closure or justice when it doesn't really need to, to go that route. In fairness, and this was just a report that I saw, they were going to take the money if they won the lawsuit and donate it to plastic surgery. So, there was, it was a, it was more of a charitable thing. The Plastic Surgery Foundation? Right. Is that run by the Boys and Girls Club of Omaha? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, they're going to get a 12 pack of Modelo and, all right. Well, it's a rousing, that was fun. That was a little ring of fire there. And Mindy, do we have the ring of fire to close out here on the, sorry, no, I'm throwing you on this, but no, it's okay. That's okay. That's all right. All right. Well, we're going to be right back. We got comedian Rob Weissman set to call in here. Very excited. The guy is crazy. You're going to love him. Rob Weissman calling in, a comedian here in LA. If you have anything else, I'll call us, 800-893-9562. The lines have been blown on ball night, 800-893-9562. You're listening, listening to Sarcastic News Live. Yes, there are a lot of people. This is what happens when everybody in America has access to healthcare. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Who's that, Snake? That was Justin Cross. Singing in his normal voice. That was a Scottish band called Churches. Oh, okay. All right. It's something I've never attended. All right. So, we've got, I think we, I'm excited back here. My name is Justin Cross. This is Sarcastic News Live. We've got Kareem the Dream, Maddox sitting right across from me, Jake the Snake Craney, from Ground, on loan from groundsounds.com, and joining us via the Jack in the Box hot mess phone line, a good friend of mine and comedian, Rob Weissman. Is that my turn to talk? It's your turn. You can hear me when I say that? Because this is, I have a confession to make. This is the first time I've been on a radio call show before. How do you feel about it? Are you nervous? Well, it's weird because I feel like I'm being introduced to all these new people via phone that I'm in like some weird. You are. When I first called, like when I was first on hold, I heard the show going. I tried to talk and then I just realized I wasn't being heard. I was like, oh, this is already getting awkward. Was it, Rob, was it one of those things because there's always that moment when you're on the phone with like a girlfriend or something like that and you, or with the phone with somebody and all of a sudden it just kind of cuts off and you just start, you keep talking for like two minutes and you can't even remember where you left off? Oh, you know me. That's my problem. Like, yeah, that phone, I start going and I'm on the train and all of a sudden everyone's at the station. And I'm in like the next state. That's right. That's right. That's right. How do you feel? I want to ask you about this. How do you feel your home state of Ohio right now? A lot going on right now in Ohio. I mean, you guys got the, now did the Indians lose? We're checking on that right now. I think the Indians, I think the Indians are going to lose. How do you feel? I mean, you guys. I'll tell you when it comes to professional sports and being from Ohio, you don't really root for teams much, at least a lot. I mean, at least I don't. There's a lot of diehard fans. There, but it is a very depressing thing. I usually just root for players. Like when it comes to the NFL. Like I will choose players that I like to call them around. But the team, like in Chicago, you have the Billy Goat curse and you know, the Boston had somewhat the babe curse. Yeah. Cleveland doesn't have a curse. Just a lot of crappy playing. Yeah. They're the bottom of the ninth, but they're about to lose. They're in the bottom of the ninth, Rob. They're about to lose. I can tell you're following it, closely. I, I wish I did. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I, he's in a, he's in a sadness shelter. But you just get like, you just get so used to losing. It's just like, oh, whatever. I was, when I was a kid, I was just like a, I lived in between kind of Cleveland and Detroit. So I was like, usually would be more of a sport. I was, well, I was going to say, I mean, did you, did you just wear shit colored shirts everywhere you went to? Hey, hey, hey, you mean browns for the browns? lovely vibrant color for a franchise. No, I was a, I was a Pistons fan, man. Made some good years. Well, I was going to say, if you, if you live between Cleveland and Detroit, even Kentucky's sitting there going, damn, dude, come on. Like, they felt bad about, felt bad for you. Yeah, we had, the lake caught on fire once. I don't know if you've ever heard that story before. How did the lake get caught on, how did that even work? How did the lake get caught on fire? It's Lake Erie. It's the most heavily traveled body of fresh water. I mean, you guys have the internet in front of me, in front of you. This is a, I don't know how big of a fact this is, but from what I understand, it's one of the most heavily traveled bodies of fresh water, like, in this hemisphere or in the world. So there's all kinds of gas on it, like gasoline and oil from the boat. So right around Cleveland where the Cuyahoga River meets Lake Erie, it caught on fire. Really? Years ago. We've got internet in the studio, but it's dial-up, so this is the rat cage. Oh, really? Yeah. So, so, let me ask you this, Rob. Let me get your take. I know you follow politics a little bit. What do you think about the shutdown right now? I mean, are you, have you had a shutdown party, you know, kind of like a hurricane party or like, how are you, how are you ringing in the government shutdown? Oh, man, I'm just glad the bus system still works, man. That's a good place to play. No, it's not the anarchy on the streets you think it would be, is it? No, no. People are just more like, that's okay, I'm going to get paid anyway. So, oh, man, I, I don't know. How do I feel about it? I mean, I think it's a, it's a big ploy. I think that they're just using it as a bargaining ship. Like the, the well-being of the lives of Americans is like this bargaining ship that for strange, just popping circumstances. It's really, it's just kind of like, here, here I am. I can make a mess if I want to, but it's what it seems like to me. Do you feel like, do you feel like the, the, I mean, do you, do you feel like the gridlock in Washington, is that ever going to end? Do you feel like the, you know, will, will they ever get along? Will they actually, you know, start to pass meaningful bills on a regular basis or is this just, do you think this is just something that's going to continue? Well, I think, I think that's a, that's a big, that's a big question. I, I think right now, isn't it because there's all the tea partiers that like got elected by their ultra, ultra right wing, the states that they live in, the districts, they're like so right wing, so it's just, in that state, it's always going to be Republican and it's always going to be right wing. It's just, who can be the most right wing where a lot of this comes from? I know. So they have to do these things to show how hardcore they are, you know, just against Obama. Let me ask you, let me ask you this, Rob, what, what is the most right wing stance you have? Like, how are you the most right? Like, everyone has like a liberal side and a conservative side, whether they like it or not. What's your, what's your most conservative side in you? Like, tell me, like, what is the thing that you do that, like, if people didn't know you, they'd be like, oh my God, like that Rob Weisman, I mean, he is, uh, hmm. He bleeds elephant. He bleeds elephant. It's the mascot. I do say, it does make me a little nervous that we all do have to sign up for health care, that it's like, absolutely, everybody has to do it, that there is no choice. Right, but you have, you have to get car insurance, like you have to have car insurance. So, I, I, I, who said that I was all for that? That everybody should absolutely have, I think, I think all of it is really, Is that why you're in the, is that why you take the bus everywhere? I don't take the bus. I saw one going by and I thought, quick gag, boom, storm. All right, so, so you, it makes you a little nervous about health care. Well, it's just like, I think all this, like, I don't think the health care, I mean, I don't know, I'm not an expert on the bill or anything, but I think a lot of it was probably tailored by the insurance company that, uh, like, really do have huge control over, like, like, okay, the hospital system, they make, hospitals make so much money. There's like some time article that I didn't read, but I saw an interview with the guy who did write it, so, a good thing this is on sarcastic news, not real, you know, factual news. Even if you are, it doesn't matter on real factual news, so don't, don't even worry about it. I watched CNN last night. People are like, you hear the sarcastic news last night, man, they solved all the problems. They had a great idea. We really are the beacon of trust. If more people just sat around a table drinking beers, I think they get a lot done. I think we do a pretty amazing job. So, but Rob, do you, I mean, come on, I mean, especially for you, dude, I mean, just think about how, how many women and or small children you have given STDs to, okay? I mean, come on. I think of myself as a victim. I don't, I don't, no. I, I, I've been hurt before and I just don't know, I mean, I don't know how the, how the whole system's gonna work. I haven't tried Obamacare out yet. I haven't put it on and worn it around town yet. So, I don't know how it, I don't know how it works on me, man. I don't know how I'm, how I wear it. So, what do you think about Obamacare versus the Affordable Health, is it the Affordable Health Care Act? Is that what? Affordable Care Act. Affordable Care Act. Which one? Yeah. There's a difference? Is that, is that Obamacare? That's the thing, there's not. There's just the, the one, one sounds cooler and one sounds not as cool. I heard, I was listening to, I was listening to NPR and I heard Obama call it Obamacare. Oh, yeah. like something. I think it was, it was more cocky. It's like, ha ha, one day they're going to call this Obamacare. What's up? Because it's so awesome and he's going to be, go down in history. But, well, Rob, we, we got to get going here, my man, but thank you for calling in tonight and I want to know real quick, where can people come check you out on the web? On the web? Yeah, or, or, or in real life or? You can, well, real life right now, I'm coming, I'm on right now in Main Street, Santa Monica, on the street itself, getting out of, open, open, open mic, flash show. Big time comedian, Rob. Whatever. Yeah, big time, big time. Hey man, I'm in the people. Never lose the common touch, Justin. That's what I always tell you. No, not at all, not at all. But, you got my, I, I do have, of course, Facebook, Robert Weissman, W-E-I-S-S-M-I-N, internet. We're not a dating website, Rob. This isn't, you give away your, what's your eHarmony handle? By E-I, I've, man, I'm on Tinder all the time. I'm a lady, so, so, yeah. Oh, man. I'm on a Tinder bender, 24-7. His, his, what is it? His, his, yeah, oh yeah, Tinder. You love Tinder, don't you? I, Tinder, I, I find that I, it's another excuse to, I look at my phone in another way that I can embarrass myself drunk at 3 a.m. on a Saturday night in front of, like, strangers I haven't met. So, yeah, sure, I'm all for it. Uh, we'll catch, if you guys haven't, check out, Rob Weissman, he's a very funny comedian, he's crazy. Uh, Rob, we want you to call in soon, and, and if you haven't checked him out on Tinder, uh, his, uh, his handle is, uh, you don't have a Tinder, you don't have a Tinder handle, it's up to God, man. check, check, check, check him out on eHarmony, it's, it's hung underscore chosen one, hung underscore chosen one. Wild, wildrob.com, uh, I think it's up and running, so check that out. You think, are you gonna talk to your internet guy or something? I'm, I'm, I'm really listening to this. Yeah. It's really not just you two guys, really? Oh, great. Dude, this is, everyone who's anyone, this is gonna make you famous. I'll call you later, and I'll, and I'll find out how I did. All right. You did, you did well, you did well, Rob. Thanks for calling in, my man. We'll have, we'll have you live in studio sometime, live, not dead. Oh, man. Oh, man, awesome. Can't wait. All right, Rob. That day was today. All right, man. Have a good one. Later. Thanks for calling in. That's Rob Weissman, comedian Rob Weissman. You can check him out at a gas station, I think. He'll be playing. He's at the local 76. That's right. That's right. Now, we've only got three minutes to go, and in, in the sake of time here, we're, we're gonna just keep it, keep it rolling here, Snake. Do you have any, any fake advertisers for us? I don't have any fake advertisers, but I have an exciting new sponsor for our show. All right, all right. Who is that? We are actually, this is a big one, guys. We are, we are, tonight's show is being, is being sponsored by the state of North Dakota. That's right. Wow. North Dakota, existing since 1889. So they're, they're functioning. Not, not a lot going on there for them to brag about. I will say, North Dakota, no, you know what they do have to brag about? They have, they have like the lowest unemployment rate out of all the states in the country. Like a 5% or 6%. Only one out of their 12 residents is unemployed. Well, hey, per capita, baby. You want to move to North Dakota? You got yourself a good job. You got a good shot. Kareem, do we have any, any Twitter followers that we want to give a shout out to? let's give a shout out to Mary B, who reached out to us, but she's one of the 800,000 people who's heard a little bit from the government shutdown. Okay. All right. And also, I wanted to give a shout out because I like the name that is on, on record as Sandy Kush. Oh yeah. I saw, I saw Sandy Kush was following us recently. And also, let's give a shout out to Club Sky. All right. There's a story behind that one, but I just wanted to get that on the record. We actually, we're also being, I just remembered this one. I was driving back last night and all the Twitter followers pop up on my cell phone. And this literally, I looked down and it says, because I text when I drive. And, and I looked down and it says, it says, at awkward pube hair is now following you. And with an exclamation point. I was very excited to follow you. Guys, well, thank you so much. We have, we're launching a new site this week. It's not, it's fully up, but we, we're pretty excited about it. It's got a semi right now. Yeah. It's, it's got a, it's got a chub. It's got a chub. That's sarcastic-news.com. And Kareem has been doing some great stuff on our Twitter feed and on Facebook. That's at sarcastic news one or facebook.com slash sarcastic news one. We've got more coming too. We're going to, we're going to be clipping together these interviews. We're going to recap the show. We're going to make this digestible and interesting and fun, which is, which is a lot of, it's going to take a lot of Photoshopping really. Um, because, uh, you know, we got a lot of makeover to do, but thanks for listening to us guys. This is sarcastic, uh, sarcastic news live. My name is Justin Cross for Kareem Maddox, Jake the snake cranny. We, uh, appreciate you listening and we'll be back next Wednesday with LA time to writer, uh, or entertainment reporter, August Brown will be joining us. So we're very excited about that. Join us next week here on sarcastic news live. See, I've been here for 28 years. 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