Episode

I made it, sex, and I got mine. I fought the law and I won. I fought the law and I won. A lot of new shoes because they're my friends. I'll have this country run. Trinches are the best things I ever had. Right on. Hey. Hey. What's going on? Welcome to the I'm Burger podcast. Podcast, Sam's Burger one more time while he's on the road. What's he doing? Real comedy gigs? What is he? Some sort of an adult with a job and stuff. Where is he at right now? Is he? Do we even know? I think Fresno. Is he in Fresno? Fres- That makes- Fres- Fres-no? Is that what the kids said? The great city of Fresno, California. Look all of us there. I'm actually going to be there twice next month. It's going to be awful. Oh, Talmo, you're going to get hooked on meth in no time. I know. I mean, they listen to us tell jokes out there. That's the good thing about them. Yes, they do. So, it's Fresno. It's a great state. A great state. It is a state of its own. Is it a state or is it- It's a city. It's a state of their own problem. It's a state of agriculture. Yeah. Fresno is my favorite state. The 51st- They are a state in their own world. Fresno. I don't know. I'm sober tonight, so my mind is not here. Let's get away from Talmo. Oh, my God. Hey. We got a creep in the window. Who's that? Howdy. Oh. Howdy. There he is. There he go. That was kind of creepy. I just couldn't keep getting creepy. Please close that curtain right now. I know. No, I'd say leave it open forever. Well, guys, if you're listening, just in case, the 800 number is 800-893-9562. Just in case. Just in case you're listening. No pressure. And you're guest hosting tonight. I guess I am. Yeah. We're rotating this. April, by the way, is still a woman. She's just very ill. She's plain hurt. She's got a voice issue. Yeah. She's a woman. She's a trooper. She's a young woman, not a 75-year-old with serious lung cancer. No. Emphysema. No, I was just... You got to stop joking on all that. Well, Preston, you said that she sounded like a Scarlett Johansson. She has a little Scarlett Johansson thing going on. I hear that. I mean, it matches the hair and, you know. Scarlett Johansson does not have red hair. Huh? It matches her hair from the Avengers movies. And the boobs, I'd say. Yeah, and the boobs. And the shit right there. So, anyways. I'm trying to hit the road. I'm trying to hit the sound effects, but I don't hear anything. It's okay. We'll learn as we go. We're going to... We're going to... This is a learning curve, guys. We're playing house. We are. We are. We're manning the fort. Yes. Taking on the I'm Burger podcast. It's the four of us right now. This is very interesting. It's very... It's very... It's intimate. Very home. It's like an open mic outside, and we're just hanging out and talking. We're just talking in a microphone now. Okay. Anyways. Everybody have a good weekend. Apparently, I lost my voice. So, you had a great weekend. Yeah. Ooh, how was your 420? It was awesome. I... April, I ate weed again on Sunday. I heard. I heard. And he smoked wax for the first time. Oh, Jesus. I don't even like smoking wax. Actually, that's exactly what I wanted to talk about was at the event I went to, HempCon, they have all these different booths and stuff where people can give out free wax hits or cheap wax hits. I've never seen so many girls... Just like completely fish out and like fall to the ground and have paramedics. They just eat too many edibles. They did too much wax. Wow. Well, I figured out... That's safe. I figured out at PUI that I should pace myself when I'm eating weed. So, like there was banana bread there. So, I had, you know, two bites and then I'd wait a couple hours. Banana weed bread? Banana weed bread? Oh, it was glorious. It was really good. I ate a little bit. It was really tasty. Wow. And it got me high. And then a friend who will not be named shoved weed up my... Up his ass is an experiment. Wow. It works, guys. I heard all about that. Yes. She got it up with some coconut oil so it was nice and organic. She got a text from another person we won't mention. I got a text message and I like that I'm the go-to like weed official, like aficionado that... Oh, he asked if it was going to work? Yeah, I got a text message. Wow. Hey, April, my friend snuck a nug of weed up his ass. You think it's going to work? I was like, um, probably. Wow. But that's awesome. How's he feeling? He's like, oh yeah, he looks high as fuck. No, he was... He did also... He did also eat an edible though. Yeah. Yeah. But no, he was feeling good but, you know, later I think was when it was weird. Yeah. When you shit out nugs. Jesus. Of weed. Apparently he's my friend too. Is he? Oh, we'll tell you after. Oh, yeah. We'll tell you after. Apparently he's my... Yeah. If you guys are all friends with him, I'm pretty sure I'm friends with him too. You saw him tonight. You saw him two hours ago. Oh, well. Well, I saw a bunch of people. Now Tom is not going to be able to follow us on podcast. No, I'm going to narrow it down to 45 comments I saw. Which one of the four? 45 comments I saw two hours ago that would definitely stick weed up their ass actually did it. Yeah. Which also that wouldn't narrow it down at all. Was it Gus? Gus. It was Gus. It was Gus. It was the Greek bartender. He played his trumpet and then shoved a nug of weed up his ass. I just trump it with his ass. Yeah. He plays trumpet out of his ass. That would be... I would pay to see that actually. I would too. That's a freak show that is worth inventing a speech. Yes. Okay. Moving right along. Let's get to it. Let's get to it. Topics that we're not high or drunk on. Let's do it. Let's do it. Right. We're going to talk about the militia guy, right? Yeah. And we went over it last week, but this... There's just such retouch on it. Retouch a little bit, but he said some crazy shit on Saturday that the New York Times released today in a video. And I just want to read some of these quotes. And this is just... Like Fox News and shit have been putting him up like on a pedestal like, oh, what a patriot and shit. He's standing up to the federal government. This man is the only American left in the country. All this kind of stuff. And he's a great... Like he's... Look up to him, kids. He's an aspirational figure. He should be president. Yes, exactly. And this might get... It's kind of long, but it's worth saying. Okay. So he started about... He started this. This is a quote from Cliven Bundy, Nevada rancher who doesn't want to pay his taxes to the federal government. Best name member, by the way. He doesn't have to talk to him. Quote, I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro. He said, Mr. Bundy recalled driving past a public housing project in North Las Vegas. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. is usually open in the older people and the kids. And there is always at least half a dozen people sitting on the porch. That's just rude. Yeah. Let's not do this anymore. And there is always at least half a dozen people sitting on the porch. They didn't have nothing to do. They didn't have nothing for their kids to do. They didn't have nothing for their young girls to do. And he continues. And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do? They abort their children. They put their young men in jail because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I've often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn't get no more freedom. They got less freedom. Clive and Bundy. Thanks, Fox News. Next American president. Next. Bundy. Bundy. Another thing that didn't work. Which is the South? Would have won the Civil War. I mean, like, fuck. Get past the fucking tax issue with this guy. I mean, he... He's a terrible fucking person. He's a little lazy. That's all it is. Is he on his deathbed anyways? How old is this guy? No, he's like 65. No, he's on his deathbed. He's on my terms. How old do you think people live now? 65. He looks fine. He looks like a... He's wearing fucking cowboy hats. He's out. He's holding his fucking AK-47 when the guys come and, you know, do... You know, like a true... Like a true, not racist American. Patriot. Patriot he is. That's Nevada. What part of Nevada is he? Like, is it lower... Hunt, fuck Nevada, apparently. Well, that's like 98% Nevada. Yeah, exactly. That's the name of the entire state of Nevada. Oh, yeah. Anywhere but Vegas. It's not in Laughlin, then. Yeah, it's just like California. Except for San Francisco. I hope he has diabetes that way. Oh, God. Is that Wilford Brimley? Of course it is. Who else has diabetes? Oh, Connor's learning the board, guys. She's learning the board tonight. That fucking... Stop trying, you sniveling ass. Yes! We have 46 minutes of podcast left. Let's see how many sounds we can hear in that time. Yes. And we all stop talking now. Go, April. Go. By the way, there's no alcohol or weed involved. Unfortunately... Yeah, exactly. Unfortunately. This show's already out here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, no, no, no. Let's immediately stop this and never touch a sound effect again. You got it, you got it. Moving right along. How long is the sound effect going? This is the longest sound effect I've ever watched. It's like a three-minute scene. Let's talk about this. It's like a monologue. Are we done with this fucking situation? This Bundy situation? I don't care if you guys want to talk about it anymore. I just wanted to get these quotes out there because he's a fucking nut job and people need to stop pretending that he's like a good American standing up to the fucking government. Here's what I'll say and then I don't give a shit anymore. Any... Really? Like, okay. He's a good... No, he's a fucking piece of shit that they don't want to pay. He's a free lawyer. He hasn't fucking paid taxes in 25 years. It has nothing to do and it's just all the crazy fucking militia insiders. Insane people are like, he's one of us and he is one of you. He's a fucking retard. He's a fucking stupid idiot. But wait a minute. And the thing that pisses me off because there's total double standard where, you know, if a group... If a fucking black guy and his buddies didn't pay taxes and the IRS comes to his house and is like, oh yeah, you need to pay taxes and then he brings out a bunch of guns. And a bunch of other black people? And a bunch of other black people. You think fucking Sean Hannity is going to get on his pulpit and say, oh, this guy's an American hero standing up to the federal government? Of course not. You also think if Obama wasn't in the White House that this would be going this way? No, of course not. Exactly. No one's actually paying taxes since Obama's been in office. So that's been going on. That's actually really true. But they are signing up for healthcare. Yeah, everyone's on healthcare now. They're signing up for healthcare but no one's... By the way, if Obama is listening, I have an issue. I was supposed to get my healthcare... This is directly to President Obama because I know he's a huge Dimeburger podcast fan. He loves... He's listening to us. I was supposed to get my packet within 30 to 60 days. It's now been over 60 days. Can you please contact me and explain to me what the fuck is happening? Also, Obama, I got a gripe. All they wanted to do was just wanted people to, you know, let them know what their income was. Guys, this is the segment of the show where we talk personally to President Obama who's a huge fan and listens live. Obama, again, if you want to call in, Mr. President, 800-893-9562. Yeah, but he does... He takes every Thursday from 10 to 11 off. Mr. President, I voted for you twice. Why is my grandma still alive? She's a big fan. She's got a sweet condo. I was told that grandparents were going to be getting killed as soon as Obamacare got initiated into policy. Damn it. That's how it works. I want to go to my condo in Palm Beach. It's rightfully mine. All right, moving along. Moving along. Moving along. That was our Obamacare moment, guys. Our Obamacare moment. We just had the anniversary of the Boston Marathon. That's the one-year anniversary. The one-year anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing. It happened... It was last week, right? Patriots Day. The other day. Okay. Patriots Day last year. It was last... Yeah, it was last Monday. Was Patriots Day a Boston day or is that a... It's a bullshit holiday. Is it earlier this week? All Patriots Day is is it's the day of the Boston Marathon and it's like, let's not go to work or do anything. What? Yeah. That's honestly what it is. It's not a national holiday. They ran it this Tuesday, right? But the anniversary of the bombing last year was last week? Yes. Correct. Okay. Anyways, some cunt. Some cunt, basically. Not the official cunt, but some cunt. His name was Cave-On, but his real name's Kevin. Not the comedian. Not the comedian. But he wants no one's real name as Cave-On. Cave-On. You know, because he wanted to be artsy, decided that it would be a good idea to put a backpack on the finish line. A black backpack, the same as what we used to kill people. Was it a Jansport? Was it a Jans... I don't know, but it did have a rice cooker in it and then they... It had a rice cooker in it. Yep, and then they had to detonate it on... They had to detonate a rice cooker. Because they thought it was an actual bomb. Because that was the original bomb. It was a rice cooker. It was a rice cooker. It did a controlled... Like a controlled detonation because they didn't know what was in it. So a girl that I went to high school with lives like right there in Copley and said that... It's a nice little area. It's a beautiful area. It's great. And she said that it shook her whole entire building and that, you know, they were saying that it wasn't really, you know, that they were just testing something, but she's like, no, it like rattled my whole house. Like, no, they really did like blow something up down there. And then it turns out that the kid is... It's just some weird little art student who is like super weird, artsy. Like, you have to look at his YouTube. He sent a video to Lady Gaga. He was like in a straight jacket. It is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in my life. People need to stop putting YouTube videos up. He said he was doing an art installation. Yes, basically. He tried to claim it was an art installation. Okay. I, again, have lots of... I mean, April's from there and I lived there for a couple of years and I have lots of... I live right down the street from where the end of the movie marathon is. I lived on Boylston. I worked on Boylston. I have friends that work even closer to where that is. And when that happened, when that fucking backpack was found, like not last year, not even going to talk about that, but this new bullshit backpack, that motherfucker basically can never be in the city of Boston again. No, here's my idea for his punishment, okay? Next St. Patrick's Day, he goes to Boston. He goes to some fucking super drunk bar. They set up a boxing ring. He puts on headgear and boxing gloves and he has to fight 20 people for a 12, one minute round against whatever drunk fuck on St. Patrick's Day once again and kick his ass. Why give him headgear? I was just going to say no headgear. Well, you can't kill him. No, I think he just gets put on this parade that goes through Southie. Beat him to a pulp. And then just, you can throw whatever the fuck you wanted him. Wait, I can't. Oh, you're posting on the... Can I have a chance to see? Yeah. Oh, that's just his eye. Is he crying? What is that? It's like makeup paint. He needs to get shot. He's an artsy weirdo. He's a dude. He's an art fag. He's a fucking idiot. He's probably friends with the chick that drinks the colored milk and throws up on canvas. I am. That's art, Preston. I know. He was such a psychiatric facility for an evaluation. I just want to let you know, Ryan Talmo actually listened to my set earlier today because that's what I was talking about. So thank you, Talmo, for listening to my set. I actually do listen to people's sets. I mean, I do zone out. You're such a good friend. I do. I don't tell you guys what you guys should or should not do. I do, but I do listen. I do support. You don't give us notes, but you actually listen. You guys don't need my notes. I only give notes to the young kids who have been doing it for a week and tell them to quit. But really, what is going to... They arrested this guy, right? Yeah, yeah. First, he got a psychiatric evaluation. No, he didn't need that. That could have incited a riot. Okay, he was stopped late Tuesday after passersby told an officer they saw him yelling, walking barefoot down the middle of the street, veiled in black in pouring rain. His face was painted yellow and blue in the trailer traditional colors of the marathon. This was before or after? This was before the marathon. This was a week before. It was the year anniversary. Right, but they found him doing all this weird shit before he put the backpack down? Yeah, they saw him doing all this and then the street was open to pedestrians at the time and the police said his presence was not a security breach. Then the backpack was destroyed. The police determined that the contents were not explosive, but they still... Detonated, yeah. They still blew it up anyways. The rice cooker. Yeah. But she probably couldn't afford because he's an art student. He stole it from the art school. He told an officer, I knew what I was doing. It was conceived in my head. It's symbolism. It's symbolism. The performance got the best of me. Symbolism of what? Terrifying people? The best of me. Of reminding people that loads of people died and were seriously maimed in their entire lives. How old is this guy? Is this a kid? A second suspicious backpack was also found on Tuesday. Officers determined it had been left behind by a media outlet and was not dangerous, but it too was destroyed. Yeah. By the way, good job media outlet. Come the fuck on. But that's the thing is that my friend, the one that I went to high school with, she said that there were two explosions. One sounded more like a firecracker and that one was like a building rattling explosion. So who knows? There's probably some cover up in there too. But if anybody gets a chance to look him up on YouTube, he is a fucking weirdo. Well, I mean, if it was a controlled explosion, it's probably pretty big. Yeah. They usually are, no matter what they are. It could just be like a bag of baseballs and they just blow it up. Don't say, don't, you can't like, I don't understand what he was, if he was trying to like do like a, a remembrance of what happened. No, that's not what he was trying to do. I know, but if he's trying to justify it that way, then make a fucking painting of it or build a statue, but. Or do what the city of Boston did and in Copley Square have runner's shoes. And fucking messages written to people. Right. And have that there forever and then put it in a museum. Exactly. Like, do a thing. Don't fucking put a backpack on the street and be like, remembrance. Fuck you. No, it wasn't. He was trying to be a cunt. No, he was a fucking idiot. Ready? He's trying to be an artist. Is this one of his videos? Yeah. Oh my God, it's so bad. Oh, I hope it's, can we hear it? No. Can we patch it in? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Can you see this? Where's the phone? A mental patient. A jailbird. A college dropout. A college dropout. And a drag queen. This is an avant-garde stir look. Oh my God. That I use to go out and do street style. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. He's such an art bag. That's enough. He's such an art bag. He's such an art bag. That's enough. He's just a fucking idiot. How many hits did he get now on YouTube? I know. He's now a million. That's for sure. His fucking YouTube channel is blowing up right now. He's taking over that one guy that cries for Britney Spears. Hey, Talma, what year is it? It's 2014. Just making sure. The Leave Britney Alone? Yeah, Leave Britney Alone. I'm saying that those people can get a lot of hits for doing something that's really stupid. Yeah, he's going to get fans now too. So, yeah. Well, it's going to be interesting to see what Lady Gaga says about him if he's sending shit into her. Yeah, well, I think Lady Gaga wants no part of it, so I don't know. Well, now that he did that, she had the dude, the chick that throws up on the canvas. Was it when a Lady Gaga shows throwing up on her? During the concert. Okay, you know what? That's fucking disgusting. That's not, that's so gross. Yeah, you know what? Yeah, you're singing a song and some girl is drinking colored milk and throwing up on you on stage and apparently that's... That's art. Art, no. That's beautiful art. I can't like, can I start jacking off in the subway and justify that as... I just clicked a puking sound effect and it didn't... That's good. We're trying though. Moving along. But, I've seen people puke on the stage on the subway. Speaking of people puking on the subway, someone committed suicide on the subway today, apparently. Oh, fuck yeah. It ruined all traffic in Los Angeles. And a person's life. Yeah, yeah. Took one person to go... I got stuck in traffic a little bit longer. Yeah. Well, I mean, he didn't get pushed, he jumped. That is true. But what station? We don't know. He jumped, did he... We don't know. It was on the red line. It was on the red line. I'm guessing it's MacArthur Park. That's the most depressing stations. So, if I wanted to kill myself, I would do MacArthur Park. Somebody jumped to the third rail or what? And how depressing the red line is. But I feel like people do Hollywood a lot. They do Hollywood and Vine or Hollywood and Highland a lot. Yeah, because they want attention. You want tourists. You want a lot of Japanese tourists. You want to get to know Hollywood. You know, want to end your life that way. Yeah, Hollywood and Highland might be the best one. If you want to train that and take forever or the worst one, probably North Hollywood because... North Hollywood state. Just glides in, yeah. It's like, oh, we're going to stop. All right. Yeah, and then they got to do the turnaround thing. That would... See, that would... The impact of the train hitting you wouldn't kill you, but it would just slowly run over you and crush your body. So it's more just kind of like you're asking for it. They have the third rail here too though, right? Yeah. Yeah. You don't need the train to hit you if there's a third rail. True. As long as you hit it. But it's just North Hollywood. It electrocutes you. Yeah. Yeah, you're just automatically dead. Usually what you want to do is you want to shave your head and put a wet towel on top and then jump on. And then you don't catch on fire like in Green Mile. Exactly. That's what you want to plan. You want to plan it out. And so if you see people that are bald with a wet towel on their head, you know there's something up on MacArthur Park Station. Oh my God. So speaking of suicide attempts and insane suicide attempts, we're going to go into the guy who cut off his dick and jumped from a second story with a balcony. That's called eight-year-olds doing this. He cut his junk off first and then jumped out of a window. And he survived. A second story. Yep. Wow, that guy sucks at killing himself. Most people do. He survived. He survived, but they are not able to reattach his penis. His Johnson. His name happens to be Johnson as well. Oh my God. Andre Johnson. What drug was he on? I just read that he was on PCP. He was on PCP. Well, then he probably didn't cut his dick off. He just ripped it off. He was jerking off and he was so strong from the PCP that he ripped it off. I've seen like lots of people get naked and do crazy stuff on PCP. It's never really done that to me. Really. It just, I haven't had that experience. I haven't felt the need to get naked or jump out a window. I've never jumped out of a window. It was, it was fun. It was fun when I did it. I definitely have seen people do all sorts of crazy things, get naked, run out in the middle of the street, climb a tree, think they're an owl, just like do stupid. Do you think he was probably watching like, like a movie that inspired him to chop off his dick or maybe like a documentary while he's on PCP? Yeah, the dick chopping off documentary. I don't know. I mean, it's like, you know, a Bobbitt documentary he's watching. Bobbitt. Yeah. Chop his dick off. Run out the window. A second story window, which doesn't. I know somebody else who was like trying to commit suicide. He was on mushrooms and he thought, he was like, the cops are coming for him. So he jumped head first from like the second story and he totally survived. He was just in the hospital for a really long time and kind of hasn't been the same. Yeah. And now he has a lisp. Now he has a lisp. A little bit of a speech impediment now. It's better than having no dick. Well, talk to Bobbitt. Bobbitt does have a dick still, right? No, they reattached it and he made a porno. Oh yeah, he made a porno. Look that up on Pornhub. It's probably there somewhere. They found it in like a cornfield or something. Best wife ever. Oh God. The reign of Bobbitt. Yeah. She's a hottie. She's a good one. Yeah. I mean, he was beating her up, but Jesus Christ. Oh God. Chop it in your sleep too. That's amazing. I mean, I've. Call the cops and put them in the slammer. Like how do you wake up and my dick is, it's gone. It's not there. I mean, I'm, I don't know. I mean, like I said, I've smoked PCP before and nothing has ever made me want to do anything crazy like take off my clothes or do anything insane like that. Well, take off your clothes. I do that when I'm just like three beers in sometimes. I know. I just take my shirt off. I'm just a little hot. Drugs affect people in different ways. I'm a little sweaty. Sometimes you have fun, sometimes you want to cut your dick off. That's, it depends. I think that might be fun though. What, taking your shirt off or chopping your dick off? Trying to cut your dick off. Guys, I know what mean precedent is and I don't know. Oh. And now they're giving a lot of like, you know, giving them a lot of like correlation to Wu-Tang because I guess he's loosely affiliated or whatever. So he's not even, ah, TMZ. He's on their label. The thing is, is that the RZA does like a lot of production and he also puts a lot of people on. So like he has a lot of side projects and affiliates. So it's not really like they're not under his label by any means. Like 10 years ago, these some West Coast kids that he tried to put on and he didn't. So him and RZA work together on like one song. Like a decade ago. Yeah. The North Star crew is the group that he's actually from and his name is Christ Bearer, which, you know, I don't, I don't know, maybe, I don't see the correlation to wanting to cut his dick off. So just to describe this person, it's kind of like, like a child star in a Steven Spielberg produced movie from like the 80s that no one really knows about this child star, but TMZ made it sound like that. Like that, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Like TMZ just made this guy look bigger than he really is. Like it was everyone, I've like, I've people, oh, do you hear the dude from Wu-Tang cut his dick off? Like it's. Cause that makes it a story cause people know who Wu-Tang is. Yeah. So they just embellish something that this guy is pretty much just a drug addict and kind of like a nobody, but the media put him a little higher up because of his affiliation. Well, what it is is that there's like a lot of, a lot of kids that come from troubled areas and everything that, you know, people when they're well off, especially in the music industry, they want to put people on and help them out. Take care of them. Take them under their wing and give them a chance. And so I think there was, what was, it was Bobby Digital presents North Star, which was, Bobby Digital was definitely more than 10 years ago when RZA was doing Bobby Digital. So that's, you know, he put, he did a. Way down the road. Way, yeah. And so like he hasn't worked or seen them in years. Oh shit. So he's been out of the game for a while anyway. So. Yeah. It was, during the Bush era. Yes. That's when this, like he was around working was during the Bush era. The first one. The best part is that his name's Johnson. You made a guy cut his dick off while on PCP. Now he has no Johnson. Yeah. Cause he jumped, first of all, he jumped out of a second story window. Did you read the article that explained what he did with it? By the way, can we say who this is? Tell me. Oh, I'm Mindy. I have running sounds. Mindy, she's running sounds. But I read the article where it explains that he started with the tip and then, went to the balls. Wait. Oh, so he split it in half down the middle. So he was actually cut, whoa. Or that he cut the tip first and then, Like he cut it into pieces. Was like, oh, okay, now I'll add the rest of it. Oh my God. Like he cut it into pieces which is why they couldn't reattach it. A male's penis has like a lot of nerves, like a lot of nerves down there. Like a lot of pain can be felt. Talmo the scientist right now. From the tip down to the balls. Dr. Talmo. And so, if you cut the tip, that's a lot of pain. Like Preston knows that's a lot of pain. It's a lot of pain there. It's already a lot of pain. Oh, Talmo, we've all free balled it and decided, yeah, zippers hurt. Zippers hurt or, you know, the tip rubbing against the denim sometimes gets a little annoying. That's why I like button flies. Yeah. But she gets annoyed because she can't get to my dick fast enough. Boom. Nailed it. My girlfriend is such a slut for my dick. Not a bad thing. Not a bad thing. You should be proud. He would only have sex with me once a day. That's just, wow. After, after, after our delicious meal. Let's go to that now. Let's, let's, let's do that. Talmo's foodics. Talmo's foodics. Have you guys shat today after that? I took four shits in 20 minutes. Yes. I will readily admit that. We almost couldn't go to the mic. By the way, no, literally we almost couldn't leave Preston's house because I came out of the bathroom and he looked at me and I was like, we gotta wait a minute because this is gonna happen again. No. It was, it was bad. It was, so, so guys. I don't have any more matches left in my house. Yeah, there's no more matches left. She used a whole book of matches. All matches were used up. It was, I'm a lady. I'm a lady. All thanks to? The Taco Bell breakfast that was rolled out like what, two weeks ago? Like it just like, it was just officially rolled out. Taco Bell wants to compete against McDonald's and Burger King. And Del Taco. And Del Taco with a fast food breakfast and, which, can I, I just want to interject very, very quickly. Can I get this puking sound effect to work please? These two, Preston and, and Talma. We ordered everything on the menu by the way. They did, which it's a good value. But I just want to say, it was, it was like a kid on Christmas who thought he was getting a new bike and got coal. Oh, so excited. So excited for it. They had such fucking high hopes for this food. Yeah. And everybody, they were just like, this is, I expected better. That's more like my asshole later. Yeah, exactly. That's Talma's asshole talking right now. Yeah. I just want to, if for some reason they were disappointed. I, this is, why is this a thing? Who put this on here? It's terrible. Oh, so long. That's going to be my ass. Seriously, that's, that's liquid shit coming out and it's, my asshole will cough later. Seriously, I put it on my Facebook, but my, my asshole has a cancer inside of it right now. I did, and I liked that status. Yeah, because it's in pain and I went to Wendy's after work. Yeah, okay, but really quick, we'll talk about the fact that you're a giant walking bag of trash. Jesus Christ. After we talk about the fact. Okay, so you guys are reviewing meals for under $5. Yes. And by the way, I'm going to pause, we, we, we, just how fast you shit your pants after eating it. We recorded it. I'm going to put the video up on the Facebook page by, by, so you can watch them actually eat. We fed each other Cinnabon. Oh, so romantic. Let's go through here. I'll say the food, you guys say Cinnabon thing. The Cinnabon bites. Worst thing ever. They're the donut, they're donuts filled with Cinnabon cream. We just keep the puking, puking, puking, puking. I know, oh, it gets so much worse. A donut hole filled with hot, hot, hot whale cream. That does sound like liquid shit though. That doesn't even sound like shit. And that is probably the worst item in the whole thing. Okay, so we got that. By the way, we got a four pack. You can get them in 12 packs. Which is about 2,000 calories. Yeah, 2,000 calories. Tiny little bites of food. For 12. Okay, so we got this. Thank you Taco Bell Breakfast, you're making America the fattest country in the world. We were on, we were well on our way. You watched this a year ago. And the, go ahead, go to the next item. So then the, the breakfast waffle taco. Waffle taco was the one that actually made, makes my asshole hurt the most I think right now. That was bad. It was, it was a waffle, a non-flavored, not like. Folded like a taco. It wasn't flavored like a waffle. It was shaped, it had waffle holes. Yes. It was like. It had the waffle crevasse. Yes. If it was like a McGriddle, it might have actually tasted a little bit better probably. Yes. But it did not. It just had, the, no flavor waffle. No built in syrup. Sausage, egg, and cheese. Which I think the cheese is a mistake. Yeah. I don't like Mexican cheese in my eggs. And then, yeah, we put hot sauce and syrup on it like stoner. Which by the way, see, I did, I did the one responsible thing out of all three of us. I stole about 50 packets of fire sauce for the taco. There are no less than 78 packets of hot sauce sitting on my counter right now. All fire, right? You didn't take any Verde's? No, I took all fire. The salsa Verde, I took a few, I didn't use any. And she looked, I mean like, those are rare. And I'm like, okay. Okay, let's get back to this. Wait a minute, Taco Bell's a sponsor. Oh, can we have Taco Bell sponsor Skid Row? Oh, it was so good. Okay, so we got the waffle taco. The breakfast burrito was shit. The biggest disappointment was the crunch wrap. I thought that was gonna be good. Damn crunch wrap. Because you're an idiot. It was the best, worst item. Like it was just. No, it was, I thought that was the least flavorful. I think the only thing decent was the breakfast burrito. Which was just egg and cheese. That was the saddest one though. It was just so small. Exactly. And the best one. The AM crunch wrap, by the way, is apparently like something like 750 to like 950 calories. It was a, it was. And it's completely full of those. Hash brown, egg, cheese, and you had choice of sausage. Sausage or bacon. Or bacon, which the bacon was pretty much what you guys said. Oh, it was bacon. It was bacon. It was. We also, don't worry, for the listeners, I took apart all of these things and took pictures of their innards. we'll put pictures on the Facebook page. You're welcome. It's gonna look like what I'm gonna shit out probably later tonight. It was just. I can, I can. I can promise you. Yes. Every, every day. Just to let everybody know, every week, me and Talmo are putting our bodies on the line. Yeah. To either give you good values or to show you if you really want to clean your colon out with disgusting diarrhea, go get this horrible type of breakfast. I hope you have diabetes. I hope you have diabetes. Me and Talmo have diabetes. Yeah. This is the thing. It was shit. Okay, and again, I've been eating Del Taco breakfast since I was in high school because I used to get drunk and smoke a lot of pot. Now I only do one of those things Del Taco breakfast solid. This not. However, it was what? $11? And how many things did you get? Preston? We got four items and a coffee and a drink and it was 11 bucks. Yeah. Mine was about roughly nine bucks but I had to get some items on there because we try to try every single item that they had to offer on that menu. which honestly, it was actually really cheap. Nothing was under $3. Right. Over $3. Over $3. I mean, everything was under $3. It was very inexpensive. I'm going to say worth the money. Worth the little amount of money you're spending because it's not good. Yeah. If you're on a budget, if you need to eat breakfast out for under $5, it's an option. Or like I said on the video that we took, you can buy a carton eggs for like $1.79. That's 12 eggs. Right, exactly. It takes about two minutes to scramble an egg. Do that. And good tortillas. So the best items were probably the hash brown because it was just a normal hash brown. It was just a hash brown. Yes. Normally, a bigger hash brown than McDonald's or Jack in the Box. And the coffee. The coffee was actually pretty good. Yes, I have to say, a good coffee. I'll say the fire sauce which is free. Amazing. Get it at your local Ralph's. They have them in bottles now. Oh yeah, they sell it in bottles now. Local Ralph's or if you're in a different part of the country, Albertsons or Safeway. Or like a fucking adult, you can just go to a Taco Bell and just steal it. Steal a bunch. Like an adult. Like a true broke adult. Like a true adult. Like a true 27-year-old. Like a true broke adult. Like a 27-year-old. Like a 27-year-old woman. But if any Facebook listeners, we'll probably toss it out on the Facebook page too. If there's any restaurants or like a taco truck or like a food truck that you want to check out, you know, we'll do it over the week and we'll find a way to get out there, film it, eat it, debate about it. Talmo, me and you are guinea pigs and this could, Talmo, this might morph into like, like contests. Like we have to go to Fat Sal's and eat the $12 giant fucking sandwich. But Joe Morisi's done that. I just want to say, next week, I'm saying it on the phone, I'm saying it on the air so it's decided because Preston really doesn't want to do it. You guys are going to go eat the flatitzas. Flatitzas from, oh, pizza. Okie doke. We're going to the flatitzas. Because you can get two for five bucks. I heard they're terrible. I bet they're the worst and I can't wait to watch you guys eat them. Talmo, we're going to get two of them for five bucks and we're going to eat them like Lady and the Tramp. I don't want to do that. Yeah, we fed each other, by the way, April, with the donut holes from Cinnabon filled with cum. We fed each other that this morning. Yep, there we go. At nine o'clock in the morning. It sounds like shit. It does not sound like shit. April, that's rude. When you see the video, you're going to shed a tear because it was so romantic me and Talmo feeding ourselves disgusting donut holes with cum inside. Stop that. You sniveling ass. Stop your nonsense. By the way, one of my favorite movies. So bad. Oh, man. So, are we going to, we're going to, let's do cunt. Preston's got a solid cunt of the week. Oh, the cunt of the week? Okay. The cunt of the week is, I don't know, is, okay, first of all, let me just say, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. Today, today is, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. I need to, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this song. Well, I'm going to have it made. I'm not going to do it live. Never got to. Fussy. cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. We're going to work on the cunt, cunt, cunt week. Oh, baby, cunt of the week. So, today is April 24th and it is widely regarded as the start of the Armenian genocide where the Turks slaughtered. What year did this take? 1915. 1915. Way beyond our time. 1915. And it was in modern day Turkey and they killed loads. Upwards of 1.5 million Armenians. Horrible thing. Holocaust, first Holocaust, a lot of people don't remember it. LA has a giant Armenian population. I live in LA. And today, gigantic. And today, uh, they had their parade for the, in remembrance of the Armenian genocide to make people aware that this horrible thing happened. Well, the cunt of the week is the Armenian genocide parade. Not, not, okay, it fucked up traffic, which is a small thing that I don't care about. But, you're having, this is supposed to be a remembrance of something horrible that happened. Yeah. That you want to educate people about. Turkey still doesn't say that this is a genocide. They don't recognize, 23 other countries around the world have. Turkey still hasn't done it. Yeah. Recognized it, that they slaughtered these people. They're just being assholes. There's nothing about education in these parades. They don't silently walk down Sunset Boulevard holding flags and like holding signs to say like, remember my ancestors and like showing pictures and shit. What do they do? They drive around in their fucking convertibles blasting house music and spraying Dakar. That scared me right there. That scared the fuck out of me. I thought a car was, I thought an angry Armenian from the parade was about to bust the studio. Glendale. They're already here from Glendale. They spray fucking Dakar in the air and wave their flags around and play shitty music. Some surround sound there. And there's nothing, there, be stoic about it. Jew, black hats don't, you know, jump around and sing Hala Nagila for, in remembrance of the Holocaust. True story about the, because this parade has been going on, especially in little Armenia, going into Los Fios. What is that? Is this from like, gone from 60 seconds? April, April's just going crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She just took some honey weed and she's going crazy. Yeah. Honey pot. It's called honey pot. It's a brand. During the parade a few years ago, you guys, after you dropped me off at work, Vermont becomes like a drag race with them. They fly up Vermont up to Los Fios Boulevard. A couple years ago, one of the, one of these kids with the flags and everything decked out, looks like, looks like a Confederate car from like Starsky. I know. Just with the Armenian flag. And then it just, it was flying up past the stop sign, past, past, um, Franklin. It blew through it. Hits a priest. What? Kills a priest on Franklin in Vermont. What a way to recognize. And it's about three years ago. A horrible atrocity that happened to your ancestors. They fly up. If you ever see them, they get out of the car, they take pictures of each other as they're flying down the road. Like, I, I get it. This horrible thing happened. Not a lot of people know about it. Educate people about it. Educate, yes. You know what's gonna make people pissed off and not care about what happened to you guys is doing this shit. Yeah, exactly. It's not, I mean, for most people, most cultures that actually, uh, move on from this, they move on. They don't actually go back and recognize it like that. Like, the Japanese. I'm sorry, World War II, they don't go back and they don't celebrate it that way. So. Well, here's the thing. It's not a fucking celebration, dude. Yes, it's not a celebration. Like, don't celebrate. Remember. It's a memorial more than anything. It's a memorial. It's not a, it's not, it's not a party. It's not like, hey, 1.5 million died. We saw a goat drink and have fun. Right, exactly. St. Patrick's Day isn't a celebration of fucking the English being assholes to the Irish people for 700 years. But that's the same, I mean, it goes down to Cinco de Mayo. Everyone's forgetting the point of every holiday and whatever celebration it is. Yes. So, it just defeats the whole purpose of everything. I mean, we're doing the same thing on July 4th. So, maybe we could just say in general, stupid parades are cunts of the week. All parades are fucking, I hate every parade now because I can't get anywhere. I hate parades and no offense, but marathons in Hollywood because I can't, I can't get around. I can't get around. Although I have to say the day they had the marathon was the best day to walk around Hollywood. Anything that fucks my day up or my commute, you're a cunt. Yeah. Basically. Just like, just fucking leave LA. Armenian parade for not recognize, for not, for not stoically remembering a horrible thing that happened to your people. You are the cunts of the week. And they actually, they want Obama to make it a national holiday and Obama's like, no, not right now. It's not really our holiday to celebrate. They, they need to put some, to go fucking drive down to Washington DC. Just put, put a million dollars in a lobbyist's hand and then it'll be a fucking national holiday. Perfect as that. That's all I gotta do. So, what was the next subject we were talking about? We're switching all around here. Now we're good. We're good. Segway. I don't know. Did you want to show what I was telling you about right there? Or if you want, I'm still reading about this. Okay. Well, powdered alcohol. Oh yes. Oh yeah. Which I'm pretty sure the Armenians are doing right now to celebrate. Can we, can we bust out a couple rails? Is that like how it works? How do you, do you eat it? Do you, or is it powder like you can put it in water? That's what, like you put it in your mixers pretty much. So you put it in Coke. So it's crystal wine to like orange juice. What's the point of putting, if it's powder, what making it liquid again? Why not just drink liquid? It's, flavorless probably. I remember in high school and college, we used to take country time lemonade powder and put that in vodka. Oh yeah. And it did not taste like vodka at all. We got fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we just, you didn't taste any vodka. That's what this is pretty much. So they must be, it's flavorless so you can put it in Coke and there's nothing. You taste Coke. It's not like having a rum in Coke where you taste a little bit of the rum. Yeah. So you're, you're actually, you can actually put like six spoonfuls in there, which could be like six shots probably. Who's doing this? I don't know. Some probably European company that's making this shit. This sounds incredibly dangerous. I post this on Facebook. I'm like, I don't. Can you blow it is the question. Oh, if I get my hands on it, I'm definitely gonna do some lines about alcohol. And as I don't like the idea of this and I'm the guy that drinks so much. I'm like, I don't know. I won't do Coke, but I'll, but I'll shoot some alcohol up my nose. I mean, we all have done a pixie stick. Come on. It's like the same thing. I've done some Coke before, but yeah. No, powder alcohol is like, it's, it's stupid. It's actually the stupidest thing. I have to say, very dangerous. At PUI, next PUI, Talma, I think you're going to have to get some hand, your hands on some powder alcohol. Well, we did have an aerosol can of whipped cream. So there was, I had a lot of fun getting, making people get down on their knees to take it. That actually did get me a little fucked up. There were so many pictures of you pretending it was your dick. Yeah. And it was fantastic. It was fantastic. Guys, Michael James Benson had a mouthful of cream. So much time, but I got to get, I got to get into the, the nineties because this is a big deal. Always the nineties. But if you guys want to come with me this, this, this summer at the Greek theater. Yes. Counting crows. Counting crows. And Toad the Wet Sprocket. I'm good. You guys don't want to go? I'm good. Come on. Toad the Wet Sprocket. Okay. Who is this? Is this Toad? Yes, Mindy. Good job. Oh my God. This was their song? This is like their only song that they have. Oh my God. This is them or, okay. If Matchbox 20, if there's going to be a, a two song set by Matchbox 20, cause we know they, they only, they only, they only wrote two songs. They'll stretch. They'll play one of the Matchbox 20 songs and then Rob Thomas will sing Smooth. Yeah. The Santana song. And that'll be it. That'll be their two song set. And then probably Candlebox might come out and perform a song. Or who was the, who was the people that, who did the Butterfly song? The Butterfly song. You're my butterfly sugar baby. Oh, that was in the 2000s. Oh, Crazy Town. That was the crackhead guy. That was, that was after 2000. That was, that was the Orange County's theme song literally with Colin Hanson and Jack Black. Oh, the show. Okay. I was going to be like, ah, the county, fuck you. I lived there. But, with the whole 90s situation because there's so many remakes and sequels and reboots. Oh, so excited about this. Mrs. Doubtfire 2, the sequel, 21 years later after he kind of wins his kids back through putting, you know. So his kids are 40 now. Yeah. His kids are 40. I'm trying to get in the head of a, I'm trying to get in the mindset of a studio head right now. Don't. It's impossible. Just thinking, okay, so remember, remember that, remember that, remember that, remember that great sitcom that Robin Williams had that lasted six episodes last fall. He's pretty hot right now. The lucky ones. How about we make a movie where he plays the same character that he played in a shitty movie 25 years ago. That'll get the kids to come to this movie. How fucking stupid are people that make movies? Very stupid. Jesus Christ. It's actually a movie that you look back at now. You look back and like, that's all legal. That can't happen because if my dad, we've all talked about this. Comics bring up on stage. Oh, he'd be like impersonated. He'd be like impersonated a person. Yeah. My dad really came like, because my parents are divorced and my dad was trying to win. Dressed up as a woman. My mom would actually call the cops and my dad would probably do some jail time. Not more than go to a divorce court saying, hey, you know what? You can only see your kids once a month now. On supervised visits. Right, yeah. Oh yeah, and by the way, continue doing your show. Yeah. Your PBS show. Your PBS show where you're dressed up as a woman. Yeah, because that's all. Hey, where are the white women at? What the fuck? I'm having fun. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, April's having literally the best time ever. It's the best time. Press a button. April's zoning out right now. I'm like, this is just awesome. Idiot. You have no Mrs. Doubtfire quotes in there at all. You gotta have at least one quote. Not even the, hello. Yeah, that's all she has. Or like, it's a drive-by fruity. That's what, a drive-by fruity. How do you get away being dressed up like a woman with that kind of makeup that is obviously fake that's on the, like a studio-like makeup? Uh, in real person. it was just, Rob, Calo, I hate, this wasn't a documentary. I'm sorry to ruin your life right now. I'm just saying, I saw that movie. It was a film. Robin Williams' manager walked into the head of Warner Brothers or whatever and was like, he does voices, write it. Yeah. And that's it. It's like, he can do voices, write a movie around it. Figure it out. Figure it out. I have, I have something that I wanted to tell you guys about. Okay. This one that I was just saying. Oh, okay. Are you talking about Mrs. Doubtfire? There is, uh, there are three lesbian women that, the water's boiling. Woo! There it is. Oh, Mindy, you're a genius. Mindy's the best. Oh, so quick. Thank you. Oh, beautiful. We, in, uh, in Massachusetts, there's, uh, there's three, three lesbian women that did a three, three-way marriage. A three-way marriage. Not three-way. What do they call it? A thruple? A thruple. Is that what they're calling it? They're calling it a thruple. And they're, they're now expecting their first child. From a, uh, sperm donor? No, sperm donor. From, I don't know, they can all, like, scissor each other in a weird way and something happens. Do you know, Telmo? What? Wait a second. What? How are babies made, Telmo? I know how babies are made. I'm just saying. Is the baby back? Is that how we, wait, did they, did they adopt or one of them got turkey basted with cum? Yeah. It's sperm, a sperm donor, so. But wait, is it legal? Frozen pop. Like, that's a lot. It's not legally recognized, the marriage, because it's three people can't be married. polygamy, right? Exactly. A lot of drama in the house. It's just polygamy. It's just instead of fucking a dude and like three chicks, it's three chicks. Yeah, it's just, in general. It's just polygamy. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that marriage isn't gonna last. Yeah. Three ladies? Come on. Huh? Yeah, I'm trying to high five the other guy with a dick. I have to reach over. I mean, God, it's hard enough being in a relationship with one, if you're right, two. O'Connor's gonna lose the board, actually. Yeah. April, next, never gets to run the board again. But I am glad that most of my hacky jokes tonight, April's been playing shit. Yeah, it's great. I'm sorry, I've been doing, I'm doing a good job, guys. She's super uncoordinated. No, you guys are, you know, both of you cats, you know. Okay, so who's Bryan Singer? What? What? What? Oh, he's the, the X-Man director who fucks kids. Okay, we gotta do this quick because we were too high last week to even talk about this. Bryan Singer is a filmmaker that's directed hot movies, actually, The Usual Suspects. X-Men, like one of my favorite movies. at Pupil with the dead Brad Winfrey. X-Men 1 and 2. Most people, by the way, say the late Brad, not the dead and then the person's name. He's dead. He's dead. And then, X-Men, yeah, 1 and 2. The next coming up, X-Men, Superman Returns, which was a shitty film. This doesn't matter, we don't even name all his fucking movies. He fucks kids. Basically, but, it's opened up a, just spilled out, the beans on a bunch of filmmakers, producers, and writers. The guy who was having a party, the guy who was having these parties that was having these young kids over that were getting molested by these Hollywood people. Finger blasted. Bryan Singer included one of them. He started a bunch of businesses in the early 90s, but he's a known sex, like he's a registered sex offender. He's a registered sex offender. Here's the thing, and this is, people, okay, people are freaking out because they're like, oh, because it was, it was young boys. First of all, there's loads of pictures. Bryan Singer, he's, he's openly, he's openly gay, whatever, awesome, don't give a shit, but he likes twinks. He likes young boys. Like, there's loads of pictures of him, and like, there's articles, like he, you know, there's like certain clubs in Hollywood where like they have young kid nights where they're 21 and under. about like 19. Well, but this is the argument. The allegations of the parties of 14 year olds, right? Okay, first of all, here's the thing. 18 and 17, there's no appearance difference. No. You look the fucking same. No. So if you want a fucking 18, you'd fuck a 16-year-old girl or boy, you'd fuck a seven, you'd fuck a six, you know what I mean? Like, there's no physical difference. Once you got through puberty, it's, yeah. It's just the number. And I think the reason, and it is stupid because, you know, like, this happens all the time. Yeah. You know, if, and I do hate to say it, I feel like if this was a girl, it wouldn't be as big of a deal. I feel like if Bryan Singer was fucking a 16-year-old girl and that came out, it'd be like, oh yeah, but then if it was a 16-year-old girl, if it was a super hot 16-year-old girl, they'd be like, well, look at her. It's because it's, and I, it's because it's a fucking gay thing and it's stupid. Well, I think. But I think it's good because it's putting light on the fact that this happens all the time. But he, like, gay, straight, whatever. I just think it's important that it's talked about. I just am saying the kid was 17 at the time. Actually, basically, he was 14. Was he 14? When it first started. Oh, so he was, he's 31 now, isn't he? Yeah. So he's my age when they're thinking, and now he brings it up 17 years later. Because he never made it. Because he never made it. Or it's bullshit. Yeah, Brian Singer probably promised him fucking roles. Which is the thing, again, it could totally be bullshit. But unfortunately, for Brian Singer, you know, he doesn't have a string of, you know, age-appropriate boyfriends. Yeah. I guess, I don't know. All his boyfriends have been, and it's, it's like, he likes, he likes men that are 18 to 20. Yeah, he likes the young boys. And it's, you know, weird, it's, 18 to 20. Yeah. And not, I just, I mean, you know, it's, he's not chasing men his own age. Why isn't early 20s, why are they putting such a, like, hard firm 18 to 20? Because 18's acceptable. Mm, yeah. So they're going as young as they can because these pictures of these boys are very young. Like, these kids look like they're 15. No, no, no, right. I mean, there's Instagram pictures of him with very young boys. Yeah, but at the same time, it's like, well, that's the controversy. If he was, if he was having sex with 18-year-old kids and promising them roles, then it's like, okay, he's an asshole doing this power thing, which happens all the time. But if you're underage, you're underage. It's child molestation. And I want to go to this party with all these Hollywood people. I'm going to say I'm 18. Totally. But the thing is, it's, you should check an ID. Yeah. If you want to fuck a person that looks that young. If there's grass on the field. Check an ID. Fine. Then whatever. But I'm just saying if you don't want to get in trouble. PSA for Hollywood. If you don't want to get in trouble. Hey, man, it's super easy. Check a fucking ID. If you like to fuck a thing that looks like it's 14 and just got its period or just figured out how to jerk off. Yeah. Great. But check a fucking ID. Plugs. Wow. Plug it in. Plug it in. It's time for plugs. Every Tuesday, 33 taps. And tomorrow night, I'll be at Flappers and Monday for Chris Pucho's birthday at UBG. Universal Bar and Grill. We're on the same show. Same show. Every Wednesday at a secret location in Echo Park slash downtown area, I host a show in a backyard with free barbecue, free beer, and loads of cool comics. So hit me up and you can find out where it is. May 8th, Flappers, 10 o'clock, May 16th, Echo's Under Sunset. Really big show. A lot of great comics and we're going to be showing something that we filmed. Preston-Blaine.squarespace.com. Ryan Talmo, Poway Fun Bowl in San Diego. What was that? Poway Fun Bowl. Poway Fun Bowl? Yeah. It's a bowling alley. Not a real place. Not a real show. It's a real sad show. I had my birthday party there when I was 10. Poway Fun Bowl. I got booked there and I'll be at Dave & Buster's somewhere in Orange County. Also sad. Oh, God. You're going to have to do another clean food. May 15th. And then I just found out April 30th, I will be down in Anaheim somewhere doing a show. So I'll figure that out. And we're going to San Diego soon, yeah? Yeah. Actually, all five of those cats will be going down to San Diego. It's very sometime soon. We can do a podcast show? Do a podcast slash comedy show. Oh, that'll be great. Hopefully we can do a club or a bar. We'll let you know when that happens. Thank you. Thank you. Burger's back next week. So we'll be here. So don't be mad. Yeah, sorry. We're just filling in. We're all decent. Holding down the floor. Good night, guys. We love you, Burger. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.