Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Happy Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Apple Meet me at the ice cream truck I'll buy you an ice cream I'll whip out my drumstick That will make your eyes gleam Lick it up quick before it melts on the floor I got it, uno, dos, tres, cuatro Give me some more, okay Meet me at the ice cream truck I'll buy you an ice cream I can tell some my luck You can play on my team Let's do the banana split On the dance floor, got it Uno, dos, tres, cuatro Give me some more, okay I met him at the schoolyard round quarter to three We went out for cheese, burgers, fruits, eggs To cheese, I get my friends My name is Nancy And my name is Dr. Rozzy And before we begin with today's topic, for those of you who listened to our pilot episode, I'm just going to give you a little review of what happened. We went over... What did we do? Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Come on. Pay attention here. Let's pay attention. So we talked about how to be safe, sane, and consensual when indulging in your play activities and whatnot. We also talked about... Well, we touched upon starting that kind of relationship with your partner and the conversation that needs to happen. And we also talked about doing some research, you know, reading some books, going online. There is a wealth of information about S&M and bondage and DS and just everything. Basically, any type of play that you are interested in is available online for you to research. And that's one of the things we were talking about. What was it? Maybe like a month ago when we did our pilot episode that if you want to try it, go find it online because it's there. Yeah. So, I mean, really don't blame it on us. We're just... We're just giving you that little shove toward that pervy self that's already there. And obviously, if you're listening, it's because you're already interested. Or maybe just completely hate us and love us at the same time. Or maybe you are a seasoned player and you heard about our podcast and... By the way, people loved the pilot episode. It got the biggest response we ever had here. Biggest simultaneous users, most callers. And I was getting messages from people that, you know, I need to bring it back. And will there be more episodes? So, people really loved it. So, we're back, you guys. Back by... You're back. I guess popular demand, maybe. Thank you to everybody who listened. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And so, today's topic is negotiations. And you may be wondering, what the fuck does that have to do with wanting to do kinky stuff and sex and whatnot? But I'll present it to you in this way. If you're going to go buy a car, do you just walk on to the... And say, that one in blue, please. Wait, some people do. And I guess the next question would be, are you ultimately unsatisfied? Like that impulse buy. You go into the store, you're like, oh my God, I love that blouse. Let me get it. And you take it home. And you're like, oh, hell no. This does not look good on me. I don't like it. Blah, blah, blah for X reason. And then you can't return it because, sorry, no refunds, no exchanges. All sales are final. And then, and you're disgust of trying to take it off. You tore it a little bit. So... Yeah, you didn't even exchange it. So when you walk into any kind of decision, I mean, you know, with clothes, it's kind of, those are minor decisions, but with big decisions, generally you want to talk about it. You want to have a conversation about it. And sex with kink should not be any less serious than those things. Well, yeah, definitely. When you guys tuned in to our pilot episode, I kept saying over and over, effective communication is key. And it's so key that that's actually what we're talking about today. That you need to be able to negotiate, whether it's your committed partner, your life partner, your husband, your wife, or just your, I don't know, your booty call that you're willing to take it to the next level with them. There needs to be that platform with them, that launching platform for your play. Or your friend too. Or your friend. Yes, you know, friends with benefits. Wait, isn't that a movie? It is. Oh, cliche, right? We're not going to promote that shit. Yeah. Strike that. Nobody's paying us to do that. Reverse it. So there's a lot of different things that you want to discuss when you're negotiating. And I guess I want to preface this with saying that there's a lot of different ways to negotiate play, especially depending on what kind of relationship you're in. Maybe you're already in a committed relationship. Maybe you are just play partners. And the level of seriousness and the level of just having a relationship with someone, like how many questions you're going to be asking each other, is going to be different depending on what you're engaging in. So I guess one of the primary things that if you're just barely starting out that you want to define is the roles. Who's what? There's a lot of labels out there. There's top, there's bottom. There's dom, there's sub, there's slave, there's master. There's daddy, there's owner, there's pet. I mean, it goes on and on and on. If it exists in the dictionary, it exists. It's a very common kinky play. And this is primarily defined as the way that partners address each other. And in a way, it also kind of, it'll kind of make, it'll clarify. Your pussy is howling. Aw. Oh, pussy cute. Oh, baby. Sorry. I have a weakness for pussies. We know that. We do know that. But continue, continue. So in a lot of ways, it'll clarify what that person's role is. So it's very important that when you're having that conversation, what does it mean to you to be a slave? What does it mean to you to be a sub? Because that will kind of just lay down the framework for your conversation. So then I have a question here, kind of just playing devil's advocate. What if I'm completely new to this? And I'm like, I don't even know what I would be. But I'm interested in this. Can I still verbalize that? Be like, hey, you know what? I think I want to be a bottom. Sure. And it goes into the arrangement of the roles and stuff. And then also if you are into switch play, too, right? Because that doesn't mean you have to stay in one role. Oh, yes. Very good point. Very good point. So just because you identify as a bottom or a sub does not mean that you can't switch that role. That's not something that is written in concrete. You know, it just, but again, you know, something like that requires pretty effective communication with the person that you're participating in that play with. Have you ever heard of a relationship working where there's two people that kind of fall to the same side, like two sides? Two subs or two doms? Does that ever happen? You know, I've heard of, I haven't heard of relationships where it's two subs or two bottoms where it's super, super effective because they have these very similar needs and not, I mean, it's kind of tricky to meet each other's needs in that realm. I do know couples that are very successful couples and they're both tops or both dominant or, you know, what have you. And they have, they each have their own subs. They each have their own subs. So pretty much they get along with each other, but they also have open relationships to meet those needs that are... Yeah, I think that's what you find a lot is that, you know, you can be in a romantic relationship and a vanilla relationship per se, and you can still have, you can have someone on the side with whom you engage in these activities with. And I mean, I guess that, it kind of takes us then to polyamory, but I guess it also, you know, depends on, well, are you going to be sexual with that person? Or what is that person going to be doing for you? Say for instance, me and Dr. Rozzy are in a relationship and she wants nothing to do with any of the kinky stuff. But we have this conversation where we say, hey, you know what? She recognizes that I have these needs. She can't meet them. It's not a reflection of her and I and how we get along, but she understands that it's something that I need. So with effective communication, we can get it elsewhere and it won't have some kind of effect on our relationship. I don't know if that answers your question. And it kind of comes in where the consent of both partners is there. Like there's the mutual understanding of, hey, you know, I understand that I can't give you what you need. I can't meet those needs. So I'll let you go play with someone else, but your intimacy, like the romanticism, everything else stays with me. The play goes with someone else. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Maybe Dr. Rozzy doesn't feel like being a sadistic bitch and, well, I'm just blocking up my badge because she's, well, because she's way too professional for that. She's too buttoned up. It's not going to happen. But, you know, far be it from her to, you know, prevent me from getting that elsewhere. But now that, as Dr. Rozzy was speaking, I guess a relationship between two subs might, I guess that might work if like they had someone coming in and participating with them together, like doming the both of them. I have heard, actually, now that I think about it, I have heard of some married couples that do that. They'll bring in a third person to go ahead and crack that whip, per se. And then the negotiation comes in there, like, okay, we're going to talk about, okay, what is it that we need? What are the submissive needs that we need met? Who's the person that we're going to bring in? Trusting this person and negotiating all this with them. Like, so explaining the safe words and explaining everything to that person that's going to be coming in to meet our needs. Right. And so then that'll, I mean, it's the needs and the expectations of both parties or all parties involved, I guess, in this case. Because there may be some things that, you know, I like that you don't like, or maybe... Like from our pilot episode, you can do certain stuff that I definitely can't because our hard limits are completely different. So if we were in a relationship together and you being submissive and me being a bottom, if, you know, if I can choose that word, definitely we would have to come in somebody who can top us or dominate us. Whatever the word that we want to choose. But Ok her hard limits are completely different than mine. Right, right. Don't stick it up my butt. And since... It's not coming up there. Exit only. And we know the pencil incident. So I don't know if you know the pencil incident, but there's a pencil incident. There is a pencil incident. We have a guest in here and he's just looking at us. I hope he's not judging us because if you're judging me... Only Judy can judge us Ok? If you're judging me, guess what? I judged you way before you judged me. Damn! Ok. Totally kidding, totally kidding. Let's not get crazy over here. Oh my goodness. On behalf of her, excuse us. Oh goodness. Anyways, sorry, tangent. So you and I, I guess, you know, well, for the sake of this conversation, we'll just use Dr. Rossi and I as a relationship. So, you know, part of that conversation would then be, you know, what are your likes and your dislikes? What do you expect? And how are we gonna fulfill each other's needs? And in order to determine all those things, there's this kind of huge conversation that has to happen. This conversation doesn't have to happen every single fucking time that we're gonna do something, but it should happen. And there should be check-ins with this kind of thing because it may change. It's kind of like your business conference. You're going into it, you're setting up basically your goals. Kind of for those of you that have jobs that where they have certain productivity or certain expectations, or if you have a therapist, you set up your goals and you're not gonna come in and say, hey, you know, we're working on doing dah, dah, dah, dah, dah every single time. You're not gonna do that. What you're gonna do is as time goes on, every certain amount of time, I don't know, maybe a couple of weeks, then check in and be like, you know, how has this been working for you? But especially the check-in after the first time the actual play is initiated. That one is key. And then sporadically after that. Absolutely. So the next portion of the conversation, and this actually I think is a part that, you know, I think is a part that I think is a part that I think is a part that I think is a part that I think is a part that I think is a part that probably should, I mean, I think it should happen pretty regularly, checking in about limits. There are boundaries that should never be crossed. There are boundaries that maybe with, you know, a little pushing and a little nudging, your dominant partner, well, I'm speaking from a submissive point of view because I'm so not dumb, but your dominant partner can guide you through that. If there are things that are difficult for you, your partner can help you through it. And I mean, at least for me personally, I think sometimes play, if done correctly and safely, it can be a little therapeutic or cathartic is the right word I think maybe is what I'm looking for. It can be because it's certain underlying need, unconscious needs that you have, wherever they stem from. We're not here to figure out where your things stem from. We're here to provide you with the tools of, hey, you know what? I know that I have these feelings and I don't know where they're coming from. I just know that they're there and I want to be able to get them met. So definitely, that's one of the things that I'm looking for. And I think that's one of the things where it can be a healing process. It can be a healing process if it's done safe. If it's done unsafe, it's like driving while drunk. It ain't gonna happen. It ain't gonna be safe. There's a lot of danger to be happening there. A lot of emotional scarring for the person. No kidding. And I mean, and just as there are these psychological boundaries, there's also physical limits, you know? And I think that's, I don't like being pinched. I really hate it. And pinching is not. So if I was your top and with a little nudging, a little probing, I can maybe move you. Is that like a hard limit for you? That's more of a soft limit. You could probably push me. So, okay. So I probably wouldn't be able to, you know, I don't know, push, stick you with like push pins or anything like that. No, no, no, no. Push pins is different. Or maybe close pins. Is that what you're- There we go. Those things. Where maybe, but maybe I can give you a little pinch here and there. Yeah, maybe- It would be a conversation that we could have a negotiation. Yeah, it would be. And then in that conversation, I would probably explore with you, well, you know, maybe not close pins specifically because the image of a close pin, I have something pretty negative attached to that. But maybe we can try some other kind of instrument that has like the same, I guess, function as a close pin. I'm gonna put little paperclips on you. Paperclips. And then, so, I mean, there's things like that, but there's also things like, you know, maybe you have bad knees. Maybe you have bad knees, but you can't spend 20 minutes at a time on your knees. You need a break. And maybe your partner is into pretty high protocol. And high protocol, I can refer to a very formalized way of, I guess, just behaving with your partner. And maybe they want you on your knees next to them while they're sitting on the sofa and they're watching the game. You need a break. That's just a physical thing. There's no negotiating that. You have pain, and it's gonna get uncomfortable, And you're gonna have to do something about it. And it's gonna get uncomfortable. And for some people, it may take them out of that headspace that they're in. So that's something else that you should talk about. There are some of us that are professionals. We have a nine to five job, and we need to suit up every morning to go to work. Okay. She said suit up. For those of you that met, not that met, that watch how I met your mother, she's quoting him. What's his name? Barney Stinson. Barney, there we go. Suit up, yes. So maybe because I have that kind of job, I need to not have marks on my face or on my neck or any part of my body that would be visible while I'm at work. On your boobs that are visible right now. Well, they're visible right now though, because they're just, I don't know. Do I need a reason for them to be visible? Not you, not you. You're a flasher. She's a flasher. Shut your face. But it's the truth though. Anywho. Why are you covering them up now? Well, because now you made me feel really self-conscious about my breasts. No, they're fine. Thank you. Aw, shucks. Oh, shucks. Oh, goodness. Anyways. So yeah, I mean, you know, that's just, I guess kind of the short list of physical limits that you should be aware of. So as we said, with the different types of play and the different types of relationships that you may be in, you might need a different type of conversation, kind of a checklist format, if you will. It could be that you're just engaging in a scene with someone. And the word scene is kind of just like this, I don't know, I guess it's kind of this lingo that's used for something that's pretty temporary. Maybe, you know, it's just a one night thing versus every third weekend, this is what we're gonna engage in. So you may need to define what types of play are not okay with you. I'm gonna say- So for me, like no, like card limit, no anal play. That's it, we're never gonna do it up the butt. Yeah, never gonna happen. Never gonna happen. Okay, so yeah, so that's- There's no pushing, there's no budging. Exactly. No. So that's the type of then, you know, that's the kind of conversation you'd be having. For you, it would be no ass play. For me, it would be no blood play and also no scat. And it would be- Oh yeah, definitely no scat of any type. No scat, no golden showers. Scat, for those of you that don't know is, and I think we said that in the pilot episode, it's feces. Feces play, feces in your mouth, feces on your chest, feces everywhere. Stop it. People don't know what it is. And they're probably like, what's scat play? I do not wanna imagine poop on my breasts. I just really don't. And you saying that really takes me there. But some people do. I bet you somebody out there, maybe none of our listeners personally yet, but there's people like, if you go on certain websites, I saw a guy from Australia pooping into a pitcher. His own pitcher and then drinking it straight out of the pitcher. Taking a shot of poop. You know what? And if that's you, listener, I am not judging you. I'm not, I'm really, really not. I'm just saying that for myself, that's not gonna happen. That's just not gonna happen. That crosses my boundaries. And don't pee on me either. No golden showers. Yeah, so see, this is the type of conversation that then would happen is, that kind of play would not happen between me and Dr. Rozzi. So- So we're gonna take a short break and we are actually gonna listen to The Sex That I Need by Avenue D. I'm buzzed. I have a headache. Oh. The Latin explosion ain't new to me. I've been into foreskin since puberty. I want an uncolored Tino with a libido the size of Reno, Nevada to bring me to my blattest blattest, a dick fatter. Then a beer can, lay down stander in the back of his van. He sports Tommy Adidas, blue boot, Timberland, pinky ring on his hand. His wish is my command. I'll suck his dick on the can or on the Puerto Rican fan. That's my man within his clean fate. And when he gets paid, I get paid. And when I get laid, I'm glad he stayed. Cause there's nothing I lack more than foreskin. I drop my chips so I can fit it all in. And then he eats my ass like he eats rice and beans until the blood's clean. You know what I mean? Yes, I do. Just the other day, I got a blow job from a ho job with no job. Seen him in the bar batting his eyelashes. Show me where your cash is. I'll show you my stashes. His ass is on my bed. Headboard hit his head till his head turned red. In and out was the motion. KY was the lotion. That's the way it goes, girl, when you fucking see your toes curl. I rocked his world with mad cinema. Hot like Panama, shot like an enema. I'm sending your ass back to the store to get some rubbers so I can change the covers. This is the kind of man that I want. This is the kind of sex that I want. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of man that I want. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of man that I want. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of man that I want. This is the kind of sex that I need. But it won't be long before he takes off my thong. But it wasn't a thong until you put it on. Shut the fuck up. I'm the one getting laid here. He's back from the bodega with a case of beer and a bag of weed. So I'm on my knees, pulling out the Cs. He wants to squeeze my 34 Bs until I can't breathe. Someone packs a poppers and a bottle of lube. Before he bangs me to the back with that rough rider attitude. The routine, we back on the rug till the sheets stay clean. Damn, my man is innocent. He got me horny like the ex-president. Just thinking of my man's big dick in my face. And then he comes in my face and then runs out of the place. I don't care, he'll be back cause he loves his sass. And when he's done, his friends will be over fast. You got a problem with me? You should get your ass off of Avenue D. See, you like the type of guy that works at the pizza place. Sweat on his face, mustache above his lips. Open shirt, gold jean and a crucifix. I like the type of guy that's the Eastville style. Chill for a while if he's versatile. But the bottom direction. Give me his ass and give me affection. Did I happen to mention? No, I don't think you did. Well, I like to keep my man in the 718. Cause I'm in 212 and got things to do. Take what? Like whatever. Wanna leave this with no shame behind me. But all I see is his name on my caller ID. Which reminds me of the time we took three ecstasy. You know, one thing leads to another. I see him on the weekends. What about the weekdays? That's when I'm busy messing with his brother. This is the kind of man that I want. This is the kind of sex that I want. This is the kind of sex that I want. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of man that I want. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of sex that I need. This is the kind of man that I want This is the kind of sex that I need This is the kind of man that I want This is the kind of sex that I need Well you've tried it just for once, found it alright for kicks And now you've found out that it's a habit that sticks And you're an orgasm addict, you're an orgasm addict Sneaking in the back door with dirty magazines So your mother wants to know what all the stains on your jeans And you're an orgasm addict, you're an orgasm addict You're getting the heat, you're getting herself But you still don't know what's going on You still keep it beating, you mean to pulp And you're an orgasm addict, you're an orgasm addict You're a kick-ass son-over, you're a no-chose-at-pizza Live on a fucking yourself to death Orgasm addict, you're an orgasm addict You're making out with school kids Why no wholesome heads of state? You've even made it with a lady Who puts a little plastic bunnies on her Christmas cakes Butches, assistants and bell hubs You've had them all here and there Children of God and the joy strings International women with nobody hair Ooh, so well you're asking in an alley and your voice is steady The sex mechanics are off, you're more than ready You're an orgasm addict, you're an orgasm addict You're an orgasm addict Johnny one fucky always and always He's got the energy he will amaze He's an orgasm addict, he's an orgasm addict He's always at it, he's always at it And he's an orgasm addict, he's an orgasm addict That looks good. That looks good. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. This is Kitty. Hello, Kitty. How are you? Good. How are you? Very good, thank you. Kitty, I've heard a lot about you. Good or bad? Good. What is it? I am offended. No, I've heard good stuff and I've listened to your show and you're just so cute. And I remember that I asked Dr. Rozzi if you were a lesbian because I thought you were kind of a lesbian. Of course you were. Because I thought you were kind of cute. Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that. Actually, I had actually asked about you. Kitty, you're cool with that, right? You're cool with that. Kitty, I don't know. The reason I had asked Evie about, I mean, Dr. Rozzi, I'm sorry, about you is because, like, I was just like, is your friend, like, super hot because her voice is, like, super hot? Aw, Kitty. That's so sweet. Didn't I? Yeah, you did, you did. Didn't I tell you? You told me that a friend, but you didn't tell me who it was. Oh, my bad. Yeah, it's me. It's Kitty. It's Boosie. Oh, Kitty. Oh, Boosie Cat. It's me. Well, I'm going to go the other way. What if we ever do make poof with me? Oh, my goodness. Oh. My God, you guys. You're going to turn on our listeners with your lesbo talk. We're not, there's no lesbo talk going on. And Kitty hasn't even said whether or not she's a lesbian. Are you a lesbian or are you a bisexual? Put our listener on the spot. She's. Yes, I'd be, like, curious. There's, yeah, there's a lot of people. Yeah. Yes, of course. Absolutely. Nancy will knock the curiosity out of that one. That's why I said be gentle with me if we ever do meet. Oh, Kitty. Me estas retando. Colé. Sounds like a dare. Uh-huh. Oh, thanks. So, did you have a question for us, Kitty? Yes, I did have a question. Okay, say, like, someone's into, like, a certain scene that they're thinking about dabbling in. Like, what's the question? Like, if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question if you were to answer this question funny because I guess he was in the woods and he was I don't know if he was drunk or high or whatever and there was like a furries convention or there was like a furries group kind of like waiting to get it on and he tried to like hook up with one of them but they're like what the heck because he wasn't dressed up so he went up to a real bear and like tried to like do it with the bear and he got all fucked up that was funny okay but say someone is into like into that like furries or something you know what's the now with I know like the internet age but it's so so much out there like how are people hooking up with other people that might be into the same thing I guess would be my main question or like what would that would be the safest route because there's a lot of yeah there is there is definitely a lot of weird people on the internet um I mean kinky or not there's just some really not safe people out there but there are there are um social networking sites that are that are that cater to the the kink community um um! Hey real quick what what is a furry I think uh oh yeah I don't understand what do you want to explain no no please uh furries are people who will like full-on dress up in like animal costumes do they are they right yeah like it can be like you dress up like as a rabbit as a bear and you have sex while you're in these costumes okay see and then there's like they're tailored because they have the like full-on furry community like they actually have little flaps where they have sex through so they never take off the costumes and they just have sex through these flaps so it could be full-on right am I missing anything I don't know I mean to be honest with you I'm not really familiar with the whole furry the whole furry thing I really I'm not okay well that's from the extent of my knowledge that's what it is full-on costumes little flaps where you see I thought it was like men with a lot of back hair I thought that's what furries were what I thought it was men with a lot of back hair no I would be more what bear or something like that I don't know I really don't know I don't know about hair playing you should write that one down and look it up men my kink is hairy men men were called bears or something that's what I thought but I know that's more in the that's specifically the gay community yeah but I wonder if it does transcend into kink and just oh my god he's a bear and that turns into a furry yeah I'm stumped on that one maybe the hairy guy doesn't have to wear a freaking costume they won't even know he's not in costume wow if it's that extreme he won't even need a flap wow if it's that extreme I don't know if it digs for stuff well manscaping never hurt anybody yeah that's true manscaping doesn't hurt it well it does actually well it might hurt for a second but then it feels really good uh yeah so I don't know we have a couple websites that we know and they're very trustworthy at like screening people right yeah yeah and so recommend to you and I don't know if we are we allowed to say I don't know websites on the air yeah okay so then in that case I'm going to refer you to fetlife.com it is the and for everybody listening it is the facebook slash myspace um if you're if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if I don't know how else to end that but I mean on Craigslist I'm sorry that's my I'm judging on Craigslist she's a judger I wouldn't I would think most people with anything they'd be like oh let's see if Craigslist but it's so risky I would not recommend Craigslist or anything like that and I think most people what happens is sometimes because they don't know anything and everybody knows about Craigslist and they'll type it in but definitely FetLife is a place where we've both done research there and it actually it's helpful like I've learned plenty of stuff on there and even if you don't participate on the forums there's a lot of forums that you can read about and there's also a lot of there's a lot of groups on there that meet like real time in fact today that's where I was earlier today I was meeting up with a group and so there's a lot of groups that meet here in the LA area and also for people that are not in the LA area I mean these groups are everywhere that's where I saw the Australian guy eating his own poo he was on somebody else's page and I was like what is that and then I by accident being curious I clicked on the picture and there was poo in the picture so yeah FetLife is one place to go there's also Yahoo groups but I mean for Yahoo like you kind of I haven't had that great of an experience because you it's really just having to find a needle in a haystack kind of situation because there's a lot of groups that aren't really legit like hit and miss meet up groups and all that stuff I've tried meet up groups but the thing is that since because this scene is kind of underground meet up yeah I haven't had much luck at least whenever I go search I don't find anything ever but a lot of people in this community they're pretty private to say the least so I mean I don't think you'll find anything in meet up but hey you know maybe one day it was FetLife or what was it can you spell it out it's F-E-T-L-I-F-E oh Fet Fetish Fetish okay I got you and it's free to join it's fun to make a it's fun to make a program and you can add all your fetishes to your profile it's quite nice and whenever you get a chance Dr. Roz you should send me a picture of you oh shit oh okay I was about to put some up on blast but I'll text you right now well then okay then sounds good alright I'll talk to you girls later alright take care bye Kitty we should take a picture of you right now flashing your boobies no stop it you're the one that was flirting I'm not flirting whip them out I'm not gonna whip them out I am a dainty woman thank you you are not a dainty woman hello you're a slur hi hi how are you I'm good thank you I love you you know what I've been listening to so I listened the last time that you guys were on and I totally loved it and right now you guys have an awesome topic and I don't know much about you guys I don't know much in terms about like fetishes or kinks and something that I'm not really familiar with but one of the things that I thought maybe I wanted to get a little bit of help with was my husband and I have talked about for a while now having like a threesome and we're just wondering I mean I like how you talked about negotiating I'm just wondering like what type of things do you think would be really important for me to negotiate with you guys I'm the one that's like really reluctant to do it just because I don't know like how you were saying emotionally like I don't know if I could deal with emotionally more so than physically so I'm just wondering you know like that maybe I can get some advice honestly honestly I think don't dismiss your apprehension don't dismiss it because already if you're kind of going into it like well if it pleases him then I'll do it then what's in it for you? are you kind of just giving your consent for him because you know it'll be something he enjoys and you know if you're not going to get anything out of it then why put yourself through that turmoil right you know because bringing a third person in is a big fucking deal especially if your relationship has always been monogamous and it's always been you two that's a huge huge fucking step yeah so is this something that you've been wanting also for a while or just having some like second thoughts can you give us a little bit more background? well yeah it's something that I've wanted to as well to kind of just try it kind of curious my fear is kind of like I'm curious about it and I you know kind of role play it every once in a while but it's just kind of like just to kind of get us off but it's not it's not that I'm that it's like I'm afraid that like once I try it it's like oh shit what did I do you know you're like you will have opened up this can of worms and I won't know how to close it up in terms of like emotionally because our relationship has been monogamous for like forever we've been married for eight years now you know and it's something that's something that I'm very comfortable with so kind of like that fear like what will happen afterwards well you know I think also if you're like you haven't already I think it's really important for you both to research and do some reading on it because and I mean it probably sounds like I'm a broken record or something but there really is so much that you can learn from when you read about threesomes I mean honestly I and I said it at our last podcast we're not an authority on a lot of these things we just really like talking about them and getting other people to start having a discussion about them because let's face it more than likely a whole lot of us are perverts and nobody likes to talk about it just saying so I mean you love talking about it but yeah I love talking about it but there are other people who don't have anybody to have that discussion with and we're simply giving you that platform but anyways you know maybe if you could if there was a way that you guys could maybe hook up with another couple not literally but hook up with another couple who has maybe already gone down that road you know talk about what worked for them what didn't work for them you may have just heard that I mentioned that fetlife.com there's a lot of people that are like that there's a lot of groups there's a lot of people on there there's a wealth of information there's people who are willing to just talk to you you ask them a question you send them a question randomly and you know they'll open up to you like one of the things for a fet life it's you compared it to Facebook and basically like let's say you log on you make your own account and you go and you list as three sons as one of your thing and you can actually post the thing like says you know it could be just the question that you ask and you ask you can post it on the forum and everybody will give you their experience and they'll share it with you and then you can start doing your own little research about okay these were some of the pros and these are some of the cons and then you have to weigh them out and see okay is this worth it like dabbing your feet into and that my relationship is strong enough to survive this or you know what it's great talking about it and it's great the role play and the fantasy but the actual physical of doing it probably not the best idea what I can also recommend to you is to Google but not so much in the general way but that there are a lot of people that blog about their experiences in I guess this alternative lifestyle so sometimes you can come across blogs where people do write about their experiences and what it's like to be in a threesome can I comment as a man on this subject actually oh yes please so what I would do is the night before that you're gonna you're gonna have the threesome have sex with your husband and just fucking rock his world the night before and that way you know when you try it out you'll have the confidence that you know you know your husband really likes being with you and you please him in all the ways that he likes and then I think you'll go into that experience with a little more confidence does that make any sense at all I don't know what I'm talking about no no no don't say that to yourself don't say that to yourself don't say that to yourself Jeremy you know what you could also do is I just thought about this you can also make it kind of a almost kind of a like a ritual kind of thing maybe also before you engage in the actual activity of being sexual with a third person maybe there's some kind of some kind of exchange of words that you can go through with your husband or just something special something that only you two know about and you can start it off like that and then you can end it with something like that so it can be a little bit of a it could be you know it kind of signifies that beginning to the act and then it'll also signify the end where we go back to normal we go back to it just being you and I do you get what I'm saying yeah I like that because something real personal for both of us absolutely because I mean in a sense you you're making the fantasy come to life but you know for at least what it sounds like with both of you is that this is more than anything it's a fantasy right well we we're not going to do anything about it I guess I could give you a little bit more we did yeah we went to a strip joint we did that once I'd never gone my first time it was actually my first experience like just being a bit more physical with another woman and I enjoyed that and that was comfortable so we've kind of kind of pushed it a little bit you know pushed it because we had always just more than it was just like a fantasy it's been a fantasy for a while now so we kind of experienced that and it was good I liked it my fear is like you know I don't know I honestly to this point I'm not quite sure what my biggest fear is it's like what if I like it so much that it's like I will become more often and it's like then that kind of changes our relationship from being you know monogamous to being open but if emotionally I can't handle it like knowing that my husband's with another like I just don't know so it's like well you know and that's why it'll definitely be important to have a discussion afterwards after that initial experience you know you talk about what worked what didn't work how did you feel how did he feel you know all of those things afterwards you check in and that's then maybe that would be when you would have to discuss okay what does this mean for us as a couple and are we going to do this again so my question because I don't know if I understood correctly you guys went to a strip club together and you got a dance or you both got a dance we both got one separately though oh okay so maybe one of the I got oh sorry no I was just going to say I got one first and then he got one too okay because then the next thing would be a suggestion is starting off in baby steps we talked about this in the pilot episode just definitely starting off with baby steps where okay so you guys got them separately then make it a joint thing and you both get a dance and then you both get a dance and you guys can each get a song or however it is and then basically how Nancy said it you started off with one you seal the deal with the other on the way home or whatever it is you talk about it like oh how was it for you actually watching me get a dance oh well this is how I felt and oh you know this is how I felt like I with my partner I've done that like my partner went off and got a dance you know on their own I went I got a dance on my own and then we got a dance together and personally I loved it I was like oh my god this is so cool this is really sexy would I take it further than that no but that's my heart limit where I know I couldn't share because I'm very selfish I'm stingy and I don't share so that could be your your movement into it but it's a baby step where it's something that you'd probably be able to get over and be like okay yep we're never doing that again so I mean if anything that what we want to leave you with is check in with yourself check in with how you're feeling about it and check in with him you can never ever ever check in too often about what you're doing about a delicate subject like this so we hope that we've helped or at least I've gotten you on this kind of like spring pad to think about some stuff definitely like we've never researched anything and I really like all of the suggestions all three of you guys gave it's awesome thank you I appreciate it and maybe I'll check in with you guys a little let you guys know oh please please do let us know please do please call us back and let us know how your even if it's just research how it's gone how your journey is going yes absolutely well thank you guys and thank you for the show and thanks for the advice hope you guys have a good night you too thanks bye bye oh she was so sweet she was very sweet she sounds very sweet and you know all of her all of her I don't want to I hesitate to say fears but I guess all of her apprehensions are completely normal that it's completely normal especially if you've been in such a long relationship I mean you know there's it's not about feeling insecure it's about this is this could change shit for me this could really change me this could really change the foundation she really verbalized that too she said that you know it could go both ways I either can't stand it and I never want to do this again and I'm gonna be really upset or hey I love it mm-hmm who could that be bueno hello hi hi ladies hi how are you good how are you doing good thank you now with who do we with who do we talk to who do we have the pleasure who is this well um Dr. Rozzy knows me I um she sees me on a regular basis oh I knew who you are yeah I take care of some of her beauty needs aw shucks um yeah I'm enjoying the show just as I did um you know a couple weeks ago for the pilot oh thank you for listening and I yeah definitely I was uh looking forward to negotiations and um I'm looking forward to I've been married for quite a few years now um it's been about five years we have a child and you know with busy life and you know our family and everything it can make it pretty tough to to find time to be intimate and still be like a you know young sexy couple so when it comes down to it it seems like only one of us will be in the mood so either he'll get upset because I'm tired or I'll get upset because he's tired how can we negotiate where we can meet in the middle with that because we've tried to you know schedule it you know maybe we can do it you know on this day a week or and try to make it fun but it seems like it doesn't work it feels very unnatural so how can we meet in the middle with that and while doing it in our home after hours because getting away is very tough like after hours when the kitty gets up he's asleep yes oh yeah deep sleep well definitely one deep sleep wow it has to be a deep sleep right yeah you go girl no but I think one of the things definitely and I'm gonna sound like a broken record too but like the effective communication is definitely one of the things and like definitely putting it all on the table like okay hey what's going on what are some of the conflicts that we're having like in regards to this and if you've already had that conversation try to spring it on him like I know and we have two guys in the rooms right now and I know sometimes when even in our own personal relationship work gets in the way school gets in the way like putting on that sexy thing like that remember that one time when we went shopping and we were just shopping for stuff yeah and then that night I was like you know what I'm just gonna surprise my honey and put on my little thing and popped out into the bedroom and it was like whoa just take it off if you're really good at this You know, be very spontaneous, I would say. Be very spontaneous in those moments where both of you are, you know, in a really good mood. If like there's a neighbor or somebody that can like take away, you know, hey, can you just watch my kid really quick? We have to run an errand. And even if it's putting the radio really loud in the shower, whatever it may be, if the baby's asleep, your husband's in the shower, sneaking into the shower with him. It's those subtle surprises. I don't know what you guys think about that. But Jeremy, would you like to chime in? That sounds great. But I'd also like to say that this is, you know, a very common problem with not only with people with families and kids, but, you know, just busy people, you know, that are couples. And so, yeah, I mean, you got to be spontaneous. And that just makes it all that much better, you know, when you're not expecting it. Yes. Yeah. You know, that's great. Absolutely. I mean, I must admit that when we do actually worry. I mean, I'm able to make it happen, you know, with fireworks and lightning and everything. So it's wonderful. So sometimes it's like that little time in between maybe kind of, you know, builds up that anticipation and whatnot. And, you know, it's amazing. But, you know, I know that, you know, having a healthy sex life, you know, it's good for you. I'd like to have it more often. And, you know, it's tough. You know, it's really, really tough. I'd like to be able to initiate it to do it, you know. More often. But I don't really know. Yeah, the spontaneousness is great. But, you know, that's a tough one. It can be tough. One of the other things is doing everything but. Like when your kid's around and maybe he or she is watching TV and doing his or her thing. And it's the subtle play that happens. It's the foreplay. It's completely all about the foreplay. We talked to, whenever we did our pilot episode, we talked about sense play. And it's things like that, like the kissing, the touching, things like that, that build up. That kind of begins to get you and him in the mood where it's like, okay, we need to put the kid down because it's time to go. You know, and there's also very small cues that you can come up with. That, again, it's something between only you and him. You know, maybe when you feel his hand. Running across the lower end of your back. Maybe that can mean I love you. Or maybe when he winks his eye at you. That means I can't wait to do you later. You know, little things like that, you know. I can't wait to do. I mean, it could be that. You know, there's also other. I just thought of this other thing. There's also these toys. These remote control toys. There's actually, I just got one. It's like this really, it's like this little egg and it's pink and it goes inside my JJ and then someone else has the control. It sounds like a key chain thing. It looks perfectly normal. And it works from like, I don't know. I think like, I think the range is like 40 feet. And it kind of, you can increase the vibration or decrease it, whatever you want to do. Something like that. It's pretty fucking subtle. It's pretty subtle. Only you and him would know about it. So, I mean, you know, maybe. Thinking outside of the box and thinking about those things that can also help to build up to when you are able to have sex. And another thing, and a lot of couples do this. And we don't realize the impact of it. But coming, taking away from the kink, just speaking from like a clinical point of view, never fight in the bedroom. Never, ever, ever fight in the bedroom. Because if that's where you always fight. If that's always where there's disagreement. Or if that's always where there's like a negative mood. Most of us, when there's kids. Well, hopefully. Most people, when there's kids in the house, they're only having sex in their bedroom. Unless if the kid's not around. You know? And if there's, if this is a place where there's always fights. Once you get there, the body holds a lot of memories. And you'll be like, that's one of the other things that can kill the mood. So, one of the things. And I know it sounds very like, oh my God. But never go to bed angry. And never fight. Never fight in the bedroom. If you have to go fight outside. Like, I know people who actually, they're friends of my partner. And they will actually fight with walkie-talkies. Yeah, they have little walkie-talkies. And one of them will go to one side of the house. And the other one will go to the other side of the house. And they'll start arguing. And then they'll start laughing. Because it's like, why are we even arguing? But it kills the argument in half. And they actually have pretty good karma. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, I mean, you know. I mean, I don't know. I feel like we're giving you all these tips. But, you know, essentially it does come down to maybe, I don't know, time management. I mean, if you have a lot of things going on, you're right. It can be very hard to get some sex in there. Definitely. But, you know, the time that you do have to wait, use it as foreplay. Use it as foreplay. And that will definitely make your sex a whole lot more enjoyable. Yeah. Well, I appreciate the tip about the toy. That sounds very fun. Oh, yeah. And also kind of like our code words and gestures. I think that we will definitely give those a try. You know what? You know what? When we get this posted online, I'm going to post a link just for you with that toy, that specific toy that I'm talking about. And it'll be just for you. Okay. Awesome. I will definitely be waiting for it then. Thank you so much for calling in. Well, thank you again, ladies, for everything. Thank you. We'll continue to tune in. Sweet. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Have a great night. Okay. Thanks. You too. Bye-bye. Wow. Hey, so we're going to do, this is kicking off a weekly program, right? We're going to shoot for that? We're going to be here every Sunday. Great. Great. If you'll have us. Invading your space. Uh-huh. Of course. Wanting to clean your kitchen. Yeah. You guys. That's how our show started. Let's just put your stuff up on blast. Yes. Yes. How Nancy is really kinky 24-7, even though she's playing kinky 24-7. Well, no. I am kinky. I am kinky. She's trying to clean right now. Well, okay. It's not. It's just. And for her own selfish pleasure. No, no. Listeners. Let me just, let me just say. I really. Okay. When I walked in, I love how organized everything is here with Jeremy. I was very, very pleased. Oh. There's somebody calling. Well, I guess my story will have to wait. Hello. Hello. I wanted to talk to the love bike. Hi. You're on with us. Hi. Hello. How can we help you? How can. What can we do for you? Well, I have a question. And I'm like listening to the radio show, like in monos. I'm trying to turn it off. So I'm like, the volume is like all jacked up. I'm trying to get it to stop because I'm listening. I'm like, oh, wait. I think I know who this is. This is live. I think I know who this is. Oh, really? Yes. Wait. You can call me Honey Badger Henrietta. Because Henrietta don't give a fuck. Honey Badger Henrietta. See, and you know what? I was telling the guy that's in here with us and he's listening. I was telling. Yeah, he's kind of cute. I was. Yeah. Cute enough for me to kick in the face? Yeah. Wow. Please tell everyone. Please tell everyone about your PhDs, please. I have two PhDs. I have one in not giving a fuck. And the second in kicking your ass. You know, you're. Oh, God. You're making her blush. Well, stop it. Am I comedic gold? You are comedic gold. Oh, goodness. I'm so glad you listened. I'm so glad you listened. Yeah, I just got home. And I tuned in. Just a question came to mind. And I just want to say hi. Oh, yes. Well, hello. And what is your question? I hope we can. I hope we can. We can answer it. Well, I've been curious about this for a while now. It's been about a year and six months since it happened. And I've been wondering if there's a way to, you know, get by this problem or if there's a solution to this. And basically, a year ago in January. I ended up developing very strong emotions for a man I barely know. And by barely knew, I'm going to tell you how we first met. When we first met, he was drunk off his ass. And he hits on me and he tries to get me to go into this hotel room. And he doesn't even introduce himself to me. And, you know, my natural response is to go, no, no, no. When he kept pushing it and pushing it, that was just the same answer I kept giving him. Just flat out no. And so he goes off. And then I go, you know, go to my friends and I go, did you see that asshole? What he fucking did? He tries to, you know, get me to fuck him. And I don't even know him. So I went on my way. And then I see him again the second time. And it was after that. I have no idea. I have no idea why it happened. I mean, like I said, I barely knew him. And our first encounter wasn't very pleasant. And this is literally the second time I was in a room with him. And then. After. After that, I just noticed very strong emotions. Hmm. And I didn't know why this happened at all. And it confused the fuck out of me. Now, do you. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. Well, basically, you know, I got over it after a while. And. And I just figured it was a biological reaction. Like, like I smelled his pheromones. I don't know. It was his energy. You know, whatever scientific bullshit you want to put on it. It was something. Something. Something I think my body just liked about him and his genetics and just wanted to make a baby with him because seriously, I was. That was all I could think about for like the next eight, nine months or more was just I want a baby. I want a baby. I want this guy's baby. And it felt it felt. I don't really want to call it love because I didn't really have a reason to love this man. It was just my body. It was just a biological response, you know, for my body. To produce a baby. And sadly, throughout my sexual history, I have never had an orgasm during sex or another person, you know, giving me pleasure, you know, like an orgasm. I mean, I've been intimate, but it never really physically felt good. You know, like you see in pornos and they're like. Yeah. Brushing about like, you know, the movie. What was it? Showgirls. And the woman's having like a seizure in the pool like that. Like, I've never had sex like that. Where it made me want to go like that. Like when I'm having sex, I'm just laying there like. Oh, OK. Oh, you're done. Oh, OK. You want to go get some chocolate? OK. You know, like, oh, it's over. But it's it's never been like the sex. Then the intimacy I've had has never been like, God damn. God damn. You know, kind of thing. So I'm wondering, is there a way to trigger this response so that, you know, sex feels, you know, good all the time for me and I don't have to wait for some random drunken asshole. Well, you know, to trigger that response. I get you. I get you. But I guess I don't know. From my perspective, I think maybe the problem could be the drunken assholes themselves. You know, it could be that, you know, it's the partner. It's it's the person, you know, and it's quality that that should be sticking out for you. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But, you know, it could be that you're not having that bodily reaction because they're not good enough. And it's not because they're not good enough physically, but because they're not good enough of a person for you. Maybe they're just not what you need or what you deserve rather. Well, this man from last year, I never was intimate with because I just like held off on it. OK, wait a minute. Why do I feel this way? Is he really even worth pursuing? And he wasn't at all. I mean, he's a dumbass. He's a broke ass. And I'm really glad I didn't at all. But it's just very frustrating that, you know, it had to be him. It had to be this. That, you know, and I'm with a man currently who's very good to me. He's very sweet and he's not an alcoholic. And I'm hoping, you know, this will develop into something worthwhile for the both of us, not just, you know, sexually. But, you know, absolutely. You know, I think I think it's really hard for anybody to be able to react sexually to someone who's a dick or someone who is just not up to par, who's not who's not of the quality that you deserve. And deep inside, you're able to tell if someone if you're with someone, you know, you could tell you could tell yourself externally, oh, you know, this person is totally worth it. And they're totally everything that I was waiting for. But on the inside, you could be screaming, oh, fuck. Let me get. As fucking far away as I possibly can from this fucker. You know, and that's hard to tell. A lot of times it's really hard to tell, especially when there's other factors that go into it. You know, maybe you want sex. Maybe you're feeling lonely. You want that companionship, whatever, whatever it may be. And it's really easy for us to tell those voices inside of us to quiet down and just wait in the background. What do you think, Dr. Rozzy? Oh, she's out of commission. But yeah. That's I mean, that's the best answer I've got for you. I mean, it, you know, follow your gut, follow your intuition. If someone tells you that someone is just not something's missing, something is definitely missing. You know, you're not broken. You're not broken. If you know that there's nothing wrong with you physically, then why else wouldn't you be able to have that reaction? However, having said that, that scene that you referenced on Showgirls, fucking nobody reacts like that. I'm just going to go ahead and say that. Yeah, I know. Nobody has to. I know. I know. But it's like. Like, you know, just that over exaggeration. Like, oh, yeah, this feels so good. Splash, splash, splash. Seizure. Seizure. Flip flop. You know, kind of thing. Sometimes. Not going to lie. I used to fake that a lot in the past. Really? I totally used to. I've never faked. Aw. I never fake. I'm just totally honest. I just lay there with my arms crossed. Are you done? That's horrible. Because I really want to get to cleaning. I really want to pick up the clean up the mess you made in my kitchen. Kind of thing. Oh, goodness. I'm joking. It's never that serious. I think like once or twice I did that. Well, thank you so much for calling in. You're the best. Thank you for listening. I'll talk to you soon. Yeah. Let me know if you need any help. You know, I need Dr. Henrietta's wisdom and her PhDs. They're here. Thank you very much. Good night. Good night. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. there's a lot of different types of rope out there. Please don't go to Home Depot and just buy the cheapest shit. I do not want that on my skin. There's some really nice stuff at the Pleasure Chest. Real soft, very tender kind of rope. That's the kind of rope you want to start with. Definitely not something that's rough on the skin. And especially because it's tailored to play. If you are into getting rope burns, then go right ahead. Go get some twine from Ikea. It's free outside. You just go to those scissors and you cut and it's free. But if you're into getting tied, but it's safe, then definitely any of the stores, we do recommend the Pleasure Chest just because they have the classes. They have safety classes. The people there are very knowledgeable. Whenever I talk to some of my girls, that are lesbians and things like that and are new to the scene and they're starting to have sex with strap-ons and sex with dildos, I'm like, no. Or even the straight girls that are into, oh, hey, me and my boyfriend want to try a toy, letting them know there's certain toys that carry a lot of bacteria and can cause yeast infections. And yeah, so you need to buy, even if it's a little bit more expensive, buy these. But if you can't buy the expensive stuff, then use condoms. And there's certain lubes that you can't use with certain products because they'll... cause yeast infections again. So it's things like that. Yeah, so I mean, and then also maybe you want to talk about what are you going to wear? Are you going to do some sort of, you know, what is it, like a French maid thing? Or will you be dressed as a pirate and a wench? I mean, you know, depending on what that particular scene or that particular play is going to go with, you want to dress the part. Pretend it's like you're in a play or something. You are acting the part. You might as well fucking dress the part too. I know that for myself, I'm not particularly fond of latex. I'm just not. I'm not fond of that. You want to be in the big old condom walking around? I don't. I really don't. I'm very dainty. I like frilly stuff. But you know, that's me. You could be very different. I mean, it could be very different for you. I like being naked. I can tell by the boobs that are standing in the face. I've had people text me saying, please send me pictures of her boobs. You know what? There are pictures of my boobs on FetLife. If you look for my profile, Novice Nancy, there are pictures of my boobs. Whoa, that was just like out there. Yeah, it was. Her boobies. And her boobies, you can see a little bit of nip too. Well, there's a little bit of nip. It's a picture of my boobies and there's somebody else that's kind of like holding them. Shout out to my blue haired friend. I love you so much. She's holding up my boobs. And that's probably, yeah, that's my favorite picture. But anyways, if you really want to see my boobs, that's where you can go. They want to see them right now though. Well, they ain't going to see them right now. How do you know I haven't taken a picture already? I didn't consent to such act. I know, I didn't take a picture. I respect your boobs. Thank you. So then the next, probably one of the next things that you want to talk about is how long is this going to last? You know, we've talked about people who for them, this is kind of just like a weekend thing. So maybe the third weekend of every month, you're going to engage in this master slave, you know, it's going to start at Friday at 8 p.m. and it'll end Sunday at, you know, 8 p.m., whatever. But, you know, there's this defined beginning and there's a defined end to it. There's, I mean, there's of course relationships that are 24 seven, but that's an entirely different topic in and of itself. It's just too complex to even get into for this. Sorry. So, so yeah, I mean, that's, I don't know what else I could tell you about duration of the scene, but I guess we'll take a break right now, if that's okay. Cool. And then, so right now we are going to listen to Fuck the Pain Away by the Teachers of Peaches. Thank you. Click to Apple Apple Apple Suckin' all my titties like you wanted me Callin' me all the time like Blondie Check out my Chrissy behind his spine all of the time Like sex on the beaches What else is in the teachers of peaches? Huh, what? Suckin' all my titties like you wanted me Callin' me all the time like Blondie Check out my Chrissy behind his spine all of the time What else is in the teachers of peaches? Like sex on the beaches Huh, what? Huh, right? What? Huh? Huh? What? Right? On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On On IUD stay in school because it's the best IUD sis stay in school because it's the best IUD sis stay in school because it's the best IUD sis stay in school because it's the best Socking on my titties like you wanna be Calling me all the time like Blondie Check out my Chris Lee behind, it's fine I love the time, like sex on the beaches What else is in the teachers of peaches, huh? What? Fuck the pain away Oh, what? Right, oh Oh, what? Right, oh What else is in the teachers of peaches, huh? Sex on the peaches What? Right, oh Fuck the pain away About to fade away About to fade away About to fade away About to fade away About to fade away About to fade away About to fade away About to fade away About to fade away Is it all over my face? Is it all over my face? I'm in love dancing. Is it all over my face? I'm in love dancing. Is it all over my face? You caught me in love dancing. Is it all over my face? I'm in love dancing. Passed out in a shady hotel room with the hookah face down in the restroom. The cockroaches and hypnosis is then what's left us building most of it. That hotel was so cheap. I should have brought my own sheets. You wanted it and I wanted to. What's left to do? I paid for the room. I'm greasy, grimy, two-time evil, stiff and animal. And if I want it, I get it. I eat that ass like a cannibal. I don't care if you think I'm dirty. I am dirty. Learn me. I'm masturbated till my K-Y faded. I'm exasperated. It's all over your face. Stop. Tell me, baby, how does it taste? When the lights go off and your head goes down, don't let it drop. Go two ways. Go to town now. It's all over your face. Tell me, baby, how does it taste? When the lights go off and your head goes down, don't let it drop. Go two ways. Is it all over my face? I'm in love dancing. Is it all over my face? I'm in love dancing. Is it all over my face? You caught me in love dancing. Is it all up in my face? I'm in love this day Baby, it's all over your face Looks like you've been eating paste I came too close in your direction DNA on your complexion I don't care if you scream My neighbors are all asleep I shone on the floor when I closed the door But I left open the screen Your exact words will rock me And so I did some bukkake, don't stop me Lock your legs in that position Duct tape on your mouth, so listen He's out, I'm in, and I want it If you didn't, why'd you flaunt it? You got me under your skin, on your skin I could come again It's all over your face Tell me, how does it taste? When the lights go off and your head goes down Don't let it drop, go two ways Go to town now, it's all over your face Tell me, baby, how does it taste? When the lights go off and your head goes down Don't let it drop, go two ways Is it all over my face? I'm in love this day Is it all over my face? I'm in love this day Is it all over my face? You got me in love this day Is it all over my face? I'm in love this day It's bringing out the saints It's all over your face It's bringing out the saints Tell me, how does it taste? It's bringing out the saints Let's bring it out the same Don't let it drop, cold two ways, go to townhouse I should have brought my own sheets, own sheets, own sheets That hotel was so cheap, so cheap, so cheap I should have brought my own sheets, own sheets, own sheets That hotel was so cheap, so cheap, so cheap Is it all over my face? It's all over your face I'm in love dancing Is it all over my face? Tell me how does it taste? I'm in love dancing Is it all over my face? It's all over your face Tell me, how does it I'm good Oh, I stayed comfortably like Hello, everybody, welcome back Hello So if you're just joining us, we're talking about negotiation And how to negotiate doing dirty shit And then you're going to be putting up a link, right? On how to negotiate so they can actually see it in your face Yeah, actually, there's a lot, a lot, a lot of checklists out there For people who want to negotiate And I mean, not to say that you need this checklist But it's definitely a really good guide when you're talking about Doing all these different types of play You know, just so that Nothing falls through the cracks Especially if you're with someone that you're playing with On a regular basis There is nothing, there's nothing less sexy Than stopping right in the middle When you're doing something dirty and saying Hey, is it okay if I fist you? No, let's talk about that before We're in this whole sexy zone But so And I know, I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt But I know some of you have Will probably have a comeback of You know, we were getting it on And she let me I understand And that was maybe Maybe Like, hey, good for you You were able to fist her But if it's going to be anything more extreme That's why we're having this conversation Right, and you know I mean, it's kind of a Hot topic, consent But I personally, I mean, if you're In the middle of sex Or you're in the middle of something intimate I don't, you know, using that opportunity To try to ask for consent for doing something It's just not kosher, man It's not kosher Try to have a discussion beforehand I'm trying to have a discussion beforehand Let's negotiate Can I take a picture of your boobs? Listeners, Dr. Rozzy has been trying To get a picture of my boobs For the listeners So, listeners, I'm on your side Trying to take some pictures But she ain't letting me She's not I am not consenting I'm not pushing I'm not pushing hard enough No, no And usually your boobs are a soft limit Because you love your boobs I do, I do love my boobs I do But no So So So So! So So So! Let's get through this first and then we'll talk about that. So you always want to be upfront about your health concerns. And, you know, don't be afraid to ask the person that you're playing with, hey, are you using these toys on someone else? Do you mind if I take part in cleaning them? You know, don't be afraid to do that. It's your health. It's your penis. It's your vagina. You only get one. Don't risk. It's not worth risking, you know, getting an STD. There are also, in addition to that, there are safety measures that you need to be aware of. You know, maybe, let's say, for instance, you're gagged and there's something going on and you're not okay with it and you can't speak, you can't yell out your safe word. What are you going to do? So in instances like that, maybe it's good to have a safety signal. You know, maybe if I slam my foot two times, that means stop. It doesn't always have to mean, I mean, stop everything. We cannot go on. This is not okay. It could mean, hey, can we just pause for a second and check in really quick? It could be something as, you know, minor as, hey, you know what? This cuff on my right wrist is really killing me. And then we can go back to what we're doing. But, you know, it's really easy to get caught up and have so much fun because it's fun. It's really easy to get all caught up and forget about, you know, these little things that, you know, could go wrong. You know, there's been those, and we did talk about this on our last podcast, that there was, there, there has been those instances when unfortunately, you know, people playing around with bondage get left alone, or maybe they're engaging in self bondage. And unfortunately they, they meet, they meet their maker. And, and, and, you know, that's, you know, not, not to pass judgment on them, but, you know, you gotta be safe. And, you know, doing that kind of stuff by yourself, not having someone check in on you, that's not very safe. And then for example, one of the, one of the, yeah, I guess one of the examples that came to my mind right now is you were just talking about it. Your heart limit is no blood, no blood whatsoever, but there might be people like, like to do knife play and stuff like that. If you don't know what you're doing and you're just like, okay, I'm gonna cut you. Right. And then it, you can definitely lose a lot of blood, a lot of quick, a lot of quick, really quick with you went over one inch when you weren't supposed to. And how seriously. So it's all about being safe. Absolutely. Cannot stress that enough. Take it slow. If you don't know what the fuck you're doing, do your research. Don't do it. Don't do it. You don't get to use just because someone says, Hey, I'm totally okay with like, you know, you know, practicing these, you know, kinky activities. This doesn't mean that they're your guinea pig. It does not mean that you get to go crazy and just do anything and everything that you want to do to them. That doesn't happen. So let's say you've had this huge conversation with all of these things that we've covered, which is quite a lot. And we may have overwhelmed you with information, but it's always better to have more information than to not have, you know, to be lacking information. So you've gone through this fantastic scene and it's been so hot and heavy and you totally went into ecstasy and just, you went into subspace and had a fucking just, you know, orgasmic moment or you went into dom space and you were like, yes, I am on top of the world. And then it's over. You know, we go through aftercare, aftercare. For those of you that didn't listen, those of you who didn't listen to our pilot episode of pilot care, pilot care, now the same thing that happened to you is happening to me. Aftercare. I'm getting tongue tied. Aftercare is something that you want to engage in after you've, you know, finished playing to just kind of bring both people kind of back to reality, just kind of check in and make sure we're all okay. And, you know, we're all safe and just, you know, just to fucking take a moment. So after, after you've done that, it's good to have a discussion, especially if it's your first time doing that particular act or, you know, whatever you want to, you want to talk about what worked well, you know what, that particular type of rope that you use. Oh my God, it felt like silk. It was great. It was, you know, it was, it was kind of stretchy. So there was some give to it. I didn't feel like my circulation was getting cut off. What didn't work? Please, please, dear God, don't ever use, use forks on me ever again, because, you know, taking a fork and dragging it across my skin on my back does not feel that great. We're not doing some Wolverine shit. That's not going to happen. So, you know, little things like that. Um, what should be avoided? Um, and this could be, you know, it doesn't just pertain to toys or, you know, certain spots on your body, but maybe, maybe stay away from my butt. Yeah, well, yeah, exactly for you would be that, but me, you know, what if Dr. Rossi and I are engaging in, in some humiliation and she touches on, um, on a subject that's very sensitive for me, like taking a picture of your boobs, you bitch. Hi, so disrespectful. Um, but you know, she, she might touch on something while we're playing. That's kind of sensitive to me. And, um, while it may not have taken me out of that mind space in the moment, maybe afterwards I can tell her, Hey, you know what? Um, that thing that you did, it really, it reminded me of this other thing that's really negative for me. And you know, it really fucking sucked. So going forward now she knows what to avoid. And basically another way that we could put it is knowing what your triggers are. If, and I'm going to put it out there because I was recently having a conversation of this with somebody because I do trauma work. If you were, if you're into kinky play and you're down with this, but you used to get physically abused, like, down to the T when you were a kid, or maybe you were raped when you were a kid, or maybe, I don't know what, what other traumas do I see at work? Beating, rape, sexual abuse, all of that. Don't get into a situation that's going to bring back all those because then it's going to be misdirected onto the person that you're playing with. So if you don't like getting slapped across the face, if you don't like your face being touched, then verbalize that at the beginning. And then if it happens, in the heat of the moment, then use your safe word. And definitely then you do that. Like that can never happen again. Oh yes. A lot of, a lot of this is really checking in with yourself because the person that you're playing with, they can see what's going on outside. They can see, you know how the welts are building up and if they've drawn blood or whatever, but they can't see what's going on inside. They can't, they can't tell what's going on in your mind and your head and where you are emotionally. And you're responsible for that. You, you yourself are responsible for that. And this doesn't just go for people who are bottoming or who are subs. This also goes for people who are topping, who are doms. They also go through their own emotional shit while they're flogging you. I mean, it, you know, it's not just because, oh, okay, I'm taking this, I'm taking this pain or I'm, you know, putting myself in this subservient role that I'm the only one that's feeling anything. No, it goes both ways. It goes both ways. It does take two to take. Both parties are, have needs that are being met. Absolutely. Like I have a need to be, be dominant and overpower you, right? And you have a need to serve and that's what it is. But my needs are being met in our play. Your needs are being met in the play. So both needs have to be met. What, those needs are different, but they both have to be met. And the moment you're not having fun, that's when you should stop. That's when the safe word comes into play. You gotta, you know, you gotta remember that at the baseline of everything, of all of this, you know, it's, it's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. And, um, and one of the ways to make sure that it stays fun is to have this conversation. And it doesn't always have to be that the person receiving isn't having fun. For example, like if you and me were playing, um, you're going to sub for me. Nancy's going to be my sub. And if you heard our pilot, you know, we're, we're going to do some anal play. I'm not comfortable with any play on myself, but I'm like, you know what? We negotiated and I'm not going to receive it, but I'm going to give it to her. And then halfway there, when I have it strapped on and I'm looking at myself and it's in there and I'm like, oh, hell no, I cannot do this. Then I can stop it myself. It doesn't always have to be that the receiver is the one that has to say their safety word. The pitcher, the dom, what the top, whatever you want to call it also can say the safe word. Yeah. You should definitely, you should have a safe word. so another thing that also should be discussed is what should be embellished? What happened during your scene that you could, not get enough of that you want more and more and more and more. Hit me with the flogger, but not with the paddle. Yeah. Or get more of the flogger, but you know, little 75% flogger, 25% paddle. See, there you go. See that that's, I mean, and you know, after the scene you make that clear, you make it clear, okay, this is, this is my preference. Um, the paddle on my butt, the flogger on my back. Uh huh. Can you please cane me instead of flogging? Me next time. I would like to know what that feels like. Um, you know, next time, can you make it a little bit more difficult for me to get my housework done? I mean, you know, little things like that, but, um, you know, we were, I mean, I feel like we barely just kind of, um, scratched on the surface of what negotiation is. Um, but I hope that we've given you, um, a pretty good overview. And, um, and like we said, you know, once we, um, get the podcast posted, um, we'll definitely put up some links with resources for you to go to. And, um, you can contact us on FetLife as you already put your stuff out there. Yeah. So she's Novice Nancy on FetLife. I'm Dr. Rozzy on FetLife. Uh, Nancy already has a Twitter. Oh yes. You can tweet me. You can tweet me. Which is just Novice Nancy. And Dr. Rozzy will have a Twitter, a Twitter too, where you can tweet her. A tweeter. I'm a tweet. That my eosfaltness came out. You can tweet my twat. Whoa. She doesn't know how to tweet, but I'll be tweeting for her. So, and one of the things that I don't think we touched on and it just came to mind right now is that during the negotiation process, if you have a hard limit and you tell your partner, no, it doesn't mean that you're rejecting your partner. It just means that if you cross that boundary for me, that's going to be a danger to me, my emotional wellbeing, my psychological wellbeing. It doesn't mean that I don't love you. Like for instance, you're my partner, right? And I'll keep using anal play as one. What's another one that I can use? Are you trying to tell me something, Dr. Rozzy? I'm not trying to have you stick it in my butt. No, I'm going to stick it in your butt though. Watch. Okay. We'll just stick to anal play because that's the one we've been talking about. And you know, it doesn't mean that I don't care for you. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be in this relationship with you, in this friendship with you, but it does mean that, that for me is going to be, there's going to be repercussions and it's going to be psychological repercussions on me. So it doesn't mean that I love you any less. It doesn't mean that you're not special to me or anything like that. It just means, you know, it's not for me, but you know, you can touch it. Just don't put anything in there. Yeah. See, in all those discussions, you can toss my salad. As she looks into my eyes. You can toss my salad. Stop playing footsies with me. Oh, I'm just kidding. I did. I did. My bad. My cousin, my cousin taught me how to play footsies this weekend. Interesting. Well then, I think we're, yeah, we're wrapping it up. And thank you to all our listeners that tuned in. And thank you very much to all the people who are listening, because we have a lot of listeners. How do you say listeners in Spanish? I don't know. Oh, wait. We're failing our, our last sound. de todas maneras, gracias. Gracias para todas las personas que están escuchando fuera de los Estados Unidos. Oh, que lindos son. And hopefully, and we'll see, and we won't see you guys next week, but you'll hear us next week. You can see, you can see her boobs on FetLife though. Oh my God. Just stop it. Stop pimping out my boobs, man. Hey, they're hanging out. They're hanging out. Anyways. Also, the show, like all our other shows is going to be available via iTunes. It's not up there yet, but we're going to do it. We can get it up there soon. As soon as we get a couple episodes in the can. But a great show. Thanks a lot guys. Thanks so much. And we will be back next week. Indeed. Oh, well, thank you so much for coming and being part of this wonderful film. You're so gorgeous. Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you all. And thank you to all of you who are watching this. Thank you. We love you all. And this song is for you. I like it when you hold my hand. You are the kind to understands you are the master of romance and you are getting in my pants. But if you want to do it right, you'll have to block out half the night now, you know just what to do. Let's get still your face turns blue. Our love is ever changing. Off to new landscapes Open me like drakes And eat me out Eat me out Make me shout Come on and eat me out Eat me out Eat me out Make me shout Come on and eat me out Oh yeah Apple Apple Just like a dog who wants to beg, use your nose to spread my legs. We are already in the bed, just relax and give me head. Keep your tongue and lips that way till you come down with TMJ. Work the front, work the back, and please do not forget my crack. You unearth my very treasure when you give me oral pleasure. All the joy it will bring us when you're good at cunnilingus. Send me into outer space when I am straddling your face. Steal my heart just like a thief, don't be afraid to use your teeth. For all your dedication, I don't care if you're well hung. Please just use your tongue and eat me out. Come on everybody! Eat me out. Make me shout. Come on and eat me out. Oh, eat me out. This song is gonna be stuck in your head. Eat me out. You're gonna be singing it at work on Monday. Make me shout. Hey Bob, what's that song you're singing? Make me out. Oh yeah. Make my pussy. Make my pussy. But don't take a picture. Make my pussy. Oh. Yeah. And you don't need a reservation. Oh, it's your favorite place to die. Ain't nothing, nothing, nothing in the world that is mine now. Not that tiger. My vagina. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you very much everybody Good night, thank you Good night Good night