Hi! It's been two weeks. Happy New Year! I know, we had a good New Year. We had, wow, yes! We had a really great New Year. Yeah, yeah. Holiday, all of it was, wow. It was some kind of special. Yeah, we pegged a vanilla. Yes, we did. Oh, we pegged the vanilla. Who wants more? Because let's be honest, once you get a bite, you want to eat the whole thing. Yes, you do. That's just what it is. I mean, if you're open enough to have something shoved up your ass, the likelihood is you're open to a little bit more than that. Yeah. A little bit more than that. Yeah. Turns out. Turns out. Turns out. Well, welcome. Yes, welcome. And wait, we're being really vague about our New Year's. Oh, are we? Okay. Okay, so I feel like we should, you know. Share, go. Go with your details. So what we did is, it was just, it was a weekend extravaganza is what that was. So there was a vanilla in town, which vanilla, we will go over what a vanilla is tonight. FYI. We'll make it be in there. I like this one. So there was a vanilla guy in town and just, you know, sweetest guy ever. So sweet. One of my high school best friends. Yes. I hope he's listening. I really do. If not, I'm going to make him download it. I'll listen later. Right. All I have to do is say, you're a topic of discussion and he's such an attention whore who'll be like, I must listen to them talk about wrecking my asshole. So we took him to the local dungeon and, you know, he got a little bit of a taste of it. I got set on fire and that was special. And I looked so, I've never been that, I've never been so scantily clad. You were very fetishy and it was really hot. And, you got a lot of compliments. Well, but I think that's because I don't usually dress that way. I mean, I really don't. I think if you usually dress that way, you would still get equally number of compliments because it was hot. Oh, shucks. I mean, it was really, you were in a corset with, she was in a black corset with her boobs just fucking up to her goddamn neck and so boobish. It was lots of boobs. And I think we know how I feel about boobs. Boobs. And then black ruffle panties, but then, and garters and black stockings and then black heels. And she just, oh, it was so perfect. She was just, and then she's got the purple collar and oh, it was just so nice. It was so pretty. thank you. It was. So then that happened and then, and then on New Year's Day, we gave it to him good. On New Year's Day, we gave it to him good. Yeah. Tied him up, bent over my bed. Yes, we did. Yeah. There was a, yes. And you do get very overzealous. Right? Yeah. Yeah. You were very, you're like, you were like a guy for the first time fucking somebody. He's like, and he's like, you fell out. I'm like, bitch, slow down. It's a little bit hard when you get a strap on. You don't know when you fall out because it's just not biologically attached to you. Yeah. But also you just, you were like a, you were like a dog humping someone's leg. You were so excited. You were like, it was so fucking hilarious. And that's when I was just like, bitch, you get on your side. And that's when I violated them both in my own separate ways. Yeah. They were both bend over my bed. I was doing violating things to both of them. And it was hot because, you know, like she got to watch what I was doing to him and he got to watch what I was doing to her. And so it was really kind of this interesting and, and their energies were very compatible. So it worked out really, really well, which as I had experienced where I've played with two people at the same time where their energies were not compatible and that was not good. So this was nice and I would, I would definitely do it again, although a little bit different and they would both be tied up in their own special ways, maybe to each, to each other and there'd be a little bit of predicament montage going on and then there'd also be a little bit of tag team pegging on my part and I just, yes. I've thought about this. Clearly. Yes. Yes. You have. So that was our New Year's Day. Yeah. Happy fucking New Year. Yes. That was nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. It's definitely a, it's a thing. I like this pegging the boys. Yeah. You know, ensemble. Yes. And then we get to do it again. Today we found out we get to do it to somebody else. Although he's not a vanilla, but we still get to peg another boy who has apparently not been pegged for a very long time. So there has to be training involved and this is, yes. I'm so excited. There's just nothing. There's no greater rush than being a woman and fucking a man's asshole because it, it feeds into so many like, yeah, you know what? Freud was right. There's such a thing as penis. Envy just doesn't go to his level. It's not all psychotic and shit. It's like, I want that power that that they have. I want them to experience what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that. And we're lucky because we can choose the size of our penis because, you know, oh, and we're nice. We have the small ones and then there's the big one. The pussy wrecker, which you have experience with. So, yeah, I mean, it's a, it's a thrill and a half. I could, I could peg all day. If it's Tuesday, it must be pegging day. Or at least in my fantasies. Sure. So tonight, we figured we'd start the new year off with, with the glossary. Yes. Because, you know, for those of you who listen, we toss back a lot of terms, you know, back and forth and, and maybe you're not familiar with, with some of the things that we talk about or, you know, they're just new things to you or, you know, we'll, we'll just, yeah. So we figured we would give you the ABCs. Yeah. So interestingly enough, you know, when you're putting together a BDSM glossary, where do you go? Where do you go to find this information? And I mean, you could take, you know, forever in a day and start cruising FetLife and some of the other sites to, to, to, to get it deeper. But the easy, the fast and quick, the, the whore of the internet world is Wikipedia. Right. So you go to Wikipedia to find what it is. But, but the challenge with the Wikipedia, which we, you will all discover as we go through our particular list that we have, is that, um, whoever wrote this, sometimes they're just fucking morons and they don't have any fucking idea what they're talking about and they need to shut the fuck up. So there's going to be a little bit of that as we go through our, our glossary definitions. And, and just so you know, I mean, there, there, there really are so many places online where, I mean, it, this is not, what we say here is not the end all of all, every, every thing. So, so yeah. Yeah. Although you, you do need to Google those two terms we've been throwing around all day. Which one? Oh, wait. Oh, those. Yes. So that you have the accurate definition. Yes, this is true. This is true. Because we've been talking about it all damn day. Okay. So, uh, you know, we're just going to go to something real simple. People talk about, you know, 24 seven and we're not talking, you know, about non kink world and 24 seven. It's a relationship that's just that. It's a 24 seven lifestyle relationship. You live with the person and they are in service to a dominant all the time. The dominant has them in service to them and therefore whatever contract that may be in place or not, but protocols and expectations are held to that standard for the duration of the 24 seven relationship. And it's a huge undertaking on both parts. Um, there's a lot of work in 24 seven which I have not had and, and quite frankly is very intimidating. Right? Yeah. That would be intimidating for myself as well. I just, there's, I mean, I already, you know, there is a certain sense of putting your dominant before, before yourself. I think 24 seven just takes it to like this level that I certainly am. I'm not there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so that was the first one bullet point. Second bullet point makes me laugh hilariously not because of what it is. The second bullet point is aftercare and aftercare is fabulous. I love aftercare. I'm a huge proponent of it. I think that it is a definite requirement when you're doing, when you're doing a play. Um, let me read to you the definition of aftercare here and then let us discuss what might be wrong with it. Shall we now? It's like Sesame Street. Aftercare. The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events of their personal reactions to them and slowly come back in touch with reality. BDSM often involves an endorphin high and very intense experience and failure to engage in proper aftercare can lead to sub drop as these return to more everyday levels. All right. So there's a lot wrong with that definition. Um, let, let me ask you, Nancy, after you've experienced subspace and we're going through the aftercare process, are you able to discuss the scene you just had? No. You're not able to rationally go through what we might have gone through and what you liked and disliked. Are you in that mind space? No, absolutely not. Right. And it's directly proportional to how intense the scene was. Correct. Because usually after we play, I don't want to talk to anybody. I just don't. But for instance, on New Year's Eve, when we did fire, I kind of, I bounced back pretty quickly. Fire's also very different from certain kinds of impact and humiliation play. Those are different. Right. So, but generally, I don't want to talk. Right. I don't even want to talk to you. Nope. Sometimes you can't. It is a physical impossibility. Right. And that is not to say that well after the scene has happened, that the submissive and the dominant has had a chance to process what happened, that a discussion should not take place. But for me, in my opinion, that doesn't fall under aftercare. That just falls under having a good relationship with the submissive or a dominant, that you discuss what happened and what worked and what didn't work and what both parties would like more of or less of. I mean, that's about making sure that you have a good flowing relationship, in my opinion. Additionally, I would like to point out, another point in this particular definition that was clearly written by a fucking dumb ass. And that is that for some reason, sub drop happens because of a lack of aftercare. That's bullshit. That's such bullshit. I mean, I'm sure there are instances when that is the case, but I do aftercare and sub drop happens. It still happens. Sometimes even when you won't even have a scene, like for example, you and I have intense amounts of time we spend together. When you are separated from me, you experience a certain kind of sub drop. It's not the same, but it's a certain kind of sub drop. There's what could I given you aftercare for that? I mean, it's just- Aftercare for a sleepover. Right, right. You need aftercare after sex. Give me a break. It doesn't matter how it works. It's not how it goes. So that definition I had issue with in a lot of ways. Yeah. I mean, I think that, well, I don't know. I mean, sometimes there are certain things, personally, that sometimes there are things that I want, I want to do it for aftercare, but I can't necessarily, I can't say it, or at least certainly not in the moment. No. Right after we've played, I can't. What am I gonna, I can't say it. I just, I can't. It's not the moment. It's just not right. Something, as it is, it's hard for me to tell you things. Correct. So I'm sure as fuck not gonna tell you then. Right. Well, and that's another reason why I, personally, and this is my style. Other people can have their own styles. I try to have multiple ways that a submissive can communicate with me. There's, I require a daily journal. And that's another way. There's text messaging. There's all sorts of modernized ways that this can happen. And I think that it's important that you feel comfortable in coming to me in anything, but that you use a method that is, that is going to help you to actually relay how you're feeling, honestly. Oh, yes, absolutely. And yeah, there's been times that you have relayed afterwards, something that you wanted that you didn't feel that you had got enough of, or there was something else. Often there's other people or issues that go on within the area. Cause you know, we're not an island. It's not just you and I, there's other people. Oh, the problems with public play. Right, where you felt, well, I felt that they were encroaching on my space or, you know, I needed that and they got it instead. So, you know, but it's about that open communication. So that is a part of aftercare in my opinion. Yes. Age play. Age play. This refers to that daddy, mommy, baby, you know, that kind of thing, in an incestuous uh way well there is sexualized age play i mean there's also um littles and infantilism and all of that where it's it's not necessarily sexualized so it just it depends on how people do it and it's it's up to the people and it's a touch it's a touchy subject yes absolutely very touchy yeah and i mean it you know most of the people that i know that participate in age play you know there's mostly it's daddies and and littles whatever age the little may or may not be and i very rarely know a daddy that doesn't have sexualized play with whoever it is whether it is the the while they're doing age play or just in general so yeah because you know i don't know many doms male doms that don't fuck their subs which is kind of the way they roll ain't that the truth yep the next on our list next on our list is anal torture anal torture you tear it open so whenever i think of anal torture i think of um figging figging which is um the art of applying irritants to the anus and um one of our our twitter friends say nine has taught figging classes and used one of our other twitter friends up in northern california so yes you should definitely look them up if you have any questions or questions about anal torture i'm sure you can find them on our social media um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um described to me, figging, is that you take raw ginger and you kind of insert it or rub it around the asshole. And it's, it's, it's, you know, irritating the asshole and it's the burning sensation, but there's other things that can be done in figging. You know, there's, you know, Ben Kay, there's Frank's Red Hot. You put that shit on everything. There's all sorts of ways you can, you can irritate the asshole. I mean, it's interesting how easy it is to irritate your asshole, not just with the food you eat. But not just in figging and in anal torture, there's, you know, there's the, the, some might consider it torture. Some might consider it not torture that there is the process of getting an asshole ready for a fist, which touches on our, one of our previous topics, which is anal training is that, you know, you train to get up to the fist, but sometimes it's not all that pleasurable. Sometimes, you know, you're stretching because the fist ain't a small thing to take. Nope. Anal, anal torture. I want to pet it now. So while we're going through all these terms and things, if, hey, if you're listening and you, and maybe we're missing a term, we're going in alphabetical order people. So bear with us. But our number is 800-893-9562. And you can, you can call and you can contribute to this. To this list with these crazy definitions. Or, or you can tweet us questions too. Yes. That is also welcome. So you can tweet me at novice Nancy and I mean, you can tweet. I'm at smiteful sinner. So she's novice underscore Nancy. Oh, that's right. Huh? Don't forget that. I forgot. Is important. It is important. Um, the, the next on our alphabetical list is animal play, which a lot of people talk about puppy play and puppy play. And pony play, but it's, it's under the same thing, but there's lots of people that play into, they feel their inner animal. And, and so they're put in a position where they, you know, collars, leashes, or whatever it is, whatever that animal would be. We have a friend of ours who is a pig. She is a piggy. Uh, and you know, you have the little, little butt plug that's got the little tail on it. That's cute. It is so cute. It's adorable. Some people are kitties. Some people are puppies. Some people are horses. Some people are, you know, whatever it is. I heard a woman the other day, she said, I'm a unicorn. What the fuck does that mean? But you know, she's a unicorn. Okay. She didn't have an animal. Yeah. And that's how she identifies. And I'm like, I don't, I'm not an animal. I mean, I am, but I don't necessarily, you know, identify as an animal for play of any way. And if I were, I certainly would be some sort of a bird of prey that would attack its prey and eat it up. That's how I would play. You're so sexy right now. It's stupid how sexy you are right now. I am. Um, and then the sub point of animal play is animal transformation fantasy, which, and it says here, fantasy in which the focus is on the animal. And it says here, fantasy in which the focus is on the animal. The focus is on the sub entering the altered mind space of a different species. So, you know, um, and I think that for you from a submissive standpoint, I think it's about that, um, dehumanization of self. Yes. I've yet to experience that, but guess what? We have a heavy petting zoo coming up. Oh, then that happened. Um, whoa, that really fucked with my, what I was going to say. Um, um, I haven't experienced it yet, but there is, there's a draw. There is, there's something that, that pulls me towards that. I don't know what it is yet because I haven't, haven't gone there. No. And, but I think that it all kind of falls into this, this, you have this obsession with this extreme humiliation. Um, and I think that it's that dehumanizing factor. And I think that the, that what would be most appealing about puppy play specifically, because you do identify yourself as a puppy, you feel that inside of you is that puppies still get love and attention and affection. And yet they lack that humanity, which I think is appealing to you in some ways. It, it, it takes it away from you. And I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think it takes it away from you. And I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, it takes it away from you and you don't have to focus on all of these issues and shit that comes with being human. And you can just be this fun loving lack of, of pressure animal. Did that, do you think that defined it well? Yeah. You know me really, really well. I like that. Is my job. Is your job. Is my job. Oh, oh, oh, the next one. The next one I thought was fantastic because it's a, it's a partner to one further down the list with the vocabulary and the, and the alphabetizing. Bad pain. Let me read this, this definition because wow, clearly this person was like a fucking writer. Goddamn. Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners or practitioners signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element often quite pronounced consensual pain, there is a purpose to it. And some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not really fuckers. Really? Really? Yeah. Cause sometimes shit happens and it just ain't as pleasurable as you might think it is, but you know, it's just, yes, I get that there's bad pain, just stupid. Oh wait, wait, wait. There's a sub point B to this, which really, because without the sub point B, I wouldn't have understood what was said, which is good pain and bad pain referred to pleasant versus unpleasant pain. Yeah, we get it. We get it. A cane across the, the, uh, the spine. Bad, bad kidney punch. Bad, bad. These are not good pains. No. Uh, I don't know. A single tail to the back of the neck. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. The labia cracking it open. Bad. Ow, ow, ow, ow. No. Right. Right. No, no, no, no, no. Yes. And that these things can happen in play. These things can, but this definition was blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It irritated me. Yes. Um, and then of course there is that, that this acronym that's super small, but it's actually kind of huge. The BDSM. What does that mean? It's a monster. So a BDSM refers to a bondage discipline. dominant submission, sadism, masochism. It's supposed to be the Saul encompassing thing. It's actually fairly well reasoned. Whoever put this together was really, really quite smart. Yes, so it's all of that. Yeah. It's a catch-all for everybody in the kink scene. Catch-all. I want to use that word for something. A catch-all. It's a catch-all. Do you want to use that word when we're doing anal fisting? It's a catch-all ass. We could do it with vaginal fisting too. It's a catch-all vagina. A cock-sucking whore. She's a catch-all mouth. See where I'm going? See where I'm going? Using catch-all in kink. That's what's happening now. Oh, dear. Next, we have bondage. Yes. Well, everybody thinks it knows what that is. You're tying shit up. You're tying people up. They're fairly immobilized. And I mean, bondage is such a huge area because under bondage, obviously people talk about shibari, which is the artistic art of bondage. And then there's, you know, there's... Wow, I can't think. There's all sorts of different kinds of bondage. There's ugly bondage. Ugly bondage. Which is pretty much how everybody starts, with ugly bondage. We all, yeah, we all start somewhere. Bottom. Bottom. Not just... Not something you smack. Yeah, not just that which you sit on. Rather, the bottom refers to the person that is the receiver. They are... You are the pitcher. I am the catcher. Yeah. Well, and a bottom is not necessarily a submissive. Very true. Right. A bottom can, in fact... A dominant could be a bottom if they so chose to. If they got pleasure from receiving pain, they could be a bottom. And that's... Yeah, hey, you know, I know that there's some people in the community that'd be like, what? You're just fucking with my mind. That makes you a switch. I mean, I guess, you know, I'm not going to define somebody else. They want to define themselves. Rock it. I don't care. Yeah. Well, no, no. And I think someone who, for instance, is a dominant and bottoms, is then putting their... Then they're putting their submissives in the role of service topping. Yeah, well, it depends on the relationship. It's a weird inception thing. That can really... That has to be handled very, very carefully because the relationship, a DS dynamic, it's just, you know, fucking chaos theory. A butterfly flaps its wings at the dungeon in North Hollywood and in San Diego. Dominant bottoms to their submissive. You know what I'm just saying? Yeah. It fucks with your mind. It fucks with your mind. Yeah. You're good. You're good. Breast bondage. Did you enunciate enough? I can enunciate further should you wish. Ooh, ooh, ooh. So breast bondage. This is what I liked about the breast bondage and it made me really excited and I'm going to talk really fast because I'm really excited about it. So keep up, people. Sorry. The act of tying female breasts so that they are either flattened against the chest or so that they bulge. So here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying. It doesn't have to just be female breasts. What about man boobs? What about moobs? Why can't I do breast torture or breast bondage with moobs? I want to do this. I want a moob man for that reason alone as long as they are perfectly acceptable. With also being humiliated horribly by this breast torture of their moobs. Can they wear a skirt too, please? Please, can they wear a skirt? Yes, they can wear a skirt because the cock will get in the way of me having this moob fantasy and the moobs and I want to play with their moobs and I will do the do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Playing with their boobs right now. With their boobs and make them dance and maybe if they have tassels, we can make these with tassels and see if they can spin them around. Oh my God. This is so exciting. I like this idea. Anybody with moobs out there, you know, hit me up. We'll talk. We'll talk. At Smiteful Center. I'm just saying, I want to give this fantasy to somebody else who might have it. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yes, because there's probably somebody out there that is the opposite end of me. Yes, you are the pitcher. You need a catcher. I need a catcher. That's what I'm saying. So exciting. And of course there's titty torture, which is a sub thing of breast bondage. Yeah. Yeah. So I would assume then if breast bondage was done a certain way, it could totally be torture. And then of course you have kitty titty torture. As I found out, this is not an actual term. No, we're making this up. Kitty titty torture. So last night, you know. I think it was this morning. I think the sun was up. No, it wasn't. Totally wasn't. I don't know. I was like waking up and going back to sleep. So last night I was in Smiteful Center's bed and, you know, just trying to drift off to sleep. And, you know, I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hear a kitty cat trying to claw its way up the bed to get up on top of the bed to, you know, sleep between us because that's what these pussies do. A bed full of pussies. Yeah. And next thing I know, there are claws very much near my nipple area. I laugh now. I felt really bad in the middle of the night when she woke me up with this. I was like, what happened? What happened? And I was having back problems. So like, I'm reacting. I like, I don't even know. And I told, I turned to her and I'm like, I don't know what hurts more, my tit or my back. It was so traumatic. It was so great. It was traumatic. It was great. Oh God. Just saying. I've learned my lesson. I am sleeping with the bra on. I'll take it off. I have given the cat a treat since then. No, you, no. I don't give my cats treats. I'm just saying. They're so great. I loved it so much. All right. So. And then she went right back to sleep. Yeah. I'm such a guy. Yeah. I really am such a guy. I just want to go back to sleep. You're fine. I'm going to roll over and go back to sleep. Yeah. Very sexy. Very sexy. And then the next on this list, which I don't know why they say this breath control. I am used to breath play, but it's called breath control. And this is the greatest definition. I'm struggling with all of the great definitions in here, which is the dominant controls the submissive's breathing. Well, I mean. Well, shit. In the most simplest of terms, I suppose. But, you know, breath play really is. A lot of people think about, you know, auto erotic asphyxiation. That's breath play. It's the, you know, you are restricting of the breathing, you know, temporarily or long-term up until before they pass out. And it's the dominance or the tops responsibility to ensure that the bottom is safe. They don't die a la that Carradine dude. Yeah. Because he did it to himself. By the way, kids, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do it to yourself. That's just stupid. That's not smart. Yeah. But breath play is, it is considered edge play, which when we get to the ease, you'll know what that is. But it is definitively considered edge play. So what are you doing? I'm used to these chairs having like an arm. Oh, yeah. So. So. Yeah. Are these all new chairs? Jeremy treats us right. Dude, he got us new chairs and new headphones and they're painting the studios. It's like, this is fucking real. There's like a fucking like mural, like happening out in the little lobby area. This is pretty awesome. You are fantastic, my friend. Fantastic. The guy, the guy. We are fantastic. Yes. Skid Row is a fantastic studios. We are so lucky to be here. Very well taken care of. And we're drinking. We're drinking Blue Moon. And the guy's here. What? And, and. And? It's just, I just feel good. I'm just having a really good time. And we have a new call-in system. Yes, that too. It's all advanced and crap. Because you need that number again. It's 800-893-9562. So there's that. Just in case. Just in case. All right. So on to, we did the breath. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Butt plug. Butt plug. I like this definition. It's, it's, it's funny. Funny, funny, funny. She's fanning herself again. Much like. It's hot. It is hot in here. I'm telling you. I'm going to institute you naked. The lights are really bright. I'm going to make it so you have to be naked in the studio. Because you keep fanning yourself. It's hot. And then I'm sitting down. And it's just, it's, it's a lot of heat. The lights are generating a lot of heat. We're talking about very, very intense things that make me hot in my nether regions. And then on top of that, we're drinking beer. It's just, do you see how all of these things are connecting? Creating this thing. Where I just need to fan myself. Where you need to be naked. Absolutely. You are completely and totally proving my point. No. Even if I take off all of my clothes, it will not make me less. It's getting hot in here. No, not that hot. So take off all your clothes. I am getting so. No? Come on. Anyway. All right. Moving on. Yes. To butt plugs. Because Nancy's fucking, fucking with herself. I'm not fucking with myself. She's fanning herself. She's reaching under her dress. And she's like, oh yeah. Much like a dildo. But pear shaped. With a flared base. The flared base prevents the plug from being lost in the anal cavity. Okay. So here's the deal. If you are losing shit in your anal cavity. We need to fucking talk about what you're putting up in your anal cavity. Don't lose shit. Because naturally it wants to come out. It really does naturally want to come out. It doesn't want to float up to the colon. It does not. Whatever it is. You put in a Coke can up there. It doesn't want to go up there. It wants to come out. You know, the natural progression of your anus is to push things out. Hey. But you know what though? Just. I understand that this is a fact. But sometimes for newbies, there's a fear of the unknown. You don't know these things. You mean they don't study physiology? Anatomy? They never paid attention in science class? Jesus. Fuck. Hey, hey, hey. I don't fuck Jesus. Jesus. Hard limit. Hard limit. Hard limit. Religion. Hard limit. No, but I'm saying that, you know, for someone who's starting to explore putting things up their ass. Even if, even if they pay attention to those things in school, it's an irrational fear that you still have. Just putting that out there. You know, the funny thing is, is this particular flare component of the butt plug makes it particularly painful. You know, once you actually, it's, it's designed to go in smoothly into the ass smoothly. And then it's got the little ridge to kind of hold it in there, which I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie. I kind of like it. Hey, hold it in there. And then, you know, you can tap on it. Hey, hey, hey. Which kind of is a little. Hey, hey, hey. I've seen you do that. It's kind of funny. I said, do this. This, this is good. And they always go, oh, ah, oh, oh, ah, ah. I love the sounds. Men make really interesting sounds when you're fucking with their ass. I'm just going to tell you that. I mean, women probably do too. I spent more time on men's asses though. Nancy, I need to spend time on your ass so that this isn't an issue in the future. Anyway, so point being, it's the plug is, is, has smoothed, smoothed its way into the asshole. And then it's got this little ridge and it's a particular kind of pain when you take it out. You can be nice. You can be nice. And you can take it out gently. Now, now, now, exhale. I'm going to take it out. Or you can be a fucking sadistic bitch and just yank that fucking thing out where they go, ah. I like that. Don't do that to me, please. Please don't do that. I'm not taking the fun out of it. You could just be fun like the first few times. It could be, it could be nice the first few times. Okay. Okay. Well, seriously, as we discussed in anal training, if we need to get the ass in gear, we need to get the ass in gear. And so far it's just had my finger. So your ass needs more. Literally. More, more, more. So there's that. There's that. Chastity, which your phone often auto-corrects to charity. It's so true because chastity is a gift. It is a gift of charity. Is it not? Is it not the most wonderful thing for somebody that is not me to be chased? It is. Yes. It is. It's not a good thing for me to be chased. But it's good for everybody else to be. It is. This is where my hypocrisy shows. Highly shows. I'm such a big fan of chastity, which is obviously orgasm denial. And there's, you know, there's chastity belts, which I don't know of any chastity belts that people are totally comfortable with the hygienics of it and how do they feel, are they clean and all that. So there's the women. But there are cock cages, which are terribly hygienic and easy to clean. So men, just throw your cock on in there. Lock it up. And give the key to somebody that you trust. Yes, please. And see how that goes. Yeah. But I mean, the interesting thing to me about chastity is, especially with male chastity, is it has so much to do with their testosterone levels. And I've done presentations on this and that the first seven days are the hardest because, you know, a lot of men are accustomed to masturbating every day. In fact, they have a ritual, some in the shower, some whatever. They just have a ritual about it. And on the seventh day, their testosterone level peaks. It's something like 240% above baseline levels. Wow. Yeah, on the seventh day. In fact, this particular method of orgasm control is used by a lot of people in sports. So if they're planning on a marathon or a big race or whatever it is or swim, they will be chased up to the seventh day and then they will, with that boost of the testosterone on the seventh day, they will have their race or whatever be on that. Because testosterone fuels your muscles as well as your level of aggression so that it can help as a performance enhancer. Yeah. As a non-narcotic performance enhancer. Interesting. So men out there, just so you know, this is not the same for women because women have obviously very different hormone levels. But yeah, so the seventh day sucks. And then on the eighth day, it generally drops to like 130% below baseline. So the great thing about that is after you get through the first week, men in chastity are much easier to control. They're more docile. They really are. And it's, you know, it's one of those. And if you keep them in long-term chastity, you may want to start talking about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying, I'm speaking the facts. So there's chastity. Female chastity is something that I think we need to explore, though. I need more experience in female chastity. Yeah. No, I mean, and on our car ride over here, I'm guessing at what that could possibly be like, but I don't even know. So if you are listening and you know about female chastity, please call in 800-893-9562. Yes. Or tweet us, please. We like it all. Yes. We like it all. Yeah, so that was chastity. Cock and ball torture. CBT. So if you've ever heard the expression CBT, it stands specifically for cock and ball torture. Yes, torture. And, you know, we've, I don't know, if you've explored the freaky world, there's needles in the scrotum and in the penis and in the penis head, and there's, you know, that's... There's lots. I've seen hundreds of needles in cocks. I've seen the saline injections in the boys in other regions, but is that painful? Is that painful for them? Because it didn't look painful. I mean, I would say only the piercing of it. And then, of course, yeah, there's a certain amount of pain when you have your scrotum being swelled up to three, four times its natural size and you're trying to walk around. I mean, yeah, that's uncomfortable. And, yeah, there's a certain amount of pain in that. But it's not horribly torturous, and they all love it. The people that volunteer for CBT clearly like it. And it can be anything from, you know, you can do impact on the penis. There is ball kicking. Now, that has to be done in a very specialized way. Please don't take your stilettos and start kicking with a point. That's going to cause damage, actual damage to the person. So you don't want to do that. Let's be smart about these things. Don't break your toys. And that includes your bottoms slash submissives slash slaves. Don't break your toys because you don't want to play with them again. Yeah. And going to the hospital is a bad night. Yeah. It's not a good night. But, yeah, I mean, you know, anything from safety pins. Not safety pins. Well, you could do safety pins, but clothes pins. Clothes pins on around the scrotum and the penis and the head and the shaft and all. There's lots of different ways to do it. I have seen the penis sutured up so it looks like it's hidden, like the scrotum sutured up over the penis and stuff so it looks like there's nothing. I mean, sutured, which, by the way, are stitches, people that don't know. That's you fucking sewing the skin. Yes. And then I've also seen the penis sewn actually to the stomach. That's awesome. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it takes. This is not for the lighthearted. This is not for the lighthearted. Sounding is a form of CBT where you insert a metal rod into the urethra, the male urethra. That is a form of CBT. I was at a demo one time where Mistress Melissa did that to her bottom, where she sounded. And then she got out the violet wand and put it on the metal sound inside the bottom's cock. And he's a heavy bottom. It was awesome. It was really awesome. Collared. You may sometimes hear of people who say that they are collared or, you know, someone says, oh, this person is collared to me. That usually means that. That that person is a slave or submissive who's owned, who's in a committed DS relationship with someone. Right. So, for example, so I have a collar on, but this is my training collar. It doesn't quite denote that collared thing to me is very, that's it. We're done. We're done with it. Ah, you're doing shit with the eyes. I'm doing shit with my eyes, man. What the fuck? What the fucking fuck? I'm putting drops in my eyes. We've discussed, this has been part of, this has been negotiated where you tell me these things before they happen so that I look away. And I don't, I don't care. You were in front of me and you were putting that shit in your eye. Oh, yeah. Oops. Oops. I'm really squeamish about eyes. And anybody who knows me personally knows that I just, I can't, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. Anything related to eyes, whether it be contact lenses or eye drops, I don't want to see it. I don't want to fucking see it. Just fucking tell me so I look away. Because then this happens where I'm just, no, no, no. So stop it. Don't do that. Oh, God. I'm not going to lie. I might do it again just for that reaction. Oh, madness. I kind of like that. Madness. Anyways. So, yeah. Collared to me says, you know, has gone through being in consideration, in training. And you're, we're official. We're official. It's like married. Pretty much. Yeah. And there's sometimes, oh, wait, that's the next definition, actually. Collaring. So with being collared, there's often, there's a collaring ceremony. There is something. There's a lot like a wedding, you know. For some people, it's very private. And it's just, it's very intimate. It's just them two. For other people, it's more of a public thing. That's one of those, you make a thing out of it. Because it's a huge step. It really is a huge step. It should be. Which is why no one should jump to collaring. No one should. I mean, I get that there's this desire on the part of submissives to be owned. I understand this. But it doesn't mean you jump. Just like, yes, I want to be owned. I want to be owned. I want to be owned. I want to be owned. I want to be owned. It should be a long process. I mean, it should. It should take more than a year. I mean, wouldn't you question somebody who got married after they knew somebody for six months? Yes. Yes, you would. So, you know, I think that the same types of considerations for a relationship should go into it before you collage somebody. I mean, there are a lot of people that take it less seriously than that. And they just think collaring is like, you know, yeah, yeah, we're, you know, they would put it into the vanilla world as we're dating. Maybe even boyfriend, girlfriend. So, it's just one of those. Just be careful. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Oh, goodness. Consent. Consent. And I'm pretty sure, and I'm almost positive that we've covered that since like the beginning. Shout out to Subservience Juan for catching that. What the fucking fuck. Anywho. It's funny. It's not. It's not funny when you're me. And that sure freaks you the fuck out. Okay. Anyways. Wow, wow, wow. So, consent is the mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or an ongoing relationship. So, I have consented to, there are things that Smiteful Center does to me that I have consented to them from way the beginning. And there's, I mean, for us, it's never one of those things where we sit down before we go out to a dungeon and we're like, hey, is this okay? Okay. I've consented to you, even though I did it to you last week. Yeah. Because we have a relationship. It is, there are things that are kind of, there are blanket consentments between, you know, the two of us. Consentments. I'm making shit up. The next one's kind of a mind fuck for me. So, I really can't. Consensual non-consensuality. So, let's read this to you. A mutual agreement that within defined limits, consent will be given as read without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned. As such, it is a show of trust and understanding. I almost skipped a line. And understanding and usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well or otherwise agree to set clear safe limits on their activities. Well, to me, the kidnapping process where, you know, you really do need a certain amount of surprise if you're going to kidnap somebody. So, there is a predefined understanding of how much consent is given within kidnapping. And then there's liberties within that box. But also, I think that every time you go and play, every time you play, that there is this consensual non-consensuality. Wow, my brain's all melted. Because, you know, I know what your limits are. I know what your preferences are. I know what your preferences aren't. And I know how to dance the line, how to push, how not to push, how to try and make you grow in certain areas. And a lot of that is it's a part of the surprise. I think the concept of consent. Consensual non-consensuality is that there's surprise on part of the bottom. When the bottom doesn't know what's going to happen, but only the top does because the top's designed the scene. So, but that's every time I play. I don't, I don't, unless it is a clearly defined, I am topping you, you are bottoming for me like other people I just play with. Other than that, what do you want? What can I do? What are your limits? What can I not do? You know, other than that, I pretty much do that all the time because I want it to be a surprise. And I do plan these scenes. And I allude to... I look at them beforehand with evil grins and laughs and things like that as I'm packing my toy bag. It's really, really exciting. Yeah. And then take out the toys and look at them. You know, it's, you know, it's just not, it's not any fun if you're not doing a mind fuck. I like mind fucks. Mind fucks are good. I like those a lot. So the next word on the list is contract. A lot of people talk about contracts in our lifestyle. And it is a written document. That clearly defines the roles and expectations of both parties in the confines of the relationship. Some contracts have a clearly defined end point. Three months, six months, one year. Some contracts have no end point. They highlight hard limits. They highlight soft limits. They highlight, you know, the roles and overall guidelines. It is not a legally binding document, but it is certainly a lifestyle binding document where the two parties, such as you and I, we have a contract. We do. We do. And it's equally... It equally outlines what... What are my roles and what are your roles. So it's not just for one person. It's not a contract just for the submissive. It really is for both parties. As it should be. Right. Absolutely. DM. The DM. The DM is the dungeon monitor. They are... They are the ones that if you're doing something that is unsafe and maybe even unsavory... They will let you in. They will let you know. And not only will they let you know, sometimes they will kick you out. Yes, they will. And so, yeah, that's who that is. And I like that this definition kind of compares it to like a bouncer. Because it pretty much is that. Yes. It really is. Yes. And it is unfortunate when the bouncer decides to play in the middle of the party they're supposed to be monitoring. And then they block off the room. And then they block off the room that they're playing in so nobody can go in. And they clearly can't be monitoring anything because they're being flogged. And that's unfortunate. Yeah. That's unfortunate. Yeah. The DM should be someone who is... They are constantly aware of what's going on during the party. They should be someone that you are able to go to if something is wrong or if you have a question about something. They should be readily available for you. Yeah. I mean, if there's a formal DM, sash and everything, you know, in my opinion, they shouldn't be there to play. If there is such a dungeon that doesn't have a specific DM but has several people that are... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. got three people then as long as any one of the three are not playing then you know you kind of got it in or they kind of get a vibe for who's there especially if you go to a dungeon where the same players show up you kind of know you know oh david's not gonna not gonna fuck with shit he's he knows what's up you know what i'm saying so it's it's it's also depends on where you are yeah okay so then you get a bunch a series of them where they're the same fucking thing they just have different spellings i'm gonna i'm gonna compare i'm gonna come combine is what i was trying to say oh blue moon i love you um dom dominant and dom um so dom d-o-m um is usually is it not usually is a label that is given to a male dominant whereas dom d-o-m-m-e sometimes pronounced domain yes which just sounds like it should be a like a genre next to nutella or something so that that is uh for a woman who is a dominant the dominant is the person who exercises the control the the the the yin to the to the yang that is the submissive if you will um ds um so we had an episode not too long ago we did about ds dominance and submission um that is it is power exchange yes um so that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um like spanking benches and St. Andrew's crosses and kneeling benches and blah, blah, blah, blah. Massage tables. Sometimes there is rigging, you know, stuffs there. I can't think of words, but yeah, dungeon. Edge play. Edge play. Her face just lit up like fucking Fourth of July. I like edge play. Okay, so the concept of edge play is that you're playing on the edges of what is considered safe, which can include, you know, blood play, breath play. There's a lot of other kinds of very extreme impact play that can be considered edge play. It's, you know, it's huge. Fire play is edge play. Medical play is edge play. Those kinds of things where, you know, there is an extreme... There's an extreme likelihood that there can actually be damage or there can be, you know, harm done to often the bottom. So yeah, they're generally more extreme. And there's also extreme edge play, which, you know, whatever, it's all edge play. Whatever, are you just closer to the edge with extreme edge play? Do you drink a Mountain Dew with extreme edge play? I don't know. I don't know how this works. Because I'm not drinking a Mountain Dew. I already got the top space going. I don't need to drink the Mountain Dew. But edge play is awesome. You know, it really is a way to... Yourself. I mean, from the dominance perspective, you are pushing yourself to very potentially dangerous frontiers. And that's very exciting. It's very thrilling. And you're growing. And you're taking the bottom with you on this trip of this is something further than you've gone before. And it's a very exciting place to be. That was exciting that one night on the chair and with a blindfold. Yeah. So this... So this... So this... So this... This was... So we... This... This wasn't too long ago, actually. It was a couple of months ago. And it was this very intense scene with a lot of new things that I had not experienced yet. But it was a lot of new things all at once. So it was just very... That was one of those times where I could not speak afterwards. Yeah. Well, so just to explain, we were going to two parties and two nights. So this was a Friday night and we were going to a party the very next night on Saturday night. So I had to make a very conscious decision. I was only playing with one bottom, which was... Nancy. And so I couldn't... She is not a heavy enough bottom or even most heavy bottoms aren't able to take two nights of impact play unless I really kind of worked it around what I wanted to do. And when I impact, I kind of like to impact everything. I don't... I like the boobies and the booties and the legs and the feet and the back. And I like to do everything. So I made a conscious decision on the first night to not do impact, just do lots of different kinds of sensation play, which was new to her and I together. So it was... It was very interesting. It was very, very, very interesting. I think it was... It was very... It was pleasurable for both of us. So, yeah. More of that. More of that. Which leads to the endorphin rush, which is on our definition list, which everybody gets endorphins. It's not all just from, you know, exercising and shit. I mean, that's where the subspace comes from is that you get this endorphin high and you're just fucking floating. Yeah. And I'm going to skip ahead because I feel like that's directly related... to the sub drop. In that... It is what is quite literally a drop. Because you get that high. You're fucking flying. And then it could be the next day. It could be a couple of days later. You're not flying so much anymore. No, you're... You're really... It's a very depressed-like feeling. It's a very... Oh, God. It's horrible. It's just... I mean, I don't feel like I've had it that bad. I don't feel like I've had it as bad as it can be, which is kind of scary. Because it's one of those things where you just... All you want to do is curl up in bed. You want to be curled up in bed and you want to be wrapped up in blankets. Or better yet, you want to be with your dominant and you want to be curled up in blankets with them. And you just... It is that you are just left with this feeling of... It's like somebody pulled the rug out from under you. Mm-hmm. It makes sense. I mean, you float to these super high levels of endorphins and then you drop down. And generally, you don't drop down to baseline. You drop down to lower than baseline. And so your body is like, whoa, what the hell just happened? And you need to somehow figure out a way to deal with it. So with high highs, you get low lows. So that's really what sub-drop is. And to the point of this Wikipedia list that spoke earlier that proper aftercare somehow prevents sub-drop, I... If that were the case, I'd be, I'd be awesome. I don't know how to prevent sub-drop. I really don't. I don't... There's nothing I can do about sub-drop. It happens. It is a part of play. And I don't think it's necessarily a bad part. It's okay to have these natural ebbs and flow in life. And it helps us grow as people, in my opinion. It helps... And it helps... Well, personally, it helps... It has been helping to teach me to reach out to you. Mm-hmm. That... Because, you know, there's so many factors. And everybody's so busy. And there's so many things going on. And then sub-drop happens. And I'm like... Oh! Oh! I don't... But you're so busy. And you're doing this. And I'm just... I'm going to do this by myself. Mm-hmm. And I become so determined. I'm going to do this by myself. Whatever. It's just sub-drop. I can do this. It's happened before. I can do this. I can do this. I don't need you. I don't need you to go through this. And then, no. And then it turns out I do. I need you a lot for that. Yeah. So... Yeah. Well, I totally skipped ahead. Anyways. Yeah. I don't... Are we going to have to... This is taking us a very... Wow. Right? Wow. It's taking us a long time. I don't know what to say. I don't know. I mean, we could talk... There's a lot, you know, the tease and denial. We can quickly touch on tease and denial, which is the concept of you tease somebody with a concept and then you deny them with it. Let me give you a very clear example of this. Because tease and denial is not always sexual. In fact, you can do tease and denial every single day to people that you walk around at work with on every single moment. It depends on what it is. It can be, you know, Hey, Joe, want a cup of coffee? Yeah. And then walk by with, Hey, where's my coffee? You know, walk by later with your cup of coffee and not with Joe's coffee. Hey, where's my coffee? Oh, yeah, forgot it. Keep going. By the way, that's tease and denial. It's also being a fucking dick, but that's tease and denial. But one of my favorite things to do to the lovely Miss Nancy is to slightly... She loves face slapping. She loves... I mean, literally, if I want to just get her in some space, in a matter of seconds, I'll just slap her face a couple times. And there she is. She's like, ah, it's awesome. It's like lazy Dom work. But I will, in a vanilla context, I will just be out with her and I will just caress her cheeks lightly and then do like a mock, like I'm slightly slapping her face and she'll get that, ah, ah, like she's waiting for it and then I'll just walk away with a smirk on my face and she'll be like, ah. It's like having a female case of the blue balls is what that is. Mm-hmm. Tease and denial is a lot. I mean, there's sexual tease and denial, obviously, which every woman who's ever been a teenager and made out with a teenage boy has, unbeknownst to them, participated in tease and denial. Because when you make it out with them, you give them the blue balls and you ain't delivering, tease and denial. They're going home and taking care of themselves. That's pretty big. I mean, there's a lot of things. It's a very long list that we're not even close through. Golden showers, I think everybody knows what that is. You're peeing on the peoples. And the interesting thing about golden showers is you can actually... There's... The drinking of the urine. Ew. Sorry. That's hard limit for me. That's called water play. Water play? Water sports? Water sports. Water sports. Yes. Yeah, water sports. Yeah, and then there's various fetishes involved in that. There's drinking from the tap, which is, you know, directly from the source. There's putting it in a cup and having one drink from a cup. It just depends. And then you have things like hard limits, which I just said, that is a hard limit for me. Hard limits are things that you absolutely will not do no matter what the fuck. Yeah. Just will not happen. Just will not happen. And that is the opposite of... Well, no, no, no, no. It's not the opposite. Rather, it's a step below that is soft limits. Things that you maybe... I don't possibly discuss, engage in with the proper context, blah, blah, blah. For example, total public disclosure on my part because I would not be admitting this at any other time. If Smiteful Center asked me to take a penis, under the right circumstances, and it... I got a penis for you to take. Whoa, wait, wait, woman, wait. Under the right circumstances, with the right people. I mean, like it has to be perfect storm kind of shit. I'd take a penis. And I have a really strong aversion to penis. I don't like the penis. What if I painted it pink? Would you take the penis then? Okay, if it was wearing like a pink, a condom, maybe then, I'd take it. Not in the mouth. I don't want that shit anywhere near my mouth. I don't need to watch you have given a blow job. Come on, this is nothing for me. Yeah. Would you take Vanilla's penis? We can discuss that. This is... This is not a concept I had explored. To me, penis is kind of off limits. Well, no, and that's the thing. It is more of a hard limit than a soft limit, but it's... I don't know. But it would be one of those things that I would do it solely because you wanted it to happen. Well, and we can also talk about the evolution of people because what was a quasi-hard limit when I met you was fire play, which turned into a soft limit, which now we do. Right. Which was a hard limit, which is now a soft limit, which we've not done, is needle play. This is true. So people evolve as we are exposed to different kinds of play, especially with how your dominant plays. We can evolve because there's a level of trust. A lot of these types of play, some are just gross as meow like scat play, which is poop. No, thank you. No, thank you. That's just wrong because no, that's just wrong. I mean, hey, you want to do it? Rock it. Not my thing. But there are some limits that we all have that are like, oh, okay. I don't like that, but it's okay if you do it. But if we see it in the right context, it's like, wow, that's really erotic. I really enjoy watching that. That made me feel special in my special places, as Nancy says. And it's one of those, that's how we evolve as ourselves, as we push ourselves to whatever our limits are. I mean, speaking of hard limits specifically, one of my hard limits is I don't play when I'm emotionally compromised. I don't play when I'm angry. I don't play when I'm angry at the person with whom I'm playing. I generally don't even speak to someone I'm angry with, especially if it's a submissive, because I know myself well enough that I need to have a clear head. I need to be non-emotional in order to have whatever the discussion is, because I can say some very cruel things. Truly, truly, truly scaringly cruel things. And I go out of my way not to. So that is one of my personal hard limits. I have to check myself. I have to make sure that I'm... Before you wreck yourself? Well, before I wreck somebody else, let's be honest. Yeah. I will wreck somebody else, because the amount of honesty that I require, it's definitive that I have the information to emotionally damage someone for a very long time. So I'm aware of this. I know that this is a huge power. And so I go out of my way to not damage a person by making sure that I am not emotionally in a bad space. Gotcha. So that's one of my hard limits. Where else down the list should we move? Mummification. Mummification. What is mummification? I believe that to be under the umbrella of bondage, because it restricts movement. So that to me says bondage. But it's relaxing. Yeah, mummification, you know, you can saran wrap somebody, you could duct tape somebody, but it's basically so that they are completely encased and essentially mummified. Of course, they can still breathe. And it is, from what I understand, from bottoms who have been mummified, it's very comforting. You feel like you're in a cocoon. And there's a safety in that. So yeah, I mean, and it's, there's a lot of work. It's a lot of saran wrap that goes into mummification. A lot of saran wrap. Yeah, I see how that's a lot of... It's like a sweat thing. Yeah. Munch. I think munch is a word that people are like, what is a munch? And we're not talking about the guy on Law & Order SVU. Detective Munch. Really? Really? I don't know what you're talking about. Seriously? I would have gone someplace sexual with munch, but I don't know what you're talking about. Oh my God. I don't watch that show. I'm an emotional masochist. I watch it sometimes. Yeah, not me. So, but what a munch is, it's a kinky meetup. It's where a lot of kinky people get together and meet. And sometimes they're as casual as everybody just gets together at whatever restaurant. Applebee's. Yeah, and they can chat and just, it's a very, it's in a vanilla world, a vanilla context. There's no kinky attire. Oftentimes there's not specifically kinky discussion, but it is one of those opportunities for you to connect with people within your local community that are kinky. And that's a great way for, especially for newbies to realize that they're not alone and to meet other people. And I highly encourage everybody to, if you've never been to a munch, go to one. It can change your life. It truly can. You don't feel alone. You can find an actual live human being. You can find someone to connect with. Yeah. Which can lead to, maybe you go to a dungeon. And then it can lead to, maybe you meet a partner. You know, whether it's a bottom or a top, whichever side you're on. And then, you know, things can evolve from there. And it's, I can't express how valuable that can be in your life. And it all starts from a munch. So true. Painslut. Painslut. I love you, Painsluts. I love you, Painsluts. So, Painslut is someone who, it just, they love receiving that heavy, heavy, heavy pain. They're a slut for the pain. Yeah. They're what we would consider a heavy bottom, which means they take a lot of pain. But again, this is not, this is someone that is not necessarily submissive. Nope. They just, they like the pain. They like the pain. They're a masochist, which is fine. But they're a heavy masochist, which is even more fine. Yes. Yes. So, sometimes you may hear us talk about how we went or are going to a play party. And a play party is where we do these crazy things that we talk about doing, like the setting of the fire of the me. Yeah. We only have gone to dungeons. But there are private play parties that people have in their homes. Like, eyes wide shut kind of shit? Well, yeah. There's eyes, but there's some, I think in private play parties, there's almost more of a swinger aspect to it, where there is a lot more sex. But there's play too. It's, you know, there's, it's kind of fucking cool. Although, you know, nobody has the money to have castles and shit like an eyes wide shut. Pity, pity, pity, pity, pity. I did want to quickly touch on OTK. Which not everybody might know. They might see the expression OTK and not know what it stands for. It stands for over the knee, specifically referring to a spanking. So, an OTK spanking is you put somebody over your knee and you spank them. It's like old school, like daddy used to do. That kind of thing. So, just a quick. Oh, rack. And what's that? We ain't talking about the boobies. Uh-uh. Risk aware consensual kink. So, you know, you are aware that this is, that what is going to happen. You understand what the risks are. So, you want to play an edge play. Let's say fire play, for example. Well, you know, what are the possibilities that could go wrong with fire play? People and things can catch on fire. I mean, that's a, that's a reality of what could happen. So, if you are aware of these risks. And you consent to them, you know, that's more along the rack lines. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Excuse me. Wait, no, there was another one that I was like. Oh, okay. So, common misconception is, so, dominatrix. Dominatrix. So, there are terms, pro dom is, I think, the more appropriate term for someone that you would call a dominatrix. I was quite, quite corrected on the Twitter the other day. Oh. When somebody said, so, you're a dominatrix? I'm like, well, I don't do it for pay. So, no. And he's like, well, you're quite wrong. The term dominatrix has been being used for hundreds of years. And I was just like, that's cool. But, you know, I'm talking about the way we speak now on the Twitter. Because that's how we row in the modern day. And so, it's just one of those, okay, yeah. Commonly, today, in the year 2020. Yeah. In the year 2012, when the term dominatrix is used in the community, they're like all of those caveats, that is referred to as somebody that is a professional dominant, professional female dominant. The term dominatrix, I think, within the vanilla world still very much so refers to anybody that dresses in fetish wear and is a dominant female. Yeah. That would be my... I agree. I totally agree. Safe words. Yeah. Safe words. Safe words. It's a code. It's a code word. When you're just about ready to tap out, you're done. Yeah. Well, and the interesting thing about safe words is that, I mean, there's commonly, people use the color coding and they often call coloring out or whatever it is. Very common, yellow is, okay, I'm getting there. This is getting too hard. And then there's red or mercy, which is, that's it, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Don't fucking touch me again. And the interesting thing that I think the communication needs to be with both the top and the bottom is that, okay, yellow on what? Yellow altogether, or yellow on your ass, or yellow on your feet, or yellow on your back, and having that communication, because then the scene can continue on much longer than, oh, well, you're yellow, I'm going to stop or I'm going to slow down. Just give as much detail as you possibly can in that moment of yellow. Yellow on the frequency, yellow on the pace, yellow on how hard you're hitting, that kind of thing before you get to a red. Because I think we all agree that having a nice, long, enjoyable scene is preference, preferable to having it short because it was too intense in, let's say, one given area. Yeah. And there's no shame in coloring out. No. There's no shame in using a safe word. In fact, it's very shameful to not. It's shameful to not be aware of your own limits and not be aware of what you can and cannot take. And you will get a lot more respect for that. And if you are a light bottom, a top, if you are aware of that, and if you are open and honest and you go through this journey together, because let's say you are a light bottom, and you're open and honest about this, then, OK, that's what you can take. Because everybody can take what they can take. It doesn't matter. Some people just are heavier masochists than others. Some people aren't masochists at all, and they're trying it for somebody or whatever. They're just trying it because it looks...other people have fun doing it. So as long as you're open with the top and you're having this kind of open communication, it's able for you to color out with a...with a...with a...with a...with a...with a...with out with uh with complete respect and dignity i respect somebody who has let me know where they are emotionally physically whatever so that i have that awareness that if they do color out okay that that was that was something that you did really well you went that far which is so much further than you did before so especially if they want to grow in that yes um so often when we talk about a scene we're talking about like a a defined period of time in which we started to play and then the and then we then we ended playing um oftentimes when you uh preface that with the the scene the scene you're talking you're talking about the community itself the bdsm community so um so there's that um service oriented submission that's That's a me. That's a me. That is a me. That is a lot of people. A lot of people that aren't even aware that they're kinky. It comes out in their service. Let me give you an example. So the vanilla friend that we pegged. We'll just call him the vanilla. The vanilla. That's what we're just going to call him. The vanilla friend that we pegged over New Year's. He had come out and visited me, I don't remember, in December before Christmas. The beginning of December, yes. And it was one of those, you know, we were just hanging out doing vanilla shit like we do. And it was one of those where I had to do something one day and it was out of the house all day. And he cleaned my kitchen. He fucking got down on his hands and knees and scrubbed my kitchen floor. He cleaned my goddamn kitchen. And it was like, okay. He can say whatever reason he cleaned it for. He could have turned around and walked away because he didn't like the way the kitchen looked. But no, he stayed and cleaned it. And it was like, wow. Now that is a service-oriented. It was a service-oriented submissive, even though he wasn't specifically aware of his submissiveness. And then as soon as I saw that, I was like, oh, really? So we're going to start throwing some words out. Start, you know, asking him to do things and seeing where it goes. And he's a complete sub. He totally is. You know. He's so fucking submissive. It's hilarious. I love it. Every single time. When we were spending time together, I was like, yep, that's a me. You're a me. And then interestingly enough, before the pegging, but obviously after that as well, but even before the pegging, especially around the dungeon, he was almost mirroring things that you were doing. Yes, he was. Trying to make sure that the doors were being opened, trying to make sure that this was being taken care of. It was really cute. Yeah, it was really adorable. I think it was the actor in him, but it was still really cute. You think it was the actor in him? I don't know. You know, you never know with these actors. You just never know. Fucking actors. So yeah, that's a, that's a, so somebody can be a service-oriented submissive and actually never step foot into a dungeon. And never want to have, you know, a hand taken to their ass. Yeah. And that's, I think that you would probably find that in the vanilla world quite often, if you open your eyes and start looking at the people that are service-oriented in their submission. Yes. I agree. I think that a term that should be discussed is a switch. Yes. A switch. What is a switch? And how does one identify themselves as a switch? And it is somebody that both, both likes to dominate and submit. It's not just topping and botting. Topping and bottoming is, is quite common in the switch world, but you can also want to be a dominant. You could also want to be a submissive. You know, there are people, there are people I know that are dominants of other people, but they might submit or bottom to another person. Right. Because it, it, it fulfills all of their things. At the dungeon over New Year's, one of the girls sitting there said, you know, I'm a, I'm a pansexual switch. I'm a greedy fucking bitch. I want it all. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, you know, yeah, but hey, whatever. That's your thing. If you want both, you're not closed. You don't have to pick one side or the other. And it's kind of cool. Yeah, it is. It is. So we talked about sub drop, but we should also maybe touch on subspace. Subspace. Why don't you touch on subspace? Oh, so fun and awesome. God damn it. It's a, I liken it to being stoned. It's like being stoned. Mm-hmm. It's what it looks like. And you didn't have to smoke anything to get there. No, you just had to be beat up a little. Yeah, it is. You just, you disconnect. You disconnect from where you are, who's around you. It's just everything. Mm-hmm. And it's a type of like, it's like mental paralysis. And there's a giddiness. Mm-hmm. There is a, there's a. There's that doleful. There's that like smile. It's just. There's a lack of a full awareness of what's going on around. This is all true. It's often craved. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Once someone has found subspace, they want it again. It's like a fix. It's better. I've heard it said it's better than any drug. And this is from people that have done fucking drugs. But on that, if I might touch into top space. Yes. Because, you know, coming into the community, you know, let's say you're new or whatever. I know that for me, I remember when I heard the expression top space, I was like, what, wait, what's this? And I've been playing for a while. I heard subspace all the time. And I got people into subspace. And I can get people into subspace. But what is this top space of which you speak? And I think that it's, there might be an unawareness that there is an equal side to what the dominant gets out of the play that the submissive does. It is completely the polar opposite. Top space is an intense. Awareness and focus. It's like you are super uber focused on everything. And it's your mind is going a mile a minute. You're definitely thinking and you're aware of everything at the same time. And yet you're still very focused on this one thing, whether it be your bottom in whatever way they are. It also feels like you drank an entire pot of coffee. Maybe you did some cocaine. You're just so you are amped, but you're focused in your ampage. And that's to me what top space is. And in my speaking with other tops, it's the same. So I think that it's important for people to be aware that it's not just the submissive that gets it. And what I think is also what I think the submissive should be aware of is that it takes a great deal of discipline to do aftercare when you're in top space. Because, you know, I mean, although it is part of the focus, it is definitely I'm very focused on the bottom at that moment. It is not what I want to do. Because that's what I want to do. That's a very calming. I'm calming you down and I'm taking you down to a calmer moment. And you're no longer. And this is how you feel. And I will speak soft words to you. And I will sing you a lullaby. No, I won't sing you a lullaby. But it's definitely one of those. OK, this is not where I'm here. I'm like, yes, I want to go out and have like 10 cigarettes. I want to talk to everybody that's around the fire pit. I want to see what's going on. Oh, my God, how's it going? Oh, my God, this is so great. That's where I'm at. And I have to I have to rein myself in and be disciplined and take care of my bottom instead of just do whatever I want to do. I mean, I have heard more than one dominant talk about how they would like to subcontract their aftercare out. They're like, I'm shit at aftercare. I just want to subcontract it out. I'm like, it's not how it works. They really want the aftercare from you because you're the one who gave them the beating. They want you to take care of them, whether you want to or not. Sometimes we have to put ourselves aside. See, we're not we're not selfish people as dom types, as D types. You're not. I never said you were speaking to the general masses. OK, then I think it's also important to note the phrase topping from the bottom. Oh, dear Lord in heaven, because that's a. There's nothing worse than than labeling yourself to be something that you are not correct. And in the different terms that we've thrown out there, it's OK not to be a submissive. You don't have to be a submissive in order to get all these other things. No, you can just be a bottom. Yeah. So someone who tops from the bottom is someone who who who like likes to tell the other person what to do. Yeah. And the other person is is the top. The other person is the dominant. The other person is the one that is exercising the control over over that scene. And there's nothing more impolite than than! If I were to look up to this, my full center and saying and said something like, hey, a little bit to the left. Yeah, a little bit to the left. She would slap me straight up across the face. Yeah, I would. Well, let me let me share. I mean, yes, there is. There's also the bottoms that goad tops into doing things. Oh, is that all you got? You know, and that is a lot of topping from the bottom as well. And it's also a lot of pride on the on part of the the the bottom. But also. The top doesn't have to play into it. The top can just say, yeah, fuck you. I'm done. That's what you want ain't fucking happening. You know, so the top bears a certain amount of responsibility in that as well. And bottoms wouldn't do it if it wasn't effective. So that's just what I'm saying. I mean, they can they can try it all they want with somebody. But there's at some point they're going to realize, oh, I'm not going to do it. I keep goading her or him and I'm not getting what I want. So I'm going to move on to somebody else, even though that may be the person they ideally want. You know, it's like the the 12 year old boy who keeps throwing erasers at the girl across the room because that's who he wants. But she's like, you're a jerk. I don't want to talk to you. You know, it's one of those. OK, well, that that method isn't working. So that's just my thing. It's that that both sides have responsibility that the top needs to, you know, needs to be aware and not and not fall into it. That's why I got to say about that. What do you think? I think I just wanted to throw this word out here. Rape fantasy. It's not that we need to even talk about the term. I just like the term rape fantasy. Y'all think about that tonight all night long. I like the word ravishment. I still I like rape fantasy better. Rape fantasy is good. I want to be I want to be right. I want to be right. You've been ravished. You've been ravished. I want it again. You complained. Well, OK, OK, OK. You did. You complained. I didn't complain. You hurt. You were all owie. I was owie. Yes. But but. I don't think that being ravished doesn't necessarily mean that smiteful sinner needs to come out and play. OK, so but I ravished you that one time. That was good, I guess. I mean, I'm not saying that there was no pain. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Everybody wants to be ravished. Let's be honest. Yes. It's hot. It is. I don't care what side of the equation you're on. It's like, oh, yeah, I want that. We can do that to me. You know, yeah, everybody likes that. Everybody likes to be taken. Everybody likes to be taken. I'm serious. Everybody wants to be thrown on the bed and taken. I don't care who you are, man, female, whatever. It's fucking hot because there's nothing quite so exciting about it. I mean, I'm not saying that it's not exciting. I'm just saying that it's not exciting. I'm just saying that it's not exciting. It's not that mixed mixed mixed mixed mixed mixed mixed mixed mixed mixed mixed mixed nothing quite so exciting as somebody who knows what they want and wants and takes it yeah you know i like to fight back but i like that too i do like to fight back it's fun i could never try to fight you i just like you know right now i would just laugh when i'd smack you grab your hair and throw you down and you'd be done okay i'll fuck down i promise right right i'm talking about like like other doms like clash of the titans and shit i want to fight say nine i'm looking at you you totally want me to fuck him i really do i really do okay so sidebar well actually not even sidebar because we're totally done with this glossary but um sometimes my full sinner and say nine tweet back and forth and i'm just like i want to watch you i would really like to sit in a corner on an armchair with a cigar if i smoked cigars and just watch that come to fruition because i just imagine that there'd be like thunder and lightning and like it'd be like this crazy ass thing where it's like whoa the world is shifting on its axis and and uh craziness yeah yeah yeah it's dom sex dom sex it's violent and there's fighting and there's biting and there's clawing and there's no i will not do that i will take you no you will take me no oh submissive sex is not nearly as exciting as that right it's like fucking fight club except you do talk about it and i do talk about you tweet about it too you might even blog about it you might even talk about it in your podcast well then with that said um we um we're done um so please uh like our facebook page um and then also download previous episodes on itunes and other stuff yeah get caught up on us and also you know we we made a couple changes in the show yeah so uh due to to professional and some conflicts we will be we will be losing dr rossi and we're we're sad about that but she's doing things that are best for her for her life in her future which is wonderful so everything will be good and she may come back on occasionally in the future we're not sure yeah but so it's just it's just gonna be nancy and me it's just us um and with that we're we're looking at making just a couple changes to the show making it a little bit different we're gonna talk about having some guests on yeah um people with specializations and in particular fetishes that we will discuss um so you know if anybody is interested in coming on hit us up on the facebook on the twitter on our emails if you are so lucky to have them on our texts as if you are even not luckier to have them yeah um yeah for for! topics and things like that we uh we floated this idea today at a munch and got some amazing at two munches and got some amazing feedback so i think that i i'm really looking forward to this show growing and becoming even better absolutely i'm very excited as am i i'm super excited and this is great and all this stuff and the stuff and the you and the um and the ah oh and if you if you missed us we were on the on the rev mel show yeah so you if you wanted to know what we looked like then you could go there yeah and you could you could see that well if you know what if you follow us on twitter we we we tweeted it it's on my blog yeah that too smitefulcenter.com um so so that happened and there's like some spankings at the end what spankings little bear cheeks going on yeah yes a lot of embarrassment and blushing it was awesome it's very funny though you know the whole topping from the bottom thing um i i try i try i try to tell us my full center not not to do bear ass and she was like oh really oh done yes i'm a giver yeah that was i that was unintentional i didn't want that i just i just i don't know why i said that so unfortunately we ran quite a bit over but and we didn't even hit all of the glossary definitions it's it it's a huge world um and you know you can you can google any term that you hear um you can also hit us up on all of the social medias that we've been mentioning throughout the show if you have any questions any direct personal questions you know whatever how that goes we're we're pretty available yes that we are yeah and we will be available again next week what don't know what we're talking about yet but you know whatever we're going to shoot from the hip we'll take requests yes have a good night everyone have a We'll be available again next week. What? Don't know what we're talking about yet, but you know, whatever. We're going to shoot from the hip. We'll take requests. Yes. Have a good night, everyone. Have a good night. What up, Sonia? Sonia lost it. She didn't cut us out. So now really have a good night. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny.