Thank you. That startled me quite a bit. Yeah, it was, the headphones were a little loud. Well, no, and the funny thing is that I turned over to Joel and I kind of gave him a nod and he, and then it was kind of like, oh, okay, so we're going to go now. So I knew it was coming. Really? I knew it was going to start. So what you're saying is that the next time that I beat you, you want me to look at you so you know it's coming and it'll still shock you? You know what, I stopped looking a while ago. I used to whenever, if I had my back to you, what I would do is, I'd look down and I'd look at the shadow and look at the shadow of whatever the fuck was coming to me. Fucking sneaker. Yeah, I'd look down and it kind of like, yeah, then I stopped looking because that actually hurts more. That actually hurts more. When you have this anticipation? When I see it coming, because then when it hurts, then I'm like, ah, ah, no, I liked, I would have preferred the shock value. Of that with the pain, it would have made it, I don't know. See, and now I see the brilliance in films like A Clockwork Orange, where they like keep their eyes pried open to watch things. I know you're an eye thing, I'm just saying. Now I see the brilliance. Scary scenes. Yes, yes. Well, hello. Oh, yes. Oh, hi. There are people listening. I'm novice Nancy. Smiteful center. I'm Dr. Rozzy. And we are here tonight to, to channel our inner Emily Post. You have an Emily Post. Emily Post. I don't have a fucking Emily Post. I have an Emily. Yeah, I don't think I have one either. I have an Emily Post. I have a, I have a Mary Poppins. I have all of those, whatever the, whatever those iconic figures are of things that should be just so, I have them deep in me. Well, not like literally, but you know, I don't know. That would be weird. Are they Benoit balls? Just asking. Well then. No. Silly. Which means I need to add something to my toy bag now. You know what's really funny is that, when was it? Friday night. Was it? No. Yeah. Friday night we were having drinks with, with another couple. And I said to the other submissive there, I said, you know, here's the thing. We really, we, we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves basically. Wow. Because we're not going to be able to do anything. We're going to be like, we're going to be like, we're going to be like, we're going to be like baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby because you are just spouting out shit such as right now with the Benoit balls. Well, if you're putting it out into the universe, of course she's going to take it. Well, there's that. I learned that this week and you have to be careful what you put out there. And you put that out there. And not even just for me, but for other dominants out there, you put it out there. It's extra special. But that's not what we're talking about today. That's not what we're talking about today. Although that is always exciting. We are discussing kinky etiquette, which is near and dear to your heart. And it is actually quite near and dear to my heart as well. It's really hard if you go to a place for the first time, whichever place, I mean, outside of kinky. If you go to any place for the first time, you kind of want to know what to expect and what you should do, how you should behave, how should you dress. I mean, how many of us check out on Yelp the dress code for whatever fucking restaurant we're going to go to? We like having that kind of, you know, guidelines of what to do. Well, the anal people do, yes. Yeah, you know, I didn't want to say that out loud, but I was like, I look at Yelp for the reviews, not about what I should wear. The only time I would look at Yelp for what to wear is just, is there a dress code? Like at certain caliber of restaurants, is there a dress code? But otherwise, okay, I'm going to wear what I want. Well, but yes. Yes. Yes, thank you. Yeah, so, you know, in the confines of our kinky world, there are unspoken rules. There are unspoken rules. There are rules that are more obvious, but it's always difficult to kind of, nobody really talks about it and nobody kind of tells you, hey, you know, you're doing this wrong, you're doing that wrong. Sometimes you can just be walking around making an ass out of yourself and not know it. Yeah, there is an expectation that you be aware of, of certain, certain protocols, you know, and I get that. It makes it difficult. I'm pulling up the outline so I know what the hell I'm talking about. I have mine right here. As do I. As do I. One of our, well, I will tell you what is the first on the outline. Please do tell us. Well then. Addressing people. So a lot of, a lot of people have, they're, they're given their own, their self-given title. Yes. Sir, madam, master, lady, goddess, you know, whatever. You can imagine it. Somebody has it. If you can't imagine it, somebody has it. And as much as you may want to laugh that somebody wants to call themselves Empress Juju, you just go with it. You do. You just go. There is, there's a, there's a, a, a, a degree of, of reverence that should be given to whoever. I mean, really anybody. And just because you're sub does not mean that you don't deserve some respect. You deserve some respect, but it, but in terms of titles, it's a little bit different for, for people in top world. Well, I guess it has to do with philosophy. For me, for me personally, I, I address other dominance by their title, by what they prefer to be called. Mistress, sir. In chat, in general, when I'm typing them, I usually capitalize as well. You capitalize. Sir, mistress, master, whatever it is. Simply because it is, it's, it's just a, a sign of respect. And it's courteous. I, I don't demand the same in return, but to me it says a great deal about a person should they, they choose to follow those protocols. What's like just in respect, even with like a doctor, you would capitalize it, Mr., Mrs., Miss. Yes. Miss everything. Mm-hmm. It's out of respect. And, and if you don't know, or if you're not sure, ask. Oh yes. Oh, there's a thought. Let's ask. Yeah. And, and, you know, no one is going to turn their nose up at you because you ask them, how, how would you like to be addressed? Mm-hmm. Or do, do you prefer, you know, sir or master? Do you prefer miss or mistress, you know, or, or whatever. And then that's at least a gateway for somebody to make a, Hello. Hello feedback. For somebody to be able to make the, the determining response that I prefer to be called goddess. I prefer to be called lady, you know, whatever it is. Madam, whatever. Hey, it is what it is. And I have a side question. With the, with the title master. We're a little feedbacky here. Sorry, y'all. So with the title master, I, I associate master a lot with, with leather culture. Mm-hmm. And so, but do you think that, do you think that, do you think that, do you think that, do you think that, do you think that, do you think that, it's safe to make that assumption where if someone calls themselves master, it is because they. No. Because not, not everybody does follow leather. And in order to, to achieve the title master in the leather world, you have to go through all of these, you know, these levels. It's fairly in depth in order to become a master. And, you know, there are so many, supposed to be so few masters than, than slaves, which is, you know, kind of how you start out. So, no, it's not, I don't ever assume. I will ask. I mean, if they're wearing a big fricking leather vest, then maybe that's a, you know, valid point. But, you know, I'll, you know, just are you, oh, are you in a leather family or whatever? Or if you don't care, then don't even get into it. Wait until you determine that you want to know, you know. Gotcha. Gotcha. I think being assumptive on either way is, is a violation of etiquette. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would have to agree with that. Yeah. Absolutely. I think that what sometimes happens though is, is you, you want to fit in and you want, and you do as others do. You do as others do. So it's really easy to fall into that. Oh, okay. So, so-and-so called you this. I will do that as well. But I can't stress enough that. Why are we so feedbacky? Headphones. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. How's that? I just turned mine down. Perfect. You know what? And there's some other ones that are up. I'm just going to crank those puppies down. Oh. How's that? Oh, you turned it off. I turned it off. I'm back. I'm back. Real nice. I got vetoed for a second. I'm just cranking down the links. Is that better? Are we better now? Thank you. That's why we have an engineer. Because we don't know the shit. No. We're just fucking around in here. That's right. That's what we're doing. We're the talent. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Talent. Yes. I feel like I need a twirl of a ton or something to qualify as talent. I don't know. How about tassels on your boobies? Oh. All right. I'm sorry. Back to the point. Such an obsession with my tits. I'm just like, ah, there's just. I'm sorry, but everybody should have obsession with tits. Tits are beautiful. Let's be honest. Straight men love the breast. Gay women love the breast. Gay men love the breast. Straight women love the breast. Do you want to know why? Because the breast, the boobie, is A, the source of life, and B, fucking amazing and phenomenal. So everybody should bow down to the breast. That's all I have to say. Soapbox moment over. Back to our etiquette. Oh, man. I feel really distracted now. Because of the boobs, I am distracted. Because boobs are beautifully distracting. All right. Seriously, though. Yes. Back to being serious. Another, I guess, issue in addressing people is preference of pronouns. Yes. In regards to gender. Yes. Because, you know, many times there are people who are in transition. Mm-hmm. And I think that's when it's even most important to ask. If you're not sure, fucking ask. What is your own amount of preference? Well, and yeah, and that makes people very uncomfortable. The person that's asking the question. Because we, as society, have this innate belief that we should know. We should automatically know if it is a man or a woman standing in front of us. And obviously, if you're in a community where we have a large transgender population, it makes it a little bit more difficult. Or even just people that, you know, cross-dress or whatever, you know, that in the moment are so wholeheartedly in that space that they need to be referred to in that, whatever gender they're doing. But it is uncomfortable for a person to not intrinsically know. So then it's challenging for us to be able to be humble and have the humility and the guts to just ask, you know. For some people, it just produces so much anxiety. Because they're so unaware. They're so unaware of what is going on. Because they feel that sometimes things need to be put in a box here or there. And that causes a lot of anxiety. And it doesn't allow people to just ask that question. Like, okay, how do you want to be addressed? Do I address you as he, she, or whatever? Even I feel that sometimes. And I'm supposedly, you know, educated and have to know how to address people. And sometimes I've met, you know, M to F or F to M's. And I'm just like, what do I say? What do I say? Yeah, there's definitely a moment of freak out. It's interesting that you bring up the whole putting things. Into boxes thing. Because, as a sidebar. A lot of times, it has happened where I feel like to identify myself as submissive. It's kind of like a must. You must. You must identify as something. You must identify as all of these things. I need, people need to have a label. They need to have something. Oh, yeah. They must. It's just like, it's not, you got to be able to organize. Oh, shit. People don't like things floating. No, no, no, no, no. So, it's interesting that you should bring that up. But, where was I going with it? I don't know. That was your sidebar. It was a sidebar. That was my sidebar. We were talking about pronouns. Yes, we were talking about pronouns. It's on the outline. Hey. Well, she has, on the outline, she has it like as something else. Little miss, I have to have an outline. Okay. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I was like, I told Sam, I was like, that's her outline. Usually, it's like, oh, A, B, C, D, E, F, G. The fucking bullets and shit. Yeah. Yeah. But, that don't float with me. That don't float with me. I have been learning a lot of new ways to do things. Things that are out of my comfort level. Let me just tell you, peoples. There are some things that wearing this collar, has produced all of these different new experiences where I just, I take a moment, take a deep breath, and remind myself, it's okay. It is not the end of the world. If I do not have bullets in my outline. I was just surprised. I've been out of the mix, as you know, for a couple months. And yeah, I was like, oh, what's going on? Last week, we didn't have an outline at all. I was like, oh, really? This was a big step. Yeah. It was just like a fling. Well, and that's because- I see you cringing. That's how I roll though. I'm like, yeah, we don't need an outline. We're just gonna go and we're gonna talk about this. And then we're gonna talk about that. We're gonna have our own personal experiences. And that's what we're gonna do. And she was just like, oh, okay. But there was an uneasiness about it. I can see her tensing up from across the table. Like how difficult it was for her. I feel itchy. All right, so enough about the outline. Let's get back to the topic. Yes, yes. Yes, so transgender people, obviously addressing them as they identify and as they prefer. And a lot of times, I've never, I mean, when you've made a mistake, when I've made a mistake, I haven't had anybody like freak out at me and start calling me names and thinking I'm a horrible person. So people make mistakes. But yeah, it's always a good thing to address them by what they prefer. It's a sign of courtesy. It's a sign of respect for the person. Yeah, totally. And that was before even outside of everywhere. I know that I teach at college university level and some of my students thought it would be okay to just address me by my first name. Like, wait, I think I've had this disgusting thing of like, no, no, no, no, there's a space, there's a boundary here and we have to, you gotta know your role. And that's what I said in class, know your role. Professor, student. There's a lot of people that are like, oh, I'm a teacher. I'm a teacher. I'm a teacher. I'm a professor, student. There's a sense of familiarity that I think that in the kink community, you, yes, know your role, know your role. And if you are, as a submissive, you're speaking to dominance, then know that they like to be addressed as miss, sir, whatever, and adhere to that, adhere to that. So yeah, know your role, totally know your role. Yeah. Which takes us, I think is a good segue into touching people. Yes. And I'm not talking about like, you know, touching people. We're not doing booby touches. We're not doing genital touches. We're just talking about, you know, literally touching them, their arm, hugging, any of these things. You have to be very, very aware of roles in this situation because the truth is you have no right to touch another person's submissive without their master, mistress's, daughter's permission. Dominance permission. So if anybody is wearing anything that might perceive to be a color, then you ask that dominant, may I? My mentor, she's got several submissives. I still ask her, you know, may I hug that person? May I? And she obviously says yes. But it is a sign of respect for that dominant that I'm not going to assume that I have that right, that I'm always going to be respectful, respectful of them before I touch somebody, before I, whatever it is. And that's, I mean, that's just in general, casual non-play situations. That's a, you know, everybody's dressed. When we're in play, it's a different world altogether. Oh yeah. You don't even fucking ask. No. You don't touch. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Even broader than that. So I, okay. So I am, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I like my personal space. I am in love with my personal space. I like my personal space. I like to masturbate to my personal space. I'm very close with it like that. Um, Sebby Sebby Sebby Sebby Sebby again, it goes back to familiarity that you feel that you have that, you're that close. You might feel that we're that close, but I might not. And so, and it's, as a submissive, if someone asks my dominant, you, if they can hug me, and you know this about me, if you know that I'm, if I've confided in you about how I feel about someone, I'm kind of like, I don't know, I don't like it. I like the distance between us. They approach you to ask if they can give me a hug. I rely on you to respect that, that boundary that I have. Yeah. And make sure it is respected by others. Well, and there's that where it could be about a specific person, but if a dominant tells somebody that they cannot touch their submissive, it's nothing personal. It's, no, not right now. I think, you know, she's in a space where she just needs to not be touched, or you don't even need to answer, just no, not right now, which is, fine. And that I think that we get into the challenge of just human natural behavior where you feel rejected. Because who says no to a hug? I mean, in polite society, who says no to a hug? And it is, it's just, there's a different nuance within this community, this lifestyle, where you have every right to say no to a hug, and it's not impolite. And that is, that is a change, it's a paradigm shift that's required in a person's head. I think it has a lot to do with boundaries, your own personal boundaries that you don't want. Like, I like my space this much. And if I allow you to come into my bubble, okay, but especially in play, like you were saying, yeah, I was doing my reading and research. And I saw, yeah, that, you know, when they're in that particular zone, that's something that's like, no, no. It's fucking sacred. It's taboo. But I have a question. Yes. From our listener, Tam. Do subs wear collars in the real world? Yes. I'm wearing mine right now. I wore mine all day today. I wore mine when I went to go get a massage today. So I was letting Dr. Rozzy know that I got some pretty unkind stares today. I'm wearing the key. I'm next to you. Yeah. So here's what happened. So I wanted to take my full center out for massage. And we both got massages. So we sat down. There was no pretending they weren't going to stare. No, they were full on looking. Oh, yeah. They were not subtle. Not at all. They were. Yeah. Yeah. And this was a new experience. And I think, I might blog about this. It was a very new experience for me because I felt very judged. Like judged to just a crazy degree. I would have felt more comfortable had they like asked or said something, but there was no words. Nothing was said. I got looks and they were not. And I smiled back and I tried to kind of, you know, almost tried to pretend it wasn't even there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was not happening. It was not happening. I wore my collar every single day. I wore it to work. She wore it to Thanksgiving. I wore it to Thanksgiving with my family. I have long hair so I can, I can turn it around so that the lock is the back of my neck and just wear my hair down. And it just, it looks like I am a punk rock princess, which is really funny at work because I am not. You're like conservative queen at work. I am the conservative queen at work in the way that I dress. And she has this purple metal chain around her neck. Yeah. With a pink lock. It's such a pretty pink lock. It's very cute. It's very pretty. So yes, to answer that person's question. Yes. Yeah. And then to go further onto that is that, that the Nancy's collar is very, it's very obviously a collar within the community. There's nobody in the community that would question that being a collar. Um, but I have seen necklaces. I have a girlfriend of mine, um, who she has a collar and it is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. There's a sword that goes into like these flowers or whatever. It looks like a necklace, but it's very large. And that is her collar. And it was, uh, this was symbolic from her, sir. And that's why she wears that. And then there are those that were just the simple, uh, silver single, like, like, like your friend wears. Yeah. It's almost like a tube. Yeah. Like a tube, uh, which is very subtle and it can go with it. It looks just like a regular choker. Um, uh, so you, you would be surprised at what could qualify as a color. I, um, Tiffany's just look at the Tiffany's lock necklaces that could qualify as a color. You know, it can be very, very subtle. It can be very overt. It can be, you know, a full metal lock, which, you know, of course we see people wear it in dungeons in the world, but yeah, it, and it, again, back to a previous comment, if you have any questions, ask, if you are unsure, ask, Oh, is, is that an necklace or is that your color? Yes. And trust me, you know, a submissive is proud of their color. It is, it is a sign of respect that they wear their masks. It is a sign of respect that they wear their masks. And so they are proud to say, yes, this is my color, you know, mistress who master gave this to me, you know, and that's a big thing. I was so excited. Okay. So I was so excited because I really, really, really, really, really wanted to go was looking forward to our next kinky event because it was going to be the first time that it was gonna be out in public, public meeting, like other kinky people with, with this color on like, yes, I feel like a debutante of sorts. I want other people to see that. I mean, yes, they already knew I was spoken for, but I'm like really fucking spoken for bitches. Yeah. You know, like you're keeping it a squared sort of. Yes. Totally. And I was really excited about that. And I am still excited for people to see it. And when I get compliments and they say how pretty it is, I'm like, yes, I feel I'm beaming with joy because it's one of those, I made it, I did something where, where I worked towards this and, and this totally means the world. And, and as you said, there's a lot of different things that can call, qualify as a color, but I think what makes it a color is the intention that you put into it. So when she put this around my neck and she, this, this came together and it was locked. Um, there was this kind of this, this is, this is our next step. Yeah. This is, this is more of a commitment. Um, and we, and, and I did it very kind of ritualistically. You were kneeling, you know, and I, I spoke to you, you know, so you understood the significance of it. Yeah. And that's, that's about the connection between you and I, and there's going to be a connection between whoever else has given whomever a color. There always is. And it always, always very representative. So yeah, I mean, that's a color is you should always ask. Cause you never know. Cause call it, cause things that look like colors. Now you buy it, Claire's and you can just wear them walking around. So it may not actually be a color, but you know, it doesn't hurt to ask. Can you be fancy and have like several colors? Like this one is for this event and that one's for that event. Just because I know you kind of like to accessorize sometimes. So that's why I ask. Well, I'm sure Nancy would say yes. I would say no. And the reason I would say no is because it is my color. It is the dominance color. It is a gift from the dominant to the submissive. And so unless I randomly wanted to decorate her up, you know, for the holidays, which I can't imagine, although anyway, a green and red, inception ideas, a green and red, I'm putting it out in the universe. If we can get you in a red and green one, I'm bringing Christmas lights to the next play party. I'm just saying a little star on that. That would be awesome. Yes. Anyway. So, so yeah, the, the, I, I don't know dominance who have, have multiple colors, for one submissive. However, it doesn't come off. However, for someone who say, for instance, is not, is not color to someone. There are dead. There are decorative play callers. Yes. You know, if there's like some really beautiful ones on Etsy. Oh, and then the liquid nymph. Yes. Liquid nymph. Liquid nymph has these, Oh, it's like lace and so pretty and very girly. Oh, they're so precious. They're really beautiful. They're, they're so precious. And, and so I saw, I saw that and I'm like, yes, I can totally wear that with a fucking petticoat and like a, like a, like a waist cincher or something crazy like that. And just totally make it look so, none of the nannies. And tassels? And tassels, sure. That matches. Yes. Yes. Yes. Let's keep it classy kids. Yeah. It has to match. So, so yeah, I guess if you weren't colored to someone, you, yeah, sure. You could. So I can go on Etsy and be like, Hey, I like this. Sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And it could make a statement about you. It doesn't necessarily need to be, you know, indicative of your commitment with someone else. Yeah. Maybe what is it? You're inceptioning something? I'm inceptioning a Tiffany one. Out into the world. Does everybody need to now go, do we need to have a watch of Inception so we know what the hell you're talking about? It's a fucking movie. Everybody's seen it. Who hasn't seen Inception? Oh dear Lord. Yeah, it's a good movie. It's a goddamn good movie. Oh, but so, it's about teaching people. Yes. So it was really, when you, okay, so for instance, Friday. So Friday was a very heavy night for me in terms of play, because it was a very intimate, very intimate situation. And you had a lot of new things. I did. And- To tell, you know, the listeners, we went to two play parties, both Friday and Saturday night. And so, I'm not saying that I am just playing with Nancy. I can't, I, it's, she's not a masochist. And I still then playing two nights in a row, heavy beatings would be really, or even light beatings, questionable. I want to keep my submissives fresh. So I made the conscious decision that it would be a non-impact night on Friday and an impact night on Saturday. So we've primarily done impact play publicly. And then, you know, some humiliation play at home. And, and so I, I, I pulled out some, some very different toys that, that Nancy had not, had not experienced before, all kind of in one night. And it was a very interesting montage. And by the way, we played to a Mozart's Requiem Mass, which was fucking phenomenal. Yes. So, yeah. So there, I'm sorry. So, so afterwards, I was, I was on some fucking cloud. I was, I was floating. I was, fuck man, that shit was delicious. And I could not walk. I could not speak. I could not do a lot of things. Yes. And had someone that was not smiteful sinner come up and so much have put a fucking hand on my shoulder, would have felt like, I think that would have been devastating to me. Kind of like a violation. Yeah. It's, it's, you have, at that, at that point, you know, she was in complete subspace. And there's a bubble. There's definitely this bubble about you. And I'm a big believer in energy and energy play. And, and somebody else's energy. It's going to, it's going to just not only just burst the bubble, but it's gonna just decimate it. So yeah. That would be, that would be not cool. And even, even you can, you can damage the bubble verbally as well. You know. Cause there are people that are just weird and creepy. was like, hey, Nancy. Or, you know, let's say mid-scene, somebody, you know, tries to get Dominic's attention or even the bottom's attention and gives him a thumbs up. You know, really, person? Go the fuck away. That is poor kinky etiquette. Yes. I think that when people are playing, it's definitely a spectator sport. You know, you keep your distance. And if you need to talk, talk softly. Because even though I, even though myself, if I'm sitting there and there's a music playing and I'm listening to the music and I'm also opening my eyes and I'm looking into your eyes and this whole thing going on, inevitably, I will hear someone else talking. I will hear, I will pick up on it and it just happens. Also, in keeping distance, say for instance, you were using floggers and someone decided that they needed to stand two feet away from you. Part of etiquette is to know that you need to give space to people who are playing because you then put yourself in the line of danger. Yeah. Yeah, and it's not the person who's wielding the flogger or the whip's fault. It's the person who got in the way. Right. Absolutely. It's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, on the flip side of the coin of that particular kind of etiquette, it is the person who's wielding the whip or the flogger to have a reasonable amount of space for them to use. They don't, they don't need an entire room bordered off for their, their flogging. Yeah. Which, which might have been witnessed. So, that takes us to our next point. Using equipment in a dungeon. So, So there's a couple of different things. When there's whatever kind of furniture that you're gonna use, once you determine that you're gonna use that, typically, typically, and I hope usually, you wipe it down before you use it. It's like the gym. You wipe it down. Yes, exactly. It's like the gym. And just like the gym, there are limits to time. There are limits that you can use that machine. And there's an etiquette. There is an etiquette to that. Scenes can be short, long, whatever. Absolutely. But anybody who's gone to a dungeon can attest to the fact that there will never be enough PlayStations. If it's a busy night, you gotta rotate. Yeah, absolutely. It's, everyone is there for the same reason that you're there. They all wanna play. Right, and having somebody literally sit on a spanking horse because you wanna go out and have a cigarette, but you wanna come back and use that spanking horse. It's one of those things. That's really just rude. I get that you want that, but you know what? Then don't smoke a fucking cigarette and use the goddamn spanking horse right now. That's just me. It's just rude. It would be like your friend standing on the treadmill and waiting for you to come back. It's like you're on a bike from whatever you were doing, making a phone call when there are people waiting for treadmills. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Or using a piece of equipment to lay out your toys. Oh, or multiple. Multiple, yes, yes. Multiple pieces of equipment to lay out toys. Yeah, so, you know, because there is not a fucking tray or little table where you can lay out your own shit. Or maybe the bag in which the toys were brought to the dungeon. But we have... You could do this. We have strong feelings about this. We might have experienced this recently. Yes. Yeah, it was... Yeah, it was one of those things where, I mean... In one evening, I can't tell you all the things that we experienced. We experienced people literally using equipment as where they're going to lay their stuff out. People barricading particular rooms where all they're doing is flogging in the room and there's plenty of room for a whole other playstation to be used. And they barricaded it so nobody could use it. To people just sitting on equipment and talking. Yeah, I mean, it was like... It was mind-boggling. And it sucks because, you know, you pay your entrance. You pay to play. Yep. And so when you go and you encounter that kind of thing and people are being just really just inconsiderate. Selfish. Very selfish. It sucks because you fucking paid to go and play. That just... That irks me. That irks me. That irks me a lot. So you as a mistress are able... Like, let's say it was like a newbie. Complete newbie. First time ever at the dungeon. Can you as a mistress go and say, excuse me, I need this space? Anybody could go to anybody and say, excuse me, you know, would you please... Respectfully, would you please, you know, mind having your equipment be someplace else so I could use this banking bench? The challenge with that is they're generally in the middle of the scene. No, but if it was somebody just chit-chatting, like, hey... Oh, yeah, you can absolutely say, excuse me, may I use this equipment? Absolutely. And I've done that before. I've done that at dungeons. And I've never had an issue where people go, oh, yeah, no. You know, I have... I did have an issue once where I said, you know, they're just literally sitting on this bench that I wanted to use. And I say, you know, excuse me, you know, may I please use this? And they go, yeah, no, we're holding it for our friend. And my next thing is, is your friend coming soon? Yeah, we think so. And I was like, well, may I use it until your friend comes? Well, no, he's coming soon. Is he in the building? Well, we don't know. With all due respect, and I don't want to go get the dungeon master at this point because that's just stupid. Just say, since you don't know that they are in the building and I am here with my equipment, how about if I do my scene now and then when I'm done, your friend can use the equipment? And it was one of those, like, this baffled them. Like, what do you mean I can't have it right now? This baffled them that they couldn't just sit there and chit-chat on this equipment. And to me, that speaks to, I don't know, and it boils down, I had a challenge with this the other night where people were using the equipment as a social gathering. And it either came down to an extreme familiarity with the space or an extreme inexperience with dungeon etiquette. Because, you know, you just don't, it's not like I'm going to hold on to this for whenever my, you know, whenever somebody comes. No, I mean, I have, you know, can you go down and check this room? Is it available? Okay, wait there, I'll bring my stuff. Well, I'm going to be there in two minutes or less. So I can, it's not like I'm having you hold it for 30 minutes. Yeah. So, yeah. Kind of reminds me of In-N-Out. Go get that table, go get that table. Like, I'm still the 40th one in line, you know? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Or the cafeteria in college. Yeah, yeah. Some people are special. Some people are very special. Very special. And not in a good way. But, and even with, so even after, once you have procured said furniture slash equipment, I think it's part of being polite to the establishment itself and to whoever is the dungeon monitor that you care for that piece of furniture. So after you use it, you want to clean off your germs. Clean off your dirtiness. You're all dirty out there. I know it. What if you have the MRSA virus? Come on. Which one? MRSA. Oh, MRSA. That was one that was huge in the gyms like a couple of years ago. We were talking about MRSA. I'm just thinking of, you know, this gym equivalent. We're going with this gym parallel. I like this. But yeah, clean it. And then additionally, I'm not saying anybody should rush. They're seen on a busy night. Obviously have your scene be your scene. But when you're done, do your aftercare and don't linger. Yeah. You know, when Nancy was, and it wasn't even a busy night, but when Nancy was in mega la la land and when she gets in some space, she stays there for a little while and that's fine. But I am, to me it is, I try to be very polite and turn over my equipment quickly. So I don't have a problem with wiping down the equipment, even though there are a lot of tops, dominants that have challenges with that. They're like, I'm a dominant. I shouldn't do that. You know what? My sub is sitting there in like fucking floaty space and I'm just hanging out. So I'm going to start packing my shit up and then I'll wipe this down. So if somebody wants to come use it, they can use it. You know, that's just courteous to other players. Because for me in the hierarchy of who and what I am, I believe in being courteous above all, unless somebody is an asshole. And then I believe in being a bitch above all. It's really all, there's a matrix in my head that really defines when I turn left and turn right and open the door just so you know, that's how it works. You don't want to get lost in my head. Uh-uh, no, thank you. Well, maybe I do. I don't know. Yes, and here's the thing. Chances are that if you yourself were waiting so anxiously for whatever piece of furniture or whatever themed room, chances are, someone else is feeling the exact same way as you are playing. So it is definitely one of those situations where do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. There's a thought. There's a thought. Golden rule. What? Golden rule? Three for a fucking loop, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Mind blown. Like show respect to people in a dungeon the way we do in the real world. What? Like that? Yeah. Listen, people. Just because we're in a dungeon, just because we are kinky fuckers does not mean that we stop being civilized people. We can be heathens and civilized. Yes. We can exist on multiple planes. Yes. We are complex creatures, us in the kinky world. Mm-hmm. Bring your manners with you. Yes. And really at the foundation of it all, we're all outsiders. We kind of are. We are. We are a band of misfits. Yeah. And the moment that we start disrespecting each other, be it for, you know, lack of etiquette or, you know, style of play or just philosophy of DS, whatever the fuck it is, the moment you start having that kind of like issue with each other, I mean, you kind of have the question, wait a minute, aren't we all kind of in this together? As cheesy as that sounds. Yeah. You know? My mind is filling with Carpenter songs. Just saying. Okay. Or Muppet songs. Yes. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, that's something to keep in the back of your mind. Chew on that for a little bit. So, there's that. Excuse me. What? You guys are funny. You guys are funny. So, yeah. So, then there's the different dungeons. Mm-hmm. There's. There's a lot of different places that. In your city, there is a dungeon. Oh, mostly. Most guaranteed there is. Unless they're outlawed and then it's like a speakeasy. A speakeasy. I'm talking to you, Boston. Oh. So, different dungeons have different policies. You know, some let you take some alcohol. Yes. Some allow you to go ahead and you do you. Mm-hmm. With the full understanding that you are responsible. Mm-hmm. For your actions. Mm-hmm. You are responsible for yourself. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Just as a side note, don't be playing when you're drunk. Don't be doing that. Don't be doing that. It's in. It's just not a good idea on either side. No. To do so. And I. And I get some people might need that liquid shot of courage to take their clothes off in a dungeon. I get that. Don't. Being a drunk bottom, not good. Not, not good. It can end a lot of bad ways, which include, you know, emotional turmoil, puking, you know, an inability to read your own body to understand, you know, when you've had enough, if you need to color out. And then the same goes for a top. You know, your, your aim is serious. You're seriously impeded. Your ability to read your bottom is, is negatively impacted. I mean, I just, you know, I mean, it's okay to have a couple of drinks beforehand. And then, you know, when you're, when you're sober, all right, do what you do. But drunk, not a good call. No. No. At decision making. Yes. That's what happens. Yes. And I'm not, I'm not, you know, I'm not dissing people that make bad decisions because fuck God, we've all made them. Yeah. But it's just, it's just in general, not a, not a good, good way to go. No. There are places where there is no sex allowed. There's also no nudity allowed in some places where you got to tape up the breasts, the nipples. The nipples. Which if there was like electric tape that were on the nipples on like say little Miss Nancy's nipples, then normally I like play with them and I pull on them and I twist them and I scratch them. But I would just flick them a lot. Flick, flick, flick with the tape over them. Cause that would be kind of torturous, but then I wouldn't be able to see them. And I dislike that. I like the boo-boos. So I have a question. Yes. So let's say you, you do violate one of these. I don't like those. Yeah. Are you like banned forever? Like forever? Well, we put you in the stocks and beat you. No, I'm kidding. Some people are like, yes, that's what I want. No. You can be ejected from a dungeon. And if, and if, uh, it's, it's on a case by case basis, it's not a dungeon by dunder basis. Um, and if, if they believe that the violation was so egregious, you can be banned and asked not to return. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, that's on the table. Yeah. It's there. Uh, you also, uh, not only risk, but almost guarantee, um, the, the shunning of the community. Yeah. So even if you are able to go back to that particular facility, it's usually the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. same crowd of people and word gets around you're gonna get that fuck word gets around bad especially on a bad scene oh yeah word gets i mean you you think the rumor mill is the rumor mill in your neck of the woods you know in a community it's like wow did you hear oh my god it was like what really i missed that oh my god how did i miss that you know yeah and especially if it's bad if it's if it's good you're gonna hear that it was good and that's it if it's bad you're gonna hear nitty gritty details yeah whether they're true or not you're gonna hear them i'm just saying that's the truth yeah so there's a there's a level of accountability in the public play yeah oh yeah yeah absolutely there should be you know and and i i get that that is very intimidating for people why am i away from your whatever um this is very intimidating for people in in the public play arena because they they are held they're accountable and and from both the dominant and and the and the bottom submissive whatever uh you are held accountable and that's it's frightening but it's it's encouraging because it ups your game so yeah just everybody has to be aware of it there are there are also dungeons that prohibit um particular types of play yes such as breath play yes um for those that are unfamiliar with what this is um you know most people are familiar with the term autoerotic asphyxiation which is you know which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which around like one okay well there's a kink for that oh my god can you i would like me walk play i would dress me up with a little little uh little butt flap where you can just easy access bend you over like wow i hadn't thought about it that far oh oops i was just thinking looking cute in my little furry outfit yeah i'm thinking of raping ewoks now shave that bitch first though but yeah now on to things that are not involving the raping of ewoks or chewbacca so um with the dungeon policies it's a good it's definitely a good idea to familiarize yourself with them i mean it's not like you have to commit them to memory but you know there's usually the big ones that you should keep in mind some of them are just more common sense ones you know like hey how about you don't pick fights or not interrupt or whatever the i don't know right um but it's always a good idea if you're in a new facility so just check it out ask questions again there are almost always no not even almost there are always the rules posted so you can know um but but beyond just the hard policies of what are the limits with what you are not allowed to do in a facility there are ones where you should notify the dm or the facility if you were if you're going to engage in a particular kind of situation and you're not going to make sure that they know which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which around and think that they own all submissives yeah those yes we might be familiar of those which would go into like you know not touching and just because they're a sub doesn't mean yeah you can go those are the uber the uber doms are the ones that for some reason this this this idea escapes them yeah like the rules are beneath them well it's a it's a lack of awareness and to me that just means that they're they are not a self-aware person um and and i i take it down to there's a level of fear it's as if they admit that they have these multiple dimensions these vulnerabilities these these whatever that it it shows the chinks in their armor and therefore they can become vulnerable and less domly which is bullshit because um being a whole person and being open to the multitudes of what you are as a human being is what makes you either the whole complete dom or the whole complete submissive in my opinion and i mean it's also a healthy thing to do but i think it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a thing but there's there's a lot of fear you know in in presenting the right presentation of self so yeah that's what i when i see an uber dom i just think it's a scared boy or girl kind of like someone who's narcissistic and it's the simple fact that they are so insecure about stuff yeah but narcissists are a little bit different because they they have a a lack of um they they don't they can't even they don't even know they wouldn't even have an ability to be aware that they are being narcissistic that's like narcissistic personality disorder that's that's different no no i just mean along the same lines that they're the lack of awareness of maybe not knowing that these rules exist for them and things like that yeah yeah i agree yeah um dungeon monitors yes is that like a safety monitor yes yes as a matter of fact yes or as we like to call them dungeon masters yeah because otherwise it's a hall monitor and i think spongebob and that's just not where i want to go when i'm thinking of a dungeon no no no don't do that i can't dress you up like spongebob don't do that hard limit yes hard limit oh dear darn no um so these people they're they're they they are they are the it is important to identify who's who and usually may be the person who greets you at the entrance. The person who, if you're not a member of that facility, they ask you to sign a confidentiality form or release form, whatever the fuck. And they can provide clarification on whatever the policies are. Or if you have a concern about whatever's going on, they're the person that you should be able to go to for assistance. Additionally, a dungeon master can interrupt your scene. If you are doing something unsafe or there are questions about the consent, if there are issues, concerns, a DM can absolutely interrupt your scene. Which, by the way, would fucking suck. I mean, there's nothing like feeling like mom or dad just pulled me out. Caller. Oh. Hello? Is it Mad Time Radio? Hello? Hello. Hi. Hello, caller. Hi. Hi. How are you? Good, how are you? How are you? Good, good. I'm calling. Yes. Because I was listening. Fantastic. And you guys are talking a lot about dungeon etiquette and things to do in a dungeon, things not to do in a dungeon. You know, I have never been to a dungeon. So I... I mean, now, if I would ever go, I would know the etiquette of what to do and what not to do. But I guess, how does one get to a dungeon? Like an invitation? Well, I mean... I mean, because, you know, it's kind of like, what is it, eyes wide shut. You know, you don't get it. No. I'm not going to bribe the, you know, the bartender to be like, hey, how do I get an invitation to one of these parties? They show up randomly. Most of the dungeons have a presence on FetLife. Okay. And post all of their parties in your local area. And then you can decide which one you want to go to because there are often themed parties. When I mean themed, there's, you know, a femdom themed party. There's a male dom themed party. There's, you know, whatever it is. So that you could go to whatever evening that you feel most comfortable, especially if it's your first time. And then, like, I could just, like, like, if I go, do I have to participate? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I don't. I did not participate the first time I went to a dungeon. Neither did I. Okay. And then for a non-participant, what kind of attire should I wear? Anything you want. Anything. Jeans and t-shirt, chucks, fetish wear. Nothing? Yeah, you can wear nothing too, but generally that's what the submissives wear that are going to be beat. But, yeah, I mean, it's, there are some, there are some, some dungeons that specify a dress code. But, you know, you can, I've never seen anybody turned away. But, yeah, you can wear whatever you want, really. Okay, so I can, I wouldn't just, you know, jump out of my car and be like, I'm going to beat some ass. That, that would be frowned upon. I mean, it would be funny. It would be funny. As long as you didn't actually start beating some ass non-consensually. But that would be part of the etiquette and know your role and don't get out of the cars yelling and screaming at the top of your lungs. Again, uber dumb that walks in and thinks they own the place. Uber dumb, uber dumb. Yeah. I feel there needs to be a theme song for that now. Yeah, I mean. And then also, is it, there, is there like, are there like hors d'oeuvres there? Or should I, you know, is there like a vending machine? Or is it, yeah. Almost all of them, there is, there are some snickety snackities and beverages, non-alcoholic of some sort. Yeah. At all of them. Most of them have, there's a, there's a lot of coffee that is drunk in, in this lifestyle community. Cause you know, there's a, there's a lot of late nights. A lot of late nights. All I have to say is those cookies were bomb. The day I went, I was like, oh my God, another one. You know? Okay. So yeah, no, yeah. The treats. There are snacks and stuff. Absolutely. Yes, there are. And, and a lot of that has to do with, you know, after like a heavy, heavy scene, sometimes having some, some sugar nourishments, whatever in your system is a good thing. And then water obviously is very good. So yeah, they have all of those there. And it's, it's all a part of your, your price of admission. Yeah. And then another question, are these events, are these dungeons in like buildings? Are they in like basements? Or are they in like, like business establishments? It depends. It depends. There's out here, there's, there's one that's in a strip mall. There's one that's, it just looks like a, it looks like, it looks like nothing from the streets. And then you walk in and it looks like it's an old converted house. There's a, there's a, it looks like a, a very large open, what once might've been a storage area that's been converted to this beautiful space. There's, you know, and then there's other ones that are in other areas that are, again, they're, they're industrial spaces that have a large areas where there's equipment and stuff. So it just depends. Mostly it's industrial. And then also another question, is there news, is there like news, because I know there's, there's a club and there used to be, so I don't know. I knew the, the girl who promoted it and put it on. Hello. You still there? Well, well, to answer your question, there is, there's always music. Yeah. And, and there was a, there's somewhere, it's a large space. And so they, they, they play the music in the large space and it's all, it's all whatever is on the playlist. And yeah, it's usually music that is conducive to, to beating just, just what it is. Yeah. And then there's also, there's a facility out here at least that has separate rooms. And in each room you can either turn in the music that is being pumped into the larger area, or you can plug in your own iPod or whatever to have your own individual music, which is awesome. Yeah. Which is what we got to experience this weekend. You get to plug in like your own playlist and who makes the playlist? Does the sub or the Dom make the playlist? I would the Dom. Or unless you're a, unless the Dom has tasked the sub, but I'm one of those, like I want to make my own playlist. Yeah. Yeah. Having you beat me to, to the rhythm of Mozart was, that was impressive. Yes. We're going to do some Beethoven. Dun, dun, dun, dun. That would be awesome. Yeah. We have another caller. Hello? Hello. Are you our last caller? I don't know what happened there. I don't know. There you are. Okay, great. So go on. We, I think we, we tried to answer your question, but we didn't hear all of it. Yeah. No. What music is conducive to beating? That is. I mean, you know, I could, you know, Rammstein or Nitzereb, you know, I mean. That, those are there. And, and sometimes there's. Some people might consider that, you know, beating music. Yes. It, it really depends on whoever's putting the music together. Sometimes there's, you know, some Nitzereb, Rammstein, Metallica. Sometimes there's like more of the dance beat, techno. Sometimes there's, it's usually pretty edgy. It's got a good rhythm. One night we were at an 80s party. There's a lot of 80s music. Of course, this one night we were not at an 80s party and there was a lot of 80s music. So it just, it depends on who's putting the music on, but it's, it's usually very rhythmic. And you know, if you don't dig it, you don't dig it. I mean, that's just the way it goes. But when you're playing, you generally tune it out because you get kind of focused on what you're doing. Hopefully, if it's, especially if it's crappy music. Which happens. It does happen. Yeah. And then if I, let's say I went to a couple of dungeons and I was feeling like, all right, I want to do this. How does one get started into participating? Do I have to like notify the dungeon master, manager, the gym person? Dungeon master. And no, you don't. No, you don't. I mean, if you have a play partner already, then you just get a free piece of equipment and you go and do your thing with whatever. Wait, what do you mean free piece of equipment? Just like what they, does the house have the equipment? Like a. A little bit. It's all set up. So there are different things like there are St. Andrew's crosses, there's stocks, there's spanking benches, there's. There's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of, there's tables, there's, I mean, there's a lot of stuff. There's cages. There's cages. It just depends on what kind of thing you want to do with the person. And then if the equipment is not being used, then you procure it in its location and clean it and do your thing. If you have a partner, if you don't have a partner, then obviously there's a. There's a whole different thing for finding a partner. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you mean by clean it, should I take like Clorox wipes with me as I go? They have, they have everything there. The dungeons will have. Cleaning stations. Yes. They have cleaning stations and they're very easy to locate. And so they'll have the supplies there for you to clean. Yeah. The spray bottles with either rubbing alcohol or Matticide and then paper towels for you to wipe them off with. And often also they do have Lysol or Clorox wipes as well. Mm-hmm. Oh. And then, yeah, I think that's all my. My questions. Yeah. I mean, I really, I encourage you to, to finding a dungeon and just going in and watching because it'll, it'll take away any fears or concerns you may have. It'll just, it'll make it seem very good. And then seek out people and ask questions because, you know, we all like answering questions. It's just what people in this community do. And especially eager people that are interested and curious. It's, it's always nice and refreshing. So that's, that's how we all started, you know. No, like I'd be down to go to, just to go check it out, to see, I'm not necessarily opposed to it. But I don't know enough about it to be super gung ho. But I'm down to go. I'm down to check it out, to learn more and to understand. Fantastic. So from what you're saying, it seems like a lot of the mistresses, the sirs, the doms are a lot about educating newbies. Like if you have a question, a lot of you are approachable. Definitely the ones that I associate with. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like it's a group education. Yes. Mm-hmm. It's a group betterment. Yeah. I think from my experience, my experience, I've only experienced one mistress, Mistress Kitty, I think her name is. I don't know. There's a lot. Yeah. There's like tons, 100,000 out there in the world. She was nice and she was cool, but she had this sort of it was kind of a demeanor. Like she was nice. She was nice because I knew her, but not to be mean, she looked like a bitch. I wouldn't necessarily be like, if I saw her on the street, I wouldn't fucking talk to her. She looked like a bitch. Some of us are into that. Some of us are into the women that look like bitches or act like bitches. I can totally understand, but when you're new, when you're like a fresh fish. Yeah. Absolutely. It's like, it's like you're not going to ask the bitch what time it is because she looks like she's going to tell me to fuck off. You'd be surprised. You know, it's funny that you say this because with Mightful Sinners mentor, I had that very similar kind of feeling. She's a big bad dog. She's a, oh my God. She's a big bad dog. She's a big bad dog. And she's a big motherfucking deal. Yeah. And so I was always very apprehensive about, you know, even fucking looking at her. I didn't want to, I didn't want to lock eyes with her. I thought, fuck, she's going to kill me. And it's strange because you- She's so teeny tiny though. He is actually very teeny tiny. But you, when you are, when you go regularly, you become a familiar face. People start talking to you like you're, everybody is a regular person. Everyone's normal. Aside from these titles and these roles that we all play in this kinky community, we're all normal people. We're all sociable. Yeah. So if you make yourself a regular face to someone- I think sociable is a little better than normal. Let's say normally within the community. Let's put it that way. Yes. Yes. But I guess what I'm trying to say is you make yourself a pretty regular face, pretty soon you start to make friends, you know, and people don't always have that bitch demeanor. It may be part of who their dom persona is, who they want to, I don't know. Portray, you know? Yeah. Well, and also there's a fine line between bitch persona and intimidating. And there are just some that are just so intimidating. You're like, wow, that person intimidates me. On whatever level. It could be their experience, their education, their demeanor, their skill set, their submissives, their dominance, whoever it is. And that's, I think that what I encountered when I first came into the community was that intimidation factor. For me as a dominant, it was one of those situations where I looked at people and thought, well, I'm never going to be cool like that. You know, I'm never going to, whatever. It just, I made assumptions about myself as a, as a relationally to them. So once you get over that, this intimidation factor that they're just people and everybody starts somewhere, everybody, you know, it, it, it makes it a little bit easier and a lot of times. 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 it's a kinky get together. It's a kinky get together in a vanilla location. So like at a restaurant, munches where you can get together and meet people and just chit chat. Or sometimes there's a learning opportunity there. I highly recommend munches so you can meet people not in the dungeon world, but a munch is so different from a dungeon, the vibe. I encourage both. But I can say that after I went to my first dungeon, and that was, it's like, I guess the first time if you are into heroin, like the first time you do heroin, which I'm not, but where it's like, oh, wow, I got a taste of this. I really like the way this feels. And then you kind of want to, whereas my first munch, which was like, oh, I feel comfortable here and I feel welcome. I feel as if this is a place I belong, but it's obviously very watered down. So, I mean, they're just different levels. My question was for like someone who's just like learning. And I would say go to both. Just go to both? Go to both. Go to both. Jump in and then get educated at the same time. Yeah, I mean, and again, speaking to what the caller had asked, you don't have to participate. You don't have to speak at a munch. You don't have to participate at a dungeon. You can sit and be a wallflower and just watch the entire thing and absorb and just allow it to fill your mind and then sort through it as you are comfortable and then determine, do you want to come back? Is this something that you really, really willing and able to embrace? Between the time that, the first time that I went to a dungeon and the first time that I played, that was months. It was months. It was not something where I went the first time, I went the second time and then, okay, the third time I'm going to find somebody to play with. That did not happen. I was very comfortable just watching and it kind of gives you this idea of what it's supposed to be like versus, you know, what you're, what your preconceived notions were about it. It's an exercise in patience. It's recon. Yes. And then let's say I do go to a dungeon and I have questions. Who do I ask? Do I say, oh, you know, excuse me. I'm guessing Mr. or Mrs. or person submissive. This is question XYZ or do I look for somebody to ask or do I just reserve my questions to one person? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. You can always go, if there are questions about the facility or whatever, you can always go to the people who took your money in the front. That's always a safe place. If you have questions about a specific scene, something that you saw, you know, obviously wait for the scene to be completed and then go to the dominant and ask. If you would like to speak with their submissive, go to the dominant and ask if you may speak with their submissive. Obviously introduce yourself, et cetera, but yeah. And then will the submissive be like, will the submissive tell me, oh, you should talk to my dom or are they just going to completely, ignore me or, because I'm going to be looking like, you know, normal Joe or yeah, normal Joe, Sabine or Joe. We'll use Joe as a universal gender. Generally, if you go to a submissive and they're not allowed to speak to somebody without permission, they, you know, they can say, you need to ask my mistress, my master, whatever. They'll let you know. They'll let you know. That is their responsibility. And it depends on the level of protocol. It depends on the relationship they have with their dominant. What I have, I've had situations where I, you know, I remember this. One of my, one of my social gaffes is I am, I spoke to a submissive and her dominant was sitting right next to her. And he just said, she's not allowed to speak. And I just said, oh, my apologies. And I went to him and it's, you know, whatever. That is not the end of the world, but yeah, you'll learn. It's no big, nobody brands you. Yeah. Unless you want to. That's what I was going to say. I was like, I have heard of branding. Branding does happen. Don't want anybody to set me on fire or anything. You'd be surprised how pleasurable that is. It is a nice thing to be set on fire. My first time ever going to a dungeon, I saw someone be set on fire. Actually, two people be set on fire. And I was like, can I be next? I raised my hand. I would like to volunteer. Everybody I've set on fire has said it is a very relaxing experience. It tickles. Didn't you say it was like a massage? It tickled me. I think you said that. It's a little bit like a massage. It's very warm. Very warm. And there's a lot of hands. Yeah. A lot of touching. So you might want to be set on fire. And then when you set people on fire, is there like, you know, I could only guess that you've been training an expert. You've become an expert in this. Yeah. Is there like, you know, a fire extinguisher? Yes. Yes. Yes. There's a fire extinguisher. But even beyond, because of the way that I was taught, I also have additional safety precautions. Oh, okay. Yeah. Has anything ever gone wrong when you've set people on fire? One time a torch fell and I had to throw one of my wet towels down on it. But because I have my extra wet towels, my little extra safety precautions triumphed. But yeah, I mean, shit happens. But that's why we don't light people on our fucking beds. We don't do that, people. Don't light people on your beds. Nope. Yeah. What do you do it in the boat? Do you light people in the bathroom? I've lit people on hardwood floor in my home. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think that's all my questions. You can always hit any of us up on Twitter if you have questions. And then what are your Twitter names? I'm SmitefulSinner, all one word. I am NoviceNancy. Novice underscore Nancy. Yes. And I'm Dr. Underscore Rozzy. So we are available for questions, comments, or concerns. What if I'm not hip enough to own a Twitter account? Well. What do I do? Well, then you can also like the Love Bytes on Facebook. And we also have our own accounts on Facebook. Yes, we do. And then you can also, say for instance, you wanted to hear yourself talking. Once this episode is available on iTunes, you can go and you can comment. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? On top of that, you can also email the studio, info at skidrowstudios.com, and the message will get to us. And then if other people wanted to call in and had such intriguing questions of mine, what number would they call? I'm so glad you asked. 1-800-893-9562 to speak to us. What was that one more time? 1-800-893-9562. Wow. You guys are great. Why, thank you. Thank you very much. All right. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Well, then. I don't know who that was. That was awesome. That was awesome. So there's that. I think we covered a whole lot. Yes. We covered a whole lot. We did. Aren't you glad you didn't have a long outline? Because we've gone over now. Yes. Without a long outline. No, but see, that's the thing. That was the beauty of the outline. Is that it ensured that there was a definitive. No? Okay. No. Did she miss all the sidebars we had? Was she not here for those? I don't think so. She might have checked out. A lot of sidebars. Yeah. You'll have to listen back. When it is posted on the iTunes, on the Stitcher, then yes. You'll have to listen to all of the sidebars. Yes. A lot of breasts to talk. A lot of breasts. Stupid boobs. Boobies. Boobies. Boobies. So, yes. So, we'll be back next week. Yes? Yes? Next week. Yes. We'll be back next week. Don't know what the topic is yet. But all of those communication devices that we mentioned, if you have suggestions, if there's topics you want to hear about, let us know. We are open to suggestions. Please. We like talking about our kink. We like getting our kink on, too. Why do you look like you're using a strap-on? Am I right? Nancy is infamous for humping just the air. I so want to videotape this. No, don't do that. Upload it to one of the Facebook, the Twitters. Have a video on iTunes. Oh, dear God. The first time we did this show, she was, she humped the, I think, the table, the air. It was easier then, though, because the chairs were on, like, concrete or whatever, so they rolled and it totally aided me in my humping of whatever the fuck it was that I was humping. No, it's not so. I'm just saying that if you are going to hump air or other, you should get out of the chair. I'm just saying. This is what I'm saying. You just want to take a picture is what it is. I said video. Or video, whatever. It's to promote the love bite. You got to take one for the team. Take one for the team. You guys are assholes, respectfully. Well done. I think we're ready to wrap up. I think that we've stayed. We're over. Yes. Thank you, Joel, for being so patient. Thank you, Joel, for fixing all of our issues. Yes. You are a good man. All right. Have a good night, everyone. Have a good night. See you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. high street you've got the attraction you've got the blink out walk my little doggy walk my little we can make a scene making the headline sounds like a dream when we hit the floor you just watch them we will take them for a ride all right they all love your you know what they say about you sex i'm in my roll toys looking so huge big and it's cold with my dumb chauffeur looking to procure a little doggy lure a disco dolly run my little sex dwarf i feel so lonely get my little camera take a pretty picture sex dwarf in a gold roll making it with the baby Sex, war, birds and ice Lowering disco dollars to a life of mice Sex, war, birds and ice Sex, war, birds and ice Sex, war, birds and ice We can make an outfit for my little sex dwarf To match the gold rolls on my dumb chauffeur We'll all look so good, we'll knock them cold Knocking them cold in black hair clothes We can have pleasure Playtime in my little playroom Disco Dollies My sex dwarf and my dumb chauffeur I would like you on a long black lead You can bring me all the things I need Sex, war, it's midnight Lowering disco dollars to a life of mice Sex, war, isn't it nice Lowering disco dollars To a life of mice To a life of baby To a baby To baby To baby To baby To baby To baby To baby To baby To baby To baby To baby To baby Sex rules Sex rules Sex rules Isn't it nice Learning disco dollies to a life of ice Sex rules Isn't it nice Learning disco dollies to a life of ice In front of me nice Shoulder and spice Learning disco dollies to a life of ice Sex rules Isn't it nice Learning disco dollies to a life of ice Sex rules Isn't it nice Learning disco dollies to a life of ice In front of me nice Shoulder and spice Learning disco dollies to a life of ice Sex rules Sex rules Sex rules Sex rules I'm down for the world, I'm down for the world It's like the world is a hit now It's like the world is a hit now