📄 Transcript [show]
I almost missed my titty juggling there.
I am Ginger Lynn.
You are listening to Blame It On Ginger right here, right now with me, Ginger Lynn and...
Nina Hartley, the one, the only.
That's right, the one, the only.
And...
Stevie!
We're going to do things a little bit differently today.
Going to start the show off in a different way.
I'll tell you right up front, I'm a little bit vulnerable today.
And, okay, I've been in the news.
I've been in the news a lot lately, and it seems to be, it doesn't seem to be, it is whenever Charlie Sheen gets in the news, my name comes up, and our relationship, we have not seen each other in 18 years.
Seriously?
Seriously.
It's been 18 years, so it's been a really long time.
But whenever things come up, you know, I'm not a big follow the news and the gossip and the whole thing.
It's not really my deal.
Not that I don't care, but I don't really care.
It's low on your priorities.
It's number 10 on the list.
It's way down there in my list of priorities.
But what's happened in the last week or so is Charlie's announced he's getting married to a porn star.
And the headlines that I read that came out were Ginger Lynn, Charlie's original sin, and things that sparked my interest so that I looked at some of the things.
Radar Online had a big story and a lot of the other UK things and a lot of things in America.
And what happened?
What came out was back in the early 90s, sometime in the 90s, I'm not quite sure, but I know it was the early 90s.
There was a point in time where I was facing six years in prison.
And I'm going to go back to that story and just give you a little recap.
Basically, what happened was in 1986, I was asked to testify against Tracy Lourdes on her behalf against 64 adult film.
And I refused.
So they said, if you don't testify, we're going to make your life difficult.
And it went from the D.A.
to the U.S.
attorney coming in.
So what I did was I went and I said, you know, you know, I'm not going to do it.
They said, we'll make your life difficult.
So I agreed to testify.
And when I got in front of the grand jury, I'm blonde.
And you're all alone.
You don't get to have a lawyer in the grand jury room.
No.
Just you.
But what happens is not only was I all by myself, but I was I have a really bad memory.
I have this head that's only so big and it's full.
My head is full, full, full.
There's very little room.
And if I put something in there, something else has to be removed.
So when I went before the grand jury, I didn't remember nothing.
I just.
And they thought you were and they thought you were just being disrespectful.
Well, they were showing me pictures of people.
And I'm like.
I.
You know what?
I know Nina Hartley.
I.
You know, you may have another name.
I know Nina Hartley.
So they were saying, do you know Joe Blow?
And I'm like, no, that kind of looks like, you know.
George.
George Jones.
Oh, no, not really.
George Jones.
But you know what I mean?
So I really didn't have a good grasp.
And in the adult film industry, it's very common for people to have one, two, three, four or five different names.
Right.
And so they would say, do you know this person?
As this person and blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I didn't.
So five years later, I get a knock on my door.
And it is somebody.
Big bad people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they said, we're looking for Ginger Lynn.
And my first response, swear to God, was.
I'm sorry, you must be looking for Amber Lynn.
They couldn't.
I said it because I didn't do any.
I've never.
I don't even have a fucking parking ticket.
It's five years later.
A lot of water under the bridge.
Years later.
And I'm a pretty good girl when it comes down to it.
So it turns out they were looking for me.
And they decided that since I refused to testify against all of these adult film producers, they were going to go after me.
And they had been investigating me for over a year.
A man by the name of Joe Walsh.
I know.
Was investigating.
He read every.
He was paid over $100,000 to read every interview I ever did.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Look at every magazine layout every day.
This poor guy had the best life ever.
He had two years to investigate Ginger Lynn and read all my articles, all my shows.
And see all your movies.
And see all my movies.
And they decided that they couldn't charge me with tax evasion because I'd paid my taxes.
So it came down to $2,087.04 that they claimed blah, blah, blah.
It doesn't really matter.
I was facing six years in federal.
For two grand?
For $2,087.04.
Oh, that's a bit trumped up.
I was facing six years.
So the letters that came out in the recent past were written.
And I didn't.
I knew that Martin Sheen had written a letter to the judge on my behalf.
I didn't read it.
I did not know that Charlie Sheen had written a letter.
So both of these letters were discovered in the last week by a private investigator.
And my boyfriend, I came home from work.
And Nick has been my man for nearly six years.
We're a tight, fabulous, amazing couple.
And Nick read these letters to me.
And they were so touching, so wonderful, so sweet.
That I just felt because I've done radio for over 12 years.
And I've done other people's shows where I've been interviewed.
And I've spoken a little bit.
I thought, you know what?
This is time for me on my show, on Blame It On Ginger, to have the opportunity to share my Charlie Sheen stories.
And keep in mind that I know Charlie 18 years ago up to 23 years ago.
Our relationship was a long, long time ago.
And so the only basis I have to say anything about him whatsoever are based upon my experiences with Charlie.
And I can start by telling you before we get to maybe we can, you know, the letters are there.
But you know what?
Do you want to, is there anything in the letters that stood out to you?
There was actually a lot.
There, the fun thing is, the fun thing is.
Oh, where'd it go?
There it is.
What was striking to me about the letters from Martin and Charlie Sheen were how closely they line up with my experience of you, starting from the first time I met you.
And both letters are, you know, hello.
I'm so-and-so.
Here's, I'm writing on behalf of Ginger Lynn.
And here's, here's my experience of this person.
And both letters talk a lot about your warmth, your genuineness, your, your kindness, your compassion, your, your just decent human beingness.
And it's like, oh my God, that's my experience of her.
But, you know.
And that's what means the most to me.
That, you know, I'm going to cut you off for one quick second here.
You know, when you're reading your, your Twitter, your tweets, some people write things and there are a thousand things that stand out that are good.
And then there's one bad thing and that's what sticks in your mind.
Well, what happened here that I was not expecting is, I'm used to getting that one bad thing.
No bad things in these letters.
And what I noticed here, these were two letters written by two people, by Martin Sheen, by Charlie Sheen, who knew me for years.
And they said really nice things about me.
And rather than me going, fuck that.
When I'm pissed off because somebody wrote something nasty.
What happened is it put me into a whole different space.
It put me into a whole different place of vulnerability.
Because here are two people who knew me very well, who wrote nice things.
And it, it wasn't where I got all uppity riled up, but it put me into a very sensitive, vulnerable.
I'm not the, the, the feisty ginger right now going, fuck this, fuck that.
No, it's more like, oh my God.
These are people that have known me.
And this is their, their opinion of me.
And what struck me the most was when Nick was reading these letters, my man, the man that I'm in love with, he was like, you know what ginger, this is the girl that I know.
This is the girl that, that, that I've known since I met her.
And this is the same girl, 20 years ago, these letters were written.
And so for you to say the same thing, it it's, it's almost, it's not bad.
Like reading that nasty letter.
It's.
It's, it's sensitive because somebody said something nice about me and, and whenever it comes to the media or the press, and especially when it deals with Charlie, Charlie Sheen and myself, ginger Lynn, um, people will tend to look at the negative and these are positive.
And the press has been extremely, um, kind and, and caring.
And so I, I wanted to share a little bit about, um, what they said and then go into.
My experiences with Charlie Sheen.
Oh, we'll certainly do that.
But she called you one of the true loves of his life.
The, oh, the one true love of his life, uh, which is pretty amazing because, um, it was a long time ago.
And it is interesting to know that you can be a part of someone's life for a period of time and, and have that lasting effect.
Cause I think, um, as much as you did love Charlie, you might say that Nick is probably the love of your life.
Nick is definitely the love of my life.
Charlie was my first true love.
The first person that I could talk on the phone with for eight hours.
The first person that, that a kiss lasted longer than, than just a kiss.
The first person that, that I felt I connected to in a special way.
And who could meet you sexually.
And, and that could meet me sexually.
Now I'd had many, many relationships before that many boyfriends before that.
And I had my puppy love and I had my, my, you know, different boyfriends that I'd been with.
But this was the first time that I was with somebody that I would literally have died for.
Right.
If it came down to it.
Now I would take a bullet for my boyfriend today.
I would take a bullet for my son in a heartbeat, you know, but this was the first person that it was that important to me.
And so I will consider it my first honest to goodness, true love.
And how.
And think about how special for him, because one thing that makes, you know, you and me special is that we are pretty much the same on camera and off camera.
We are not, we don't, we don't have a persona.
There's no persona that we put out there.
Because it's so exhausting.
You can't, you can't, you can't do it.
Drive you insane.
It's hard not being me.
Me, thank you.
And so think about, and you and I have had partners where our, our willingness to go, okay, sure.
Either excites them terribly, frightens them immensely, turns them on or freaks them out.
And so that for you to find someone.
Who, for whom your sexual nature was, oh my God, really another one of me.
Oh my God.
I didn't think you existed.
That must've been so incredible.
The sex must have been amazing.
It, you know, the sex.
Exciting in terms of just really lots of fun.
It was, it was amazing in a very normal way.
Now I think that with, with all.
Hot vanilla.
It was hot vanilla.
Yeah.
Charlie's favorite position was, was missionary.
And, and it was, that was.
99% of the time, you know, there were days that.
It's a good position.
Um, it's, it's a great position.
But there were days where let's say there was, there was a Cincinnati Reds game on and I would see.
Some lap dancing.
No, how many blow jobs I could give him during a game.
Awesome.
I would go, okay.
His ultimate girlfriend.
And, and my, my biggest day was six orgasms I gave him blowing him and he was just watching the game.
Awesome.
And I just.
But for the most part, I mean, he was very attentive.
He was a good lover.
He was a good lover.
He was a.
A.
Sounds adventuresome and, and enthusiastic.
He was enthusiastic, but not necessarily venture adventure, adventuresome.
He was just a very passionate one on one lover for the most part.
Got it.
But before I go into.
Yes.
The other.
Less than the most part.
I have a question about something.
Well, I want to say one little thing.
I want to just talk about how we met.
Oh yes, please.
And the first time that we actually, that I realized that it was more than a fling.
I was working on the set of young guns too.
I had been cast as a quote unquote dove.
Now a dove at the time.
Stevie, can we get a pen please?
A dove was basically a, a, a hooker back in the.
Yes.
The day.
In, in, in the, the cowboys and Indians days.
Yeah, as a soiled dove.
And I was cast in the film.
I worked for three weeks on it.
Charlie was not.
I know.
If you watch the movie.
You're never maybe like.
Thank you.
No, it's, it's I, my head turns and I smile.
That's it.
I know.
I know.
All of the great scenes where I'm being chased down the stairs and run out and ski for Sutherland.
Yeah.
Steals Lou Diamond's films watch or somebody, somebody steals somebody something and we'll run out of town and I fall down the stairs and there's all these great things.
Those are all gone from the film.
Oh damn.
I hate it when they do that.
But Charlie and I, our very first, we, when we met, we were actually in the lobby of the hotel and there were all of these different people around and Charlie sat, I was on the sofa and he sat on the, the arm of the sofa and he was talking to me and he was charming.
He was sweet and he was kind, but I still had the back in the back of my mind.
This is Charlie Sheen.
So that was the first actual meeting.
Now I had known that he was, no, I lie.
Oh, you lie.
That's not the first meeting.
Oh.
No, that was the first, that was the first face to space meeting.
But the way we actually met was not a good thing.
So now keep in mind there's Kiefer Sutherland, there's Balthazar Getty, there is Lou Diamond Phillips, there's William Peterson.
Nice party.
You've got an amazing cast on this film.
And the night before we had all gone out to a strip club.
So and we drank a lot.
So here I am in my hotel room.
We have little, little bungalow type of things.
And the door, there's the bathroom and the doorway is directly on the side of the bathroom.
The bathroom has a window.
So I'm in the bathroom and I'm hurling.
Oh, honey.
I drank way too much, much more than I should have.
And I hear a knock on the door.
We were sharing rooms and my girlfriend opened the door and she said, who is it?
And he goes, it's Charlie Sheen.
I'm here to meet Ginger Lynn.
Oh my God.
And I'm like, oh my God.
The window is maybe six inches from his head.
Now there's a screen there.
I can hear his voice and I'm thinking, oh my God.
Oh my God.
He can, I'm.
Okay.
So I'm not, if it were the first impression and I know he had to hear it, I know he had to hear it.
And my friend Alexis, she was so sweet.
She goes, she's indisposed at the moment, but I will have her get back to you.
So we actually met later in the hotel lobby.
Got it.
Got it.
That was our first meeting where he was charming and warm and wonderful.
Asked me out.
And in my head I was thinking he just wants to meet me.
M-E-A-T.
Not meet me.
And so I blew him a note.
M-E-A-T is what I thought.
So I kind of blew it off and it took him, that was the beginning of February and the day that I decided that I would actually go out with him, I decided I would do it in a group setting.
So we had the, all the party people on the set, everybody, we got in different cars and we all met at a strip club.
And I think the moment that Charlie realized that I was the kind of girl that he liked is we were all sitting there and Charlie's looking at different girls and I'm looking at different girls and I'm noticing we're looking at the same girl.
Awesome.
That's very important.
And so I buy him a lap dance.
Oh, you're so smart.
And I pick out the girl and I buy him a lap dance and that was kind of our breaking the ice.
So we went back to my room that night.
No, we went back to his.
No, we went back to his room and he was engaged to someone else at the time.
He was engaged to Kelly Preston and I remember him rolling over and taking his engagement ring off, which...
A man engagement ring?
He had, that's pretty forward of him.
He was wearing one.
Wow.
And I've always had this thing.
I really, really, really, really don't...
Don't like being that girl. ...being, want to be that girl.
And I've never, I've got out of my way to be that girl.
And he took the ring off and somehow that was a sign to me that it was going to be a little bit more.
We had the best sex ever that night.
We just stayed in bed all night long.
It was all wonderful.
It was all fantastic.
And I finished filming on the set and about, that was February Valentine's Day.
This was 86-ish?
This was, no, this was 1990.
Okay.
1990.
And that was in February of 1990.
So March, there was St. Patrick's Day, so which is right around the corner.
And one of his friends was getting engaged.
And he said to me, can you get me some girls?
Some girls for his bachelor party.
And at the time I had just been up to San Francisco dancing at the Century.
And so I'd met all these great girls.
I made a phone call and I got probably a dozen girls from the new Century.
Oh my God.
To fly, Charlie flew everybody from either San Francisco or Los Angeles over to Las Vegas.
And we had this big, wonderful, amazing party.
And I remember I had brought these giant tarps.
These plastic tarps.
And I bought a dozen bottles of baby oil and a bunch of dildos.
Now remember, this is not long after the Bruce Seven Days.
Yes, yes, yes.
So I'm thinking if I just put a tarp down and I get all these girls on the floor, a bunch of dildos, a bunch of baby oil, it's all going to be great.
It's going to be a great show.
And Charlie pulls me aside and he goes, are you going to join in?
And I said, no, I didn't plan on it.
And he goes, good, because I really dig you.
And it was such a weird thing to say.
I really dig you.
And I knew at that point there was a little bit more to it.
And he said, well, I'm really glad to hear that because I broke off my engagement with Kelly Preston.
Oh, my goodness.
So it was within a month of meeting each other that he broke off his engagement.
And we were together from that moment on, consistently for almost two years and then another three years off and on.
Wow.
Wow.
So that's how I knew that it was more than just a fling.
And more than just he's just, you know, getting his ya-ya's by doing banging a porno chick.
Oh, yeah, Ginger Lynn.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
So, oh, do tell me about the Cannes Film Festival, would you please?
The Cannes Film Festival.
Charlie and I had broken up.
We had, we had this agreement in our relationship where I knew he was sleeping with other women.
And the only rule was that I didn't know about it.
I didn't want it thrown in my face.
I didn't want him to tell me.
You know, it was an open relationship where...
Ask but don't tell.
Ask but don't tell, except on my part.
Don't ask, don't tell.
Don't ask, don't tell.
And I slept with other women.
I brought many of my girlfriends over.
We had many, many three ways.
But I was monogamous with him and he was sleeping with other women, as long as it wasn't thrown in my face.
Well, I had this girlfriend who had a job at an ad agency.
And...
Yeah.
And she called me up.
She goes, do you know that Charlie just came and picked up so and so?
She's sleeping with him today.
And it was just one of those and I'm like, you picked her up at the office, you motherfucker.
Right.
And I had a fit.
And so we had a little bit of a breakup.
And I remember it was the night of the riots in Los Angeles.
Sure.
And I was flying...
92.
92.
I was flying out of Los Angeles to Minneapolis to film this movie.
And I was like, I'm gonna go to Los Angeles.
And I just kind of had had it.
And I felt that things had gone...
I want to be respected.
Yeah.
And I don't want to be embarrassed.
So I flew to do my film, came back, had Charlie burning everything that he owns party, everything that he'd given me party, like his poster from this and that.
I just burned it all and I was done with it.
But I wasn't done.
It was just I was angry and I was hurt.
You know that, you know, your man's cheating on you and it's public.
Public.
Yeah.
So I flew.
I flew back from Los Angeles.
And I was getting ready.
I had a film coming out called Bound and Gagged to Love Stories.
So I flew to Cannes for the film festival.
And it was one of those things where I was on the beach, signing autographs or not signing autographs, doing a big press junket.
Charlie was down at the beach in another area.
And we both heard that the other one was there.
And there's one of those slow-mo things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we both heard that the other one was there.
And it was one of those slow motion things.
Oh no!
Where you're on the beach and it's like the commercial where you're running and running and running.
And we ran up and we met each other on the beach.
And then I went to his next press conference.
And we ended up spending the entire week together.
And I remember I was in a hotel elevator with Charlie.
And I had, when he was working on The Rookie, I had been on the set a lot.
And so I met Clint Eastwood.
Yeah.
elevator and Clint Eastwood walks in and he goes I remember those boots and the funny thing was when we were on the set I was wearing these black cowboy boots with rhinestones all over them and Clint Eastwood the first thing he ever said to me was so do you do it with your boots on?
and I was just going oh that is so fucking cool so we get in the elevator Clint Eastwood was there we remember the things he's asked and I'm wearing the same fucking boots he's asked me about the boots again so this is where Charlie and I hooked back up after quite some time of being not quite some time it was a couple months of turmoil and we ended up flying off to Austria now at this point in time I'm on probation for my trial I did not get sentenced to any time I got probation with drug testing and I was allowed to fly to Cannes for the film festival which I did and I just so happened to be engaged to someone at the time and it was not Charlie so I'm wearing the ring I must not be in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings You're violating probation.
I'm violating probation.
I fly to Austria, hook up with Charlie, and it's on the set of The Three Musketeers.
So there's all of these people there.
We had the best party.
I remember we went go-kart riding.
We went to clubs.
We went partying.
We went dancing.
We had so much fun.
Met all these wonderful people.
But because I was wearing an engagement ring, the press happened to just see us.
They saw me with the ring on thinking it was Charlie.
I got back from Austria, and they were waiting for me, and I immediately went to jail.
For four months.
I did four months, 70 days in federal prison.
Was it worth it?
Fuck yeah.
Okay.
Woo-hoo.
Woo-hoo.
So Stevie, you had a question for Ms. Lynn?
I do.
I was curious about the toilet story, the house toilet story.
What?
What?
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
When Charlie's in the ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings I've never told the story.
Is it not Ron Sullivan?
No, no.
Okay, so Charlie's building is, when I met him, he had his very first condo.
It was in Malibu, really nice, very small, all black, all lacquer, art everywhere.
It was just this wonderful little place with looking out over the beach.
Little fuck, nice little fuck pad.
Nice little fuck pad.
And he was building a new house.
He was building his first house.
And so he took me up there to see the house and we're walking through and I'm looking and it's basically got, you know, the beams and there's a toilet in here and that bathroom's kind of started.
Nothing is done in the house.
And we weren't that far into the relationship.
And so I'm still kind of shy.
There's still like, when it comes right down to it, I may be boisterous and loud and funny on my show or whatever, you may not think I'm funny, but whatever it is, I have a very big personality.
And at this point in time, I was still a little tentative and still new in the relationship.
So we go into the house and all of a sudden I had the worst stomach ache in the entire world.
Now, none of the toilets work.
None of the house is turned on.
I don't know what to do and I'm going to poo my pants.
I'm going to...
Oh my God.
And I don't know what to do.
Oh my God.
So I distract...
Charlie had a gun range that he was building downstairs.
So I'm like, oh, I want to see the gun range because I knew it was far away.
So we go down to the gun range and I'm like, I'll be right back.
I have to...
And I run upstairs.
I run outside through the backyard, back into the main house, find the one bathroom that has a toilet in it.
I sit down, I go to the bathroom.
It's not pretty.
Charlie walks back in.
He's knocking on the door.
There's no water turned on.
Oh no.
There's no toilet.
I have just taken...
Oh no, a massive...
A massive diarrhea dump in a toilet.
There's no water and Charlie's knocking on the door.
Oh my God.
And I can't...
He must have really loved you because I would have had to go home and just like, you know what?
I need to never see you again because...
I was so fucking mortified.
It was mortifying.
But you know what?
I finally open the door.
I shut it behind me.
He goes, what's going on?
Nothing.
Did you use the toilet?
No.
Why does it smell funny in there?
I don't know.
I farted.
No, it wasn't.
And it was just one of those things that...
And he went out...
He went out and he had bottles of water in the car and he took the water and he poured the water into the toilet that wasn't running.
It had no pipes.
It wasn't connected and flushed down my poo-poo for me.
What a...
That is...
That's a nice guy.
That's the romantic side of the story.
That is the romantic side of the story.
And obviously...
Oh.
Wait, there's more?
No, we have to take a short little break here.
Okay, but I have a couple of questions more that I want to...
We've got more.
I promised to dedicate the first hour to Charlie questions.
If you have one, please call us at 1-800-893-9562.
I'm sharing stories that I've never shared before.
Some of them not quite so glamorous, but they're true.
Oh, my God.
No, awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome.
See, getting back to the real ginger Lynn here.
All right, I want to know, are you looking to spice things up in the bedroom?
What a great segue.
Poo-poo-dip.
Right, right.
Spicing things up in the bedroom.
Don't do what I do.
If you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, I want to know, have you been fantasizing about...
Surprising your lover with an adventurous new toy or adult movie?
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I'm Ginger Lynn.
I would not shit you.
God, you did not do that.
I had to.
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Don't go away.
You're listening to Blame It on Ginger with Ginger Lynn.
And Nina Hartley.
And Stevie.
And we will be right back with more down and dirty Charlie Sheen stories.
Stories.
Stories.
Stories.
More.
More.
I want more.
I want more.
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I want more.
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We're not going anywhere.
Ginger Lynn.
And Nina Hartley.
Right here, right now on Blame It On Ginger.
It's one of those getting down, getting dirty, getting into all the good stuff that I never share.
I am sharing little stories about my experience with Charlie Sheen.
I've done it before on other people's show.
I have never in 12 years of radio gotten into, done an interview and shared my stories with you.
Nina Hartley is my wonderful friend.
My co-host.
My lover.
Stop it.
You're just too cute.
Well, are you not any of those?
Yes, yes, yes.
No, no.
Am I telling the truth?
No, but you're making me blush.
And you know how hard that is.
Not your ass.
Oh, I'm so sorry about biting your ass.
I felt so bad.
We'll talk about that later.
I'm so sorry.
But first, we are talking about a very special time in your history that has been over a long time, but has recently come back into the news because a former partner of yours, again, has become engaged to someone who is part of our business.
And so, of course, that brings up you.
And so, finally, you're talking about some of your experiences that you haven't shared with anybody.
We've had an amazing time hearing about all kinds of things.
Apparently, it was worth the parole violation.
The off-street is pretty awesome.
But I wanted, apparently, there's something to do with a homeless guy.
What story about the homeless guy do we need to know?
Well, what I want to share is that, you know, as I said earlier, there's been a few things in the news, and I try not to pay attention.
The Charlie that I knew, the Charlie that I spent my time with, is the only Charlie I know.
Right.
And that man was one of the most kind, loving, generous, big-hearted people I have ever met in my life.
And I remember one day, we had gone out, and Charlie had bought a new car.
He had bought a Viper.
Oh, my God.
Back when they were so excited.
Yes.
So nice.
So nice.
So nice.
Back in the Viper days.
Yes.
And we were driving down PCH, and there was a homeless person on the side of the road.
And we were going one way.
He was walking the other way.
We were on the opposite side of the street.
And Charlie just kept driving.
And then he flipped a bitch, took a Yui, turned back around, did not stop at the homeless person, kept driving, drove back into the city, went to a sporting goods store, and bought items for the homeless guy.
He bought him a sleeping bag.
He bought him food.
He bought him clothing.
He bought him socks.
He bought him this entire array of personal items that were needed and necessary.
He bought him like one of those backpack things that you carry your sleeping bag in.
And it's just one of my favorite, sweet stories that let people know that there's a really, really good guy in there.
And that's the guy that I knew.
So, you know, obviously when I do, I do read the popular press every week.
I only buy one of the magazines, but I do flip through them.
So, of course, in the straight media.
So for people at home who don't know, when Ginger and I talk about, quote, unquote, civilians, we're talking about people who are not sex workers and or entertainment industry personnel.
Because there's something about being a professional entertainer that, you know, there's a professional ditch diggers world, and there's a professional window cleaners world, and there's a professional entertainers world.
And the subcategory.
The subcategory of professional sexual entertainers.
And so when the straight media looks at, so air quotes, Charlie's antics was threesomes and the goddesses.
Oh, my gosh, it's so strange.
It's so strange.
And for us, of course, you know, multiple partners isn't a strange thing.
But there is a public perception of people who do what we do.
And then there's actual human person Ginger.
So Charlie, someone who's in the so-called straight world.
Right.
He may be have an affinity for us.
He may be not.
He may be a little more open minded about boundaries.
But he's still not a porn dude.
He's a straight guy.
So here's a straight entertainment guy who is openly dating someone from our world.
And how did he manage not just your past, but the media's reaction to it?
Well, you know, when we first started dating, it was on the set of Young Guns 2, which was a very public place, but it wasn't so much dating.
I think everybody there thought it was just, you know, a one night fling.
And Charlie wasn't the only one that I had a little fling with.
On that set before he got there.
Yay.
Once he got there, things changed.
But prior to that, he wasn't the first.
Yes.
So.
No way.
Stop.
I'm a dirty little slut.
Yes.
And you made people marry very happy.
But Charlie and I, I am completely bisexual.
Yeah.
I love men.
I will always put men, not men.
My man.
My man above women.
Is number one in my book.
Sure, sure, sure.
And when I'm with a man, when I'm with my man, I am monogamous as far as other men go.
My pussy has not had another dick in it in nearly six years.
And it don't miss it.
It doesn't miss it.
No, I've got the best dick ever.
Woo!
I've got the best.
And it's attached to the best man ever.
Win, win.
To the best man.
But I still have a soft spot in my pussy.
For pussy.
For pussy.
I mean, come on.
Yay.
Girls are fabulous.
Aren't they amazing?
I love girls.
I love girls.
We love girls.
Yes.
Yes.
We had to have a little kiss there.
Girls are amazing.
And so what I would do with Charlie is our sex was, as I said, pretty much, you know, it was vanilla.
It was vanilla.
It was, you know, a little rough vanilla, but for the most part vanilla.
But what I would do is because I still wanted to sleep with my girlfriends and new girls, is I would bring different girls over.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would bring my friends over.
And I remember one time, my favorite story is my girlfriend, Lisa, who is a bonafide lesbian.
Now, the first time that she and I met, we had sex.
We didn't really even have sex.
She came home to my apartment and said, you look really, really like you're stressed out.
I think you should have a massage.
Oh, okay.
So she gives me this massage.
Don't talk to me twice.
Exactly.
And it turns into sex and it's fabulous and wonderful.
But now Lisa is a girl.
Here, let's...
There we go.
Who had never been with a man before.
She'd only been and I was one of her first women.
So I decide that it would be a really good idea for Lisa and Charlie and I to have sex together.
Okay.
Okay.
I call her up.
We send a limo out.
The limo comes.
They pick up Lisa.
Now she's got hair down to her ass.
She's half Italian, half Egyptian.
Oh my God.
Beautiful.
Just fucking stunning.
Yeah.
She's never wore a dress in her life except for one time to a wedding.
And I said, I want you to look girly, wear a dress.
So she comes in this bridesmaid dress over to Charlie's house and she gets there and Charlie's in bed and I'm laying there and we're all ready and it is a new place that I've already pooped in the toilet that it's now working.
There's a fire pole in the closet in the bedroom.
My friend Lisa shows up and she's petrified.
I'm like, what?
She's literally shaking.
She's going, Ginger, I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I'm like, sweetheart, of course you can.
Let me help.
So I put a blindfold on her.
Oh baby.
Oh my God.
And I lie her down on one side of his cock and I'm on the other side and I said, now keep listening to my voice.
You'll be able to hear it and just follow my voice.
Now I want you to kiss me.
Now there's a penis in between.
She doesn't know this.
Oh, oh Ginger.
Oh Ginger.
Oh Ginger.
So I get her to go to kiss me and she's got it.
I'm watching.
I'm like, put your head in Charlie's belly and you're just going to reach over and just kiss me.
I'm right here, honey.
You can hear everything that's going on.
You can hear my voice.
You can.
And then she goes to kiss me and it's a wiener.
It's a...
Are your lips on the other side of it?
Yeah, but they're not touching.
Oh my, oh nice.
So Charlie is nicely put together in that area.
He's got a really nice cock.
Nice.
It's nice.
It's just nice.
It's exactly what...
User friendly.
It's user friendly.
It matches his body.
It's the perfect cock.
Oh, nice.
You know, it's just perfect for him.
So Lisa and I are, she's on one side, I'm on the other and she's, I'm like, keep kissing.
You're going to get to my lips.
So she keeps kissing.
She's like, and there's that wiener in between.
It's the final bit.
Okay.
Slide your tongue up.
Slide your tongue up.
Oh, no you did.
Oh my God.
I did.
No, cause that way we get to the tip and that's where she can actually kiss me.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so sweet.
That's so sweet.
That's where she can actually kiss me.
Yeah.
Wow.
So I got, and it's the only cock she's ever had in her mouth.
And I was able to bring home a lesbian that had never been with a man.
So that was one of my little gifts to him.
And then there was another night that I had a girlfriend over.
And you know when you're in the mood and then you change your mind.
So my girlfriend lived far away and we sent a car for her and Charlie and I had sex and by the time she got there, I was over it.
So she gets there and there we're all like kissing to make it out.
I'm going, you know what?
I'm really not into this.
I'm really not in the mood.
So I went and took a bubble bath.
And let them alone.
And let them fuck for two hours.
See, I like that.
See, that's the kind of, that's the kind of girlfriend I am.
It's like I give my partner lots of freedom and privacy because I, as long as I get what I need from him, I don't care what he shares with other people.
As long as I.
Oh, I do now.
And that's where you and I are.
We're both open, but we're different kinds of open.
Right.
And as long as it's the right kind of open for you, you know, everyone else can take a number to kiss your ass.
But I do.
I do the.
So the idea of a bubble bath for my man's having a good time.
Oh, awesome.
And this is where I realized where today is that that was my first love.
I am now in my first true love because I would never in a heartbeat.
If my man.
If I.
He said to me, I want to fuck her without you here.
You know, we're done.
Yeah, we're done.
You can fuck somebody else with me there all night long.
But my heart is so attached to be in the room that it's it's a different deal.
I would never if I walked away.
I go, I'm sorry, honey, you have to leave.
Right.
So there's there's a difference in your in your first love and your true love.
I think so.
Sure.
Absolutely.
And mostly don't just know you were barely past a girl then.
And you were.
You're.
You're.
You're.
You're.
You're.
You're.
You're.
You're.
You're.
And you're a woman now.
And you know what?
There's a big, big difference, isn't there?
It really is.
It really is.
But more.
So do we have anything else we have to tell people about?
We have to do this again.
Not yet.
We don't want to do more minutes.
We do.
We've got eleven minutes.
Okay, well, Stevie, did you want something you needed something else from her?
Didn't you have another question?
I want to hear about the couch story.
The couch.
It's like couch porn.
This isn't like a casting couch.
This is like San Fernando Valley couch porn.
This is a couch incident.
An expensive.
Very expensive.
So that's $10,000 leather couches?
More.
Keep going.
No.
Guess again how much it costs. $50,000 couches.
Keep going. $75,000.
That's about the right amount that it ended being.
That's a custom made couch.
It's going to be like 30 feet long.
Made for the one of a kind for this mansion somewhere.
No, this was a maybe $500 couch that just so happened to be in a hotel room.
There was a night where...
Okay.
I liked to party.
Charlie liked to party.
We did not...
We were sober together for over 14 months.
We had a long period of sobriety when Charlie went through...
Is this still good?
Yes.
Awesome.
Yes.
It was fantastic.
But there was a night where...
We had a party at a very famous hotel in a very famous town.
Very famous town.
And it turned out that one of the guests there, one of Charlie's good friends, very famous actor, his girlfriend was sleeping with another man.
And everybody kind of found out.
It hit the press.
Oh, dear.
And the guy that she was sleeping with was black.
So Charlie's a very big jokester.
So being the funny guy that Charlie is, we get to the party.
His friend is there.
There's a lot of famous people there.
There's a Shaw down the hall with a bunch of people.
We end up switching parties and people are everywhere.
But what Charlie did was...
Just to be funny is he brought this giant, big, black penis with these huge set of balls on them.
And when the friend walked in whose girlfriend had been sleeping with somebody else, Charlie pulls out the dick.
Oh, no.
No.
No.
Nobody is happy.
Oh, no.
Everybody's cracking up.
Oh, no.
The actor whose girlfriend's sleeping with somebody else is not happy.
No, he's not cracking up.
There's another famous actor who's peeing in the closet.
Oh, what?
We just...
It gets to the point where...
Hollywood is so degenerate.
Oh, my God.
We took the balls.
Oh, no.
Not we.
Charlie disconnected the balls from the cock, ordered a case of whipped cream.
No.
Yes.
And we set the whipped cream up.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.!
And we set the whipped cream up as the same shape as you would if you were going bowling.
And we cut the balls in half so we had two balls that were...
They were our bowling balls.
So we're in this hotel room.
We're bowling with the dildo balls up against all of these cans of whipped cream.
And the party just kept escalating and escalating.
The next thing I know, somebody's throwing the sofa off the balcony, lands on a car below the balcony.
That's the same thing. $75,000 problem.
That's the $75,000 sofa.
So it kind of went out the window.
Thank God everybody was in a good mood.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
We had strippers dancing on tables.
We had hookers from the Shaw down there.
And we had the whole top floor of this hotel.
So everybody is taking on different parties, going back and forth.
One of my girlfriends, who's the most shy, demure, sweet girl, she's butt-ass naked wearing cowboy boots up on the glass table, stripping and dancing.
And it was just one of those nights.
One of those nights.
Yeah, I get it.
That lasted three days.
Oh, my God.
Where everybody had a party.
Wow.
And that was just before we got sober.
Yeah.
Just before we made that decision to get sober.
So when was the last time you spoke?
You know what?
Charlie and I have not spoken.
The last time we spoke, I became very close with Charlie's family, with his friends, with his ex-girlfriend, with their daughter.
And with the family, with his sister.
And I just had a brain fart.
So I was over at his, the mother of his first child, Paula.
I was at her house with her husband.
And we decided, I went over there.
And we just decided we were going to have a nice chill night.
We were taking a jacuzzi.
And Charlie called his ex and said, you know, what are you doing?
And she goes, I am.
I'm here with Ginger in the jacuzzi.
So we passed the phone over.
We had this long conversation.
It was wonderful.
And I'm like, well, come on over.
You know what?
And I had seen Charlie maybe two weeks before that.
And I'm like, you know, come on over.
We're having a little party.
And he said, I can't.
I'm engaged to Donna.
And that was when he got, I'm going to get engaged.
So the last time we spoke was 18 years ago, probably last July, coming up on night.
So Donna was the one before Denise.
Yes.
Yes.
So that was our last conversation.
And we haven't really spoken since.
Because he seemed to like having kids.
Did you ever talk having kids with him?
You know, we discussed having children.
We discussed getting married.
We discussed growing old together.
We discussed a lot of things.
But you know how it is when you're younger.
We were both in our 20s.
We were both having a really good time.
We had a wonderful relationship at that.
I look at everything in life as a link in the chain.
My relationship with you, Nina, is a link that's still solid.
It's still there.
A lot of links, they get hooked together and they break apart.
And they're still a part of that link and that chain of your life.
But they're not still current.
And so the time that I had with Charlie was one of the most amazing parts of my life.
I had experiences that I will never be able to repeat.
Never would want to repeat.
But you're glad you had them.
I'm glad.
I'm glad that I had them.
And what I will say is that Charlie is, again, I don't have any negative things to say about Charlie.
The man that I knew, the man that I loved back then, the man that I cared about is one of the most charming, warm, loving, generous, passionate, caring people I've ever met.
And so I don't have anything bad to say about Charlie.
And all of the things that have come up in the press and I've read this and that here and there, not intentionally, but people send them to me.
I don't know that man.
The man that I know is from 18 years ago, who's one of the best people with the biggest hearts that I have ever met.
And I, I give him all the best praise.
I give him all my love, my encouragement.
And I hope that this relationship, this marriage that he's going into is the best experience of his life.
And I hope that he's found his joy and his happiness and his as I have the love of his life.
That's nice.
Awesome.
So it sounds like so the so the family loved you as much as he did.
It sounds like.
You know what?
They were they were wonderful.
We spent a lot of holidays together.
We took family vacations.
We went to Fiji.
We accepted you as as his legitimate girlfriend, the real girl, the real deal.
The real deal.
I think it would be easier for them to accept me as the real deal today than it was back then, because I was the first.
I was his original sin.
Yeah.
And at that point, that was right off a platoon that was right off of Wall Street, that was right off of all of his friends.
All of his big things.
And I think that it there were a lot there was a lot of support in the relationship.
But I also think that there were a few people that thought, oh, they had the same stereotypical images of porn stars that most people do or did at that point in time.
So they were wonderful.
They were supportive.
They were loving.
I think and I hope that today they support and love the woman that he loves.
And I just I want him to have all the best.
Yeah, good.
You know what I think?
You know, maybe the fourth time.
I hope it is for him.
I really do, too.
Yeah, I really do, too.
So I hope that you've enjoyed this little segment.
It's a little bit of a deep inside, a little bit of a getting down.
Steve, you have another question?
No, I was just saying my grandmother would have loved this because she watches Charlie Sheen all the time.
You know what?
He's a good guy.
He really is a good guy.
Yeah, she would have enjoyed these stories.
Even even the toilet story.
Oh, well, that's a story that's just classic.
I mean, you are listening.
I mean, we're supposed to go outside into the bushes.
I mean, what are you supposed to do in an emergency situation like that?
I didn't know what to do.
I had no idea.
Would anybody out there know what to do in a situation like that?
Oh, my God.
I want to thank the last thing I want to do is because the letters came up, the letters were what prompted me to talk about Charlie Sheen.
If you haven't had a chance, you can go to Radar online to read these letters.
And they are just.
Really sweet.
A testament.
They're really sweet.
To the relationship that I had with Martin Sheen, with Charlie Sheen, with the family.
And I want to thank Charlie and I want to thank Martin both for supporting me, for being there for me and for just being the good man that you are.
Yeah, I want to thank you so much.
Ah, thank you, Nina.
Well, thank you.
That's some very, very forthcoming, which is, of course, one of the wonderful things about you.
Is that you are a.
Down home girl.
Well, out pretensions.
And we appreciate that.
Thank you so much.
And I really I don't want to ever get to be the girl that gets down into all the gossip and the this and the that it's just not who I am.
But with the letters being exposed, the letters coming out, I just wanted people to see the side of Charlie that I saw and there's there's so much bullshit in the media, so much so many lies, so many judgments.
And and unless you know me, unless, you know, Charlie, unless, you know, anybody, you have absolutely no idea.
Judge.
And and even if you do, you don't write.
I do remember you calling me once when you first started dating Charlie and you wouldn't tell me his name, you're like, I met this guy and he's really great.
And all I can tell you is I'm I'm going to call him Erwin.
I don't know why you called him Erwin.
And I was like, middle name.
Oh, there's a question.
You don't want outed.
Oh, my God.
I called him Erwin.
Like, yeah, I'm just going to say his name is Erwin.
And then you told me these stories about this guy named Erwin.
And I was like, in my head, I couldn't picture my who is this Erwin guy.
It was just secret.
Like this was like before anybody even knew.
It was just a call out of the blue to tell somebody.
Like, I'll tell someone one quick last story on that.
Charlie was born and he had the cord wrapped around his neck.
He was a blue baby.
And the doctor that saved his life's name was Erwin.
So his middle name is Erwin.
And that's all I will say.
And I'm so glad that that doctor saved his life.
Yeah, I want to thank Charlie and Martin.
I want to thank Charlie for all the good years that we had together.
I wish you all the very best.
Martin, I want to thank you for being so supportive and kind and loving.
And I want to thank you, Nina, for doing a wonderful interview.
Charlie, Charlie, Steve, Steve, Steve.
Let's start calling you Erwin.
Oh, no, no, you are Steve.
I want to thank you for joining in on the interview.
We're not going anywhere.
We're coming back with Lesbian Places to Touch Your Lesbian Lover.
We've got Shay Snow coming in.
Woo, girl part.
Woo.
We will be right back here on Blame It On Ginger.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
When we come back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
When we're in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings in ceilings I have so many things to learn from you.
I hate my life.
Now we have to get our camera back.
You mean person.
I know, I know.
Beating my ass.
Beating your ass without the vibrator.
I think I just saw the best version of eruption I've ever seen.
You were playing your clit like a fret on the guitar.
You play guitar.
I don't play guitar, but I've watched Eric.
I've watched the great guitar players.
When you really work your way up on the fret.
You almost said Eric Clapton.
It's okay.
I said it.
You didn't.
It was kind of like Pussy Hero.
I love.
Oh.
Oh my God.
We invented a game.
That's it.
Yeah.
No more Guitar Hero.
We are all on to Pussy Hero.
Yes.
Yes, indeed.
But I want to hear more about Dark Mark.
Dark Mark in studio with us.
So can people at home see him?
He is clearly an entertainer's entertainer.
Yes.
I like a man who'll come to the radio, come to the radio prepared to be on TV, which is really rare.
So Dark Mark, what can we know about your act and where can we find you?
Well, you can find me here on Skid Row Studios every Thursday night at 8 o'clock.
Oh, cool.
Oh, we're on.
For the Dark Mark show.
Actually, Ginger was supposed to be on my Valentine's show, but she fell ill.
Oh, boy.
So I do have.
I felt so bad.
I'm so sorry.
I had bronchitis.
So I have the gifts that I was going to give to you.
Oh, no.
You have.
You brought gifts?
Of course I brought gifts.
Well, it's all.
You had bronchitis, right?
Yes, she did.
She sounded.
She sounded like a man.
She sounded like Charlton Heston.
Because the day before you were squirted, though, right?
I was.
I was.
So you were like squirting and coughing at the same time?
Yeah, if I coughed, I think I peed.
Anyway, so I used to have the most outrageous show here at Skid Row Studios.
Jenny will tell you.
I came in and my third show, I had a guy called Doc Shock who used an electric wand and shocked everybody in the studio.
Oh, how fun.
Yeah.
Always fun.
Yeah, that's old hat for me.
No, no, but if you've ever had.
If you've ever had one, it's a really cool sensei.
It's different.
Yeah, so he shocked everybody and then I had some fire play.
Last week I had.
Fire play.
We had some fire play.
You had fire.
You can do fire play in the studio.
Well, we had a guy.
His name's Orpheus Black.
Oh, yes, yes.
You know Orpheus?
I believe I do.
Yeah, so he assured.
He had small torches.
Okay, good.
And he assured Jeremy.
He said, look, Jeremy's the guy behind Skid Row Studios.
He's like, I'm going to make sure it's safe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Last week Jeremy wasn't here, so we had Sin Fisted, who's been on Ginger's show before, I believe.
She was supposed to.
Oh.
She.
Haven't been here yet.
Yeah.
She's rescheduled.
She'll be on this month.
Okay.
But she's been on your old show at the old network.
Oh, wait.
Oh, wait a minute.
Yes.
She shot sparks off her vagina on my show this week.
Wow.
Well, she has a metal crotch piece.
Whoa.
Cool.
And she uses a grinder.
Oh, my God.
Huh?
So I had her.
I had.
She didn't get to do that on my last show.
You need to like hook me up with her.
Yeah.
Sure.
She did it your place first.
So there you go.
Yes.
I have the exclusive.
The exclusive.
So that means five people.
Actually, it hasn't even been uploaded yet.
Let's get to that.
And Melrose Larry Green from the Howard Stern Show was here.
And we put him in a straight jacket, put a bra on his head, and choked him with a bra.
My lovely co-host Josie Kapp helped out with that.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
I so need to see your show.
I love it.
I'm going to be on.
Oh, I need to talk to you about that.
We're going to talk after.
We're going to talk after.
We're going to talk after.
But this week.
This week.
I've got a full booking.
I have Tessa LaCoyle, who used to be known as Danny Danger.
Last time she was on the show, Josie Kapp, my co-host, who's the lead singer of Pissant, a punk band.
She has huge D breasts.
Oh, wow.
Nice.
Gotta love the big, beautiful titties.
Yeah, big, natural titties.
Yeah.
I got to talk to you about her because I, you know, should I, is it okay if I fuck my co-host or?
Fuck yeah.
Depends.
It depends.
Because there's really good on-air chemistry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It depends entirely on what your off-air life is like and what your off-air beliefs about relationships and intimacy boundaries are.
So that's a yes.
Yes.
If both of you say, you know what?
It's a big yes.
It depends.
So that means Nina's saying we should have a talk.
Yeah.
I'm thinking yes.
And in terms of saying, you know what?
I fuck my co-host all the time.
Nina and I are going to be having sex here in a few minutes.
Right.
I'm glad.
But we also go back 20 years.
20 years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so...
20 months.
I'm 31.
So yeah.
The issue mainly is if you both have the same value system around casual but not in personal sex, it's fine.
Okay.
But the values have to overlap.
Right.
Well, I think the value right now is I really want to fuck her and I don't think she wants to fuck me.
She wants to be friends.
Then you know what?
Then take that energy and build the co-host tension.
And then...
It's building.
Yeah.
Ask her permission.
May I?
May I?
Flirt outrageously and blatantly with you.
Oh, I do that already.
On camera.
Oh, yeah.
On set.
And then to say, you know what?
I have to sublimate my sexual desire for you into the flirting.
Please do take it personally because I really do want to fuck you, but I will not advance on this unless or until you say something.
No, I say you just when you've got her to choke hold.
Yay.
You go, baby, you like this.
She wants to choke.
She wants to choke on the show.
If she says yes, if when, ask her.
Because I'm a traditional guy, I thought maybe, you know, take her out for...
Drinks or coffee.
Well, first get her permission.
First get her permission that she wants that energy from you off camera, off set.
That's the main thing.
Well, here's what happened on the show this week.
Totally different things.
Different ideas.
I say if you choke her out, she says, yes, yes, baby, I want more.
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
Just make sure she's not unconscious.
Oh, then you know what you do?
Smack her back.
You just smack her right back.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Here's what happened on the show this week.
This is so weird.
That's the balance.
Because Melrose Larry Green...
Melrose Larry Green from...
He was talking about a female friend.
Right.
And I said, oh, that means a girl you want to fuck that won't fuck you.
And he's like...
Yes.
And she's like, he's like, yeah.
So I joke, I'm like, we call that a Josie.
She's like, what?
Huh?
Huh?
Fuck you.
That's adorable.
She was so, like, livid.
And then it took me back for a second.
I had to go back.
I'm like, wait a second.
Why were you so upset?
Maybe you do want to fuck me.
Or, you know, because I think women don't like being considered or joked about being a prick tease or a cock tease or perceived as one.
No.
No.
Really?
We never do.
No.
No.
There's being...
So, for example, I know I'm flirtatious.
I know that I incite sexual desire.
That's okay with me.
No.
And we can...
Yes.
And we can joke about it.
We can flirt about it.
We can make fun.
We can bring it up as a reality in the world that this is so.
For people who are more on the fence about it, who like being sexy but don't like having it called attention to, the idea that they might be perceived as a cock tease is very...
It makes them indignant.
Well, she's a fetish model, too, so I don't know.
Oh, she's better being looked...
She's being drooled over then.
What if you just ask her, do you want to fuck me?
There you go.
I think that's going to happen very soon.
Good for you.
Yay.
I'm thinking let's just get it out on the table.
Are there any circumstances under which I could be naked with you in the same room at the same time?
That's the question.
No.
Under what...
I disagree.
No.
Just take your clothes off.
Get butt fucking naked.
Right now?
Yeah, go for it.
Yes.
I love naked men.
Oh, didn't he bring me gloves?
Oh, you want to do a lap dance for me?
You want me to give you a lap dance?
Yes.
Naked?
Yes.
But I'll have to be the one to grope him.
He took so much effort getting into the wardrobe.
You look so amazing.
What if you do one...
He can give me a lap dance with the clothes on, and since I have permission to grope boy bits, I can grope his bits.
Can we find a song?
I'm thinking track number six from Blame It On Ginger.
No.
What Would Ginger Do?
What Would Ginger Do?
Track number six.
Ten minutes of your eye treating me like a piece of meat.
Yeah, well, Nina's ready, and she's horny, and you're hot, so...
Am I really?
Yes, you are.
I'm going to give you my chair.
Of the two of us, I'm the one that gets to play with strange boy bits.
I'm going to give you my chair, Nina.
Oh.
We're not going to do it.
Oh, go for it.
All right.
We're doing a dark mark, doing a sexy, sleazy, wonderful lap dance for Miss Nina Hartley right now.
No.
I got my pants off.
Dark mark.
Taking off the headphones.
Getting ready.
He's wearing a black pinstripe suit.
Got the gloves going.
Oh, yeah.
There we go.
Turn that crank that music up a little bit.
Oh, he's humping my leg.
I think he was wearing a...
There we go.
There you go.
Nice.
All right.
Sitting on my hand.
Ass down.
Oh, the big handful of stuff.
Josie, I don't know what you're missing.
Oh.
There's some nice big balls there, Mark.
Hello.
Nina's going right for the good stuff.
Of course.
I'm not going to do them off, but I'm going to unzip his...
There we go.
Nina's going in deep down inside.
Oh, he's wearing boxers so they hang nice.
Nice big balls, lady.
Oh.
Dark mark.
Oh, nice.
Just a little bit of grind.
Bumping for the arms.
Humping the hair.
Oh, humping my hand.
Hello.
We got sexy stuff going on right now.
Oh, I found something.
I found something.
What you got there, Nina?
I got something between my fingers and I'm just stroking on it.
Hello.
Yeah, baby.
Keep going, Mark.
Get into it.
You can wiggle.
Yeah, baby.
He is.
Come on.
Give Nina that dance.
Grind those hips against it.
Oh, he's getting nervous.
I'm thinking the dick is getting harder and harder.
Dark mark's starting to blush.
I'll never tell.
So, Josie, you know what?
He can show you a good time, sweetheart.
Let's go.
Let it happen, baby.
Let it happen.
Nina's got two hands in there now.
Dark mark, that was the best combo lap dance ever.
You had the moves going on.
Lap dance, shameless groping.
Shameless groping.
It's an avatancho.
Shameless groping.
I hate boy bits.
Damn it, Jim.
I had to touch another set.
Damn it.
It's okay.
It's okay, baby.
No, you know what?
Let me calm down.
Give me a kiss.
Two billion.
No, no.
Two billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine other dicks left to go in the world.
You're almost there.
You're making a really good time.
In terms of age-appropriate, available boy bits, okay, half a billion.
That's still a lot.
You have half a billion left to go?
People know people who are within the age category of 18 to 90.
But then you have to.
You have to.
Girls who are not gay.
Like Kim Jong-un.
People like that.
Yeah, well, to him, I wanted something else, too.
No, him, I would just want to hang by his balls.
Right.
I was going to say, please tell me you're not into it.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not into him.
He's really creepy.
No, he's a megalomaniacal, murdering maniac.
Okay, good.
I'm just glad we're on the same page there.
We're on the same page.
The man's batshit crazy needs to go now.
Now, Dark Mark, you just had the amazing, the fabulous, the legendary Nina Hartley grabbing your boy parts.
Grabbing your, I'm going to guess, I couldn't see all the parts.
No, the full pack.
The full pack is your boy bits.
So she got the balls.
She got the cock.
How was that for you?
They're in the same neighborhood.
It's very hard to get one, not the other.
I'll tell you what's the most weird and embarrassing thing about that is I was a little shy on air.
Oh, please.
Every guy.
You're shy?
No, every guy.
And now, I mean, I would love for you to check it out now.
Now it's so ridiculous.
Right on.
Yay.
I was a little.
Okay.
No, no.
You know what?
I will because.
Just come back in.
And I'll tell you why.
Nina is a professional.
She's coming back in.
Dark Mark in studio with us.
He has a show here on Skid Row Studios.
Well, the secret is, you know, people think we always apologize.
Oh, Nina, I'm sorry.
I'm not like those guys.
A, they're professionals.
B, before you see him on the camera, he has been, he has been, we and I have been playing around for half an hour here.
We've been playing time.
So ask a civilian guy.
Hello, Fruitvale.
Ask us.
Ask.
Ask me a civilian guy off the drop of the hat to do something.
That's just.
Thank you, Mark.
Okay.
Nina is a happy girl.
Now, I think that.
Well, I was happy before because I don't care.
You know what?
And also, I don't care what state the boy bits are in.
Happy, resting in between.
I just like to be around them.
It doesn't have to be.
I don't care what state they're in.
I just like them.
What about the smell?
I love the scent of a man's.
I love.
Can I sniff your crotch?
Please.
Please.
I'm coming in.
Ginger Lynn, sniff my crotch.
I'm coming in.
No, there's nothing.
There's nothing as fun and exciting as, um, as teabagging.
The nice musty.
It's on my hand, you know, I should have had you smell my hand.
Boy bit.
You know what?
You smell manly and fucking hot.
I know.
I am so glad.
I am so glad.
That I showered.
I'm wearing Dr. Bronner's this morning.
So my testicles are tingly.
Oh, he's no, Dr. Bronner's got that peppermint soap.
It's really awesome.
It makes your skin.
No, it's soap.
It makes your skin feel tingly all over.
And you know what?
You've got a very refreshing yet manly smell.
And I just know my favorite thing here.
Nina testified.
Lift your arm.
Mm hmm.
I bet.
I bet your man smells so good after he's fucked you.
I just love her.
I love scent.
I love.
I just went into Nina's armpit and just devoured and sniffed and inhaled every single.
I love that you have a fresh, clean, crisp, yet manly smell to you.
I'm glad.
Well, thanks.
Thank you very much.
So now, so Mark, tell us about your act.
We've totally fallen.
What do you do, dark Mark?
I'm the goth comedian.
I'm a stand up comedian.
Okay.
That wears makeup.
I'm wearing makeup.
For the people that are listening on audio, I'm wearing makeup.
I'm wearing a black shirt.
I'm wearing a black shirt.
I'm wearing a black shirt.
I'm wearing a black eye liner.
He has black, he has the black Ziggy Alice Cooper under liner.
I've got the face paint, the whole thing.
Black lipstick.
Yeah.
The thing is about comedy, there's so many comedians that do the same thing.
Yeah.
I figured I want a spice.
Really?
Oh, you go to a comedy show, it's the same thing.
My mother, my first date, you know, that kind of thing.
It's the same.
It's a bunch of guys with the same shirts telling the same jokes.
It depends where you go.
You know, there's one school of thought where there's a bunch of people in suit and tie doing one thing.
It's not a school of thought.
Oh.
Bunch of people in flannel doing other things.
Oh, okay.
It depends where you go.
There's one school of thought where there's a bunch of people in suit and ties doing one thing.
It's not a school of thought.
A bunch of people in flannel doing other things.
You go to a black club, it's the same people doing the same thing.
You go to a Latin club, it's the same people.
I go to a club, nobody looks like this.
Well, that's what I was confused about.
I thought you were saying there were a bunch of people doing the same thing.
And I'm going, I've never seen anybody look like a goth comedian.
I'm attracted to gothic girls.
I like pasty white women.
Got it.
And you both are tan.
Well, I'm pasty white, but Ginger is a healthy outdoor girl.
I went for a four-hour hike yesterday with Kelly Nichols.
I got sunstroke.
I need to go.
I need to go hang with her.
She's army.
She has that discipline.
She's just crazy.
I like a girl who locks herself in the closet for about three years and gets that.
Oh, I haven't tanned in 12 years, but there you go.
It's getting harder as you speak.
I was telling Ginger on the phone, I told you when I got in the studio, I've masturbated to both of you, but I've never seen any of your porno movies.
Isn't that crazy?
You've masturbated to both of us, but not seen any of our movies.
Yeah, I think I'm going to have to dig out that DVD of Boogie Nights tonight.
Oh, right, right.
And it's funny because you would think you couldn't masturbate to that scene because dramatically it makes no sense and it's so sad for movie mage Macy, but you can sort of see your side move in your ass.
Right, right.
After today, that's all I need.
Standing doggy with Tony Tedeschi.
That's all I need.
I've seen all of Ginger Lynn's straight-to-video R-rated.
How fun.
Where she showed boobies.
And you masturbated to that?
You know what?
You know what?
Wild Man is on YouTube now.
Wild Man?
No.
It's on YouTube now, the whole movie.
You're kidding.
I haven't opened my present yet.
Nina's helping me out.
Open your present.
Let me open my present.
Right.
But we were saying, why do I do the goth thing?
I go to goth clubs.
I hang out with strange people.
I like that Suicide Girls look.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
No, not the website.
Girls that are actually suicidal.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, you're Captain Save-A-Ho.
Yes.
Exactly.
Ginger just opened her present.
You're a fan.
Now, Nina, you probably don't know what this is.
Of course I do.
I'm older than you.
I love trolls.
But you don't know that I collect trolls.
You would if you did research because you were coming on my show.
I have thousands of trolls.
I've lost all of mine.
Do you have that troll?
I do not have.
I don't have any baby trolls.
It's a naked troll, too.
They've made them cuter.
Oh, he's got a kiss on his ass.
Oh, my gosh.
That's adorable.
I love trolls.
Wait a minute.
That is a kiss, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
A little heart tattoo.
It's a heart.
It's adorable.
Oh, my God.
On his ass.
Oh, my God.
And I collect trolls.
I love them.
I had trolls back in 1965, sweetheart.
I also got you an adult kiss, but I'm sure it's kind of silly.
Oh, how have I not seen trolls?
Oh, there's more?
You've never seen trolls?
No, I've seen them.
I know you're younger than us, but yeah.
Ginger has thousands of them, and not one has crossed my path.
There you can see one right there.
They're not in the garden.
They're not in- There's two in the office.
I haven't seen them.
You have not looked.
That's so strange.
When I was in first grade, my parents bought me an 18-inch high troll, and I took it to school because I was so proud of it, and someone stole it.
I would still have that.
I loved that doll.
I loved trolls.
Now, there's somebody who should reach in their pants and really give them a good going over.
Do you know what this is?
Which is it?
Okay, what this is is when I was a little girl, there was a doll.
It was Barbie and Ken.
I thought Ken was the biggest faggot ever, and I don't mean that in the bad way.
My brother's gay, and he has the word faggot across his chest.
But your brother has a dick.
He does.
Ken does not.
Ken does not, but I just had a big issue with Ken.
Right.
And so I had a troll with orange hair, one of them that are about this big, and his name was Elphie.
This is now Elphie and Barbie's son and his daughter.
This is Barfie.
Barfie.
Barfie.
Barfie.
I love Barfie to Ginger Lynn.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh.
No, I love my- I love that.
I made doll houses.
I made furniture for my trolls.
I did everything but make clothes.
I can't believe you had trolls.
Oh, my God.
I love that.
This is the- Oh, my God.
I know.
I got it.
And I gave you some head, too, but that's a whole other thing.
Who was it?
Angeline gave me a- Good head.
I want to give you good heads for Valentine's Day.
Better flavor.
Better.
Now, let me ask you.
Is this dual purpose for men and women?
Or just for the man?
I'm not sure.
Let's- You know what?
Let's find out.
I have- Oh, no.
Hang on.
I thought you knew all about it.
All of these flavors.
That's always scared me because I thought it would make his dick numb if I tried it.
Do you want to give me head?
Is it for me or you?
I do not believe- Me or your voice?
I do not believe in flavored things.
If I don't like the taste of your stuff, I don't want to eat you at all, and covering it up with goo will not help.
That's something I would never use, personally speaking.
It doesn't make no sense.
I think that's numbing.
No, if you don't smell basically like- It's not supposed to be- Soap and sweat.
Here's the thing.
Since it's my gift to you, put makeup on your man.
Oh, I don't think so.
I don't think he'll go there.
Mystical.
Oh, this is for the boy.
Is it numbing?
Mystical mint goodhead.
If you put mint on the end of a penis, it's going to burn.
You must not do that.
No, it's not.
Just like Dr. Bronner's.
It's paraben free and pH balanced.
You know what?
Is that being used for women?
I'm not sure.
I think it should, right?
It's goodhead.
It doesn't specify.
It does not specify.
It's paraben free, pH balanced.
It's paraben free, pH balanced.
It's pH balanced.
Nick, honey, may I suck your cock tonight?
Hee hee hee.
No, you may not.
No, Ginger, don't suck my cock.
You know what my cock is?
I have to tell you a story.
My boyfriend is completely colorblind.
Oh, no.
So am I.
Are you really?
Yeah, that's part of the reason I wear all black.
Because I don't have to match.
Yeah, because you don't have to worry about it.
It's slimming and I don't have to match.
Perfect.
Actually, you can get mismatched blacks.
There's blue blacks, green blacks, brown blacks.
And gray blacks.
Actually, blacks, you have to be careful.
And it's funny because people think like, you know, because I'm goth, they expect me to be like skinny like Marilyn Manson.
And you don't understand.
If you go to a goth club.
You're a manly man, baby.
No, I am a manly man.
I wear the makeup.
I don't look androgynous at all.
Not at all.
No.
No, no.
If you go to a goth club, no goth guys work out.
So they're either really skinny or really fat.
So it looks like binary code.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, so that's sort of what I do in my act.
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's actually.
What I'm going to do with this is being.
Do you have jokes about lunch pails?
I have lunch pails.
Lunch pails.
Because, yeah, I went to a goth club and I was underage and they told me, just tell them that you left your lunch pail at home.
Oh, that's hilarious.
And I thought it would never work in a million years.
Totally.
And I walked up and I was like.
What does it mean?
ID.
And I was like.
Because girls wear, they carry like Hello Kitty lunch pails or gothies themed Nightmare Before Christmas lunch pails.
They don't have purses.
They have lunch pails.
Right.
The metal ones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember.
Yeah, yeah.
That's funny.
We're not going anywhere.
We're going to be right back.
But in the meantime, I want to know.
Are you looking for something to spice things up in the bedroom?
Have you been fantasizing about surprising your lover with an adventurous new toy or adult movie?
Have you, Nina?
Well, always.
Yes.
Well, here's an offer you won't be able to resist.
Really?
Yeah, absolutely.
I want you to go to AdamandEve.com and for a limited time only, you'll get 50% off just about anything.
I mean, you can get any item, but that's not all.
That's a big break.
That's not all.
Oh, no.
No?
When you select your one item at 50% off, you'll also receive three free adult DVDs.
Wow.
Three?
Three.
Just for a little inspiration.
You're going to not need it, but you're going to get it anyway.
Plus, we'll throw in a free gift so central we can't mention it on the radio.
And if you listen to my show, you know that there are very few things we don't mention on the radio.
Wow.
Wow.
What could that be?
Wow.
I know.
I can't tell you.
But to top it off, we'll even throw in free shipping on your entire order.
And no, I am not teasing.
Wow.
I do tease.
I'm not teasing.
No, not at all.
So check out AdamandEve.com today for this special offer.
Get 50% off one item.
When you type ginger for the offer code upon checkout, when you do, you get three free DVDs, a free gift, and free shipping.
Wow.
Just use offer code ginger, G-I-N-G-E-R, at AdamandEve.com.
That's AdamandEve.com.
We'll be right back here on Blame It on Ginger with...
Nina Hartley.
And...
Dark Mark.
And...
Stevie!
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Whores and horrors with Miss Kelly Nichols.
You're going to get inside, Kelly.
You're going to get to tickle my fancy.
Guess what's up Ginger's ass.
One of my favorite games.
We'll put something up there.
Blindfold Kelly.
She's going to get down on her hands and knees and eat it out and see if she can guess what's been up in my butt.
We've got queer quote, queer, queer quote, queer quote, queer quote.
Mystery X rated 3000 theater.
We've got gross out the horror game.
Educating Gina.
And talking dirty to me as well as many, many other things.
That's Thursday's whores and horrors with Ginger Lynn and Kelly Nichols.
She was shining like a star.
The beads of sweat were glistening as she and I were christening my car in Shangri-La.
And as it was in the tradition, we'd run the gauntlet out.
Physicians from routine to acrobatic and bizarre.
She said, now show me what you've got.
She looked so purely hedonistic as my insides went ballistic for the money shot.
And as the rhapsody subsided.
We eyed and thoughtly spoken.
She confided her misguided plan to me.
And she smiled like a child.
And she said, I want to live a life of sin.
I want to be like Ginger Lynn.
La la dee dee.
La la dee dee.
La la dee dee.
La la dee dee.
Oh, you know, whenever I hear that.
Be like Ginger Lynn.
Be happy.
Be healthy.
Be horny.
And never, ever, ever pass up an opportunity to have an orgasm.
And you can be just like her.
I never.
You know what?
I never.
I never.
Pass up an opportunity to have an orgasm.
And I have to tell you one quick thing.
We've got me in studio at Ginger Lynn with.
Neen Hartley.
And.
Dark Mar.
And.
TV.
Yes.
TV.
I have been.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost six years now.
And for some reason, we are having the best fucking sex ever in the entire world.
When you've been together 14 years, it'll be even better.
It just keeps getting better and better and better and better.
Awesome.
So.
When I heard the song, I want to live a life of like Ginger Lynn.
I want to live a life of sin.
I'm just going, you know what?
I hope, I pray, I wish for everyone out there to have the best orgasms and the best sex and the best relationships and the best communication with their lover.
Ever.
I'm going to burp.
Ever.
Well, actually, I was Googling both of you and I saw some pictures and I had some really good sex last night.
Oh, yeah.
Did you?
Oh, yeah.
With who?
I watched Wild Man, too.
It was crazy.
Oh, you watched?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
We'll talk about it on my show.
That's a whole different thing.
Oh, my God.
That was my very first straight mainstream.
Get out.
Hardly mainstream.
It's like, yeah, it was, there was maybe, yeah, it wasn't a blockbuster.
It was like at the other video store that, like the regular movies are out, but they have Wild Man on there.
So it was great.
You know what?
Straight to video is okay.
Or straight to DVD, whatever.
We've done plenty of straight to DVD stuff.
But you know what?
My sister was in it.
Oh, this being Ginger Lynn and this being Nina Hartley.
We are.
We are totally into butt sex because we like, we, we like.
I love things in my ass.
Yes.
I like fingers.
I like penises.
I like certain toys.
Tongues?
Um, yeah.
Tongues?
Tongues.
Not tongues.
Oh, I thought you said tongues.
I'm like.
Yeah, I thought maybe you had some indigestion.
I haven't tried that.
Should I put a tongue in my ass?
Well, you put an Altoid in there, right?
I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't mean receiving analingus, but tongue fucking my butt.
Meh.
Yeah.
Um, finger.
I'd rather have a fingertip than a tongue tip in my ass.
Because a fingertip has more.
Really?
It's strong.
What about you?
Airborne.
I think airborne.
It's stronger.
Oh, really?
Okay.
A fingertip is stronger than a tongue tip so it can stretch the muscle the way that I like as opposed to, you know, plus also after a while your tongue gets tired.
Steve, you're right down for tomorrow.
I want to put, um, uh, cinnamon hearts in my butt.
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
No, you don't want to do that.
How are you?
Nina's guide to anal sex.
I need to see this.
You do.
But.
So.
What if I.
Cinnamon and, cinnamon and minty things are Bernie things.
Cinnamon is, remember cinnamon, um, how they make your mouth hot?
Do you want to put one on my butt and see how it feels?
I've got a bag of them.
That is your, I.
I'll go get them.
I wouldn't do that.
Stevie, go get the cinnamon.
I would not do that to my ass, but that's just.
Oh, you do it to Ginger's ass.
No, no.
Do it to my ass.
She's going to do it to her own ass.
But.
It's my butt.
I know, but you know what?
You're going to be driving home in half an hour and you're going to be uncomfortable all the way home.
No, I put it in.
Then I'll get it back out.
Is it going to be that bad?
Really?
If it melts and the cinnamon touches your tender anal mucosa, it'll be quite uncomfortable.
I have a condom.
What if I put it.
What about a syrup?
It wouldn't matter.
Any minty thing.
Minty things.
But if I put a condom in my butt first.
Well, then what good would, then, then, then what?
Because we can see how many, how many things we can put in my butt.
That we can just.
Okay.
Nevermind.
We'll do it another night.
I'm giving Ginger all sorts of strange ideas.
I'm going, you know what?
No, no, no.
I don't want to put cinnamon in my butt.
I don't want to put cinnamon hearts in my butt.
Open them up.
I'll eat one for now.
There we go.
And remind yourself how it feels on your tongue.
Oh, you didn't find them.
I brought an army man instead.
The bat you put a condom on.
Do you want to put an army man in my butt?
And I brought a fun dip.
What the fuck?
Oh, do you want to eat fun dip out of my butt?
I don't even know what fun dip is.
Is that a rhetorical question?
What is fun dip?
Fun dip.
Magically changes color.
It does.
You put it on my butt.
Raz apple.
And then you dip.
Magic dip.
And then you dip it in with this.
There's.
This hard candy thing.
This is a powder that you pour on my butt.
Uh-huh.
And then you eat it off with this.
And you put it in there with a troll because it's magical.
No, no.
Don't touch the troll now.
You know what?
You're going to have to get Kelly Jabardi.
I love you.
I love you madly.
Although, you know what?
I'm just going to eat some now.
On your butt cheek is fine.
You might be onto something, Stevie, because you can put a troll in the butt of the hair.
You can pull it right out.
Yeah.
Love.
It's kind of like an ass tampon.
Okay.
Is you open this up a little bit further.
It's powder.
I did that.
It hurt.
And then lick a stick.
Lick that.
And then you dip it in.
I put a tampon in it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Did you really?
Yeah.
Ooh.
It's like, hold on.
We're having two different conversations.
This is great.
Yeah.
Okay.
Imagine that in my butthole.
Let me see.
That's what I'm doing.
And then your butt would turn blue and then green.
That's okay.
I love you, but I'm not going to eat blue goo out of your butt, Jingle.
I have baby wipes.
I have baby wipes.
I have baby wipes.
I have baby wipes.
I love you, but- There's a red one.
I can do red.
Oh, the baby one, but no, but- Even red would be worse.
No, this is really good.
It's like rattleberry.
It's delicious, but that would look, yeah, it's- Are you having flashbacks of Foxy?
I did eat- Okay, Justin, your butt.
So back to Dark Mark in studio with us.
So your choices are- Yes.
Putting things in my butt.
20 things that belong in your butt.
Don't belong in your butt.
That don't belong in your butt.
All right, let's just go on to the 20 things that don't belong in your butt.
No, no.
I didn't know I had a choice.
Let's see if we can find 20 things that do belong in your butt.
Okay.
Okay.
Where's that pen?
I like that.
Okay, okay.
We've already gotten through a few.
CV pen, please.
Okay, here you go.
Okay.
So we've already discovered that- Fingers.
So fingers.
Penis.
Penis.
Penis.
Good choices.
Tongue.
My penis.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Tongue can fit.
I'm sorry.
Erectile thermometer.
Erectile thermometer.
Erectile thermometer.
Uh-huh.
That's four.
Tongue.
One, two, three.
I've got tongues here.
Boston baked beans.
Oh, what are those things that melt?
Only coming down from the other direction.
Boston baked beans.
No, Boston baked beans are great in your butt because the outside shell does not melt.
You can put as many as you want in without a condom.
Oh, you're talking about the candy.
The candy.
Oh, we thought you were like pork and beans.
I didn't know what you were talking about.
Oh, the candy Boston baked beans.
That's what started CVing.
I'm thinking what I like in my butt.
Dildo.
Dildo, of course.
A butt plug.
Of course.
Did we say fingers yet?
Yeah, we did.
We did.
A butt plug.
A suppository.
Sure.
Yeah.
It goes in there.
Because you have to, you might want to clean out before you can.
I heard that butt plug, butt plug.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
That's only eight.
We have enema.
Enema.
Enema.
Enema.
Licorice sticks.
Okay.
Licorice sticks.
Twizzlers, I think they're called.
What about candy canes?
Candy canes?
Now, we're back to the mint thing.
I can't.
No, no, no.
That's right.
Altoids, yeah.
But the candy, I will say this about candy canes.
Most of them are such a low mint thing that that would be something you could risk for a few minutes because that would wash off with water or spit.
Yeah, but not altoids, not mint.
Not the super duper duper.
Champagne.
Oh, you get so drunk that way.
Oh, yeah.
When you put alcohol up your butt, you get so drunk.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
Have you put alcohol on your butt?
Have you drank champagne out of your butt?
No.
I would.
Because I'm going to say, again, this is why Ginger and I make such a good team because she's so.
And she's like, wow.
I'm like, and then there's ER.
Put it in.
So for people who want to play with alcohol and enemas, know a couple of things.
First, you can really get seriously alcohol poisoning that way.
So no hard liquor.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no hard liquor because then you have that breath stopping, heart stopping death.
If it ruins the party, don't do it.
Whoa.
If you're going to use wine, dilute the wine.
So take the two glasses of wine that you would have drunk.
Okay.
Dilute that with another two to three glasses of water and do your enema thing and hold it.
That's five cups of liquid in your butt.
And then by the time you hold it up for 20 minutes and poop, you'll be butt fucking all night long.
Can you mix it with coffee?
Whoa!
I've done a coffee enema.
You were bouncing for how many days?
How many days were you bouncing around the walls?
It was the most amazing feeling ever.
I took a douche.
I emptied it out.
Filled it with coffee.
Put it in my butt.
And it was just this, you know that like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa thing?
Like if you accidentally go to eat the whipped cream out of a whipped cream can and you just get the liquid?
The Whippets?
Yeah.
Yeah, if you accidentally do that.
The little gun chargers?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
No, it's just good old-fashioned whipped cream.
There's the candy.
There's the caffeine that really gave you a whole like...
There's the caffeine that gave you, yeah, yeah.
So just be really super careful.
Be careful with the alcohol in the butt thing because...
And the coffee.
And the coffee.
That will just be up for days.
You might have heart palpitations and that's another thing that might send you to the ER.
And it would...
It can be sent to the ER with a racing heart going, oh my gosh, I feel like I'm going to die.
Or it can be sent to the ER with a stop breathing because you are dead.
So no hard liquor.
Am I making bad choices here in my life?
You have Nick to look after you.
Honey.
Make sure that you don't hurt yourself.
No more coffee.
No more coffee in my butt.
No, no.
The coffee that...
No more...
But...
Oh.
No.
The coffee is...
Makes your heart race.
Okay.
It's not going to kill you.
But I won't die.
What about the champagne?
Just take your dosage carefully.
So if you wouldn't drink that much champagne, don't put that much champagne in your butt.
Oh, I can drink a lot.
I got it.
I'm assuming absinthe is out.
Here's what I...
No absinthe in the butt.
No distilled alcohol because that can burn the delicate tissues and then you have...
And then you have perforated rectums and ow, bad.
No jet lags.
I have a question.
No Jack Daniels.
No Jack Daniels.
I'm too sure that your student has a question.
I love Jack Daniels, but I'm delicate.
I can't drink beer.
I have to have Jack Daniels.
I wouldn't put any hard alcohol...
I've never put champagne in my butt.
The most extreme thing I put in my butt...
Is coffee.
No.
Yeah, I figured.
I mean, the most extreme thing you put in your butt was Charlie Sheen, let's be honest.
Liquid.
Yeah.
Didn't put him in my butt.
Really?
Did not put Charlie Sheen in my butt.
No.
You didn't want it.
That's probably a good choice.
That's a wild one.
Not every guy...
I have one lover who is like Charlie, the hot, passionate vanilla guy, and he's not interested in my butt.
You want to know a secret about Dark Mark, ladies?
What's that?
I've never had anal sex.
You've never had anal sex?
It's not worth having...
With a girl or a boy?
Unless...
Or anybody.
No, no.
I've never had anal sex.
Well, I'm a heterosexual, so yeah, no.
It's not worth having anal sex unless a girl really wants you there.
I mean, for me, the big...
Yeah.
90% of butt sex...
90% of butt sex is getting my partner to the point where a thumb in their butt to the first knuckle is awesomely good.
Right.
That's 90% of butt sex.
Okay.
And once that feels awesomely good all the time, then you can negotiate how thick, how long is the thing going to be.
See, I have such long stretches between when I have sex, so the vagina is still fascinating.
So I'm not even...
The vagina is very fascinating.
It's amazing.
Well, now I'm confused.
This is amazing.
What's the confusing?
What confused?
So, okay.
I love the dick.
Yes.
I love my dick in my ass.
I have this little turn on thing that's kind of kinky.
No.
Okay, so my...
Ginger Lynn has something kinky.
I know, right?
Okay, here's one of my favorite things, and I haven't done it in like four months.
Four months?
Four months.
So my man licks my pussy, eats my asshole.
Right.
I'm soaking wet.
My pussy juices are soaking down onto my ass.
Right.
That's making it wetter and wetter.
He takes his dick.
I grab it from...
He's behind me.
I put the dick in my ass.
I put the dick in my ass ever so slowly, ever so slightly.
Nice, nice.
Doggy style.
My head, my chest are down in the mattress.
My ass is up in the air.
He's fucking me in the ass.
Oh, nice.
And then he stops.
Oh, my God.
Does not move.
That is fetch.
That's fetch.
That does not move.
Is he in or is he out?
He's in.
He's in my ass.
He's just in all the way.
All the way.
He'll stop for 60 seconds.
Oh, no.
He lets it go limp?
Let's it go...
No, it never goes limp.
Oh, shit.
He lets it go.
Down from full on erection and he will piss in...
My pussy just throbbed.
He will piss in my ass.
Now, is that...
That's perfectly fine.
Okay.
There's no danger.
Urine is on the list.
Urine is on the list, apparently.
What goes in your ass?
Okay.
Urine in my ass.
Urine?
That's perfectly fine.
Unless he's on some kind of really strong...
Potato chips.
Unless he is on some very strong oral medication that is excreted through the urine instead of the liver, that's fine.
The only oral medication Nick is on is pussy juice.
Then it's a perfectly fine thing.
And I think he's fine with that.
And by the way, pussy juice cures a lot of ills.
It does.
It cures depression.
No, it cures depression.
It's a holistic medicine.
It cures loneliness.
It cures...
It cures a bottle.
It cures a bottle.
It cures a bottle.
That's the cure for cancer.
I'm convinced.
Nina was a little upset when she came in today.
I would like to cure you.
I was.
I was.
Oh, my gosh.
Well, we're...
Ginger has her leg up.
We're having a healing here.
And Nina is down.
Nina is down.
Nina is down.
Nina is down.
Nina is down.
Nina is just going for it.
Nina has ginger's...
Those are labia, right?
I'm learning this stuff now.
Those...
It's my dirty cunt.
And she's licking it clean.
I am speechless.
I don't know what to say.
This is...
And she's licking it clean.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my God.
Nina is taking my clit, but not just the head, the whole hood, the whole clit, and she's sucking on it like it's a little tiny cock.
Just pulling.
Just pulling.
And...
Fuck me.
I'm familiar with this motion.
This is good.
She's licking...
Oh, now she's doing this back and forth motion.
Somebody else talk.
It's radio.
You can't have...
Keep talking.
You can see Nina's head going back and forth and back and forth.
Yeah, you got...
Come over here close to me.
You get a better view.
I really need to.
Hold on one second here.
Because I've seen everything.
Now I've got a view.
Okay.
What do you think?
Do you like my view?
Well, I think this is amazing.
I think I'm glad I woke up this morning.
And she is...
Nina Hartley, very expertly...
Is she a...
Is she a...
This is why we need to get her...
Now she's not going back and forth.
Now she's inside...
For her guy to pussy eat it.
She appears to be right inside.
Her tongue seems to be really deep in there.
And I can see it's working.
Ginger just put her leg down.
So something's happening here.
She's kind of...
There's a little squatty position.
And now she's got to go back in her chair.
And Nina's following her.
She's not going anywhere.
She's falling backwards.
And her pussy is like a magnet.
The vagina magnet pulled Nina Hartley to the chair.
Ginger is laying back.
Her eyes are...
Oh, she's falling.
She's falling backwards.
She's falling backwards.
And her pussy is like a magnet.
The vagina magnet pulled Nina Hartley to the chair.
And I see the eyes going back in the back of her head.
Nina Hartley is slowing down, but not stopping.
And I hear the moaning.
I see this is...
I really have a need to leave the studio and go to the bathroom.
We can be right back.
No, no, no.
Just do it right now.
And so I see the nose.
Oh, the left leg is going up.
It's on the chair.
And then the right leg's going on the table.
And Nina's head is in between the legs.
Ginger's sitting.
She seems to be collapsing into the chair.
Ginger's just lounging like she's just at the pool.
She's got her legs open.
Her hands are back.
She is in ecstasy.
Yeah, she looks like she's on a floaty.
Wait a second.
No, but she's boning.
She looks like she was a little too relaxed for a second there.
Now she's really...
It's starting to happen.
I see the head going back and forth.
Nina Hartley's head is going back and forth, back and forth on that clit.
And Ginger Lynn is...
She is...
I can see the...
It's...
Oh, I see the legs moving.
There's a little toe twitch there.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Did you hear that, folks?
They can't hear that.
You have to tell them what they're missing.
I can't.
I...
Somebody talk.
There's a boning.
Somebody talk.
There's a boning.
She wants me to talk.
Somebody talk.
But please pay attention to the moans in the background because Nina is really going to town.
Now she appears to be going in an up and down motion.
Now she's back and forth.
She seems to be on the clit now.
I think she's doing the clit again.
She's going back and forth on the clit.
And you can hear it.
You can hear Ginger.
You can hear her moaning.
She's breathing.
She's breathing heavily.
Ginger's nipples are hard.
She's salivating.
That's true.
She's breathing harder than I am after a workout.
It's crazy.
She's got a light glistening on her legs.
Oh my goodness.
There's a lot of glistening.
Nina is using her tongue.
I have no doubt about it.
And Nina's working.
This is an expert at work, folks.
I can see she's shifting position.
Her head is shifting position.
A little bit to the right?
It was...
Yeah.
She didn't...
Nina's going for it.
I mean, if this was a sport, how would you...
She knows...
She knows that she...
Ginger has just put her hands on the back of Nina's head.
She just grabbed the head and pushed it into her.
She is pulling it in.
Right.
Right.
And as you should.
Yeah.
I love it when guys do that, when they just grab your head and just put it where it needs to go.
Yeah.
And that's what Ginger just did.
I love her.
Oh.
Here's a magic potion.
Ginger looks like she wants to cry right now.
She is very emotional.
Look at that.
Are you having a crygasm?
What's going on here?
Now they're kissing, sharing the lovely vagina juice in their mouths.
They're curing each other.
They're curing each other.
This is a passionate, passionate kiss.
Smiles all around.
I see Nina Hartley smiling.
And I see Ginger...
Oh, she's...
Oh, she's smiling too.
That is...
Oh.
That is...
Oh my God.
Nina is the...
You are the expert on fucking everything.
You really, really are.
I felt like I was calling a football game, like I was the play by play.
Oh.
Oh, that was nice.
That was a...
Hold on.
Good job.
Let's see if it works.
That was a lot better than Super Bowl, I'll tell you that.
High five.
Are you squirting?
Yeah, I just want you to hear it.
I can't hear it.
Oh, get the other one.
Okay.
Oh, she's smiling.
Oh, she's smiling.
Oh, give me that one.
This one's good.
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
This one's...
I just handed Ginger the microphone.
I warmed it up for you, Nick.
I'm not hearing it.
Is it on?
Is that mic hot?
You know what?
It's...
It's not hot.
It's just...
Hold on, hold on. ...
slippery.
Oh, it's not on.
There we go.
That mic's hot.
Okay, wait.
Ooh.
Oh, that...
Are we hearing Nina's...
Oh, I can't.
That is my pussy juice.
Oh, you have to taste it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, you said to taste the clean, healthy...
Nothing tastes better than healthy pussy.
I've got the best pH balance ever.
You do.
You really do.
We have a lot of pH balance.
Ladies and gentlemen, you just heard...
You have a lot of regular sex with someone you love. ...
Ginger Lynn's pussy juice.
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
You wish you could kiss me now.
Mmm.
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
You guys can kiss me.
Why not?
Okay, I can.
You know what I mean?
The girls are kissing again.
They are kissing again.
They just can't get enough.
Hard, passionate kiss.
Ginger has her hand.
On the throat.
Back of...
Yeah.
On the throat.
And on the back of the head.
But gently, gently...
And oh, my goodness.
Oh, fuck me.
Fuck me.
She is so fun.
I love her.
Oh.
I love this girl.
This girl is an amazing girl.
Oh, Ginger, could you take the boyfriend outside for a tour of downtown?
I gotta fuck Ginger right now.
I'll be right back.
Yeah, I'd have to kill you.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, look it up.
Trust me, that's what...
Or die trying.
Yes.
We have Dark Mark in studio.
Dark Mark, you've got your own show here on...
Skid Row Studios.com.
Thursday nights at eight, from eight to nine.
This week we have Tesla LaCoyle.
Last time she was on, my co-host Ginger tased her nipples.
Wow.
Did you co-host Ginger?
No, did I say Ginger?
You did.
I was like, oh.
Freudian Slick.
Those were my nipples.
Josie.
Josie.
She might be bringing a bed of nails.
I'm not sure.
Wow.
We have Ruby Carrera, who's a rock guitarist.
She's been around the Sunset Strip forever.
And just booked her.
Six foot eight model.
The tallest model in the world.
Amazon Eve.
Wow.
This will be a fun show.
Thursday night from eight to nine.
It's going to be a great show.
And then in two weeks, we have Sinkweerin and Aaron Rossi from the band Ministry will be in studio.
Wow.
So seven to eight to nine every Thursday here at Skid Row Studios.com.
Every Thursday here at Skid Row Studios.
I can't even talk now.
You guys are moving.
Every Thursday, eight o'clock to nine o'clock, Skid Row Studios.com, The Dark Mark Show.
And if you want to follow me, I'm on Facebook, Twitter.
Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, all that.
Under Dark Mark.
Under Goth Comedian.
Goth Comedian.
So at Goth Comedian on Twitter.
At Goth Comedian on Twitter and Goth Comedian on Facebook.
And I have a comedy album on iTunes called Goth Comedian versus Drunken Heckler.
Oh my.
If you like dirty stuff, if you like comedians just putting a heckler in their place, you'll laugh your ass off.
We need to have you back on a Wednesday.
Wednesdays is The Crack, which is a comedy show that we have.
Rodelegraci.
Rodelegraci.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
When we celeb in celeb in celeb in celeb in celeb in celeb in celeb in celeb in celeb in celeb in I love Roe too That's here I love Roe It's four to six We have Monday through Friday here And Roe De La Grazie Is our Wednesdays is our The crack show Oh cool I'll let you get back Yes And I would love to have Both of you on Separately or together On my show At some point Nina and I Yeah since you stood me up For Valentine's Day I called you though Two days in advance You did I gave you advance You did I knew I was so sick I know I know Because I never Stand people up But at least I finally Got to give you your troll Yay Oh my god And I have my troll right here It's adorable It's so cute It's adorable I love it I make a troll Adorable I want to thank you so much For coming in today I want to thank you Me Steve Steve I want to thank Nina Hartley Thank you Nina Hartley We're right down to the wire here And I want to thank Everyone who listened in today To my My My everything Your everything Everything that I did today I want to thank you so much For listening to Playboy I'm Nina and Ginger We will be back tomorrow We've got more for you Don't go away Right here on Skid Row Studios dot com I didn't want it to end I want to live a life of sin I want to be like Ginger Lynn La la dee La la die Surrender to the boys And lies within I want to be like Ginger Lynn La la dee La la die!