!! Oh, there's Miss America. I really have no idea why you came up with this. I don't understand the Miss America thing either, but I like it. Well, have you seen yourself, Jeff? That's why. Aren't we talking about Miss America today? No. It's like the biggest thing happening this year. Really? Yeah. You wouldn't know it walking down Hollywood Boulevard. What else is important this year? The Razzies. What's that? The worst in film. They're a candy. From the 80s. No, those are Razzles. Damn it. There's also this little thing called... You're so clever, so I'll give it to you. There's also this little thing called... Everybody at home, ignore that I made that joke. The Oscars. We already have. What is that? What is this thing? The Oscars. Come on, where a bunch of old people vote on what's best in movies for the year. Old people. They're gross. I get it now. Anyway, hello, ladies and gentlemen. Oscar. Oscar's the gay one from The Office. Oh, my God. You're the gay one from The Office. I am the gay one. Never mind. Oh, boy. Anyway, hello, ladies and gentlemen. This is Jeff, a.k.a. The Phantom Kitten. And everyone else, please feel free to introduce yourselves. I am Frank Bennington, a.k.a. Bad Dutch Bad Boy. And nobody just heard him. Everybody heard him. I heard him. I heard him in my soul. We all heard him. I mean, Anastasia Washington. Anastasia Beaverhausen, a.k.a. Psycho Finlet, a.k.a. Darth Boobs. We have a fourth name now. A.k.a. Laser Boobs. Wait. And then on Wednesday, we came up with another one, but I don't remember. Are you trademarking all these? They're all trademarked. I'm just kidding. Patent pending. My boobs are patent pending. Your boobs are the zip code. Oh, boy. Oh, see what he did there was. You think she has huge knockers? Thank you. I'm going to eat a chicken and waffle. Let's do that. Potato chip. Potato chip. Delicious. Thank you. I did not have my words. I am Rachel Frumkin, a.k.a. Sassy Pants. I'm Ryan Swofford, also known as Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. The king. The king, yes. And I'm Nathan, the singularity. Ew. Ew. One singular sensation. Oh, it's turned into karaoke now. Strip tees. That was on The Simpsons. I was just really going to take off my jacket because I was hot, but now it's like a strip tease. It's a strip tease. Can you strip tease because you're hot? Yes. Good. Or are you hot because you strip tease? I don't know. It's a little bit of both. We have free beer on the show today. What, what? Free beer. Yeah, that works for me. Free beer is awesome. And chicken and waffle potato chips, which are like mind blowing. They really blew me. They're crazy. Yeah, I feel like. They make me feel like. They make my mind melt. I feel like we have Roscoe's in here, in the studio with us right now. But no mac and cheese. I feel like I'm cheating on Roscoe's, but without the mac and cheese. Right. But those are really good. Yeah. If you are at home, you need to go to your local 7-Eleven or other store. I got mine at Target. Yeah, I've heard that they were only available at Target. Maybe only at Target then. You need to go. You need to go get. Go somewhere and get them. You need to go get chicken and waffles chips and try them. And tweet us about it. And tell us how much you like that. Because that's just fucking weird and incredible. Yeah, send us pictures of your reaction faces. Yeah, we want to see your chicken and waffle O face. And then so they can become a permanent flavor for like Evers, vote for them. Yeah. Because the other flavors are sriracha and garlic cheese bread. Did you know Subway has creamy sriracha sauce now for their subs? Yeah, but at that point, like we were talking. I met with Babalu the other day. Like foods have trends. Like now we're ruining the sriracha trend. You know what I mean? Like at the point where you can go to Subway and get a creamy sriracha dressing. It's like, no. It's ruined. It's over. It's ruining it for us hipsters. How dare you ruin it. Why are you saying it like that? I don't know. Like what? Oh, that's the other part of the joke. Sorry. Because sriracha is from a very unique place like Mexico. Because you can't have Cuyahoga without Cuyahoga. Oh, I get it. No, you can't. Okay. It is show. The Oscars. Moving on. Has everyone seen everything that's nominated? No. I haven't seen more or what are they? Let me see. Oh, I'm going to start. And the nominations are? And the nominations are. Okay. I haven't seen Life. I haven't. Oh, wow. I haven't seen a lot of these. Me neither. I saw Silver Linings. I've seen three. I've seen Silver Linings. Silver Linings, Playbook, and Zero Dark Thirty. And the rest of them I haven't seen. Okay. So for everybody. But I read Life of Pi. It was a really good book. The list is Amour. I like Pi. The list is Amour, Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Django Unchained, Les Miserables, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings, Playbook, and Zero Dark Thirty. And you know, I've seen every one of those except for Amour. I've heard really good things about Amour though. I just can't find a copy of it online. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they're going to give it to Best Picture though because it's also nominated for Best Foreign Feature. Oh yeah. I feel like they're going to give it Best Foreign Feature and not Best Picture. They double... What is it that they... They double dipped. Yeah. But like they did it one year for like... Oh my God. My brain's not working. Was it Crossing Tiger, Red, and Dragon? Like they did it one year for like someone was nominated as like a Best Actress but they were also like a Best Supporting Actress so they were nominated for both. Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep. And like she didn't... Did she win either one? I think she won one of them. I don't remember exactly which one. Because it was like Sophie's Choice and something else, right? I thought that was the year. Maybe not. I could be wrong. No, I think it was here recently. Was it? Because I was like, and I don't remember her if she won either. I felt like it canceled each other out. What did she choose? Choose. What did she choose? Yeah. That was her Sophie's Choice of the night. Which one does she want? Which is more prestigious, best supporting actress or best actress? Oh boy. That's a tough one. I think she looked at one of her daughters and went, look, one day, this is not going to be you. But today this is me. So I will choose best actress. One day you'll be in a doctor show that will get canceled after two episodes. But her daughters are like, her daughters are like a teen. Her other daughter, not maybe the other one, like Emily or something, I think her name is. It's like in a teen drama soap on like Nickelodeon or something. There you go. That's her legacy. Great. Another Nickelodeon kid. The Gummer girls are hitting it up on TV. Who turns out better, you think? Nickelodeon kids or Disney Channel kids? Nickelodeon kids. You think so? But Disney Channel kids usually do better career wise, right? Well, like Disney Channel kids get like a record deal and like a clothing line and like all this nonsense as soon as they like sign up. Yeah, but what do they do later on in life? Yeah, that's what I mean. And there were so many seats from all of that. Just look at like the Mickey Mouse Club. Like, I don't know that I get that doesn't count as Disney Channel, but. But it was. It is. And a lot of people from that show, I guess when you're saying have to, but like Lance Morissette came from like, you can't do that on television. And she did well. Kenan Thompson came from a Nickelodeon show. He's on SNL now. But you know, a lot of those. I mean, but that's two. It was a time. Like there's probably more. You can't do that on television, kids. We're probably not tied down to such an extensive contract. Well, true, because I don't think it was Nickelodeon. Right. It was like Canada. It was actually a Canadian show. It was like Nickelodeon via Canada. Plus then you have people like Britney Spears' sister, who, you know, she did great for herself too. Right. I don't know. I guess I would probably say Disney has more successes later in life. I'm sure there's a lot of like successes on Nickelodeon. I just can't like. On the other hand, Disney also has more fuck ups later in life. Excuse me. That's true. I feel like Alanis Morissette like hasn't fucked up. That much, you know, versus. She's doing pretty good for herself. She's been redeemed because she slept with Ryan Reynolds for a number of years. But I think it also. Okay. I think a lot of it, to be honest, has nothing really to do with like what network you come from. It comes from like the support system you have supporting you. Like if you had. Wait, childhood actors don't have lives? But I'm saying like, you know, like a lot of those kids have like maybe the Disney kids, maybe those parents. Some of them are, you know. Yeah. Some of them are like the horrendous stage mothers, like, you know, sing out Louise kind of people. For. For all those who don't. A lot of them have good support. For all those who don't know at home, Stacey was clothed and fed by Bruce Willis. Oh boy. As a kid. And I'm well adjusted. Yeah. Yeah. Oh boy. Why? Is something out? There she goes. Oh my God. Is it in place now? Okay. I'm not. I mean, I just, I do think that it. I do think that it's a little bit. I mean, I just, I do think that it's a little bit. I mean, I just, I do think that it. I do think it matters. I do think it matters. Like, I think you look at like how Disney basically runs their childhood stars lives. I mean, I think it matters. Like, I don't think the Jonas Brothers really did have a life outside of what they were doing, et cetera, because they were managed 24 seven. But I don't know if that was Disney or if that was their parent or the family. Plus, I feel like they had enough time to get laid a lot, so they must have had some kind of life. But they had purity rings. They were virgins. They had the purity ring thing going on. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. And we haven't learned that that was just a ploy. Yeah. What? PR stunt. But I read it on the internet. The internet never lies. The interweb is always true. So sorry I derailed the conversation from Oscars and Razzies. Yeah. Okay. Shh. Nathan. Shh. Okay. Shh. So anyway. I hear a shh come from all over the room. It always comes from all over the room. Get used to it. No one always comes all over the room. Not from all over the room. I'm so confused. I'm going to take a... Get another chip. Okay. So you know what? We're going to switch from the Oscars right now and go to the worst picture nominations for the Razzies. What are those? What are they? We have Nathan. Battleship. Oh, I couldn't even watch five minutes of that. And cute boys were in cute half naked men were in that one. And I can't even watch it. Alexander Skarsgard was in it. I haven't tried it. I know. And Liam Neeson. Even. Even. Even. Even Skarsgard. Even Skarsgard was in that. And Tyler Cage couldn't make me watch that show, make me watch that movie for two hours. And then we have That's My Boy. Oh, that's a good one. With Adam Sandler. Did anybody but me see that? I didn't see either one of those movies. I didn't know that was a thing. Did anybody but me see That's My Boy? I didn't see. No. Okay. So. I think that says something for our taste in movies. So spoiler alert. Spoiler alert at home. I don't think you have to spoiler alert That's My Boy. No one's going to fucking see it. So That's My Boy. That's My Boy. That's My Boy is about what's his face? His son. Adam Sandler. Yeah, but who played Andy Sandberg. Andy Sandberg, yeah. So Andy Sandberg- Which isn't Andy Sandberg's- Is a long abandoned son of Adam Sandler, who goes into investment banking and dates a girl whose only using- Liam Neeson. Yeah whose only using him for his money. Meanwhile, she's fucking her brother. No joke. What? They catch her several times- No, no! He just ruined it for me. Wow. who played Jesse on Gilmore Girls. That never happens ever. Who's Jesse on Gilmore Girls? Excuse me. Milo Ventimiglia from Heroes. Jess on Gilmore Girls. Anyway, so... The guy from Heroes. She never watched it. His name is too difficult to pronounce. It's like Milo Magdalena. It's Milo Ventimiglia. Is he hot? Is he hot? Yeah. He's okay. And he writes comic books now too. Oh, yeah. He's super dreamy. He's adorable. Did you ever... You know, he's in Fergie's video, Big Girls Don't Cry. The only good part about the movie is that they are friends with Vanilla Ice. And Vanilla Ice is featured several times in the movie. Does he go by Vanilla Ice or does he go by Rob? He goes by Vanilla Ice. That's sweet. He used to date Hayden Pettitieri. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That dude. I forgot about that. That guy. He also dated Alexis Bledel for like... Anyway, that movie was pretty fucked up. So I want that in the running for worst movie of the year. Okay. It is. Good. Next. It wasn't funny and it just was like, what the fuck are you thinking? Next up, speaking of not funny, the new Eddie Murphy movie, A Thousand Words. Okay. Wait, I saw that movie. I didn't even know. I hadn't heard of that. I saw that movie. Eddie Murphy has a new film out. Well, it came out a few months ago. You guys didn't see the trailer? It came out a year ago. And he gets cursed and he can only say a word and a leaf will fall out of his tree in his backyard. Yeah. And when all the leaves fall, he dies. Really, Hollywood, where the fuck do you come up with this shit? Here's the thing. Because he talks too much. It's like Liar Liar in a new... I was just about to say that. Millennium. I watched that movie. And two good things about that movie. One, I didn't have to listen to Eddie Murphy overact like he does nowadays. And two, the guy that plays his assistant, Clark Duke, is, I think, an amazing comedian. Like, he was in a shitty movie. But he's an amazing comedic actor. He's super funny. And like in everything he does, he's always like the best. Oh, he's from Kick-Ass and Hot Tub Time Machine. So, yeah, he was in Hot Tub Time Machine, Kick-Ass. He was in Greek. He's in The Office right now. I mean, everything this kid does is good. And he looks like he's your type. He's good. He's a good actor. Yeah. And it's Rachel's type. And next up for Worst Picture, we have, of course, Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2. Also didn't see. I have not seen any of the Razzies. Didn't see that one. I have that poster up in my room. And you have the t-shirt on right now. Right now. Guys, guys. And the vibrator. It's Team Jacob and Edward. Hey, you can't be both. Yes, you can. I swing both ways. You can be Switzerland. Sometimes you can be both ways. You can be Switzerland. It's okay. You know, I really have to say, I felt that the Razzies just chose all these nominations for Twilight to just basically bash the film. It's like, you know what? We get it. They're not great movies. There are worse movies out there, though. Oh, boy. Go watch Beautiful Creatures. It's good. Next up. Oh, my God. Yes. Yes. Go watch Beautiful Creatures. Beautiful Creatures. And the last nominee for Worst Picture is The Oogie Loves and The Big Balloon Adventure. I kind of wanted to see it. Didn't see it. But I was a little scared. But I wanted to see it. I had these emotions. Like, I was scared. But I wanted to see it. But I didn't want to see it. I was scared. You're excited. It's... Wow. I walked into... What is The Oogie Loves? The Oogie Loves? It's a kid's movie. It's the most expensive movie ever made to make the least amount of money back. And they wanted to do it. I was working at the theater when this movie was playing. And I went in and saw parts of it. It was horrible. I don't even think my two-year-old niece went to see it. It was encouraging. It was, like, even encouraging kids to get up and dance in the aisles and all this shit. Yeah, it was supposed to be interactive. And it had, like, all kinds of famous people in it. It's by the same people. It's by the same guy that did the television. Christopher Lloyd was in it. Are the Oogie Loves... This is not animated, is it? Are the Oogie Loves a... Think of the Teletubbies on crack. Are the Oogie Loves, like, a thing? Like, are they the Teletubbies? Like, have they had television shows and stuff? No, no, no. The guy that made the movie, his thinking behind it was he was going to make this, like, really big, expensive movie, get all these kids to see it, and then that would start this new... This new thing. This new, yeah, this new trend. So it would be the new Teletubbies. And it's just... It made $230 total. It cost a billion dollars. It made $230 total. But then he thought... Really? Like, that's not an exaggeration? It actually made... No, it made a little bit more. When they interviewed him about it, he was like, great, I at least have the worst movie of all times. And I'm getting credit for that. You know, like, I'm at least getting publicity for having the worst movie. His motto was, any publicity is good publicity. It has Carrie Uels in it. It has Christopher Lloyd. I feel like we should not let him get the Razzie then, because that just feeds into his, like, thing. Exactly. It'd be like if Uwe Boll won for, like, The Room or something, you know? Yeah, fuck that. It just feeds into it. I think we should give it to That's My Boy. But you should just see the cast. Because Adam Sandler needs to know to give up. Just stop. You should see the cast. The cast is actually, like, these are good people. Yeah, because little kids usually care about the celebrity of the people voicing their characters. No, no, they're in it. It's not people voicing them. It's people, like, in it. No, but you know what I mean? Like, little kids have no idea who Christopher Lloyd is. But they wanted it to be, like, an interactive movie, like, where you actually do things during the movie and with your family, and you make a fool of yourself with your family. Because that's just what every parent wants. Hyperactive kids running down the aisles at movie theaters. Seriously. Just to clarify. I'm going to be throwing my popcorn everywhere. Just to clarify, it actually made a little over $1 million. It cost $20 million to make. Its opening per screen average was $206. Whoa. That's bad. Whoa. You know. And the only way that I think I would actually watch that movie is if I got really, really baked beforehand. We can do this. We can have this happen. I think we can. We can have this happen. I'm going to bake them a cake. Oh, okay. And then. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I have a question for you, Jeff. Yes. Now, how many years is this now that an Adam Sandler movie has gotten nominated for a Razzie? Probably ever since Adam Sandler started making movies. No, no, no. No. No. There's been years where he's done movies and they've not gotten nominated. Not Jerry Maguire. Happy Madison. Billy Madison. Billy Madison. Mr. Deeds. Mr. Deeds. Those are all great movies. I'm going to go out there and say, I think like in the past. Maybe decade. He's gotten nominated like every year for like a worst picture. Except for Punch Drunk Love. Even I would say. Except for Punch Drunk Love. Which was really amazing. And I thought it was really good. I want to do more dramatic stuff. But that wasn't made by him, Frank. That was made by PT. That wasn't made by him. He was still in and he still acted really well. But I'm saying movies that he's made. Oh, yeah, yeah. Movies that he's made, written, directed, starred. I think like. I think like every year. For like a solid decade. He's been nominated. In the last 10 years, he's done Funny People. He's done 50 First Dates. But again. Both of those were good. But Funny People wasn't written or directed by him. It was Judd Apatow. What about 50 First Dates? I think 50 First Dates was him. I think that maybe. I think that was Happy Gilmore. And I think that was good. I mean, I think. That was really good. That was really good. It's better than The Notebook. Yeah. I do like that. Anything is better than The Notebook. I'm just trying to like. Because I don't. Sometimes I think. You think? Oh my God. I know. I shouldn't. My dad tells me I shouldn't. I was wondering what all that smoke was coming up out of your earphones. My dad says I'll hurt myself if I continue to do this thinking thing. But sometimes I like, you know, I figure like they just nominate people because they're like big stars that just happen to maybe get like. Stop crap walking. Stop doing the exorcist. God. I'm sorry. It was sexy time. You know. So like pushed it like bad managed or like the agent was like, oh no, this would be good for your career. And then these poor people are like nominated for a Razzie for something that I don't, you know, yes, they decided to do the movie. But. But that doesn't explain why Nicolas Cage keeps making so many bad movies. Because he's Nicolas Cage. Well, actually, because he owes the government a shitload of money. It's awesome. He owes like the government like a bazillion, bajillion dollars. That's why he keeps working. You know, I don't know. I mean, I'll stand up a little bit for Nicolas Cage. I think he's been good in some things. I actually did like the first National Treasure movie. Yeah, that was good. I liked his National Treasure movie. Dorser's Apprentice was really good too. I liked those. Yeah, it was. It was shockingly good. I mean, going all the way back in his career, I thought he was really good in Moonstruck. But in the past few years, since he's owned the government money, he's made some choices that are like, oh, questionable. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. In keeping with Nicolas Cage, let's move on to Worst Actor. Ooh. Nicolas Cage for Ghost Rider's Spirit of Vengeance and Seeking Justice. Wait, did that come out this year? Yes. There was a second cast. I made a sequel to that. Why? The motorcycle and he's... Yes. Okay. Oh my God. I love him. And actually, I thought the sequel was better than the first one, which isn't really saying much. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. And then we have Eddie Murphy for A Thousand Words, of course. Mm-hmm. Robert Pattinson, Twilight, Breaking Dawn, Parks and Rec. That was so good. I don't know if that's his fault. Aw, but he got dumped, so we have to be super nice to him. They're back together, you guys. Oh, what? What? And representing Stacey's people, Tyler Perry for Alex Cross and Good Deeds. I have not seen any of the movies up for these. He got nominated for both. For both. I like how you don't get Eddie Murphy as your people, but you can. Boy. And representing Nathan and Rachel's people, Adam Sandler for That's My Boy. He's talking about Jews. He's talking about the Hebrew tribe, people. The Heaps. Yeah. I gotta say Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy? Yeah. I really can't say because I haven't seen any of the movies. I don't know. Eddie Murphy didn't have to. I would not say Rob Patt because I feel like he... I like our Patt. I think he's a fine... I'm sorry. All the listeners out there, you can like, you know, whatever. Internet us, troll us, I don't care. I like our Patt. I think he's a fine actor. He's done stuff before Twilight and he's done stuff after and he's been stupid. Cedric Diggory. And apparently he's still doing Christopher. Cedric Diggory. I'm gonna go with Adam Sandler. I think, first of all, seriously. I think the Razzies this year should spend as much effort as possible to get Adam Sandler never to make another movie. You're turning against your people. I am. I disagree. Again, I think it's fine if he stars in a movie. I just don't think he should produce them. Like Rachel was saying, he hasn't produced a good movie in a long time. Whoa. Whoa. Hold on there. Whoa. Do you guys agree on something? Holy shamoleons. I feel like we should ring a bell. Guys. Guys. Do you see that world? Do you see that world? Do you see that world? Do you see that world? It's happening in the floor. It's because the earth just opened in the morning. The whole mouth is just. It's been like, it's gonna suck us down, y'all. The earth's beginning. Okay. So. So, yeah. I think that Adam Sandler should get it just because we need to convince him never to make another movie. Yeah. What about actresses? Do we have some Goyles? Do we want to go with worst actresses? Okay. Yeah. Goyles. Let's do it. Let's go with Kristen Stewart. Yes. Of course. Because you have to nominate everything in Twilight for worst. But she also got it for Snow White and the Hunt. Snow White and the Huntsman, too. I didn't see either one. I saw Snow White and the Huntsman and it was actually pretty decent. Go ahead. But she appeared nude this year, so we have to respect that. What did she appear nude in? On the Road. Oh, gross. Oh, that movie where she just gets fucked in the car? Yes. That's pretty much it. She gets fucked in the car. That's just what I want to see is Kristen Stewart's wooden face getting fucked. She's got to pay cut for it. But it's with Emile Hirsch, so you might actually want to see it. Is it Emile Hirsch? Oh, I love Emile Hirsch. It's Emile Hirsch and what's the other one's name? Yeah, because he's got a boner for her. He's the reason that she even got Twilight. I know. Yeah. Okay, and next up we have Katherine Heigl for One for the Money. I liked her in One for the Money. I didn't see it. I thought you said you hated that movie. She was sassy. Plus, how do you nominate Katherine Heigl? She's just so awesome. That movie was so silly, but she was sassy. She's not making good career choices right now. I know, but she's cool. But she's having babies and stuff, so. That's true. I mean, she's all good in the neighborhood. I like her. And we also have... Emila Jovovich for Resident Evil Retribution. It ain't her fault. It's not her fault. I didn't. This was like the only Resident Evil movie I've not seen yet. Oh. She doesn't need to stand there. It's definitely a movie. It's definitely some fighting. Oh my God. Some zombies. It's like... So is that it? Is that the full list? No, no. We have two more. Tyler Perry. That's awesome. For Medea's witness protection. Thank you, Razzy. That is like the most perfect thing ever. And last but not least, we have... We have... We have... We have... We have... We have... Barbara. Oh, for... For the guilt trip. I also did not see that movie. Okay. Can I just say, I want to change my vote... Barbara Streisand and... Seth Rogen. Seth Rogen. I want to change my vote from Adam Sandler for the last category just because I think it would be so awesome... If Tyler Perry won... If Tyler Perry won worst actor and worst actress. Tyler Perry, I support you if you want to hire me because I'm half black. You can find me at... Half hire. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. If you don't hire you, we hate your movies. Exactly. Your movies, they make us laugh. They make us cry. Actually, I do like him. I have never seen a Tyler Perry movie. They're like the most emotional rollercoaster movies ever. I saw... What was the one we saw? Except for Star Trek, but I don't consider that a Tyler Perry movie. Something we saw one and I've never seen a Tyler Perry movie before... So she wasn't unprepared. So I didn't know and I'm like... He has... He has... He has... He has done a few good movies and... He makes the media movies... Like, they basically... you think that you're going to go in there and it's just going to be like, you're just going to be laughing at stupid shit. And then it always, like at least twice, just punches you in the face with tears. Yeah, I'm just not a huge fan of that genre. I think honestly. Are you talking about black movies? You don't like ethnic movies? No, I think it's actually a little bit racist that so many black comedians have to do the cross-dressing thing. I think that it's fine if you want to do a cross-dressing thing, like on SNL or something like that. But he's been doing it for like... Yeah, but it's such a stereotype. I mean, it's like the stereotype of black comedians that at some point they have to do cross-dressing. Okay, so we should really blame Flip Wilson then for like starting that. I'm not saying it's Tyler Perry's fault. I'm saying that he shouldn't be continuing it. Yeah, that's true. And so the... I don't know. I don't think it's like a... The agreeing has ended. Okay, let the game begin. Moving on. Moving on to worst supporting actress. Sorry. Moving on to worst supporting actress. We have Rihanna for Battleship. Oh my God. She was in Battleship. She was in Battleship. But you know what the funny thing is? That when it came out and when people were filming it, they said that she was kick-ass. I thought she was kick-ass. I did not see it, but people on set were just saying she would go where the stunt people wouldn't go and she committed. And I haven't seen it, but at least hearing that from like... Well, you know what? You know, she's got to be used to getting the bruises. Yeah, I was about to say it. There's one thing we know about Rihanna. She can take a beating. Wait, wait. Can I do one? Can I do one? Guys, guys. She's taken a beating already. Let's not nominate her. She's had enough, okay? That was mine. Just think about what Chris is going to have to say if she loses. Yeah. Yeah. He'll probably take it out on her. I know. Okay, Jessica Biel for Playing for Keeps and Total Recall. Playing for Keeps? I don't even remember. What is Playing for Keeps? It's some rom-com. Jessica Biel is also one that has been making bad career choices lately. Playing for Keeps is the one with Gerard Butler in it, isn't it? Yes. Oh, yes. That's right. Where she plays his ex-wife. His ex-wife. But she's been making some bad choices, I feel like, Jessica Biel. Probably. And Total Recall, I didn't see Total Recall. I didn't see Total Recall either and I don't think most of the American population did either. I didn't want to see it, but Frank, I think, wanted to. Arnold Schwarzenegger. What's the Arnold Schwarzenegger version? What's an Arnold Schwarzenegger? It's the newest sex movie I'm going to try tonight. How come he wasn't nominated? Oh, because it didn't come out that year. Wait, didn't he come out with a movie this year? Yeah, yeah, but it was 2013. This year he did. I'm sure he'll be up along with Sylvester Stallone. Yeah, for next year's Rouseys. And Johnny Knoxville. And out of the, who the hell are they? Brooklyn Decker for Battleship and What to Expect When You're Expecting. You don't know who Brooklyn Decker is? She's the one that's- She's the one that's- She was the Hottie McTottie from- Oh, that's her? That Adam, the other Adam Sandler movie where he falls in love with Jennifer Aniston. Oh, no. That movie, yeah. She's like a supermodel. Yeah. And we also have Ashley Green from, of course, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part Two. She's married to like Andy Roderick or something, I think. Jennifer Lopez, What to Expect When You're Expecting. Jennifer Lopez. I really hope she wins. Actually, wait, no, I didn't see that one. No, I didn't. Jennifer Lopez. Wait, did we, Anna? Did we just get, is she? No, it's the, yeah, it's the website. What to, that's the one based on the pregnancy book, right? Yeah, I didn't really have any desire to see it. It's got like Tamron T. S. in it. It's got all those peoples. I think I would say J. Lo should probably win that. Did you see that movie? Just to bring her down a peg or two. No, yeah, again, I just, yeah. I'm just kind of pissed at her life choices. She went through a lot last year, guys. But she's the most beautiful woman in the world. I don't agree with that. Yeah, whatever. And might as well finish up the worst categories. Worst categories. Worst categories. Worst categories. Worst categories. Worst categories. Worst categories. Worst categories. Worst categories. Worst categories. I'm kind of surprised, by the way. I haven't heard any Gangster Squad in here. Gangster Squad came out this year. Was that 2013? It was Gangster Squad. Taylor Lautner for, of course, Twilight Zone. But have you seen him with his shirt off? Yes, I have. Have you seen him with his pants off? Don't kill Thor. Don't kill Thor. David Hasselhoff for Piranha 3DD. Can he just win a TV? It's the sequel to Piranha 3D. It went straight to DVD. No, it was out in the theaters. What? I thought it did. It came out in the theaters for a while. It came out in the theaters for a couple of hours. Because it was in 3D. It had to be, right? It didn't finish playing in the theater. They turned on the projector, started the movie, stopped it halfway through. We're not making money off this. I actually wanted to see it in the theater, but I saw no trailer for it. No anything. The marketing was horrible. Oh, that's what it was. It was the marketing. It was just the marketing, guys. The first one was so funny. Yeah, it was. Like 3D penis coming at you. It was hilarious. What? I've not seen this. It was funny because I saw it with Carlo and Sean. And both Carlo and Sean, when the penis gets like hocked up and like thrown at your face, they were like... A piranha eats a penis. And chokes on it and then... Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. My favorite is when one of the piranhas eats this girl with breast implants. And the breast implants like cleanly just like come off her and float up. It was awesome. The funny thing is that I'll bet you it's doing really well in Europe. Probably so. Probably. But it is a European director. He did... He's the one that did High Tension. Oh, yeah. Alexandra. Anything David Hasselhoff touches is like huge in Europe. Yeah. I was expecting it to be good because he was doing it. He also did... I think he did The Crazies. He did The Crazies, which was the most romantic movie of all time. The Hills Have Eyes. Yeah. Okay, moving on. Next up is Liam Neeson for Battleship and Wrath of the Titans. No, never Liam Neeson. Never Neeson. You can't nominate. Have they not seen Taken? That man will like... Have they not seen his penis? What? He can't see his body? I can't see a Razzie before he's won an Oscar. He hasn't won an Oscar? Yeah, he's been nominated like twice, but he hasn't. He's like Gary Oldman. He's been through a lot, people. He was nominated for Schindler's List and a whole bunch of other things, but he's never been... He's never won. He's just trying to support his children after the loss of his wife, okay? Plus, I just want to support him with my mouth. He's so hot. Moving on. And a double bill from That's My Boy. We have Nick Sperling. Nick Sperling, Swerdson, and Vanilla Ice. Okay, Vanilla Ice. Yeah. He's not even an actor. I wouldn't have picked either of those. Nick Swerdson's adorable. He's adorable. That was not what was wrong with That's My Boy. Yeah, there were a lot of things wrong with That's My Boy. It was you. That was wrong. It was me. It was me. It was the fact that you actually paid money to go see it. Pretty much, yeah. That was what was wrong with That's My Boy. Oh, boy, yeah, that's an issue. I mean, I can understand if you're trying to support your people, but... That's what he was doing. He was trying to support his people. I don't know. I mean... If he was trying to support our people he wouldn't have paid for it. We're pretty cheap. Speaking of our people I want to remind all of our people at home that tonight is Purim which is the holiday where you are commanded to get so drunk that you cannot tell your right hand from your left. So please stay off the roads but get as drunk as possible. I think I'm going to convert to Judaism tonight. For today. I agree. I am Jewish today. Until midnight. If any of you would like to participate with me I will be drunk somewhere in the gutter. I don't want to go to a gutter. I just want to be drunk. I'm classy. I drink standing up. That's why we're friends. Exactly. And okay. So going back to the Oscars. Now remember this is the best. The best of the best. The best of the best. Actor in a leading role. Bradley Cooper. I mean, yes. Yeah. Didn't see it but. My mother. It was so good. My mother calls Bradley Cooper walking sex on like. My mom calls him just walking sex. I don't know that I really want to have sex with him. But he's cute. I would. I don't know that I'd want my mom to say that about anybody. My mother is. My mother is. I feel like you have issues. My mother is. You don't want her to hear that she wants a pounding from Bradley Cooper? Do you not know that your parents. My parents are listening right now. Do you not know your parents have sex? You know, I once said. And they have sexual feelings. How do you think you came to be? I once said to people that I think any parent should have only had sex once in their life for every kid they have. That is so sad. I have to say one of my favorite stories about parents having sex is this girl that I work with. She was like, my mother hates me. She's not answering my phone calls. And I was like, well, maybe your mother and father are having sex. And then she's like, oh, Jeff, you just had to put that in my head, didn't you? You're the worst babysitter ever. Yeah. Okay. And moving on. Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln. I didn't see it. Oh, we're not on Razzie's anymore. What? No, I didn't see it. He's won it before. And I'm told that he did such an awful job as Lincoln. No, I don't. I thought he did awesome. I don't know. I don't think he should win it for Lincoln is all I'm saying. Like he's won it already like twice. I don't think he should win it for Lincoln. Can I just say I started watching the movie and I think it was the mood that I was in. But five minutes in, I was like, I can't. I can't. I can't. Yeah. I've heard it was so bad. No, it wasn't that bad. It's a really good movie. Everything about it just bored me at that moment. And I haven't gone back to it. So what is it? Very historical. It's very political. And it really doesn't have a lot to do with Lincoln. It has a lot to do with the passing of the 16th Amendment. It has a lot to do with Lincoln. Right. But I mean. The movie is called Lincoln. No, no, no. But I mean, like, I get that. But what I'm saying is I'm told that it has very little to do with like the Civil War or MSP. It really had a lot more to do with the 16th Amendment. Yes. But it has a lot to do with Lincoln. Yeah. Right. Like, it does not have a lot to do with the Civil War. Plus, I just personally don't like that they got so many historical facts wrong. I know that's stupid. And I know I'm being political. But it's like, really, you guys could have made this true. It's not as bad as Munich. Like, Munich got like every historical fact wrong. But Munich was so good. But this was, I mean, apparently they just like made up half the details. Like, rather than looking it up. Like, for those who have seen it, like, Connecticut did vote for the amendment. Like, they spent half the movie, like, trying to convince Connecticut to vote for it. Yeah, they did. Yeah. Connecticut voted for it. Connecticut was one of the first states to vote for it. Never mind. I had a point, but it was kind of stupid. I thought it was very good. Well, thank you for admitting that. I think it was a very compelling movie. I didn't like a few things about it, but I thought it was entertaining. But she liked it better than Vampire Hunter. Yeah, talk about historical inaccuracy. I like that movie. They throw a horse at someone. They do throw a horse at somebody. But when did his wife become a badass? I'm not cray-cray with that. Really? Or the fact that he had more than one son? No, they just have one son. Like, even in the book, they didn't do that. Like, I'm just, I'm, no. No. No. There was no cyborgs, though. That I was very upset with. Yeah. Next up, we have Hugh Jackman for Les Mis. Wonder who Anastasia wants to win. Wolverine. Why is there no Wolverine trailer? There has not been, no, there has not been a Wolverine trailer released yet. I do recall I've seen one. Because I've been hiding it. Nope. It's been released in your room. You stole it, didn't you? I think I, I think I, I mean, I think Hugh Jackman is literally going to win. I mean, I just, I know that it could go to either Bradley Cooper or Daniel Day-Lewis. I just think it's going to be Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman. I don't know. As much as I like him, I don't think he should win for this. The other two, sorry, are Joaquin Phoenix and Denzel Washington. I didn't mean to cut Jeff off. Oh, that's okay. Denzel for what? Denzel for flight. Well, see, I didn't even want to see that. Denzel isn't going to win. Joaquin Phoenix, I don't think is going to win. I don't know. It's Denzel. Joaquin Phoenix is too crazy. I don't know, but Joaquin Phoenix, I've heard like really good things about him on The Master. Yeah, I know, but I don't think he's going to win. Did anyone see The Master? No. Well, the people who voted probably should have. I watched the trailer and I felt like that was enough. I want Bradley for it. I want Bradley. I thought Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook, I don't care what people say, I thought he did a really, really good job. He did. He really did. I think it's going to go to Hugh Jackman. He did a good job, though. I mean, but yeah. I think it's going to go to Jennifer Lawrence for Best Actress, but I think it's going to go to Hugh Jackman for Best Actor. Yes, moving on for Best Actress. Did she win for Winter's Bone? Yeah, she did. I believe she did. Oh, she did? Wow. Yeah. Nice. So, obviously, we have Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook. We have Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty. I loved her in that. She was so good in that movie. She was excellent. I watched it last night. She was so good. That's probably the alternative is it's going to be Jessica Chastain. I know you think Jennifer Lawrence might win, but I think Chastain might win because last year she didn't win for The Help. No, I do think it could be Chastain. She was really good in The Help and she was really, really good in Zero Dark Thirty. The only reason I'm... I don't know. The only reason I'm thinking that it might not win is there's a lot of people who are saying, you know, who are pretty against Zero Dark Thirty because of the torture and stuff like that. And I think that a lot of the voters... Because that didn't happen? I think a lot of the voters in the Academy aren't going to vote for it because they're protesting the movie. I don't... That's stupid. I don't think so. When people say that to me and they're like, I don't want to see that movie because of the torture, I go, because it didn't happen. It happened, people. Just... I mean, you know I'm not in agreement with that. It happened. It's not about you saying. I think... I think... I think... Knowing Hollywood, I think they're not going to give it any like major awards to Zero Dark Thirty because they'll feel like it was too radical and torturous and stuff like that. Radical, man. Right. Whatever. And we also have Emanuel Riva for Amor. I've heard really good things. I have too. And I do think they might give it to her like they did... Give it to her. What's his name? Christopher Plummer last year. I think it's because she's 84 and has never even been nominated before. So I think... I think it's possible that they'll just give it to her just because she's old and she's not going to get another Oscar. And on the opposite end of that spectrum, we have... I'm not even going to try to pronounce her first name. Quvencine Will... Wallace. Wallace. For Beast of the Southern Wild. Yay. She's a new Annie. I'm okay with that. I highly doubt that she's going to win. Yeah, I don't think so either. I don't know. Even if she was the most amazing actress, they're not going to do that again. The movie was really good and she was great in it, but I don't think... I didn't see it. I don't know. I didn't see it. But I know her story, the delightful, cute little girl. The delightful story. They're going to figure that she has a good career in front of her and give it to her for something else. Exactly. And Naomi Watts for The Impossible, which, no, I haven't seen either. So she got nominated for the movie about the tsunami, but Ewan McGregor didn't? Yeah. Yeah. What the what? I know. I think it's going to be Jennifer Lawrence. I haven't seen the movie, but the trailer for The Impossible... It makes me cry. It makes me cry so much. I haven't even seen the trailer for it, so I probably need to... Yeah, I'm in here. It's just... The crazy category. It's super sad. The best supporting actor this year is best supporting actor because they have all been nominated for this and other Oscars before, and they're all amazing actors. I mean... Yeah, yeah. You run down that list and it's just like, what the what? We have Alan Arkin for Argo. Amazing movie. I didn't think he's best supporting actor, though. I think he's going to win, though. Robert De Niro for Silver Linings Playbook. Hmm. I, you know, I like that choice, but I'm going to go out there on a lemon's day. Okay. Okay. Okay. I actually think Chris Tucker did a really good job in that movie. He did. Hey, it was very... It was unlike him. I thought that... I watched the movie and I go, he should be nominated for something because he did a really good... He did a really fantastic job. For some reason, I didn't even realize it was him until my second time watching it. I was like, you look familiar. It's like, oh my God, it's Ruby Rod. No, it's like... Because he ate himself? My dad did the same thing, Frank. My dad was like... He ate himself? My dad goes, no. No. My dad goes, that guy looks familiar. Like, why do I know that guy? And I go, he's from the Rush Hour movies. And my dad was like, no, he's not. Shut up. I was like, yeah, he is. Yeah. And we also have Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Master. I don't know. I don't know. I got boobs jiggling in my face right now. I can't think. I mean, I don't think he's going to win, but I'm just saying, like, think about the caliber of all these actors that are nominated. Like, they've all won before, you know? Yeah. Tommy Lee Jones for Lincoln, which he was amazing in. Yeah. He was good. And Chris Tucker-Waltz for James. Django Unchained. Christoph Waltz, y'all. Yes. I like him. I think it should be Christoph Waltz, but I think it's going to be Alan Arkin. But Christoph. I think it's going to be Christoph. It's either going to be Christoph or Tommy Lee Jones. Christoph is so good in everything. I know. I know. He plays himself pretty much, but I love him. Even in Three Musketeers, he was, like, really enjoyable. I didn't see that movie, so you shut up. I'll predict it's going to be Alan Arkin because he's the only one who hasn't run before. We'll see tomorrow when we have the... We will see tomorrow, Jeff. Can they also make Jesus Uncross an actual movie? Maybe. Seriously. Can they do that? Seriously, that would be awesome. I feel like Best Supporting Actress really isn't even a challenge. Anne Hathaway. It's going to go to Anne Hathaway. Or Les Mis. Also nominated. Oh, she won the Golden Globe, right? Yeah. I mean, I didn't even really like her that much. I thought it was very emotionally manipulative. I didn't even like Les Mis, but it's going to Anne Hathaway. But if she won the Golden Globe, she'll win the Oscar. Yeah, no. She did a really good job. I just feel like they almost purposefully were like, now cry. Cry. Yeah. Seriously cry. Like, fucking cry. They wanted to make you cry in a movie called The Miserables? Or they wanted to make you cry about a woman who becomes a prostitute and gets abused and loses her child and gets sick? Oh, I'm sorry. Did they want tears for that? No, they wanted to make you cry. Down the aisle screaming. It wasn't called The Happy People. It wasn't The Miserables. Is that supposed to be a sad thing normally? And we also have Amy Adams for The Master. I love her. I'm so excited for her. Yeah, she's awesome. Sally Field for Lincoln. Probably my second choice. Yeah, my second choice. Sally Field wins everything. Will they really like her this time? I heard Helen Hunt was really good in the sessions. Helen Keller was nominated? Helen Hunt. Helen Keller. Yeah, it's like, where has Helen Hunt been the last few years? She just, and then she's nominated. Oh my God. Taking time off. Listen, I got her in the basement recently. And then we have Jackie Weaver for Silver Linings Playbook, which. That was his mom, yeah. I, that was his mom. I didn't think it was anything that special. I thought she was good. She was good, but I mean, it wasn't anything. She emoted. Again, in this case. Yeah. Even if we like all the other ones, I don't even think it's a challenge. Like, I think if Anne Hathaway doesn't win, it would be a huge shock. Yeah, I agree. That bitch deserves it for that, like, just 10 minutes alone. Yeah. But anyway. I mean, plus again, she really did. I mean, she's. It doesn't matter. She won the globe. She won the Oscar. She's gonna. She came from behind. And she did really good as a comedy. I've never. And so those are our picks for the Razzies and the Oscars. In my opinion. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. She's gonna win for Catwoman. But really, it's layman. Wait, let me throw in just a couple. She's really winning because of Catwoman. Let me throw in just a couple other things. So, just other movies that really weren't nominated for anything else. I think Moonrise Kingdom should win for original screenplay. And I think that The Avengers should win for visual effect. I don't. Because those visual effects were good, but they were still noticeable. Do you know how. And their makeup was. Yeah, but do you know how intricate The Avengers visual effects were? They created. They created New York. Like literally. Oh, yeah. Three models. The entire city. And I've heard from everybody that's. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. That's okay. I've heard from everybody that's seen like Life of Pi. That that's like. Life of Pi was amazing. Best visual effects you'll ever see. I think Life of Pi is going to win. But I think The Avengers should win. They calculated how much damage would have been done to New York. How much it would have cost to replace all the CGI shit that they did. $160 billion. $160 billion worth of damage. They caused that city. That's pretty fucking awesome. If the normal amount of visual effects artists who work on most movies worked on The Avengers, it would have taken them 15 years to make the visual effects for that movie. Well, I'm not saying that they didn't do a good job. I'm just saying in terms of the level of CGI that I would like to see. It's just so intricate. It was already well done. You don't understand how much in that movie is. I mean. It's just they modeled the entire city. Actually, all of the actors were not there. Oh, okay. Then it should win then. I feel like it should win. Visual effects. Okay. Let's move on to Mary. Fuck. Kill. I like to kill. Let's go. I like to marry. I like to fuck. Rachel, how about start us off? You do both. Just to let you know, this is a mixture of the Razzie and the Oscar nominees. Okay. So I got Sally Field. I got Steven Spielberg. And I've got R. Patz or Robert Pattinson. Okay. Here's the deal. I like Steven Spielberg. But. You're just going to kill. I'm crazy. You old Jewish. Wait. You married Hitler and you're killing Steven Spielberg? What? Jew. I also slept with Kim Jong-il. Let's not forget that. That is true. I'm going to marry Sally Field because she's totally adorable. And when I marry her, she could say, you like me? You really like me? And I'll go, I don't just like you. I love you. Plus, that bitch knows how to use a ceiling radio. So I think she's awesome. And I'm going to sleep with Robert Pattinson because despite Twilight and all the nonsense, he's Robert Pattinson. And I'd like to sleep with a person that looks like a homeless man. Sure. Why not? I would marry him. He's like very family oriented and he's like a nice dude. He smokes like a chimney. Yeah, but he sings. Like he's a good singer. That's true. But I have Sally Field and she's awesome sauce as well. She's a lesbian. She's a lesbian and she's the worst shoe ever. Well, yep. But she knows how to use CB radio. Yes. That's important. That's very important. That's very important. And she was badass and saved her kid on a plane crash. And we can swap stories of what it was like to work with Burt Reynolds on Smoking and the Bandit. And she could tell me about Norma Rae. What? You worked on Smoking and the Bandit? It'd be great. Yeah. If I was married to Sally Field, she could tell me all her stories. Oh, I thought you said swap stories. That's what I heard too. I would like to hear her flying nun stories. Yeah. If you ever became retarded, she would sleep with the principal so you could get into the school. That's a talent. Okay. Nathan, how about you? All right. I have... And she can make tough decisions. Sorry. I just had to put it out there. I have Liam Neeson. How? What? Bill Condon, who is the director of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2. Bill Condon? Yes. His name is Condon. No, Condon. Also, sister, sister, the serious one. And Nicolas Cage. So, here's what I'm going to do. I am going to kill Bill Condon. Because... I mean, I like some of his movies, like Kinsey, but he's just not attractive at all. I am going to fuck Nicolas Cage because he can find my natural treasure. Oh, no. Oh, God. Nice. And I'm going to marry Liam Neeson because he has a certain set of skills. Anastasia. Oh, no. Okay. I got Tyler Perry. No jokes, anyone? Because you're black. We covered them all. Jessica Biel and Jennifer Lawrence. If you sleep with Tyler Perry, can you be bisexual? I'm sorry, Tyler Perry. I have to kill you. Yes. Worst black person ever. Actually, no. It's a mercy kill. I think most black people would be like, thank you, Lord. I'm sorry I have to kill you, Tyler Perry. But, you know... Again, though, if you want to hire her, she wouldn't kill you. I wouldn't kill you if you hired me. And then I'm going to screw... Screw? A couple times, Jessica Biel. Because she is one of my lady loves. Can I watch? Yes. No. Damn it. No. And then I'm going to marry Jennifer Lawrence because I feel like me and her together in a relationship, we'd be funny. And I feel like we're like... We'd be funny? I feel like we're a good couple. Dude, we'd be funny. We'd be funny. We have good chemistry. You'd go out on dates and she'd be freaking out like, oh, I'm the slut, right? I'm the... And then she'd walk out. I like it. Yeah. Okay. Frank. Isn't that basically what your life is like now? I got Denzel Washington, Joaquin Phoenix, and Amy Adams. Did you say Joaquin Phoenix again? Because you were like, Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin. Joaquin Phoenix. If you kill Amy Adams, I'm going to stab you. I got Joaquin Phoenix. Kill her. Kill her. Kill her just because he's so... I am going to kill Denzel Washington. Thank God. What? Because I... You're the worst black person ever. I am the worst black person ever. I'm the worst black person ever. I'm like not even black sometimes. You know what? Honestly, I don't find him... But you could speak to Joaquin Phoenix in his natural tone. And I think we've talked about this before. You don't find Denzel Washington attractive? No, I find him attractive. I just don't find him to be a particularly fantastic actor. I think he's good. You're not marrying him for his acting. You're marrying him for his him. Oh, I know. But I got Joaquin Phoenix instead. Instead. Instead. Instead. But I'm not even marrying Joaquin Phoenix. I'm just going to fuck the shit out of him. Good choice. I'm going to marry Amy Adams because she's Lois Lane. Okay. Joaquin always acts like a little sissy. Plus, Amy Adams is like the coolest, isn't she? I know. That's why I'm going to... Hello? But if he's... We're compatible because if he's a sissy, that means he's a bottom and I'm a top. And if he fucks Joaquin Phoenix, he can just pretend like it's River. Ryan. All right. Well, for Ryan's choices. Ryan. And since he depends on the kindness of strangers because y'all are strange, you're going to help me with mine because I don't know mine. So here we go. Okay. Okay. We have Nick Swartzen. Sean Anders. And what did we decide? French. I think Michelle. I don't know. Michelle Hanake. There we go. She's French. Do her. So... It's a him. It's a him. It's Michelle. He's French. Do him. I think, yeah, we'll fuck him. Okay. So are we going to marry Sean Anders or should we kill him? What does Sean Anders look like? Wait a minute. He was in That's My Boy. He directed That's My Boy. I'm looking him up. Wait. Wait. We're going to look up to see... No, Ted. It doesn't even matter. Sean Anders? And marry... Yeah. Marry Nick Swartzen. He's adorable. Remember what? Reno 911. He was Terry. Also, he'd be a good husband. Yeah. He's adorable. Mexican werewolf. Okay. And mine, I have Kristen Stewart. Ugh. I'm sorry. Dead. Dead. That's so hard for you. She's flat chested, though. She could probably pull off being a boy. Peter Berg. He's actually kind of handsome. I would fuck him. And... He's made some good movies. I would marry Bradley Cooper. Oh, good choice. Wait. What? You wouldn't screw? Do you... Do you guys think that... I would have him every night. Well, if he's married, he gets two anyway. Yeah. Do you guys think that Bradley Cooper should have won Sexiest Man over Ryan Gosling? Yes. Yes. Wait. Isn't the Sexiest Man this year Channing Tatum? Right. But a year ago, everybody was saying how Ryan Gosling should have won instead of Bradley Cooper. No. I find... Okay. I like Ryan Gosling, but... Ryan Gosling's good. All three of them. They're all good. All three of them I would not sleep with, so... Just have all three. I would not sleep with any of them. Not even Ryan? Ryan Gosling? No. Okay. Shall we move through awkward questions really quick? Sure. Do we even have to? Should we... Yeah. Everybody's answered, right? Has Ryan answered? Ryan... We have a guest. Wasn't Ryan here the first week of February? No. No. Okay. Sorry. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Rachel. Okay. If you could choose... I'm going to shorten it down a little bit, I guess. If you can choose... That'd be hard for you. If you could choose... Okay. You're straight on a desert island. You can choose one person to come with you. Throughout history. Okay? History, comic books, books, movies, whatever. To come with you. Who would it be, and what would they bring to the party to help you survive on the desert island? On the island. Oh, that's interesting. My jiggers. Hmm. Okay. I guess I would have to say... Because I never got to meet her, because I love movies. Elizabeth Taylor would be my companion. Yes. And she could bring the vodka. Vodka. Nice. Nice. Okay. Okay, Frank. If you could walk 500 miles, would you walk 500 more? No. No? Unromantic. Thank you. That's the first time no one's ever answered with the second part of that song. I don't think he knows the song, do you? No. Okay. But just based on the question, no. Okay. Nathan. My question is, what inanimate object currently in this room would you use as a sex toy? Probably the multi-colored light. Well, that was a given. I was trying to go for the non-obvious. That's been an answer before, actually. I don't know. Maybe the multi-colored lights in the corner. I could probably do a lot with that. Yeah? Yeah. You'll stain that stained glass? I gotcha. Yeah. Okay. Anastasia. No. Gross. No. No. Yes, my queen. So, like, if you had to be the opposite sex for a day, what would you look like and what would you do? Now, say that one more time. One more time. If I had to be the opposite sex. You have to be the opposite sex for the day. Okay. What would you look like and what would you do? Just to clarify, because Frank got confused, that would mean you're a girl. What would I look like? Yeah. Like, who would you want to look like? Well, I think I would have to definitely be not blonde because I am blonde, so I might as well go for the opposite. Probably a little shorter. But what would I do? Yeah. What would you do? Go on a... Go find a rich man with a limo that ticks me on a shopping spree to fill up my closet so I have nice things to wear. Oh, he'd be a gold digger for a day. Yes. That's so cool. Nice. Nice. I ain't saying he's a gold digger. He's going to hide it with Stacey. Hey, that's our song. That's our song. That's our people's song. And for my question, have you ever pleasured yourself to photos on Facebook? Yes, he has. Actually, no. Not on Facebook. Only Twitter. And MySpace. MySpace. Have you on MySpace? No. Okay. But you just gave me an idea of Facebook. Yeah, that's going to be a party tomorrow. See, nobody has answered yes to that question. I know. I know. And I think some people are lying. Who do you think is lying? I don't know. Well, since you asked the question, Jeff. Nobody has ever answered yes. Oh, I said yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'm the only one that says yes. I'm the only one that's honest. There are two people in this room who have said yes. Who? Me. You said yes to the Facebook answer? Well, I was kind of shy about it. I was like, no, I've never done that ever. Yeah, I have. Oh, my God. So somebody has said yes. All right. I don't feel like the oddball out here. I mean, he's kind of a person. Okay, everyone. That's our show for the day. I didn't understand what I was looking at. Don't worry. So I would just like to take a couple of minutes to thank the California National. Science Center and rabble, rabble, rouser industries.com. Discovery Science Center. Discovery Science Center. You can go to the California. Discovery Science Center. Cool. Okay. Okay. I would like to thank Ryan for showing up today. Thank you so much. And be sure to look up our show on iTunes or at skid row studios.com. Check out some of our past shows. And anything else? There's going to be a huge announcement. On Tuesday. So you're going to want to like follow us on Twitter or see us on Facebook. Cause there's going to be a huge announcement. Oh, yes. For sure. It's going to be huge. I wish I could tell you now, but it's going to be huge. Or just follow us to my house. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, all the social stuff. Twitter. Yeah. We're like everywhere now. Everywhere. Everywhere. We're with you. Exploding. I'm looking into your window currently. Snatching your people up. Knock, knock. Who's there? It's me. Snatching your people up. Okay, everyone. Thank you so much for listening and we will hear, you'll hear from us next week. Yay. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. 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