We only have to prepare to try Put this wind on the door Why you running around with me? How did you time to know that thing? Looks like you're not that fucked up You're pretty out of touch, fucking mad Well I have something to confess I'm gonna throw this knife in your chest We're gonna catch the posse boy This sure is many a hard little boy Ain't gonna be your customer, lads I'd rather be fucked than throwin' things Don't get on my knees and suck my dick If you're gonna lie and say that shit Hey didn't you hear what I fucking said? Throw that gun away through your head Through your head, through your head, through your motherfucking head You act so hip when you look so dead You're the one who loves yourself Let me know Love, love, I love Now who you call the black guy whore? Never care if you come back for more So what the fuck you think you get? You ain't even paid us yet You ain't even paid us yet You ain't even paid us yet You ain't even paid us yet You ain't even paid us yet You ain't even paid us yet DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA but you know, less than 30 seconds because you know, we're the hosts. But if you have any kind of concerns about our topics today, give us a call at 1-800-893-9562 or Facebook us at Sexy Time Talk. Find us through Skid Row Studios Facebook. Anyways, so topics tonight. We're going to hit that G spot. Talk a little bit about missionary. Yeah, we're going to do a little small penis review. What is that? Turn your vibrator off. Can you turn that off? Sorry about that little background noise. It's the air conditioner. I know there was a bunch of stinky men in here a little earlier for piñata hour. Okay, our new girl is trying to turn off her big vibrator or air conditioner, quote marks. Just before we get into this show, we'd like it if we're going to give you a couple seconds to take a big hit of your joint or your bong or your whatever you smoke because we know you're all smoking out stoners. So one, take a hit right now. One, two, three, four. Take your hit. Five. We want you to laugh. Okay, anyways. So in the news today. Yes. I heard about the gangbang girl number 32. Hey, how about what's this guy's name over here? Hey, Mindy, what's up? Hey, what's up? But hey, if we're going to talk about sexy stuff, I'm going to change my name from Mindy to Mindy and Jones because people know I'm Mindy right now. And I don't want that from now on. Let's not be Mindy. Let's be Mindy and a Jones because then I can talk about all that six and the Joneses. Okay. All right. So Mindy Anna Jones and Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle Belial. Kyle Belial. If you like, can you tell us about the gangbang girl number 32? What did you hear about that? I guess I can talk about that. All I heard about it was that. What was it? Mr. Marcus. That's the porn star. Mr. Marcus. He must have a big cock. I don't know. I'm just I'm just guessing. But in 2001. The year I graduated from high school. He was filming a porno on the surfaces of the. What was it? The USC stadium. Yeah. The Coliseum. Well, God. I swear to tell the truth. Wasn't that the same year that Reggie Bush was given the Heisman Award? That was it. Oh, I just did. So you don't know that much of this story, do you? I'm done. You forgot about this story. Okay. So driving to work this morning, I heard something about an NPR, the gangbang girl number 32. So I was like, oh, my God. Oh, I got to look this up. So it's in the L.A. Times right now. All of a sudden, what? Twelve years later, 11 years later, they just realized that there was a porn, a graphic movie about a football team and one cheerleader having sex on a football field. And that football field happened to be the Los Angeles Coliseum, where the USC Trojans play and where the Pope went and where that President Kennedy went. And, you know, this. Basically, yeah, because it's taxpayer funded place that people hang out and have barbecues and get drunk in the parking lot kind of thing. So now there's a big investigation. It was like, how did this pornographic movie get filmed? Because they also use the lights. They weren't there all like low pro filming this thing. So they had, yeah, consent. Yeah. For them to use the stadium lights and stuff. So I don't know. And then it was kind of a little interesting reading the article. They were saying how like pornographic movies aren't allowed to be filmed in parks, taxpayer money type of places. But it would be funny, like, right? If they were doing it on a slide outside or in those. There are some that are outdoors. What are you even talking about? Wasn't there an issue of something about they filmed it in either like cop cars or on a fire truck or something? Like a city vehicle? You know about this is your department, right? Porn. Porn movies. Gay. So, yeah, I don't watch this stuff myself. So the city was involved in this? Is that what you're saying? They gave the consent? I read about it. I don't think the city was involved. I think somehow like city workers in their city vehicle. Maybe it was a parking ticket car, but it was a city vehicle, you know, porn. Oh, because they probably got some money under the table. Yeah. Something like that. It'd be cooler if it was fire trucks. Do you think these people should get sued or at least get their job, get fired? would you laugh if i say i really have no opinion no opinion on that i don't care oh my gosh right because you enjoy it i'd have to think i'd have to actually consider my opinion well if we don't want politicians doing like sex messaging you know then why would we want pornog you know pornography pornographic movies being filmed on our playgrounds i don't know i don't think it's a big deal i don't know it was like a billion years ago well anyways they're investigating and well look basically if people got paid under the table then they should get in trouble just like that if we can't if we can't have a concert at slab city slab city some trailer park in the desert you know we can't have a concert over there and the cops are spending all their money and this big old hoopla then how come they could have a pornographic movie yeah exactly at night so you! think it's fair we can't even have concerts out in the street or in the park the low pro things so right that agree on okay i don't know about the if there's a fire truck in a porn maybe i wouldn't care i guess yeah but if they could do okay no no but if they can do that and it's cool and get paid under whatever the pocket then why can't we have like a little kumbaya jam doing that kind of stuff yeah exactly exactly it's all art it's all art speaking of um it was kind of interesting have you ever met a porn person no person never ever no like good like avians or something no like just happened to be meeting a person talking to them and they happen to be a really skinny girl and really balloony movies no but it's just coincidental that they actually do porn i was like oh a light bulb i haven't met i bet you you're in this department have you you've known friends that did porn movies i know i've been friends with strippers i don't know about porn i've known some strippers yeah but i mean i think i'm sure i've met people that have been in porn but they don't say it yeah i'm trying i'm trying to think i've seen so much in my life is a dude putting a coke bottle up another dude's butt porn if he did it for money and enjoyed yeah did he fake an orgasm i don't know if he did he do it for money he did it for you too and i i just met someone recently and you know he was just some random dude but you know he's looking like a football player type or whatever but he mentioned that you know he lived in the house and they've shot film they shot porn all the time yeah it's just weird i live in a house and we shoot film all the time we shoot porn all the time but it's mostly mostly gay right no he was a you know he does women okay yeah i've heard of him though that's funny yeah but it's interesting meeting people in the last minute but it's really funny finding out what's in here finding out what's in It's just interesting. You talk to people, you find out things. Okay, so porn movies, check. But you know what? Like I said, I don't really watch. I've told you this before. I don't, you know, maybe Paris Hilton and the Pamela Anderson thing or maybe some erotica stuff. It wasn't your choice. It wasn't my choice. It was at a party. But, no, sometimes I've watched, you know, things. I don't know. I don't take the time to go rent it or anything. Just like I haven't had the time to go to the sex store to, you know, invest in a vibrator or conditioner. But I've noticed studying for this little radio show. Yes. A little aroused. Watching that like on the YouTube. Okay, people. On YouTube they have fake porn. Yeah, they have like not real porn porn. You know, it's all for scientific education. For educational purposes while I'm watching it. And for like 20 seconds I see a girl getting off for science. And I'm kind of like missing my lover. And I'm supposed to be studying. Anyways, so I've noticed that. So, yeah, YouTube. The girl's guy made a 21st century. Something like that, right? 21st century. Sex. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of, you can get aroused. But then it's funny because then there's commercials. There's commercials? Kind of the commercials of like, and next. Oh, coming next. Yeah. But it's like from a medical standpoint. And there's a doctor like, you know, doing all the dialogue and stuff like that. So it's pretty cool. But, you know, for 20 seconds I'm watching somebody enjoying it. Excuse me. Okay, next. Okay, so last week we talked about small penises. More likely like micro penises. The very, very small ones. Not like a five inch small one, but a three inch small one. Um. That's your classification of micro. But anyways, um, so I was talking about this show to a friend. And it just so happened she was talking about how she was with a dude who had a very small penis. And she said it was about three or four inches. And I'm like, why didn't you call in? But, um, so I am allowed by her permission to tell her story about being with this man. So she was with a three inch. She was with a four inch man. She said she loved it on top because it hit her G spot. Because, and we're going to talk about the G spot too. Yeah. G spot's about two to three inches. Right. Um, of the inside of the vaginal wall towards the belly button. Right. Is that correct? Anterior portion. Yep. Yeah. So this, uh, small partner of hers, three to four inch man. Um. He was perfect. Yeah. Great for that when she was on, when she was on top. Mm-hmm. However, and then here are some other, um, things about him. She didn't like it from behind because he liked to do it. He wanted to do it doggy style. Yeah. But she was like, oh no, I'm not going to do that. Because since it's so small, pulling in and out, it's going to cause a lot of air to go in there. And, you know, a lot of queefing, a lot of air and, you know, bugs your pelvic area. You just got to work past that. Hmm? I'm like, work past it. Yeah. But he, well, he wanted, yeah, he wanted to do it doggy style. So more bothered her then. Yeah. She didn't want to because it was just going to be so much air with the in and out. Yeah. And you think it. If it's kind of on the smaller side, it's not going to, yeah, there's going to air. It's going to be leaked through. And then, so that was the third. And then the third point is he didn't like wearing condoms. Mm-hmm. So she was kind of like mad about that. So she made him go get tested because he didn't want to wear condoms and he refused. But think about it. Probably because they're too big for him. So. Well, they do have smaller ones out there. Yeah. But are you going to. There's no excuse for those guys. Is it probably expensive? I have no clue. But they have the larger size, the average and the small ones. So there's no excuse. They do not have. Do they do? Have you. Have you seen condoms? Hey, Kyle, man. Kyle, man. What is it? Super stud? What's his name? They do. They have to. They have all sizes. Have you ever seen. Yeah. You got to keep your ears open. You got to pay attention. It was drummer talk. I don't know what's better. Drums or sex. I'm torn. For this hour. It's about sex. We could talk about drumming your bottom later. Have you seen condoms that were for smaller penises? Because I've been searching all condoms and. No, no. You're looking on the Internet. A special order like an eBay or something. It's everywhere. You can get them anywhere. Are you talking about just. Yeah. Condoms. And it says smaller size. I don't do much condom shopping. I don't know. Oh, you should get tested once a year. You see CT. Gonorrhea. Chlamydia. At least through urine. Very easy. I got a plant parent. Good. OK. Not the one you work at. I don't work at plant parent. Oh, I volunteer there. Oh, OK. OK. And yes, there are all types and sizes. So, yeah. Just tons of them. But they give you so many free ones when you go there. They give you like a little brown bag filled with different colors and sizes and like a goodie bag of condoms. And you're trying them out, right? Oh, no, you don't. But the thing is. But the point is. If you had a small. Penis and the size doesn't fit. You should just get tested. Before putting it in. Well, not you. If your man had a small penis, the condom is not going to fit. We're talking about. You want to make sure you test it because then it like just falls off. Right. Yeah. It's not enjoyable. This is like. Anyways. So that was that was her third comment about her small penis man. OK. So you didn't want to cover it. Yeah. So basically. We're recapping. And I have a friend who actually was with a small penis man. Three to four inches. Yeah. And you missed the whole topic. So point is. It's better when she's on top. She don't like it from behind because it's so small. Too much air is going to get in her. Oh, and then she does the queefing. Yeah. Yeah. And then third, he doesn't like to wear condoms because, you know, they don't fit or they're too big. Yeah. But then I'm saying they have all sizes. They'll get they'll get lost. And then fourth. Guess what? What? He broke the rule of if you're going to have a penis, a small penis. You know the rule. Well, I think it should be a rule. When in doubt, pull out. No, no, no. The rule. If you're going to be a small penis man, you better be a nice guy. Apparently, this guy was a chauvinistic asshole who was like dating three chicks at once. So I was just surprised that she said that. I thought you were going to say you have to be good at oral or something. Well, yeah, they should. But I mean, that qualifies as a nice guy, right? I guess if he's good at it. Really nice. But yeah, he broke the rules. Okay. Well, that's done. Done. Small penis man. Check. Okay. Next on topic. G-spot. Go for it. You tell me about the G-spot. This is your department. When did you find your G-spot? Okay. Because I know you found your clitoris. When you were 12. But when did you find your G-spot? I'm going to go in the 20s. I'll say in the 20s. 20 what? I don't know. Like smack in the middle. Let's go 25. I don't know. Did you find it by yourself? Yeah. Or did you find it with a friend? Not with a friend. You were not involved. No. I actually did some solo exploring and found it. You were not in the room at all. That's like, can you pop this pimple for me? I can't reach. Yeah. Yeah. I did find it. Okay. I'll find it myself. You found it. But how you found your G-spot by yourself? Vibrators. Oh. Oh my God. I was thinking with your finger. You can. I mean, I guess you can. Yeah. You can. Yeah. But I think a vibrator makes sense. Yeah. So vibrator. Yes. Definitely a vibrator is the first. My first vibrator was in the shape of a penis. It was not in the shape of a penis? What? It was in the shape of a cat. A cat. A Garfield. What? Did he make a Garfield vibe? I have never seen that. They did a long time ago. Really? Yeah. I have never seen that. It was given to me by a friend. But I don't know if it was intentionally to be a passionate vibrator. But you used it that way. Not intentional. It just happened that way. It just happened. It fell onto my lap and it was on and then I just left it. Yeah. But I thought it's a cat. It's a pussy. It's a pussy cat toy. It's a toy. Toy. Pussy. Poi. Pussy cat vibrator. Okay. What do you think? What's going to happen with that? So yeah. I'll say in the 20s. Okay. With your vibrator. Yeah. So the Graftenburg spot. Yeah. I think everyone kind of has to. You have to be comfortable with yourself. I think to kind of relax to have a G-spot orgasm. Or else you're not really going to. That's from what I've heard with other girls. They're like, no, I can't. Or they don't know if it's there. A lot of girls have to come like by, you know, clitoral stimulation first and then go to G-spot. And then it's more easily accessible. Well, I think that's. I think that would like be for me. Yeah. And I guess. Then once with practice, you can just hit it straight off. Just go bam. Get a three incher and. Get a three incher. Get fingers. Get a vibe. Whatever. And it's easy to hit. So when did. Wait, wait, wait. So did you find yours in the 20s or way later? Let's not talk about that yet. When? I like to dance around the topic. That's the issue. Okay. Okay, everybody. We'd like you to take a hit. I'm not smoking. I just know that you guys are. Okay. Okay. Or take a drink. Anyways. The G-spot. What I did a little. Okay. I'm getting all my knowledge from Wikipedia because it's just so. It has so much information. But it has a little too much information. But I guess there's a lot of thing about the G-spot is like. It's kind of like. It's kind of like. It's kind of like. It's kind of like. It's kind of like. It's kind of like. With the community. The doctor's community. It's like. Oh, up in there. Some believe. Yeah. Some believe it doesn't really exist. Right. Because it's not anatomical. They can't really like. You can't see the G-spot. Yeah. It's based on women saying. Yeah, I have this G-spot. But then if a lot of women aren't getting off and having orgasms, they're going to say, no, I don't have a G-spot. But I think everyone's kind of built differently. And it's like. No, they probably all have it. They just haven't. I think so too. But it's like. They're not enjoying it. Yeah. Hard to let go. Hard to relax. To kind of get that. Enjoying it, of course. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's hard to in the beginning. So that's what I'm saying. Try to find it yourself. Explore. I think it's easier that way. Because it's hard, I think, in a new relationship to, you know, work at it and try finding it. Okay. Yeah. That's my opinion on it. So, okay. I danced around the subject. Basically, I think so many years ago, I found it with a partner. But like, I don't really remember. Oh, you know what I was thinking? What? Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. When it hit. With my past partner, you know, back in the day, it was just like we said, letting go. I didn't really get let it go. But with my partner now, it's like, oh, there it is. Yeah. But it is after clitoral stimulation. It's easier. Yeah. Yeah. It's easier. It's like, oh. So even if I didn't have a big O with the first. Or maybe if I'm having multiples, but not the big final. Oh, I'm done. Yeah. It's definitely easier to have multiples with the G. Definitely. It's awesome. But if I had to be aroused first. Yeah. So have you ever found a G spot? Have you ever found a G spot? Have you explored? When you said, oh, I think I hit her G spot. Have you ever found a girl's G spot? One more time. Okay, listeners. Have you ever? Male listeners. Have you ever found a G spot? Or do you think you have? Do you mean? How do you know when you hit it? Have I made a lady come? Yeah, but not clitoral. G spidal. G spot. G spot. How about you explain the difference to the listeners? Well. To be. Well, first we want to ask you. What makes you think you found one if you found one before? I mean, to find the G spot. I. I. Only. I found it. I mean, as far as I know, I have made every girl I've had sex with in the past six months come. As far as you know. I'm not going to trust anybody. You know, it's like all liars out there. I can only trust. I can't see your eyes. I can't. I can't. Hey, you don't want to see my eyes. This is my second. My name is C. My name is Kyle Bloomberg. Okay. So, um, you think. Well, I mean, from what I've been told and what, what comes out on my dick. Yes. It's different. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't know. I'm just a dude. Well, okay. There's a clitoral orgasm. So you could use your hand or something else. Yeah. Vibrate or whatever. But I noticed with me, if after a lot of arousal. And then he spots aroused. I am. It's like a flood, like a whoa. Okay. Yeah. And yes. Okay. Yeah. Good job. Damn it. Yeah. Now, you know, there's no, there's never any, there's never any penetration without some arousal beforehand. There has to be some sort of simulation. Yeah. You couldn't go with hands, tongue, you know, bites, anything. That's what I was saying. Like, you know, with, with. Can't just fucking shove it in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm sure when you were a young man at eighteen. No, I'm just in tune. When you were 18 or the first time you did it? I don't know what I'm saying when you were very young. I lost my virginity when I was 14. Okay, did you? Oh, so you hit the G spot from that? No, absolutely not. Exactly. Are you kidding me? Yeah, no. No way. I'm going to say most young guys probably. No way. No. I don't know. My first relationship, I don't know what was going on. I never had an O, never had a G spot. I'll tell you the truth. What happened was the first time I had sex was with, I had a girlfriend in high school. Who was 17? No, no. We were both the same age, 14 and a half, just freshmen. And she got a bladder infection. It's because she was probably scared and she forgot to pee, right? You don't have to pee after having intercourse. I know they recommend that. It's a good idea, though. I'm talking about before, though. Before. I think she was just holding her pee because she got scared. Oh, yeah. Well, if you just hold your urine, maybe it might not even have been that day. She could have been just always someone who held her urine. I don't know. All I know is that we had sex at 14 and a half. She got a bladder infection. And then the next time we had sex, she came. Wow. Hmm. Did you like how I echoed when I did that? Wow. That was four weeks later, a month later. Hmm. It was still a little sketchy, you know, because I think we were both a little scared. I just want to slap my 21-year-old self. I'm going to slap my 18-year-old self. Sorry. Because I didn't win the lottery in that department, which is fine. I could have been pregnant at 18 or 19, and I wasn't. Hmm. What? I'll contemplate that now. Hmm. I'm pretty sure I don't have any little Travis's out there. Who's Travis? Little Kyle's. Little Kyle Bloomberg's. Sip another sip. Everyone have a drink. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, listener. So, yeah. But I have a lot more trust. Now with my, with my love now. That is a big factor, right? Yeah. Because I think I was a little fucked up and other stuff was in my head. And that's what I think. Yeah. I think it's harder the younger you are for a woman to kind of relax and get like comfortable in the relationship to go ahead and let loose and have that. Let go. Huh? And let go. Yeah. Let go and have like that kind of orgasm, G-spot orgasm. It's really hard to. You really have to trust the person. Be comfortable with yourself. And not be stressed out. Not be stressed out. It's a whole. Yeah. What the fuck? I don't understand. Why is it? Why is it? Why is it? When you're older that you get off more, but then you got more responsibility than the other shit to do. But when you have nothing to do but get drunk and have fun all week, you can't come. Right. But that's when you're not comfortable with yourself though. Oh yeah. Cause you're worried about what? Your zits? Just the whole body image and who you are and finding yourself. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then just, but you're sleeping with a ton of dudes or women or whatever you're sleeping with and you're still not comfortable cause you're looking for love in the wrong places. Wrong places. Yep. And you're looking for love in the wrong. This is. There's interesting something about a collagen shot in the G-spot. This woman, she was a sexy, sexy woman. G-spot injections, huh? Yeah. Yeah. It's collagen and in that little area and this doctor, of course in England, I don't know if they do it here in the US, but they do it here? They do here. Is it about $2,000? Uh-huh. Okay. $2,000 for a collagen shot in your G-spot. If you're having trouble finding it, they'll inject it to enlarge it so it's easier to hit. Isn't that crazy? So it makes it easier to spot and I think, obviously it's not going to last forever cause collagen is going to go down just like you have any facial filler. It's going to, you know, might go down four to six weeks. Yeah. But that lady had a big smile on her face. Yeah. She was all happy with her after interview. Oh yeah. Yeah. But I think maybe after you find it, then you know where it's at. It'll make it easier to find once you do find it. Mm-hmm. Nice. Mm-hmm. So if you're willing to spend, you know, 2G to come, then go for it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What the hell? I'm acting like a news reporter. Mm-hmm. Okay. Back to you. Okay. Any, any last tips? On G-Spot? Oh. Hmm. What was the next topic? Missionary position. Missionary. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Cause we're kind of flowing back and forth with us cause you know, it flows. Missionary position. Your comment. My comment? I like it. Yeah. Yeah. You like it? I mean, it's, it's nice. It works. Yeah. It works. Of course it works. It's like tried and true. I don't know. It's not like a favorite though. Um, yeah. I think G-Spot, like they're, they were trying whatever. I was watching on the missionary position. They were saying like, Oh, it could be good for the G-Spot, whatever to hit it. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so at all. For missionary position. You do? We got a big smile from Indiana. I like it, but I have reasons. You got reasons for the missionary? Yeah. But not G-Spot related? No. Do pushups. Oh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Lean and rest. Fuck. No way. I'm on the bottom for missionary, right? Oh yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was in the military. So I like to do some. She's on the top. You're doing pushups. She's aggressive. Pushups. Oh, I should try that. I can exercise. Wow. Lean and rest position. Move. Anyways. No. Yeah. The missionary position is called the missionary position because it's a fucking mission to come as a woman. Yeah, I think so too. It's nice. No, just kidding. It's not the preferred way. I guess because I'm boneheads. They misinterpreted the Bible and they were thinking that, you know, it's the only godly position. It's the only way. But I read something about basically they believed it was best for procreation. Why? Because of gravity. So because of gravity, the semen will fall down. Therefore, children will be born. Therefore, the missionary position is a godly way to procreate and have intercourse. And I guess something about missionaries would go. So in America, in America, in America, in America, in America, in America, in America, in America, And tell them not to do it. So they go to Africa and tell them not to do it like monkeys? Or not doggy style. No dogs, no monkeys. Yeah, basically. So they would do a missionary position. That's not preferred. I did see that in that little documentary or whatever it was we're watching. It's like, that is not the preferred way. Yeah. Unless you got a two-inch penis and it could hit right there. My friend who said that, yeah. In missionary? Yeah. Really? But look at, so, but the thing about the missionary position, it's good for romantic qualities. Wikipedia. Romantic qualities. It gives good opportunities for a couple to look into each other's eyes and kiss and caress. So that's good for I love you time. For those of you in a relationship and seeking for love. But no, it is good. It's good. I don't know. I think to start off, you know, in some sexy movies, I was watching an Ashton Kutcher movie and it was sexy with him on top. You know, and he was in missionary position. Ashton Kutcher. And, you know, he did a little missionary position and it looked pretty good. I felt romantic. It was a romantic comedy, but it was really like, it was hot. You know, she did the little fake. And then it was done. And I don't know. I don't know. I don't believe she enjoyed it. She totally didn't get off. But it was a cute movie with that little skinny girl. The one that was about the ballerina. I have no clue. Okay. But anyways. Yeah. So it's good for looking into each other's eyes, kissing and caressing. Oh, back in the day. Here's a little thing I liked. The Greeks. It didn't seem to work. Like it wasn't a favorite position. Why? Because they were marrying 14 year olds and 15 year olds. So I guess they couldn't really look into each other's eyes. So they found other positions more helpful. Helpful. Also, I guess. They thought birth defects would happen if they did any other positions. Any other way? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Because, you know, it was ungodly. Can I make a comment on missionary position? Yes, you can. I think it's discriminatory because gay males cannot use missionary position. Yeah, you could. They can? Yeah. I read it on Wikipedia. Like penis rubbing? Is that what you're thinking? No. Penis rubbing. Oh, I get what you're saying. Bend them back. No. No. Because it's all about looking into each other's eyes. Oh. No, they can't. So they're looking in the eyes and they're like rubbing penises. And that's the gay missionary? It's a man on top of another person. But if he can't be turned over, they have to be face to face. So how can they do that? You guys can be face to face. No, no. You know what, though? I know. But this topic for tonight is missionary position. I understand we might have gay listeners out there. But. Your parents must have been straight and they were doing missionary position. Or were they not? That's the question. That's the controversy in this question. Were they doing it another way? What about the dick and balls? Come on. No. Yeah. No, I know what you're saying. Yeah. But we're looking at 17th century. I don't get it. Dick. Ball. Dick. Balls. Oh, because if they're doing missionary and then the gay. Guys. Yeah. Penis. Penis. Hmm. I don't. I get his joke. I didn't come up with it, though. He's going to have to draw a picture. Yeah. It wasn't a joke. It was reality. Oh, I didn't know you were bi. But anyways. But yeah, we're talking about missionary position. Yeah. It's a little bit more for straight couples. Because why? Why? Why? Because it's like semen falls in order for a child Jesus to be born. Okay. So my take on the missionary position is I don't enjoy it if we're both laying flat. And if his legs are flat, like in the typical movie scene, like his legs are flat. Yeah. But listeners, if you have him adjust his body up and to more of a knees. Knees. Knees. Like he's a little bit more up on his knees. And then if feet laying flat on the ground or on the bed, then that works. And then you can put a pillow under your buttocks. That works pretty well. Feet on the chest. Yeah. Hey, I was going to tell you that one. Awesome, huh? So, I mean, these are variations on the missionary position. See, then we're hitting G-spot. Yeah. Because we already adjusted our body. Put your feet. Yeah. So if the man kind of gets on his knees, the woman puts her feet on his chest. That works. Yeah. But that whole my feet. We're having. I mean, Deanna is looking in awe right now. But that whole throwing my feet in back of my own ears don't work. Yeah. Which I know some of you men probably like that one. I guess it's. I'll let you. I'll let you have one for half a second. Hurry up. Stretch your legs. Okay. I need a good stretch. Hit it a little faster. Come on. Come on. Yeah. So that's called the. The anvil. Actually. Legs up. It's called anvil. Yeah. That's a preferred way. Yeah. But the standard missionary is like blah. Whatever. Blah. It's called the vanilla sex position. Vanilla sex? The vanilla sex position. What? You don't like that? That sounds very harsh. The vanilla sex position? It's kind of plain. Kind of plain. No spice. No flavor in it. No swirls. No chocolate swirl and strawberry. No lickety doo. No lickety doo. I don't know. I never called it the vanilla sex position, but I did read that somewhere. Okay. Yes, those variations are cool, but the standard's like meh. Let me play you a song. Let me play you a song. Let me play you a song. Nervous, nervous Hella hella hella nervous Nervous, nervous You make me nervous, nervous, nervous Hella hella hella nervous Nervous, nervous Cause you are long in the back Short in the wieners Look at my muff like a vacuum cleaner Long in the back, short in the wieners Look at my muff like a vacuum cleaner Long in the back, short in the wieners Look at my muff like a vacuum cleaner Long in the back, short in the wieners Look at my muff like a vacuum cleaner Look at my muff like a vacuum cleaner Look at my muff like a vacuum cleaner Look at my muff like a vacuum cleaner You make me nervous, nervous, nervous Hella, hella, hella nervous, nervous, nervous You make me nervous, nervous, nervous Hella, hella, hella nervous, nervous, nervous And she doesn't have the titties She doesn't have the ass She doesn't have the thick ass She's got the upper ass She doesn't have the titties She doesn't have the ass She doesn't have the thick ass She's got the upper ass Oh, why you always gotta be hella flashing on me, girl? Always gotta be hella arching your little back And woe is your little ass, girl Motherfucking, fucking, holy demon shit, girl Make me hella, hella, hella brainy Girl, I'm a little bit of a bitch You know I got a dick back home But you don't think I'm a girl Come on, give it up, girl You know you wanna show me Oh, girl, oh, girl, come on Oh, oh, oh, shit, girl Oh, oh, oh, you make me, girl You know you make me, you make me You make me, you make me Oh, oh, you make me I'm nervous, girl You make me nervous, girl That was Gravy Train Gravy Train? That was Gravy Train called Hella Nervous Suckin' my muff like a vacuum cleaner Anyways, so what was the next topic? Do you remember? Blowin' Oh, this is the reason that Kyle Blumenberg stayed here Because of blowjobs I hate Blowjobs I hate them being called blowjobs Hey, so did the women on the news Yeah, I don't like it The women on the thing We're not blowing, right? We're suckin' Do you like the word blowjobs? You don't care You're not blowjobs You're a person who don't care Yeah, I don't care That's a ring? Blowing on it? That'd be so funny Are you supposed to blow? Am I doing it wrong? I'm supposed to like That's a blowjob Is it like you're blowing dandelions? Blowing like a candle, you know? Make a wish, fucker Give that a try I wish it wouldn't blow It should be called more like licking and sucking or something Yeah A suckjob? Like a lollipop Lollipop job? Yeah, I don't like I don't know who can't blowjob, but So this is This little topic is dedicated to Dedicated to? Oral sex I was gonna say, what do you do? Sucking your man off So you could be gay in this scenario You could be a male gay in this scenario Yeah Yeah, so Tell me Blowjobs When did you start? When did I start? You and your You went like time and date And like I was at this location And you know Because this is This show is about discovery It's all you It's always you Okay, you Mindiana Do you remember the first time you did a blowjob? Let me think here Or sorry Gave a man oral sex I remember Yeah, I think so I think I remember number one I watched a lot of porn before that So I had a pretty good idea what I was doing Really? I found my dad's porn at such a young age I was shredding beef all through middle school What's that mean? How come no one in California knows what shredding beef is? What the hell is shredding beef? Think about it I've never heard that Think about it, your beef curtains I have never heard that Shredding beef? That sounds so gross No, seriously Manny doesn't know what shred beef is? Never heard of that I asked like my most perverted friends out there But as soon as you said it Yeah As soon as you said it We knew what it was Because we didn't know what we were talking about But I'm not sure if that's true But it sounds horrible It sounds disgusting It sounds delicious How about it? This person's from somewhere in the middle of the country Like Idaho Idaho I love potatoes Not corn Potatoes Oh, by the way Anyone listening out there If you want to contribute to this lovely topic Call 1-800-893-9562 Or hit us up on Facebook Yeah, but just don't talk too much Don't talk too much? What's that? Tell us if you enjoy giving the world sex I thought you meant during the blowjob I'm like, well, yeah, don't Of course not So the thing about We'll just say blowjobs Because we haven't gotten a cute name for it right now Or sex But I guess most men like it Most men enjoy it I'd say, yeah, 100% No, I'll go 99% Of men enjoy it? Yeah Who's the 1% you know that you've met at 1%? I actually knew of a guy who did not like it Maybe he didn't like the person who did it Or the person who was doing it Yeah, I think he had bad experience With the girls Was he gay? Huh? Was he gay? No Think about it, come on If he was gay, he'd probably like it more Well, if it was from a woman, no You have to close your eyes Well, this is the thing 45% of women do not enjoy oral sex Of course It's Of course I mean, it's You're sucking a fucking cock Hmm So wait But if you love your lover If you love your lover If you love your lover If you like sucking I think there's If you like sucking dick You like sucking dick If you don't You don't Well, get this I was one of those 45% That did not like it? Mm-hmm Really? Didn't do it? And that's fine I know lots of I know lots of girls who do not like sucking cock But I also knew I also know lots of girls who do like sucking dick Did you have better relationships with the ones who enjoyed it? No, no, we're talking about relationships With women that you were into No That does not make a break It's not a factor No Nah, not at all It didn't make It wasn't a factor No way I care less about I mean, blowjobs are an incentive Great Are you dating someone right now? No Okay So it's not a It's not a factor What I'm saying Looking back in your past Did you have better Nothing? My short past or my long past? Your long past Did you have a better relationship with somebody? No, you had nothing to do with that, huh? I don't have I mean In my past period I don't have great relationships No Hmm! No Kyle Blumenberg is single, ladies They're very rocky They're very passionate And they end very abruptly Fizzles out Hmm We'll discover why Or they go on for five years And on and off You never know Indiana? Oh, she's Not plugged in You don't have to talk about enjoying Oh, can you hear us? Can you hear us? I didn't hear your question Enjoying oral sex Are you like 25%? I'm 25% Oh, yeah But this girl is shredding beef She said she was into it So you're into the You're into the She was into it You were into the cock and balls Um It got symbolic I'm alright with it I don't know if I totally enjoy it After a while I probably enjoy it to the point Where I'm all like Alright, do me now But, um My turn I like to see I like to see my boyfriend's happy face And it makes him happy And if I get a back rub out of it Then all the better Aww Where's your back at? Your back rub? Your back rub? Your back rub? After, after There's the cuddle The cuddles Yeah It's worth it for a cuddle and a smile Satisfy me So this is the thing with the Um And of course we know like 45% women don't enjoy it And I was one of those I didn't enjoy it I didn't want to do it And I remember telling a friend of mine That I didn't want to do it Because my jaw hurt And watching that little video And there was a woman Another woman Who says my jaw hurts Right? So I just didn't do it I didn't enjoy it And I was like Motherfucker I didn't enjoy it And I, you know I tried it like a couple times With my ex And just nah Didn't do the whole thing But, so get this I break up With, with the ex And of course I have a friend Who's a little bit knowledgeable In the sexy department Or maybe she just watched a lot of porn Or maybe those educational videos That now I'm watching Um She was, she was talking about Yeah, when you're going down on your man Or sucking him off You use your hand And you're like And you make the okay sign So basically the okay sign And using the pressure of your hand That, that, that helps So she kind of just did a little motion thing And showed her hand right there And it was just Yeah, it was a random thing That she showed me at a party And we were drinking and something And then of course now with my new man And like I remember that she said that So now I try that Easy Yeah Easy peasy Japanesey Yeah, I'm the 55 Okay Okay Yeah, make the okay sign It's okay to do it But basically So in my research I was just cheating In my research There's a professional sex addict Or no, just kidding A professional sexologist And her name is Lou Padgett And she was just talking about how Um, with oral sex Um, you are creating an imposter vagina Like a fake vagina And the three things that's satisfying for the man are It, it's like a fake vagina It's being warm It's moist And there's feeling pressure So with, um, when you're giving oral sex Then with your mouth You're giving the, um, the warmth and the moisture And before like women are hurting their jaws Is because they're also doing the pressure With their, with their mouth But by using your hand and doing the okay sign You're, you're using the You're using your hand for the pressure And your mouth can just kind of stay open And relax Yeah, relax That's true So I'm like, okay, I'm going to do this I'm going to do this I'm going to do this Give me that So yeah, so like you, you know If you're a man listening And you know, maybe if you're a woman If you guys are in love If you're an asshole, fuck it You're lucky if she even puts her hand Or her mouth on your dick I've, I've kissed one guy once And I remember he was like He implied like if I was going to go down on him And I was like, I don't know you You don't imply, first of all Imply Uh-uh, there's no implications You don't ever tell a girl to go down on you Yeah, he was like, are you going to go down on me? And I was like, I kind of like laughed And I was like, let's go Later Yeah, and it was just like He kissed me and stuff So he assumed He assumed I was going to be all groupie or something I don't know So that didn't happen But there are girls though That truly do love to suck wiener Yeah, but because they probably use their hand They make the okay sign I had a, I had a girlfriend in the past year and a half That she gave me a head in the shower And then afterwards she's like I'm going to go down on you Oh yeah, I just answered your question Because before, like two days later I'm like, oh, do you spit or swallow? Yeah, she answered my question Aww, in the shower Aww Right? Right on our knees So you know someone who swallowed? She swallowed my cum She didn't throw up? No, she liked it Wow She was into it Yeah, see I can't see myself doing that And she was older than me Blah, blah Boo Ah, boo I'm a sensitive person I'm glad you said shower though Because I believe that does make a difference I'm kind of a little bit of a germ person Ah, you're a germaphobe No, I'm not a germaphobe But we know a lot of people have diseases We know, like, okay, women, men If you're ever going to go down on someone Make sure you look at that penis Before you put your mouth on it Because you see any little No, but there's people who end up having sores And things like that on their mouth If it looks like the hemorrhoids Don't go for it Don't go for it, right? Yeah, but there are people that end up having sores on their mouth They don't know And then they can't get treatment Why? Because there's, you know Like you were talking about Planned Parenthood At least we're in California of listeners There's a program, you know, called Family Pack And it helps patients get reproductive healthcare It covers treatment for STD testing So yeah, you could get tested for STDs You could get treatment for it But it's talking about reproductive healthcare Right If those sores are not on your vagina If those sores are not on your penis Then that program will not pay for your treatment It will not pay for sores that are on your mouth It will not pay for sores that are on your asshole So, you know, you still should be looking at that penis And the thing is, washing that penis is very good Because one Oh, I know you want to talk Let me just finish I'm scared of strep throat No, but you know, if you're not in a committed relationship You shouldn't be doing it without it You just Have you ever tried to cut? It doesn't matter You can still get stuff without any lesions No, yes, we know that Yeah That's why But they should still wash it That's what All it took me was one friend to tell me That her doctor told And I'm being one of those person My friend's doctor told her That she could get strep throat By going down on a guy Bacteria is everywhere So, like, you should still wash your penis Because, you know, some people are drummers No, it makes a world of difference So you'd be drumming You'd be sucking your penis You being a groupie girls out there And sucking on your drummer's cocks And they've been They've been drumming away Like, oh my God, that was such a good show Let me go down on you You're so sweaty Yeah So, no, no, shower We're more apt to try if you're clean Also, no, just check Look at it, but sniff it Yeah, if it smells strange There's something up It smells like a bum tunnel Yeah Make them take a shower Oh, man A bum tunnel? Yeah, a bum tunnel A bum tunnel? Yeah, a bum tunnel? Yeah, a bum tunnel? Yeah, a bum tunnel? Yeah, a bum tunnel? Yeah, a bum tunnel? Yeah, a bum tunnel? It smells like Echo Park pee tunnel Inspect it That's true But you know what? Like, if you don't know that penis You should be, you know, very careful about it Have you, um, okay? Have I what? Oral sex with a condom You tried that Have I tried it? I have Yeah, you know, way I'm thinking way back I remember those flavored condoms, yeah I did it just for the Just for the experimental purposes Whatever the hell it was Yeah I've tried it for experimental purposes Yep To go down on my man with a flavored condom Mm-hmm Yeah Not so great It was interesting It didn't taste that good It was supposed to be cherry So I'm not caring about the penis part I'm talking about the taste of the condom Doesn't it just taste like plastic? It tasted like It was very light cherry Like, if it was, like, more flavor It could have been, like, a Lucas With chili on it A McDonald's frappe No They have all fruit smoothies now No Better than cherry condoms No Yeah No, but I mean, they have to make a condom, like, with it What about, have you ever tried, like, um Oh, pixie dust Food involved or, like, sauces Uh-uh I can't do it I came to this conclusion Everyone's all like, whipped cream, chocolate sauce Yes I'm talking barbecue sauce Oh, God Those things don't taste like ice cream Those things They taste like sausage Like meat You've tried that before? Hey, let me ask you something Does your, your man knows now that you're doing, um Our, our, our friend Mindy Anna now is the new, uh, tech gal What would Soundboard up Soundboard engineer Soundboard engineer, um, a.k.a. The person with the comments Make sure you The peanut gallery Um Does your man know that Your man knows that you're on this show Cause I know we had you as a guest before Yeah, I don't know if he knows, like, I doubt he's listening, but Oh, okay Would that weird you out or do Cause I feel like, and I love my man and I asked him not to listen He might be listening now cause then I felt bad Cause he knows I'm funny He wants to listen cause I'm funny But at the same time there's this sense of I'm in that boat, like, I try to be funny and I pretty much, through my drunken teenage years Like, all my friends totally know about my love of man ass Like, over and over and over again No, but I mean, is there something about your current lover Being weirded out about you expressing your sexual endeavors I guess I don't know if he knows I'm really, like, talking about this stuff, but Barbecue sauce I'm just saying, it tastes like bacon, right? No It tastes like meat It doesn't, it's salty, it's not sweet So I don't know why you'd put whipped cream on it That's all I'm saying Or cherry I was thinking chili Chili Like a little Lucas chili powder Oh, like hot sauce? No, I'm just joking, I can't do that No, I was talking about on the condom, but I knew somebody who dipped it, their guy You know what, just wash it I don't care Kool-Aid Kool-Aid You know the powdered, sugared Kool-Aid? Yeah, did you like that? I knew somebody who dipped it in, like a dipstick Coated it But then she couldn't produce enough saliva to get it off So it was all, like, rough and, like, sandy But then she couldn't produce enough saliva to get it off Is it blue? What color? That would be funny I wouldn't do red, I'd do blue Ay, ay, ay Hmm I think, you know what, that was very interesting I bet you we, there's a lot of stuff about Well, basically, moisture, warmth, and using your hand And if you're right-handed, ladies, use your right hand Because I'm not left-handed And there's a certain, like, angle that I have to be in and stuff But if he loves it, he loves me And then he's more passionate with me And I think, you know, maybe that's the case with you If you're having nonchalant sex You know, fuck it If you want a relationship And you don't know if he loves you yet Don't go down on him Don't get Why get milk for free when you could buy the cattle? Or whatever Why buy the cattle when you could get the Why buy the cow if you could get the milk for free, you know? And that guy's kind of You might be dating an asshole Who thinks like that So don't give him head That's my advice For sexy time talk tonight Don't give the milk for free Just let him Just give him a little taste Just kidding Okay, you know what? We only have a couple minutes But I'm going to play this song The whole truth and nothing but the truth So help me God In the name of the Father This is 59 seconds The Son And the Holy Ghost Amen Oh, yeah? Oh, I know who that is Sodomy Palatio Conalingas Pederasty I do it I just put them in Father Why do these words sound so nasty? Masturbation And before Join the holy orgy I'm a student Everywhere Okay, is the song over? The song's over That was called Sodomy By the hair musical Is the show over? The show? I have like 20 seconds to fucking talk 20 seconds Oh, sorry, I have a whole minute That was on the hair soundtrack The song is called Sodomy Do you know what Sodomy is? Forever I never knew what Sodomy is You didn't know? Yeah, tell me what it is Because maybe I still don't know Oh, she knows Anal sex In particular Rough gay anal sex Actually, sort of right You tell me Yeah I was going to say anal sex Well, on Wikipedia One more time No, just kidding Just kidding Basically, it's other than vaginal You know, intercourse with a man and a woman So mouth? Yeah Including oral sex So it's basically anything other than The acceptable British royalty Catholic Protestant Valuable sexy sex Okay, this is Sexy Time Talk Thank you We'll read your emails We'll talk about you next time We're not going to be here next week Because we have our periods We'll see you in two weeks We're going to have a conversation We're going to have an abortion panel As soon as we can Play us out, Sam See you later Immaculate C in the house And Ms. T