what's up my friends it's wednesday we are here with you and this is oral stimulation i'm so ready to have a good time tonight i smell something funny in the air you can smell funny yes i can that would be my amazing co-host alex how are you doing tonight what's up melissa's friends i think you're talking about all my friends too shout out to my friends let's shout out to everybody ever all of our listeners we're so happy that you guys are joining us tonight of course if you want to talk back to us oral stim at gmail.com twitter at oral stim and facebook and anywhere else you want to find us of course we will have our amazing austin tweeting live during the show shout out to austin thank you austin so much so we have so much to cover tonight let me let me get back to the right page look at the right page i'm going to compliment you actually you look very nice tonight well thank you look really pretty showing off your long legs it's the heels huh it's always the heel these are like the little school girl heels closed toe i know almost like a 20 year old oh just like that you just can't wait to talk about it can you you had a very exciting weekend in vegas and we're gonna get to that but first we're gonna start with bent con i was there all weekend drumming up some new listeners for us so hopefully you guys are all out there because i had a great time meeting you um first of all we have to shout out to the awkward conversations people because they're the ones who set it all up for us and jeremy was there of course they were broadcasting live on saturday we had a ton of great guests come through and of course that's all in the archives um if you don't know what bent con was it's an lgbt convention but there is definitely more g than l in there it was a lot of fun there was a lot of um like erotic comics really there was a lot of dick i'm not gonna lie like straight out there yeah wow it was all like drawings of guys groping each other drawings though not necessarily like like comics okay gotcha yeah um there was a lot of costumes what was the favorite one for you batman was really intricate but which batman yeah i know there was like three no i know are you talking like uh the old school and like in tights like during the tv show are you talking batman like dark knight like where is he like well the guy was wearing like a helmet or something and i kept talking to him and he kept ignoring me and like a batman in a helmet it was like a full hat thing i don't know but then when someone else talked to me he's like oh yeah totally i was like what i maybe because i was a girl maybe he didn't rock his boat yeah that could have something to do with it but the coolest thing i saw by far were these shoes you any you can take any pair of shoes and this designer what's his name aj catalano will put lights in them any type of shoe yeah it could be a heel it could be a tennis anything any kind of shoe you send it to him and he puts it in like rubber and he does all the lights on the bottom and everything it's super cool so i want some when you when you walk does it light up or yeah you can either set them to light um all the time consistently or as you take steps oh that's and he's doing it all the time and i'm like oh my god i'm so excited to see him and i'm like oh my god i've done them for like a ton of celebrities are they like little crisps lights in a shoe kind of yeah they're like little led lights that's actually pretty cool i know and someone was like no it's like the little kid lights but they're way cooler than those how did you find out how much that cost yeah is it expensive yeah so you have to trust them with a pair of your shoes which could be anywhere for like 10 bucks like a thousand well if you're one of those people who buys five hundred dollar shoes who would do that yeah right awesome bossy are you wearing them tonight no actually i'm not wearing them tonight that's good pay attention to my shoes yeah but no these these shoes are like 650 dollars that's crazy i know i was pretty impressed with the whole show though but i did think and i would like to start a petition to change the name from bent con to comic cock because i think it's more fitting comic cock yeah okay so we're gonna get that going see if we can work on them for next year i think you need to come up with um like a model i mean like an emblem or like a some sort of it'll be just a huge cock a huge cock and put like comic on it yeah i think maybe with a hand wrapped around it there you go with a good manicure i don't know would you make it veiny we'll model it after yours so if yours is veiny we're gonna go veiny that's cool yeah when can we start tomorrow all right okay see how easy that is the best part was this is what she missed out on i got fan candy someone brought me skittles who was it was it a secret admirer no he just handed them to me what did he say he said hey listen to the show yeah like people actually listen yeah i'm surprised that's what happens when you have the most downloads on skid row studios hey i i love it though i'm happy so bent con went awesome we had fun but the real news is what you were doing this weekend because it sounded crazy i was getting texts all over the place something about vietnamese girls something about a nylon was used in a funny way i want to hear everything shout out to cray cray and her birthday um actually i went out with a group of friends to vegas for a birthday and those girls know how to party i'll tell you that much they know how to party they know how to party they know how to party they know how to party they know how to party they know how to drink they know how to have fun they know how to dance unless you're like a fish out of water they know to have fun how many girls did you go with um actually i flew out with the birthday girl and there was actually a group of other ones that met up with us there i think at one point that totaled probably around like nine to ten girls total how many did you hook up with um at what point throughout the week throughout the weekend too two yeah at the same time no not at the same time you said you were gonna do a three song well this is where it gets interesting i mean i failed you gave me an assignment last week and i here i am being a cocky asshole thinking that could happen but it didn't happen that way it was two girls but not at the same time it was at different times but the twist to it is it happened one after another i couldn't do it at the same time yeah were they both in the room no did they know about each other are they friends no it happened where did you at least take a shower in between no is that fucked up you know what i was i was practically raped the second time really the first time it was voluntary i volunteered it second time it was like it was one of those things i was falling asleep you know next thing you know one thing leads to another then it was on like that and donkey kong is that fucked up are you gonna press charges no all right no charges need to be pressed okay if you've got a better story than that well that's do you want to hang on yeah i want to hear it but hang on if you have a better story than that 1-800-893-9562 see if you can top alex and his voluntary and involuntary experiences from the weekend okay so that's just one typical weekend it's vegas yeah i mean i don't know vegas has always been my playground to get away so the first girl where did you find her was it one of your no actually the the first girl that i hooked up with um we were at this happened saturday night we were at um a club in vegas not a strip club a regular dance club um and i was with my friend and we were being followed by these two white girls right and i looked at my friend and i go hey is it me or are they checking us out he's all no you're drunk i'm like no i think you know because you you get a sense like if somebody's following you or not or they got their eye on you and we looked around and they were with guys so i'm like oh man that's done with wait so they were following you and the guys were following them yeah so i didn't know if they were together or not okay so i went and actually i went to go play craps at the craps table and these two girls were asked this actually i won a bunch of money i probably bought him for 200 cashed out like 1200 because one of my really good friends he plays craps he does this iron cross thing and for somehow i actually came up i want some money and these girls i told you to gamble for me was that my nickel no your nickel didn't do good too good in the beginning i had a little comeback so what happened was i was like oh my god i'm gonna go play craps and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to take off the ticket if you want to win and how to play craps. I bet they did. So the guy next to me was asking him, like, do you know how to play? So he broke the ice. He was kind of planning to see the whole thing. And I'm playing, focusing on trying to win some money back. He nudges me. He's like, dude, these girls want to hook up. And I go, what? Wait, their wingman nudged you and said? No, my buddy. Your buddy. Okay, okay. Nudged me and he pretty much said like, these girls want to hook up. I go, yeah, right. So I look over and they pretty much wanted a party. It was that simple. So I cashed out talking to him. And then I was teasing him because they're white girls. I go, cotton candy needs to go on a stick. So at that point. What is cotton candy? What do you mean? Like pink pussy. That's what you call it? That's what you call a white girl? Yeah. Cotton candy? Because when you beat up like a white pussy, it's like nice and pink. Right? So that needs to go on a stick. So cotton candy needs to go on a stick. You never heard that? Make that up right now. No, you never heard that before? No. Me and my friends were on another level. So anyways, we go. It helped out that they were staying at the hotel we were at. We go up to the room and my buddy hooks up with a girl. Right? And it was kind of awkward because I wasn't really feeling the girl. She goes, hey, do you want to come with me in the bathroom? I go, yeah, fuck it. Let's go. We go in the bathroom. She doesn't line a coke. Gives me a blowjob. No sex there. No, we leave. Okay. We go back to our hotel. And then that's when it got a little wilder. Because we go back to the hotel we were staying at. We had some friends that were staying with us. We get into the room. They're knocked out. They were drunk. They were knocked the fuck out. So we creep in like at five in the morning. And at this point, you know, one girl on each bed. So I go in one bed with one girl and my buddy goes in another bed with another girl. Was it Austin? Maybe. So then we go over to our hotel. And then at that point, Austin jumps in the bed. With you? No, with one of the girls. I wake up to Austin fucking this girl. Right? Okay. How does he sound? Because if you guys have never seen Austin, he's cute. Look. I have everybody watch the webcam. Yeah, turn on the webcam and watch this. I say Austin's a cross between like Tiger Woods and come on man, Terrence Howard. He's got like a cross between. Is he loud? Is he dirty? Does he say nasty things? You know what? The girl that he was with was pretty wild. That's what woke me up. And at that point, when that was going on, I'm like, dude, this is actually kind of cool because I got like a live porn in the same room in the bed next to me. Sure. And I'm with the girl. The girl wakes up. Because at that point, I think I start like, I'm like actually like focusing and listening to it. She wakes up and then she starts doing some stuff to me. And then one thing leads to another. And the next thing you know, we're both going at it. That's crazy. That sounds like something I did in college. My boyfriend and I were with another couple in the same room. We were all in one hotel room and we were actually sharing a bed. And I heard her making some crazy noises. That turns you on, right? It's really hot. I don't know what it is about it. I think I know somebody else is getting off. I don't know what it is. I get turned on by it. So wait, did you see Austin's ass and that's what turned you on? No. I did not see that. Because I would have done it for me. That's all I'm saying. Seeing another girl's ass or another guy's? Austin's. Well, I don't know about that. I really try not to look that way. Okay. What the guy actually got me was I saw this girl jumping up. Jumping down like a jackrabbit on his cock. Reverse cowgirl. Wait, wait. You're going to have to explain how you can jump like a jackrabbit on a cock without breaking it. Well, talk about like grindhouse. Like she was just jumping up and down like grinding him. It's like she had switches. Like a frog? No. Where were her knees exactly? I mean, were they like right under her? Austin was laying down on the bed. Got it. Right. And she was reverse cowgirl. So facing away. And she was on top of him just riding up and down, jumping up and down. Well, not literally jumping, but just like kind of riding. So her knees were up or her knees were on the bed? Her knees were up like she was squatting. Got it. So it was like a little squat and then she was jumping up and down. Austin's so red right now. Dude, you probably didn't know I was checking it out. Anyways, it was like one of those things where it's like, damn, dude, he's getting it. And I wanted to go like, here comes the tag. Why didn't you? No, I... It's Vegas. It's your playground. Get on it. I couldn't. He was having too much fun. So you rolled over and you got with the girl that you were in bed with? Mm-hmm. Was she cute? Yes. Are you going to talk to her again? Yeah. Did you go to a sandwich shop and get fake married? No. We didn't get that crazy. Okay. That's actually a little crazy. That only happened once in my lifetime to go to a sandwich shop to get fake married. That is a little crazy. So actually, after the first girls that we hooked up with, I totally... You know what I told her after? I told her yellow. She's like, yeah, you only live once. You know what I told her? What did you tell her? I said, no, it's you obviously love oral. She didn't appreciate that. That didn't work out too well. So it was good though? The blowjob in the bathroom? The blowjob in the bathroom. It was great. Describe the technique. The technique. Okay. I'm standing up, right? And I'm like, how's this going to work out? I'm standing up. She gets down on her knees. The first thing she does, she goes to the bottom of my penis, licks my balls, and then works her way up and just goes to work. What's she doing with her tongue? Her tongue was actually, it was like on the bottom, like underneath, like so her teeth wouldn't grind. Mm-hmm. And the top, she was... Her tongue was like on the bottom of her lip. So her tongue was like a kind of an extension, I guess, of her lip. Sure. And just kind of stroking it and sucking it. Did she get her hands involved? Yeah. She was playing with my balls. She had her hand like on the base of my penis and kind of stroking a little bit while she was sucking on it. Did she look cute or did she look crazy? I thought she kind of tore up, to be honest with you, at that point. Because we had a long night. We were dancing. At this point, her mascara is all over her face. Imagine, like, I'm standing up on my face. I'm like, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm standing up. I have this girl on her knees looking up at me, sucking my dick with mascara running down her. Ooh, did she have the tears and the whole, like, gagging look? Because some people are really into that. No. Shit, I wish I could have made her gag. It didn't happen like that. That's kind of hot, though, right? To get the mascara dripping down the cheeks. Yeah. Yeah. It was kind of messed up, but it wasn't that messed up where it was all, like, watery and, like, dripping down her face. Was it awkward afterwards? No. No, not at all. What do you say? You're just like, oh, okay. I told her, I looked her in the eye and go, you were absolutely fabulous. I give you a 10 for your performance. She looked at me and gave me a hug and said, thank you. And that was it? That was it. That's so Vegas. You know, stuff like that happens. I mean, I don't, sometimes I don't believe it. It's like when I was leaving with Austin, we're sitting there, like, talking about it, and he looks at me and he's like, this is why I go to Vegas with you, because shit like this happens. Yeah, you do. You get all up in the craziness, huh? Well, not really. I think stuff just finds me. Why don't you do it out here? Do what out here? Get equally crazy. I think it's different out here. I think too many people know me. Oh, that's true. I don't know. Yeah, but you have a lot of contacts in Vegas, too. If you're going to get known out there, then you're going to have to move somewhere else, like Scottsdale. I don't know. I haven't been to Scottsdale. See? I could plant my seed in that territory. It's a big place. It's a big party town. Scottsdale is? Mm-hmm. Bigger than Vegas? No. Nothing's bigger than Vegas. Well, what do you think party town-wise? I mean, would you say New York, maybe Miami, LA, Vegas? What would you think the number one would be? I've never been east of Iowa. Never? No. So if anybody wants to take me, 800-893-9562. Tell me where we're going. You want to go west, though. Don't you want to go to Vegas? Don't you want to go to Vegas? Don't you want to go to Vegas? You want to go to Hawaii? Yeah, I want to go to Hawaii so bad. So bad. That week between Christmas and New Year's. I'm trying to make it happen. We'll see. I don't know. Everything happens for a reason, so we'll see if it works out. All right. I really hope it does. So there. I broke my golden rule of what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. I totally said it on air. Thank you. I let out my laundry. So now, you've totally set a precedent, and every time you go to Vegas, I want to hear more and more. No. Unless there's another assignment. That's what I'm being given. Wait. Okay, but that's not even the big news. What's the big news? There's other news, because you've been talking to a girl, and now you like her, don't you? Yes. Yeah. Very much so. Yeah. So later in the show, we're actually going to be talking about the milestones of a new relationship when you start doing crazy things, what you talk about. Yeah, I have a couple questions for you. I think we should play a game, actually. I say, we do like a 21 questions, or like 20 questions. I'll ask you questions about when we should do stuff in relationships. At that point, you just answer honestly whatever comes off the top of your head. That sounds scary. The top of my head is a strange and crazy place. Well, we're in a safe place now. You can say what you want. That's true. We're in the cocoon, so everything is good. I want to get back to Austin and this girl, though. Okay, what do you want to know? Well, it sounded like she was doing crazy positions right off the bat, right? Well, to get to know Austin a little bit, he's kind of a prude, so he needs to have an aggressive girl. And I think what actually started it off, they were actually dancing on the dance floor, and the girls that we were with, they were holding his hands so he couldn't move. And the girl that really liked him, she was aggressive and started taking off his tie, taking off his shirt, unbunning his pants, like literally on the dance floor. So they're sitting there dancing, and he's sitting there like, no, no, no, no, no, but yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But I think at that point, he was kind of starting to get embarrassed, and then it stopped, because he had to muscle his way out of it. You're so red. I've never seen you so red. What are you so nervous about? Me? No. You're not red. You're spilling all his secrets. Oh, it's always easier when it's not yours, it's someone else's. That is true. You're right. So this girl, though, the girl that he was with, she was doing reverse cowgirl. Yes. And? At that point, I stopped focusing, because how do you go and tell the girl that you're with, hey, let's check out what they're doing? At that point. Well, hey, some couples watch porn together. Yeah, but at that point, I kind of respected the privacy of what they were doing, and I'm lying, and I'm respecting the privacy of mine as well. Okay, that makes sense. I understand that. But it was fun. I mean, regardless. The morning after is always tough, especially when you got to drive back. That's true. That drive is hard. But I think it's one of those things. I think when we go back to Vegas, I think it's one of those things where I think someone would always invite us again when they go back. People always like to have fun. Do you keep these girls' numbers? And do you call them? Or do you find new girls? No, the white girls that we hooked up with, it wasn't even... It was nothing. It just kind of came and gone. You know how she got me, honestly? The first thing, or the one thing she told me that totally stuck with me, she's like, I want you to spit on me. And I looked at her like all puzzled. And she goes, but with your penis. Oh, yeah, you texted me that. What is that? You tell me. Who comes up with that stuff? I want you to spit on me with your penis. Who comes up with that? That is disgusting. Well, it got me. I'm like, let's go. I can't even say that. I told the dealer, cash me out. Hang on, hang on. I'm going to try to say it again. Okay, so I'm looking at you around the dance floor. Okay. I want you to spit on me with your penis. No, it doesn't work. You said it differently. I think it's different if you're intoxicated and the girl's whispering it in your ear. It's ridiculous. Completely different. At that point, you know, your inhibitions are different. They're altered. Oh, my gosh. I just look at her and take me to a happy place. All right, so we are actually going to go to a very short break here, but after the break, we're going to go into all these questions. What do you do in a new relationship? This is going to be good. We'll see how it goes. We'll be back. Hey, we are Awkward Conversations. Check us out on skidrowstudios.com live every Saturday from noon to one Pacific Standard Time. And you can call in 1-800-893-9562. It's about to get awkward up in here. Like that time that your dad confronted you. Oh. I know. Yeah. I said, Daddy, I don't like that very much. He said, do it. They say you're cool. I'm glad you're cool. Listen to Skid Row Studios anytime, anywhere with the Skid Row iPhone app for your smartphone. Skid Row Studios. Real internet radio. Hey, guys. So we are back and we're going to play a little game that I'm kind of nervous about. Because Alex here is getting started in this exciting new venture with a beautiful girl. Yes. And you like to take it slow. Very slow. But it sounds like she's kind of speeding things up. Well, yes and no. It's one of those things like I don't mind falling in the lead. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of how you roll, though. I mean, you kind of like to maintain power from behind, don't you? Yeah, I think I consider myself a true alpha male. I really lay back and when I need to speak, I speak. And I get crazy. You get crazy. Well, in bed wise. Okay. I'm more of like I let you think you have control, but in reality, I have control. I'm the same way. So who has control here? You always have control. Don't try to turn it around. I know I do. I know. You asked me who has control and I told you the answer. You have control. Don't start playing games with me, Alex. No games will be played, ma'am. All right. On the topic of games. Okay. So this is how it works. Okay. It's when you're in a relationship, how long do you wait before you do something? Now, is it when you're in a relationship? Yeah, when you're in a relationship. Or is it when you're starting a relationship? No, when you're in a relationship. Well, it's kind of like when you're in a relationship, like at the beginning, start like from the very beginning, I guess. From the first time you meet this person. Yeah, I mean. From the first time they call your hotline and you show up at their hotel room. Their hotline. What the heck? Yeah, that only lasts like 30 minutes. And at the end, you're asking for a receipt so you can use it as a tax write-off. Business expenses. Yeah. Okay. So this is like right from the time you meet someone. Yeah. And you decide you're attracted to them. Say you meet a guy, he's, you know. Like in a green room? Yeah, in a green room and you're kind of interested. At a comedy club? Yeah. Okay. There you go. Okay. I'm just trying to set the scene. Okay. So you're in a comedy club, you meet a guy in a green room and you're looking at him and you wonder what his fuck face is. Always. And you wonder, um, wait, what's the other thing you wonder about? I wonder what kind of noise people make. Noise they make? Okay. All right. So how long in a relationship do you wait before you do the first kiss? I like to get it out of the way right away. So. No, you know what? I totally follow the guy's lead on that. I'll make it known that I like the guy, like I've said, but if he wants to kiss me, he's gonna have to go for it. But usually in a relationship, um, is the kiss usually, does that say a lot about a guy? That's what I'm saying. You know what? I kind of start relationships in a different kind of way. Okay. Well, we'll have fun with this. How long do you wait before you fuck? I tend to go into everything thinking it's a one night stand. So first five minutes. Yeah. No, within the first couple of times of meeting someone, because you want to know if they're good. I mean, what if they're like a total potato in bed and then you can't really care about them. We carry on relationship because like for me, sex is very important. Okay. We'll talk about it in a minute. How about when you just discuss like the seriousness or like being exclusive after how many fucks or how many, um, you know, once I hook up with someone, I'm exclusive to them, whether they are or not. And I'm not shy about saying that either. Like, look, because I got burned that way on a technicality. Okay. Next question. How long in the relationship, do you wait to kind of discuss finances? Like joining Canada? Forever? I don't want to ever talk about it. So you never talk about it? No, I mean, I will, but I don't want to. But what would you feel is right? Like the beginning towards the middle? Finances killed my marriage. Okay. That's out. How long do you wait before you fart in front of the other person? Ever. I wouldn't. No, I won't. If I'm awake, I will not fart in front of you. That's so nasty. It's so gross. Never? No. So that would suck if you wouldn't leave the door open. Like, if he left the door open and he was pooping? Or you? I won't do that. Lock the door. I'll push something in front of the door. Turn on the shower. These are things that are never going to happen. This is a total fail game. How long? No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, if it's coming out of my butt, you're not going to be there to see it. They won't see it, but you could have the door open and be like, hey, I need to run. Why? That's so gross. I don't know. It's just random stuff to see comfort levels between guys and girls. There's no comfort there. How long do you wait before you tell him I love you? I fall in love really fast. Faster than people probably fall in love with me. Like a year faster. So I'm actually testing something new. The next guy that I'm with, I'm going to wait till he says it first. I'm not even going to try to push for it. But actually, I wanted to ask you something on that really quick. Okay. Go for it. Because I read somewhere that when a guy falls in love, there's like a moment that it hits them. They're like, oh, damn, maybe this is the girl, right? But they tend to kind of dance around it to figure out what you feel. So they'll drop little clues like, oh, I love your hair. I love your smile. I love being with you. They work up to it. So they're planning to see. Is that true? You know what though? I tell them straight out if that's how I feel. I've never been shy to tell someone how I felt. What are you, just drop it on them once? Yeah, I'm like, you know what? I really have strong feelings for you. Like I think at that, well, I usually use like in like, I would start off with like a baby crush. I got like a kindergarten crush on you, like a baby crush. And I would develop into like, I'm in like with you. And at that point, if they get past the whole in like thing, then, you know, maybe I'll use the L word. But do you turn it into a special event? Yeah. You take them out to dinner? Yeah. I'm the helpless romantic like that. If someone tells me they love me, I want to be a Yamashiro. Just throwing it out there. All right. So anybody who's listening. Anybody who's listening, who wants to call in and take me across the country and bring me back to Yamashiro to tell me they're in love with me, call us at 1-800-893-9562. Okay. So go on the port with that. At what point do you tell me you discuss marriage? Right away. So right away? Right away. So you won't even tell me you love them, but you'll discuss marriage right away? Yeah. You start it off as a joke. That's what I do though. I start it off as a joke just to kind of see where they are. If they're like terrified, I'm not even going to waste my time because I know I want to be in a serious relationship with someone. And if they tell me right off the bat, like, no, that's never an option. It's never going to happen. Don't even think about it. I'm hooking up with six other girls. I'll walk away. I'm not going to waste my time. Okay. And at what point do you discuss past relationships? I mean... Do you bring it up voluntarily? Yeah. Do you bring it up voluntarily? Yeah. Or if he asks, would you... You kind of have to because the past kind of makes you who you are. So is it like first date status or would you wait after you've slept with him a couple times? What if you sleep with him on the first date? Well, I'm asking you. You tend to do it. You bring it up, I guess. It's a good thing to know because if someone talks about their ex with a lot of hostility, you know, someday you're going to be the ex and you're going to be the one who's hated. And it's like, you don't even want to start with that drama. To walk around. You don't want to tip your toe around it. I gotcha. What if they ask, how many people have you slept with? I don't know. Just make up a number. Who cares? That's good. I like that answer, actually. Make up a number based on how intensely they ask you the question. So if there was like... Tell me, how many people have you slept with? None. Just you. So, Melissa, we've been like fucking for like four times already and tomorrow will be our fifth time if we hook up again tomorrow. How many people have you fucked? Four? With? Before me? I don't know. Like three or six or 36. Somewhere around there. It's not 36. Have a good night. How about like doing nicknames? Oh. Since you're kind of like a one or like at the very beginning, you rush into it. Are you already like calling him husband? No. I wouldn't even call my husband husband. Well, then like, when do you kind of have nicknames? Because I remember you saying in the past you had nicknames for your guy. I do. I know. There's someone right now who has a nickname. It's not even like that serious, but it's a cute name. That's the one thing for some reason that I keep super private. Yeah. I think it's important to keep pet names private. Yeah. I agree with you there. There is a guy and he does have a nickname. How about like PDA? PDA's fine. You know, I think when you're younger, you like use it to try to feel cool. Oh, look at me. I'm going to blow this guy in the middle of the mall. Whatever. But as you get older, you kind of, for me at least, after I was done blowing a guy in the middle of the mall, I felt like I wanted to be more respectful of the people around me. Because, you know, if you're in a relationship and you're not with your significant other at that moment, anybody else who's making out, you're like, oh, no. Yeah. You miss it, right? You do. At what point do you discuss like getting crazy in a relationship as far as like sexual, like maybe, getting like a threesome going if possible, involving another party, like wanting to be choked? I think you have to wait until you kind of know the person a little bit more. So that won't happen right away. That'll grow. No. Yeah. You keep your closet closed with all the whips and chains in it first. And then you open up after you got them by the balls? Yeah. You start with like maybe a little whip or something. A little whip? And then? And then, is it really hot in here? Sorry. Sorry, I'm getting distracted. Take my shirt off. Somebody call in, please. It's really hot. Okay. Anyway. Are you going to stop there? Yeah. You could take off so much more. I know. Maybe I will. I feel like the heat is on in here. I think Jeremy did it on purpose. I think so. Would you, would you feel more comfortable if I took off my sweater? Could you? I'm actually cold. You are not. You are not. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Lies. Oh my gosh. Sorry. All right. So kind of actually going through the whole quiz thing here. It seems like. Oh, okay. So now we're going to get in depth with it. Yeah. I'm going to kind of analyze this. So you kind of wait to see who kisses first. What if he doesn't kiss you? Right? Sorry. I'm going back to the first question. Okay. What if he doesn't kiss you, but he expects you to suck his dick or fuck you? Are you kind of turned off by that? Like a guy who's like, I don't want to kiss you, but I would rather fuck you. Yeah. Why? I don't know. I'm just curious. That's like a hooker thing. A hooker thing. Isn't it? Don't you think? Like, oh, blow me, but don't kiss me. Yeah. I don't know. Kissing is very, very intimate. I think it's more intimate than fucking. Yeah. But the fucking, I mean, you'd fuck a guy within five minutes kind of. No, within five minutes. Well, if he was, if he had like a Vietnamese accent, he was really, really hot. And he dipped you? Yeah. And he picked you up from your hotel and cooked for you? I might consider it then. I might consider it then. It's not like a totally out there suggestion, but it's not like an every Tuesday thing. Every Tuesday? Ruby Tuesday? Yeah. But you're going to have to kiss me before you. Before he can be sexually satisfied? Mm-hmm. I gotcha. But so you would, at that point, you would never really ever like, you're totally against the whole like farting and pooping and the whole thing, right? Yes. I'm completely against it. See my face? See how serious I am right now? Serious. Serious. Serious. Serious. Serious. It's so nasty. I don't even like when a guy like leaves the door open when he goes because it just feels disrespectful. Like you kind of want to keep some mystery, kind of dress yourself up, you know, pretend because I've had guys tell me like, oh, well, you know, if you don't do this, then you don't trust me and we're not comfortable and this isn't a good relationship. It's like, well, actually, maybe I'm just a lady. Actually, that brings up a good point with everything you kind of said. It kind of says you have like a lot of trust in someone. I mean, do you feel like you're like that in relationships? Like right from the bat, you trust someone right away or you kind of guard it and not? I used to be a lot more trusting, you know, I feel like I really got burned in my last relationship, but I'm... He was a douchebag for the record. He kind of was. I mean, I knew all along that he was, but now looking back, having had time to reflect and, you know, being treated. And I feel like I'm a lot better by someone else. Then it's like, what was I fighting so hard for? Because you cared. I mean, that's nothing wrong with that. I thought I would care forever and I really don't. Well, it seems like you're over it. So just because you got burned, though, does that, you think that would affect you kind of moving forward in other relationships? I'm definitely more aware. You know, I feel like I'm still that open. I'm still an open, trusting person, but I'm, the gears are turning in the back of my head. You know, I think you do things a little differently, though. You, you really build up trust for like a long, long, long, long, long time. Yeah. If you're going to have relationships. I wouldn't even really want to get serious with someone and I really like them. If it's somebody I don't care about, like I could go hook up like this past weekend. But if it's somebody that I'm really interested in, I really like and I have feelings for, honestly, I'd probably wait like six to eight months to even kiss them. But what if... It starts out as a coke blowjob and then you decide in the morning that maybe you do have feelings for them. No, that's not somebody I'd marry. Because they're a whore. What's that? Because they're a whore. Like right off. I mean, what if, what if you were with someone and you found out down the road that they had done that to someone else? Maybe that's the type of person they were. Yeah. Well, I don't think I would. I still don't think I could do it though. It depends if the feelings are developed, if everything's kind of developed, I think I accept them for who they are. If I have enough potential in that person to want to be with them, I have a tendency to focus more on the positives as opposed to the negatives. Okay, so... If there's more positives that weigh out, then I would do that as opposed to the negatives. So if she was a reformed coke whore, you could accept it? Yeah. I think I'll help her through her own rehab. Rehab? Rehab. Rehab. Okay. All right. Keep going. No, actually. So what if you're like, well, everything's kind of already answered. You're talking about like the... Oh, actually, you know, the one question I didn't ask you was about anal. I know you're still kind of an anal virgin unless that changed. Kind of. Yeah. I don't know. We haven't brought up the whole anal talk in a while. Actually, I was approached by someone who manages this station. Really? Who said, if I am to lose my anal virginity, I should do it on air. We should have people call in to see if we can have them call in and try to offer it. Have them call in and what? We'll filter them. Do like an audition to see who can... An audition? Yeah. That's going to have to be someone with a tiny, skinny little... Finger? Yeah, finger. Finger. So that one... Didn't even come up at all, huh? What if the guy was really into you and you were into him? Would you do it for him? Yeah. But what? Like after he puts a ring on it and you guys are like married? No, I wouldn't even take that. I would just have to know that a guy is really that into it. I have no problem pleasing the person I'm in a relationship with. Like I'll go out of my way to do anything I can to make that person happy and fulfill their fantasies and their desires. Really? Yeah. That's a good thing. But I mean, that would have to be like his thing. But he can't have like done it with other people. Does that make me picky? Oh, yeah. If you told me that, I've never done that with anybody. Okay, let's do it. I don't know. You'd have to really want it. You'd have to prove you wanted it. And probably take me out of the country too. So at that point, it's like, you know what? We're like in a different country. Yeah. Different time zone. I'll do anal in the Philippines. There's a lot of anal going on in the Philippines. I'm just saying. I think I'm going the next year you want to go. Yes. We'll go around the Philippines. You know what? The crazy thing about the Philippines is like over a thousand islands. I know. Let's hit them all. Oh, dude. You know what? Changes by like seven in low tide and high tide. Just saying. Good observation. So what if like this guy was really into you and he wanted to do like a crazy position? Yeah. Like how would you... Or like you, do you have any crazy positions that you would like to try or like... Okay. There's got to be something. Yes. There's got to be something. There is one position that I found out about recently that I really want to try. It's kind of weird. Okay. Basically, I want to have sex in a canoe. Excuse me? I don't know why, but I think canoe. I think... Not a kayak. No, I think Disneyland and the canoe. Disneyland. This has nothing to do... This is nothing to do with... I'm not going to Disneyland. I know. Don't kill my fantasy. This is an ocean. A canoe in the ocean. Yeah. No. I read about this and it seems like it would just be really good. Like you're naked. The sun is just kind of glistening on your skin and you're in this boat and it's rocking back and forth and you have to be careful not to rock it too far and spill out of it, but you get some good motion going on there. Wouldn't that be hot? Actually, I could see how that could work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and you just happen to turn over right before. Is that like a total buzzkill? No, that'd be a great story. I would definitely then go back to the hotel or wherever we were staying, clean up and do it again and again and again. So would you try the canoe in the hotel room without the water? Yeah, why not? Just put them across like two beds. I had somebody who wanted to bang me sticking out of a kitchen cupboard once. What? So you were in the cupboard? And they like would open it up and be like, Yeah, they wanted to take me from behind while I was bent over in the cupboard. So you did that or did you let that happen? I did it. I mean, it happened. It happened. Was it good for you as a wife? No, I was in a cupboard. You're like, oh, that's where the sugar is. No, it was right before. I moved in. But actually with the whole canoe thing, the guy would definitely have to be on top. That's one thing I don't like is being on top. At all? I really don't like it. No, but we have a caller. So let's see what our caller likes. Hi, caller. What's your name? This is Moe from South Central. How's it going, Moe from South Central? I'm just sitting there watching the paper game. Yeah? Good stuff. Who's winning? I'm right now by 20. But you know what? I'm not. I'm going to have basketball talk right now. Melissa, would you let your co-host make you lose your anal virginity? Would I let my co-host? Would you let him virginize you? On air? Yeah, sure. I don't know because I've never seen my co-host junk, actually. Jeremy, can you get some alcohol? This might happen in the next five minutes. Wait, is he red right now? He's a little red. Wait, Alex, can I coach you through this? Yeah, let's do it. What would you actually have us do if you were to... Well, actually, I would have you chew on some crushed ice. Chew on some crushed ice? Yeah, and then go down and blow it on her, you know. Blow it on her ass? Yeah, and before she knows it, you should go balls deep. Like a little surprise? I don't think you'd just penetrate it just like that. No, dude, that's what I think. You'd be the only one to ever do it again. She wouldn't want to do it after that. Talk about a horrible experience. She'll remember you forever, dude. Have you actually done this before? No, no. Oh, this is just a theory that you have? Yes. I want to... I don't know, I want to live it to them, I guess. But have you heard of the Mexican Sanchez? The Dirty Sanchez? The Dirty Sanchez? Explain. I'll bet Alex has. Huh? Explain. I mean, you fuck her, you know, obviously involving a dirty girl. You know, you penetrate, and then you make her suck your dick. And then her ex's poop stays on your... On her upper lip, like a mustache, and that's called the Dirty Sanchez. So that was a dirty dick. Sorry. Sorry about that. No, no need to be sorry. Have you ever done that? No, I said sorry because I got a mental picture of the nasty bitch. Wait, so have you ever done that? So what does it smell like? So what does it smell like? Yeah. Oh, fuck, man. It smells like fuck? This is right up Alex's alley. He's all about the poop in bed. Yeah, yeah. I got his nasty, Jen. You mean me? I'm a little nasty. Alex, are you bald? Am I bald? No, I'm not. Oh, God. He's full of hair. I'm going to go shave my head tonight. I shaved my mustache, though. No more caterpillar. Thankfully. No more Manny Pacquiao this week? No. Manny Pacquiao Saturday night. Woohoo, Manny Pacquiao. I'm excited. Okay, caller, you're amazing, and you actually gave us a great idea with the ice. So we are going to go ahead and give you a little prize. So if you want to hang on the line. Oh, you're scared? Yeah. If you want to hang on the line, I'm going to give you a little prize. Oh, you're scared? Yeah. I'm going to give you a little prize. I'm going to give you a little prize. Okay, so our booth operator will get your information. We'll send something out to you, okay? Appreciate it. Thank you so much for calling in. Thanks, guys. Bye-bye. Thanks for calling in. Have a good night. Bye-bye. I like that idea with the ice. I don't know how that could work, actually. I think it would be good. If you take some crushed ice and then you go down. That's like a numbing effect. It's like, I'm going to numb your asshole and then I'm going to fuck you in it. Oh, okay, not in the ass, though. But if a guy did that on my post, I would be like, oh, my God. I'm going to fuck you in it. Oh, I'd probably take off the tassel if I was seeing it. Because you know what? Sometimes it gets really, really intense and it gets all tingly. Have you ever had that? Yeah, but... It's where your face gets tingly and your arms get tingly... Yeah. ...and you're just laying there, like, stupid? Yeah. It's a good feeling. I hate that feeling. I love it. I hate that, because it's usually when the guy is looking at me and my lips are numb. From sucking dick? No, just from... I don't know, maybe there's like a tingly button on me or something. And then Sophie hits the spot or if you feel something, you get, like, all tingly? It's tingly. Sometimes. Maybe it's just from going for a while. Really? I want to try that. I'm writing that down. I'm taking notes. But you know what? If you use ice. I think if you put the ice in the pussy, I think it would melt. Yeah, it would melt right away, but it would still be cold. Yeah, but I think if like a guy has it in his mouth, would you have like a cold tongue? Have you ever had like an ice cold tongue on your pussy? No. All right. I have a cup of ice. We'll stop by and get some ice on the way home. You are? You're wearing a skirt for easy access. I've been so focused on the cock for the past couple of years. I've totally neglected my pussy. Well, are you okay with guys kind of like eating you out? It's like say if a guy, that was his thing. It's like, you know, Melissa, you look really hot tonight and I want to eat you out really bad for hours. For hours? I don't know. Maybe 20 minutes. I mean, are you okay with that? Hours? Hours sounds painful. Hours sounds painful. Yeah. If he's going to do it right. You could probably finish. Okay. If a guy goes in, he's like, look, I know what I'm doing and I'm going to get this done. You don't know what you're doing. So don't even, just don't even start. But if you're like open to trying things and you want to just get into it, I guess I'll go along with it. Whatever. But so you'll give a guy a chance. I'll give him a chance. If that's what he wants to do. I'm not ever going to push for that because I don't really like that. But what if I told you, you know what? Like it really turns me on. I get turned on. When I do that to you and me eating you out will make me want you more. Would you be okay with that? Are we on air or is this like in the car? I think the only time we're on air is if we're doing the anal, everything else. I think we could leave it up to. You're not touching my ass on air, Alex. We could try it out tonight and see if you want to do it on air. How about that? Should we record it just in case? Yeah. You found your flip cam. I found my flip cam. We'll go gonto. Get crazy. You're so dirty. You're so happy you found out what that means. Yeah. I'm excited. You've used it like three times today. Well, no, because you have a camera. I don't really use my camera as much. Oh, you have one too? We could get multi-angle. There you go. You get a picture of like the balls just slapping against your. Yeah, we're going to set up three cameras to get a picture of your balls. Yeah. Well, it'll be on your forehead. That way everyone can see. Oh, my God. No. I want to know if anybody out there actually wants to see your balls. So people call in if you want to see Alex's balls. 800-893-9562. Or you can text us or email us oralstem at gmail.com. Or, of course, you can tweet to us. And Austin is paying attention to those tweets. So he'll let us know if anything comes in. Or find our Facebook, please. Because we have so many listeners. And we have no idea what your faces look like on our books. So if you could do that, that would be awesome. It's facebook.com slash oralstimulationradio. I mean, at this point, Melissa, honestly, people have so many ways. They might be shy to call. They could send an email like they've done in the past. Yeah, sure. They could tweet us. They could Facebook. They could message either one of us. You guys really have no excuse. And ask us, you know, maybe off air. Maybe if somebody wants to stay private, ask us questions. Or maybe even... I don't know. This guy called in and I think he was intrigued by our voices. And he just wanted us to do anal on air. Oh! Do you think anal in a canoe is like a more advanced technique? Do you think that's even possible? I'm really stuck on this canoe thing now. I think actually anything is possible. I'm going to have to... Because the guy that I've been seeing... Okay. I told him I wanted to have sex in a canoe. And maybe it was too early. Because he flat out said no. But I do know he wants to go fishing. So I might be able to work something here. Sneak attack. Uh-huh. Hey, look at this fishing pole. Oh, I dropped it out the edge. So how are things going with the new guy? Slow. Good. Take your time. Like Alex style? See, you learned a couple things from me. That's good. I'm not happy about it, but I'll go along with it. He seems like a good guy. Yeah, give him a chance. She'll make you happy. Okay. Who knows? That canoe might become a reality. The canoe fantasy. Where can I rent a canoe? It depends where you guys go. That's true. In the meantime, though, I do have this other position that I like. And this is the only time we'll be on top. Okay? The only time? This is the only time we'll do it. I have this chaise lounge chair. And I like to get a guy to lay down. And then I'll be on top of him. Because I can have my legs on the floor. And I can jump up and down. Austin Vegas girl style. I'm going to be on top of him. I'm going to be on top of him. I'm going to be on top of him. I'm going to be on top of him. I'm going to be on top of him. Wait, so would you be facing him? Or like reverse cowgirl? Yeah, I'll be facing him. Just a fair warning for anyone who comes over and sits in my furniture. Funny thing is I've been to your place. And good thing I never slept on that. On that auto man or whatever you call it. On that chair. The fuck chair. I'm safe on the couch. As far as I know. Yeah, you're fine. The couch is fine. Yeah, I was hoping to get you on the couch. I can get you to do splits right across. Nah, see? You got to get that chair. I actually bought that chair from a couple of lesbians. Really? Yeah. Do you think they were fucking on the couch? Clearly. That's awesome. I know. They know what they're doing. I have so many positions that I want to talk about. Okay, out of maybe three or five, what's one that you would talk about? I want a guy to put me over the edge of my bed and fuck me from behind. Really? Yeah, really. I have an awesome bed. But actually, that's all. That's all the stuff we are going to cover in our next show. So in the meantime, you guys can call in. You guys can email us, tweet us, Facebook us. Tell us your favorite positions because it is going to be on for the next show. We're going to get into it. I already have an idea of what mine is. Oh, really? Yeah, my penis in your asshole. I'm excited to hear. Can't wait for next week. Way to throw it in there. Thank you so much. We're glad you guys joined us this week. I'm already excited for next week. It's going to be good. We can practice tonight. Yeah. We're going to next week. All right. Bye-bye, guys. Have a good night. Thanks for listening. Straight up now, tell me, do you really want to love me forever? Oh, is it just a hit and run? We got a good day. I don't know if I'm going to see you again. I don't know if I'm going to see you again.