Football talk, Heisman, coaching changes, and NFL

I was raising the one called what the death Where the brothers in the hood So I rest the fence On my liquor And the beat goes on Yeah, cry just a little When he plays piano in the dark Hi, how's LA? Back! CJ Robinson back with us Howdy, partners Who the fuck are you? I've been waiting to use this CJ Robinson What? That was me Back in my college days, bro That was you last week, you came clean You said you couldn't make it to the show Truth be told, you were hungover, weren't you? Yeah, I was in a limo Doing the rock and roll scene Rock and roll, daddy-o Hanging out with Bon Tempo Band And those guys It's a General Lee limo, you were saying I've never seen one of those They didn't have the confederate flag on the roof Or I wouldn't have gotten in it It's painted orange and it's got the 01 on the side It was decorated with Texas Horns on the front With Christmas lights Stretch limo You're a man of principle Wouldn't get in there with the General Lee With the bars and stars Raising on top Big week in football, glad to be back Exciting week Heisman Trophy Johnny Football Debuting It was a lot of fun to watch Not Did you say No, dude, go for it You know You know Get all crazy with that You never use it Here's Johnny There we go I don't even want to talk about Manziel right now I'm going to start off First of all, I'm unemployed I had coach in my high school Fired Blindsided Head coach Gone Principal Principal just brought him in Said going in a new direction Yep He said USC So I am now a free agent So all those listening out there I am now declaring my free agency I applied I don't know if I told you this I applied to be the head coach at Compton High Yeah Nice Yeah See what happens with that I haven't heard back yet I just threw that in When did you do that? Friday Okay So I threw that in there on Friday See what happens if they bite It is kind of far away, but Yeah But that would be a great premise for a TV show, Dave Well, you know One step at a time Ugh I'm telling you, my tongue I just had a brownie brickle Or something Brownie I just had a dip of Kodiak Part of the craft services here Is provided by the wonderful Skid Row Studios So we got a lot of stuff here So we got a lot of stuff here So we got a lot of stuff here We got brownie bites We had coffee made to us by Anthony Yeah Yeah Thank you, Anthony That was awesome I'm really jacked up right now Ready to go Who wants to hear my life story? Ready, set, go Coffee, tobacco, and brownies I think I'm wearing socks on my teeth right now On top of about six Bud Lights At the down and out You gotta plug the down and out Yeah I feel like I have a carpet on my tongue I feel bad for the next person Who's gonna use this microphone I can see this little thing Just singeing Like I'm holding the light And I'm like I'm gonna do it Just don't lick the foam, dude Come on Too late Too late It's an omni-directional No, it's unidirectional microphone I don't know what that means It just means that it will pick up your sound coming I don't know Are these omnis or unis? Does it pick up? Okay, omni Does it pick up my nose breathing? Yeah Yours is uni I'm an omni So that means I can stand over here And it will still pick me up I'm uni I can go over here It can still pick me up Yeah If I wanted to stand up It would still pick me up You're an omni, alright It's like a heart-shaped pattern I'm a unic Not a uni Unic Stayed in the high school game Landmark decision Oklahoma In the high school football game in Oklahoma Yeah, what's going on there, dude? A state playoff game Kid They hit a kid on a swing pass On a fourth down Kid takes it for 75 yards While the play is going on The referee runs down the sideline And runs in with one of the assistant coaches Which is common That actually happens all the time Probably happened to you, huh? It did Yeah Yeah, it happened to me While I was in Denmark Did they flag you? Yes, but they It happened After he scored the touchdown So the football The touchdown still counted And then we got penalized on the Kickoff Kickoff Well, that was the rule That was supposed to be Put in place And the referees They huddled And they called the touchdown back And that team ended up losing Okay So, in this day and age We live in This litigious society we live in That high school Tried to bring it to court And they didn't They didn't bring it to court Trying to say that We need to play that game over The whole game needs to be played over again Fortunately, the judge Didn't want to set a precedence To decide games in the courtroom And he threw it out at the last minute Yeah But that's what they were trying to say Yeah Well, I think if The coach was hit Before the guy went into the end zone I think that's where it could be debated If the kid was already in the end zone Or was like Just stepping in And the coach was hit But if the coach is on the field And let's say the kid was still on Like the 15 or 10 yard line You know, that penalty happened Before he scored the touchdown So that could be the philosophy Of why the officials decided to call it back Well, it's in the argument The philosophy But that's not the letter of the rule The letter of the law says I don't know It should be on the On the kickoff They screwed it up Okay But you can't sue I mean, that's it It's part of the game That's it It's in the books It's in the books Yep In the books High school season In the books Finally, high school is over everywhere Pomona High School Pomona High School We talked about that a little bit last week Without a head coach Without a head coach Winning CIF Hats off to those dirty red devils Yep I've always been a dirty red devil The ladies have called me A dirty red devil For a long time Not a ginger red devil No I haven't even heard that term Ginger Until like the last four years Now all of a sudden I'm a fucking ginger You can thank South Park It's South Park's fault for that I used to be a pasty fucking redhead Now I'm a freaking ginger I'm more of a day walker I don't even know what that means It's kind of like a cross Between a ginger and a non-ginger I guess I guess It's some kind of genetic Right It's some kind of genetic Flushy Some kind of genetic freak I don't know I don't know what's coming Some genetic freak I am a freak Speaking of freaks Hey freaks I dressed up for the show tonight You did Look everybody I wore a tuxedo for tonight's show Class of 1987 What are you, ducky? Ducky from Pretty in Pink Wearing your freaking tuxedo shirt Yeah I like ducky Yeah What a cool bike You are a fucking ducky John Cryer Heisman weekend Yeah Marcus Mariota win I think I called that in September I wish I could just go back And look at all the things I called And prognosticator or prognosticators He won it But he won it by the second I thought he was going to win it Hands down In a runaway unanimous Never Nothing's ever unanimous But he was the second highest vote getup Of all time Percentage wise The number one guy was Troy Smith from Ohio State That one freaking took me back Yeah I couldn't believe that Troy Troy Smith was in like 91% of the country And he just fizzled But people, it doesn't matter You know, people vote And you get like What the fuck are you thinking? James Winston Got four votes for the first place In the Heisman Yeah Still Tevin Coleman Got two You don't even know who Tevin Coleman is, right? I barely know who he is I think he was my The kid who delivered my newspapers Tevin Coleman Yeah Indiana Seven and a half yards of carry Out though The Heisman He dragged that shit on forever Yeah There wasn't much going on Other than that in college football I got four students watching The Army-Navy game Mm-hmm 13 in a row 13 in a row That's the longest Rival streak in Division I football history Or something like that Something like that Yeah The head coach Ken Nimitala Lo, lo, lo, lo Lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo Luau Yeah, one of those One of those guys That always whizzes Look, this is This is gonna come out Borderline racist alert But I'm I'm just tired Of all these people From the islands Wearing these freaking Lays and shit On everything they do It's like, come on I'm freaking American now, alright I'm not rocking Freaking Shillelagh In a fucking Shamrock On my freaking Hat You know what I mean? Okay, I get it You're from a different But we're a football game here Yeah Yeah But that guy pissed me off He called a timeout Okay, and a big play in the game Army was gonna get a first down They were just about to get He calls a timeout Right before they got the first down And then the next play They didn't get the first down, right? Mm-hmm Danielson and Vern Lundquist Freaking jerked off over that The whole game So they're interviewing the coach Ken Kilalala Malabana Olaowowo Okay, at the end of the game Right? And of course The woman The female reporter Is gonna pick up on that Tell me about that timeout You coach You called coach And he goes You know, it came from Well, you wouldn't believe me If I told you He's like, what, what, what? He goes, it came from upstairs The man upstairs Told me to call the timeout Oh, jeez I missed that I'm glad I missed that I would've puked Are you Are you Are you telling me Jesus Christ Does not want the United States Army To win a football game, son? Give me a freaking Is that what she said? No, I'm not Are you telling me Jesus Christ Doesn't know how to hit a curveball? You know I couldn't believe that guy said it I was like, come on Fuck And that was the only game We had to watch Of course, they stuck Gary Danielson down the throat I don't know who I don't know who decides Vern Lundquist Vern Lundquist needs to be Put out the pasture And Gary Danielson What was that? Vern Lundquist That's your Vern Lundquist impersonation? Yeah, the pasture, yeah The pasture Chewing my cud Michigan All types of new hires Michigan Just hired I love this They hired an agency Corn Ferry The Corn Ferry agency Is going to find Michigan The next head coach Okay They found their last head coach That worked out really well for them That same agency And the same agency Found their last athletic director Who was also fired Who was also fired Who was also fired Who was also fired Who was also fired Or resigned Yeah They're going to pay them $250,000 To find them A new head coach That's ridiculous What's that? Like a head hunting firm or something? It's like a head hunting firm For coaches Alright Give me a fucking break Is that really a necessary thing? They don't have the They don't have the resources Inside their own little organizations To be able to find these guys Yeah I don't know who's going to Take that Michigan job Well, I would put money on it That the founder President Owner People that work for this Corn Ferry Company They're all probably Michigan graduates And alumni That support the team Yeah, I don't know They have some I don't know I'm just saying I think these are Their businesses I'm so Why not instead of Corn Ferry You know Apple Happy Yeah I just I need to get In a different business Yeah You know They're putting $250,000 That's more than I make In five years To be like Hey, this guy might be A good head coach Yeah Where the fuck am I new? I'm snoozing I'm sitting here Freaking Talking to you Freaking Snoozing with all this shit Drinking high voltage coffee Drinking high voltage coffee And dipping tobacco Ohio Oregon Oregon State Goes out This is another Freaking head scratcher The head coach of Wisconsin Goes over to Oregon State I would think Wisconsin Is a better job Than Oregon State And then Wisconsin Goes out and High as Paul Chris back I don't know why Why you would go from Wisconsin to Oregon State But they do I don't know why I don't know anything Anymore And the head coach From Duke Turned down Michigan David Cutliffe Supposedly was Gonna be hired And he turned him down Wow And other college news UNLV And this is something I always support UNLV Yeah My Rebels I played there for two years Yeah I was gonna say Your alma mater But no There's gotta be a name For that Somebody who attended Well it's like this When Obama He went to Occidental For two years Before he transferred To Columbia Right And as soon as he ran For president You go to the Occidental website And they would have Obama 82 With the little hyphen Right there To make it look like He graduated in 82 But in actuality That's when he left The year So I went to Harvard Extension For a summer session In 92 The summer of 92 So now on my resume I put Harvard 92 With a little hyphen And if they You know If they wanna know more About it They can ask Very clever Very clever Mr. Robinson But there's about Six other colleges That I went to For one or two classes That are on the same resume So you can throw it on there So if I go to you If I go to Harvard's website It'll say Christopher Robinson Rootstar I.K. Rootstar 92 If I ran for president In the United States Well we're working on that We're working on that Yeah Well UNLV goes out And hires Bishop Gorman High school's Head coach Tony Sanchez To be their next head coach Number one team In the United States Yeah I love that I love when they go Out to the lower levels And grab these guys Yeah well you know He knows how to coach In that environment Because it's hot as hell Right You know people are like CJ how come you left UNLV I'm like Have you ever been to Vegas In August Because it's hot as hell When we're doing camp Oh but we do it At six in the morning It's a hundred degrees At six in the morning No we do it At four in the afternoon That's a hundred and five At four in the afternoon You know Oh we wouldn't We wouldn't go During the hot part of the days When it was a hundred and eight Hundred and nine Why wouldn't they Just put a big bubble up You know they should They should You know Maybe this guy Will get that done Who knows That's a good high for them though That's better than Some kind of retread Or some kind of assistant For friggin Florida State Or something like that Somebody who you know A little bit of initiative Well that's the thing I don't know how those guys Down in Florida South Carolina Texas You know even Boston Had a little bit of it But not like those guys In the southeast With that humidity With the heat You know it slaps you In the face You spend time in Georgia You know Oh I You know the humidity Is ridiculous I mean I'll complain About the two weeks Of humidity That I had in Boston When I was in camp there At Boston University Yeah But it's nothing Compared to the humidity In July In like South Carolina Or Texas It's ridiculous It's like a wet hot towel Being thrown in your face People are from there Oh you're used to it Blah blah blah I would never get used To that shit I see the sun on TV I start to sweat Yeah it just It just makes you sweat more Yeah The humidity Yeah But yeah You get used to it It's like when they say Oh it's 110 degrees But it's a dry heat Yeah Fucking ovens are dry heats too They should cover that Sam Boyd silver bowl And build an indoor Practice facility With like at least Two or three fields Yeah You know They gotta do it For the soccer kids too With sliding the girls And other nine But why do they get A football stadium And they should have They should have slot machines All around the side too Of course They should play in more To their gambling Background Instead of the rebels They should be like the You know Gamblers Yeah Houston gamblers The LV gamblers The Texas Hold'ems Or the The UNLV Texas Hold'ems Or the I like that The roulettes All the women's team Could be the roulettes The showgirls That's sexist Yeah Sexist man Come on Come on dude Dude Dude All none of our women Are gonna be offended That listen I don't think I think you're being Very generous As far as how many people Actually Girls are listening But There's more than none Ladies There's less than none Ladies We got one listening right now She's forced to She has to She's forced to She's forced to I'm looking up All of Mariota's numbers though To get back on the Heisman Back on business Heisman Back on the Heisman He was number two In everything Robert Griffin the third Freaking shattered everything Every record He was the number one Ranked efficiency In everything Actually the number one Efficiency all time In college QBR rating Which I think is a Relatively new stat Is Russell Wilson Shocked to know that Yeah I don't know why Everybody Third round pick He's too small He's too small I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why Might as well Address the elephant Wilson Might as well Is that fish? Might as well Address the elephant In the room Here's Johnny Hey Johnny Manziel Hey look I've been a defender I'm still a defender I sat and watched Both games today They freaking shackled The poor bastard And everything He had someone In his face on every play He was two of five In the first half What kind of team Throws the ball five times I think you would agree Their coaches Didn't put him In a good position They didn't put him In a good position They should have just kept Hoya Run the year out Let Hoya freaking do it Limit the controversy As best you can I was looking In the LA Times Today Front cover of the sports section Big picture Johnny Manziel Yeah Give me a break You're setting this guy up For failure Dude I don't know That guy's gotta make money To get any action Because he's not A good looking kid He looks like someone You would see like Hanging out With goth clothes on One of those black coats Down to the ground With skinny jeans I could see me In skinny jeans Yeah you know Just You know He just doesn't look Like a football guy I think that's part of the charm You know And I still think It's also the name The Johnny football name I think if his name was Fred Fred Manziel I don't think I don't think anybody Would say you know Bad an eye It's just the whole Ethos The Johnny football Johnny Manziel It's like even you know His name was Pete Who was the first Journalist to pin that I don't know Do you know Oh Usually when you ask a question You know the answer No deal in hypotheca You're all knowing Of football statistics And facts I don't I don't I don't deal in hypotheticals I do know now though After watching the Army Navy snooze fest The I I I believe I believe I believe That we will win That fucking chant That's annoying as all hell Started at the Army Navy game Yeah How about that one I can't stand that chant I didn't watch a single Lick of that game No It was the only game on TV And I'm a junkie I need it man I need it I'm glad This freaking College season is over For a few weeks Give me a break And I can focus on the NFL And focus on the Pats The Pats Go Pats Go Pats We're going down To fucking Great Woods Or what Foxborough now Great No Great Woods Is a completely different venue I know I know It was the Twitter center for a minute And then Twitter went out of bank And I don't even know What it is now I should know It'll come to me When I'm leaving Shit hole park But What What What What What What What What! That's like Craft field Or something like that Pats came up to San Diego Last week That was probably the reason I left so early In a 35 minute show I apologize to my one fan Who texted me from Upstate New York Who was like Man this show was only 35 minutes I had to bring I noticed that too I had to get out of here I had to go watch that game What's that fan's name? Let's give a shout out Matt Student You know him Oh Matt F Matt F Student He has to put F In front of his name Student on Facebook Because Facebook Wouldn't let him Put his real name Student Because they think that Because he's a student Is that fact? Yeah That's why on his Facebook It's Matt F Student Matt Student Trivia Alright Alright Matt Student If you're listening Big up bruh That'll bring Get you The Stude Cup of coffee You're listening to The Stude Radio What the fuck They got a mute button on this? Blame it on the caffeine Yeah Blame it on something Blame it on Rio Pats San Diego Just a quick recap Two things One Us freaking New Englanders Are like a bad virus Did you watch that game? Nope You didn't watch that game? It looked like a It sounded like a Pats home game There's more freaking Patriots fans Than the San Diego fans Which is actually Kind of embarrassing Yeah No I knew Every asshole that I knew That I worked with Was there In full force I wasn't there I know Where were you? I was here It's like a freaking That's right Nah I just don't like Going to games man Was it Ingles Gonna get you a ticket To that game? Yeah he went And then he was like And he freaking bailed on Freaking give me a ticket And he's like Hey man I'm in San Diego He thinks I'm the heads up Yeah real cool guy Fucking clown shoes Hope he's listening Cowboys Playing right now That's why he's there I hope he comes up With a spray tan jersey I'm gonna hammer him On that one He needs a spray tan I told you that story DeMarco Murray We talked about it last week Yeah Spray tan No need to rehash Have you ever spray tanned? No god no Why? You look like a carrot You know Not before like Homecoming Or anything like that No God no It'd bring out the yellow In my teeth I look awful How stupid would I look If I got spray tanned? You'd bronze up bro It's even dumber Than I freaking look I actually I went to On spring break once And I went tanning What a fucking idiot I'm thinking back on that I'm like I don't tan Just why am I even fighting it? It's very therapeutic You know Especially if you live In a cold climate And it's not much sun That's true That's true You do feel better But you know I just realized Hey you know In some cultures Pale skin is a sign of royalty Yeah So You die young Unfortunately We don't live in that culture It's the same society That believe that You know You bang your cousin To keep the bloodline pure Yeah I can't I didn't even think of it that way Blue blood That's where the term Blue blood comes from You know what I'm saying? It's people that They were so pale You could see Their vascularity Their veins So they look blue That's from doing Too much nitrous oxide So they were I don't Believe Medieval times They really had nitrous tanks But they might have I don't know It was actually developed By Oxford's Medical students In the mid 1850s Really? Yeah And they didn't know What to do with it For 50 years So they just Partied with it In the 1850s? Yeah Up until like Around the turn of the century That a dentist was like You know what? I can use this To knock my Patients out And then they Wouldn't give them Enough oxygen So people would die From you know Going to the dentist And that's why People got scared Of going to the dentist At first You are full of it CJ I'm full of history Tonight I am the walking Wikipedia Walking Wikipedia Alright Kid I'm Fucking Speaking of the internet Segway Finally got internet This weekend So I freaking Stayed in all night On Friday night And watched all types Of 30 for 30s And I watched the Boz Yeah That was your era That was your high school I had the Boz Mini mullet When I was a freshman In college Did you? Did you paint the sides And everything? Nah Just a little bit On the front And a lot on the back But not like Billy Ray Cyrus long Just a little bit enough To you know Right Now obviously That's what everyone Calls a mullet You wouldn't be caught Dead with one of those now But back then That was cool It was I tell you The 80s was the Cartoon decade man These things are so Freaking cartoonish And outlandish And that shit like Was serious you know Like Mr. T What the fuck When Mr. T Would never get over I'm telling you the fool Would never get over In this day and age Like Boz Yeah You know an inside Linebacker Getting away I mean that guy Was the man Max Headroom Max Headroom Yeah That type Of shit doesn't Get over nowadays Michael J. Fox It was a great one All those 30 for 30s I can sit and just Watch those things For days on end I watched that BC one About the BC Point shaving scandal I know it's Basketball related But it tripped me out Because the guys From Goodfellas You know the Ray Liotta character And the Robert De Niro Character Those are the Guys who were behind it Yeah That Robert De Niro Character ended up Going to prison Because of that Yeah It was the Al Capone effect They couldn't get him On that Lufthansa Heist You've seen them Most everyone's Seen the movie They called that The biggest heist In the history of America Yeah It was like 15 million dollars Or something like that Yeah And they knew he did it But they couldn't Get him on it Yeah Because he was Killing everybody off That was involved in it Yeah That's why Henry Hill Supposedly turned Yeah And when he was Turned on And they skip it In the movie But you know There's only so much You can tell in the movie But when he turned That was like At the end When he was He just kind of Threw it in He's like Oh yeah At BU he said Yeah And the guy's like What do you mean BU They don't put Oh yeah BC And the guy Who was prosecuting it He actually plays himself In the movie The guy who was Prosecuting Oh really Yeah I didn't know that Plays himself in the movie When he's prosecuting He went to BC Ah And his ears perked up He was like Oh shit You know It struck a nerve And then he followed that And he followed that paper trail And that's when they nailed The Robert De Niro character Jimmy something I don't know Jimmy O'Connor Or something like that I forget what the name was Yeah It blows my mind What happened to the players At BC What I don't know Ostracized One of them Went to the movies Went to The one guy They could really Nail it back to Went to jail Pretending to send Serve two Yeah You know Got out and became Some kind of like Anti-gambler Speaking You know Yeah Something like that Yeah Meanwhile he was Hitting the casinos On his tour Fascinating shit Those 30 for 30s Are something I gotta watch that Ran U one too On Randy Moss But I digress NFL personal conduct policy They revamped it As I said That was such big news You know I can't even read That stuff man I don't know Who has time to read Those pages and pages Of documents But some of the lowlights Are highlights Okay they're gonna put Additional money in For counseling services For victims and families Yeah Oh very nice Very nice But it's The big one is It's a six game Automatic suspension Without pay Now they've sealed that If you get Accused This is kind of fucked up If you get accused Of any domestic Or if they charge you With any domestic violence Sexual You know Assault Or whatever it may be You know Anything you put hands On other people It's a six game Even though they don't Let it go through The judicial process first Yeah But they get a little caveat They put a little Frigging asterisk And then they said With consideration To mitigating circumstances So I mean It's one of those things Like a bitch lying Or she deserved it Yeah Yeah What is it Adrian Peterson His appeal was revoked Denied Denied Which Twisted logic You know They caught Ray Rice On video Punching his girlfriend In the face And he's back He can sign With any team He wants to right now Is there any word on that Yeah His appeal is No one's signing him right now Yeah They'll bring him in next year He's still like 28 Yeah Someone will take a shot On him next year Yeah You know He's seen the light now Yeah He's married When he has kids now Yeah You know Now he's alright Yeah well Roethlisberger You know He had some sketchy days Several Yeah And now he's married with kids And Ben's walking the line Yeah I walk the line Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah AP Talking about retirement now He's gonna try out for the Olympics And run the 200 and 400 meter Sprint 200 and 400 meter No way You know He even got that in him No way he's Olympic class And that if he is Good for him But even that Do you think He's the best to represent America Yeah good point I don't know Does the United States Come down and say No no no The Olympic community say You can't do that Yeah I don't know It got thrown out It got thrown out of Of court So! Right! The NCAA's most corrupt organization Don't get me started On those assholes I won't get you started On those assholes I won't get you started On those assholes You have that effect on there? I don't know I probably No I don't think so Just go to FailFX.com And you can get all those Wonderful effects I know There's all types of things I should do Yeah Get the toilet flushing Drugging Raping She's just a woman Darren Sharper Darren Sharper Facing Former Saint safety Have you been following that? He's been Drugging and Waping women A la Bill Waping Waping Waping Waping Women Darren Sharper Facing life in prison And yet Bill Cosby's Walking the streets Yeah I'm so freaking Done with the cause Isn't everybody Done with the cause now? Forget him There's no way He didn't do it And then he comes out This week And this should have Been a bigger deal He's like I only expected Black media To treat this responsibly Yeah Is that what he said? You motherfucker Yeah Imagine that Imagine You know And I'm not usually One of those guys Like you know If a white guy did it But if a white guy did it It was like I don't expect The white mainstream media To cover me appropriately Yeah It'd be a fucking nightmare I did not hear that Yeah I just did it The other day And another person Coming up I don't get With the whole Drugging You know I mean Obviously people like that Think differently But what is the Appeal there? You just tell me Bill Cosby Couldn't have got laid On his life Laid on his own Just being Bill Cosby Especially back then Yeah Couldn't he just be Like everyone else And just pay the woman? Yeah You know What if he said Probably You know We don't even know How many he did pay off Yeah it's true Yeah it's true Well he did pay off Some Yeah But Yeah Darren Sharpe I mean dude You playing He has an interesting Taste in women Have you seen Some of the women That have come out? Yeah very eclectic Very eclectic dude Quite a smorgasbord Quite a harem Yeah It's not funny To make fun of drugging And raping CJ No I'm not There's nothing cool About that No there's nothing You know Yeah Maybe just the drugging But in the raping part Of it's not that cool Yeah You know Drugging someone's always fun Watch them slur In their words And shit I'm just commenting On his interesting Taste in women You dosed me man You dosed me Doses? Aaron I need a miracle man Like Darren Sharpe Couldn't get laid The guy's a freaking Professional athlete And got plenty of money Like he needs to be Drugging women Same thing with the cars Yeah Darren Sharpe Going to prison for life And the cars are still Walking the streets Yeah but there's gonna be Some litigation towards him I'm sure Something I don't think he'll ever Go to prison though Yeah You know I don't think he's gonna Go to prison either As Aaron Hernandez He's throwing out All types of evidence This week now The text messages That the guy he killed Allegedly Are getting thrown out Really? Yep I didn't hear that His previous shooting That he shot someone else Getting thrown out There is no Murder weapon They say My sources My people My lawyers tell me That if there's no Murder weapon It's really hard to Freaking Prosecute someone Yeah And they still can't find it Interesting Imagine that That fool Is he in Is he out on bail Or is he No Oh no no no no I don't think they will let him I don't know exactly How that works Okay But he's not out on bail But imagine that He comes out You know they drop it Or he's found not guilty Yeah Does somebody sign him? Does the conduct policy Apply to him? Yeah You allegedly You have a court system For these things Yeah Interesting stuff CJ Interesting Interesting stuff Let's get to the games And I'm just rambling On and on and on Rambling Lord I was born A rambling man Oh we gotta talk about Johnny I've already alluded to it A few times First of all He's a rookie Starting his first game Second of all The offensive line His excuse is me Made for him But I did watch the game And he did not look Good But he still shows Flashes of things That he can do He can still get out and run He's still tough To fucking tackle But that team is a shit show That team is a nightmare And of course I've gone on record Saying I think he's gonna be good So my phone lights up Like I'm fucking Mrs. Manziel Or something Johnny Manziel Oh fucking A And so you know Hey it's a London You know I think I think The great Rude Start said The road to the top Is long and windy So who knows right? I mean he's got He's got a He's got a He's too good He's gonna have it He'll have his day I bet some guy Some kind of hypothetical bet That Johnny Manziel Is gonna make two Pro Bowls In his career You know one of these days When I'm 60 I'm gonna be freaking Paying off this Freaking betting this guy He's gonna be paying me What was the other lyrics to that? Patient man Right donkey Something about a Blind dog Or a dog That barks at a blind man What was that? That's your freaking shit man I know I can't even remember My own lyrics But I took it out I took it from someone else too I'm sure Pleasure eyes Thursday night stinker Arizona 12 St. Louis 6 Bruce Aaron's coming at me again He's like That's an 8-8 team And we're an 11-3 team You know And I commented on this last week About Jeff Fisher And I actually gave him some praise But the more I thought about it When he sent those guys out That got in the IG3 trade Who the fuck is Jeff Fisher? His team's always 8-8 Yeah I don't know why Jeff Fisher Thinks he can go out And troll Washington Because Washington's An easy target nowadays Mm-hmm IG3 Playing today Kind of got screwed on that call He dove over the line The ball went That's a weird rule If you Okay You're going to score a touchdown Right? And you fumble Mm-hmm And the ball goes out On the half-inch line The offense retains possession Same thing You fumble And the ball goes Through the end zone In the back Just right over that cone The defense gets the ball Yeah That's an odd That's an odd rule to me You know what I mean? It's like Why that one little line But they called it out And then one of the receivers I forget who it was Went nuts Ended up getting thrown Out of the game Which is good They should throw more guys Out of the game Yeah That guy was being a little You saw that You saw that Yeah And then another guy Was getting into it too I think they had two flags on that But they only ejected What's his name? I honestly Yeah Who was it? Was it Deshaun Jackson? I don't know I saw him One of them One of them clowns I don't know I would like to see I think NFL referees Take so much shit Compared to like baseball Or basketball Yeah They tee those guys up They throw them out of games Like nothing NFL referees Just get shit Yeah It's on the sideline You know I've seen you freaking Facking at referees From the sideline I've chilled it out Why? Have you spoken to? No Just because Doesn't do any damn good Doesn't do any shit And just gets my blood pressure up And you know That's funny I know right You know You know what you're going to get At that level Of division three college football So You know I had a female official In Italy Tell me to shut my fucking mouth Woo Was she English Or was she Italian? Italian So it was like an Italian accent An Italian woman Referee in football Oh My God She must have been awful What could this woman Impossibly have known? Hey she was actually Good looking too I'm sure she was Shut your fucking mouth Oh yeah Here baby Here baby Yeah Did you ask her out After the game? I tried Yeah Yeah Tried and didn't work I was like hey You know I was flirting with you You said that? In Italian? No In English In English In Grish In English In English Talk about bad games In English In English Aaron Rodgers After just weeks and weeks Of glowing They puked Glowing freaking Aaron Rodgers Being like the perfect quarterback And Mike McCarthy Like this is the best quarterback Of all time Yeah he didn't look it today Awful It's amazing how different Players can be On the road Versus at home Yeah I tell you Buffalo's not that bad I'm actually trying to get tickets To see the Patriots play Buffalo Buffalo's scary Yeah They play defense Aaron Rodgers 7 of 42 For 185 And two picks Oh Oh Good comment by the way Yeah I like that I have assigned Brett Favre football Sitting in my house right now I've got a man Oh sorry What? What? Why? Why do you have a Brett Favre football? One of my friends in Denmark Are huge Green Bay Packer fans And Brett Favre fans So they had A signed football From you know Wherever They wouldn't deliver it To Denmark So they sent it to my house And they're gonna send it out To them tomorrow They wouldn't deliver it To Denmark? What the fuck? The company wouldn't So who knows Why not? I don't know I just said yeah Send it to my house I'll mail it to you guys tomorrow Yeah? Yeah Is he gonna reimburse you? Uh no They're just gonna send me More Tuborg Golden Ladies Golden Lady I don't even know what that is You're my baby What is that? It's a beer Really? Yeah I'm making an ad campaign for them Yeah? Yeah That's part of the song Part of the jingle Golden Lady You're my baby Wanna drink it up Night and day Fucking brilliant You should move over You should move over to Denmark And write jingles I'm just gonna do them here You know? Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah man Yeah what about them Niners? What about them Niners? Niners are done Done kid Ridiculous The most talented team in football I think one of them Pound for pound Out Yeah Out And And And Well not only the most talented roster But probably the Second most obnoxious fan base Third most obnoxious fan base Raiders number one Yeah Patriot fans number two Myself included Yeah And 49er fans The third most obnoxious fan base And then out I think the Cowboys are worse than the Niners As far as fans go? Yeah Yeah Cowboys You know cause they're just all over They are all over You know Like Masshole Yeah You know But I can tolerate Masshole fans Cause I've lived in Boston You know I would never ever You know I don't care how much Well I guess I do Price has everything But you know F Texas He and Glasshouse Just do not throw stones Because number four is Pittsburgh Most obnoxious fan Yeah So Yeah Huh I tell you though They're playing well I tell you If the Pirates If the friggin Steelers get in Yeah They can beat anybody Roethlisberger's as good as anybody I know But don't hold your breath Speaking of rapists Oh I won't Mister I still think the Pats are gonna win it Especially after watching Denver And Peyton getting hurt today Trying to throw a block How'd the Chargers finish? Out today Loss Loss This is actually one of the few times I was pulling for the Chargers I can't stand Phillip Rivers man You know I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I Blesses himself before every series. Does he? I never noticed that. Yeah. He was my fantasy quarterback, and he did give me some. It's all part of CJ's football fantasy. Yeah, yeah. I just think everybody sticks up for him like he's the fucking greatest thing ever. He's not. He's not. Never going to win. I don't stick up for him. He's just pretty consistent. Yeah, he's got all types of numbers you can point to, but people are saying he's a Hall of Famer, and I think I actually might have said he was a Hall of Famer, but he's not. The more I watch him, dude, he's not elite. He's freaking good, but he ain't elite. San Diego's always falling short. I don't think they're going to make the playoffs this year. No. No. No. Best color man in the business for a reason, CJ Robinson. Yeah. Not making playoffs going through. Who cares about Jacksonville? Baltimore means nothing to me. Washington means nothing to me. Oakland going back to their freaking showing their true colors again, getting blown out versus Kansas City. I'm surprised it didn't happen the first time. Yeah. Denver beating San Diego. We talked about that. Detroit sneaking by Minnesota. Oh, that's right. The Raiders beat Kansas City earlier. Yeah, the first go-around, and then they beat the Niners. They could have beat the Patriots, too. That's what everyone forgets. It seems like a million freaking years ago, but they had the Patriots beat. They didn't even call back on the shit holding penalty. Jets-Titans. You know, the New York Jets used to be the New York Titans. Yes. You did know that. Only from you telling me on the way down here. I don't know. If you pay attention, you might learn something. Fucking Jake Locker, man. He's just one of those guys. Not staying healthy is a legitimate thing. I don't know. One of these days, they're going to be able to put their finger on it and tell you exactly what that phenomenon is. But certain guy, he broke his arm today, I think. He's just coming back. Jake Locker can never stay healthy. It's a brutal game. It is a vicious game. No doubt about that. I was just reading since 2011, seven NFL players that they know of have killed themselves. Wow. There's a big book coming out. It just came out. I'm going to pick. I'm going to pick it up. Is there a life after football? It says nine of every 10 former NFL player reports that it's difficult to get out of bed every morning. Average career in the NFL. How long do you think that lasts? Four years. Three and a half. Very astute, Mr. Robinson. Yeah. Very astute. Very Matt F. Stute. Is it? Is it? Way to bring it back. Fucking best color man in the business for a reason. I don't know. I don't know. Anything you look into, football's bad for you. Football's bad for you. Football's bad for you. If you still go back and watch it. I know. But I'm telling you, they're making it terrible. I knew as a player that it was bad for me. My parents knew. All these guys know. Everybody knows it's freaking bad for you. But the penalties. Fill out all those forms before you start every season. If you die or get hurt, it's your fault. Oh, it happens all the time. You know. Kids die all the time during playing. I know. That's why the NCAA was formed, because players were dying so often, they wanted to have a governing rule. That's some shit. It was Theodore Roosevelt. Roosevelt wanted to get rid of college football. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. Au contraire, mon frere. Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah. Was the, saved college football, because people wanted to get rid of it, because they were dying. Oh, I thought it was you. No, he formed the NCAA. He was the driving force behind that. Well, someone started the rumor that it was his fault. It was. It wasn't. In social media, they started, God damn Roosevelt. Yeah. That's what my dad says, Roosevelt. Rusey. Roosevelt. Old Rusey. Roosevelt. Roosevelt. We watched the Kimber. That's one series, I'll sit down and watch hours on end on that Roosevelt series. Anything Ken Burns puts down, I'm picking up. Yeah. Even though it's hours of your life. Yeah. But it's educational. That and Hugh. When you could be watching other crap, you watch something that's decent. That and Hugh Houser. Hugh Houser. You can watch that. The California thing. If you don't know, you don't know. Mm-hmm. No, he's broadcasted in Arizona. Is he really? Yeah. Wherever there's public access, they run him. Probably watch him in Bastion. Well, it's like this old house is a Boston show. And that's, but I don't know. I've brought up Hugh Houser to a lot of people and they don't know who the hell he is. What about Wally George? They're at loss. You ever heard of Wally George? Yeah. He's like a precursor to Morton Downey Jr. Yeah. He was a cable access show out of Anaheim. Really? Yeah. That's where you got to start. You know who his daughter is? Mrs. George. No. His daughter is Rebecca DeMornay from Risky Business. Really? Yeah. It's old Wally George's daughter. No kidding. Yep. And where's the DeMornay come from? Did she just make that name up? Maybe it's, she went from, you know, Cindy George to Rebecca DeMornay. Oh, you Hollywood types make up names. Dalton Wildwood. Root Star. Yep. Why can't I make up a name? You're the fever. That's true. Good point. What am I saying? What the hell? I've signed autographs that way. Getting back to the Titans. Rumor going around this week that Peyton Manning is going to retire after this year and buy the Tennessee Titans. Really? Really. Oh, that'd be awful. He's going to do that. He's never going away, is he? No. Peyton Manning's never going away. No, as long as there's Papa John's because he owns a bunch of those franchises too. He's worth like $120 million. But it's like, it costs like a billion with the Buffalo Bills is sold for like $1.4 billion. Yeah. But he'd probably rep a bigger company that Oh, he certainly would get. Like Magic Johnson with the Dodgers. Right. Yeah. Peyton's never going away. If he owns the Titans, it's going to be brutal. They'll be sticking his freaking big head and his hairlines just keep going back. His forehead just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger and we get stuck with that fool to the day I die. He's never going away. I think the Broncos are going away. I was bullish on the Broncos but watching the Broncos play lately, they are vulnerable. Yeah. Patriots are going to beat them. Patriots are going to go to the Super Bowl. Patriots are going to win the fucking Super Bowl, CJ. Are you still thinking Green Bay Patriots after Green Bay played today? Yes. Yeah. Of course, Seattle was another team I waffled on. Seattle could beat anybody. You know, Seattle's defense is still ridiculous. Ridiculously fast. Headed on by Bobby Wagner from Ontario, IE represent 909. Yeah. Maybe the best linebacker in football right now. Nice. No, Brian Bosworth though. Cultural. Colony High School, right? Colony High School. Cultural phenom, Brian Bosworth. Brian Bosworth. Well, you're bringing him back. I know. Keep bringing back the Bos. The mini mullet. Party in the front or no, business in the front, party in the back. He's going to be caught dead wearing that hairstyle now. I don't know. It depends on how retro you want to be. Yeah. I got to get rid of this beard too. Everybody I see has a fucking beard. Dude, she said three weeks ago you were going to take a lawnmower to it. I am. I'm going to for the holidays. you have some gray going in there, dude. Thanks for pointing that out. Thanks for pointing that out. Everyone does at a certain point. No playful. Actually, you don't, dude. A little bit. A little bit. But that's just natural, man. You color it. You color it before you spray tan. No. No playful, Mr. Gray. How stupid am I if I dye this thing just bright red, redder than your fucking shirt? Yeah. Oh, no. I look like... And spray tan too. I look like a... To be orange and red. Idiot. We should do that for the next show. We should spray tan before we come in here. No. No, thank you. Why not? Why not? Because I want to be cut dead bringing in spray tanning. Or maybe we should do an episode where we get spray tanned in here. No. No. What is this? Bringing in Ginger Lynn? A different audience. I'll hold the football. No. We don't want to watch my pasty fucking... Whoa. Man boobs breaking on... No. No. You've thrown me off now. I got to take back, take a break here. Harumph. Harumph. Harumph. What's going on with the Cowboys? Are they still ahead? I don't know. Probably. Cowboys aren't going away this year. They're going to... I think they're going to... They're going to lose in the first round of the playoffs. I'm thinking it's a Steelers-Cowboys Super Bowl. Really? Oh, I think my head would explode. I think the fans, the fandom around here is the most obnoxious. I wish the stadium would just blow up. Hold on. I retract that. I don't want to take it as a terrorist threat. Yeah, come on, dude. Can't be making threats. Trying to look up the... Why do I get a charge? It must be my negative cynicism. It must be my cynicism coming through, but I just think it's funny. You know Devin Still, that defensive lineman for the Bengals, you know, his daughter has cancer and they're making a big deal of this. Ooh, 28-24. Third quarter, 39 seconds left. Dallas just scored. Yeah, we'll go catch the fourth quarter and we're done. Yeah. So go ahead. Sorry, you were saying something about something? I don't know anymore. I'm trying to color for you. Help me out. Devin Still, he's a guy that, you know, his daughter has cancer and all that and it's terrible and all that, but, and this is fucking, I'm the weirdo because I actually, like I said, get a charge out of this stuff. He's behind months and months on his child support. Oh. The poor girl. Wow. I know. So is he getting accused as being a deadbeat dad? He's getting accused of being a deadbeat dad. Wow. Wow. That's, that's messed up. It is messed up. You know, I mean, you're in the public eye, dude. Don't you know that everything you're going to do, law related, is going to be scrutinized by the general public? Right. And I'm just a deadbeat, but a deadbeat dad is the worst. Yeah, but you pay your debts. By the way, remember that bet you made back in 89? I do pay my debts, unfortunately, like a sucker. Just declare bankruptcy and live in my own little... Well, what's up with people who don't? You know, there's a couple people that you know that I know. There's like one guy that owes me a bottle of Jack Daniels. And I have him have it on text that he's going to hook me up. It wasn't even a bet. He just said since I did him a favor, he was going to repay the favor. And then there's, yeah. Did he repay? What do you mean? I'm just waiting for it. I'm not holding my breath, though. That's a deadbeat drunk. It's a little different than a deadbeat dad. There's a lot of us. Sorry, I can do without the whiskey, though. There's a lot of us floating around trying to cut back on the whiskey. Just drinking in general. Why? Why? Health, health reasons? No, I just want to lose a couple pounds, so I guess that is health reasons. You and everybody else come January 1st. That's it? No, I've had, I had two beers today and I think that's the most I've had in a week. Are you one of those drama queens that's like right at midnight, you chug your last beer and then slam it down? That's it? Well, that dude is like smokes his cigarette and holds it up to everyone and smashes it out. Like, that's my last cigarette ever. Always one of those guys. Every freaking New Year's Eve party. Never, never, never. Oh, look at this one, folks. This is the last cigarette I'm ever going to smoke in my life. I very rarely make New Year's resolutions. How about you? Do you ever make New Year's resolutions? Never. Yeah. Never. I make resolutions every day and I never live up to them, so it's depressing. I have a lot of resolve. Yeah. I never get through anything. It's just another night. Just another night. What, New Year's? Yeah. That's what you say when you're old. It's amateur night. That's what you say when you're old and you got nothing to do. There's plenty I've done, son. I know. I go home and I sit around with my friends and they freaking kick me out at 12.01. Yeah. They go, get up early tomorrow and get soccer practice. Well, even though in the wintertime, hockey practice at four in the morning. See ya. Gotta get out of here. I go fucking. It was depressing. The last two New Year's I've been home before my 75-year-old parents. I'm getting home in bed and then they come home. Hey, you just got me. They chuckle at me. You're like, you're home before us? Hee hee hee. Yeah. Oh, fucking A. Not this year. Sports suck sometimes. That's my resolution, CJ. That's what sucks about basketball is it goes through Christmas, you know, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve. If you're playing college basketball, even high school basketball, you have games throughout the holidays. Wrestling as well. Yeah. Wrestling. I'm not coaching wrestling. I'm wrestling. I got all types of time in my hands. Yeah. When I get time in my hands, all I do is spend money on it. Time is on my hands. Yes, it is. I get, the more time I have in my hands, the more money I spend. Time is on my hands. Yes, it is. Are you finished? Nope. Are you finished? No, I'm more Swedish. You sniveling ass. Stop your nonsense. That one worked good. I didn't even do it. Dude, you gotta do more of that. I know I do more of that. Or just turn it around and I'll do it. Yeah, good point. I'm not paying you the big bucks for nothing. Exactly. Certainly not for your looks. Unfortunately, this is a video cast. I know, dude. What's up with that? I always have to get dressed up when I come down here. Ha ha ha. Easy ducky. Oh, let's bash in the Patriots because I love bashing on my own team. Grievance against Patriots former doctor Thomas Gill because he was, I guess he was, he was asking, he was trying to force guys to retire. Jonathan Fennene, he passed two physicals. He's aligning with the Patriots. It's a lawsuit. I don't even know where I'm going with this, but the Patriots are just scumbags like everybody else. They help. He passed two physicals and then the Patriots released him citing his athletic knees. Okay. And this, this doctor tried to force him into retirement and they have, they have emails from back and forth. Bill Belichick encouraging this doctor to try to get this guy to retire. So let's play four corner offense here. Meaning we're going to delay, delay, delay until they could, they could just get rid of the fucking guy. Scumbags. Wow. Scumbags all over my toe, CJ. Why don't they just come right out and fire the dude? I know. I don't know because there's some kind of clauses going on. Yeah. You know. Although I do think those players are in time. The power of time. The power of time. The politics of football. Oh yeah. The politics of dancing reference. Yes. The politics of feeling good. Oh, this show is just spiraling out of control to listen to CJ come up with obscure 80s references. Speaking of 80s, the Boz. Now enough of the frigging Bozworth. The Boz. The Boz and Bo. Party in the back, business in the front. Hey, I think I heard that before. That's the most overrated thing in sports folklore. You know, Boz got ran over by Bo Jackson. He somewhat, but Bo Jackson's gonna, he took him down. It was just in the end zone. Yeah. You know, a yard into the end zone, but who's gonna bring Bo Jackson down a full head of steam at 250 yards? Yeah. Especially when the Boz is probably moving laterally. He wasn't moving forward. He was. He was moving laterally and he got ran over. Yeah. Poor Boz. Poor Boz. Poor Boz. It's just a different generation though. The whole thing's like him showing his kid all this stuff that his dad saved and he's like, my dad always pushed me to be the best. You know, meanwhile, I can hear your mouth breathing. I thought this was a multi, this is the uni, the multi. I can hear you fucking. No, it's omnidirectional and unidirectional. I can hear your nose hairs whistling. I'm gonna click on one more. Let's see if this one's. Oh no, not again. Not again. Quick, we need someone. We gotta get under the table. Hurry up. We need someone to chop CJ Snow, Snow, Snow, off. It's Nerf, Mr. Snowman, Nerf. What a sweet God. I don't even know if I have anything anymore. Dude, you're almost finished, man. Going home for Christmas. Yes. We won't, or you won't be doing another show. For another week or two. You wanna come in and do it on your own? What? Just an hour of you singing freaking obscure country songs and. Her name is Rio and she dances. Dances on the sun. Whistling Dixie with your fucking nose hairs. I'm sorry, I know you don't have any respect for the stars and bars and anything southern. It's like, no way, man. I'm not getting in it. Dude, you're the true Yankee. That's true. I am a Yankee. I am a true Yankee. Unfortunately. Yeah, Yanks, go home. Yeah. I am going home, CJ. Mama, I'm going home. I can't wait. I live like a college kid and I'm 38 fucking years old and I go home and I live like a college kid and I live like I'm 19 for two weeks. Hey, man, if it wasn't for mirrors, I would still think I was 20. And I gain 20 pounds and I drink every night of the week. Nice. I know. Yeah. Going back to Baston. It is fun. Take some beers with my friends. Go to the 99s. Big freaking 25 ounce beers at the 99s. Pound those. Cut up Buffalo Wings. Steel Reserve. Snort Buffalo Wings off the fucking bar top. Oh, can't wait, kid. Happy New Year, everyone. Yep. My resolution is to keep my cholesterol under 400. Hey, Dave, Merry Christmas, buddy. Merry Christmas, CJ. That's it. Freaking time flies when you're not having fun. Hey, good seeing you. We'll see you back in the new year. I know you love to use that joke. See you next year. See you next year. Later. Thank you for watching. Pistol grip pump on my lap Riskin' it for life Givin' it, never givin' it back Too late for slippin', so slack Up on my lap, that's on your lips So trap shot, a steel dick walk Flick for punk butt All I'm sayin' ain't no question who the man is Am I civic or witness showbiz? I shoot a fool, kill a fool, come on, what you say? I think I take it all, you motherfuckers, don't lay by the way Pistol grip pump on my lap in all times Pistol grip pump on my lap in all times Pistol grip pump on my lap in all times They can be fuckin' with other niggas, shit, but they can't be fuckin' with mine Pistol grip pump on my lap in all times Pistol grip pump on my lap in all times