Love Bite guests, fetish talk, and Marry/Fuck/Kill game

can't stay at home can't stay at school hey guys hello how you doing not there yeah we finished the song What of it? What? What of it, ASCAP? We finished the lyrics. Oh, no. Hey, guys. Welcome to this. Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight. Technically, it is 12.01, so we are afternooning. Can our word of the day be sexiology? Sexiology? Sure. Sexiology. Sexiology. So, hi, guys. Welcome to this delightful Saturday afternoon here in sunny California. I've decided to do the entire show like a morning talk show, like a morning zoo radio show. This is Awkward Conversations. As usual, I am joined by the posse to my left. Is my posse out? Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm sorry. I should have been more discreet. Your posse is out. Are we hairy? Are we hairy as well? No. Are we the hairy posse? You are hairy posse. I am hairy. I don't know where this is going. My posse is just out there flapping in the breeze. Is it hairy? Three people. Wait, wait, wait. Four people in the studio right now don't have the euphemism of the posse, so I don't know what's going on here. Is it their mangina? If you do, congratulations for telling the entire world that you guys are transgenders. Congratulations. Are you actually complaining that we just came out? No, I'm saying congratulations to you. How did you do? How did you do? How did you do? How did you do? How did you do? How did you do? How did you do? I'm saying this is a big step. We're proud of who we are. I'm saying this is a big step for you. I fight for my rights. Can I get to my introduction now? Yeah, all right. You can get to your introduction at some point. Jeez, Rachel. Can you introduce us already? Yeah, seriously. You're not getting introduced. You're taking so long. I'm going to exile you to the outside if you continue this nonsense. I can do it. The person squealing to my... The person squealing, I'm going to say, is squealing to my left is... Squealing. I don't know what we're calling her this week, but I'm going to call her Darth Boobs Anastasia Washington. That's here. Boom. Boom. Oh, we do. Wait, but I can't do it. It's not showing up on the air. Huh? Oh, sweet. Oh, yeah. Guys, we have our guests. Well, we have one of our guests on the air right now. We have half of us. We have half of our guests. That's cool. Half of you is better than none of you. It's true. Yes. And the other half is... It's like on her way. Like, she is, like, going to be there before you know it, and then it'll be awesome. Yay. And then you'll have her. Yay. Yay. Yay. So, we have half of Love Bites here with us. They're awesome. They're on Sundays at 3 to 4. I'm so sorry. I'm usually, like, the most unprepared host in the world. I apologize greatly. Oh, my God. Oh, I know. It's, like, the worst. She's so going to punish me later. It's okay. Oh, she sure is. I mean, I might spank a little bit. Oh, that's a bummer. I'm not really into the spanking thing, but that's okay. Fine. I'll punch you. Is that a bad word? Punching? Donkey punch. Donkey punch. Okay. Wow. Donkey punching. That's just... No. That's a hard limit. That is racism. That is racism. No, what was it the other day? That's racious. Racious. That's racist. That's racist. So, for the people that don't listen to your show, why don't you introduce yourself to America? Hi, America. So, I'm Nancy. I am your typical girl next door who is really kinky and likes to do things that other people would find very... How should I put it? I'm a service slut because I like to serve. One of the reasons that I'm not there now is because there was a need for childcare and cleaning and things like that, and it just was kind of decided that I was going to stay home and take care of these things so that she could go and have fun and be with you guys. Wow. Wow. It is a labor of love. Wow. I was like... Yeah, I was like... So, I'm that end of the spectrum, and when Mistress gets there, she can tell you all about her, but she's... I mean, I wish that I could follow her on my hands and knees so that she could place her feet on the palm of my hand so that way she'd never have to touch the ground. Wow. That's hot. It's like a... I don't know, man. Some people are... I don't know. Like, how can you be so subservient to someone else? And it's just... I don't know. It's like this gut feeling, like, why wouldn't I? It's kind of like, why wouldn't I lick a pussy if it was in front of me? Sure. Why not? Very different from... Yeah. Why wouldn't you lick a pussy if it was in front of you? I mean... Straight people on this show. No straight man ever would not lick a pussy. No straight man, especially not in this room. Not in this room. No. Nobody would know. Parents, if you're listening, turn it off now. She actually knows how it works and operates, unlike some of the people on our show. I'm talking about Jeff. I'm not... Yeah. I'm talking about Jeff. Damn it, Jeff! God. See, I hear the term lick a pussy, and I just think, why would I lick my cat? That's because, well, I mean, did you have... Maybe your cat is... Did you ever have a girlfriend? Like, did you ever have a girlfriend? I can... I can honestly say I did not. Huh. Okay. Well, see, now we're getting to the root of it. So then you're kind of like the equivalent of the gold star lesbian, but, like, not a lesbian. Nancy, can we... Yeah. Nancy, can we... Exactly. Nancy, can we hang out in the clitoral hood together? Oh, girl, what do we want? We've decided that's, like, the ghetto where they keep pussies. He just found out there's a clitoral hood last week, just so you know. Yeah. Oh, no. I thought it was Frank's true story, bro. True story. Two weeks ago, he just figured out how the vagina works. No. So congratulations to him. No, he knew how it worked. I knew how it worked. We just drew my guy around. Did you? I just didn't know how it urinated. You just left everything came out of the same place. You're delightful, Nathan. So... Are you sorry you came on the show now? Yeah, I mean, this is how it's going to be every week. I'm so sad that I'm not there. I'm not there. We'll just have to have you on again. Yeah, we'll have to have you on a separate way. And again? Oh, no. Just repeating itself a lot. The people down from the lawyer's office are looking at us, and they're like... Yeah, because the door is open. Because we're like monkeys in a zoo. Oh, well, we're just monkeying around, I guess. I know, right? That's racial. I take no offense to that. Don't take any offense to it. So... Nancy, are you... Nancy, are you... Nancy, are you... Nancy, are you... She could be drinking with us, but she's not. Well, you don't know. She could be, I don't know, drinking at home. Are you drinking right now? Can we have a long-distance toast? Well, because I'm at Mistress's house, and I know she has alcohol here. I'm just kind of like, where is this? I'm such a pussy. I don't make my own drinks because I'm like, I don't know these ratios and how it's supposed to taste and whatnot. Just alcohol, and you just pour the alcohol into your mouth. Dump everything in a bowl. It's jungle juice. That's how it rolls. That's racemes. That's what it's called. It is racemes. Jungle fever. That's what it's called. This is the way you do it. Pour the alcohol into a glass. Don't put any ice because the water waters down the alcohol. I feel like just so she can know who she's talking to at a single time, maybe we should introduce. She knows Frank and Stacey, but maybe the two new hosts of our show should introduce themselves to Miss and not Miss Nancy. I'm like, who the fuck are these new hosts? Why don't I know them? Well, we can. Who the fuck are these assholes? Here's the thing. The other bitch wasn't working. We just wandered in from the lawyer's office. No, it's true. The other bitch wasn't working, so I kicked him to the curb. Is that what happened? Yeah. Stacey and I decided he wasn't working out, so we kicked his fucking ass. Listen. Rachel, Rachel, can I walk in front of you so you never have to step on the ground? Lies. Lies. The truth is that me and Cisco had a passionate night together, and, you know, sometimes. It was so awkward. It was so awkward. Sometimes. Afterwards. I get really intense in bed, and I ripped his head off, and I was just like, ah, shit. Let's get a new host. Oh, my God. You pre-mantest him? I did. That is fucking awesome. It happens very rarely for me, but, you know. You just bit the head off the male, man. That's how we roll. That's how we roll up here in awkward conversations. That's how it happens. Now, I'm never getting laid ever. No, no. Some people might be. Are you actually getting laid now? Dude, there's a fight. Not right now. I'm on a TV show. I mean, on a radio show. You never know. There could be something going on under the table. There's somebody under me right now. I'm actually getting laid as we speak. It's not very good, obviously, with my voice. There's a fetish. Hey, there's a fetish for everything out there. There might be some dude that's, like, into, like, I don't know, without biting the head off, some weird pre-mantest role play. I don't know. I'm just going to. Hell, yeah. People are kicking. People are kicking. Every single time someone says, oh, that's weird. Oh, that's not for me. You know what? There's something out there that's, like, way out there. That's true. Nancy, I thought you were saying. Like, hell fucking yeah. I'm into pre-mantest role play. Just for realsies, I don't bite anybody's head off, okay? I'm a very nice person. We had this argument about Lorena Bobbitt yesterday about whether she bit somebody's head off, you know? Like, penis. Penis. I don't bite anybody's head off. I'm very nice to everybody. Yes. I'm sure you are. No, you know what's funny is that Mistress is very nice. She's super sweet. But people who don't really talk to her think she's so fucking mean. And just, like, they're so scared of her. Like, they'll talk to me, like, oh, cool, you know, hey, what's up? And then she shows up and they're like, oh, fuck. Let me watch what I say. Let me avert my fucking eyes. I mean, she just has this thing about her. Like a badass. She's like, hey, I'm really nice. You know, be my friend. Talk to me. Yeah. That makes sense. That's just the way it is sometimes. Somebody's left the studio. Uh-oh. Where is he going? What is he doing? We just called him out on the radio. We are. This is the first people. We offended Frank so much. He had to leave. He left. He had to leave. So I have a question for you, Nancy. Is there, um, is there, like, is there a fetish that you're like, that is just too fucking weird? I'm never doing that. Oh, yeah. Craig Mantis role play. No, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. I'm not, I'm not doing that. Um, you know what? And it's probably not that far out. It's just that it's, it's just isn't for me. Um, I'd have to say, so there's cuckolding, which I mean, it's kind of, I'm on kind of like teetering. I'm on a fence about that one because I'm, I'm, I would, it would be really difficult for me to see someone that I love, that I adore, that I'm in a relationship with, uh, being fucked by somebody else. Yeah. Um, that would be really hard for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. While it seems like something that would be really hard. I'm very well aware that I like pushing myself. I like kind of just, uh, going a little bit further each time, but that's one of those things where it's like, I can see it in the distance. Like maybe I'll get there someday. But right now, as of today, no, no. Hell no. Cause I'm enough of an emotional mask. I don't want to put myself in that position. And there's people who like, they love it. It's like totally. This is like, there's like, go to. It's like fantasy. They're beating off. But there's a very big difference between having a fantasy and it's in your head and it hasn't been like played out yet versus going through with it and it actually happening. That's not. No, no, no. I'm going to. Thank you. I'm going to pose that question to the rest of the people in the studio. Is there like a fetish that you're just like, oh, oh, fuck now. Oh, I'll do it. I will go ahead and answer that. Actually, there was one time at a dive bar in the Valley where I made a, I made a, I made out with a gay porn star. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And. The story's getting interesting. Yeah. And. Were you, were you at the bullet by any chance? At what? Were you at the bar, the bullet? I have you now. No, no. It was even divier than that. It was. Oh my. It was divier than that. Jocks, I think it was. Oh my. It closed down a while ago. Did they teabag somebody on the bar? No. Then it's not divier. Divier than that. Okay. But anyway, yeah, I made out with this porn star and he's like, well, I'm not going to you wouldn't be into what I'm into. And I'm like, well, what are you into? And he's like, I'm into shit and piss. I'm like, okay. Yeah. No. No. I draw the line there. Nathan, is there, is there, is there something that your lovely girlfriend has said, hey, I want to do this. And you're like, dude, that's a step too far. Oh, I was just going to say homosexuality, but I guess, I guess. I guess. But she's a fetish. Um, you know, I'm really not into it. What, what's the fetish called where you pretend? To be like little kids, like, um, not like the babies or, or like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like where you pretend to be like a needy, like baby, like adult babies. Yeah. Yeah. I would not. Nope. I would not do that. Cute little diaper baby. That's not for Nathan. I have enough of a baby face. By the way, Nancy, she was about to introduce us. I'm Nathan. This is Jeff. Yeah. Hi, Nancy. Now you know them. Are you sad that you know them? Yes. Yes. You should be. I am. You guys don't understand. Like probably since the beginning of this conversation, I've been thinking, okay, who's going to be the one? Who's going to be the one that when we go to the dungeon, because we're going to go to the dungeon. Yes, we are. We are. This is going to happen. Who's going to be the one that, that, that we're going to break in, that we're going to do something. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. That's going to let us do something. I volunteer Nathan right now. As the only one in this room who's currently in a relationship. No. I will not be talking to you. What if we get written permission? No. No. Permission from your girlfriend. I can get, I can get on the horn there and call old Maggie. Um. And let her. If she gives you permission, will you get spanked in the dungeon? Will you? Can we film it? We can't film in the dungeon. We can't film in the dungeon. No filming allowed. You're really putting me on the spot here. Okay. Well, we'll skip it. Stacey, is there a fetish that you're like, I don't want to. Uh, yep. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't do any of the poopy play stuff. That's gross. Uh. You wouldn't have sex with an American. I don't think I would do sex. I would have sex with an American. She's never dated somebody. I just never. She's not into the American fetish. Hey, this isn't Let's Air Stacey shit show. No, because we're not into that fetish. Oh. Sexiology. And sexiology. I find Americans attractive. They just don't seem to be that into me. Okay. Now I'm going to cry on air. I'm over it. Congratulations. Um. Sky rockets. No. Boo! Okay. Um. No, I wouldn't do any poop play or sounding or. Our other guest walked in. She's delightful. Our guest just walked in. Get out of her seat now, Noah. Boo! Boo! Oh, you're right over there. Wherever you want to sit. Just sit wherever you want. You can do whatever you like. So the better. So the other. Also, no chopping people up or something. Right. The other half of Love Bites just walked into the studio. Hey, kids. Looking delightful in like snake print and gray and green. It's awesome. We're just. Is that Nancy? Yes. Okay. So right now the question we're posing, Frank and two mistresses. Is there a fetish out there that you're like, fuck no, you can't pay me any amount of money to do like I'm out. Scott. Scott. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of been the answer. That's kind of been the answer, Frank. Is there? Is there something that you're like, no, I don't want to. No, I'll never, ever, ever do this. Frank's done being scandalized, by the way. He's back. Wait, what's going on? Is there a fetish out there? Frank, we're doing a podcast right now. That you like. So glad you could join us. So like you're, you're, you're doing what you're doing with some dude and he turns around. He goes, okay, there's always this fetish I've wanted to do. And it's like blank. Is there some fetish that you're like, fuck no, I'm not going to do it. Shit play. Shit play. Shit play. That's not true. That's a terrible consensus. You know, one of the things that I learned a long time ago is that saying that there's something that you would never, ever do. There are things I never thought I would do that I do. But, you know, I can safely say I will never find a desire to play with somebody else's poop or to poop on someone. None of that sounds awesome to me. Right. I mean, you know, I have kids. I've done my poop play for my life. I don't need it anymore. You don't need it anymore. Ever. Nick, is there, is there a fetish out there that you're like, eh, maybe not so much in for me? The same thing you're all thinking. Poop play. Poop play. Fucking disgusting. So it's not. Wait, wait. So this is an excellent question then for our fantastic Nick. So you do forced by? What'd you ask me? Oh, wait. Yeah. So then you would do forced by. You would, under the tutelage of a dominant, suck a man's cock. Not. Sounds boring. We should, we should already tell the ladies of love, but it's our goal. Usually every Saturday to see how far we can embarrass Nick on air. Yeah. Uh, can't embarrass me. We haven't done it yet. We've made him awkwardly uncomfortable, but we've not yet been like, he's never been like, that's it. People peace out. Um, I should, well, if I leave, that's what I'm saying. Let's make him leave. We've never been so like, uh, God. Yeah. I don't want to do your show anymore. Bye. Um, well, I don't want that to ever happen, but I do want to see him squirm a little bit. Yeah. Just a little bit. I should answer my own question. Is there, are there fetishes that like, if somebody was like, Hey, I want to do this. Would I say no? Thank you. Uh, there are fetish there. I, I can usually get behind the ball on, on most things. The poop and play thing. Not, not so much. Poop and play. Like, but like, if that's your cup of tea, like, I'm not going to knock you out. I'm not going to knock you for it. But there are two things that I just, I, I kind of, I'm like, I don't, I don't get it. I don't understand. And one is, uh, adult babies. I'm with you on that one. I don't, I don't understand it. I still think you'd be an adorable baby. I mean, again, that's your cup of tea, like more power to you, but I don't really, why I, I was a baby once. I don't, I don't want to be treated like a baby. A guy, a guy one time in contact with me who wanted me to, to be as dominant and he was super. Into diaper play. Like he would wear diapers all the time. He would wet himself intentionally. He would like all this kind of stuff. And I was just like, like, I tried to wrap my head around it for a while to be like, okay, well, what is this? I mean, is this, and then I hate to say this, but like, like my inner therapist came out and be like, let's see what we can do to make it so uncomfortable for him that he will never want to wear diapers again. That point never happened. And I was like, dude, this is awesome. And good luck. But no, I again had kids. Don't really want to change diapers again. I'm good. I'm good with babies. And at some point I'm pretty sure I'm going to be changing the diapers of like my mom or something. So yeah, no, thanks. We're good. It depends. Oh, sexyology. And the other one I can't, I can't really, um, just because I, to me, I find it kind of chauvinistic are like, uh, breeders and guys are like into like lactation, like women that like guys that like to suck their women's tits after they've had babies and like, just like their women just to breed. I don't, I can't like that to me. I'm like, you can't really afford to go to the store and get milk. That's true. It's like a milk factory. Is everybody going back to the last couple of pages of Grapes of Wrath? Please say everybody read it. Last couple of pages of that, whatever. That's where I'm going. Yeah. I don't, I don't know. God bless you all for knowing. We're literate. God. Like again, if it's your cup of tea, I'm not going to like knock it. But for me, it's just like, that's okay. Okay. I mean, I could, I could see it like with your husband after you've had a baby, maybe curious, but if he's like always there, I'd be like, get the fuck off. I'll tell you, you know, from personal experience, you got a baby hanging on there like half the time when you can't sleep. You're like, dude, seriously? Just no, no, get off. Right. Because it's either it's pumping or there's a baby on it and I don't have time for you. Sorry. What if he can't get off? What if he can't get off? Then that's an issue. Then she's like, I, hmm. Pills come into play. Clitoral hood. Let's all hang in the clitoral hood. Uh, let's not. That place is dangerous. I don't know. I don't want anybody hanging out. It depends on how you're hanging. Sketch, sketch. How is you hanging in the clitoral hood? You know, a little bit of curves, a little bit of. I mean, what kind of people, what kind of shady characters are hanging out there? You know, ahead of the game, you know, just. I think it depends. I think it depends. I think it depends. It depends entirely on, you know, who's been there before. Yeah. Sure. Shady mess going on. Clitoral hood. And whether we need some drugs in the clitoral hood. Let's see how many times we can say it on air. Clitoral hood. Calling gangsta in the clitoral hood. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. So if you've had BBC, does that mean you've gone gangsta in the clitoral hood? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say Jess is like the whitest person ever. You haven't seen clitoral hood. You haven't said it yet. I don't know him, but I'm saying he's the whitest person ever too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The way he even said that, he's like, should we go gangsta in the clitoral hood? It was so white and so southern. It was so white and so southern all at the same time. Get the fuck out of here. Hey. Okay. Fine. I will. I'll say to you when you see me. No, by the way, let's all be grapes of wrath together. We're going to bond over some literacy here, people. Is that your tongue action for the clitoral hood? Oh, you're poor girl. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That is terrifying. That was not a sound effect. I just made that. Do you hate the clit? Is that like a clit hating move? Because that's not attractive. I kind of, I mean. He doesn't hang in the clitoral hood. He does not hang in the clitoral hood. He doesn't hang in the clitoral hood. Does he hang in the head hood? No. I'm not one to judge. No, no. No, no. He's straight. He just doesn't like the clitoral hood. What's wrong with you? I'm not going to hurt you. It's not really. It's not really. Do you love your woman? I mean, you know. He loves his woman. Yeah. Let's air some nonsense on this. Everybody deserves oral sex. Okay. I've, someone told me years ago that the best way to do it was to do the ABCs with your tongue. That's a lie. Every woman's different. Number one, every single woman is different. There are some women that will be like, bite my clit. And I'll tell you, you do that and you're going to fucking get a foot in your face for me. I just feel like I almost vomited. I drink. I was like, ow. Every single woman is different. So you can't like that ABC thing. Whatever. It's just different. If I, if I bit somebody's clitoris, wouldn't urine come out? Oh my God. You should, you should know this, Miss. That like a couple of weeks ago. This is the day to air my shit. This is the day to air my shit. Two diagrams. Yeah. We had to draw him a diagram of how it operates. Well, you have. Again. Vaginas yourselves. And attached to said vagina is this clitoris of which we are speaking. You can show it to him. Again. Again. We were in a restaurant. Yeah. We can spread it out. Again. I know how a vagina operates. I know about the clitoris. You just thought you peed and other things out of the same hole. I did not realize how a vagina urinates. I just didn't know how it happened. You should come to a dungeon and I can show you some people that will pee on other people and you can watch how the vagina operates. This is all they talked about. The fetish we're not into. Can you pee on me? Pee on me. Let's pee on me. Okay. We'll go to Sanctuary. I'll pee on you there. Wait. What? Are we where? Sanctuary. They have a shower. There you go. Yes. Let's do this. Shower play. Challenge accepted. Wait. Challenge accepted. No. Frank did not know that we peed out of a different hole. Did you? Yes, I did. Maybe. I've been around long enough. Okay. So these two didn't know. Noah, did you know we had different holes? But it helped. Thank you. No, no, no. I went to private school where we didn't have. Private Jewish school, right? Education. Private. Education. I'm sorry. So the Jews don't know that women have a urethra which is separate from their vagina? Yeah. Oh my God. Is it urethra? I knew that the urethra existed. Yes. I've heard that term before. Both men and women have urethras. Did you know that? They're just different. Should we say the conversation how this came about? You know, I think we pee out of the same hole. Yes. Well, that's because you're simpler creatures. Right. And that's how. So your argument of I don't want to go down. Because it's messy up in there. No, no, no. Yours is messier. But as you know, my argument has always been. I mean, you know, it's tit for tat. If a girl's going down on me, I'll go down on her. So you're saying you don't get any oral sex? If I don't want to go down, I won't ask for it. I guess that's fair. So what if she pulls your junk out and starts sucking your knob? Then do you feel that. Oh, I mean, I've gone down on women. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, but I'm not. Yeah, but you're not good at it. I can tell you right now. I'm not good at it. No, you're not. Because you know why? Because you're not feeling it. It's just like if a woman. Anybody. Yeah, no, for sure. You know what the number one key to oral sex is for both men and women? Being into it. Passion. Yeah, for sure. Wanting it. Desiring it. And I don't give a fuck where you channel that from. It could be because if I give him this goddamn blowjob, I get a diamond ring. I don't care. I'm not judging people, but you better be in it to win it. Yeah. In it. In it. I completely agree. In the mentality, people. I completely agree. The female's in it. In it. Two fingers, baby. Yeah. I completely agree. And that's, I mean, that's why, like, I'm not, I'm not particularly offended when we talk about it because it's like, well, yeah, I'm not that into that. She's not that into that. So it doesn't need to, it doesn't need to happen either way, particularly. There you go. So I'm just assessing, you probably have not had a mind-blowing blowjob? You know, I've never had a mind-blowing blowjob. I've had okay blowjobs. Yeah, mostly, mostly, most blowjobs are just okay. I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm right here. We've heard good things about Frank. You can't even talk into your mic right. We've heard really good things about Frank. Dude, I'm serious. Shut up. Well, you know what? I think he's seen. Frank has a high Yelp rating. He really does. I mean, seriously, like, if there was a Yelp page for Frank, it'd be fine. You should. You should. It'd be like six stars. I mean, I don't have a cock, but I totally want to check into Frank's blowjob right now. You know, I'll bet Frank is pretty good at eating out, too. I mean, I just. Oh, yeah. He seems like a terrible. Have you seen his tongue? Have you seen him lick a bowl and chew it clean? Good mouth functions. Seriously, sometimes he's eating and I go, really? You don't want to be straight a little bit? This poses a really excellent secondary question then to Frank. Frank, do you do analingus? Yes. There you go. So, yeah, he would be good at oral sex. You just said you're not into shit play. That doesn't mean. It doesn't mean that. No. No. Okay, I'm just constantly worried. Do you constantly have shit on your ass? That's all I guess. I guess here's what it boils. Do you not shower? I don't think you know. Yeah, yeah. Here's what it boils down to. I'm just worried that there's going to be bodily function fluids or product that's in every hole. Are you a little germaphobic? There is. I'm very germaphobic. He's Jewish. We're all germaphobic. I have OCD and I'm not a bad paranoid. That's what makes sex so great. It's going to get messy. It's going to get uncomfortable. It's going to get awkward. Fluids will be going. You're going to exchange fluids. You're going to have fucking shit under your fingernails. Not real shit unless you're putting your finger up a butt, which is going to happen. You're going to get messy. You've never gotten your prostate milked. And you want to know what's great about all of that? I'm going to take on that one. If you just embrace it and accept it, it's a completely wonderful experience. And guess what? You can take a shower and even use hand sanitizer after. It's true. They have technology these days that you know. Technology. It allows you to be clean. It's true. They even have little ultraviolet walls. What is this shower that you speak of? I mean, you know, it's like, for me, it's like Howard Hughes. Like, you wouldn't have sex with Howard Hughes. I'm not going to. No, because. Because he kept jars of pee by his bed. That's why I went in there. I'm sorry, but he's crazy. So what's the word about crazy and sex? Awesome. Makes it better. Okay. Awesome. Yeah, I mean, I know, like, my OCD. My OCD comes into bed play a lot because. Do you fold your clothing before you have sex? No, I do not. Okay. But I did have a boyfriend that also had OCD. That's odd. We talked about this. Yeah. That's odd. He folded his. Let me fold my underwear before I do shit. But actually, it was funny. Because, like, it annoyed me so much at first that he would fold his clothes. But then when he actually, like, threw them down on the ground, it was so much more. Like, the few times that he did, I was just like, oh, okay. That's awesome. That's kind of nice. I mean, like, it was just so different. And also, my OCD, I have a lot of, like, touch and sound and all that stuff is my anxiety and my OCD. So, like, if you only touch one side of me, it, like, drives me insane. And. Stop it. Here, I'll touch the other side. Thank you. And so, that comes into play. So, like, I think that your germophobia, if you found a way to. I'm sure. Turn you on more. There's a fetish out there for everything. I'm sure there's, like, a germaphobe fetish out there. Maybe, like, a scrub plate. Like, you have to clean him. Like, so much. Honestly, you know what's funny? I'm not going to name names. But certain exes of mine have almost, like, not wanted me. To eat them out. And it's not because I'm bad at it. It's because, like, they just don't like it. That's a girl at a certain age, I feel like. And I was just like, well, I will do it. Like, I want to do it because you're giving me blowjobs. So, I'm like, all right. Well, I should do it. Parents, seriously, turn off the podcast. Hi, Mom. I'm like, seriously, like, I will do it if, you know, if you want. And, you know, I think maybe that's part of it is I was so, like. And you're young. Kind of embarrassed by the, oh, well, I don't want it. To the point where it was like, all right. Well, then I don't need to give it. And he's young. So, like, the girls he's dating are still in that awkward stage. I am. I am 14, by the way. I don't know if I want it. I don't know how I feel about it. It takes a comfortability with oneself to let go and not fake it. And to really have an orgasm in front of somebody else. Yeah. That takes a lot. I mean, men don't get that. Because, you know. You guys come all the fucking time. But for women, it's just a very different experience. And it takes a lot more for us to have orgasms. And there's a lot more work involved. And it requires a great deal of trust. And so, you're right. It's about women's age. When they get to a certain age when they don't. They're not ready to accept that. And then they get older and they're like, fuck you. I'm not faking it. This is going to happen. And if you suck, you better stop. Or else I'm grabbing my Hitachi. I know. For me, I was like that in my early, like, late teens, early 20s. And then my boyfriend, who I was always, like, I'm very, I'm a very, not subservient girlfriend. But I do like to please my man. I'm like one of those girls. Make me a sandwich. Like that. Turns me on a little bit. And so, he was at this party. Make it with gluten-free bread. He was at this party with all his Russian friends. And he was sitting there. And he was like, you know, she goes down on me all the time. And I never have to. And as I walked by, I just said, oh, I don't even like it. What? You do. Like, you do have to go down on me now. And then I couldn't get him off of it. Like, it just became, like, a thing that we both enjoyed. But that was, like, my turning point. Like, I had to get to that point where I would. And maybe it was, like, a dominance thing. And I was like, I don't even give a fuck if I enjoy this. It's I have now made you do this for me. Yeah, I get that. Do you know why? I mean. Because he got addicted to the game down in the clitoral. Don't hate the game. He's like, oh, I hate the game. No, but I mean. Damn. I do think that's part of it, though. I think, you know, like, I'm okay giving it. Like, everybody thinks that I'm, like, not good. No, we joke. We joke. I'm good with giving it. I'm, you know, I'm even told that I'm pretty good at it. But I just, I don't, I don't really get passionate about it, like you're saying. Like, I just, I'm not, like, I'm not, like, super into it. I'm not, like, this is what I want to be doing right now. I'm always like, all right, can we have sex? Are you guys super into giving blowjobs? Yeah, I'm perfectly fine with. No, fine? Or are you, like, into it? Yeah, like, actually, this is a question for everybody. Like, would you prefer oral sex or would you prefer real sex? Oral sex. Like, regular sex. Sex. Real sex. Sex. Real sex. Oral sex. Frank? All sex. Definitely all sex. All sex. I like that answer. That wasn't, that wasn't the question that was posed. You're not allowed to change the rules, Nancy. You misrule lover. It is a question of either or. You have to choose. Which is it? This is really turning me on. Hands above the table. Hands above the table. Hands above the table. Hands above the table. Hand check. Hand check. Real sex. I'd say real sex. Wait, did Nancy answer the question? No, she's still thinking. No. I'm still thinking, yeah. Okay, so Frank says real sex. Yeah. Jeff says real sex. Real sex. Real sex. Well. I can't comment on either, but. You're almost not gonna say. So, but if I had to, I guess I would say real sex. So, I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not really alone here. Like, I, I'm, you all appreciate oral sex and I, I appreciate oral sex too, but I'm usually thinking in my mind, all right, like, can we get to the main show? Yeah. It's like, to me, oral sex is just basically foreplay. Right. Exactly. Exactly. You guys need to have oral sex with my boyfriend. Real sex. Oh. Wow. Well, okay. If you're offering. I'm just saying. If you're offering, sure. It's a public service. Yeah. I'll let him know. Hey, Eric, you're gonna start, well, I guess I can cock, because there's a lot of cock in here. There is a lot of cock in here. Yeah. He wouldn't like it. Yeah. I mean, you are a dom, so maybe you can make him. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's one of his hard limits. Oh. Oh, no. There's limits. There's limits in love. I wanted, that's seriously what I wanted to answer when you asked me what fetish I'm gonna do. I wanted to say homosexuality. So, we're gonna take a hard left turn, and I think we're gonna ask them our questions. Okay. So, I'm gonna start with Stacey first. Why don't you, I guess ask, yeah, ask them both. I was gonna have you go one at a time, but ask them both. If you could have sex with any cartoon character, not video game, cartoon character, who would it be? And why? That's really, that takes a lot of probing thought. I don't want to probe that thought. Okay, okay, wait. Okay, cartoon character, can it be, like, cartoon based on a comic book kind of thing? Legit question. If it is. If there's a TV show or movie. If there's a TV cartoon of it, I think. Oh, yeah. A lot of comic books have been turned into anime. Yeah, so I would say Stacey, Stacey, one, two, three, Stacey, Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. All right. In that case, for me, it would be Rogue, so like the X-Men. Nice. That'd be a serious one. Nice. Good choice. You guys are on the separate field, the DC and the Marvel field. Oh, yeah, no, trust me. But we've never had a... By the way, if you had sex with Rogue, I mean, she would constantly be getting better because she would adapt your powers. Or she'd kill you. Or she'd kill you. Or she'd kill you. She'd have to wear a latex suit, let's be honest. Well, fuck, if she killed me, that would be, like, a way to go, dude. Right? See, she has the same philosophy as me with the sex with Hulk. See, everybody makes fun of me for the sex with Hulk thing, but what a way to go. A rape test. Are we asking Noah the questions, too? Oh, yeah, Noah. Oh, wait, we have somebody else in our studio who's kind of been silent this whole time, but it's Noah. We've got a random friend, Noah, in the... And we're going to pass him mics. What's up, guys? Hi. So, Noah, your question is, if you were a cartoon... Or if you had to have sex with a cartoon character, who would you have sex with? Who would it be? Well, I think it's kind of obvious. I mean, it would probably have to be Jessica Rabbit. My choice. Good choice. Good choice. Good choice. That's a good choice. All the straight men in the world. Who would have sex with Jessica Rabbit? I don't know. She likes bunnies, guys. What the fuck is wrong with you? The same. Two gay men would. Don't most girls like bunnies? But here's the thing. I want to fuck you like a rabbit. She's kinky. She's into bestiality. So, you know, she's got a streak there. This is the first time I finally got that. That he was a rabbit and she was married to a rabbit. First time. And I used to love that movie. God, I'm going to have to rewatch it. So, this is off the subject, but I was listening to the Grease soundtrack because I was on a show tune kick. And the song... The song, Reigning on Prom Night from the musical Grease, is about a girl who gets her period on prom night. You're welcome, world. You're welcome. You want more? Conjure Tate on that for a bit. I'm done. That was painful. Do I have to? It was awful. Go back. Listen to the lyrics. You're welcome. I'm going to masturbate. Frank, why don't you ask your question next? Okay. Are you more of a orgy person or a gangbang kind of person? Orgy. Oh. That was quick. I've done both, so I know which one I like. Because it's classy. It's classy. No, no, no. There's grapes and wine. And you get to share more of you. Let me specify if you would like to the philosophy behind. Oh, I'll take it. A gangbang is almost entirely about the use and defiling of a woman. That's the nature behind a gangbang. Whereas an orgy, I can be absolutely in control. It doesn't matter. So, that's the essential difference between why... Like, I was telling somebody about my first, what I consider to be an orgy. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. When I described the makeup of the group, it was two girls and five guys that were like, no, that's a gangbang. And I was like, yeah, no, you needed to be there. That was not a fucking gangbang. It was an orgy. Trust me. Because it wasn't what the traditional gangbang makeup would be. You know, it wasn't just chicks laying their fucking cock. It wasn't like that. There you go. Nancy? Definitely orgy. I'm a people watcher. So, to me, like, I don't know. I would say I've had this... Okay. So, I've had this fantasy of, like, I want to be... I want... While being fucked, I want to watch other people. won't be fucked. Like, I want this to happen so bad. I need to focus. It makes sense, though. If you're like, even if you're like watching porn and having sex. I need to focus. Noah? I literally, my brain checks out. We can make you answer every question, Noah, so just be prepared. Orgy or gangbang? Well, to be quite honest, I haven't had either, but I'd say probably orgy. You need to get out more. Yeah, probably orgy. Less gay. Less sausage, usually. He is giving me the exact same answers I did. Also, there's grapes and wine and maybe like meats of some sort. I mean, I feel like, you know, it's a nicer, classier dig. I don't know. Orgies are classy. See, I was going with like the philosophy of like, because it's classy, but then you can share the loving. Isn't it like, more of a gangbang is kind of selfish to like the person getting it, right? And it's like a degradation act. Yeah. There's some chicks I know that fucking, like just drool over the idea of a gangbang. I don't know. It grossed me. I think one of them is on the phone with her. She said orgy. Nancy's funny though. She is a cock hater, without a doubt. She hates cock. However, if I set up a gangbang with people that she knew and trusted and I forced her to do it, she would be like a fucking gooey wet mess and it would be like heaven for her. In a heartbeat. In a heartbeat, yeah. That's sweet. You guys are sweet friends. It's true. Okay. Now it's time for the philosophical question. Our Jeff, what's your question? My question? Yeah. Oh, actually. Did you change it? Yeah, I changed it because I was kind of put on the spot last week. That's not the rules. I put on the spot. You can't change it. No. No one told me the rules. You can't change it. You can't change it. No one told me the rules. Yeah, I did that once and it's not okay. So you can't change it. We're supposed to follow the rules. We're supposed to follow the rules all the time. She'll spank you. So. I will. Keep your other question in mind for next month, but this one. Next month, ask the question. Because it's a thinky kind of question, man. It is and it got a good answer. Yeah. So ask it. Don't hate your question. Okay. Where do you see yourself five years from now? Oh, fuck. Really? Oh, shit. Excellent. I like how orgy or gangbang. It's almost awkward. Orgy or gangbang got an answer like that. But where do you see yourself in five years? It's like, oh, fuck. It's like my question. It's really cool. It is. My question from last month was the same. It's like, you know, it's one of those things. It's not awkward. It's just, it takes a lot of thought, you know. For me, thought is awkward. Oh, no. Thought is not awkward at all. I mean, it's mandatory. Five years. Fuck, I don't. God, I don't know. I'd have a lot more toys. Here's the problem. When you're like specifically talking about kind of kink and what it is that I do and what it is that Nancy does, I am here in this part of my life because I've done a fucking shitload of things. Like my past is a whore's past, to put it mildly. And now there's so, people ask me like, what is the one thing that you would love to do that you've never done? And I'm like, I don't think there's anything I haven't done. I don't really know. I haven't done double penetration. So in five years, I'll have had double penetration. How's that? Is that cool? I'll do that. Frank's already had it, I'm sure. I don't know. I don't want to be like cheesy. Like still with my boyfriend. I don't know. That would be nice. Shut up. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. How about I give you your five years where you have a girlfriend then and you're all happy and then I can fucking make fun of you. Like? Just saying, okay. No, no, no, no, no. That doesn't work because I was sappy before you were ever sappy. I was okay with my sap. It doesn't matter. You're like, oh. Because you've mocked my sap. You've mocked my sap. For so long, don't think you're not getting it. Like you've never gotten it because you know. Yeah. But I don't really give a shit is the thing. That was like being a sappy hipster. Like I was sappy before you were sappy. I was sappy before it was cool. I'm sappy ironically. I'm sappy ironically now. YOLO. Sorry. Oh, yeah. I'm going to kill myself now. I'm sorry. Did Nancy answer the question or no? Yeah, but you didn't kill yourself before it was cool. I did not. Answer the question. In five years. For me, just while she's thinking, do you have an answer yet? I do have an answer actually. Go for it. In five years, I want to have had forced hetero experiences just because it would be, it would blow my mind. I think Noah will volunteer for that. Noah's shocked right now. I've heard good things about Noah too. I don't know. She asked for forced hetero. No, she needs to have a sex with somebody she knows. If she gets to know him and she likes you, it's possible. But she's a lesbian. Noah has a good Yelp page as well. He's very handsome. He's very handsome too. He's not bad looking, dude. He has really nice bone structure. But further than that, further than the forced hetero, I do, I do, I have high hopes for my romantic life. And that's all I'll say about that. Alrighty. There you go. Nathan, what's your question, dude? Oh, wait, but we have to ask Noah. Oh, Noah. Noah. Where do you see yourself? Where do you see yourself? Where do you see yourself? I've been in love for five years. I forgot. I'm sorry. So is this like in life in general or just... You know, whatever. Or sex or whatever. I like the sex side of it. I didn't even say it. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't say it one way or another. I mean, I guess in five years it'd be really nice to have another really meaningful relationship. Aww. Aww. Now let's have a forced hetero gangbang with Nancy. That's so sweet. Gay. Gay. And then maybe I'll get out more and I'll have an orgy. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Seriously, forced hetero gangbang with Nancy. Nathan. Boom. My question is would you prefer for the rest of your life to be forced to wear a burqa or would you prefer for the rest of your life to have to go naked, nudist, everywhere? Let me ask you this. Are you allowed to make alterations to the burqa? No. Oh, yeah. I mean, I should say last week. I think no. I mean, because like if you remove the essential burqa-ness of the burqa, then the question is kind of moot. So I'm going to say no. Yeah, but I like to push limits. That's why I'm asking. So I want to make sure that I'm following the rules. Yeah, but you know what I mean. I think it needs to cover you from head to toe, basically. Okay. I was raised a nudist, so I'd just go back to being a nudist. All right. Well, that's a good answer. Noah? Or Nancy? Or Nancy? So, I would go with the burqa. The burqa? The burqa. Huh. Wait, I'll tell you why. She's shaking her head. Just so you know. Yeah. Your mistress is shaking her head. Because, and she's probably shaking her head because she probably knows why. Because in my mind, like that would turn into something kinky. Like it just would. Like something about being, being kept like that against my will would be like, oh my God, it would blow my mind. I kind of like that answer. That's like the best answer I've got. That's the best answer, yeah. All right. So, Noah, nudist for the rest of your life or covered head to toe in a burqa for the rest of your life? I mean, being a nudist, it could be kind of cold depending on where you're at. That's another good point. But if you can, But do you really have to worry about that? If you have control climate where you're at, I mean, I guess nudist. Nudist? Yeah. All right. Take off your clothes right now. I'm kidding. Hmm. Ladies, prepare. And he's a hetero. I'm the straight host, by the way. The question. The straight male host. Straight male. You two aren't straight. Well, I feel like I should give them some fair warning. Prepare for my question, okay? Noah, you too. Preparation age. Would you ladies rather walk around. And Noah. And Noah, rather walk around for the rest of your life, completely exposed muscle, no skin, no epidermis, just exposed muscle tendons, everything, or festering pustules all over your body. Oh, fuck. I love your look right now. Yeah. That's why I ask it for that look. Let's get real. Number one, your large, the largest organ of your body is your skin. And We've killed her, people. I didn't mean to kill her. Without it, you die. So I guess I just take pustules, and then I go to my awesome doctor and get it taken care of. That's fair. Yeah, that's true. I never said you couldn't. And then I turn it into a look. I mean, they always, they always fester, and they always are puss, and they're always like pusty, but you can, I mean, get treatments more. I didn't specify that. Yeah. I guess you could. I took oatmeal baths. I guess you could, but they're always there. Like they're a boom, festering pustules. Yeah. Noah. Or Nancy. Or Nancy. I'll let Nancy think on this one, man. Yeah, I need to think on this one. That's so awkward. Duh. Jeez. The nature of the question. I guess to be different and switch it up, I'd go with being all mud. I'm muscular. It was very white. Just all skin. Just no skin, almost. Just a big old sack of meat. Yeah. Some people like meat. Okay. All right. Nancy. I saw that scene in Buffy, by the way. Where she's just laid. Yeah, man. Bored now. Oh my God. So I'm really trying to get over like the, like freaking me out. Cause like the, like the exposed muscles and all that shit. Like, oh my God, imagine all of the germs and all of the infections that you are putting in your stomach. Well, I didn't say like, your skin is exposed, but I mean, you could do whatever you want. You can put clothes on that, but like you're just a big old thing of muscles. You'd be dead. Let's just put some logic in this. You'd be dead. There's no logic in my awkward question. If that was true, I would have asked a different question. Okay. I'll totally take, I'll take the no skin. I'll take that. The no skin. All right. Now that we're done with our questions. Well, we're done with all impact and kinky play then. Cause you have no skin. That's a. It's Mary Fuck Kill. It's Mary Fuck Kill. It's Mary Fuck Kill. We don't have a sound bite for that. Oh my God. You guys, you have to hear the game that I made up. I'll have a Wil Wheaton. Without Cool Whip. What was the game, Nancy? It's Mary Fuck and Kill some people, people. What was our, what was the alternative game? Beat. It was, it was, it was Fuck, Beat, Kill. Was it? No, no, no, no. It was Beat, Meat, or what was the other one? Feet. No, no, no. Clint Tarantino, always in the feet. column. Sheet? Neat. Beat, meet, or eat? Beat, meet, or eat? Who would you beat? Who would you meet? Who would you eat? Beat, meet, or eat? Oh. Fantastic. We might have to try that at a different time. We might have to try that on. But right now, we're playing Merry Fuck Game. I'm going to switch it up. I'm going to go with Jeff first. Me first. Okay, so I have Bilbo, Thorin Oakenshield, and Old Hobbit? Seriously? I didn't know his name. Okay, so I'm going to Who's the Old Hobbit? Which one? They're all Old Hobbits. No. Who's the Old Hobbit? The gray one. Was he a hobbit or a dwarf? Oh, he's a dwarf. He's a dwarf. He's a dwarf. Oh my God. You can't tell the difference between a hobbit and a dwarf? I love this man now. I know the difference. The picture was blurry. It was hard to tell. Okay, so I'm going to kill the dwarf. The old dwarf? The old dwarf. You said that so authoritative. Because Thorin Thorin is dwarf too. By the way, for all the listeners at home, Stacey is like in tears right now. That is how much she is embarrassed of her geek fail. She's a puddle. I'm so sorry. I'm going to marry Bilbo because it is Martin Freeman. Fuck you. And then I'm going to fuck Thorin Oakenshield. Okay. Don't you ever touch I agree. He's a total warrior. He's probably awesome in bed. And of course you want to marry Bilbo. He's totally going to keep the house clean. Right. And he's someone that I would want to bring home to mother if my mother actually accepted Don't touch Martin. Don't touch Martin. I'll kill you. You know my theory. Which Bilbo? Because there's Martin Freeman. No. Martin Freeman. No. I love Martin Freeman. I didn't specify. I'll take him from Sherlock. I'll do a space in Sherlock. My thinking was that if you ever get tired of him, you can just send him on a journey. Is he? Dude, Benedict Cumberbatch is so gay. I know. I mean, is he out though? No, he's not. But let's not ruin the fantasy because it works for a lot of masturbation scenes I have going on. I'm okay with them getting together. I mean, I also heard he's a douche bag, but I don't care. And sexy allergy. All right. Sexy allergy. Stacey. I got Lando. Billy Dee. I got Data and I got Spider-Man. Black. Black. An android. I think android sex would be fun, so I'm going to fuck him. But he can't emotionalize. I don't give a shit. It's sex. You're fucking. Yeah. It's like a sex machine. A dildo can't emotionalize. I'm going to kill. My dildo loves me. I'm going to kill Billy Dee. I'm fucking him. I'm sorry. He doesn't do it for me. Black. I respect him. Black. And I'm going to marry Spider-Man. Spider-Man? Okay. Not black. I just think. It depends which Spider-Man. Exactly. Andrew Garfield. Look, we're not. I will trade you Andrew Garfield for Michael Friedman. We can add that in. Done. Okay. I like this transaction. Barter your mate. I'm kind of torn on which side I would go. Can I just date him with Stone? Like, can that happen? I'd go for the younger. Sorry. Andrew Garfield. Nathan, who'd you get? Um. I got the TIE Fighter, which I don't know how you fuck or whatever, but, you know, I'm going to try. So, I got TIE Fighter, The Fly, and James Bond. Which fly? Also not specified. Yeah, which fly? I'm going to say 1950s Fly. I'm going to get. Yeah, 1950s. And I'm going to go. Tell me which James Bond. No. No. No. No. Because Daniel Craig is not James Bond. Which James Bond? I'm going to go Sean Connery. I was going to go with Timothy Dalton. I was going to go with Pierce Brosnan. Well, I was going with Timothy Dalton because he's the gay one. Okay, go with Timothy Dalton. He's the gay one of the bunch. All right. So, let's. All right. Here's my plan. I'm going to kill The Fly because, I mean, no. The fly sex. The fly flies are the worst. No. I'm going to. I mean, I hate insects. Although you have lubrication all the time. He just has to throw up on your penis. If you think I'm germophobic, I'm also kind of insectophobic. He can vomit on you during sex. The Fly. Oh, my God. And then I'm going to fuck The TIE Fighter because, I mean, like, dead on, it just kind of looks like that. And then I'm going to marry. I'm going to marry James Bond. Okay. Okay. Gay. Black. Gay. Mexican. This is a difficult one. Political. Okay. I'm going to go. I'm going to go with mistress. Jews. I'm Googling one of the names because I don't fucking know who it is. I have pictures. We Google all the time. I got, you know, Jarl. Dr. David Bowman. Bowman? Who the fuck is this? Bowman? I don't know who that is. Who is that? Police robot. So tell me who the middle guy is. I'm going to show you a picture. I assume it's Superman's. And which one? Yeah, which one? Oh. We're talking about the new Man of Steel one or we're talking about the 1980s one? Actually, there's three. There's Terrence Stamp from Smallville. Okay. I didn't do the TV thing. Oh, he's from 2001 Space Odyssey. He's Dave. Oh, yeah. 2001. That's who he is. He's Dave. In 2001. Yeah, so which Jarl? Which one? Oh. Oh, that's a good question. Do we go for Russell Crowe or? Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe, Marlon Brando. Or who was the one who was in the letter? Terrence Stamp was in Smallville. No, but who was the one in the Ralph version? The Ralph version? Ralph version. I think we mostly all agreed Russell Crowe. Let's go with Russell Crowe. We're going to go with Russell Crowe? We're going to go with Russell Crowe. It was Marlon Brando. So Jarl, Dr. David Bowman, this thing, whatever, and police robot. So this seems pretty good. It's pretty obvious that I would fuck the police robot. Sure, why not? Because, you know, it would be like a sex machine. Sex machine. I'd marry Jarl. And I'd kill whatever the fuck this thing is. Sounds good. You'd kill Dave. That's okay, he does it. And I'd marry the villain. If you haven't seen 2001 Space Odyssey, I'm sorry I spoiled that. It's been a long time. If you like fucking robots, you would love Hal. No, he's kind of, you know, he needs a better voice. Oh, I don't know. He can be updated. Um, Frank, who'd you get? I got Alex DeLarge from Clockwork Orange, Iron Man, and Lieutenant Gay Ellis from UFO. So, I don't know if I want to fuck Alex DeLarge. Yes, you do. it would be really, really, really awesome, and then I'd be dead. Yeah, and you would have milk on you, and you'd be raped. That I'm gay is not really a selling point. But his free will was taken away from him, so you could do with that whatever you'd like. I guess, yeah, I'm kind of into veg play. Um, all right. Sleeping beauty play. I'll fuck Alex DeLarge. The watermelon's away from him. That's another fetish I don't get, his sleeping beauty thing. I don't know. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Before I actually decide this again, is Iron Man the suit or the man? And which one? The suit. Oh, a suit. The suit. Oh, God. Because then it would have said Tony Stark. Dude, you should marry a suit. Come on. Then I'm going to kill Alex DeLarge because I want to fuck the Iron Man suit because then I could, come on, then I'd be a cyborg. But all the technology wouldn't be a good marriage. No, because I want to marry Lieutenant Gay Ellis because look at that purple wig. I'm just saying, let's think about this Iron Man thing. Plus his name is gay. Because Iron Man's OS is Jarvis, and that means she would marry Jarvis, which kind of sounds awesome. Right? I think that would be better. I think you made a poor choice, but okay. All right, well. He's got a poor choice. He's got a poor choice. He makes poor choices. We've always accepted his poor choices before. We've got to choose, we've got to give Nancy some people to marry, fuck, or kill. I know. Oh, womp, womp. Okay, hand me that magazine. I'll be in the studio. Hand me that magazine right there. Boom, okay. So, I'm sorry. Wait, while you're thinking, can you have somebody else say? Yeah. Noah. Noah, why don't you say it? Noah. Who do you want to say who you're going? All right, so I got Travis Bickle, the taxi driver, the Joker. Which Joker? That wasn't told. It's actually Jack Nicholson. Oh, it's the Jack Nicholson, yeah. Cool. All right, and Princess Leia. So, I guess I would probably kill Travis Bickle because there's enough taxi drivers, let's face it, and I would probably- And he might have some issues. Oh, yeah, just might. Just might. Yeah. And I'd probably fuck the Joker because that'd be chaotic and, you know, he's an agent of chaos. Right. And I'd have to marry Princess Leia. I mean, come on. Princess Leia. All right. Plus, if you fuck the Joker, he would be smiling the entire time. That's true. You just think you're doing good. You would, yeah. Just bend him over. It would be the ultimate faked orgasm. Just bend him over. That's true. Okay, I've got Nancy's. Okay. So, your choices are Dr. Henry Jones, Sean Connery, so Dr. Henry Jones Sr., Darth Vader, or General Zod. Whoa. I... I... Hold on, let me move away. Let me do an appropriate thing. Oh. I feel like you might like Zod because he'll make you new. Okay, I... You know what? I'd probably have to fuck Sean Connery. Yeah, good choice. Why not? It's Sean Connery. And then... And then... Wait, who was my other choice? Darth Vader or General Zod. I'd kill Darth Vader. Aww. What's wrong with you? Like killing me on Darth Boots. I would marry him. He's a ruler of an entire... Because he just needs a little bit of love? Sure. He's got a good... My cookies change his life. He's not a ruler. He serves the emperor. But I'm saying, he's got a good heart. He's got a good heart. He has a great type in that machine of his. Like, you know, a machine, a mechanical... He's also got a burnt-up penis. I'm just... I mean... Yeah, but he's got all those attachments. We actually don't know if he still has a penis. Oh, that's true. We don't know. We don't know. Oh, bionic penis. Bionic penis. I'm just saying. They have the power... Or whatever pleases you. Well, she said she'd kill him. And so she'd marry General Zod? Okay. It actually makes sense. It makes sense. It makes sense. I'd marry General Zod, too. Why not? I don't have a problem with this game because I believe in divorce. My mother's been married seven times. I know about divorce. So my three choices are General Ursus from Planet of the Apes, Black Widow, and Captain Dallas. Okay, so here's... She's listening. Let's talk right now. Tom Skerritt back in the day was not a bad-looking dude. So this is going to take... Kind of creepy, but yeah. Right, I mean, like, he wasn't like... Again, great bone structure. Right, wasn't like the worst-looking dude in the world. I don't want to sleep with a gorilla whose only mindset is to, like, you know, kill. And gorillas actually have very small penises. Yeah, and I feel like it'd be like... But you could do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel. You mean... Oh, man. You're a quick wimp. You quit it today, Jeff. You quit with it. Also, I imagine that sleeping or having sex with a gorilla would be kind of on the same level of having sex with, like, the Hulk. It'd just be all pure muscle and pain and owl and nonsense. Then why does it sound bad? I don't know, because I don't want to be quartered. If you did it, like, you don't know it. You don't want to be cleaved by a cock. If you do it like they do on the Discovery Channel, don't you, like, have to fuck the Duck Dynasty people nowadays? So, so... So I'm good. I want to fuck with a long-ass beard. Can I answer my question, please? Please. I mean, I guess. I'm killing the gorilla. I'm killing him. I'm going to sleep with Scarlett Johansson because Scarlett Johansson? I would sleep with Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett Johansson? I would sleep with Scarlett Johansson. And she's a black widow, and that bitch is ninja skills craftiness. So I'm going to go with that. And I think I would marry Captain Dallas because I don't... I'd like to be married to Tom Skerritt. He seems like a delightful human being. Oh, would you? Oh, plus, like, if I ever get tired of him again, I could just send him off into space and hope an alien kills him. That's such a great marriage. I know. This is how all my marriage... This is how all my marriage plays out in this game. It's expendability. I just want to say that I'm terribly disappointed there was not a single Firefly nor Doctor Who reference in this. There was... I know. I'm disappointed. Because we did it from Geek Magazine. Quick, let's get rid of the last minute. Random choices. Random choices. Quick, let's get rid of the last minute. Let's get rid of the last minute. Oh, can we do the hammer is my penis just once, just once, just once, just once? Okay. I'm going to grip. Ready? Yeah, I'm gripping. Are you ready for it? I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. Hammer is my penis. All right. So, guys... But you can't throw it. No, you can't throw the penis. I love Doctor Who. We are out of time, unfortunately. I wish I could talk to these ladies, like, all day. They're delightful. They're deliciously delightful. Seriously, an hour already went by? Yeah. A little, yeah. A little more. So, you guys can listen to their show on skidrowstudios.com or you guys are on iTunes, too, yeah? Yeah. And on iTunes, Love Bite, every Sunday, 3 to 4. Specific time. Specific time. Please check out all our various pages, Awkward Conversations on Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest. Follow us on Twitter on Awkward Convo Pod. Check out our YouTube page. There'll be content up there soon. The movie of our month is Dark Crystal. That's awesome! Yeah. You can listen to us every Saturday, 12 to 1 on Skid Row. And check us out on iTunes. Subscribe, rate us. That's how we get featured. That's how we go up in the ranks. And thank you all for very... Oh, our sponsors? Oh, our sponsors. Thank you to Rabble Rouser Industries, providing all your geek couture needs. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you again so much to Discovery Science Center for giving us the tickets for the Indiana Jones giveaway. And... That's it. Tune in next week with our first new host hosting, Babalu from Food Truck Race. Race and Cookie Stash. He will be making us waffles. That's going to be Nathan. Awesome cookies. So yeah, we're going to have waffles on the air. I'd like to thank Nicholas for being an awesome producer as usual. Thank you, guys. And thank you for... You know, thank you for... You know, thank you for... You know, thank you for... You know, thank you for... You know, thank you for... in the party. So thank you guys. Have an awkward weekend and we will see you next week. Bye. Bye.