Dating advice, car accident, and nudist audition tape

A man we passed just tried to stare me down And when I looked at you, you looked at the ground I don't know who he is, but I think that you do Dadgummit, who is he and what is he to you? I had something in my heart and in your eyes Tells me he's not someone just passing by And when you cleared your throat, was that your cue? Dadgummit, who is he and what is he to you? Now when I ask for some of you and me I get confused and I keep coming up with dreams Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Is that right, boy, is that right? Don't you really think the love Are all you wish Before you wreck your old home Be certain of the news That's coming up Who is he and what is he to you That's coming up Who is he and what is he to you That's coming up Who is he and what is he to you That's coming up Welcome to Is Radio Time. My name is Ricky Skith. I am your host. I want to thank you for joining us today. I want to thank you for joining us today. I know there's been a lot of rumors out there about whether or not this show About 18 and 25 I live And, you know I'll say good start. Yeah, thank you very much. Give it up for DJ Dumb Shit. Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo. Adrian. Yeah. Whether or not the show's going to continue, Whether or not the show's going to continue, Well, dag nabbit, we're here, Well, dag nabbit, we're here, and we're still going to continue it. and we're still going to continue it. Even though we had some people set up for today, Even though we had some people set up for today, we had some guests. We were going to have these pranksters that are on the YouTube. But apparently they pranked us and... I know. They got us. Yeah, they got us good. They said they're going to come do the show and they didn't show up. And they didn't even call or anything. They didn't even answer. I mean, we called them about how many times today? I mean, we called them about how many times today? Once. Oh, well. Oh, well. And I blame the person who invited them. I have to blame that person. No, I texted them and then they answered back, but... Dare I ask who invited them? He's sitting to your left. Oh, Adrian. What? I... Hey, Rick postponed on them like at least three times. And you called once. You are so tenacious. I texted them too. I was like, Hey, you guys are going to come from 6 to 8. And he was like, What time again? And I was like, 6 to 8. And then they never answered. They were probably like, Text message. This is so impersonal and so professional. He should have called us. Yeah. So they're not here. Just kidding, Adrian. And that, you know, that screws things up. You don't need anybody other than Adrian. Come on. I know. We got stories for you, Nikki. You're going to have a blast today. I get to meet funky people on Omegle. I mean, this could be so much fun. Oh, we're doing a new... Yeah, we got to do the Omegle sessions. We're also doing a... We're introducing a lot of new segments here today. One of the segments is Craigslist ads. Oh, cool. And, you know, I'm looking for work a lot of times in Craigslist and I find things. I find things that are very disturbing. You find things? I find things that are very disturbing. And you're looking for yabs? I'm looking for jobs. Yeah. And for example... They're yabs. For example, here's one actress to work. No. Well, I'll get them. I'll get them. I have all these other ones. Another thing we wanted to do is Nikki's... Yeah. Nikki's... What do we call it? Nikki's... Nikki at night. Nikki at night. And basically that segment is about Nikki going out on dates with guys and getting advice from us. And we're going to help Nikki out with that. You're going to help me find true love away from the comedy world. Yeah. And that's possible. I hope so. That's actually much better. Is it? Yeah. I think you're hooking up with too many comedians. That might be a... That's not true. I think you like comedians. And comedians are great. I think you're a comedian. And comedians are great, but try and find one that's not on stage. How was I hooking up with them? I was dating. Okay. Dating. Dating. Okay. So that's a great way to start the show. Okay. Okay. Because I had a girl one time, she said we were dating. Uh-huh. And so I thought that was just having sex. That is not dating. That's not? I don't think so. Because... Exactly. Okay. Exactly. So dating is just such a gray title. Right. You know? And so we went into a club one time and she introduced me to a guy. And I was like, what? We were just having sex, girl. Yeah, right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right And it just got really weird because of that. So when we got back to the house, I had a conversation with her. Oh, Adrian, I hate you. And I said to her, I broke out my guitar. And I said, girl, we're only screwing. What does it mean when we're dating? I don't get it. Right? Well, I don't know. The traditional concept of dating, I guess, would be you hit up the girl and you say, let's go to dinner. I'll pick you up. I'll even bring you back home. You don't have to sleep with me tonight. But that doesn't exist anymore. That was the 80s. Well, I never did that. Ever? I didn't do that. I never took her out to dinner. Oh, my God. I didn't do that. I didn't do that. Oh, my God. I didn't do that. I didn't do none of that. Then you weren't dating, I guess. Exactly. Exactly. And so we were just, you know, having a good time boning down. Yeah. Right? Boning down. Doing the boner. This is my brouhaha. And so I'm trying to figure out, like, what segment is this that we have music playing all the time? Are you trying to be Rob? I know, right? Because you're, like, doing what Rob does. You're trying to be me. I'm the sound guy, dude. Remember that. Okay, but you're doing what Rob was doing, but you're doing it worse. Oh, God. He's that annoying little, like, keyboard person in a comedy show that, right? In the middle of your tag. It's like... Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm like, don't do that. Yeah, okay. You see, what he's doing is he's testing out all these sounds now. I tell him to do it on his own time. Nikki, I tell him to do it on his own time. Right. And he does it all now during the show. That's a big no-no. Now, you see, if you'd been doing your job right and done that on your own time and called the guests like you were supposed to... I did call them. You wouldn't be in this position right now. Exactly. Dick! Spreckenzie Dick! Okay. See, that's homework done from before, and, you know, you bring it out... This is when we need the, I'm going to fill a pillowcase. Oh, now you're going to tell me what I put a sound in. Exactly. I agree with you on that one. He's always on a different page. You know your sounds and how they relate. And I'll talk to you later about... I'm going to tell you a little story about a different page this guy's on. Okay. Fuck you, Dale! Fuck you! No, I will tell you, though, that... Okay, one comedian that I did supposedly date, the first date that we went on, it was horrible because he... Okay, I met him at his place. We drove. We were going to go to dinner. We end up going to a comedy show that he's doing. Yeah, I think you told me that this is good. Because he had a spot. He had a spot. Somebody give him a spot! Somebody give him a spot! Somebody give him a spot! So, we literally go down to the comedy club, and I hadn't dated for like two years, okay? Okay. I'd taken a huge break because I was serious about my career, and I wanted to focus. Right. But as we're pulling up and walking up to the comedy club, I started getting super nervous because I was like, what if there's another guy comedian that's asked me out that I've said no to, and I'm on a date with this dude? Uh-huh. And it happened. It did, huh? Yeah. And then what happened? Well, the dude was holding my hand, and I'm holding a beard. Why are you holding hands in a comedy club? You can't do that. Because he was a gentleman. We were way in the back. But so this other comedian comes right in between. He's like, hey, Nicky, what's up? Didn't know you were on this show tonight. I was like, I'm not on this show. Is this an asshole move? If I tell a girl, like, when walking into a comedy club, no holding hands here. No, not at all. Okay, good, good. Well, I understand that because I'm in your profession, but if I was the girl that you were dating and I was high maintenance and needy. You'd be like, excuse me? I'd be like, you just want all the other girls to think that you're not here with me. That way you can get their numbers too, and this is so unfair. I don't want to have sex with you anymore. Oh, my God. Is that like an international speech that women? Women do. It's like the same thing I've heard before. This is me imitating my friends. I don't do this. I've dated some of your friends. Oh, damn you. So I'm back at the house with the girl. Okay. And I want to talk about this dating thing. So I ask her just like, you know, hey, before we go in the room and bone, I want to ask you a question. You know, what is this dating? Like you said, what's the definition of dating? Okay, I wasn't being a jerk. I was like, hey, just really good. What's your definition of dating? And then she kind of went. I don't know. Yeah. And then I said, exactly. Then why are we going to use that word dating? And why would I go around introducing you as somebody that I'm having something serious with? This is in this apartment only. Like we don't want to go around telling people. That would be funny if you were like, just let you know I'm dating several people right now. Okay. Well, that's okay. Hold on a second. That's interesting. We were talking about this, weren't we? Oh, my God. Okay. We were talking about this. And I ended up ending the dating relationship. Quote unquote. And the way I did it was, tell me if this is an asshole move. Okay. The way I did it was I said, look, it's not you. It's the fact that I'm seeing a bunch of women and I'm putting you in that position and I don't think you deserve it. No, I don't think that's an asshole move. Because if she wants something more serious than you, you're doing her a favor. Right, right. I'm just cutting it, you know, right at the beginning. Right. I mean, we all know your dad and what a Casanova he was. It's not like Rick Ischietta is going to just like back off for one chick. Mm-hmm. So that's what I told her. I said, you know, I'm just seeing a bunch of other people. And then it became a big joke. See, sound person, this is when you needed like David Lee Ross. I'm just a gigolo. Everywhere I go, people know that. Now you want me to get into it now. Adrian's young. It's okay. It's okay. Well, I have. I have a funny story about Adrian because we're making this little movie right now. We're making this little documentary for my brother-in-law. It's his 50th birthday. I was going to say, I don't need to know what you two do together when you're dating. Yeah. We don't. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where that comes from. Because you said you're making a movie. Oh. Your sound bites are better. And so we're making this little movie, right? Okay. My brother-in-law is turning 50. So we're interviewing. We're interviewing family. Oh, yeah. This is why we missed our movie. Yeah. Date, not date. We're interviewing family. Yeah, the movie Date, not Date. Date, not Date. Yeah. We'll talk about that later. You two little rascals. Sheesh. And so we are filming this thing and we're driving to my brother-in-law's place and we're talking about the movie. Okay. And you have to understand that his mom's going to be there. Oh, really? His mom's going to be there. It's going to be so. I have to make the movie G to PG. I can't cross the line. But would you do the same thing with the set? Because there's kids. Oh, there's kids. Okay, nevermind. It's kids. It's family thing. Okay. So I understand. So we're preparing for that. And that's easier. Right. Because then you don't have to do so much. And so there's a scene where the kid goes, oh, my dad, I like my dad because he's responsible. He gets things done. Okay. So I tell Adrian, okay, what I want is I want to get a clipboard. Okay. And I want it like a to do list. And I want, you know, because I have the oldest kid playing the dad. Oh, that's cute. And so we have the oldest kid playing the dad. And then I want him like, you know, check off, check off. He gets things done. Right. Okay. Adrian Scorsese's version over here. Hold on. Hold on. Adrian De Palma. Okay. Adrian. De Palma. Yeah. Okay. Go. Okay. Quentin. Quentin. Hey, I'm just opening up the show with a Jackie Brown soundtrack. Hey, when he says he gets things done, how about we have him break out a gun and then kill somebody and then be like, I get things done. Are you serious? I'm gonna make him an awful gun reviewer. You're Adrian Tarantino. I'm like, you're out of your mind. We can't do... They don't want guns. They don't want violence. It's like now I go... I go now I see Adrian sitting in the... Hey, I'm a cop. Hey, I'm a cop. Hey, I'm a cop. Hey, I'm a cop. Hey, I'm a cop. Hey, I'm a cop. You're out of your mind. We can't do... They don't want guns. They don't want violins. It's like... I go... Now I see Adrian sitting in the editing room going like... Adrian's that director sitting in the studio going... Nothing shocks kids these days, okay? Yeah, exactly. Nothing shocks them. Exactly. How about I run around naked? How about I run around naked? Do you think that'll shock people? oh my god that's so shocking what if he just runs in with a machete you want to show the footage yeah I kind of want to see this he's in this new reality something it's a secret it's got to be undercover you can't talk about it with people it's very hush hush no no no seriously it's very hush hush web series hey it's contract ok we need to get him off of me I know he's meeting some weird people so this guy convinced him to play a character I'm not going to get into it to play a character who's a nudist Adrian and they want him to run around naked I'm just joking he's going to have to run around naked oh watch it now I'm not the one wearing sparkly nikes today these kids are getting all cute he's got sparkly nikes on can we stick his foot up to the camera oh my god yeah he's got these sparkly nikes yeah take one shoe off they're white shoes and the nike check has glitter it's glitter it's glitter where do you find glitter nikes now she's turning on you you were like oh I love Nikki because she's like part of my team and she doesn't make fun of me like Rob and Rick and Alexis I do love Adrian and now she's turning on you he's just being a little butt headed today well first of all he cancelled our movie undate to make this movie that I'm about to watch which I'm not mad at I think you have a wonderful family I love your dad he's so cool oh my dad's cool yeah my dad's cool my brothers are cool just wait until you get to meet my oldest brother I have to take the headphone off I have one ear off okay so you're making her watch the whole thing what is it like a 15 minute thing this is exactly what our listeners want to see me do right now I know exactly so while you're listening to that you watch that stuff I'll talk about something else that we have going on right now I'll talk about something else that we have going on right now I'm still listening I did X Games this weekend oh did you really I'm so jealous right now I got to go to X Games I met some champion rally racers Patrick Sandell and Tomas Tomas Hekinen I had to pronounce his name I had to keep on pronouncing his name what's up Rick you couldn't give me a spot on the guest list you didn't want a spot no I can't it's with a company I can't I can't mention their name but it rhymes with Lord so it's an automobile company that's cool I can't pronounce her name see if you want to help me with my dating you should just brought me to the X Games there's lots of 6 foot 2 and over white guys there oh yeah you would have loved it there you would have loved it Nikki what is your obsession with tall white dudes genetics genetics I still I don't get it I don't want to have to pay for college scholarships I told you this good credit and all that stuff rich family no not rich you know my sister scored really yeah my younger sister she scored how tall he's kind of how tall is Hugh Hugh yeah he's about my size now yeah he's a little bit tall yeah he's not he's not that short he's a little bit taller than us what's what's that actor's name who replaced Charlie Sheen Charlie Steen Charlie Steen Charlie Steen Charlie Sheen on two men and a baby the hell Ashton Kutcher Ashton Kutcher okay he kind of looks like a baby he kind of looks like a baby he looks like him people say he looks like him well she did score okay and he has a very great family really yeah the parents who were in the Air Force retired very well off he's starting his own company that's awesome you know so he's doing some good stuff so that's what you're looking for right yeah except usually the white parents don't like the Latinas yes they don't I mean even every serious boyfriend that I've had since high school through college because I don't have serious ones anymore because I'm an adult right um none of those moms really really liked me and I was a good girlfriend it's just like this Latina is trying to take our baby away from us it's not like I'm not trying to get knocked up yet I swear yeah I don't know I don't know what that is they just think we're gonna ruin them don't take Chester leave Chester here oh my god that's not right Brian's gotta stay have you met any white boy named Chester in your entire life yes Linkin Park hello please hello Linkin Park there you go Chester Chester Chester the Molester okay Chester the Molester so I'm working the X Games okay that's um Zack and Mary right hey nice hey I like those I like those now I know which one yeah they're good those are from Trader Joe's I brought the whole studio Pirates booty you're missing out these are freaking great I love these you're missing out on some booty some good ass in this studio this is some pirate booty right here god that's white boy booty right there white aged white cheddar we're having a really kickback show today if you're joining us if you're here with us right now you want to call in call in 1-800-893 you can give me dating advice too 9562 we'll be giving Nikki here some dating advice and having some Pirates booty and I'm looking at Adrian's farmer's tan yeah farmer's tan yeah his farmer tan his farmer tan alright I'm doing the X game he's showing her the video now he can't wait till the break what is this like the director's cut you're explaining what you did first or what no it's like an audition tape oh yeah oh my god yes you had to film him doing no I didn't do none of that I just filmed him interview talking to the okay who filmed you doing push-ups and jumping jacks naked his boyfriend his boyfriend my roommate my roommate your roommate's getting a little too excited my roommate yeah so I'm not doing that Adrian this is actually pretty hilarious I wish we could put this on our website my roommate alright so well anyway for yeah those that are listening I'm watching Adrian naked wearing a backpack doing everyday activities naked including you know he does P90X in his living room apparently so somebody convinced him to do this this is awesome Adrian yeah yeah doesn't take much clothing got good muscle tone ladies the wardrobe department loves him oh yeah just a little powder yeah just a little powder just a little powder give her the shine just straight to makeup straight to makeup can we make that thing look bigger I love that when they do the makeup break and they're like makeup what did you get on Omegle I saw your face did you get a penis yeah I got a dick oh that's gross oh and I got an ugly angry person right there oh my god looking character if some of you don't know we have Adrian here on Omegle every Tuesday and what he's doing is Omegle's kind of like chat roulette and so he's going on and on and on on Omegle and he finds people and has them call in so he's gonna try and get somebody to call in today on Omegle that is constantly happening did you like that video that he showed you I did you did I think that'll get him a lot of people that will undate him there you go there you go thank you well no it's talking about hooking up we're calling it undating yeah there you go okay well we'll see how it goes we'll see how it goes that nudist career goes for him hopefully he doesn't get typecasted you know then every movie he does he has to be naked I know you're always gonna have to shave your balls is that like considered doing porn though if you're naked in a like is that considered no it has to be sexually related like you have to be having sex like you have to have your penis injected into something yeah when I was bartending down in Hermosa Beach about a year and a half ago we had a guy on our bartending staff that was in porn movies and he was like and it was so funny because a girl comes up to me and she's like oh my god he's a porn star and I was like he's in porn he's not a porn star like at what point do you become a porn star yeah I think it's when you get a thousand hits I don't know I have no idea I was trying to come up with the rules yeah I don't know what the rule is there and I don't know if I want to know I don't think I do either I don't know if I cause I might get tempted uh huh uh huh uh huh you needed a yab look how precious for those yabs I need a yab well anyways I got a yab I was hosting you got a yab I got a yab I got a shot I got a shot got a spot to host at X Games get the shot I got a shot to host X Games and I kind of screwed up a little oh really but nobody caught nobody caught on well now they know okay you know you know that wiener joke I do you got a wiener on your face well I would I really did that but nobody can tell what I was doing you know I was really messing around Rick Esqueda running his tags at the X Games no that wasn't at the X Games that was at like a real Mexican supermarket in La Puente I was really doing that and everybody speaks Spanish so when I said you got a wiener on your face they weren't catching on just the people who spoke English were catching on well yesterday I mean over the weekend I'm at X Games and I'm supposed to be announcing a lot of things okay and we had on display a rally racer car that was there um um! uh dedicated to a ex dead rally racer oh that's really sweet okay so it was dedicated his name was Colin McRae and he was uh ex rally racer um legend and he passed away in 2006 I believe it was and so I didn't know this stuff okay I didn't know this stuff at all right and so I'm with my manager of the event I'm with my manager and I'm supposed to and I'm supposed to and my manager says um okay don't forget to announce that the guy's coming to sign at 5 o'clock ugh and you forgot no I remembered oh okay but I announced the dead guy oh no so so I'm out there going I'm out there going and don't forget to come at 5 o'clock cause uh Colin McRae will be here at 5 o'clock signing posters for you the fans oh my god the X Games fans Colin McRae will be here at 5 o'clock and his whole family just starts crying no no well nobody nobody is saying anything right nobody's saying anything and one lady just oh she saved me she comes up to me and she just goes um in spirit he'll be here in spirit and she goes uh you uh is there a Colin McRae like a young Colin McRae like a a new athlete Colin McRae oh my gosh and I was like and I look at her I go I don't know and she goes cause there's an older Colin McRae I go I don't know which one it is and he's deceased and she goes and the older one's dead and then I just I just kind of like really felt small right oh my god I felt I felt so bad and I and then and then she goes yeah if you look at the sticker on the car it shows the the dates of when he was born 1968 and when he died 2007 or 2006 and I look over and I see those dates just like oh no I'm so sorry imagine if he showed up imagine if he just showed up you should have been like well we're competing with Coachella for ratings we're gonna do a hologram he'll be here signing autographs with a hologram like two pack no so then I adapted I said yeah we're gonna have a seance here we got a Ouija board we're bringing Colin McRae oh my god for a seance a Ouija board his parents are like we're Baptist we're Christian we don't believe in him oh my god just kidding so those are the things that I go through in these events and and I'm not given the proper information at the beginning I'm sorry I'm sure you did great though you're a good fit for X Games like you've got that real cool sports and out your voice it was a fun it was a fun event and we had this video booth and people we asked people to go in and make a video of themselves okay and tell their ultimate road trip story wow that's actually really fun okay and so I was trying to get people in there and it was fun you know how we're comedians right we can mess around with the crowd right we can do our crowd yeah and so as somebody as this couple was going in the girl comes out and so I'm on the mic and I'm like why don't you go in there with him why don't you do it as well I mean you're you're the girlfriend or is it the ultimate road trip bachelor party you know and the wife's not and the girlfriend's not involved at all and so like the guy was in the booth and the girl wasn't and so I was like kind of like hey what are you guys doing why isn't the girl in there get her in there did you just kick her out of the booth you don't want her in the video and then people were getting all in there so you were messing with them too I'm messing with everybody three girls would walk by and say come make a video three Charlie's Angels that's like the best real world confessional ever because you can like poke and jab and pick at them a little exactly oh man Rick you've worked for X Games yeah you're my hero yeah I know I am did I ever tell you you're my hero please keep singing that's so hot I like it when girls sing oh Jesus honestly I think it's such a hot thing anybody here am I the only one I'm not fucking to love you yeah I don't want to be undating you okay here's another thing I wanted to talk about you guys ever hear these scary ringtones yeah uh uh no what is this I'm at the ATM okay and there's this guy standing right next to me and all of a sudden I hear what's the one from Halloween the tone oh the and I'm just looking around me like shit like somebody's gonna stab me right now oh my god and that's the feeling I honestly felt like my stomach went to my throat no way really yeah I was like scared that song did that to me that's hilarious so I'm thinking like who has these scary ringtones you haven't seen these I would want to know what my mom's ringtone does to your body because it's that Sanford and Sons really your mom has it yes really every time her phone rings and it's her ringtone when you're calling in too oh okay so I have to listen to it okay okay! when I call her it's horrible what'd you do this weekend? oh not you Adrian Nikki I got in a car accident oh yeah okay Nikki got in a car accident oh you were waiting this whole time for that weren't you? he had it ready oh my gosh Nikki got in a car accident are you okay? yeah I got t-boned by a little Asian chick oh man no way really? no seriously in a 2012 Mercedes Benz C-Class that her daddy had just butter oh you're funny okay oh you're funny you're funny you're funny you're so funny Nikki you're so funny oh you're so funny oh okay I'm so sorry okay I'm so sorry oh I did not know okay you know Aiko right? yeah Aiko Tanaka Tanaka yeah I love Aiko Aiko's she's like yes yes oh yes she's a comedian for our audience out there Aiko Tanaka is a comedian very funny comedian a very cute girl who's the rockabilly chick though that's always with her with Don Bears that's always with her it's like next on our show we have the great Don Bears and then Aiko repeat her and she'll be like how was the talk how we have the talk Don Bears no I don't know who was the you've never seen the ding dong show at Comedy Store? no no I haven't seen oh my gosh you gotta go watch this and Aiko's on it? Aiko's on it? every single ding dong show it's Aiko and this hot rockabilly chick okay that's like she looks like what's Betty Lane or whatever she's up there with like the fishnet stockings and the red lipstick and Aiko's just in her cool little like gear and they stand next to each other and whatever Don tells them to say one girl say in a very sweet rockabilly voice and then Aiko coming in say it in Japanese that's coming up yeah that's coming up at the store I say Aiko speaking of Asians we got two Asians oh yeah I'm surrounded by them you got some Asians are they sticking tell them to call in call in it'd be great I want to talk to some Asians that'd be great hey what gosh darn it what they take every guy I swear every guy has an obsession for Asians what's wrong with that I don't know it's just because you guys know they're so really are they yeah they've got like a little tight studio apartment down there I think I've been with like one Asian now I look back I've been with one Asian and she wasn't like that she was one of the fat ones really yeah she was a little overweight how did you find like the one Asian chick I don't know I guess I could find Bigfoot too right along this monster she must have found she must have figured out in life that they make those special sushi rolls with all the sauce and all the extra shit on them so Adrian's Adrian's like cracking up he's like oh you know what I told him hey we're trying to get a guest because we have the guest bail so I'm like hey call Aiko give me a spot Aiko Tanaka call her up and so he gets her on the phone and he's like before he calls her he's like oh Rick you're so funny oh Rick you're so funny like how she talks to me at the club right and then all of a sudden he gets her on the phone and she goes I go it's Ricky Skiata she goes oh Rick you're so funny and then we were just no way we were just cracking up right there in the car man because she just did the whole thing and she's so cute oh my gosh I love talking to her oh my god so okay I'm talking to these girls and they go so where are you from and I go she goes Canada and I go can you hear us and I go I have to turn it off for now and she goes we heard what they were saying about Asians rude and I go we have a Japanese friend and then she cut off the conversation oh my gosh that's hilarious oh really they thought we were rude yeah alright I like that I like that you're so rude you're no longer funny you're no longer funny you're only rude you're not funny anymore play with your no fun you cheat you cheat is that what they told you when they crashed into you what's the matter you oh my god why are you getting away Mexican girl oh no the funny thing was I didn't you're not leaving me alone your car was a piece of junk anyway my car was a piece of junk anyway is that what she said you're a car piece of junk she said my Mercedes hit a 9800 a call I only give you $2000 for that $2000 my rear view mirror my rear view mirror worth more than your car this is so racist I feel so bad have you ever heard of this joke okay so Nelson Mandela gets a knock at his door oh my god and then it's this Asian dude and he has a bunch of car parts and he goes you sign you sign and then Nelson Mandela's like no you got the wrong dude and so then they later later passes by and he comes back to the house and he knocks the door and then he just goes you sign you sign and he goes sorry man you got the wrong person again the third time he comes around and he goes you sign you sign and he goes listen you obviously got the wrong person who do you have to send this to and then Nelson Mandela looks at him and then the guy looks at Nelson Mandela and he goes you not Nissan Mandela oh my god that's hilarious is it I guess yeah and you were the one that sent me that forwarded email 10 years ago I remember that joke because it was he has to blame it on me he has to blame it on me sure he has to blame it on Rick I have it here blame it on me I have it here blame it on uh uh uh uh uh uh blame it on uh uh uh uh uh uh blame it on uh uh uh uh uh uh Adrian yeah whatever dude whatever I have a short one for you what's a ninja's favorite drink wine no water what is this really happening yeah I made Adrian laugh I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm just gonna eat my pirate booty I'm so sorry I'm gonna eat some ass can I get some of that booty yeah thank you just try and like not munch by the microphone booty booty booty booty rockin' everywhere booty booty booty booty yeah that's a pretty good sound effect watch yeah yeah wanna record it for next time wanna record it for next time I've got a sound for next time hang on hang on we might as well get some new sounds for next week's episode so Nikki your car accident I wanna talk about your car accident what the hell happened what the hell happened well you know I was hooking up with a comedian and then going to work that's how it all starts no I'm joking that's how it all starts I was joking I told you stop dating the comedian I was joking I was joking okay so I'm driving to work I was gonna do how about the sushi bar in Hermosa Beach heading down Beverly Boulevard and you know like when you're when you're heading east on Beverly Boulevard maybe it was somebody from another sushi bar shut up that Asian she's like we're from Rock Sushi get it we're from Rock Sushi you're not getting to work you're not going to work today no sushi for you we destroy them we destroy I'm just kidding okay go on okay so anyway the two lanes on Beverly Boulevard going east are in rush hour traffic so they're backed up like stand still okay and you know how they always leave those little keep this intersection clear in case the lane going west needs to turn sure into a residential street yes well I'm like supposedly and coincidentally the only idiot car going west on Beverly that day so I'm just like open two lanes of traffic I'm like yeah I'm going to be at work on time I'm going all the way down 35 miles per hour this very unintelligent Asian chick which is an oxymoron decides she's going to take a chance and just speed through that keep clear section to try to get to the other side the residential side and right as she revs her engine and hits the gas and goes across I'm coming down and she's like she t-bones me on my driver's side door on your driver's side door on me okay yeah and you're going 35 how fast is she going oh she had to have been I mean she literally hit the gas because I heard this Mercedes engine on my side I just looked to the side for two seconds and poof so was she stopped or she was no she was coming just straight through just straight through now now when you when you got this okay when you saw that did you see it at the corner of your eye yeah it's so funny now because it was like slow motion I heard the engine like because that my radio was turned up so this was loud so loud yeah I mean it's a brand new C class I mean come on that's how the accident must have happened because she can see on her side but the Asian couldn't hey I was a college athlete I've got peripheral vision okay no but anyway I just remember seeing it for like Adrian's on an Asian role a split second and I remember it just hitting me so hard that my whole airbag just exploded right away oh really oh yeah and I had never been in an accident where an airbag did that 98 what year is your car 98 yeah and an airbag's not just air like there's powder that blows up in an airbag and like just it's hot and it's just it caused cuts all over my arm the cuts on my arm are actually from the airbag okay and then yeah so my when I got out of the car finally because once I like realized and it slowed down and it was done I could see my whole front end of my car just smoking because my whole left tire had exploded as well left right tire really yeah so I like literally unhooked my seatbelt I could barely move my neck was hurting and I like crawled my way out of the car because I didn't want it to explode how far did the car move like how it went all the way across the two lanes of traffic it was almost by the sidewalk by the time I got out of the car and I remember I just did you have your seatbelt on yes I did I had I still have it seatbelt first where let me see again I think it's gone now but yeah there's still a bruise it's almost gone but the seatbelt catches you here I didn't know you had such a nice belly it's bloated from the pain you're so funny you're so funny you're so funny you're so funny you're so funny no it was hilarious though because I'm lying on the ground that's not hilarious there's nothing hilarious about this there's nothing funny about this entire story afterwards afterwards baby sounds very very painful you're gonna find some comedic relief in this so I'm lying on the ground and the sun's like right in my face and all these people are just like hovering over me like take my information I saw everything I'll help you yeah yeah and then the ambulance people are like get away from her and I'm like no I need their info and they just they're just shooing people away and I have people tossing business cards at me like call me call me I'm like lawyers and stuff yeah I'm like why can't this be the way it is at the comedy clubs I know people just take my business card why can't you be bookers oh my gosh I had one lady that was like give her water I'm like I'm not thirsty it's fine she's like pouring it in my mouth she came out of nowhere I know I'm like don't put the neck brace on me that's so unattractive maybe she thought she was like on an Asian game show yeah maybe she was on an Asian game show the one that's kind of like wipe out treasure this is such a racist episode for our show it's not what's so racist about it I mean we can sit here all day long and make fun of Hispanics yeah I'm tired of making fun of Hispanics the worst part about it was they take me to Cedars-Sinai okay so I'm in the emergency room hallway in my hospital bed they park did you get T-boned by another Asian in a wheelchair worse they parked the old lady this time it was the old lady she just rolled up on me I didn't know what to do T-boned you in the hallways of the hospital T-boned it she just sounds so dirty there was one senile chick that they put right in front of me she's like I'm gonna be uncooperative I don't wanna be leave me alone I told you I'm gonna be uncooperative you're gonna regret it don't do anything you'll regret I promise you you'll be sorry I'm glad we know what Nikki's gonna sound like in 40 years from now ladies and gentlemen I'm a voiceover artist so just kidding no her grandmother was just here no there really was a senile and then the worst part was the girl next to me that they park in the emergency hallway with me her hospital bed was the Asian chick that hit me really oh yeah they park her right next to me and then they moved her down a little to kick her ass but I could hear her behind me in some girl comes in that I guess was with her the accident they took me first cause mine was more serious so the ambulance came took me and then another one took her and I didn't talk to any cops yet at all or any of my witnesses I knew it wasn't my fault but some girl comes in and I had to ask them to move me cause the girl's like don't worry we'll figure something out honey to you don't worry to her oh to her yeah I look at my doctor I'm like can you please move me please move me before I throw something at her honey she's Hispanic they don't have insurance she's like we'll figure it out she's probably on the phone with 10 of her cousins oh my god okay okay okay she was texting for a good deal on whatever she was doing today she was on Groupon do you think she was actually on her phone or anything distracting her that made her do the accident or I have no idea I think she just literally like a doofus thought oh I can just cut across four lanes of major traffic and and just not die I got a Mercedes it's a C class I got a Mercedes everybody get out of my way it's not a lease we own it you ever do this you ever do this like I like to do this on the freeway a lot when I see somebody in a Mercedes or a Porsche or you know just somebody who feels they need to speed like crazy yeah and I see them coming from behind you just kind of slow on your brain no like I'll be in the lane and they'll be going for the empty lane oh okay they'll be like man and they go for an empty lane and then I'll move into that empty lane oh you're such a dick and then I'll slow down I'll slow down and I'll make sure like I have a nice like synchronized line with all these cars right like on the freeway right and I'm on the fast lane oh you and you see like they're going crazy and I'm just like what just relax you're like relax Lambo relax yeah you're gonna get there man what kind of car is yours mine oh you're really gonna look up a picture of my shitty car no no I'm gonna look up a sound for your shitty car 98 Honda Accord Honda Accord Honda Accord oh yeah you know what the most degrading thing about the whole experience was so my personal injury lawyer is a friend and I'm in the hospital bed I have him on speakerphone he's like take pictures of everything in your neck brace any pictures of your arm so I'm taking selfies in the hospital really oh yeah oh yeah I'm like oh god this is so embarrassing the hospital staff is like walking by they had to have known what I was doing and it was just so embarrassing now here's a question for you yes was the other driver wearing a hoodie no oh she was actually a pretty Asian chick that would change things I know cause then you'd be racial profiling I know right that's not right that's not right or she was wearing all black with her face half covered all black if she was carrying some stars did she have a bomb strapped to her maybe I don't know that's so funny interesting stuff well I'm glad to see you know what I just wanna say thank you to your higher power yes thank you to what religion are you Catholic okay thank you to your non-practicing Catholic you gotta call the Pope up and thank him okay you gotta actually were you here last week yeah no I was here the episode when we did the Pope thing too so because they have a new gay church we had another episode though when they were bringing in the new Pope remember yeah we did and we had the Pope call in I was part of the crew by then I was the Pope hey I had somebody come up to me last night and want to go before me on a show oh no here we go okay can I can I go before you and then I said no I want that I've been waiting I've been here since the beginning of the show I want that spot and so he probably went in there and then no then we were like kind of like all these comedians standing outside and then he started just going off on me after you no going off on me like just mouthing off like saying oh okay so when we had our shows and you came by and you asked for a spot and you were like just five minutes we gave it to you oh oh and then you want to call us to call in for your radio show all the time fine are you serious and I thought he was joking around so I was kind of giving him time I'm not going to ask that person for a spot no more I was just waiting I was waiting I was like okay I think he's just joking around and he asked you and not the producer or the host he literally went to you he asked the producer and the host and they said well you got it back to big and then they kind of came together oh no and then put over the house how long were the spots that you were doing ten minutes spots he really couldn't wait ten fifteen minutes longer that's what I said you know because Rick was going to break down the crowd oh my favorite is when I'm on a show with like a friend or somebody that's like a little bigger than me they're like I got to get on right now I got stuff to do I got stuff to do I might have another show I got to go I got to go and then they end up moving me and put that person and then all of a sudden as soon as I'm done with my set they're just chilling out talking to other people or schmoozing I'm like oh you really had to go huh yeah yeah well after all said and done after like it was like two minutes of your face is so classic you just did that I was just like oh my god and so I go to take the spot take the spot I go to the producer I just kind of tap the producer on the arm and I say just give it to him just go like just give it to him because that was amazing I was shocked there was more to it but I just don't want he must be having a case that I'm not one day I don't know you know what it was I saw him talking to paparazzi I saw him talking you got some evidence you know what it was I saw him talking to some girls I saw him talking to three girls right when he got there you know what he wanted to undate them okay so you gotta give it to him I think he wanted to impress him it's okay because they probably hired an Asian that's gonna be t-boning you tomorrow oh no you're so freaky Nikki you're so freaky I'm so funny Nikki you're so funny I'm so funny I'd rather have a teabag than a t-bone yeah alright oh great now we're all doing sound effects what are you Rob? welcome to the is time sound effects show here we go here we go I don't think I'm Rob Rob thinks he can come in here and just all of a sudden do all the sound effects and just puts the music play some random hip hop artist all the time I'm sorry Rob is an actor I am a voiceover person I do not do acting okay oh I do I do I'm an actor after today after today after today okay okay okay here we go here's another one okay here's another one this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy he just drives me nuts first of all okay okay you know there's always a mystery is he gay or not what is it you know yeah and so I like Nikki how dare you I'm just kidding right okay so excuse me I'm just kidding so we're driving to and we talked about this last week I think but we're driving to a show and I've been making it a joke now it's hitting you know we're driving to a show and they're talking about porn and then Chris Dunham Chris Dunham goes yeah Asian porn I hate Asian porn and he goes right he goes Asian dicks are small what really and then we all just we all just like the car was quiet and then Rob looks at Chris and goes see what I mean see what I mean Rob goes oh my god this guy this guy you see what comes out of his mouth this guy this guy right that's one thing so today we're filming okay Mr. Actor Mr. Actor Actor Actor Mr. Actor he's a thespian not a lesbian he's a thespian okay well okay so so I need him to do this line okay the line the line was nobody eats Canadian bake okay it's kind of he has to lip sync it so I have somebody is this for a sketch or what's this for this is for that movie the 50 year old brother oh okay got it so there's somebody saying something all I need him to do is lip sync okay and so what's he like you hit it right on it okay so he's going he's the line is nobody eats Hawaiian pizza nobody likes Canadian nobody likes Canadian bacon and hang on hang on you have it okay and why is Canadian bacon on Hawaiian pizza it doesn't make sense okay and so there's a part where it goes and okay and he would keep doing this I was I was behind the camera and he would go nobody likes Hawaiian pizza and what he'd go like that he'd go and how did I literally hit the nail on the head and then I go I go okay cut cut okay Adrian you're really overselling this you really want to get an Oscar on this you don't have to do and you know just go people that like Hawaiian pizza and and Canadian bacon should be a Hawaiian pizza right oh my gosh and he did it and he did it again right after I told him he goes okay he just looked at me and he's like this too Nikki he's like this when I'm giving him directions oh my god he's like I was not like that you're such a diva I wasn't like that you're such a diva I wasn't like that and he would do this he would go alright Rick you're the director oh my what oh wow no way I did not do that I did not do that he is so bullshitting right now it's not even funny oh my god I can't even stand this right now you are fucking bullshitting this entire story that's fucking hilarious watch the video watch the video I watched it oh my gosh okay Christian Bale what oh seriously look okay so here this is what happened he told me that do you know who I am do you know who I am do you know who I am makeup you know what I gotta go to my my who are you who are you I gotta go to my motorhome you're nothing I'm Mo Green your salary's pocket change to me who eats Canadian who has Canadian bacon on Hawaiian pizza oh my god I don't and I just won the Oscar and oh my god I like Canadian bacon on my barbecue pizza on my Hawaiian why am I gonna have Canadian bacon on my Hawaiian pizza only for why why why you dirty scum you pedicure why why you tell all those guys I got my friend right here come on come eat Canadian bacon try getting like all characters oh my gosh oh wow okay so he just says you can put regular bacon on it but not Canadian bacon okay he says free range bacon put some fucking spam oh my god then it's Hawaiian brooch I no you know what's funny is I've never really even thought about that that is a really good premise look at you guys look at you guys explain yourself you wanna explain yourself explain Lucy explain explain we won't interrupt alright I was just sitting there and he told me do that and I said okay and then I fucked up again and then I did the same thing without even noticing I don't know why my brother doesn't want me to give 110% to everything I do I just wanted to make him happy and the Oscar for best performance apparently not you for Canadian bacon Nikki Bernal I love you Adrian I love you and I'm glad we could talk about this Kate because it was just like the pool game with Rob oh my gosh can I call out DeRocha for a second can I no I'm gonna call him out for a second cause I get in my car accident okay okay okay you're gonna call DeRocha out no no no I was just about to I wanna do it first I had a very I'm in post traumatic stress syndrome right now just kidding no so I told you me and Rob hung out like last Monday because we we're gonna do a show together and I'm gonna do a show together and it got cancelled so we went to Barney's Beanery had a good time we became buds or whatever so I get in my Adrian didn't like that but go on oh my god well he called me he said I was the shit by the end of the night who Rob yeah alright no no we had a good time wait you hung out with Rob so I get in my accident okay oh my god you guys are assholes you guys are assholes you hung out and you didn't tell me about it oh I'm sorry well you ditched me for the movie I hey okay we'll talk about that in a second oh my god okay so what's the thing what happened with Rob I'm waiting he was all concerned with the accident or whatever he was all concerned with my accident he asked me how I was feeling and what not and he was like no seriously though if you need a ride to any shows that we're doing or to the radio station I know you don't have a car right now you can just come with me you know I want you to feel better just if you need a ride we'll carpool down the studio so I hit him up today and I'm like hey so can I still hitch a ride with you to the studio because I don't have my rental car yet and I really want to go he's like I'm not gonna be there today again shooting a film in Redondo sorry next time thanks to Rocha you got dumped right there you just got totally thrown off I got undressed undated undated you got thrown to the side by Rocha that's Rocha for you man with the ladies that is with the ladies you hear that ladies Rocha Rocha just doesn't have time to spend with the ladies because he has things to do he has commitments he has auditions to his career I'm just picturing right now Rob in his car listening these fucking guys see and the thing about a comedian is you're not a comedian you're not a comedian you can't get real true sentiment out of them either because he asked me okay he goes like this hey how are you feeling and I was like literally like a bag of smashed assholes and he goes so that's not good he's like if you were a gay guy that'd be awesome he's trying to come up with jokes while you're right you just got in a car accident but then he said sorry you still feel bad hope you feel better oh Nikki oh man I'm sorry I'm sorry you didn't check up on me I did I was right there oh Nikki I didn't get any text messages from yo Adrian I thought you was my boy I thought you was my homie I texted you every single day I can't help it Nikki I was talking to you I don't think Adrian would give me a ride to LAX if I needed one I don't wanna give you a ride it's not that I don't want to it's that I can't cause I don't know it's because I was too busy doing jumping jacks naked I just don't have a car you know that feeling I know but you've got a cell phone I don't know I called you every day web of lies okay can we stop this yeah yeah we're gonna take a break you're depressing me we're gonna take a break that's our first wonderful hour can I go on that side of the window I've had enough I've had enough I'm just kidding we're gonna be right back with Nikki and Adrian we're gonna talk more about Rob and we got some news coming up and we got some stories about the Sunset Room and Zimmerman and I'm gonna talk about my new dating portal that I found and Craig's listen and a lot of your advice we need to give you advice cause I found that new I got on that new app Tinder so we need to talk about it alright let's Tinder it up alright we'll be right back you're my Tinderoni this is so wound up right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right 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