Rich Corbin returns, Cancun hospital story, stand-up comedy talk

Outro Music And this is the way, the way, the way, the way We rock the house You like them big hairy balls, don't you? Baby I know you gonna dig this Don't touch that dog Yeah, yeah What the Frizzled motherfucking lizard ass cheeks is on Yo Yo, you're listening to your boy Nestorius The host with the most With the flavor in your ear, ear, ear, ear, ear Of Nestorius Public Radio What's up? Como esta la gente? Como esta? Yo, como esta? Comi chihuahua Comi chihuahua Yo I just gotta say I wanna welcome my man You know, my ginger friend Rich Richard Rich Corbin My old Co-host He's back He's black He's bigger He's better than ever He's chillin' here in front of me In the newly improved We Play Radio Studios In the beautiful, shitty, gritty Downtown Los Angeles Live from Direct from Boston From Boston Boston What's poppin', G? What's up? Man, it's so glad to be back I feel It's good to be back home You know? Home, huh? Home L.A. is home? Oh, yeah L.A. is home Gotta love it L.A. is home L.A. is home L.A. is home L.A. is home That's interesting La home La homey La casa La casa Mi casa es mi casa, motherfucker Yo, it's been It's been It's been a couple of weeks Since I've recorded An episode of Nestorius Public Radio Because I've been like You know, on the On the go I've been on the go I was in Cuba for about 10 days Then I flew to New York And then I just wanna, you know Give a little update Before we get snizzled Before we start sniffing Some logical juice You know what I mean? Yeah Yeah And then And then Just about When I was ready To fly back to L.A. My sister-in-law called And told me that My brother-in-law Had a stroke While they were in Cancun And I was like What? And like, you know The first thing you think Is like Oh, shit Like I'm supposed to be Going to L.A. tomorrow And you know You could I could tell That she She really She really wanted me To be in Cancun She wanted me to be there And you know Not for spring break Or titties Or anything like that But because They don't speak Spanish And ironically enough Or coincidentally Or serendipitously Serendipitously Serendipitously There you go Double dip Serendipitously Serendipitously I had my passport Oh Cause I just came back From the Cuba town Right You know So you gained entry Right, right, right Cause normally I mean I wouldn't be having My passport I don't need a passport To go to New York You know what I mean They know me there I just show up You know what I'm saying I just show up You show them your NPR sticker And you'll be like Yo, come on through Yo, I just show up I just show up I'll be I just show up Be like Big up motherfucker You're poison town Reggaemuffin Big the fuck up Queens Big the fuck up Brooklyn Big the fuck up Jersey City, man You know And they just welcome me With a big up With open arms It's usually a parade and shit And everything's, you know Groovy doovy Yeah But I was like Yo The beautiful thing About the internet And of course If you have a passport Like you can book A fucking one-way ticket Like within hours They'll take your money Dude, within hours But it was like 300 bucks It was like fuck And as You know I was In all honesty I was tired I'm tired of flying And I'm tired of the TSA process And the whole shit I'm just really I'm tired I get anxiety As soon as I get into the airport And I see the log line And I see these fucking rejects They have nothing They couldn't amount to anything Right Except take the fucking TSA test You know what I mean? Like they couldn't even get A burger fucking job At McDonald's You know what I mean? Yeah And so you go And I'm like Oh shit I gotta go through This fucking thing again And so I take the flight And I forgot It's like a four-hour flight, dude I was like Oh fuck Four hours I was hoping it was like Two, two and a half hours, right? Right And you know Once you get there It's like Humid And I used to go to Cancun A long time ago When I was younger But then it hits you You know You're in Cancun Cancun is no place To be flying To go to a hospital Right You know what I mean? Yeah This is no place Right And so I get there I give my sister-in-law a hug And I can tell she's relieved And we go through The whole ring of my week Next morning I go to the hospital She's telling me He doesn't look good So I'm expecting the worst And I get to the hospital And he looks All right You know what I mean? He just had a patch on his eye Because apparently The left side of his body Kind of went numb And then he started seeing double Right So they gave him this patch So that you know He can reduce Half of the double And just see from The single You know what I mean? But homeboy was in good spirits He was like Hi, how you doing? I'm all right I'm like Oh shit Roddy's doing all right He's fine Well you know I mean you could be in bed You could be in a hospital bed In like You know Nevada You know But he's in a hospital bed In Cancun Cancun No but can I tell you something? This motherfucker Had a suite It was like It was like the presidential suite In the hotel That I You know my sister-in-law Was staying at this All-inclusive five-star hotel joint Like Creme de la creme service Right All-inclusive With that said They have five individual Separate restaurants Wow You know sushi Thai French Italian Mexican Seafood I mean I think they had like seven Wow And each one of them Was completely different And the service Was impeccable You know So The first thing I noticed was Dude This fucking room Is like a penthouse In New York You know Yeah So then I gotta pick up her son At the airport And You know for all Just to give a little reference You know there's Cancun And then south of Cancun There's what's called The Cancun-Tulum corridor And so you know Tulum Is one of the ruins there And there's a place called Playa del Carmen And there's a place called When I used to go down there In the 80s There was nothing there Like nothing Now they have these Big fucking resorts Ritz Carlton All this other bullshit And so they They want to charge you Like 50 fucking US dollars To go from the airport To this resort And so 50 You know dollars To go from the hotel To the To the hospital Which is a little bit further Than the airport Anyway long story short I'm like fuck it I'm gonna rent a car You know I tell this dude As soon as you go to the airport Oh What's up I need a car I need a car Un carro Un taxi It's like yo Chicle Quiere helio Humberto Quiero un burrito Que tu quieras You sure you didn't go to TJ Dude dude It's like these dudes are hustlers And I'm like I'm looking for a car I couldn't even get back In the airport If I wanted to To go to Hertz Or something like that To rent a car So this dude Before I could even say Nah I'm good He had a fucking dude On the phone Like yo yo My boy got a rental car company I'm talking to the guy He's like oh yeah What are they I'm right here man I'm in the airport He comes around He picks me up Takes me like just 15 minutes Off premises From the airport Bam I'm in this Fucked up shack And he's got one car So anyway He rents me the car Long story No muffler Three tires Manual transmission You know It's Got a fucking stone On the fucking One of the That's their That's their backup wheel The thing is It'd be good If you would've told I told him It'd be good If you would've told me That the only car you had Was a standard transmission Because you know Not everybody Knows how to drive standard Luckily Luckily your boy Luckily your boy Right here Be rocking Lucky your boy Luckily your boy Right here Knows how to Fucking shift You know what I mean So I was like Yo No problem No problemo Of course the clutch Was all fucked up Yeah cause they They rented it to somebody Before you Who didn't know How to drive a stick Yo that shit was like It's no problem I teach you I teach you Bam Smoke Fire Death That's it It was just like Complete bullshit So anyway You know We spend the day At the hospital That day We go back And they gave him an MRI Imagine this shit You're in Cancun There's a neurosurgeon A neurologist And they have an MRI machine Damn Okay For real Yeah And the hotel was like Spank diggy She was like brand new And it was You know It was built like Eight years ago They told me But she was brand new But think about that A neurologist So There's a lot of motherfuckers Going down there And fucking having spasms And shit I think Well yeah You know There's like a lot of old people Going on vacation down there There's big money down there For that I guess I guess Or there's something In one of those seven restaurants That's tweaking I don't know man I don't know So you know We go to the hotel You know It was late We get something to eat And we're chilling You know And the fucked up thing about it Is you come to the hotel It's like five o'clock These fat white American Motherfuckers Are laying on the pool On some lounge Fucking rafts All drunk Cause it's all inclusive Motherfuckers You know what they do They buy They buy They sell these like Half gallon jugs At the At the At the convenience store In the resort Right Like thermo Fucking cooler Half gallon So they go up to The kind the truckers have Yeah yeah yeah They go up to the bar Get the fuck out of here I swear to God I swear to God They go up to the bar It's the big bubba tubba And they're like Fill her up Dude Dude These motherfuckers are And everyone is fat White Bald It was like Where the fuck am I I wonder where a better place For a neurologist would be Dude I'm like Where the fuck am I Let me have another Cup of stroke please Yo they got They got Half gallon Big gulp Fucking thermonuclear Fucking mugs They go up to the They don't even have to Walk They just like Float right up to the Pool bar It's like fucking WALL-E all over again Dude WALL-E That movie WALL-E That animated movie You saw it WALL-E Dude that is Yeah WALL-E That is the future That's I'm telling you man Dude it was ridiculous These people have no bones left They just They're just Gelatinous masses My man I'm looking I'm looking at people I'm like Is there one Fucking buffed out Motherfucker here It was like And there was like One black couple And of course The black dude's got like More attitude than Fucking Bed Stuyvesant in Brooklyn He's like Yeah knuckle I'm black I don't give a fuck Like The look on This motherfucking guy's face Was like I'm like Dude you're in Cancun man You're on the beach You're in the fucking Palapa He's got You know These people got like the They call it the privilege Some of the people That go there all the time They give them The privilege treatment So you know You can book your own Cabana Yeah Motherfucker's chilling out With his wife With the big titties In the cabana And he's got the grill on Like Like Like He's ready for a pit bull fight I'm like What the fuck are you I don't understand this shit And of course Next one of these White land manatees Come fucks with me Nah man Look They are not Fucking with you Next time Next time One of these white Fat Land manatees With the half gallon Big gulp Look at me All fucked up I'm gonna fuck One of them niggas up I'm telling you Right now They're too sedated With Long Island iced teas And fucking hot dogs Yo But not one Motherfucker Looked like Like they went to the gym And And And in all defense I mean there were people there There's a gym You know the flip side of that Is like Who the fuck Goes to an All inclusive place To go to the gym At six in the morning Right Right So and I'll get to that shit And I'll find out There was a gym there Because So So You know we We get back to the hotel And we're going back in the morning To find out What's What's the result What are the results With the MRI Right Because Because no one wanted To tell me anything And I'm And I'm kicking it in Fucking Ablo Ablo Que pasa Tu sabes Yo se Que yo se lo que esta pasando You know what I'm saying No I don't know what you're saying You know what I mean Yo bingo de aqui I'm gonna bravando You know One two three You better fucking Give me the scoop And everyone's like No we don't know I said well where's the doctor No he's not here And I'm ready to go Buck wild and go Yo Check this out I'm gonna get that black dude From the resort I'm bringing him here And we're gonna fucking Rip this place apart We're gonna rip this Motherfucking place apart So So yeah I was getting attitude From From From this one Um Um Administrative whore And And I could tell She just needs to have her hair pulled And slapped But I You know I didn't get into all that With her yet You know what I mean I said alright I'm gonna come tomorrow Next day we drove down there We come in there And the doctor had come And so My man Ronnie is sitting up And he's like fucking Bright eyed and bushy tailed He's like I'm okay I'm telling you I'm fine Everything's fine I can walk I'm not even dizzy And of course you know When somebody has a stroke Or anything like that You're like yeah right Okay You're just like A little in shock Nigga Sit down And relax You know what I mean I'm fine This didn't really happen Nah You know what I'm saying Like put the insulin shit Back in your arm And lay the fuck down Okay You ain't going nowhere Yes Okay So then they start talking and shit You know the son is there And my sister-in-law's there And they're talking about like You know life shit You know like You know do you have your affairs in order Cause yo This shit happens You know You don't get a fucking email Letting you know like Yo tomorrow You're gonna get a stroke Make sure that your bills are paid You know what I mean Shit happens You know what I mean So So they're having this conversation And just around that time Ronnie goes He goes No No It's the last four digits Of the credit card It's three five six four And all of a sudden I'm like This motherfucker is alright Cause I I I got two credit cards Just two I know this motherfucker Got eight And he knows which credit card And the last four numbers I don't even know The last four numbers Of my credit card You passed the test That's the new That's the new stroke test What's your life What's your driver's license number Dude I don't know Another week Dude I was like Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo This motherfucker knows What he's talking about So Hey he's good That's good Yo so I was like I was like okay Alright he's fine He's fine So so you know So he says The doctor said I can go home I said okay So I go And I I said I want to still speak to the doctor I want to know what happened Of course the doctor Neurologist He tells me what's going on Everything's fine Yeah yeah yeah So you know There's no There's no way to find out How it happened It could happen to anybody Right You could be fucking Chilling out on Walrus fucking island In the all you can eat Inclusive fucking Gobbledy goop pool And you get And all of a sudden You know You know A clogged piece of blood Goes into your fucking Artery And it doesn't go And you get no oxygen And it's just like Help me You start smelling toast What did you say nigga You start smelling some burnt shit Smelling burnt toast You're like wait a minute Your left arm starts doing the lumbata Like what the fuck is that You start seeing chupacabras Instead of fat white dudes on the pool You're like wait a minute I'm in the pool I thought I know all you can eat Breakfast buffet place Why am I smelling butter You drop your big bubba gulp on the ground Oh fuck Why am I smelling butter Butter And they take your ass out And you wake up in this big lounge Right So basically I'm gonna fast forward on this shit Cause this shit is crazy So we go down And of course You know you gotta pay your bill Now This is where it gets crazy Right They gotta wait for the bill You know before they They treated you My sister-in-law had to drop a credit card And like put a $3,000 deposit Right You don't know how much shit's gonna cost Right Anyway Long story short Four motherfucking days In the Taj Mahal Of fucking Hospitals A neurologist All the medication you need Right Nurses Right MRI X-rays Okay $7,500 Fucking dollars Fucking Jesus Dude It was ridiculous That's like a half day at Cedars-Sinai A half day? A half day? A half day? Here's your name tag $7,000 A half day? Dude That's insane Seven grand That's insane $7,500 fucking dollars Jesus Which This is a public service announcement For Hospitan Yeah That's the name of the hospital Oh Hospitan If your motherfuckers Are planning on having a stroke Or a heart attack Or a fucking triple bypass Or anything like that Take a fucking flight to Cancun Chill out Go to the wobbly boot pool And fucking Book your fucking extended stay At the Hospitan Trust me The fucking Hotel Cost money More money Than this shit Yeah That's crazy Dude That is That seat I don't How do they do it? Dude My wife Is it volume? Dude There's so many Dude Pesos The pesos Right I don't know how they do it I really don't know how they do it I just got a bill My wife had some gastro Test reflexology shit No lie Two fucking hours In this hospital All this motherfucker Probably did Was anesthetize her throat And put a camera down her throat Right? To see if her passages Were fucked up Or whatever Two fucking hours In the hospital Some anesthesia A fucking Video camera That I could have bought At the i-fucking store At Apple And done that shit myself With an app You know how much The fucking bill was? How much? The bill that they charged The health The insurance Yeah Came out to Probably $15,000 For that? For that $15,000 Fucking thousand dollars Okay? And this is an in-house UCLA medical center Which They have a contract With our health insurance The Directors Guild of America Yeah Health Motion Picture Health Fund Insurance plan So you know They get Of course they get a discount Right? So there's a discounted rate So at the end of the day It winds up costing About $6,000 The insurance pays About 75% of that Right And then you pay the difference But that's what they're billing It's fucking rape That's crazy I mean I had shoulder surgery Back in 2000 And my bill was about I think it was about $15,000 $20,000 You know And you know The fucked up thing was Is that it was in the valley In like Just a You know What is it? Like an office building Yeah Seriously Like they converted An office building Into outpatient surgery Well they have They have a fucking They have a gurney in there That goes up and down That's not even on the west side It's like in the valley And it's still 15 grand I know I've had one of those joints Yeah Orthoscopic surgery That's crazy Seven grand $75,000 $500 fucking dollars I said yo Kid I'm gonna go Fake something And go Seriously Seriously I'm gonna walk in with a limp Just to get Seriously My hip hurts It's March I said it's March 17th Yeah Right No that was March 16th It was a Tuesday Cause I No March 15th I left on the 17th It was a Thursday So here's the kicker You know Since everything's fine He can go home Actually that was Monday So they said You know You don't have to rush home Change your flight They were scheduled To leave Wednesday So No Tuesday So Tuesday afternoon They chill out at the pool No Monday afternoon Chill out at the pool Tuesday they spend The whole day at the pool And I drive them to the airport So they chilled afterwards They chilled out For a day and a half Okay Thank God So I drove them to the airport Of course these motherfuckers Flying out of Cancun At six in the morning So I gotta get up before I went to bed at like one So I got no sleep on that shit And I drove them to the airport And I came back And of course I caught the sunset So it was like You know And I stayed an extra day Cause yo We're in Cancun Right You know I'm not fucking coming here And then flying to LA And not at least sniff Some fucking Cancun beach You know what I mean Exactly You don't wanna see Like Cancun hospitals So my last day was good But before I left that day From the hospital When we got the bill I was like Are you guys Do you have an opening March I told them like March 10th Through the 16th of 2017 I'm just gonna book it in advance Just so you know Just in case Just in case I get a stroke Or a heart attack I just wanna book it in advance So you guys have room available I like that same room It was ridiculous dude Anyway As I'm coming As I'm coming back From the airport Into the hotel The sun's coming out You know I've never been up that early In my life I don't think Maybe three times You know me I'm a night person I see about eight motherfuckers In the gym Doing elliptical shit I'm like These It's one thing or another It's Wabaloo motherfuckers On the pool On the pool Or these like Seven or eight You know Seven or eight Health nuts That you won't see in the pool Cause they go on these excursions And shit Right right You know They do the pool They eat And then they're on the bus At nine Doing all sorts of things Anyway That was my That was my Crazy Expedition After Cuba You know For For Yeah So I was I was gone for like 21 days And I just had to get that shit Out of the way Yeah So how are you Rich? Oh man It's good to be back in LA That's for sure Let's talk about you Rich When did you go to Boston? Oh When did I go? June Was it June? June yeah June 16th Is when I landed We had a little farewell Farewell party At the bowling alley Yeah that was cool June what? Corbin Bowl June 16th I landed at 3.54pm Ah You know And You know Seriously I hit the ground running I was Fucking working You know Seven days a week For two months I know At this first job I was working at Which was just Oh man It was just No you know what It's good for like You know It's good for like Youngsters and all that Dude I spoke to you A couple times a week Cause I knew you were On the cliff Looking down Going There's no point There's no point For me to go on I sense it I have I have Rich I have Rich Dar Okay Trust me It was a little Yeah It was fucking It was ridiculous You were working Seven days a week And clocking like Fucking fifteen dollars an hour Oh it was terrible It was ridiculous At Legal Seafoods Yeah Yeah That place You know Whatever Which Which you know It's Legal Seafoods is good To visit Yeah It's good to be on the On the sitting down side Of the dining room But it's not good To be working there Nah Nah Yeah You know I mean unless You know It's a great place to start There's a lot of You know A lot of kids there Starting out You know Doing their thing Whatever Waiting tables They're in college Stuff like that So it's great You know I mean These are the new Fucking Steve Jobs And Waffle House For three years from now They're gonna be Clocking fifty million dollars Buying the fucking restaurant Hopefully Hopefully That's how it is These days man It's just you know Everything that you Learned in school When we were in school Is complete fucking Useless bullshit And it doesn't apply Right None of it Yeah None of it You and I Got out of high school And college Without even knowing How to fucking Fill out a loan application Shit that's pertinent To fucking life As an adult Never Were you taught Any of it Right How to fucking Fill out a mortgage application Yeah You know what I mean How to negotiate space With your fucking wife That's why so many people Get fucked on shit like that Yeah They gotta teach you How to buy a car How to fucking have a kid Yeah How to not drop the kid How to buy a house How to do all that How to negotiate space How to negotiate stuff Space within Within your Within your apartment With your wife With your boyfriend How to deal with The phone company Yeah You know How to do that Like build up some social skills Yeah Not fucking You know And look science I think science is very important too I mean it's Science is fine Science is extremely No it's extremely important Give you a little broader view on that But you know You just It's just too much on On just useless stuff It's not you know No science is fine There's nothing wrong with Comprehending the way things work But I mean If you understand how things work At the end of the day It expands your mind What you need to know Is how things work Yeah On a day to fucking Day basis I mean as you get older There are certain things You need to know And unfortunately There's no Education for that Life is the education You have to go through it once To learn it Right You know what I mean And when you're going through it It could be a pain in the ass So So I wanted I mean We were talking a little earlier About expectations And looking forward to shit And sometimes I You know I had asked you Cause You know You You have a You had a really good job here I mean When I say a really good job You had a good job Yeah Right You weren't a fucking Nuclear physicist Making 500 Million dollars a year But You had a job Close But I mean You had a job That you were happy with You were content For lack of I mean You look forward to going to your job Yeah It wasn't one of those jobs Where like Ah fuck No I look forward to it I mean I go online sometimes Looking for like What kind of employment Is available Something that I might be interested in And everything is like 10 dollars an hour 15 dollars Right What the fuck Could I do with 10 dollars an hour What the fuck Right Could I do with 15 dollars 15 dollars an hour Right 15 dollars an hour 7 days a week You could stack pants At Banana Republic No no I'm saying No I'm saying With the check What could I do with that Oh okay Nothing Nothing You know what I'm saying It's unbelievable You know it's just You can't buy You could barely rent A fucking apartment You know in Los Angeles You know anywhere else Rent an apartment I mean you can I mean anyway You know you're gonna have You know So so so you know So when you were going to To Boston I had asked you You know like Why do you want to go there And stuff like that And you were talking about How you were stuck You know You know on your day to day Here in Los Angeles You weren't really doing anything To further your acting career You weren't really Pushing yourself You were just I was just going through You know I was just kind of I was just yeah Stuck like in a And not in a rut Or anything like that I had a good like I just had this like What do you call it You were just comfortable Yeah I was comfortable You weren't challenged No You weren't fulfilled Right you know And I felt like I If I wasn't gonna do it now Then Right I'm not gonna do it I'll never do it Yeah And look You know looking back You know it's hard to like Keep your Fucking you know Neck from careening behind you You know looking like Oh what did I lose You know life was so easy And all that But Yeah You know like you said You gave me a wonderful Wonderful gift before I left You gave me that You gave me that plate To put my keys in That says life Life begins at the edge Of your comfort zone Oh yeah And Yeah Could you give me that plate Could you give me that plate back If that's true Man I Could you give me that plate back I'm living like a motherfucker I'm fucking I gave you that Could you give me that plate back Cause I need to look at Something like that On a daily basis It's nice I keep it right there On the edge of my desk I see it when I walk Into the office But No you know And so it's It's tough Not comparing You know it's really tough And that's That's the hard part Is not looking back And Trying to look forward And don't feel like You lost anything Even though You know it's not losing It's It's I'm trying to keep But it's hard you know Cause If I get distracted You know if I see You know If I see lint You know floating around In the sun That's what I was gonna say Lint If I see lint If I see dust In a ray of sun You're like I'm like oh I'll watch that For like ten minutes You know And just space out No but it's not It's not just that No drugs required Here's the deal Here's the deal When you're an artist Right Yeah It's very difficult To Become fulfilled Unless you create Right When you create You You You get a sense of purpose You get a sense of accomplishment Yeah Thus you get a sense of completion You feel complete Yeah I'm not saying For your whole life But increments Of feeling complete And I think that I think that that That is That is the key to happiness That's the key To happiness I'm not saying That's gonna make you happy For the rest of your life No But But happiness comes in In moments Right In spurts Right And I think that When you don't have anything To look forward to Or you're not Like creating something Or you're not Fulfilled Doing something Then It just becomes the same Oh here's eight o'clock I mean I mean You know There comes a point in your life Right Where Let's say You're You have a good job Right And you start making good money And I'm talking about You know From that kid That can live on ten dollars an hour At Legal Seafoods Let's say To the point where you're like Twenty something Thirty I don't know what it is for anybody But for me And I don't know what the age was But for me You know Well for me It was when I became an electrician Right I was making Forty fucking something dollars an hour Straight time At thirty five Thirty five hours a week I was clocking fucking dollars All I had to do was show up And for lack of a better Comparison It was basically Those big fat White bald motherfuckers With the big gulp cups That were on the pool At that all you can eat place The land manatees The land manatees With hard hats on On ladders Without the big gulp Right Right And And And! And so here I was Making this money And I was not fulfilled Right? Right And so then what happens is Like like Like so you run out of underwear And then like Like Wednesday Oh shit I gotta do underwear again So then it becomes Oh shit Sunday Oh I gotta pay the bills again And it just becomes this cycle Of like Bills Writing checks Doing underwear And going to work And it's just And it's just like Where is the fulfillment? Where is And I don't know And I think that's where you know That you're Different in terms of You're an artist So you're not normal Right? Because most of these guys I worked with And most people They're fucking happy With just doing that And going home And they're okay They have normal lives They have wives They have kids Me I'm ready to fucking Jump off a cliff You know what I mean? And so So then You have to It is your responsibility To find out What that thing is Right That's gonna That's gonna bring you Fulfillment And that's where The fucking channel The channel The challenge comes in Right You know what I mean? Because Find that spark To ignite that fire To get you going In the direction That you were meant to go in Yeah but But then It takes a lot A lot of self-exploration A lot of trial Trial and failure You know Yeah but it's a double-edged sword Right? Because when you're here I'm talking about you now When you're here And you have a job And you're making good money And you know everybody And everyone's You know We went to your old job Last night You know And I'm gonna say I'm gonna say the name Because it doesn't matter Right? It's one of my favorite places I might go back It doesn't matter No no No it's It's one of my favorite places In the world Rich used to work At the Magic Castle Which is the Academy of Magic Arts And Sciences Here in Hollywood And this is where The fucking best Of the best Illusionists And magicians Go To train And to show off Their wares It's like Mecca For magicians It's Mecca It really is For magicians And so And so It's a membership Club And you know There's a restaurant there It's a fucking Dude Dude I've been there I don't know how many Fucking times Eight, nine times man And It never fails I will get my fucking Brain Exploded Inside Some shit I mean The kid last night 21 years old Un Fucking Believable Seriously There's no way to explain This fucking kid I know At 21 Yeah yeah yeah He must have been making I know how he did that No You know You came over to me Trying to I'm like shut the fuck up This motherfucker I'm like wait a minute Maybe I don't Cause what I'm saying Doesn't even make sense This motherfucker Was making diarrhea Disappear from his Fucking diapers At the age of Fucking six months Having it fucking Pop up in his Fucking mother's Panty drawer Just This dude was doing shit Like what the fuck Are you talking about dude But he was so He was so smooth Oh he was smooth And so like just calm He was like smooth Like like like You know like like You know like like And I'm thinking I'm thinking What What are you fucking I stopped doing drugs He popped out with like a A fucking magic wand And a top hat Nah nah No no no It was ridiculous Anyway anyway You worked at this place Yeah This place has some sense Of prestige You know Everyone knows you We went back there And you haven't been in What six seven months Nine months Nine months And everyone was like Oh shit Rich Rich And I could tell You were in your element And I could tell That a part of you Missed that You know what I mean Oh my god It was It was It was like you know I was crying so much Yeah yeah On the inside I get it I get it I fucking get it And so you know To bring it to the present So you're in Boston You know you challenged Yourself to do that And I'm Well just getting out there Was a challenge Dude I wholeheartedly Applaud you Seriously And I mean that sincerely As a brother right Yeah Cause I know you I love you You know we're like You know like Yo we're like this And like that And like this And like this And like that And like this And you know And like I know you You know me And that type of shit And I applaud you Because you know Like you said Moving somewhere new Is a different stuff Moving somewhere new To be with your girlfriend Is another fucking thing Because you know You guys had never Lived together Then you gotta start A new job You gotta find new friends And you know You you you What I saw What I saw this Do for you Is that you You you started Even further Exploring Being outside Of your comfort zone I mean You started doing Stand up comedy Yeah Like how many months ago Was that Four months ago Four months ago And you've been Hitting open mics Yeah As much as I can You know Trying to push myself Yeah So it's great Yeah no that's no fucking That's no small feat What the fuck I'm just kidding Sorry about that I keep hitting I feel I keep hitting No I just I feel Kinda I don't know Cause you know Being an actor And all that I'm not I'm not like I'm not afraid To be in front Of people And say stuff You know I can walk And talk In front of people Yeah You know Unlike I I can't sit down And talk into a microphone Right now apparently But Right But no it's We got a few minutes You can practice It's fun It's Yeah it's fun I just felt like I couldn't do it out here Cause everybody And their mother Was doing it You know It's like if you're an actor And now you're gonna Try this stand up And this and that It's interesting It's interesting You know I've been around it I hang out with you You know I have a love hate Relationship with stand up It's a fucking Exactly And I'm sitting here Like bad mouthing it Because I And I haven't even done it So you know I should You know Shit on me Cause it's like You know I have my I had my own Perception Or preconceived ideas About how it is And I was You know Oh hecklers Or oh you know All those guys Are assholes And this and that And that was the biggest thing I was more afraid of Of the actual The actual I guess Environment You know Rather than Standing on stage Telling a joke And getting You know Right! Right! Right! Right! Not getting any laughs Cause that's That's everyday You know The stand up comedy As an art form Is Unlike anything else For many For many reasons You know If you have a sense of humor And you're born to make people laugh And entertain people You know Getting up on stage I mean you do that all the time At your job Or walking down the street You do it all the time Yeah So that's really not Well so do you Of course Right But that's not the challenge The challenge is Navigating The Comedians Simon Kaufman Our old Comrade On the NPR S to the K To the N N So we We used to We used to talk about Like you know The notebook comedians That you know Normally on a day to day They're miserable Shit faced They got nothing Pleasant or funny to say Right But they go on stage And they have a little notebook And they work all day On writing jokes And shit like that And you know That works That's fine I mean There's different types Of comedians And then There are people Who are just You know Full of life Full of energy Always making people laugh It's just who they are You know what I mean You're one of those people And so That's a different type Of comedian You know It's like So part of it is Or at least The beginning of it Is trying to find your voice Right Your persona Who are you Right I mean I know who you are Rich You're my boy But who are you Every successful comedian Has a voice Has a persona And that's not something That somebody can give you That's not somebody That I can say Listen here Rich This is your persona This is who you are Right That's something You gotta come into You know what I mean Yeah And doing stand up Repetitively Gives you The ability To find your rhythm Which is You know Helps you find Your voice And your persona You gotta But as I'm finding out Though too Is that you have to Relinquish the control That you're trying to give You know Like I wanna try You know Like you have to be A little Self reflective You gotta come one You have to be Self reflective on it And be you know Not self critical But just self aware I'm finding out though too And How do you mean Self aware of what Well I mean If you got something In your head You think it'll work You go out You try it It doesn't work You know From what I've known Okay I'll try it again I'll try it this way Because you know Like when I first started I was You know I'd wear a hat And you know I'd dress differently And stuff like that And I'm like I'm gonna try it With the hat off I felt more comfortable With the hat Not wearing this hat That I wanted I'm like I had it in my head I'm gonna wear this So you went in With the image Of what from the outside The comedian Could look like Exactly Like how I wanted to You know Perceive As if that was your persona Right You know I mean I didn't have anywhere to go Right It's alright Are we knocked out No Oh okay So No we're good It was the right ear But that's Anyway That's kind of what did You know And then And then it's just Just kind of Give way to All of your Preconceived Ideas or whatever Work on your stuff And just Make it You know Just feel real to you Right You know Feel real to me And also I found that You know I can sit and write And I wrote my first You know Five minutes Or twelve minutes I had like I had about twelve minutes Which winds up being Five minutes When you cut out all the fat Yeah exactly You know All the extraneous story When you cut out all the And and the but And you know what I mean And have you noticed And you know like Yeah exactly And all that other stuff You know what I mean Drizzle it down But Yeah yeah Which which which Which is a really Really interesting Art Art form So like you know I listened to your set You know Your early set And and and You know I thought your premises Were funny I thought I thought it was funny You know what I mean And and it's interesting And it's interesting To listen to somebody Knowing you right Because your material Your material is going to Come from your perspective On life You don't need to write You can't sit Like like Shit comes out of my mouth Sometimes Based on my perspective On things I'm making a commentary On how fucking stupid People are How ridiculous things are And as I'm talking A lot of times Things just Oh shit That's a funny concept I might write that down And then you go on stage And you You try to develop that Into a bit Or a joke You know a joke And then into a bit It's just an idea For me it's like an idea You know that That thing that you heard You know it was about tattoos Dude I wrote that Sitting on the steps Waiting for my laundry When I saw some kids Walking by In their twenties With tattoos And I just thought to myself Man Have they not seen Old people with tattoos Right You know And then They look like a Persian rug That sat out on the patio For ten years And that's And it developed From that To where this whole thing And you know And I thought That was a good idea You know but One of the challenges I see you having though As a comedian Is that you look like Louis C.K. So it's kind of like Yeah So it's kind of like You know Like It's almost as if You know Richard Pryor was your dad What are you gonna do different No no no I'm saying It's very difficult I mean Chris Rock right Oh yeah His brother Tony Rock Right Tony Rock is a fucking brilliant He's hilarious And he's got nothing in common With Chris Rock Like I mean As far as sense of humor They don't even look alike He doesn't act like him And to his credit He's never ridden his coattail You know they're two Different people So like you know You'll see Tony Rock And you'll be like Oh shit That's Chris Rock's brother Chris Rock has a brother And he's a comedian Right You know like Charlie Murphy Eddie Murphy's brother Right You know what I mean Now Charlie Murphy Comes off to me As someone who You know Writes sketches And stuff like that You know what I mean I've seen him perform And he talks about How he's Charlie Murphy's brother And you know His experiences on You know The Dave Chappelle show And this other Which was fucking hilarious Very hilarious Oh my god Very hilarious And so you know I actually think Anybody With perseverance And With the ability To sit down Write and stuff like that Could actually Do stand up And be somewhat successful Right I think You know I do Anybody Yeah I didn't I never used You can read a book And follow the rules Of comedy That doesn't mean You're gonna make it Per se I mean It takes It takes It takes a I don't know You know You were turning me on to Riding in cars Getting coffee with comedians Yeah With Mel Brooks Now Mel Brooks Is a fucking genius A fucking genius Okay And I had the pleasure Of watching Blazing Saddles Okay A movie that came out In the 70s Yeah Okay And I watched it live With a predominantly Jewish audience In Tarzana No Thous and Oaks Excuse me And it was Dude It was fucking hilarious It was just like One fucking thing After another Brilliant Brilliant writing And you think about Something that's written In the 70s To be 2016 And the shit Being hilarious As well Just as good right now And then he comes out On stage And he starts telling us Stories about how He made the movie And all that other stuff And so The other day When we were driving And I saw Driving in cars With comedians With Jerry Seinfeld And he had Carl Carl Reiner Carl Reiner And Mel Mel Mel Mel! Mel Brooks Thank you I forget my name And Mel Brooks ADD and me And me and ADD And ADD and me And me and ADD Let's go ride bikes I can't keep One thought in my head At a time Cause I'm fucked up So Mel Brooks And Carl Reiner Which was interesting Talking about ADD Carl Reiner Couldn't get a fucking word And evangelized In that whole thing And it was just Mel Brooks And one of the things That Mel Brooks said Is that That was That was genius Was that I don't know What's funny But I But if it makes me laugh You know It's funny And I'm gonna make it work Right Right Which is Which is kind of like Like Goes back to your perspective Right So you thought that was funny About the About the tattoos You thought that was funny And it was funny to you Yeah Right And it was It was actually The person who laughed the most Out of However many times I did it Was a tattooist Right He was like a local tattoo artist And he went up before me And they're like And here's the local tattoo artist From Halston Go check out his shop And I'm like Oh fuck I'm gonna go up after him And so I looked right at him And I'm like Remember there was a time When the only people Who got tattoos And he was cracking up And he was like He just started laughing But here's the thing Right So with that With that idea in mind Right So your job As a comedian Right Is to Enlighten People To your perspective And why it was funny to you You see Why It is funny Yeah Right Of course sometimes things Are funny to you And they're not that funny To other people And you may not Want to pursue it You want to say You know what This is too much More work than I care To invest In Enlightening you As to why this is funny But for the most part That's where you start off And And So So Yeah So that's the thing I got out of Out of what Mel Mel Brooks said You know I mean Then there's the technicality Of it Or the technical aspect of it Because I've I watch a lot of You know Shows on comedy And watch a lot of comedians And all that Yeah you do You do I love it You know It's just It's something that I've always held It's like a pure It's so pure I didn't want You know That's another reason Why I almost Didn't want to do it Because I think it's such Such a pure art form That I didn't want to Taint it with my bullshit You know And that's That's like Yeah that's my My shitty You know Horrible Ego A lot of fucking Stand up comedy man I can't listen to Stand up comedy Because then Every single premise That I come up with I feel like Oh he just did the joke Yeah but With all the comedy That I've That I've listened to Or you know And that's not even Anywhere near What other people Might be listening to Because you know Oh have you heard No I haven't heard Of this person Oh yeah But There's like There's an overlapping Like they'll They'll touch on The same subject And they'll just tell The same Not the Same joke But they'll just have A different perspective Of it Or different You know And that And that That gave me A little bit of like You know It doesn't matter You know They're not gonna Call him out If Oh so and so Did this You know Unless they do it Word for word But what happens Is Oh you got a bit On traffic You got a bit On What I'm saying Is you listen to A lot of stand up comedy So that could be An impediment To your process To your joke For instance If you have a premise That you think is funny And you listen And say Bill Burr Says something And Bill Burr Is a genius In the sense that I can't listen to Bill Burr Right Because I identify With Bill Burr Bill Burr is like George Carlin And those are the types Of comedians That I identify That's my You know That's my persona Right So if I have a concept Or Or Or Or A perspective on something And I listen to him I'm fucked There goes that joke I can't It's hard for me to like You know Forget it Unravel From So don't quote me on any of this But There was a comedian He was talking about He's like Yeah I'd go up there And I would do my You know I'd be doing Richard Pryor You know My first like ten minutes Would just be Pretty much Richard Pryor Because that was a big influence On this person Whoever It may be Because I can't remember But they're like I you know You know That was a big inspiration So They listened to so much So they They kind of just That's That was their Their starting ground So they You know Until they found their own voice But they learned the timing Or they Maybe they had the confidence To go up there And do that Because You know It's You know However you want to call it But they were They were saying You know I was so influenced by that I wanted to do that My Their style You know They were talking like Richard Pryor Or somebody was talking like Eddie Murphy Or something like that Right And I was like Oh wow That's kind of interesting That You know That other people Like that Until And if you keep going with it You will eventually find your voice Like you told me Yeah The thing The thing about About One of the most interesting Sets That I ever watched Speaking of Richard Pryor Was This thing that he did I think it's called Live and Smoke Or something like that Up and Smoking Live and Smoking Live and Smoking Is that what it is I think it is It was live on the Sunsets No no no no This was his first Actual video recording Of a set That he was going to do It was so fucked up He bombed It's on YouTube I think it's called Live and Smoking It's I mean For anybody Who's a comedian And wants to get inspired Meaning If You know Watch this shit And you realize That everybody Everybody who Who Who Does stand up You know Starts somewhere And It's not that easy And it's To me it's just Inspirational because You know You think that You have to be funny All the time And all that stuff And part of it Is You know You're trying to find your voice It's the Awkwardness of it It's the You know And there's And there's moments That you're going to fuck up And all that Stuff We have about Three minutes or so But I wanted to ask you Damn that went fast I know It always goes fast Here on the NPR On the notorious Motherfucking public radio Hey Jeremy Give me another ten Yo Jeremy Give me another five We can't Give me a beat Yo So I wanted to ask you Like Yeah Really quick What What What are the Biggest challenges Challenges That you have faced Not just as a comedian But just as a comedian But just as A transplant In Boston And You know Doing comedy And finding your way there Like In a minute or so Let me know You know I'm curious The biggest obstacle Is Well my biggest obstacle In my entire life Has been me You know Dealing with that But as far as Moving out there And all of that I think You know I think it's It might be Just settling in Getting Getting Getting used to the people There You know The people are Kind of Like you know They're like a little lobster They're like a little crusty You know They're really warm And soft on the inside They're like bread But on the outside You know You gotta You gotta kind of Break the shell a little bit And then they're They're hilarious And they're awesome They're New Englanders They're amazing They're New Englanders But in the beginning So it's kind of hard To just like Because in Los Angeles Run around You know And talk to people But So So the people I guess the people And the culture It's a culture shock So you're waiting You're waiting Tables at Smith and Walensky Now right Yeah So why don't you just Let your cock pop out In between the zipper When you go up to a table And when you serve them You say Can I help you Right What can I get you No you know what's great Is that we wear these aprons My cock's already out And they don't know it So rip a hole in it It's beautiful So by the way By the way It's called Richard Pryor Live and Smoking Live and Smoking So you're right S-M-O-K-I-N And you gotta watch this Because It's inspirational Because you see One of the fucking giants Of stand up comedy Literally eating cock On stage No I think I rented that Actually Dude Dude It's ridiculous I think I rented it And I turned it off After like 10 or 15 minutes It was It was It was so uncomfortable Yeah I was like What is this This is It was so uncomfortable Yeah It was not good Hey I wanted I wanted to see If I could do this real quick Oh no So I wanted to plug in Siri I wanted to plug in Siri Hold on a second I wanted to say I want to ask Hold on a second I want to ask Siri Something But now she's Now she's talking Wake up bitch Oh she said That's not nice I wanted you to suck my ass She said that's not nice Hold on a second Let me see Hold on a second Hold on a second Take What's my name Siri What's my name It says Now Siri's not available Siri not available Well fuck yourself Connect to the internet Wait a minute That's some British Fucking imposter It's a spy Siri What's my name Your next door But you asked me To call you freak freak y'all That's just Freak freak y'all That's my name Yo So like that concludes our show We got about 30 seconds Is there anything you want to say You want to say fuck you to somebody You want to say hey It's good to see you Man I just wanted to say To everybody in Los Angeles From the L to the motherfucking A That I love all of you And I love this city And you know It's just become my home After 21 years And I'm looking forward to it Looking forward to kind of You know Melting into Boston A little bit too But I love I love being back Thank you I love L.A. I love L.A. I fucking love L.A. I'm a New York trans I had to leave to appreciate it Yeah I love L.A. You were even praising You were even praising The fucking drivers on the way here That was hilarious Compared to Boston drivers That was hilarious Oh my god Anyway we ran out of time If you are new to the show This is your first episode Thank you very much for tuning in Welcome to the show Make sure you come to The weplayradio.com Website And check out the rest of the shows We got some really cool shows Make sure you go to iTunes And let everybody you know Go to iTunes And subscribe to the Nestorius Public Radio show Downloads is what counts Motherfucker You know what I'm saying So like our Facebook page Facebook.com Forward slash Nestorius Public Radio And you know Do that shit Come back See us Come up and see us sometime We play radio It's me I ain't doing nothing but talking shit, so y'all gotta, like, you know, encourage me the whole way long. Ow! I ain't doing nothing but talking shit, so y'all gotta, like, you know, encourage me the whole way long. Ow! Thank you.