Fuck Around Friday with news and comedy

You are listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. I'm not doing it with you. Please do it with me. Fuck that. Can you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios? At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. Okay. You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Grant Thoman. You're on time. Right on time. Right on time. Right on time. Right on time. Right on time. Right on time. Right on time. You are right on time for Grand Theft Audio Radio. This is Jake Belcher. And I'm Grant Thoman. Live at the Skid Row Studios down here in the lovely, cloudy, an overcast downtown LA. Yeah, it is kind of like that this morning. But I got to ask you, Grant. Are you ill-prepared for today's Fuck Around Friday? No, I think we've got plenty to fuck around with. That is not good enough. You have to be ill-prepared for Fuck Around Friday. Oh, then I am truly ill-prepared for Fuck Around Friday. Okay, good. Because, you know, Fuck Around Friday, we don't really have to have any huge, big-ass plans. Nope. We can just kind of mess around, swirl the water about, see what's going on in the world. Gently doing that just to see what happens. Gently swirling the water. What's the water about? Hello. Hello. Man, I'm glad that it's Friday. I'm so ready for the weekend and to just have a couple of days of relaxatory. I don't have any huge plan for it. I guess I probably will finally go out and see the Avengers. Yeah, this will be a good week to do that. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to head out and see Dark Shadows. Oh, well, of course. There's a vampire in it. Yeah, that's right. So my wife does love the vampires, so I'm sure I'll be heading off and seeing that. Yeah. So, yeah, it should be good. Let's see. And, of course, it is Mother's Day, so at least Sunday will be Mother's Day. But we'll... Are you doing anything for Mother's Day? I'm going to be working. Can we turn off the air conditioning? It is the mother of all days for restaurants, but I always feel, for the last four years that I've been at this restaurant for Mother's Day, it always feels like it's a day that we hurry up to wait because it's just such a reservation-heavy day that you're just waiting for people to arrive and get seated. It flows relatively smoothly. It's just there's a tremendous number of people. We'll probably do 1,200 to 1,500 people in service on Sunday alone. What's, like, an average day? An average Sunday is usually between 800 and 900 people. Oh, so that's a big jump. Yeah, it's a big jump. So it'll be busy. It's all hands on deck. So everything should go just fine. Actually, it's quite surprising. The company I work for does a tremendous amount of catering stuff, and Mother's Day is no exception. There's a lot of stuff that's just not catered. It's just, like, pickups and such. So tremendous amount of food going out of that restaurant on Sunday. I hate going out to restaurants on a holiday like that. Like, the lines are always forever long, and service takes forever, and a lot of places do that special menu for today. Right, right. So no special menu for us. It's just whatever you want off our regular menu. That's what our kitchens. That's what we're ready for, and they're ready for a busy, busy day. Whatever sounds good. Yeah, exactly. Okay, let's get into some issues for today. Then we'll get into more, really, our fuckarounds. Like, okay, later on today. Issue one. Yeah, but later on today. Later on today, I want to try writing a song. Okay. I know you've been humming something on the train over, so you've got something in mind. So that'll be fun to hear. That'll be a good mess around. But I think we should start off with some of the more disturbing news I've heard recently. Chris Birdman Anderson from the... I guess he's still technically with the Denver Nuggets. They haven't fired him yet. No, but he is on suspension. But why is that? He is being investigated by the Internet Child Pornography Unit. They've come to his house, and they showed up, and they went in there, and they took his computers out, took all his hard drives, anything that could hold digital media. And now they won't say exactly what they're looking for, but when they show up on your front porch with shirts on the back that say Internet Child Pornography Unit, it's probably a pretty good chance of looking for drugs. Absolutely. It's probably looking for child porn. Okay, so... And how awesome is that as a neighbor to this guy? You walk out, and you see on the back of the jackets the Internet... What is it again? The Internet Child Pornography Unit. Internet Child Pornography Unit stenciled on the back of the jackets. Like, what the... Really? You know, they probably should have... Chris is into that? They probably should have realized that it said, like, free daycare on the front of his house, like that he's probably not a good combination. Okay, but seriously, man, like, they're not coming out to his house for viewing child porn. They're coming out to his house because he's either distributed it or he's made it. If they're coming to your house to knock on the door and take your computer away, it's because they know you've been doing something wrong for a while. It's... They're... These perverts are trying to get... We'll get around it as best they can, but eventually, they're going to get caught. There's just too many people now watching this stuff. So... And I don't mean the porn itself. They're watching these guys watch the stuff. Honestly, like, this all could have been avoided had the Denver Nuggets just traded him to New York where it's legal to watch child porn. Yeah, to view it. To view it, you know? To view it, absolutely. But it seems like he's been doing more than just viewing it. That's probably true. So... I mean, because really, yeah, it's... I just don't see them wasting their time on just going out and getting people who are viewing it. This was a guy who also has really, in the last couple of years, really, like, taken off as a fan favorite for the Denver Nuggets, and now he's really kind of... I think his career is over. Even if he didn't do it. This stuff does mark you forever. Yeah. Even if they find there's absolutely nothing on his computer and that it's all a big mistake, that is going to hang over his head for pretty much forever. So he's done in the NBA. He's probably done in the United States. He's going to wind up in jail. I think that the Birdman is probably a bad nickname for him. He should be, like, the chick dude. Yeah. Because, like, he likes little ones. Yeah, he likes the little ones. He likes the little birds. Yeah, little birds indeed. It's just... It's very shocking in your head when you think about somebody who... Like, he has to be able to go out and get... and get regular chicks all the time, right? I mean, you would figure. I mean, he's rich and tall and well-known and... Covered in tattoos, and there are ladies who love that kind of thing, so... Look, I'm not going to get into my hatred of tattoos on today's episode. We only have two hours for Fuck Around Friday. I understand, but this is a man who's, like, like, neck to waist. It's gross. He's just completely covered in these things. It is. It's a little excessive. Little excessive. Even one, to me, is, like, too much. I just... I know that you have a couple, right? Right. What are yours again? I have a key on my chest, and then I have a little green demon that I had put on my left arm. The green demon. The little green demon. How are you liking them still? Do you ever feel like, oh, like, I'm so happy to have this? I gotta get some touch-ups done on one of them, but I don't regret either one of them. I... It was a phase in my life, and they had meaning, and they still do. So, I know that you weren't a big fan of them, but, like I said, we all... Just yours, though. No, no, no. I hate all tattoos. You don't like tattoos in general, period, so... I just think they're retarded and ugly, and they... I had a good example of bad tattoos because my dad had two ridiculous tattoos, and it prevented him from doing a lot of things that he liked to do. My dad loved swimming. He loved it. He thought it was the greatest thing in the world. Right. And then once he got older, and his tattoos started getting all... and looking bad, he had this giant army man on one arm, and he... When he was younger, it probably looked like he was holding a gun, and he's all stiff and tough, but as my dad got older, it just started looking all droopy, and the colors were bad, and it just looked like shit. Right. And he wouldn't go swimming anymore because he hated having to take his shirt off and go in the pool, so it prevented him from doing something that he loved out of embarrassment for how it looked. I see. So, to me, that was like, never getting one. Well, good. Can't stand it. See, this is where we differ. Piercing is something that I can't get into, and my balls have six piercings on them. So you said. Never seen the photos, but... Well, that's because I am not a whore. I don't just take pictures of my nuts and send them everywhere. No, just certain discerning ladies. One in particular. Of course. My wife. Yes, now. I'm not talking about the ones from all those years and years ago. Come on. That's certainly bullshit. Years and years of constant sexting to people. But before then, that didn't even exist. I know. You wouldn't think of doing... I'm not doing something like that. I didn't have the capability of doing something like that. You didn't have the camera. I wouldn't think of it. If I was 17 years old, and that's the world I lived in, my balls would be everywhere. Everyone would know what your balls looked like. But unfortunately, I got old too soon. I mean, if I was born a few years later, I probably would totally have been into that. Probably. Oh, totally. Probably would have gotten kicked out of school for it. Multiple schools. Yes. I'd have been the guy that set up the spy cam in the girls' locker room. Because I'm a creep, yo. Like, that is just what happens. But I'm not a birdman creep. I mean, I'm not going into an elementary school. Who knows exactly what this guy did? I know we're supposed to have presumption until proven innocence and stuff. But it seems like the team probably believes something's happening here for him to get kicked off the team. Well, yeah, he's on an indefinite suspension. That's a very nice way of saying kicked off. Yeah, they haven't fired him quite yet. They got to make sure that there's a clause, which I'm sure there is in his contract, that says, okay, this is why we're firing you. But for now, you're suspended until we make sure we're covered on all our legal bases. I mean, the crazy thing is, when you hear about an NBA guy getting in trouble, it's usually for beating his wife or... Rape. Rape or weed. I mean, so something that... Punching a fan. Yeah, those types of things seem to happen. Right. But where does this guy even get the time to... Dude, it's Denver. Yeah, there probably is nothing else going on there. You know what makes me think? I have this theory. My theory, is that people who are into child porn and stuff probably have very small dicks. Because they think to themselves, oh, I can't satisfy a regular lady, so I should think about this little one. Interesting theory. I mean, I don't know if it's based in any reality or not, but... Maybe you can get a science grant from the government and you can go to different prisons around the country and measure the dick size of the person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The pedophiles that are there. I'd probably have to say I was doing something else. Like, just to be able to do it and then be like, no, I tricked you. I did this research instead. Thanks, government. Yeah, that way you wouldn't have to actually look at all those. But thank you, Chris Birdman Anderson. It's just awful. Wonderful guy. But it helps Lickers, because he's not going to be playing against them this weekend. Nope, he will not be. So, go Lickers. Exactly. Hey, that's great. And we get our own suspended. player back for game seven since uh we're kind of talking about the lakers they did lose last night to denver in a relatively it's pretty it's as close to a blowout as as the the lakers usually get to because it was uh let's see a 17 point loss i would say they played listlessly that's a good word i mean they just uh they had no pep no vinegar no um uh gumption they just uh took it right they showed up to denver tired and like well we'll put in our 48 and then we'll go home was kobe staying in a hotel there uh i would hope so he's probably exhausted he probably is well white women fighting him off all night long i mean uh very uh that can't be very relaxing i i don't i i i would really hope that uh uh he was getting some rest but yeah in in denver they're just they're just clawing at the door to get into that room oh oh man what was that um song that nirvana used to sing um that the girls sing when he is around oh man what was the name of it it uh was off of their um what album was that on i'm pretty sure that it went something like that yeah i think this is how it went this is this is that that is the chicks um but they sing outside of kobe's room there because that girl made a lot of money yeah i'm sure she's fine now you know there's probably nothing going on not living in denver anymore she didn't hit the jackpot and make a little baby no because that is uh how you really get money off an nba player well yeah not nfl players i know you know they're better at um dodging tackle and they're better at um dodging tackles and stuff yeah i mean it's it's easier for an nfl player to get away from a um money hungry baby mama which is one of my least favorite things i hate baby mama we should come up with some other thing to say for chicks who give birth to babies you know what i i wonder just is there going to be some recognition for like baby mama day instead of just mother's day baby mama day there there should be there's enough of them now yeah it's getting to the point where it mother's day shouldn't it we should just change the name officially to baby mama day um there there still are some mothers out there i mean would you want to respect your mother like that by changing the name of the holiday that's supposed to oh it's long she's had so many mother's day she can have one baby mama day so you're just going to change it one time just one time just one time until until we can get another official day for the baby mamas which would be a separate day altogether so in fact that would be the day where you know maybe guys would try to catch up on child support or something try to but try that hard right here's some here's some flowers for you baby and there's a twenty dollar bill to help with the with the food this week well you know mother's days this week which is um i think probably part of the reason that time magazine put out the issue that they did this week with um the woman breastfeeding on the cover yeah a um you know that's a motherly thing to do like you don't see non-mothers going around just breastfeeding other people and if you do please send them down to skid row studios yes i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i drink i i i i i it's been so long i can't remember what it tastes like okay so yeah i was a little baby i mean i haven't had any since i was a baby go get yourself a doctor's prescription and you can buy it on the internet you can yeah you can buy human breast milk online as long as you you can it's human breast milk actually has like anti carcinogens it's like really good for people who do have cancer you can use it as a not as a medication but it helps fight cancer and if you get a if you get a prescription for it you can actually get human breast milk crazy yeah there's a i'm looking at prices right now there you go there's even a uh you like order like what type of boob it comes from i don't i don't think that really i mean i'd like to try a little chinese breast milk a little um african breast milk to see if i can taste like some type of difference i i wow okay i you put a lot more thought into this than i have i just the crazy story i heard there's oh there's yeah i guess so because there was that crazy story a couple months back about the restaurant that was making cheese out of human breast milk i would eat it but i'd be a little afraid of that but i'd try it i don't yeah okay breast milk breast milk classifieds.com awesome how much can i can i buy some breast milk for a dollar to 250 an ounce okay it's more expensive than gas and like we make this this is like just a byproduct uh sure maybe you only drink like an ounce at a time maybe you make like a white russian with some um russian titty milk in it really white russian yeah i would drink it okay so what is the um the problem with time magazine having put out this issue uh there's a fervor that's going on about the about the photo itself i mean a lot of people feel that the photo might be a little inappropriate and uh i mean i looking at it uh when i first saw the story it was on uh like uh cnn or something and they brought up the uh the cover on the on the tv but what was really interesting even though in the photo itself you don't see any part of the nipple they actually blurred out the child's mouth on her breast because they didn't want to show any semblance of the breast not even like the side boob shot of it this whole thing about like um nipples being the only part of the boob you can't show is really weird to me i mean you can show all the way up to like every little crinkled edge um the first celebrity or person that figures out that they can chop off their nipples and like have them grow over to just be like these hanging balls in front with no nipples on them and they can just leave them hanging out all the time that person will be very famous you can just have them hanging out all the time and no one will bother blurring them and i've seen some bigger titties than women that kind of reminds me of a uh an episode of nip tuck that was on fx a couple years ago in which this woman went in for surgery to actually have her nipples removed and then have skin grafts over them so that she looked like a nipple and then she would have nipples removed and then have nipples removed like a Barbie doll that her husband at the time, her husband hated nipples. And so he had her remove hers and they actually showed her topless. And then it was obviously either some kind of pasty or digital enhancement that made it look as if she didn't have nipples, but you could see her breasts, but because the nipples weren't there, they were able to put it on screen. Now, I don't know. I still am just baffled by the fact that it's like, well, why do we look at it so sexually? But you know, how, how often do we see some heavyset dude in some TV show or commercial who's hanging out there with no shirt on and he's got the, the man tit hanging out there with his nipples all sitting flat, flapping around. Yeah. With no problem. It was a big, fat, heavy hangers. Yeah. And there they are. Hey, speaking of a big, fat, heavy hanger, it's time for us to go to our first musical break of the day. Oh, wow. Yep. That actually sounded like an introduction, introduction for our entertainment report. Oh, good Lord. Okay. So we're not going to go with our band of the day today because today is fucking around Friday and they are not going to make it into the studio. We're going to pick it up again with them next Monday and Tuesday. So for in honor of F around Friday, um, I present to you, um, one of my favorite internet DJs, DJ ID with swollen dome. Hello. Is Rebecca available? Yes, this is Rebecca. This is Isaac. Oh, hey. Hey, what's up? Hey, did you listen to my CD yet? No, go f*** yourself. I don't want to hear your CD. Okay. All right. Bye. I'm not conceited. I'm not conceited. They just couldn't beat it. I'm not conceited. I'm not conceited. I'm not conceited. I'm not conceited. They just couldn't beat it. Come on, come on. Pick up, pick up. Come on. Oh, f*** it. You want a fresh style? Let me show you. Get, get, get, get. Get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get on my motherfucking phone. Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of it. My wife has been giving me problems, you know, left and right, but you know what? The one thing that's been bothering me the most is... My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby shitting everywhere. My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby shitting everywhere. My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby shitting everywhere. My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby shitting everywhere. Bring me the dagger. Yes, hi, this message is for ID. It's crazy. First of all, when you call me, please don't leave so many fucking messages on my motherfucking phone. I don't have to see your fucking number. You don't have to blow up my motherfucking voicemail. Nigga, I got your message. If I don't pick up the first time, I might be busy. If I don't pick up the second time, I still might be busy. But the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth time, I'm not trying to get back at you. I got your message. I heard your mix. It fucking sucks. Your skills are horrible. Your selection is off. The whole fucking thing is garbage. What the fuck do you think? You think you're gonna revive turntablism? That shit is dead. Do me a favor. Do yourself a favor and stop. Stop fucking DJing. Damn it! We're sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again. Peace, bitch. We'll be right back. It is Fuck Around Fridays here on Grand Theft Audio Radio. This is Jake Meltzer. And I'm Bram Thoman. And we got a whole bunch of face news. It's face news. It's face news. It's news about faces and shit like that. Okay, well, let's kick this off with... Good bump. Thank you. You make him up on the spot. I know that you do. It's not quite as good as the song I'm going to debut later. No, that's going to be awesome. Going to love it. So you... Okay, what's the story about Brad Pitt? What's going on with him? Aside of the fact that he's going to finally get married to his longtime girlfriend, Angelina Jolie. Nah, he's going to leave her before that happens. He's got too many babies now. Can't do that. They're like chains, balls and chains on his leg. He's not going anywhere. Balls and chains with little balls. Yep. That is sad. For some reason, man, he has been chosen to be the new face of the perfume Chanel No. 5. Now, that's like a chick thing, right? I believe so. Like, why are they using a man to sell this ladies' stink product? Now, I have heard a rumor, and I don't know if this is true. It is simply just a rumor, and I hate the fact that I might be dispelling it more. But I have always heard that when Brad Pitt goes out into public, especially if he's going to be out on his own, he's the type of person who fails to bathe for a little while so that he's a little on the stronger scented side to kind of... Maybe people will be a little more, whoa, that was... He's kind of ripe. Don't want to hang around. Is that on purpose? That's something... Somebody told me that it seemed like it. Because how can you, as a star with all the money that you have, not bathe before you go out? Because this part, it was... I don't remember who it was. I mean, again, this is a simple rumor that somebody told me. So maybe this is just saying, hey, Brad, you're a little on the stinky side. Maybe a little Chanel with your own musk will make a new smell. Maybe he just smells more like a man than most people are used to. Maybe. He just got such a big testosterone-filled balls, and he just walks around pumping out the stink. That must be it. Very, very possible. That's how he gets all those beautiful ladies. At least the one. I just don't think that this is the best choice. I mean, if I was selling perfume, I would not think to myself, hey, let's get some about-to-be-married father-of-six-kids person to come out and be the face of my attraction juice. Wouldn't you think his wife would be the one they were pursuing for this? Or a future wife. That would make a lot more sense. Yeah. Why is it Brad and not Angelina? Angelina must have her own scent. And Brad Pitt just hasn't taken the time to create his own cologne. So he'll just be the face of a woman's perfume. Is he even a real celebrity? Because all celebrities have their own perfume, right? Right. Britney Spears has some type of stink juice that you're supposed to put on you to make you not smell so skanky. Yeah. And how many sports stars have put out their own scent? Michael Jordan has had his. Hold on. Michael Jordan doesn't really deserve to be in this conversation. His cologne was magnificent. It was one of the best I'd ever smelled. Did you ever buy it? Well, no. I actually never smelled it either. But the man is just regal, you know? So I can understand. His probably smells like a unicorn and like a Huffle lump jizzed into like a jug together and they shook it up really good. And then they just kind of sprayed it around the place. And spritzed it all over? Spritzed. Only... Spritzed is only going to be the seventh gayest word that we see on the show today. Probably. I'm from the future. I can tell. That is a gainfully applied word. I'm not going to use the word gain. Okay. So how about face story number two? Face story number two. It's right before number three. It's called number two. It's about a face. Which face are we going with? Because I don't remember which one was our number one. We just went through. I don't remember what we said number one was going to be. Was it? Your number one was supposed to be Kobe Bryant's face mask. Oh. I thought that was number three. No, that was number one. Well, okay. So Kobe Bryant had to wear that face mask because of the broken bone in his face plate a couple months ago, right? That was awesome. That girl really defended that rape very well that time. She certainly did. Definitely had to make him have to wear that for a while. But that wonderful little mask sold for... Was this the clear one or the black one? I believe it was the clear one was the one that was sold here. It was put up for auction and the proceeds did go to help the homeless here in Los Angeles. But someone decided to pay $67,000 for this mask. Dang, that's a lot of money. But you can't ever get that money back on something. Like that's not going to go up in value. No. Even with his... I'm sure that Kobe was nice enough to autograph it. And there's a certificate of authenticity that comes... Does the face mask refuse to pass the ball? Like the real Kobe Bryant? Yeah, I think that's what made it possible. He needed that mask to heighten his ability to hold onto the ball with it. I mean, do you think that this was bought by a fan or somebody who was trying to eventually make more money on it? No, I think it's probably by a fan. I wouldn't be surprised if it's something you wind up seeing in some kind of like sports bar someplace where there's a sports bar owner who bought that because he's such a huge Laker. Kobe Bryant fan that he could put that in a big plastic case and put a plaque underneath it and it's going to have his signature on it and it'll sit on a wall. And, you know, I guess it might eventually increase in value when he does enter the Hall of Fame and when he passes away 30 to 50 years from now, whenever that may be. You know, memorabilia of people of his caliber will gain some value. And it could go up in value. Let's say that in the future that we can't find it. Any plastics for recycling. And you have to find something that has been like infested with sweat and snot. I mean, then... I'm fairly certain it got cleaned. I don't think... That takes the value down a lot. Really? You think the sweat and the blood and the tears and the snot that came dribbling out of his nose into that, it would still be there? Yeah. I don't think so. Kobe Bryant doesn't want a clone made out of that stuff. I mean, as much as I hope that they wash it before they send it to the winner, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. If you had the $67,000 and we're such a fan and we're thinking of purchasing it, would it be a deal breaker if it didn't have all of that wonderful stuff on it? Could I instead spend that money on buying Chris Bergman's computers? Because that's going to have more value to them in the end. Do you think so? I just took down a dude and this was just something that this guy wore for a couple of weeks. Right. I think there's more value memorabilia-wise out of Chris Brown's... There's definitely going to be more jokes out of it for sure. Oh, I'm sure that's true. I mean, it's going to ruin this guy's life. It's going to follow him around forever. I mean, even after you're dead, people still joke about this stuff and they still reference it. I mean, Michael Jackson, you're going to be dead for 100 years and people are still going to be going with the Kmart blue light special, boys pants are half off jokes. I mean, it's just once it gets into like the public zeitgeist, that's what you are and that's what you do. Mm-hmm. That's what... At this point, he will be labeled... I mean, hey, just look at Kobe. He's labeled as a rapist. Yeah. And that has followed him... I think we've only referenced it like seven times today. That's only... And that's today. It's just today. This week, even before any of this stuff came up, it still came up. It still came up, of course. Okay, so like to me, the biggest face news of the week is there's a pretty popular punk band out there called Against Me. Mm-hmm. And the lead singer for it is this dude, Tom Gable. And he's a... He's a 30-plus-year-old dude who... He's married. He has a couple of kids and like the... You know, kind of like the normal life. Right. And he announced this week that he grew up with gender dysmorphia, which is a condition in which one feels trapped in the wrong gender's body. So he's now... It's what Chaz Bono had, right? Yeah. Right. So this is just the reverse of it. Like he is now going to go through gender reassignment... Yeah. And he has started already taking the female hormones and has undergone the electrolysis to now live as a woman. He's like a famous person in the public eye that has a fan base that... Yeah. I don't know how much the punks are going to follow him behind this. It is a pretty punk rock thing to do. It's... Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it just seems so... I mean, this is... I can't think of any other entertainer in the music industry that's ever come out with... I mean, Chaz Bono, yes, he shares... He shares son slash daughter. So that's close. But this is the first musician to actually, you know, and a popular musician to come out and say this. That's just crazy. I just can't imagine having to feel like that. Like, and how long do you... How long does it take for a person to feel like they are trapped in the wrong gender before they realize it and then move forward like this? I mean, obviously 30 some odd years for this. I mean, I'm not a big fan of this musician, but I just... When did it first start? I mean, that's just... It just kind of... I guess there have been a couple of other musicians who have done this. You have formerly somebody known as David Palmer, who was a keyboardist in the band Jethro Tull, and he transitioned from male to female back in 2004 and became D. Palmer. Wow. So it has happened before. That's just really interesting. I... But again, it's just... What an odd... Just to have that diagnosis. How long did it take? It's a self-diagnosis. There's no... I'm sure there's no... You don't think there's anything in the DSMB? I'm going to guess that there's not. I mean, I've always felt that I suffer from like chubby dysmorphia. I'm like a skinny dude stuck in a fat dude's body. Oh, okay. So it's the same idea, but you're not going to go to a... A psychiatrist, they're going to tell you that. Right. No, no, no, not that one. They're not going to... Do you think they're going to tell you the other one either? Also that you have gender dysmorphia. I mean, that seems like it has to be something that comes from the inside. Like a doctor can't tell you that you feel... Well, you're probably seeing a therapist. I can tell, Brent, after talking to you for such a very long time, that you feel like you are a woman who is trapped in the man's body. Does this happen? No. It's more like, hey, doctor, I really hate my dick and I wish I had a vagina. Like, oh, okay, well... You must be suffering from gender dysmorphia. That is likely to have happened. But for him to just come out and diagnose it, like, no, it's... You can't go in there and there's no test you take for it. It's not like you pee on this stick and you have AIDS. I mean, you pee on this basket of fruit and now you find out that you want to be a woman. Basket of fruit? Excellent place to pee. You've never done that? No. Just that one time at that. At the Grand Hotel. Where? But I was drunk. Because that is a good place to pee. Okay, so our last face story. One of the weirdest faces in all of Hollywood. Just, I don't know what happened to him. I mean, I know that he used to look pretty normal and I guess he had some accident or something. But I have a very hard time looking at and especially listening to Gary Busey. Gary Busey. This guy is just a nutbag on... Highest levels possible. So, you brought in this story. Yeah, I absolutely love this. Actually, do you have the sound bit? I sure do. Oh, I think I don't really have to say anything. I think Gary can say it all himself if you just listen to this. What do you have to say about that, Mr. Busey? Piranha 3DD. Hi, I'm Gary Busey. Hi, I'm Kermit the Frog. You throw the dynamite in the pool, it blows up, piranhas float to the surface, and you pick up the dynamite. You pick up the dynamite. You pick them up and you fling them like little fish frisbees. And they'll sail through the air and the rats will eat them when they're dead. That is a brilliant plan. Rats, vermin, squirrels, mice, maybe even a badger or a wolverine would get a piranha. I'm glad he's not discriminating against the badgers and the wolverines. And as long as you talk about regular badgers and not honey badgers. Because honey badgers do what they want. Strike that. Strike that. Bleh. Humans are toys, pieces of meat, a Chateaubriand, a filet mignon, a ribeye steak, surf and turf. See the movie so you won't see piranhas showing up at your house dressed as... however they want to dress. They're still piranhas. Just watch the damn movie. Like I hate it. Insane. I guess Holstein, Jersey, Heifer, Sondergertudi, Brahma. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Like charilai. Wait, I might be well on my road to crazy bucey-ness because I make these weird sounds and talk in funky ways too, so I'm getting a little afraid here. Yeah, but you haven't done it on camera yet. That's true. Just on the air. Only because no one will put a camera in front of me. I hope you're understanding me because I'm not. Hey! Quiet! Quiet! I don't know what you're saying. What the fuck happened to this guy's teeth? I mean, he used to have a regular mouth, right? I think so. With regular teeth in it? And then had his son, you know his son, Jake Busey? He has the same messed up funky teeth mouth. I mean, did they both go in for caps from the Chicklet Corporation? There was a special where it's buy one set, get the second set free. So they went in together and got the best deal possible. You messed... Bye! Okay. You gotta take a breather. I'm done. All I have to get up every now and then to fart. F-A-R-T is feeling a rectal transmission. And this cow felt a rectal transmission. I love those things he does where he takes the first, takes all the letters from a word and he makes up some crazy thing. Feeling a rectal transmission. That's awesome. You'll probably be writing me a, a pen letter asking me to get out of the business. But I'm not going anywhere. Okay. I gotta go now because the cows are calling me home. The cows are calling me home. Good God. Do you see why? I mean, there's nothing else to report on that. It's, that's just pure fun right there. I'll see the movie. So, so you won't see Piranhas showing up at your house dressed as a... Well, I love the fact that he, that he, he's talking about the, the hillbilly fishing. However they want to dress up. They're still Piranhas. Yeah. Just, just watch the damn movie. Really weird. You know that the fishing trips over when dad pulls out the dynamite. That's probably true. I'm not a good fisherman. I've always thought that like, that's probably a real effective way of fishing. Oh, it's dude. It's, it's the hillbilly way. You drop an explosive into the water. The shockwave either shocks or kills the fish. And they all, they all float to the top and you just scoop them up and you take them off for dinner. I was, okay. So last year, a new TV show came out. Right. Called Hillbilly Hand Fishing. Right. That's, that's for, that's if you're going after a catfish. And that's where you're sticking your hand inside the mouth of a catfish and then ganking him out of his hole. That's crazy. It's, that does not look fun at all. I mean, there has to be some ability for them to be able to bite through your hand or something, right? No, no, no. They, they, they're, they're, they're, they feed on like the, they're bottom feeders. They feed on all the shit that's on the bottom of the thing. They don't have any like big teeth or anything. They don't eat like plants or meat. They just eat the, the, the shit that's on the ground. So they just kind of slurp it up and then shit it out later. So as long as I don't present my bottom to them, I'll be fine. You'll probably be fine. But like for me, my biggest issue with that is like, I would not be able to do that for the simple fact that I don't trust water that I can't see in. Like water that's muddy and shit and you don't know what's like swimming or swimming. Right. And around you. I always, I'm always scared that there's going to be something in that water that I can't see. It's going to get me. Yeah. I'm totally not into that either. That sounds awful. Just not fun. And then, you know, I don't want to have to go under into muddy water and, and shove my hand into a hole and hope that a fish decides that it's going to chomp down enough to let me grab a hold of them and pull them out. It doesn't sound like fun. 100,000% not into that. Awful. Hey, we're going to go to our second break of the show. Um, I think that today we might just have a DJ ID day. I'm totally in love with this dude. We can play all the stuff that we want to. So this is, um, DJ IDs, part-time MC. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know I'm wack At least I'm not annoying I bet Yo dawg Check my music out On the MySpace brand request Writing rhymes are hard, dude Especially this time around Bar 8, out of breath Let me slow down Pitch me in the Hilton Palm Beach with Mr. Milton Smoking cigarettes While his grandmother Beats Hilton Hip-hop is way too serious So let me tell you Why I'm here The elements are saturated In the utmost form of shit Feel it's big on the block But no, I don't cook grass Don't disrespect me, dude Save that for Blue Doll's racist ass But go on, I'll write Tell him ideas And brag I'll be laughing At you MCs Cause you'll never comprehend Prescription I-T-H-2-3 Part-time MCs Superdisc.com T-M-I-A-2-D-C The what? The D-V Way from where you at Regardless I can't rap But you know what? I know I'm wack Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Black bunny is nigga, I'm never flopping Yep, that boy, you better pay attention Walk in the club and my name, they'll meet you Young Eazy, baby, nigga, I'm the truth Heat it up every time I step in the booth I'm hot, damn, I'm hot And niggas hating on me just because they not They like, Eazy, baby, won't you give me a shot Like a stop sign, slip or not, gonna stop Gonna stop I-T-H-2-3, part time MC, super-sick, shaggy M-I-A-2-G-E-T, or what? The D&B, where you from, where you at, regardless I can't rap, but you know what? I know I'm wack Or do I? No, you don't! You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Brant Thoman. All right, you're back with Grand Theft Audio Radio, this is Jake Belcher. And I'm Brant Thoman. And, man, I keep thinking back to this. We're walking through down here into downtown L.A. And I just saw this guy going across the street that was so obviously gay. I mean, just like really gay. Yeah. The colors of the clothes, he was more like, there's no way that a street dude was ever gonna wear this. The style, the way it was worn, the hairstyle itself, the fashionable sunglasses, even the bag. Everything was picture perfect. Yeah, I mean, this dude was... I mean, if this dude was straight, I mean, there's no way I could ever believe it. He would be the most metrosexual man possible, I think. I have this special gift, though. Like, when I look at people, I can tell what song it is they're singing inside their soul as they walk down the street. Yes. And this guy just had this song that was blaring from his head in my mind. His song was like, I've got my lover's sperm in my anus. I've got my lover's sperm in my anus. Like, come to Hollywood to get famous, but I've got my lover's sperm in my anus. Like, he just, he was so proud of the way he was, like, um... And he actually stepped to that tune. Yo, totally. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. The exact personification of that song. I wish that I could just walk around him, walk like 10 feet behind him all day long singing that theme song. The camera right behind so people would see that he's skipping to that tune. Because he totally, totally was. Hey, I think that something's happening to me, man. What's going on? I think that I'm getting this disease from watching all these television shows that makes me think that anyone can sing. There's so many of them now with The Voice and American Idol and X Factor. And America's Got Talent. Just one after the other of basically marginally talented people doing something. One thing that is now a spinoff of these shows, have you heard about this show The Choice? Isn't that like a daytime after the Today Show kind of thing? People do. What The Choice is, sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much, they will make a baby. And then they realize, oh my God, I may not want to keep this baby. Does anyone have $400? Wow. That is the choice. That is the choice. But in television version, The Choice is a show that's just a basic ripoff of The Voice, except for they're doing something completely different. They got rid of the V and put CH. Yeah, that's right. That's the big change. But they do have the spinning chairs with the four celebrity judges sitting in the spinning chairs. And instead of this one, like hearing a voice, like a girl will come out and she'll say something like, hey, I like to give blowjobs and my throat is very loose and I will dance on your lap for no money at all. And then the guy says, either they pull the lever and they turn around and they want to date this chick or they- Oh, it's a dating show. It's a dating show. It's a dating show. So it's just the dating game, but with chairs instead of a wall. Yeah. So the person who you're actually focused on is going to be the person who will be asking the questions, but I don't- Okay, so you have four people sitting there. You have like- Four people. You have Dean Cain, who is like Superman. And then you'll have like The Situation and maybe Taylor Hicks. And then you'll have like the guys from American Idol and like a Kardashian dude, like Rob Kardashian. And they'll sit there in the chair and say, are you ready for your next contestant? And some girl will come out and she'll just be like, hi, my name's Becky and I'm from Montana. I milk cows all day long. And they'll be like, oh, no, like we're not going to pull our choice and our handle and turn around for you. Pulling their handle. Like they're not going to pull their handle for you. Okay. Or you just have somebody comes out and say, hi, I'm Tiffany and- So I don't actually get to see this person. They're just there. The- The judge. The judges. But we do. Yeah, of course we do. But the judges don't get to see this person. Right. They're all basing it off of the questions that they ask. Floodiness of answers and hotness of voice. Wow. And it's always going to be the same four judges? No, they got different people. And there is a Bachelorette version, which is going to have Carmen Electra, Miss USA, Rima Faki, who is, he gets in trouble all the time. Hope Dwarsak, who's just a space case idiot. And Sophie Monk, who's a singer. Mm-hmm. That's the first four girls they've gotten to agree to come in and do this show. And it's all about being able to get a date with them? Yeah. Like, hopefully there'll be one girl who's so much better than the other 11 skanks that they bring out that a couple of the judges will like fight over her. Like, oh no, I want her. No, I want her. How are they going to- Hey, look, you take her butthole and I'll take her mouth. I mean, like, there's only four judges. And like- She could probably, some of these girls could probably take that on. Yes, probably. I mean- They probably had you to get on the show in the first place. I'm sure that that's true. It just seems like it's a blatant rip off of the voice and they're trying to make it look as close to it as possible. I mean, the spinning chairs are the same shape, the same basic idea. Are you even interested in watching this? You know what? Yes. I'll give it one episode because I'm sure it'll be like- They'll do the guy version and the girl version all in the same episode and be able to see how it goes down and I'll go from there. I am a little intrigued because it does, it's like the celebrity dating game. But you're not the celebrity. You get to date a celebrity. Okay, so all these game shows that are on- Or pseudo celebrity. All these game shows that are on where people win, you know, $20,000, $100,000, a million dollars. Is this the worst prize in history, a date with the situation? It's up there. I mean, that is just awful. Or you have like a Carmen Electra who has slept with like Prince, Tommy Lee, the dude who likes to have sex with his sunglasses on, Fred Durst, Vin Diesel. Yeah. Wow. Dennis Rodman. That's right. The bass player from Korn. What was that guy's name? Rob Patterson, I think. Wow. And she was even lesbian for a little while with Joan Jett. So it's like, who wants to stick their dick in that Petri dish? It's just- I mean, I remember one time she was called like- You know this will just lead to, there'll be a gay version of this where it's going to be four guys with a guy who comes out and wants to date one of the guys there. I even wrote a theme song for the show. I got my lover's sperm in my anus. I've got my lover's sperm in my anus. That could be a- That'll be the closing credits. That's the song that will be played when you're chosen. That's the prize song. Dave Navarro was another dude that Electra was with. So she's been with a lot of pretty gross and dirty looking dudes. Yep. She's got taste. Let's hope that- Classy lady. Let's just hope that she's not the one who actually gets the date in the end. Oh, so they'll all get dates in the end. I've got my lover's sperm in my anus. I've got my lover's sperm in my anus. Yes, they probably will all have that happen. Okay, so this was also the final week of The Voice this week. Oh, man. I'm sorry I missed the entire season. Okay, yeah, I did too. And I didn't even find out about this until afterwards. But apparently, one of the people who made it to the last two or three people on the show used to be a co-host with a girl. With one of the judges on the show. And she apparently didn't realize it either. There's this guy whose name is Tony Luca. And he did, he was one of the last two. And he was a co-star with her on the Mickey Mouse Club many, many years ago. And she didn't even realize it. Wow. He knew it the whole time. And he even made comments on it. But she didn't even get what he was saying. And she totally, once she found out who he was, she started dissing him on the air. Like saying bad things like, oh, your version of 99 Problems was derogatory towards women coming from the chick who danced in assless chaps with what looked like shit stains running down the back of her legs. One of those brown streaks that ran down the back. I'm sure that's not derogatory towards women. No, not at all. But she came up to him afterwards and finally apologized. She wanted to clear. She wanted to clear the air and say that she apologized and that she didn't realize what a dramatic thing that she was doing and that she never intended it to be that way, which is just bullshit. Anybody who believes that is a fucking retard. Nice of you to say that now. And thanks for your vote and making sure that I could actually get the win here. Oh, no, wait, you didn't do that. You voted for this marginally talented other dude. Nice. We are getting into that time of the year where you do start getting chalked up with a whole bunch of these other reality shows. And they start bringing in. This is the summer. The summer season's coming. Where they're not going to pay writers to do anything. They're just going to put up as much reality as they can. In your face. And I guess we also get lucky this year that it is the Olympics this summer. Hell yeah. Which is the return of some of the best commercial spots they've had in the last couple of years. Yeah. These. Oh, wait. I hit the wrong super button. I'm not good at this. Okay. So. Morgan Freeman, who does the voice for those Visa commercials. When you wish. Third attempt at a new world record. They fly just a little bit higher. When you scream. They go just a little bit further. Morgan Freeman just brings such a classiness to everything that he does. Like how busy would you have been if you would have tried to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign up to sign on so it's not on the screen. You would have a good chance of watching it. You have to have cartoons or a British accent because you totally like those BBC. I do love the BBC. Top Queer or whatever the name of that show is. Top Queer. That's funny. That's funny, dude. You love it. Yep. I do like Top Gear a lot. Oh. I'm not as familiar with that one. I know you're not. Does British television do the same thing? Do they go into their summer season where they just bring out the little dregs and the garbage? Uh, what they tend to do is there'll be different shows that have aired in England and if they've done well they'll bring them over here. So there's a constant rotation but then you'll get a couple of weeks, you'll get four to six weeks of just replays until the next batch of stuff has come over from across the pond. Wow. So they still show replays on their television there? Because I know in America we try to avoid that like the plague. Yeah. Totally. We hate replays in the United States. Well, on our three main channels we do, ABC, NBC, CBS, you don't see repeats really on those that much. Not anymore. There's too much money to syndicate them out to the smaller networks and since they also all own cable companies, cable stations, they can, for a much cheaper price, just throw that on TBS or KTLA. And in a way that seems backwards. It seems like cable stations own the networks now. It seems like there's more money being bought by these big corporations and like it's not even the broadcast station that is in control anymore. Right. It's, I mean, just look at USA and NBC. I mean, there's, what happens is when NBC goes to stuff for the summer and it's not exciting, you go to USA for all the new series that they're going to be starting up just for the summer. And they're short of run. You're not going to get 13 or 22 episodes. You'll get 8 or 10. Yeah, see, most of those USA shows are pretty much garbage. Royal Pains and In Plain Sight. Actually, Burn notices, pretty good. Burn notice has some good characters. I don't think their stories are all that great or anything. I don't think they really come up with anything that innovates. It's only Bruce Campbell. It's the modern A-team, if you really look at it, because there are four of them and there's a diversity about them and one's an FBI agent, one's a CIA ex-agent and it's just like you're just mixing everybody up and now you're just a team. So, to me, it just reminds me of the A-team. But I still enjoy watching it because it's like you said, it's Bruce Campbell and some of the other actors that are in there that just make fun. Nobody knows any of their names? Nope. Darn it, Fiona. I used to know her name, the one that plays his love interest in it. But even him, I can't think of his first name. No, just Bruce Campbell. He's the only one that counts. Yep, he is. Love that guy. Love that guy on Fuck Around Friday. I've got my lover's sperm in my anus. God, it just gets stuck in my brain. It certainly has. I can't do anything about it. It's awful. Okay, so this week the Beastie Boys had a copyright infringement claim go against them. Going all the way back to their first two albums, Licensed to Ill and Paul's Boutique. Okay. So there's this other band who came out and then called the Trouble Funk. And they have now waited since 1987, 25 years later to put in their copyright infringement claim. Have they not heard? Anything off of Licensed to Ill in the last 25 years? They were obviously living in a cave, creating their own music. Two weeks ago they're sitting around and they're listening to Hold It Now and they're like, wait a second. I think that that's our song that they're playing. That's a long time to go. Yeah. Like where was this in 1988 when the album was selling? They must not have noticed, I guess. Because you're supposed to follow those things as quickly as possible. Do the cease and desist, do the whole keeping it out of the public eye. I mean, after 25 years you decide to finally do this, it certainly seems like you're trying to take advantage of the fame that these guys have garnered. Do you think that there's any part of them that was like, oh man, you know, I bet these guys are probably all broken up now with the passing of MCA. So they're like, let's sneak in like a lawsuit right now. And maybe they won't even fight it. They'll just give some money so they don't have to deal with us. And it's total bullshit. It could be. They just want to get a fat settlement check. I mean, because I'm sure they're pretty broken up about the passing of MCA. They're like, that is a heavy toll on them at the moment. Yeah. Probably just easier to say, hey, give these guys Especially since it happened a week after MCA passed. This lawsuit comes out. It's well, at least he won't have to suffer through it. Yeah. He went through enough suffering. Yeah. It's very sad. Let's see if I can find out more about these guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The name of the group was called the Trouble Funk. What kind of name is that? It's not even a real group. The Trouble Funk. It's a Trouble Funk coming at you with some song you've never heard of before. Do we have it here? I'm trying to find it. You know me. I can find anything. Yeah. It's amazing what you can pull up on the computer these days. Yeah. I'm pretty good like that. Love the internet. I love the internet. You know what the internet does? It lets us express ourselves. Indeed. And I'm good with that. Sorry. I'm trying to grab it up. Drop the bomb baby. Okay. I did find it. Excellent. Okay. So this song they are saying is the ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... That is totally the busy voice song, isn't it? It sounds Like it. That is Holdynow Holdyn Hold it now, hold it now, hit it. I'll drop the bomb now. I'll drop the bomb now. We'll drop the bomb. Drop the bomb. And we go a little bit farther and deeper into it. Drop the bomb. Drop the bomb. Drop the bomb. On the tape recorder, boo-yah. Drop the bomb. Drop. That totally sounds like that Beastie Boys song, especially that opening at the intro. There's no way this is not that Beastie Boys song. I mean, it's poorly played and not as well done as the Beastie Boys eventually do it, but that is the beat that they totally took for that song. There's no way in my mind that I believe that it's not now. It's crazy. But still, 25 years later, you decide to file the lawsuit against Beastie Boys. Against this band. It's just... Isn't there, excuse me, like a statute of limitations on how long you have to... Or can you just do it at any point? It just seems like... I don't know how long it goes. Say what? Say what? Say what? Oh, yeah. Ow. Oh, got to stop it for copyright infringement. Jump forward again. Hey, dawg. Say what? I want a go-go. Hey, people. What you want to do? You want a go-go? Now. Okay, so they say that this Say What song is another basis for it, but I don't hear it on that one, but I definitely do on the other. So they're probably going to have to pay some cash and keep themselves out of court because that's totally a rip-off. Yeah. I mean, this is the way albums used to be. There used to be tons of samples of other people's stuff, but... You don't really hear that that much anymore. Yeah, you really don't. Everybody is so butthurt and wanting to make sure that no one's going to get over on me and no one's going to rip me off. You know what? I'm going to put an offer out there right now. If anybody wants a sample, I've got my lover's calm in my anus, you are allowed. Like, you can do whatever you want with it. You can... Remix it. Come on. The Puff Daddy remix, that'd be awesome. Please, Puff Daddy. Please come and ruin my song. Please. Make it so that it is unlistenable to me. Unlistenable. Most of the time, that stuff is unlistenable to me. Just clicks and whistles, that's all you get? Vroom! You just can't replace the human touch. When you want your lover's calm in your anus, you have to be able to pull on an emotion. You can't get that out of a machine that just chops it up and squeegees it around. And squeegees it around. That's what I said. Wow. Dick squeegees. Wow, man. There's just some wonderful visuals popping up in today's show. Hey, you know, I try my best to gross everybody out every day, and that's what I went with today. Good job. Congrats. I have been grossed out now. I'm sorry, man. No, no, it's the squeegeeing is what finally did it. I mean, should we do something that has, like, some socially redeeming story now? Why? To offset it? It's Fuck Around Friday. Why on earth would we do that? Because I'm starting to feel bad. No, no, don't feel bad. I'm just saying that was the final one that kind of was like, man, squeegeeing it all around. Mm. I've got my lovers calm in my anus. I've got my lovers calm in my anus. I could do that for hours. I am going to do it for hours. As soon as I'm out of the studio today, I'm probably going to go on about a five-hour singing binge of doing it in every type of voice I can possibly come up with. Yeah. I'm looking forward to the train ride home with that. The new verses that you'll be writing. Yeah. It's either that or it's the Andale, andale, ipa, ipa. That's the song. Speedy Gonzales sings. That's ready to sing. You know, my story, my songs have a way of just getting stuck in your brain. That one does for sure. I was saying, I can't, I'm not even going to say what I was singing to my wife last night. It's so offensive. It's just the worst. Let's just say that it involved my cat jumped off of something and it reminded me of the jumpers from 9-11. Like, um, out of the windows. And I was going just, uh, yeah. Did you see the, um, South Park with, um, Montaquia in it? Of course. Work, Mexican work. Yes. That's such a great, that was such a great episode. Montaquia. I am Montaquia, and I am going back down to Mexico. Jump. World Trade Center. Work or just jump with the kitty. Wow. It was, it was bad. Okay. Uh, some stories this week that we didn't touch on that I would like to before the week is out and we're down to our last 50 minutes, 50 minutes and it's a straight jack off city out of the studio and I can do whatever the fuck I want again. Okay. So you have, uh, the scream that sold, right? The famous, uh, painting. Pastel painting, right? Yeah. I mean, it's not even that great of a picture. No. The only reason it even means anything now is because it's been parodied so many times by other people that you... Countless t-shirts and cheap prints from the print store and... Yeah, I think they must have given up their rights to it for nothing because every shitty frame that you want to buy, like, the, the scream is in that picture, in the, in that frame. That's just, uh, one of the standard things that they come with. But the original actually nabbed $119 million sale price. Does it say who purchased it? No, it's been, it's a private collector. They have not come public yet, but they probably will. $119 million. Who ha, I mean, it's, it's for a painting. Shouldn't it just be in a museum to begin with? You would think so. I mean, if, if, if I had found out that the Getty had spent a hundred and, uh, 130 million, 131 million is what you said? 119. 119, I'm sorry, $119 million for that and I'd be able to get to go see it at the Getty Center, then I'm all for it. But a private collector is going to keep it on his wall above his fireplace and no one will ever get to see it but him. Yeah. And does that mean because you own it, do you have the, the, the rights to? You do. You do. So he gained, the person who purchased that also garners all of the, uh, printing rights so now it won't come in shitty frames anymore because they'll want to charge like seven cents or something. Exactly. Well, I think you can still parody it. Right. there's a pretty, um, popular, uh, Simpsons t-shirt with Homer in the same position kind of doing the, the Homer scream. Right. And, um, but he, he doesn't have any rights to those. Right. But yeah, because, because those aren't parodies or you're just taking something and making and changing it to yourself so it becomes your own, uh, intellectual property. But for, for I guess actual prints like that, they'll have to sell that and they'll be able to sell that off. So that sold for $119 million. This was part of the, the one day record, um, for, um, money taken for Sotheby's, uh, on an art auction. They brought in a total of $319 million. $319 million. In a single day. In a single day. For just art being sold. Just art. And it was all Impressionist and modern art. Wow. Wow. That's gotta be a record in itself to the fact that just in that, uh, in that genre of painting. Mm-hmm. Because, uh, that's, I mean, I, I know that Impressionist work have, have, uh, have garnered, uh, sums like that in the past but, uh, nothing that, that's this modern. That's, that's pretty impressive. So, $100 million. $100 million. Who's got that kind of money? Who's spending that money? And, and the, the way the economy, the economy is, is really investing in that piece of art the way to go. Now, they didn't say who, um, bought it but they do know who sold it. Uh, the person that sold it was this guy named Peter Olson who was the son of the original owner that got the painting and he is gonna use that money to, um, build a museum that is used to show Munch who was the painter of it. A museum to show off Munch's other works. So, at least like the money that, um, came in is gonna be used towards creating something for the city and a couple of jobs and they're gonna use it as an art center and a hotel in the city called Hevistan, Norway. Oh, okay, up in, of course, up in Norway where Munch was from. And, you know, I wouldn't be surprised as once that, that, um, museum is open that they could potentially pay for a, uh, like a leasing of the painting and have it come back over and have a special viewing of it at the Munch museum. Uh, and they get paid millions of dollars for however long that they'll have it up for display. But, uh, I mean, at least, at least they're, they're taking that money and doing something positive for, I mean, in regards to the artist and the fame that he garnered from his artwork. So, I mean, and, and I like art. I mean, I like looking at it. I, I went to a friend's art opening a little while ago and I bought a piece there. I mean, it wasn't the most expensive piece in the world. It was like $25, I mean, cheap as hell, really. And I can support doing something like that, but just this idea that any three foot by two foot piece of canvas is worth $119 million is insane to me. I mean, I, have you ever, have you ever actually bought like a piece of art? Like, um, I know you have your comic book stuff up, so I guess that stuff counts. Oh, yeah, I've spent some money on, on comic book stuff like that. Like, what, because you have like some panels from some. Right. Uh, but I only paid $20 a page for those. Uh-huh. Back when, uh, I was collecting comic books, you know, I, I did, uh, get to meet several artists and, and writers from different comic books and, uh, I bought a couple of pages from a Sandman episode, uh, issue from back in the 1990s, uh, because I knew the artist and he autographed them for me and I, I had them matted and put up, so, but like I said, $20 a page. And then the, the matting and the, and the framing cost more than the pages did. Um, so, I'd say that's probably the most I've spent. I mean, I've, I've got other, like the, the other one piece of art I have, I actually won in a, in a, uh, a raffle at a, at an art, uh, at an art show. So, uh, everything else is, I really don't have many other pictures up. I, I just can't imagine even spending a thousand dollars on something. I mean, it's, um, it's just going to go up on the wall. Yeah. I mean, you go to like these, uh, there's a couple of art places here in the LA area. There's one in Monrovia. There's this one photographer and I guess he's kind of famous for plant painting on a black canvas and then having really like shiny 3D realistic things on there. And, uh, you look at those pieces and they're like $10,000 or something. I'm like, I just don't understand the mindset that even a $10,000 purchase to be able to cover up a tiny little area in your house is worth it. I mean, buy another car, buy, um, you're a part of Kobe's rape mask. I mean, something that has some value to it. Um, when I was up in, uh, Tahoe several years ago, I can't remember the name of the artist, but he was, he was famous for drawing, um, or painting, uh, pictures with like martinis and little olives. This is the same painter I'm talking to you about. Is that who you're talking about? The exact same guy, yeah. And, and going into his studio there that he had in Tahoe and seeing that, you know, $4,000 for a, a little 12 by 12 picture of an olive, uh, sitting on the edge of a martini glass. Uh, and just like, wow, I, I just couldn't see myself spending four grand on something so, uh, I mean, it's, it's, it's great. They're, they're very fun to look at, but I, I don't see myself spending that money on, on something that's going to go on my wall. His name is Michael Goddard. Yeah. And, um, same, exact same guy I'm talking about. Like his, his work is striking, you know, but 10,000 bucks for that, hell no. I mean, I can buy a couple pounds of weed for that or something, something that matters to me. Right. Be able to make some more money off of that. Yeah, I'm not going to buy some olive in a shaking himself, not stirring himself. I mean, they're all like weird little concepts of how you get alcohol into a glass. Right. And the olive dancing around it. Yeah, that olive is, he's like a Morgan Freeman and Visa. He's everywhere. It makes it, he's, Visa and Morgan Freeman, they're everywhere. My ass is everywhere. Indeed, Mr. Ford. Indubitably, indeed. Okay, so, um, we're going to go to another break. This time, instead of having a little bit of music, I think that we should go with, um, with some comedy. All right, some funny, funny for fuck around Fridays. You know, always a big fan of, um, Monsieur Russ Goutin. Um, and we have a couple new tracks from him that, um, I actually haven't even heard yet, so I'm always down for that. All right, so we're going to premiere something new from Uncle Russ. Uh, new for our audience and new for us too. So this is Russ Goutin from back in NYC. Um, this is one of, um, his new sets called, um, Chinese Kids, PSA, Philps, and Weed. I think. Now listen, listen, I want to get serious for a moment, everybody, because that's what being at a comedy club is all about. Okay? I don't, I don't want anybody here to get the wrong idea, okay? I'm not totally cold and heartless. I feel stuff, okay? Sometimes too much. Sometimes I let things outside of me affect me too much, okay? But like, I've been working with my therapist, Big Mike, and I've been making a lot of breakthroughs in therapy, as you can clearly tell. And I know that every time I see a pair of Nikes, I know that some Chinese kid in a sweatshop somewhere died stitching up those awesome sneakers, Big Mike. But, you know, I'm trying to be a more glass-haleful person. I'm trying to be a more positive person. It's not all tragic, right, Big Mike? I mean, some of those little Chinese kids in those sweatshops are probably little jerk-offs with, like, bad attitude. Who are all disrespectful and stuff, right? So it's not all tragic, right? And ladies, you'll know what I'm talking about. Some of the stitching on my Sean John hoodie that I got at TJ Maxx is quite irregular, so... Half of these little Chinese jerk-offs aren't even that good at what they're supposed to be good at, Big Mike. So, you know, thanks a lot, Ping. Thanks for making me seem cold and heartless in front of my new black best friend, Big Mike, you know? Can't even stitch me up a simple hoodie. God, you know? But I'll tell you what, everybody, I'm worried about the kids. I'm worried about the Chinese kids in the sweatshop. I'm worried about all the kids here in America because everyone keeps trying to fuck the kids. Why is everyone getting... You know, I know a lot of celebrities have their causes, like, save the whales, save the environment. I'm gonna be like, hey, I'm Rose Kooten. Stop fucking those kids! The more you know. Do-do-do-do! So don't blame me, okay, Big Mike? You know, nobody's perfect. All right? You know who else is also not perfect, okay, everybody? Athletes are not perfect. I'm sorry to spoil the surprise for you, okay? Michael Phelps is not perfect, okay, everybody? So he smoked a little bit of weed. It's not like smoking that weed made him faster, okay? Weed is not a performance-enhancing drug, okay? And so he smoked a little bit of weed. He snuck Chris Rock in New Jack City, like, y'all got some weed? And some crap? And Olympic-sized pools? Do I... Do I have to practice? I suck your dick! I suck your dick! Weed is the least that Michael Phelps promised Big Mike. Have you ever heard that kid try to talk in an interview? Sounds like he's got Billy Dee Williams nuts in his mouth. Like, oh, I was just trying to win the race. Oh. Get that kid the fastest speech pathologist in the world if you want to help that kid out. Okay? And total side question, Big Mike. Why do they always make the kids that can't speak for shit go see a speech pathologist? Right? That is funny that they can't do that, right? My little brother who's here tonight, he used to go to one. He's, like, a little bit retarded. Not to say I'm clearly baby retarded, but, like, on a scale from one to retarded, he is a solid four. You hear that? I moved you up from a three to a four, Jonathan. It's all happening for you tonight. And my little brother used to go to one and I'd be like, hey, Jonathan, where you going? He'd be like, I'm going to the speech pathologist. To the way, ha, ha, ha. Rather than go next to me, I said, I'm going to the speech pathologist. To the way, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, and I would just laugh at your retardedness, Jonathan. Oh, memories. The way, the way, the way. But, Jonathan, don't blame yourself. You're not the only retard in America, okay? You know who's also retarded? All these Jesus freak athletes, you know, like... Ladies and gentlemen, I've got more. I've got one more set of cheap applause out of you tonight. I don't know if you know this, but tonight is a big fundraiser for charity, so give it up for yourselves for being so charitable. I'm sorry to say, but the reason that we're all back to anything is because my parents reacted to me and was over-totally disappointed in what the situation was. Ladies and gentlemen, my parents are here tonight. Where are they at? Where are they at? So they can get to their next gig in a basement. All right? But I am tired of people like me and some of you and celebrities casting in our tragedies and calling it charity. You know what I'm talking about? I heard the other week, sir, and this is true, Lenny Kravitz is going to go do a benefit concert for the people suffering from the oil spill in the Gulf Coast. Haven't those people suffered enough? You know, first Katrina, then the oil spill, Harry Connick Jr., Will and Grace, and now Hurricane Kravitz is coming doing all the hits. Leave those people alone! This show brought to you by the Army Corps of Engineers. Way to go. Thanks, Hurricane Kravitz. And they keep making songs for people in Haiti. Those people don't need songs, they need tents. Ask Sean Penn. I saw him on the news. He was like, eh. This is my Sean Penn, sir. It's a work in progress. But he is serious. And we are the world. They recorded that piece of shit. Do you realize how much it cost to just get the craft services to record that piece of shit? They could have gotten every motherfucker to do it. They could have gotten to do it. A tent, a technic shot, and a frickin' blanket. You know what I'm talking about? Sean, you know, you better ask somebody. And by somebody, I mean your ass song. He's very knowledgeable about this stuff. And Mother Earth is bleeding us out, by the way. That bitch is done with us, okay? Volcanic ash, the oil spills, the earthquakes, the mudslides, Mother Earth is done. She is so over us right now. And I watch a lot of movies. I watch a lot of movies. I watch a lot of movies about the apocalypse like we all do, right? And I'm always wondering the same thing when I'm watching those movies. Why would you want to survive the apocalypse? So I can live in a tent with no plumbing? There's nothing to do in the apocalypse. There's no spray tent. There's no 24-hour fitness. There's no DVR. There's nothing to eat. There's nothing to eat in the apocalypse. Not that that affects me. I can't eat shit. So I'm ready. I'm ready for the apocalypse. All right? But there's no friggin' Wendy's in the friggin' apocalypse. You know what there is, sir? There is mutant zombie vampires that will eat your brains and your heart for nerves. And that's why when I watched that movie, I am led to Will Smith. I didn't feel bad when that friggin' dog died. What the fuck else are those mutant zombie vampires supposed to eat? You tell me, Will Smith. That mutant zombie vampire gotta eat, son. Great, I'll survive the apocalypse so it can be me and Nicolas Cage left alone together on Earth. They told me all of his wacky stories about shooting National Treasure 2. You know the one clue in the second act? That's all me. That's all Nick. Me and Nicolas Cage left alone together on Earth. You know, I'll probably find a way not to pay me taxes, sir. A lot. I've met in the apocalypse movie. There's always a lady trying to survive the apocalypse with her boyfriend. Ladies, I don't know what that's about. Why would you want to survive the apocalypse? What, so I can have the only vagina for 8,000 square miles? So Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, will kill my frickin' boyfriend and this entire village of survivors will gangbang me to repopulate this fucking place? No, thank you, ladies. Thanks a lot, Nicolas Cage. I'll tell you what, Nicolas Cage. You go survive the apocalypse, I'm gonna watch from my balcony. The world's gonna end and I'm finally gonna have a perfect fuckin' credit score. I have a way better credit score than you. Thanks for nothing, Nick. Nick Cage. You know what his real name is? He's a Coppola. He's Nick Coppola. Oh, how'd you get that acting job? He's a frickin' Coppola. My dad works at Radio Shack. I'm never gonna be in anything. Anything. You are listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You are listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. We're listening to Skid Row Studios. I'm not doing it with you. Please do it with me. Fuck that. Will you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios? At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. Okay. You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Grant Thoman. Yeah, it's a wild intro. I'm glad to have him back on our old intro. Yeah, it's kind of nice. Dig it all day long, baby. So welcome back to Grand Theft Audio Radio. This is Jake Belcher. And I'm Grant Thoman. We're here at Skid Row Studios. Fuck Around Fridays. Hey, so, you know, here we are on Fuck Around Fridays, and I'm sitting here looking at our soundboard. I'm like, what do these other shows play? By the way, Scott Walker, speaking of anti- Scott Walker, anti-borger. What show is talking about that? Like, that's so serious, man. Yeah, breaking news out of North Korea. North Korea has launched that long-range rocket, a rocket powerful enough. That's terrible. Like, that's not- I'm sorry. Can you see that? Oh, sorry. I had my mic off. There you go. That's the weekly wrap-up, and what they do is they play a lot of political clips, and they make fun of all the politicians. It's actually pretty funny. Oh, I'm sure it is. But out of context. The situation remains highly precarious. I mean, who knows what this is? Yeah, it's pretty random. What the fuck? Will you have sex with me? What more can you tell us about the restrictions placed on Sean Payton? I didn't say anything about it. I just wanted to know if we could bone, you know? Newt Gingrich. I am not having sex with Newt Gingrich. I don't care what you say. I mean, look, if I had to bend over and take it from- An emotional day outside the U.S. Supreme Court. No, it'd be an emotional day at my butthole. Hey, this is awful. I totally want to play with these other people's buttons. And a new report suggests over-sexed body behavior in the Secret Service was not limited to Columbia. Yeah. All over the world. Well, maybe I'll have to turn into it. Stonia, when is that show on again? Sundays from 4 to 5. All right. Well, I have nothing else- Pacific time. Pacific time. I have nothing else going on in that time. So, um- I should do my best to tune in. Yeah, tune in. And check it out, baby. Bring it up on my Stitcher application on my smartphone and listen. I guess that's a pretty popular service. Mm-hmm. Someone's probably listening to us on it right now. I wouldn't be surprised when you go to the L.A. area and click on that button after you've opened up the app. Skid Row Studios is right at the top. So- Very nice. Makes it nice and easy to tune into our show. So, if you haven't downloaded it, it's Stitcher. And I'm sure you can find it at the App Store for the iPhone. And I know you can get it for the Android. So, you can listen to any Wi-Fi signal that's out there with it. So, we're coming up now on graduation season for colleges. Yep. Dads and grads are coming up, but it's grads first. And there's a long tradition of people giving awesome speeches for graduations. I guess it's the commencement speech. Right. And I have a couple of them here from the last couple of years that I thought were particularly awesome. I mean, we can take a listen and get some type of- Yeah. Feeling for what the young person is supposed to feel when they head off into the workplace. Right. This starts off our first one with Ellen DeGeneres. Oh, boy. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowan. Do you think she's thankful? Yes. Distinguished guest, undistinguished guest, you know who you are. Honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher. So, and thank you to all the graduating class of 2009. I realize most of you are hungover and have splitting headaches and haven't slept since Fat Tuesday, but you can't graduate till I finish, so listen up. That's going to be a fun place to be, like, where, I mean, you're the only person here that anybody particularly cares to hear about. No one came to hear the dean or the- The valedictorian or- No one gives a shit about that. You just want to hear. You want to hear the fun stuff. Right. When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. Then I went to look up what commencement meant. Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Porsches and they're all written in Australian. Porsche her- Girlfriend. Lover. Lover. So, I had to break the word down myself to find out the meaning. I'm going to use come first. I'm going to be like, you are not paying attention to what the word is. Commencement. Common and cement. Common cement. You commonly see cement on sidewalks. Sidewalks have cracks and if you step- Come and cement. Come cement. Scent. Come cement scent. Step on a crack, you break your mother's back. But if you shoot it in her crack- She's going to be very disappointed. Very disappointed. So, there's that. But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement. It's not that different from how she's pronouncing it. Right. So, she comes out. She later on goes to say that when she was your age, she really thought that she knew who she was, but she had no idea. For example, when she was your age, she was dating men. She didn't realize until much later that- So, what she's really saying is that when you get older, most of you are going to be gay. Okay. Most of you are going to figure it out at that point. Yeah. That's right. Out of college is when you're going to figure that out. Our next one to get a little bit of a taste of is one of my favorites. I'm sure you can tell me who this is. Already. I cannot remember hearing anything so sad. Oh, it's Conan O'Brien. Dartmouth, you have an inferiority complex and you should not. You have graduated more great fictitious Americans. You have graduated more great fictitious Americans. You have graduated more great fictitious Americans. You have graduated more great fictitious Americans than any other college. Meredith Gray of Gray's Anatomy. Pete Campbell from Mad Men. Michael Corleone from The Godfather. In fact, I look forward to next year's valedictory address by your esteemed classmate, Count Chocula. Who would you most like to have given a commencement address? Let's see. I think of somebody who... I definitely want a comedian. Someone to make me smile before I take my last steps off of the college campus and out into the real world. You don't want someone who's all... Right. Someone who's serious. I don't... You know, no Hillary Clinton. I don't want to hear your commencement speech at my school. She is one of the most requested people this year to come and give them that. I would believe that this year. Yes. And then some of the people who actually are, no real surprise. I mean, Obama does one every year. Now, the president almost always does one, no matter who it is. First Lady Michelle Obama is doing one. And Mitt Romney will be doing it, too. I'm sure. I'm sure. Yeah. And I'm sure that Joe Biden will wind up doing one. And at some point, we'll hear about Bill Clinton doing a commencement speech at probably his alma mater. Okay. So here's some of the people in the schools they'll be speaking at. President Obama will be speaking at Barnard College in New York City. Okay. On May 14th. He's also going to be speaking at Joplin High School in Joplin, Montana. Hmm. And at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs on May 23rd. All key states for running for president as well. Word. First Lady Michelle Obama is going to be speaking at Virginia Tech, North Carolina A&T, and also at Oregon State University, where her brother is the college basketball coach. Oh, okay. So that makes some sense. Yeah. That's kind of cool. Joe Biden will be doing it at the U.S. Military Academy. He's also going to speak at the Cypress Bay High School in Western Florida and Tallwood High School in Virginia Beach. Interesting. That's pretty big gets for high schools. Mm-hmm. Hey, man. Again, I'm sorry. I'm going to politicize this, but those are also two states that the Democrats are really going to have to be battleground states for them in the upcoming election. Think about it. Florida. And Virginia. Okay. And there's two of Virginia because you've got Virginia Tech with Michelle Obama. Mm-hmm. So what don't you say? Mitt Romney's got some coming up. Mitt Romney's only scheduled for one, but he's also in Virginia. He'll be speaking at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. Okay. A couple other people will be speaking in Virginia also at a Methodist University in Virginia with Secretary of State, former Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice. Mm-hmm. You have First Lady Laura Bush who's going to be speaking at seven different high schools this year, giving out commencement speeches. Wow. Then you have like the normal people like Colin Powell, who'd be a pretty awesome one. Tons of senators, EPA agents and administrators, but nobody that's... Does it say where Hillary Clinton will be doing any commencement speeches? Just curious as to what the Secretary of... the current Secretary of State will say. What will she say? What's the Secretary of State will be doing? She will be at Colby College in Waterville, Maine. Mm-hmm. She's also going to be at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Okay. And she's going to be at the University of Hartford in West Hartford, Connecticut. Interesting. I guess there's... It's still a possibility that she's going to speak at the Hampton University in Hampton, Virginia as well. Everybody loves Virginia. Apparently. It's the place to go to college. Yeah. And then give commencement speeches. Virginia is for lovers and commencement speeches. Yes, this year especially. That's right. Okay. So to follow up on one of our stories from earlier this week, you remember that crazy yacht, the Tanorexic mother? Yeah. Yeah. Just had that terrible, disgusting creature who had that... Who took her five-year-old child into a tanning booth with her. That is what she's accused of doing. Well, never let it be said that Americans don't have bad taste and can't make money off of anything. There is a company in New Jersey that has released the Tanorexic action figure based upon the deeply tanned New Jersey mother that accused of causing skin burns to her young daughter. Terrible. Awesome. She gets her own action figure. I wonder how... I want an action figure. How close is the actual skin tone to her real skin tone? It's not even close. You can't come up with that color. I mean, it's just so unnatural and disgusting. It's not a color that you actually find in nature. It's awful. I mean, it's one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. As dark as her skin was, it wasn't even a shade of brown. It was a lighter shade of black almost. It was like black and orange had a baby. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It certainly does. And I mean, it just... It makes... Her cheeks are what make her look so creepy because they're just so full and dark and you just like... Then you see those eyes behind it. It just... And she's got some fucked up teeth too, which is definitely not helping. No, that never does. Just as disgusting as it gets. I would say it's funny when they come out with these action figures. I remember they came out with the Octomom action figure with the little... With the eight babies that came with it. Yeah. I like having oddball action figures. Do you have any oddball action figures? Things that most people... That don't really get sold in Toys R Us? I don't think I own any. I have seen some odd ones. I have seen some odd ones that you'll usually find like in a comic book store or something. You wouldn't see it at any kind of major department store or a Target. I have a Jesus. Yeah? Which you don't find everywhere. Right. Didn't you used to have the Buddy Jesus action figure? I sure did. I wasn't even counting that one. So I have a couple of Jesus action figures. There you go. I've got Jay and Silent Bob. Right. And you're not going to find them in Toys R Us. Right. Mr. Hanky. But I guess he is a little more... I guess. But you don't really find a lot of South Park stuff in Target either. This is true. So I can't remember the last time I actually purchased an action figure. Why? Do you usually steal them? No, no. I'm just saying I can't remember the last time I owned an action figure. I mean I've purchased like little statuaries from comic book characters that I liked in the past. But none of them would be considered an actual action figure. They didn't have the kung fu grip. Or you... They couldn't move them around. They were just kind of set there in plaster. What's the best toy accessory, action figure accessory you've ever gotten with a figure? Dude, there's some... Back in the day, there were some really cool action figure accessories like guns and such that actually did stuff. Like they'd shoot out a net and they actually worked. Cool. One of the things I... When we lived in Japan for about a year, the toys over there were absolutely amazing to play with. And one of the great things was is the spring-loaded like bullets that these little toys would be able to shoot out really shot out. Like you go now and the springs have to be so weak. Loose, yeah. Because we don't want a little kid to poke his eye out with it. It goes about three inches off the end of the gun. Right. Boom. Oh, goody. These things would shoot... It just falls to the floor. Right. The ones from Japan, they would shoot across a 20-foot room. And we would be... We'd just shoot them back and forth at each other. It was fun. That's how it was intended to be. And those... I think some of those... This was before like Transformers and Voltron made it to the United States. But we had like a Voltron kind of character. It was a three-part. One was a jet. One was a dump truck. And one was a tank. And all of them had firing missiles. And you'd be able to turn them into a giant robot, which was just freaking awesome. I mean, those are the toys I remember. There wasn't any accessory specific. But I just remember specific toys that stood out as a kid. I've always been somebody who... I mean, I like the figures and stuff. But I was always looking to see what came with it. Like what was the extra side thing that came with it? Some of my favorite ones were... I mean, I bought some dumb things just to get some dumb stuff. Like I bought the Mr. Burns figure just because it had the three-eyed fish in the bowl. Right. Like I didn't particularly care for Mr. Burns, but having my own little three-eyed fish was awesome. I bought a Scooby-Doo set because it came with the biggest sandwich I'd ever seen. I'm like, I'm going to get that. I'm going to get that. I want that sandwich more than anyone else. Oh, like a tall sandwich. Yeah, cool. I bought it specifically because my Jane Silent Bob came with bongs. And I'm like, when he's done with that bong, he's going to want to eat that sandwich. Right. And that was the only way I could figure out how to get a little sandwich for my little Jay. So I had to do that. Yeah. Let's see. Other toys that I remember growing up with and nothing... Again, nothing accessories wise, but specific things. I was a big fan of Robotech when I was much younger and being... Robotech. Yeah. Was that like two different shows or something like that? Actually, it was... It followed a storyline, but it was three different like generations. So one was where they go off into space. One is when they've returned home, but people have followed them back. And then the third one was, well, you beat the bad guys in number two, but the bad guys in number two have bad guys that are after them who are now coming after you. And there's the third one. The first one... I thought that was like three different television shows that they had cut up into one cohesive-ish problem. Well, they always like focused around a specific either city or like the main spaceship, especially in the first two series or seasons because there was always... Everything was in and around this one specific thing. The third one was after Earth had started to grow back and humans were starting to spread out over the continents again. So it wasn't so much that, but it all was the same like fighting force. It was the same technology, but you watched it as it advanced from the initial to two generations later. So... But there were... Like there was a toy store here at one of the malls that had those specific toys from Japan. They even had the Japanese markings still on them and you couldn't find them anywhere else. But I mean, these were things that could turn... You could turn into robots and into jets and into like a hybrid that was both. It's just... Those were the things... Those were the toys I always remember playing with the most. Toys that do more than one thing are definitely the best. Yeah. Yeah. Love the G.I. Joe stuff. Growing up, the different tanks and planes and stuff like that. Got those for Christmas every year and by the next year, they were broken. Mask was another one of those fun ones with the action figures with the different masks you put on them and then their vehicle. Yeah. And then the vehicles that they would drive or fly around in. Mm-hmm. So, good old Hasbro. I don't know what else they did but I definitely know what you mean there. So... I guess we haven't even really gotten into it. I guess we kind of touched it about... Touched it at the top. Avengers and Dark Shadows. Is there anything else that's really opening this weekend? I don't even know if there's anything that even bothered trying to compete with these films. I mean, I think they're going to be doing something special for something they opened this weekend. What was that one called? Girl in Progress, maybe? Maybe. I don't see it here listed right now. It looks like for limited engagement for this one weekend or this one week, they're going to re-release the artist, I guess, to try and get people to take mom out to see it. Excellent counter-programming because you're right. You do have mothers who go out this weekend. And not everybody wants to go out and see Avengers. So, you're going to be doing some Game of Empire story. Bernie is now opening wider. It was only on a very limited engagement, but it's now a little more wide here, especially in Southern California. Totally interested in seeing that. Yeah, absolutely. I hear nothing but good things about it. Carl said he loved it and that made me worry at first because Carl loves everything. But next week, I look forward to hearing his review on Dark Shadows and see what he thought of that and... The fact that he hates it is a glowing reminder. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It makes me want to go see it even more since he said he thought it was absolutely awful. So, that just baffles me. Let's see. Other... Avengers will be number one this week. They'll still pull in another $100 to $150 million, I imagine. There's virtually no way that doesn't happen. And even next weekend, there's not that much that has a chance of taking it down. I guess next weekend is The Dictator with Sacha Baron Cohen. Right. The Samaritan with Samuel Jackson. Yeah. Battleship oh Battleship yeah I don't know what to think about that yeah with Rihanna and Liam Neeson you've also got What to Expect When You're Expecting which is a new comedy with Chris Rock and Thomas Lennon a whole bunch of funny people that I usually like so I hope that it's good but I doubt it's going to be good there's almost no way that that even has a chance of being good so really like The Avengers should hold on to a top spot for a while I guess the next to me big thing that comes out is still a couple of weeks away with Men in Black 3 yeah that's the two more weeks away until we see that have you seen the commercial for it yeah and again Back to the Future was a great time travel gonna go back in time yeah loved the first one and then really appreciated the sequels that came ten years later lots of fun aside of that don't need a lot of time traveling movies anymore and now they're going back in time who does time travel the best who does time travel the best what do you mean to me there's a real blatant answer that we both are way into that shows me these people do time travel things the best I'm confused as to what you're at who does time travel okay you're talking about how you don't need to see time travel things anymore like they're played out and they're old there's one particular entity that uses time travel quite a bit that does it so well that I don't mind when they do it and really only they alone do it well to me okay you've you've stumped me well I probably could have asked this in a better way I really think that the family guy time travel episodes are incredibly well done yes those are fun you're absolutely right when Stewie and Brian travel through time and different dimensions even those are always really fun almost every time I see someone else do it I fucking hate it I'm so over it as a plot device but they do it so well that I look past my hatred of it and think that these guys have really got it on lockdown yeah I do find I'm kind of intrigued by Josh Brolin playing a younger K or J whatever he was it seems to me it's like the same idea that they did in Austin Powers though where you went back and you took Rob Lowe to play a younger version of Wagner Roger Jack in that one right no Robert you're right Robert Robert yeah Robert Wagner yeah exactly doing something like that I mean but that that was actually I thought that was a fun little that was right before it started getting annoying yeah before everybody had to seem to travel in time even though time travel yeah hey that's the way we can fix it let's travel in time but I think the only other animated time travel episode I've ever enjoyed was that the Halloween short that the Simpsons did where Homer fixes the toaster and then goes back in time again and keeps screwing up to try and get back to his regular time and everything's always different that's a fun one but and you know I did enjoy Quantum Leap as a TV series but that was so long ago and that was relatively well done he wasn't traveling in his own timeline he was traveling and helping other people so I guess that's why I like that so much but yeah I can do without time travel that's a show I'd like to see someone remake and bring back I'm actually kind of surprised it hasn't been broached it's not at some level because it was a great series and it really there's the technology that's there now you could just do so much more and there's also so much more of a time that's passed since there where you could go back into the 80s or the 90s and do some stories that are going to affect the future from there so if you're out there listening Hollywood you got another TV series you got to revamp and relaunch come on Hollywood we love you Hollywood Hollywood I hate you I hate you I hate taking the bus across LA and anytime you get to pass through Hollywood they say that's everything else is next stop is going to be approaching approaching Lake and Alameda there's no little splashes of excitement in any of it but when you got across Hollywood next stop Hollywood and Vine you're like oh okay everything else is bullshit well hey you know you want to you want to intrigue people and get them out of into Hollywood Hollywood but they're already on the bus going there I mean who is this helping like if it was in Kansas or something like you should be heading to Hollywood and they'll be like oh okay great that's bringing some people out here who aren't currently there already indeed who the fuck is this helping can't stand it speaking of who the fuck else is this helping we are hitting the very end of the cycle of American Idol oh no and we're down to our last three contestants they finally got rid of the person on there last night that I hated the most there was just this dumb English broad who couldn't sing for shit and just had the worst looks and face why'd they keep her on I think that they must have had robo-dialing going on for her or something I mean I don't know why America kept voting for her and kept voting for her but um Holly Cavanaugh who just drove me fucking crazy so much so that okay you know like when you pull up your DVR and it's like tells you who stars in a show like it'll say um okay for this show it'll say Steven Tyler and um um that broad with big tics and a big ass what's her name Jennifer Lopez yeah there you go um like uh it'll say those and there's only naming one contestant in it because there was extra space there and it was always Holly Cavanaugh right because uh alphabetically yeah I'm sure that's it but it still just pissed me off I just couldn't stand her and she's a talentless um little idiot that I just hated listening to so at least she's gone so you've got something to look forward to then yeah that's right now it's gonna get really tough do they narrow it down to two or is it just the final three and then there's one winner of the three uh there it will be the final two and then there will be a winner announced from those two so there's two weeks left of the show okay so that means how many episodes do they have to do two just two okay I thought no no no no no no you're right probably five five episodes in two weeks yeah so they have to do next week's um competition then the vote off then they do a one one one episode recap of everything up into that season of course then they do the recap and the vote off so five more episodes of that um stuff going on awesome too much way too much dude it's just way too long how many episodes do they do do a week anyway uh two every week two every week it's just two okay so and then it just starts getting really bad cause by this point when they're down to three people like next week each one of them is gonna have to sing three songs so you're just like ah this is this is too much for me yeah that's so and then when it gets down to two they're each gonna have to do what four songs probably wow and a couple of a couple of medleys between the two of them some duets like it'll just be there'll be a band that'll have them sing with too maybe yeah like they ruined the reputation of Queen a couple weeks ago yeah that was awesome they haven't bothered trying to do that again that was just um epic fail if I could have given an abortion to my television at that time I would have done it yeah you know if I had had that on my DVR and it had taken a dump and lost everything I wouldn't feel saddened by it yeah how's that all come together for you everything's starting to record again but once it's lost it's lost and uh I know you're right I do keep a lot of crap on there but there are certain things I just wanted to be able to hold on to I just can't watch the same show multiple times I don't know how you can sit down and watch the same Archer for the eighth or ninth time ah cause I think I always find something new to listen to plus I'm a big stoner but see like I'll actually find something new to watch instead of like watching that same episode well see I'll I'll look for something else but if I don't find something that intrigues me that I want to watch or I haven't recorded I'll go back and watch something that I have that I enjoy so I don't know I just have you ever sit down and watched like the news sure but you know but I'm talking let's say 11.45 at night I could go to CNN if I want to or you know I guess I got Adult Swim going on at that point but let's say it's an episode of um uh Assy McGee yeah I'm skipping that if it's Assy McGee versus um let's say uh Drinky Crow I would watch Drinky Crow I liked Drinky Crow um but uh what was the 12 ounce mouse if those were up against each other and I needed to kill 15 minutes I'd put on an episode of Frisky Dingo that I have recorded or I'd put on an episode of Harvey Birdman if I still had that but most of those I have on DVD now I just have to see that's the thing I just don't want to spend the 20 bucks on the DVD I just want to have it free on my DVR and I can watch it whenever I want and I can erase it whenever I want that's just that's how selfish I am I can introduce you to the wonderful world of illegal downloads uh the next step will have to be getting a computer then oh yeah that's right I ain't got the internet there that's the real problem right that is the big problem and I do I do pick up a lot more when I do have a computer in front of me I can have the TV running and watch the shows that I've got recorded and I'm good multitasking with that stuff just gotta have the working computer to do so take it well we're down to our last four minutes of the week I know um it's been a fun week it's been a good one man we've had some really fun people across here there's no doubt Jeb was a lot of fun yesterday had a great time listening to his stories and looking forward to him coming out to our live show next week yeah he'll be performing on the 19th that'll be pretty awesome um and uh he was a lot of fun uh it was also a lot of fun to have out Michael Amico always enjoy his time yep and we had uh even though that that was probably one of the dirtiest segments we've ever done yes yes Mike Mike made it blue we all did yeah we all did glory hole conversation was probably two percent more than it needed to be maybe but uh we also uh had a really great interview with our band of the week from last week uh with uh The Future in 1989 with uh Ben and Skyler coming in they were a lot of fun to talk to yeah and uh they they! you know they I've Ben has done nothing but promote the the heck out of the episode and telling me how much fun he had coming in studio and getting a chance to talk with us so that always makes you feel good yeah yeah it is nice that somebody appreciates and had a good time doing it so and we get that a lot I like that but uh it was really nice especially from uh a friend so I got back some feedback yesterday so I don't know what I was thinking yesterday but I went on this long rant against Canada and everything that I hated in it and uh I got back some maybe I was unfair to Canada on a few points okay here's what I'm willing to concede I'm willing to concede that maple syrup is not as bad as I made it out to be yesterday okay and that um not all professional wrestlers turn into murderers just a a high percentage of them but not all of them right that's it everything else is still on the table I still don't appreciate much of what you do but I thanks for bringing hockey to America Canada uh no even that isn't worth it to me bunch of toothless idiots sitting around smiling on some ice no thank you so what do you've got you said you didn't have much planned for the weekend what's your relaxing weekend gonna be cause last week you had the the pretty effed up busy weekend yeah even then I have one event this weekend that I gotta go do I'm gonna go do a um a food drive this weekend for the homeless oh goody so you know just trying to help out and think outside of myself I mean I can sit home and jerk off or I can go take the world's longest dump I mean I can do all sorts of pleasurable things right but um I wanna be able to think outside of myself and do something bigger than a bowel movement or a jizzy blast mhm so you're gonna go out feed the homeless I sure am I've got all these cans of food that are about ready to expire I mean some of them may already have but you know they're hungry like any more beef stew sure it's a little bit chunkier than you're used to I don't think it's even gotten that bad but that doesn't mean that it's unedible right I got a whole bunch of old cats food for like some homeless kitties if they have homeless I mean homeless people have cats right I know they do if not they'll give it to the dogs they have with them there probably are more dogs attached to homeless people than cats because cats have dignity yeah it will walk away you can't keep a cat on a leash unless it's a retarded cat except for that one guy that used to come by when we were having our production meetings outside in Pasadena I've never understood it yeah cat on a leash and that cat would just sit up on his shoulder as he walked along and it never moved it was actually kind of impressive that he was able to train the cat that well it's like an animatronic cat or something yeah couldn't have it must have been yeah that leash which is actually just the remote control for it would not surprise me hey we're out of time so we'd like you to go check out facebook.com forward slash grand theft audio radio also check out facebook.com forward slash skid row studios learn about a whole bunch of other shows going on here that you need to be listening to skid row studios you're listening skid row studios you're listening to skid row studios