Buffy the Vampire Slayer discussion with Julie Kirkman

Get ready. Initiate a word conversation in three, two, one. Where am I? Hi, everyone. Welcome to Awkward Conversations, a free episode. What? I am your host, Anastasia Washington, a.k.a. PsychoFanBot, a.k.a. I'm obsessed with this fucking show. Yay! We can tell in your exuberant voice. Wow. I mean, what? I'm sorry. I'm going to calm down. Calm your tits. Calm your tits. Calm your tits. They can't be calmed. They just can't be. They're so agitated right now. They're out of control. I really, I dislike when your tits get agitated. It becomes difficult to handle. You wouldn't like them when they're angry. Oh, God. Large and green. They're not green. Can I write the screenplay? Yes, you can. We have our fabulous guest, Julie. Hello. Is your stage name Julie Smith? It's Julie Kirkman. Kirkman. Nobody has the name Julie Smith as a stage name. Ah, okay. So, Julie Kirkman. She is a wonderful actress. Wonderful. Wonderful. Thank you. There we go. Fixing mic. She's a wonderful actress, and she's nerdy like us. So, she likes Buffy and BBC, and we love her. Hooray. She's fantastic. Nerdy is awesome. Nerdy. She's nerdy, and she's done some photo shoots with us, and she's fabulous, and we love her. Thank you. And with me, like always, is Frank Bennington, a.k.a. Bad Touch Batboy. A.k.a. your lord and master. A.k.a. rapist. Oh, messed up. One of these days. I was acquainted. Frank's not going to be here, and we're all going to know why. Is it because he's Bad Touch Batboying someone? No, I think it's because Stacy doesn't want him to be the co-host. I see drama brewing, and I see a shit starter. Shit starter. And a shit starter, Rachel from Good, a.k.a. Sassapams. That's what I do. Sassapams. And with us, like always, is also Francisco. I almost didn't make it. I almost didn't make it. I was busy sharpening knives this morning. It was all intensive. Oh, my God. That takes so much time, right? I know. Yeah. It's too much. I'm not lying. I'm not lying. Are you seriously sharpening knives for your next victim? Listen, that's what electric knife sharpeners are for, okay? No. Then you lose that wonderful slicey sound, that shh, shh, over and over. The repetition is wonderful. Interesting. Your repetition. It's very soothing. So, um, so. Hey. So, how has everybody's week been before we get into, before we rip into the bubble? Amazing and very different from yours and amazingly eventful. All right. Well, um, you guys, you guys abandoned me. I'm sorry. And left me. And I spent the early part of the week focusing on the election, of course. Erection. The election. The large looming erection. It was very important to me. It was. It was amazing. It was. It was glorious. Um, it climaxed extremely early as all good erections do? No. I think I disagree with that. I disagree with that. My trading thoughts. I disagree with that as well. What? You're doing it wrong. I'm doing it way wrong. We'll revisit that. tromped all over Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney ran away crying, basically. Can I tell you my favorite thing about the entire night is that Mitt Romney was so, so arrogant and so confident in his winning that he did not even write a concession speech. He only wrote a victory speech. My friends and I were joking that Obama didn't write an acceptance speech. All the polls were looking really weird. Of course, like the right wing was skewing their polls, but the main polls were saying Obama was going to do well, and he did. You're so mature every time he says skewing polls. Skewing polls. It was a delightful election. That not only did we get Obama, but we got gay marriage and we got legalized pot in Colorado. What? And it's a Maryland that's got their first gay, like openly gay Senate. Oh, yes. First openly gay Senate. It's a woman. Was it Maryland? It was one of them M states. Oh, and. We got Elizabeth Warren. So that's, she's amazing. He was very excited about the erection. How anything eventful happened for anybody else's week? Not as eventful as yours. A different kind of erection. We got a different kind of erection. We went to Vegas to see Thunder Down Under. Did you get the clap? I did not get the clap. Isn't that what they call that clap? The thunder from down under? No, the clap is a disease. That I did not get from Thunder Down Under. No, it was fun. It was cute. It was kitschy. I loved the fireman get up. Was it like Magic Mike, but live? It was like Magic Mike, but live. Well, that's good. Yay. Was it as depressing? No. Yes, it was as depressing. Aw. Aw. Aw. Aw. Aw. Especially after you see them walk out, like not in their costumes and not in that dim lighting. And you're like, oh. Well, that's why it was dim. Oh, well. I didn't realize you were 60. I didn't realize you were 60. I mean, weathered. I mean, oh. It's like that. It was hot. It was cute. It was like strip some goggles and nice. When you tan that much, your skin's gonna turn to leather. And people always are like, I'm like, why are you so freaked out about tanning? I'm like, I don't wanna look old. I will bathe in the blood of virgins till the day I die so that I don't get a wrinkle on my anything. The worst thing you could do ever is go out in the sun. Right? So, I mean. I'll just stay inside. Right? And I mean, I burn. I mean. I am not at puppy cancer. Puppy cancer? Sometimes you get puppy cancer. Anyway. Let's move on to Buffy. Let's move on to Buffy. Puppy cancer? The reason for my, I mean, the reason why we're here, not the existence of me. And let's just start out with a hot button issue. Although I think now, like all the ages that we are and stuff like that, I think we're gonna be kind of similar on this note. Please, if you are on Facebook or Twitter or whatever, you can instant message us or tweet your opinion on subjects or call in at 800-893-9564. Like we have fans. We do. We do. My mom listens. We have fan. We have fan. We have fan. We have a person. So the question I have is the ultimate question which is Spike or Angel? Like who would you choose? If you were Buffy? Aesthetically wise? Angel. Are we talking Angel as Angel? Or Angel as like the Angel? I think if you talk about Angel, you have to talk about both possibilities. abilities because of the whole... Exactly. I mean, if you think Angel and you give him that one perfect moment of happiness, then now you've got... Then he's a dick. A dick on your hands. And not a good dick. This is true. And with Spike, you know what you get, except he had a little chip implanted, so you always know it's gonna be gravy. That was my thought. I don't like... I would never... I don't like... I always thought Angel, even in his own little show, was too... Oh, I'm so sad about my life. He's so broody and depressing. But Spike is like, fuckers, this is what I am. I am William the Terrible. I will always be this person. Oh, wait, I've got a chip that makes me have a conscious... Fuck that shit. I'm still gonna be badass and evil. Well, here's the thing. He got the chip later on. And before that, we saw his relationship with Drusilla, and he loved her. Like, for a person that did not have a soul, apparently, he definitely had the commitment thing, Don. He definitely loved. And... And... Yes, nodding? Okay. And so I think, you know, when we have, like, you know, Angel, who can't carry that love into having no soul, and you see Spike, who can, always love that way, I feel like that's the truer man. Although, when I was a kid, and watching it for the first time, I was all about Angel. Did you watch it from the very beginning? Yes, I did. So, I was age... Like, 13 or something? Sure, I was 13. I was not... I got in at, like, season 6, actually. Well, it came on in 97, and I was just, like, entering 7th grade. See, I think maybe that's it. I was, like, 13, 14. I've only seen sporadic episodes, and it never caught me on. Like, it's caught a lot of my friends, but I think it's because I didn't catch it during that, like, angsty teenagehood period. So... I don't think you have to. I know I caught it a little later in life. Yeah, I mean, what did you think about? Like, which one would you choose? I would always choose Spike, because, first of all, he's not depressing and broody. He's passionate. And if you go back to those episodes where they talk about the past, you know, Liam, I guess, was... What's his face's name? Angel's name? He was always mean and depressing and sort of... Whereas Angel or Spike, Spike was, like, kind of posh and passionate. He's just a bad poet, that's all. He's a bad poet, and he was in love with Cecily. Yeah. He was kind of meek when he was alive. But he was still... He was meek, but he was still, like, intent on... You know, he loved that girl. He wanted her to know, and he didn't care who pushed him around for it. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it. David Boreanaz does nasty things to my crotch. I wish he did nasty things to my crotch. What? He's a sex addict. If I haven't heard the horror stories of him doing nasty things to my crotch... I would still let him do nasty things to my crotch. And I heard the horror stories, but whatever. I don't... I see him often. But my favorite is Spike. And then seeing, you know, him on Firefly... I mean, not Firefly, on Torchwood. I have Firefly on the brain as well. Oh, that's very good. Having him on Torchwood. And what an introduction. Just massively beating the shit out of each other until you have sex with each other. Same kind of a situation on Buffy when they hooked up. Breaking a whole house. Oh, I thought you were just gonna say breaking a hole. No, breaking a house. They broke a house. They did. When you have sex, if you don't break a house, is it really sex? Yes, it still is sex. This is good. Do you have sex a lot? Do you break houses a lot? Most of my sex involves sledgehammers. Oh, okay. He's like, I gotta break a house. I gotta break a house. I gotta break a house. I gotta break a house. Now all of a sudden, it's not sex, people. I can't orgasm unless there's demolition. Oh, my God. Extreme home addition, people. Yes. Come on. That's why the gays keep redecorating so much. The blacks and the gays. No comment. Okey dokey. Really, you don't wanna comment on this? He's just gonna soundbite this entire- Bored now. Oh! What a whore. What a bitch. What a fucking whore. Okay, Frank. You're bored. You're bored. Let's talk about something about you. Yeah. Let's talk about something, you know, personal. Uh-huh. All y'all talk is up in here. Okay. I will move off the subject that he obviously does not wanna talk about. Also on the same lines, which in the Buffyverse, or we could expand it to Weedonverse, would be the best lay? Best in bed. Well, Jane from Firefly. But is that because that's like your type? No, no. I think he would also- I think that would also be a good lay because- You think Jane? You think Jane? Jane. Of all the Firefly people, you think Jane? Yeah, I think she'd do well. Because I was gonna go with Mal. Yeah, Mal. You said Jane. Mal too, but Jane is- I have to agree. I think Jane would be a good lay. Really? Are we talking about like a relationship kind of lay where you wanna go along? I think he would be a good relationship. If you could get him to settle down, I think he would be a good relationship. He's more of a one night stand. If we're talking about relationships, then you want Wash as your person, don't you? Yeah. That's true. But the question was. Best lay. Best lay. Best lay. I'm going with Mal because I like Nathan Fillion. I know. I like Nathan Fillion too, but- I also like Sean Mare even. Even if he does play for Frank and Cisco's team, I like Sean. I like his character as well, but I would be Mal all the way. I'm gonna say Mal because I love Nathan Fillion. And I'm gonna also say Spike because I think he breaks the house with Buffy. That's your thing, breaking houses, huh? It's hot, okay? It was a really hot, hot scene. It was really hot. All of his scenes are really, he's so hot. I might have to go with Gun too. I also like Doyle. Doyle was good. Doyle was amazing. I really had a crush on him for forever. And I was really pissed off when he- It's a shame that actor had to die. But you know. I was really, it was sad because they didn't really inform anybody about it when it just happened. So he just left the show. And when he came back, it was like no more Doyle. I was like, why the fuck did they kill him? Why did they kill off my favorite character? And I was like, oh, cause he really died. He really died. Oh, yeah. That sucked balls. I'd say Victor from Dollhouse for me. Oh, Victor. Wait, is he the one with the little snapping turtle mouth? I'll pull up a picture. He's the Russian. No, he's the Russian. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think I have history with this. Are we including Star Trek in this? Oh no, not that one, okay. Are we including Star Trek in this because Kirk? No, he's cute. I mean, that's Joss Whedon as well. No. Oh, that's JJ Abrams. He's so Marvel. I keep making- Avengers, you could do like Avengers. You could do Avengers, yeah. Yeah, okay, well. You could also do Lion Man if you wanted to. Captain America. He would be the worst leg cause he'd only wanna do it in like missionary position and like you have to be married. Yeah, it's wholesome. It's wholesome, but dat ass. Dat ass. Dat ass. Well, I guess, you know. Well, if we're going there, Black Widow, or I'm sorry. I'm sorry, yeah. You would do Black Widow? Yeah, I would do Black Widow, come on. You would do Black Widow. I'm so shocked by this. Yeah, come on. I'm so shocked by this. She is . He likes ScarJo. Okay. I like that ScarJo. I like ScarJo in a red wig. She is busty. In a red wig. How about Vamp Willow? Oh. Vamp Willow? She'd be kind of fun. I think she'd be, I mean like, well. And if she got out of control, you could stake her. That's true, like, hey, calm down. Bitch. If we're talking Avenger. Hawkeye. No, see. Well, Hawkeye is a dream. But she doesn't like Jeremy Renner. I think Jeremy Renner is dreamy. Everything about him. He's dreamy. Everything about him should be like, I should be attracted to him. And every time I see him, I'm like, why am I not attracted to you? I don't know, but my heart's burned for him. He is so, he is so cute. Every time I see him, I'm like, right? Well, that's how you feel about Daniel Craig. You don't get why you don't. I know, I don't get why I don't like Daniel Craig. Let's see. I get why I like him. I mean, I like Daniel Craig, except for James Bond. And then, yeah, I know. And then I feel like- She doesn't know you anymore. I found him slightly attractive in Avenger. Like, I was like, oh, he's kind, I can kind of get why he's, but I still didn't like. I'm telling you, that trailer for the newborn movie, where he's just kicking ass and taking names is the sexiest thing to me ever. I'm like- Now that I think about it- It's pretty good. I'll run away with you. The more I think about it, I'm quite happy with just Captain America and Jane. Okay. All right. I'm good to be here. I'm gonna go with Hulk. Hulk? Thor. I'm gonna go with Thor. Yes, Hulk, no, we had this discussion, but we- Fine, no, you just, you just like the dictator of my cooch. Listen, listen, he- I will have sex with Hulk when I want to. I know the sex that you get into. He will have sex with you. He will be inside you. You'll slap him. He'll slap you. Suddenly you'll explode, and there'll be little Anastasia bits all over the wall. Fine, just for cleanliness purposes, I'm going to have sex with Thor. You guys remember that scene? Thor, Thor, Thor, and Thor. Just make sure that- Remember that scene where James Bond made someone explode? That was fun. That's gonna be your vagina. Oh my God. Little bits everywhere. Okay, anyway. I'll take Hulk then. Wait, but we haven't heard your answer. Did you say your answer? Yeah, I said Victor from Dalhousie and Hulk. And did you, you picked- Well, I started with- I just, what, Jane. Jane. Jane. I don't understand the difference. I like the heel a lot, though. Do you not like him? I really do. He's a dick on the show. Jane is like, okay, he's a dick. We didn't say relationship. But he has this heart of gold kind of thing. Yeah. Once in a while, he does something really good, and it's really great. But he is not attractive to me. Oh no, on top of that, he is gruff and attractive, and it's just, mm. So did you also, that's what I'm trying to figure out, if it's the act, I date the filly and- No, I do. I do. I like the actor. Okay, I like Mal. I like the actor, but on top of that, I like the character, Jane. I thought he was just, he was nice. But it's the same character he played in shock. Ballad of Jane. I just don't find him that attractive. I mean, it's mainly because Mal is walking around next to him, and I'm like- I don't know that I'd want to go with Mal so much. It has just Nathan Fillion. No, yeah. I'm listening to Paul. The penis. Yeah, Nathan. I would totally, actually, no. Mal, I think, is, actually, both of them are ridiculously attractive in their sense. Mal is hot as, like, that spaceship. All those men. He's such a man. The Shepherd is attractive. Captain Mal is so, like, I'm a man. What is up with Joss Whedon putting attractive men in things? Wash his mouth. Thank God, okay? It's attractive. I mean, come on. Joss Whedon not only puts really attractive men in things, he puts, like, empowering women in things. Yeah, I've actually, a lot of his stuff looks very geared towards women to me. Buffy- He's a feminist. Yeah, very much so. He's an attractive man. Did he grow up in a family full of women? I don't know. Did he have lots of sisters? No, no, he's from a long line of writers. Doesn't he have, like, two brothers? Yeah, and his dad wrote for, or his grandfather wrote, like, what? Not Leave It To Be, or one of those. Did he write for the Show of Shows? Since Caesar is the Show of Shows. I mean, he's, like, you know, writing royalty. That's crazy. His dad wrote, his grandmother and grandfather wrote. We could even open it up to, like, characters on Roseanne, since he wrote for Roseanne for like two years. No, we're not doing that. Thank you. What is wrong with you? I'm just saying that's part of the universe. And I know his brother and him co-wrote the song for Firefly. Oh. Zach Whedon. That's Nicky. That's Nicky. Elijah Company, Golden Girls. Wait, Golden Girls to Be Arthur. Yeah. There you go. So, like, he's, like, writing royalty, and I love him. I love him. Joss Whedon, if you want to come on the show- Blanche Devereux, that's all. She's my favorite. I will freak out over you. Also, Nathan Fillion. If you want to meet me anywhere, I will meet you. Nathan, don't hear you. He's not our fan. By anywhere, she means her vagina. Honey, you would be. Nathan, Nathan, don't listen to her, honey. Don't listen to her. Stacey is now friends with somebody that knows Nathan Fillion. That's true. So she can be friends with him. The degrees of separation. She's shaking her breast assist. And going, na, na, na, na. They could hear that part. That's her na, na, na, na dance. So, what was your favorite Buffy episode, like, of all time? I know most people are going to say Hush. Well, I haven't seen many. Hush is up there with me. The musical one was another one that I've seen. Very good. I've seen Hush. I've seen Hush. I've seen Hush. I like— Those two were just— They blew me away. They— They really were the things that intrigued me and made me perhaps want to see more. I'm glad that they blew you. They blew me. Well— My favorite— I— Well— Welcome to the Hellmouth is a good one. I also like the one with the puppet demon slayer— Hmm— Because— I have this humongous fear of marionettes and ventriloquist dummies. They just creep me out. I am not a topic answer. I liked the twist that it was where you thought he was the demon, and it turned out, no, he was the slayer of the demon. I liked that whole, like, what? Twist. What? And I liked the, that first introduction to Oz. I thought that was really good. Like, hey, here's this guy that she likes besides Xander. Oh, he's in a rock band. What? He's also a werewolf, people. That's a craziness. What about you? You're kidding. What a crazy random happenstance. Oh, my favorite. I think it's going to be a toss-up between The Wish and Fool for Love because I do love me some Spike, so finding out about his past a little more. Fool for Love. I love that one. But The Wish I just thought was clever, and I like the fact that it introduced us to an alternate universe so early on. I'm going to say the one where they broke the building. I think it's called Smashed. I was going to Google that. Yes. I like that one because of things. Because of sex. Because of sex. Sexy times. But that wasn't, like, the only sexual episode. There was also that one where her and Riley were, like, stuck in a room for, like, days just constantly having sex. Oh, no. There is premarital sex in this series. Huh? You didn't say that there was premarital sex in this series. I can't watch it. I'm so sorry, Jehovah. I'm premarital lesbian. Lesbians! What? What? And this was made for the children. For the children. Won't somebody think of the children? The children. Won't somebody think of the children? Frank, what did you, what did you, what did you, what did you say? The body. No. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's depressing. It is. It is a depressing episode, but it's also one of the best episodes of the series. It handles death really well. And it's, it, the fact that there's, like, almost no music, it's just, it's so different from everything else that it just kind of stands out to me a lot. It was a good episode. I agree. I think that's also why people like Hush is because it is just, like, it's all, like, you can see how, well, I guess, well, no, how good of actors they are because it's not, it's just them. It's just them literally miming. It's just them emoting. There's no music. There's no sound. There's just boom. And so maybe that's why. It's not my, like, it's not my top 10. Did that one win? But it's a good one. I think that's my top 10. I don't know, actually. I wonder if I won. I get nominated for sure. I think that's definitely one of my top 10s. How did everybody feel about the musical episode? Because there's a lot of people that are very pissed off about it. I will say this. I hate it. Joss Whedon cannot write musicals very well. I'm a disappointment. I agree. Because you've got Dr. Horrible. I love Dr. Horrible. Here's the thing. They're hilarious. They're amazing. But they're more, oh, I'm speaking to music. They don't really feel like musicals to me. So they're musicals? They're musicals? No, like, when I think of a musical, I think of, like. Do they feel like opera is more to you? It just, his musical, like, the way that he writes it feels very weird to me. I just, I don't like it. But I will say that they're hilarious and I love them. And even that episode, I thought was one of the very best. I thought, you know, when I first saw it, I thought it's because I was younger and that's why I hated it. But no, I have rewatched it three times since then and I still fucking hate that episode. I think it's cheesy. I think it's dumb. I hate it so much. I think we have to point out something very important right now. And that is that Rachel and Francisco agree on something. This is a rare occasion. I like the episode. Oh, I thought you said you didn't like it. No, I said that regardless. I don't think he can write musicals, but I think the episode is hilarious and brilliant. Yeah, I don't like it. Rachel, did you like the first season of Buffy? Yeah. But you have a problem with cheesy. For the record. I'm just saying. No, no. The first season wasn't exactly the most serious. For the record, Stacey. I know there's cheesy. We did not agree. For the record, Cisco and I still pull rocks. No, I like cheesy and there's camp and there's cheesy. And then there's like, hey, I want to do a musical just to see if I could do a musical. Let's do a musical. Be fun. And I don't think it was well done. I think the music in it was like poorly written and lame. I just don't like the episode. I think it's dumb. Be careful. Don't hit your mic. It was fun to watch. It's not in my top 10. I mean. I think it was unique. I think it was unique. Yeah. I mean, I'm fine with it. I don't have a hatred for it. I'm not. I didn't go out and buy the soundtrack. But, you know, like. I like it. And some of the songs I think were pretty funny. But I don't have a hatred for it. I like Dr. Horrible more. That's the thing. I think he writes really hilarious songs. I think that they're funny and you get into them. But I just don't think that they're well-written songs. I love Dr. Horrible. Dr. Horrible? Yeah. Dr. Horrible. Yeah. Dr. Horrible. No, Dr. Horrible I enjoyed as well. I had that issue at moments as well, though. Like, I thought it was hilarious and I loved the entire thing. But there were songs that were like, oh, that's kind of. Were they the female songs? That was the problem. I had a problem with the female songs. I mean, there was a couple other songs that were like, okay, well, that wasn't really a song. But for Once More With Feeling, did Josh write the music or was that also his brothers? Was that Zach and Josh? Because I know for Dr. Horrible, it was his brother that wrote mostly the music and stuff like that. It was mostly. I'm not sure about that. But, yeah. Investigating. I don't. Investigation time. What? What? What? But, yeah. I didn't have a. It was just. It was just. Yeah, it was Whedon. It was Whedon. It was Joss. Yeah, so I didn't have a problem with that. Also, another topic I wanted to talk about. Angel, the TV spinoff. How did you feel? So, I watched that show until the last season where they were like, hey, he needs to have a son who's cuckoo bananas. Then I was like, fuck you, Angel. I love cuckoo bananas. I liked you. I love you. Then you killed off one of my favorite characters. You made her kind of batshit crazy. And then you brought in this crazy son who's supposed to fulfill a prophecy. And then they went to like work for Wolfman and Hart. Like they. I was like, what? Harmony was his assistant. Like Spike was working with him hand in hand. I was like, what is going on? They can work hand in hand whenever they want. I know. I mean, if they need help with working hand in hand. I mean, I've watched all the seven seasons of that show or six or however many. There were five seasons of Angel and the first two and the last one were good. And the third and the fourth, I didn't even bother with. I mean, I've watched them all. They had Connor and I could not stand Connor. Actually, I just don't like him. I didn't watch much of Buffy and I didn't watch anything of Angel and it did not appeal to me. But I do like Connor on Mad Men. Vincent, whatever that last, his last name is. I do like him as Pete Campbell on Mad Men. Oh, do you? Do you? Yes, I do. Do you? Oh, I'm so happy for you. He's not some creepy demon child meant to fulfill a prophecy. Wow, sarcasm. That's so good. I love Mad Men, so. Well, and I like the fact that Angel took Wesley and turned him from such a... Pussy? Pussy, exactly. Into, you know, kind of a bamf. Yeah. I know. I wonder if that, no, I guess she fell in love with him earlier than that. What? Allison Hannigan. No, yeah, she. I think that was the third season of... What? He wrote Titan AE. I didn't realize that. Are you okay? I enjoy that movie. Yeah. No, yeah. Okay. But he also wrote Atlantis, The Lost Empire, and I'm angry at him for that one. Hey, I'm not angry. Because it was a poor man's TV. No. It was, they stole the story from a Japanese storyline, Nadia. It's the exact same story. It's not huge. He wrote Beethoven. Deal with it, people. I can't comment on that. I don't know. Mm-mm. I never watched it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're mad. It's okay. What were we talking about? Sorry. Angel. To watch or not to watch? Oh, yeah. But I had a train of thought and then I was like, I don't know where I went. You derailed. Yeah, derailed. Yeah, I liked, I watched Angel. I didn't, I mean, I, oh, we were talking about Allison Hannigan. Right. Okay. She made that guy. So, yeah, like she, I guess she met him during Buffy and they've been together ever since. And I like seeing him on the show with her. I think I saw her like on How I Met Your Mother now. Oh, yeah. It's such a cute little drawback. Sandy. Like, I love it. And I felt like, I think I saw them when I was like, I don't know, 16, like right when they were like 16, like 15, 16, when they were just starting to date and I saw them at Good Earth and then like they were walking out of it and I was just like, my face must have been like, holy shit. And they looked at each other and like Allison looked at me and she's like, and I was like, oh my God, you guys are a couple. I felt like, I felt like I had like a super secret thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My Buffy club, not that we had a Buffy club at school or anything, ran and I was like, oh my God, I can't believe what just happened. It was just like the moment that David Boreanaz got divorced. We were all like just waiting to hear when it was finalized. It was awesome. Not that we were obsessed. I was obsessed. Okay. Clearly. I was obsessed. Clearly we can tell you had a Buffy club. That's okay. It doubled as something else, but that's more embarrassing. Buffy slash something. That we don't need to discuss. Oh, you brought it up because now I must know. You'll never know. You'll never know. Things should become secret sometimes. Oh, I'll find it out. Oh, you will not. So yeah. So let's take some time to ask our questions of the wonderful month of November. November. November. And it is such a wonderful month because of two amazing. Amazing things. It's the birth of me and Cisco. Without November, we would be not here. What? This current body. This current body? Yeah. I'm sorry. My birthday shift. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, that and April. The apocalypse is also happening today. I'm sorry. I'm thinking nine months back from November. What's nine months back? Oh, I am. February? I am. I am a exact Valentine's Day baby. Okay. November 14th. I know. I know. I don't know too much about my birth. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. All righty. Yeah. So amazing month of November. And that's why I got, went to Vegas and had men thrust in my face like you do on your birthday. Which is fun. I mean. Which is fun. Because, you know, that's important to have your, okay, we get it. We copied it. Whatever. I don't care. I'm just sorry. I was just showing them. Okay. If you want. Okay. So back to one of the other subjects that I brought up. He wrote Atlantis, the Disney film, and they actually literally almost stole scene for scene this from an anime called Nadia of the Lost Blue Water. Did they steal it or did they pay for it? No, they don't own it. They're still, they're still fighting over it, I think. Would anybody here have seen the Japanese anime? Yeah. It came to America. Okay. But before or after this? Much, much earlier. It was in the 80s. All right. All right. All right. We get it. We get it. We get it. Let's move on. Joss is amazing and we love him so much. It's so cool when we were singing about it. Okay. So let's ask our questions to our guest. My question is, what is the weirdest thing you've eaten or would eat or would try? The weirdest thing I've eaten or would eat? Yeah. That's a good question. I generally like to try almost everything. I like that. I've eaten, it's not really weird, but I've eaten calamari, like raw. Don't like it. It's horrible. Yeah. I like it fried though. It is delicious. No, I don't even like it fried. You don't? It all tastes the same. It's all kind of like rubbery. It's like a weird chewy texture. Yes. I don't like it. I don't know. Would you eat bugs? Ooh. Nom, nom, nom, nom. I had this discussion once about tarantulas where at first I thought, no, I would never eat a tarantula because gross. And then I realized, but they look, they're kind of like lobsters or crabs and if they tasted like crab or lobster, I would definitely eat tarantulas. What about crickets? Ooh, a tarantula roll. Not crickets. Really? Not a cricket lollipop? No. No. It's not that big of a deal. Cricket chocolate. Gross. But now I'm thinking that the most amazing thing besides our escargot pasta that we're going to make has got to be tarantula roll, like a lobster roll. Yes. And buttered bun, you know, a little for Halloween. Yeah. But they'd have such a gooey center, like a Cadbury egg. Well, that's just like eating like soft shell crab or crab. You just take the, you take the. I don't like crab. Dip it in a little melted butter. Oh, delicious. Right? Tarantulas and melted butter. I'm just saying tarantula roll. Next thing. Lobster ice cream. Ick. Come to our food truck that we don't have. Lobster ice cream. All right. Lobster ice cream was amazing. That has nothing to do with what we were talking about. It was really good. Okay. Hank, ask your question now. You can't think about it. You have to just. Answer it. Just fire away. I will try. Would you have sex with an alien and would you wear a rubber? Yes, I would have sex with an alien and I probably would wear a rubber. No, super AIDS. I mean, okay. You don't want space AIDS? Space AIDS gives you super powers. Those are two separate questions. I don't know. Yeah. Will space AIDS give me powers? Because I'll take it. Exactly. We have not confirmed this. It is a claim that I have made. We've neither confirmed nor denied this claim. If it gives you powers, what is the negative side effect to space AIDS? There's nothing. There's nothing. Or the space clap. The space clap. No, you don't want to get a space clap. No, no, no. You don't want that. If you like your insides, you don't want a space clap. What do the aliens look like? It doesn't matter. Because that could help too. There's tentacles everywhere. Everywhere. Everywhere. Tentacles? I don't know. I don't know. Are they great aliens? If you're going to have sex with aliens. If it's an alien, it's going to involve tentacles. No, it's not. We have like the grave. They have tentacles somewhere. I promise you. No, they don't. They come out of places you don't want to know. I can. I can. I will talk to my alien friends. Wait, what was the alien that peed out of its hand? Oh, that was from a scary movie. So basically, is that its penis? So would it just be like finger banging you? Would that be the sex with the alien? And peeing in you. That's kind of funny. That's boring. I'm not in junior high anymore. Alien. Pull up some real equipment. Maybe this alien is. Maybe on his planet he is still in junior high. Maybe. Maybe you're in. No, I'm sorry. Not going to work. I ain't rolling like that alien. Maybe it's like no alien pedophilia. Is he wearing his football jacket? No alien pedophilia? No. That's right. But it's not illegal in space. A lot of people don't know that. A lot of things. A lot of things aren't illegal in space. But that doesn't mean we're going to do them, Frank. Except for Jane. Except for Jane. And Mal. I'm going to mouth it. Nobody ever mentioned the doctor, huh? I said the doctor. Not really. I think he's a little too sharp. I said Mal and the doctor. Even though he plays for their team, I said the doctor. That's true. He does play for your team. You don't care. Gay. I mean, it's awesome. I really like it. He's attractive. I just thought you guys were playing on a baseball team. I just. What does that mean? He's short. And adorable. Eh. I mean, he's cute. I wouldn't throw him. He's a pocket gay. Except for he. Yeah, I would. Short and adorable is Martin Freeman. Yes. He is short and adorable. Yes, he is. Okay. All right. Would he wear the one cock ring if you were with him? Would he? What? The one cock ring. The one cock ring? The one ring. The one ring. Sure. Yeah. Wouldn't that turn him invisible? Like, where? Where are you? Where are you? Oh, there you go. It's like. Kind and sick. Kind and sick. I found you. Sexy invisible man. Oh, brother. Oh, brother. Oh, I found you. Oh, oh. Russell. Okay. My question is, would you rather eat Thanksgiving dinner forever or be Thanksgiving dinner? What? His reaction was so good. He was like, what the fuck? What? I would like to be Thanksgiving dinner. I enjoy getting stuffed. That's where I started the other question. I don't really like Thanksgiving, so I'm going to have to be Thanksgiving dinner because it was split. Okay. I'm going to open it. I don't like Thanksgiving dinner. It's okay to be nasty. This is the last question last week because this question is a little too weird, I feel. What question? What? The question about would you hide bodies? Like, how many bodies can you fit in your car? Well, that's. I'm so old. You can't do that anymore. I'm so old. I'm calling you out on that. Yeah. That's stupid. You used it again. Well, and it's one of those things like, do I have to fit them in there in full pieces or can I cut them up? Are they long? No, rules were they have to be full bodies, but yeah. Frank, would you rather be Thanksgiving or be Thanksgiving? No, I would eat Thanksgiving because I fucking love food. I wouldn't eat Thanksgiving because I would like to live. Yeah. Cisco. I'm going to eat it. Well, no, no, no. I'm thinking of it as a metaphor. I would like to be Thanksgiving dinner. No, she's not doing a metaphor. It's not a metaphor. It's literal. Would you eat it or would you be it? Nobody fucks a turkey. What's wrong with you? Tons of people do. Actually. I'm sure plenty do. Just type it in. Fine. If you're going to rain on my parade and make it literal. I'm going to rain on your parade. We're raining gravy on your parade. Gravy. You would eat it. It's gravy. And then I'm going to vomit it all over you. So Julie would be Thanksgiving. I'm into that. I mean, no. I just really don't like Thanksgiving dinner. Why? That much? I don't know. I don't really enjoy it all that much. You'd rather be eaten. I've lived a good life. It's because she's been to London. She's like, it's done. I'm done. I'm over it. I'm over it. He's just going to ask her. I'd rather eat it. No Thanksgiving in London. On December 21st, 2012, do you think anything will happen? Ooh. Ooh. Interesting. See, it is a very important date. My friends and I are throwing a party. Really? I'm excited. It's an end of the world party. The end of the world. I think the world will end and start again. What will be the world ending? Like, what is it? The world ending? Do all iPods shut up? No, I mean, it could be a number of things. There are lots of things out there. Oh, yeah, like Y2K? Yeah. Ugh, disaster. Are we going to be in Revolution? Because then we'll all have J. Crew tops. You mean Revelation? No. Revolution, the new show about- The horrible NBC. 15 years to the future. All the electricity is gone. I don't hate it that much. I don't hate it that much at all. Why is everyone so clean? I haven't watched it yet. No spoilers. Um, because there's water still. Ugh. Why are their clothes so perfectly clean and ironed? Because they clean each other? Just because you- Just because you don't have electricity means you don't- You don't have other means. I'm sorry. Everything is a little too well made there. Well. They do live in, like, towns and villages and stuff like that. And before there was power, people still kind of- It's not fucking- It's only 15 years in the future. I mean, maybe they found a bunch of pallets full of gap clothes or something. They found a nice gap that hasn't been taken over yet. Gap will survive everything. Were you expecting, like, a Mad Max future and, like- Ah, yes, yes. And, like, teachers are like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I lose power. I expect us to fall directly into a Mad Max type future where we are on the roads blowing each other up. I anticipate this. You anticipate this? Yes. Well, how long was New York without power? They did that. They were- It's not quite Mad Max. The only reason that they could not accomplish that was they also did not have gasoline. Oh, my goodness. I just- I feel like- You put too much thought into some of these things. I feel like there was good points to the show that's currently- I think there's good points. I just overall didn't care. I just didn't care. Anyways, please. Okay. So we've done our questions and now this is the most amazing time of the day. Marry, fuck, kill. Buffy style. What? Marry, fuck, kill, Buffy style in your face. In your face. And I'm very happy about this one because I love Buffy. So there you go. How much do you love Buffy? Would you marry Buffy if you could? I would not marry Buffy. I'd marry her. No, I mean, would you marry the show? Would you marry the show? Yes, I would marry the show. I would marry the show, Buffy. How much do you love it? Do you? Would you marry it? Would you marry it? No. Would you like an R2-D2 engagement ring? Yeah, I would. That was really awesome. Did you guys see that, by the way? You guys need to check this out. Some dude made his fiance an R2-D2 engagement ring. It is fucking badass. No, don't come in here doing that shit. Get out of here. Frank is wearing a Frank and Weenie shirt. Do you just want an awkward conversation from the whole Buffy thing? Buffy universe? Because I have one. Do you? Okay. I actually remembered it after the meeting. So I worked at a prop house back when they were doing, right before Buffy started. And the set decorator came in and was like, okay, I need an apartment for a vampire with a soul. What the hell does that mean? So he describes this whole show. And then he came back the next time and he said something about it. And I'm like, well, if you're doing your job right, nobody's going to know that you did your job. Right. Which was very awkward because the look he gave me was like, how dare you insult the fact that I'm a set decorator? You stole my soul. I did. I stole his soul. You stole his soul, which probably helped him with the soul finding of the apartment. I don't even remember what his apartment was. It was like very like, he did his job really well. You're not supposed to look at the apartment. You're supposed to be acting. It was like bricky loft, lofty apartment, but I'm clean and I obviously have expensive things. Just bringing it around to the title. Anyway. That's awesome. I love that story. So we're going to have you reach in. Pick your three. All right. I've got my three. All right. Do I get to go first? Yeah. Hooray. What am I supposed to do? Say all the names or just say them all? And then you can declare. Okay. I have Principal Snyder. Sexy. Yes. Very sexy. Is there anyone that looks like a little rat? Glory or Glorificus? What? Glory. That's love. Okay. And Hank Summers. Portrayed by Dean Buller. From what was it? Little House on the Prairie? Yeah. Oh. Oh, let's see. Well, I think I'm going to have to kill Glory right off the bat. Only because she seems like she would be a mean person. Yeah. And not mean in like a good sort of Vamp Willow way. Right. No, she was a bitch. She was really a bitch. Yeah. I think I will marry... I'll marry Principal Snyder because that doesn't necessarily mean I have to give anything to him. I can be a kept woman. He's got a job, right? He does have a job. And then I can fuck Hank Summers because Dean Buller. Come on. He's cute. Even though he was a robot. She's got a grin on her face. Wasn't he a robot in that show? I think so. I don't know. I don't remember. Wait. Who was he again? What was he? Oh, no. He wasn't the robot. He was just Buffy's dad. Yeah. He wasn't really in anything. Who was the guy who played the robot? Who played Adam? I don't remember. I don't remember. No, no, no. It wasn't that. It was when... When his mom... Yeah. When her mom was dating. When Joyce went on a date with somebody. And I can't remember the guy's name and I feel really bad. You're all terrible people. He was in Three's Company. He died. He... Jack... Oh. It's an iRobot Eugene. John Ritter. Thank you. Yes. I was like, Jack Tripper? No, that's the character. Yes. Jack Tripper the robot. Awesome. Okay. Anyway. I would... Who's going? Who's going? Who's going? Who's going to do that robot? Okay. All right. Let's have Cisco reach his hand into my box. Ooh. Oh, it's so warm. I know. I keep it warm. Oh, I can't get my hand out. Get it out. Get it out. Get it out. Okay. Thank you. Let's see what I have. I have Miss Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy. Oh my gosh. I have Miss Allison Hannigan as Willow. And I have Glory as well. So... You got girlies. Glory's dead. No, love. Love for Glory. I'd fuck Buffy because some of those gymnastic moves and that... Right. She's a cheerleader. She's a cheerleader. Everyone wants to fuck the cheerleader. Even the gay man. So just do the splits on you. And of course, like, Willow initially would be my fag hag and eventually we would just settle for each other and marry Willow. You would marry a lesbian. Yeah. We'd be each other's beards. Isn't that against your gator? No. It actually, in the past, it happened a lot. They were beards for each other. That makes sense. But I thought like the new community, the new thing that's like always on. Ew. So, yuck. I'm not mainstream anything. I'm so hip that I'm not hip. You're so hip that you're not hip. That you'd come around to her. Oh, right. You know how that happens. So would you want dark Willow or would you want like... Like nice Willow, cute Willow. Do you want dark Willow to like, you know, rough you up a little bit? No, I do that. No, you don't want to go to like her dungeon? No, I'm okay. I want her to make me cookies. That doesn't seem plain to happen. I don't want anything. I want her to take care of my house. Do you want like pre-witch Willow? Or do you want witch Willow? No, I want witch Willow. I will allow her to continue delving. Witch Willow. Oh my God, you will be the worst, like biggest asshole-y husband I've ever heard from a law. I feel like dark Willow would be more fitting for you though. I know. Because instead of regular cookies, you'd get like human flesh cookies, which is kind of what you want. I mean, don't you want flesh cookies are delicious, but she's not going to get my recipes right. I thought you said that you wanted her to make you cookies. Obviously, she's a woman that can make cookies. I want her to make me regular cookies. She can make you flesh cookies. Human flesh cookies. Human flesh cookies are tough. They come out chewy if you just don't make them right. But she's dark Willow. She's perfect at everything. Oh dear. Oh my gracious. Always criticizing. Always criticizing. It's like, you know what? You'd be the worst. Chauvinistic pig that you are. You'd be exactly the guy I would date, so shut up. Shut your mouth. Really? Would you date me? Stop. Stop using that voice. Stop it. Stop that. All right. Let's get Frank's hands all up in my box. Oh God, there's slime. There is no slime. What is that? Is that a seed? Oh my God. Is that a hand? All right. I got three. I'm going to say something mean to him in a second. I got Rona, the Vampire Slayer, Olivia, and Halfric. Okay. He's silly. Hold on. Hold on. Well, I don't really care for... Well, actually, I didn't care for Olivia, so I'm just going to shoot her. She's gone. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, Olivia. Bye, Olivia. I'm going to fuck Rona because, well, I mean, she's there. And we know how picky Frank is in the sexual department. She seemed pretty uptight during the show, so I just feel like maybe, you know, if she had fun once in a while, she wouldn't be such a bitch. Do you have that philosophy in life? Yes, I do. Somebody just needs to get fucked because they're uptight? Yeah. Oh my Lord. Loosen it up all in there. That's where you keep your uptightness. Loosen it from the inside. In your cooch. That's why we're all reaching in your box today, to help you with that. Oh, really? Oh, God. And I would marry Halfric because she would kill me if I didn't. That's true. I'll let Stacey go before me because I haven't quite figured out. No, I am host. I had to side order. Yeah. Yeah. She is host. I haven't quite figured out. I don't care. Don't pick up on my show. I wasn't trying to take away your show. I was trying to be nice because I can't figure it out. Well, you haven't chosen yet. Choose now. Choose now. Choose now. There, it's chosen. Broking the fourth wall. Broking the fourth wall? Okay, so I have the master. That is improper English. Oh, I'm sorry. I have the master, principal wood, and odds. Because. Well, okay. I would obviously sleep with Oz. Except for that one time a month when he turns into a werewolf. Dude, I would marry Oz. I had a bird named Oz after him. That's true. Oz would be married. I would, I think, go along with the same lines as Julia and marry the principal because he's got a steady job. Plus, he can. Plus, if I was like Buffy, he could help me slay vampires. Because eventually he does. Because he's kind of awesome that way. And I guess I would kill the master because he's the master and why wouldn't you kill him? I guess. And he lives underground. I think he could probably provide for you. He's not really all that good looking. I know. He tricks a little child as the chosen one for him. And I, no, I'm killing him. He's the master. It's done. I don't think the master would be a perfect husband for you. It's done. He would take care of you. No, I like the principal. He likes the principal. He's the master. He's the master. He's the master. He's the master. He's the master. He's the master. He's the master. He's the master. He likes the principal. He likes the children. He likes the principal. He likes the children. He likes the children. He likes the children. He likes the principal. The master is dead. All right. Now I will pick. Miss Anastasia. All right. Hand in own box. You're touching your box. Ew. Ew. I don't want to watch this. I'm done touching it. Get over it. It's happened. That was disturbing. So is your face. Oh, I'm good. Okay. So I got principal Robert Bob Flutie. Everyone got principal. I got Ginny Callender. What? And then I got Spike. What? Well, we know what Spike is. I can't even live right now. Let's kill Spike. So I would marry Spike because he would be the perfect man for me. No, he would not. He would be the perfect man for me. Actually, yeah, he would. He would. I agree. In every possible way, right? Like, seriously. Yeah. If you know anything about me, Spike would be the ideal person to marry me. Yeah. So I'm going to murder him. We're going to have babies. Babies. Little vampire babies. Little vampire babies. Are they going to sparkle like the Twilight ones? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. They are not going to sparkle. No. No. They are not going to sparkle. No. No. Be nice to our guest. No. She brought up the dark word. Ironically. Twilight. Shh. If you say it one more time. They'll come here. I know. I'm going to fuck Jenny Callender. You can't do that to Miles did. Because I don't really want to fuck the principal. Ew. Yeah. I would rather fuck Jenny Callender. She is kind of a sensible chick. She's like new agey. She probably knows some tricks. I'm like, why not? Like, why not screw her? She entertained Giles, so she's probably pretty good. Maybe Giles would join us. I'm okay with that. That's cool. Or the Ripper. Or the Ripper. I like Giles as the Ripper much better. The Ripper could join us. Whatever. I mean, it would be better if he joined us. But okay. He's also King Uther. I'm going to kill Principal Robert Bob Flutie because he dies in the series. I don't know why. I'm sorry. Spoiler alert. He gets eaten by hyenas, which aren't really hyenas. He's just eaten alive by like children that are possessed by hyenas. I'm okay with that. So that's like, he's already going to die. He's being Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, it happens all the time. He is Thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes it happens to me. I'm like, seriously, stop eating me alive. Get over it. So that is my chosen. So we're about wrapping up. So we're going. I know. Like what? What? Balls? Balls? Can we have my hammer is the penis like played once? Like this is my episode. The hammer is my penis. Thank you. The hammer is my penis. The hammer is my penis. She's being counted by a hammer. Well, thank you all for listening to our Buffy episode. We have a wonderful guest again, Julie Kirkman. Julie Kirkman. And if you have anything to plug and you're in plays and stuff, go ahead. Plug things. Plug things. Well, right now, I'm appearing in Angel Academy at the Next Stage Theater. It's on Wednesday nights. So, you know, if you're not one of those people who sleeps on Wednesday nights, come sit. Awesome. And your website is? JulieKirkman.com. Check her out. She's a great actress. We love having her on. And please follow us on Twitter. Follow us on Facebook. We have Pinterest now. We have Instagram. We have all kinds of amazing stuff. So social whore us out, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Next week, our host is Rachel. And we will have Bernie. Bernie Bregman from Nerds Like Us. Thank you. So check out their Facebook and all that jazz because they have some amazing like screenings, nerd screenings. And I think they just had- They had one just last night. I think of Lost Boys. Lost Boys was last night. And they have amazing ones. So check them out. And that's our episode. Yay. Bye, guys. Bye, guys. See you next week. Sad now. Oh, it was so nice seeing everyone. Ew. What do you do? Stacey. Stacey. I suddenly fell in love with you. I know, right? Stacey. Let's run away. Let's run away together. I feel like I have to start a punk band now. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Colour tools for sociopath, sassy pants. Get ready. Initiate a walk-word conversation in 3, 2, 1.