Deflategate rant, Super Bowl props, and Katy Perry debate

Pistol Grip And the beat goes on Aliens in the sky Yes Hot Jads LA Back After last week off And my balls are deflated, CJ You do have deflated balls The worst, kid I'm telling you Can I get that cup, by the way? You got one right there, buddy And the tissue fell out I got you a tissue So you can cry about Deflate Deflate Oh, ridiculous I've just gone through all the motions of Denial, anger, acceptance It's all bullshit It's a distraction It is all bullshit It's just They're turning the NFL into Professional wrestling with all the drama Well, it's America It's people like to draw a line Good guys, bad guys We like that narrative My people are good Everyone else is fucked up It's why religion is so popular Everyone likes to say My people are good You guys are messed up But there's no way You know, I've been I am the first I'm the rare Patriot fan As the first one to jump up And attack Belichick But goddammit If Bill Belichick and Tom Brady Say they didn't do it I believe them You know what? They seem to be But what about Spygate? Spygate, the worst thing ever Look it Spygate is ridiculous People don't even know what it is And people always love to say Especially, you know Rosie O'Donnell's of the world They haven't won anything Since Spygate First of all They've had the best record In the NFL since Spygate Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute Rosie O'Donnell is culminating On the Super Bowl And on this situation? Or did you just pull that Out of your hat? No, yeah, absolutely Freaking Rosie O'Donnell Was saying the Patriots should Have to forfeit And not play in the Super Bowl And the only reason I know this Is because my father's been retired For 20, like 22 years now And this is why I never want to retire Because he sits around at home And watches The View He watches Rosie O'Donnell Are you kidding me, Rosie O'Donnell? I would love to throw A 11.5 PSI pressure-filled ball At her freaking fat grill I could say that on the internet Because he said that on like Real radio People would be up in arms But fuck that freaking dyke, dude Forget it, forget it I don't care about her Why's she gotta be a dyke? Why can't she just be Because You could say that on the internet I don't care There's nothing wrong with that I'm a little bit more sensitive Right She can come back and call me Whatever she wants She can call the Patriots winners How dare they? I'm fired up about this I need this, CK They're just creating drama For the Super Bowl, man It's all written out The year before Each season's written out Well, it's hilarious I watched that morning Of the Super Bowl It's scripted That morning of the Super Bowl Of the AFC Championship That very freaking morning They do a sports science episode on it, right? What happens in the cold weather Because they were actually Talking more about the The week before that in Green Bay Actually, two weeks before Sorry, man My timeline's getting thrown off Anyways, they say Ball pressure can drop by 20% Time has come today No, ball pressure can drop There's no way Okay, I think they give Bill Belcher They love that evil Like rolling up his black mustache Having somebody Why would a guy who's been in the NFL For 30-something years Almost 40 years Decide Under the fucking blue To do something Where the referees Handle the balls in every play That's what seems to get lost In this whole thing is Do they think they're that smart That they would be able to Pull that off on the referees Who touch the balls On every fucking play? Yeah It's like somebody's gonna throw And the balls are out there on the field Once they're brought out So people can watch and see If anybody's There's a timeline Doing anything to the ball They They're not like Hitting in the back room For a while, are they? They check them in They check them in This is the process From what I've gathered And I've learned a lot about In the last few days The referees check them in With some kind of gauge Or something like Oh, good, good, good, good, good They put them in a box They put them away For a while And then like An hour or two hours Before the game They wheel them out on the field While everybody's warming up Yeah And the team has access to them Now Do they really think That they're that smart That they can have some person Go over and take a pin And stick it in there In plain view Of everybody? Are they Yeah Are they really gonna take that risk? Especially what happened Is it really the risk versus reward That much That they would put themselves out there Because if it It happens now Especially now Belichick had that Press conference And Adam Lee denied it And Tom Brady as well If it comes out That they were doing it Somehow, some way They're fucked They're fired It's over Yeah, so do you think They would jeopardize Their careers on it? I know, I'm right And lying about that? Lying about that, exactly When there's Everybody's got a camera phone There's cameras All over the stadium There's people Even back there with cameras And people watching Everywhere You know there's haters Spies You know That hate the Patriots And hate the Patriots And hate the Patriots And hate the other team And they're just hanging out Waiting to I know Are they going to risk Everything for that? No It's like we can't win this game We can't beat the Colts Even though they beat them By 38 points We have to deflate the balls Because we can't beat them Are you fucking nuts? Yeah They've been doing it For 40 years Yeah You think that They're just going to Risk everything For that? No The arrogance You know And everyone's A little spygate Getting back to spygating You know what that was? Yeah They had a camera On a dude Giving signals You could Hire CJ Robinson For You know A bunch of peanuts You would go sit up there Literally for a bag of peanuts And say CJ And a beer I'd want a beer To go with my peanuts A big beer Not a small one But a big one I'm going to get you a seat I'm going to get you Some binoculars I'm going to get you A beer And a bag of peanuts And all I want you to do Is look at this Defensive point And a given signals And write down What the defense is Yeah My first game In Denmark There was Opposing coaches Up on the hill Filming me And my signals Yeah So I just make Other ones up That's on you You do it in public Yeah You know what I mean No but I would tell my guys When I do this It's everything after that Yeah Is fake That's why baseball They come up with these Elaborate fucking signs Yeah That's why they cover their mouths Every time they go out To the thing It's nitpicking dude Nitpicking It is It's nitpicking And it's so I know what it is It's so digestible To any average fan Like we were in meetings The other day And I almost fist fought A 4 foot 11 100 pound If that 90 pound science teacher Woman Cause she comes out Right away You know Doesn't know a full back dive From a swan dive Yeah And comes out right away And goes They were 2 pounds over And 11 and 12 balls They were cheating Yeah I was like You fuck No no Yeah You don't know No granted They do beat the crap Out of some of the balls They beat the shit out of them I mean we do it Yeah You know whenever we get Our new balls out Our quarterbacks And receivers And everybody Right in front of everybody Yeah They just beat the crap Out of the balls To get it broken in Yeah You know Cause there's nothing worse Than playing with a brand new ball That's not broken in Exactly And it might lose pressure In the case But they never And to my understanding Do they check these balls Every game Yeah I mean At halftime And stuff like that What's the You know Possibilities Of the quality of the ball You know Not being as good As maybe 1 out of 10 Or 2 out of 10 balls Made Have You know Discrepancy in it That can create Air leakage Or different gauges You know Like Belichick was saying You know I don't think he's that Top of everything But It could have been A different gauge It could have used a gauge And just They probably half-assed it I think that's That's I think the rumor Or not the rumor You said at halftime Of the game They checked the balls And they were low Yeah How many? 11 of the 12 They said we're a little bit They said we're low 11 of the 12 Now are those just The Patriots offensive balls Yeah And then the other 12 Are given to the other team And they didn't check their balls Real quick Both teams get 24 balls Okay To use So they each get 24 Yep Okay They take the 12 That they want to use Okay They test them They put them in a crate They roll them out there And then they say You know And that's it And nobody touches them They're out And they're rolled out In the field For Christ's sake Yep And nobody touches them And but as soon as They get the balls out You know the ball boys Are beating the snot Out of those balls Yeah They get them How they want them I don't imagine Whoever's in charge Of the balls I'm sure there's You know Two, three, four people In charge of ball distribution Yep They just don't Put them in a bag And throw them in a room And say okay There's your 24 Go pick them out And then we'll come And get them Yeah No It's in a big open space Yeah A lot of people Coming and going Hundreds of people There's so many things Going on backstage In a football game Yeah You know It's not like They go in the locker rooms And they each have Their own little room And their own space And Like an open space It's like a little silent film A guy walks in With a black hat There's so many officials Involved It's not just the officials On the field But you have the Sideline officials You have the officials That watch the officials You know You have the people Up in the booth You've got cameras Everywhere You don't think One of them would see This guy and be like Hey This guy's deflating The balls And he's just He's gonna decide In this fucking game Of all the games They've played Literally hundreds of games That they're gonna do that For this game Yeah Yeah Absurd Maybe they invented Some kind of little Finger thing That the ball boys Or whoever Can put on their hand Like a magician And they can just Pretend to be Massaging the ball Or something And they put this Put a hole Put the little pin I might be inventing Something here Yeah You know But these guys Are smart over there In New England They make the average fan Feel dumb And I think that's Probably part of the problem With so many people Hating on the Patriots Is because the people That hate them Are dumb people Yeah Yeah That's part of it And the reason Tom Brady Fucking throws strikes Every day So that new New England education Dave Yeah Really You know Really Number one Some of the best Colleges in the world And prep schools And boarding schools Come from New England So you get some In Belichick He's a product Of that environment No question about it So he's definitely Smarter than about 99% of the people In the NFL 99 of the retreads Yeah That get turned over And over again Every coach is the same Like So maybe he did Invent the little Finger thing I was talking about If he did Had someone over At MIT You know Figure it out That if you put This special Towel With an ointment On it Over the ball It will take About a pound Of air Out of it And no one Will notice It doesn't Yeah right I have a computer Program that will do it We just need to Rub the computer On the mouse The mouse On the ball And we'll be able To extract A pound of air Out of it And we'll be good To go No one will notice The referees Who touch the balls In every single play Will notice You know The big story was Of course This is ESPN Sources at ESPN Say oh Oh really ESPN saying It Must be right Yeah Yeah It's the same Sources that Never mind It's the same Sources that Witnessed That said Someone was offended By taking a shower With the gay dude No it's the same Yeah right It's the same Well it's the same Sources that Evil four letter network The same The same sources That killed Joe Paterno And I don't care What they say And I have wasted Way too much of my life Reading comments On sections of Yahoo Kid Yahoo articles I read I read comments I don't know why I'm no better Than any of them They get your blood boiling They do get your blood Boiling man And realize How stupid And vindictive And just mean spirited People are Yeah People want a conspiracy Let's speak of a conspiracy Pete Carroll thinks That 9-11 was a conspiracy Yet nobody talks about that To me that's the most Egregious Act Of What's the word I'm looking for Fucking heresy What's the word When you're against country Blasphemy Not blasphemy Jesus help me out here No Jesus Treason For Christ's sake Treason Treason Yeah If you really think The United States Remember what they did To the Dixie Chicks If you really think The United States government That includes Military personnel Yeah Because that's the thing Everybody hates the government But they love the military Even though the military Is the government Yeah The military is the Straw nom of the government If you're saying The government did You're saying The United States military Destroyed the Twin Towers I think the The US government Had something to do With this deflate gate They might have You know It's the same Freaking us against them I'm righteous You're wrong Well they need something To talk about About this game You know They just can't talk About the players And the coaches And backstories About the kids And this and that They gotta have some drama You know You know The opening shot You know You know how many Close ups of balls There's gonna be During the Super Bowl Yeah You know what I'm saying These balls There's gonna be A bunch of close ups I guarantee you They're gonna be Zoom out shots Let's predict I wonder if that That should be a prop bet It is a prop bet Speaking of prop bets How many times Do they show a close up Of the balls The prop bet is And I love this I would say over 15 Really It's two and a half Really It's two and a half The deflate gate mentions Two and a half I like the under Yeah I think they're gonna Go out of their way To not say anything about it I think they'll mention it once Really They may mention it twice Alright They'll mention it Are you Is that the prop bet How many times it's mentioned I know That's obscure That's obscure Because it's like One of those things I know it They're still gonna show The ball Because it's on Everybody's mind They might not mention it Yeah But I guarantee There's gonna be A lot of close ups On that ball Sure Guys rubbing them down Yeah Guys doing things to them Kickers doing it Like hey How do you How do you cash in On those prop bets Yeah You know what I mean What are some of the other Prop bets that are out there Oh segue Nicely done You're learning You're learning Katy Perry's a Product of a lot of those Over under A combination of Black or brown hair It's two to one With Katy Perry Okay Purple hair is five to one That's what the big money Is leaning towards Purple hair for Katy Perry Yeah Who the fuck is Katy Perry By the way I don't know She dated that one English comedian That looks a lot taller on TV But I think in reality He's only five foot two She married him Oh really She was married to him What's Yeah What's his name Russell Brand Russell Brand Yeah Who's a freak too Yeah He's going around Invading banks and what not To prove a point about The one percent rule in the world Really Yeah Yeah He interrupted some guy's Lunch in Ireland So he made a big stink About it on the internet And wrote a big letter You know Huh And then Russell Brand bought him lunch And wrote a letter back And said sorry Blah blah blah Huh Yeah I wasted about ten minutes Of my life reading about it I know I do that all the time And I'm addicted I'm addicted to it But he's a good example Of how television Television Television can be deceiving Of course it is Because if you look at him And see him in the movies And what not He looks like a pretty tall guy I'd say six two Six three Big lean guy But I've seen him next to Other people who I know Their height And he's not He's not that tall Well that's Hollywood in general I know You found that I found that out Moving out here And everybody in television Has big heads You look at Everybody in television Their head is bigger Than their body And that's part of the Yeah no It's part of the requirement For you Yeah It's one of the things You look at Especially sitcom actors Yeah Heads are definitely Bigger than their bodies Really Oh yeah I got a big head Yeah Maybe I can have You do well on television Dave That's why we have At least four or five viewers For this Because they want to see Our big heads And our little bodies I got a face built for radio I've said that before What song Will Katy Perry perform first The bigger question is Could I even name A Katy Perry song I like one song from her Yeah What is it No idea I just know I've heard it It's not one of the songs It was a good Hear me roar That's the second one Thank you I said I couldn't hit notes I could hit that note I don't know that song The three to two odds Firework is number one song That's the one I like Firework Really Roar is number two At three to two I guess one and A Yeah This is how we do No clue I don't know if that's a cover Of the old Montel Jordan song This is how we do it I think it's a different song Yeah But And then of course I like this better You know Taking it off the board It's something like Twenty to one But Lenny Kravitz Is supposed to be there too Some kind of bastardized Shitty version Of American Woman That dude Makes so much money From cover songs Lenny Kravitz Yeah He's had a good song I've seen him live I saw him With What was Shannon Hewn's band Blind Melon Blind Melon And Bastin Really Yeah I saw him at Northeastern College Hockey rink It was a good show You know But It was like You know Blind Melon was good Because they're organic And edgy and raw Whereas Lenny Kravitz He's too overproduced Too Manufactured Yeah Yeah He's a Hollywood kid And that's why he does well At these events Is because Everybody identifies with him He's a Really I don't know Roxy Why do you think he Because he's done other shows Halftime shows It's like Where's he been since then You know It's amazing to me The average NFL fan Has no idea Who Katy Perry is They are pandering They're kowtowing To the fringe Fans You know You're 13 14 year old girls There's a huge There's a huge women audience too Well yeah But I don't even think Women really You know Like your average woman Yeah 30 year old plus Really a Katy Perry fan You know Average woman That reruns With you know Plastic inflatable kind We don't Why can't we get like Slayer Play halftime You know That's a good football band Or some gangster rap Not really You know Bring an ice fucking tea Out there NWA Seriously You bring some fans I like the new guy From Chirac Chief Keef Big ups to the Chief Keef crew Chief Keef been around a while Yeah Yeah One of these days Kanye's gonna do it Yeah One of these days Yeah Or maybe we'll have A Jay-Z and Beyonce combo I think we already have Have we? I'm clueless I think it was last year Clueless Yeah Welcome back to the planet TJ I think I know I usually just Because the Patriots Are in it so much I'm usually stewing About the freaking game Just pacing around Like a lunatic Yeah What is wrong with me? I'm usually pretty Hammered by halftime so I spend too much time alone You know I'm watching the news This week I was losing my shit Because the two Top stories In the national news On CBS Were Deflategate Or ballgazy If you will And it's snowing In January In Boston In the east coast Yeah they have a big Blizzard coming up Fucking January It always Oh This is national news It's hot in the desert What the fuck? You're kidding me Really? This is national news Yeah And you know The fall of the government In Yemen Not that I even care I don't even know If you pronounce it Yemen But there are other Fucking things Yeah And I always love to bring This is my fun fact That I always love to bring out 4,000 kids Die a day From lack of access To clean water Yeah Fun fact huh But we're gonna talk about it Yeah We're gonna talk about How many fucking PSI You're in a ball Mmhmm The fuck is PSI anyways? Oh it stands for Pounds per square inch You've been to fucking Thank you I wanted to guess that Let's get back to football Football Let's get back to football Football's for the devil Anyway Vince Wilfork This is funny This is a funny story to me Vince Wilfork After the AFC championship Last week Was driving home On Route 1 On Route 1 Route 1 Route 1's awful I don't know if you know It's terrible Lady flipped her car over Or Jeep Cherokee Whatever Vince Wilfork Goes in Pulls her out The lady was hammered They immediately arrested her For DUI I don't know why I think that's funny Yeah But imagine that You're drunk as hell You know she's Washing the pats Because that's what Everybody in New England does It's a cult That's why everybody hates it Go pats Go pats I don't know anybody From the region Who does that Doesn't watch The Patriots When they're on TV I don't know anybody It's like when they show Green Bay games And they show the city And town of Green Bay Nobody's driving Yeah everything's closed It's what you're doing You know what I mean But that lady She watched the pats Woo Listen to the freaking EEI You know all these And all of a sudden She flips her car And next thing you know Vince Wilfork's Pulling her out She's probably You know She's probably Some racist Some suck It's like Ah get your hands off me You filthy negro Yeah Oh it's It's Wilfork Yeah I'm drunk So obviously She wasn't injured If they took her to jail I don't know why Well I think they took her To the hospital Then to jail Alright And cuffed her to the gurney I need to go to the hospital Let's talk about football For Christ's sake Football's for the devil God damn it How did Green Bay Lose that game Did you watch it Of course How did Green Bay Lose to Seattle I'll tell you why Because Russell Russell Wilson is blessed Yeah That's another thing He threw four interceptions I know I think How many points did Green Bay Offer any of those interceptions Like 12 Not enough Yeah Not enough That's what scares me About this Super Bowl To get back to the actual game I think Russell Wilson Laid his egg And I think Because his statistics And I was thinking this The whole time Because Look it It's regression to the mean You can't perform At the highest level All the time So it's gonna be a time I'm gonna drop And I think he dropped And I don't think He's gonna drop To that low point again I mean that was He was They were primed to lose Seattle was primed to lose To be given the game away I just don't know If they're gonna be able To do that They're gonna do that again Yeah You know what I mean And But that game was absurd The guy makes the pick Burnett And he takes the knee And falls down Instead of running up The sideline Could've got him In field goal game Would've been over The onside kick Hits the guy off The freaking face And it's amazing That Twitter's here That's why I don't do Twitter anymore My boy does Twitter for me If you're listening J Rose thank you But I don't do it Because it scares me People threatening the guy Kill the guy Yeah The guy He should die Because he didn't make a play On an onside kick I know Oh it's gross Mighty cold up there In the frozen tundra It's gross man I just don't even Let's get drunk And tweet Negative things I know I don't even have that much Fucking like attention span To even pick up my phone And do that I just want to bitch To whoever's next to me And I watch the games Alone by myself So I just bitch to the wall But I just don't think Of picking up my phone And be like I'm gonna get out here And be really hateful To somebody Yes I should People get their rocks off Doing that man Yeah I get their rocks off Just going on here And bitch I just Store it all up You know And blow my load Once a week And that two point Converger in that game It was like an Ephus pitch Russell Wilson Just threw it up And ha ha Clinton Dick's Favorite of the program His name He had a great game He didn't know how to Like he like The ball was up in the air Like that He didn't know how to Judge it And the guy caught it And god damn it Seattle Seattle! I don't know if the Pats can win You can't win! Well I think it has a lot To do with Luck Taking advantage Of opportunities Shit luck And And a lot to do With coaching I think Belichick Is gonna outsmart Pete Carroll You think so? I think it just Needs to be executed On the field Oh that's a cop out Of course I mean That's that Yeah no shit Sherlock Well played Oh they need to play Better than the other team Execution Ha ha Ha ha Execution's paramount Cliché Cliché Douché I know what else Rubs me raw What rubs you raw? Really draws me Offside Is freaking Everybody now Is rocking Not everybody The left eye The one eye Eye black Sticker Have you noticed that? Uh uh You ever noticed that? Well keep an eye out For it now Everybody's rocking The left eye Left eye Lopez Ugh I like left eye Lopez Yeah I don't know why Don't Go chasing Waterfalls Slip and dive And dim Da dim dim dim Da dim dim Chicken parmy Tastes so good Thank god Peyton Man's Out of there Ugh Is he gonna retire Or what? I don't think so I think the Gary Kubiak era Is gonna save his career Ugh Kubiak Another retread What's Kubiak from? There's a Kubiak in a movie I don't know There's a character Named Kubiak I think you're talking About Parker Lewis Saves the world Or Parker Lewis Parker Lewis can't lose There's a guy named Kubiak The big guy His big friend I don't know why Yeah I know what Parker Lewis Can't lose But I know it That was His big freaking friend there With the stupid haircut Kind of looked like you What do you want to listen to? What do you mean? What do you want to put The greatest American hero on? Soundtrack on already? No I'll say I'll give you a choice What's the choice? I don't know Just tell me I got the world At my fingertips right now I'm just glad Yeah I got the world I know The world at our fingertips Those damn things You got the whole world On our fingertips I'm missing the Royal Rumble For this CJ The Royal Rumble Give me some god damn respect Extreme Of course I'm going to go home And watch the Royal Rumble This Sunday Sunday Sunday This Sunday Absolutely Royal Rumble I'm missing it I have no idea What you're talking about You don't watch Professional wrestling? I pity your ignorance I don't watch Amateur wrestling I pity your ignorance Well Yo Put your gears to basketball Because it gets funny Anytime anybody gets caught Busted getting a prostitute I think it's hilarious Greg Anthony Former running rebel You know him? Yeah Do you know him? Yeah he was a Not that much older than you So he might be He was three years older than me Yeah Yeah He was there when you were there Yep Busted for hoes yo You think Greg Anthony Could get women right? Yeah but those are the type Of women that he wants Yeah it's like Charlie Sheen The famous quote You know what I mean? He doesn't pay him for women He just pays them to leave Those guys do Right? Am I right? It's music from the Royal Rumble This is the Royal Rumble right now I've got it for you The Royal Rumble live? Stop it It's Royal Rumble 2014 The Royal Rumble match What kind of What kind of radio program Would it be to sit here Staring at and watching The fucking Royal Rumble? What the fuck? Okay What the fuck? Okay we're just gonna sit here And watch the Royal Rumble Watch us Watch the Royal Rumble Best color man I'm gonna see if there's like A soundtrack to it Give me the background music for The best color man in the business CJ Robinson I know I need to bring my computer in But I always forget You know what's a dumb penalty name? Pass interference Yeah Isn't the whole point of defense Interfering with the pass? Hey Alright I'm only just saying It's true though It's a dumb name Yeah Pass interference You're supposed to interfere With the pass Yeah Stop Alright CJ Okay I'm gonna take that away Royal Rumble I don't wanna see what this is all about You don't even know what it is You said I was ignorant It's a battle royal You are ignorant Why? Cause I don't know Fucking fake ass wrestling That only kids like What do you mean only kids like? Yeah dude It's like I know you're a grown man Watching a kid's show It's like Do you watch Sesame Street afterwards? Oh please I've seen you watch All types of cartoons And things of that nature What cartoon have I watched? Fritz the Cat? Huh? The Fuzzy Furry Freak Brothers? That's the shit I watch I don't even know what that is Is that even something? Yeah cause you're ignorant You don't even do good comics Who's Good politically Satirical comics And you're talking about Freaking fake ass wrestling Guys all oiled up Rubbing up against each other There's nothing wrong with that man Are you some kind of homophobe or something? No it's just not my thing I don't wanna watch it Don't I don't Alright Alright Alright then No I went to go see the other day American Sniper Yeah What's that have to do with football? I don't know This is watching It's not a sec What's that have to do with football Is right What about the Pro Bowl? That place was That was going off tonight I watched a little bit of it These things are getting after it They brought They brought the goalposts in Four feet The NFL is just so weird What? They just They change rules as they go It's like Well it's like the whole ball thing Get back to the ball thing We had our goalposts stolen Before a game In Denmark Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah We had to play a game Without goalposts Someone stole both of them? Yeah Because we take them apart And put them behind a gate In our stadium But they scrap them? Yeah they're aluminum Someone just took them And they're long poles They're like you know I don't know how many meters Or feet or whatever But you can just imagine Two ends Two inside pieces Yeah You know Two They come down I don't know Someone stole them You never heard from them again huh? No It ended up in some kind of lunchbox They said they Probably ended up In a restless lunchbox Ended up in Probably Poland Why? Because a lot of Polish people Come to Denmark And steal shit How far away is Poland From Denmark? 10-12 hour drive Just got to cut through Germany You're there Did you go? No Never been to Poland? No I didn't need Any scrap aluminum Get scrap metal Is a good business I think we should get into that I think scrap metal My friggin I don't even know What do I Scrap metal your TV For watching that crap You're missing What? There's a reason why You're not watching right now Professional wrestling? And you're doing this Professional wrestling? Yeah Yeah because I have The WWE network And I'll go watch it Oh you even have the network? Absolutely Oh you and every 14 year old boy in America Yeah Yeah Yeah Back to this Pro Bowl crap Let's get back to prop bets For fuck's sake I want to bet you Let's bet right now kid I'm going to bet on Will Marshawn Lynch be fined On media day? Yes or no? I might have some Danish money in here Hold on Will Marshawn Lynch be fined? If I know media day I say no Why would he be fined? He's refusing to answer questions In the Gestapo In the NFL In the Gestapo like tactics Yeah Let's get back to the point They're so on top of everything Yeah Like you could get away With just What? Yeah Are you letting him Get out of the ball? Yeah What are you talking about? No like Oh back to pro wrestling No No Sipped the ball in No he didn't see anything Alright yeah I would say No I don't say he gets fined You don't say he gets fined Yeah Will he grab Unless he grabs his nuts Or something Will he grab his crotch After a touchdown? Well how much did he get fined When he did it before? $20,000 Okay and how much Does he make per game? I don't know More than $20,000 Yeah Certainly Yeah Probably not that much more Probably like a hundred Well Well I'm sure he's doing the math What he's making off the Super Bowl What he's made off the playoffs Plus his salary It's worth grabbing your balls right? It feels good Yeah You know his advertisers Probably Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah How about those padss we saw at the down and out Match.com or no Match.com They probably wouldn't support it How about that Those I meant to talk to you about this Those pads we saw When we were leaving that Up on the wall Maxi pads? No the NFL pads I thought you were in the women's bathroom The football The football pads Yeah the old pads Yeah and then the The cup built in Yep I would be curious to see How many players in the NFL Actually wear a cup I would think it'd be Less than 5% I never wore one when I played Less than 5% Yeah But then it used to be Standard equipment Yeah That's all Just wanted to talk about cups You know what I mean I just wore Pretty much my boxers And my girdle My girdle And my pants It keeps it pretty tight It keeps it pretty tight But it's amazing dudes Don't get hit It's funny how guys Don't get hit in the balls more And out more Than hitting the balls Yeah Of course the thigh pads Do offer a buffer zone for that Mmhmm Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Dude like The thigh pads come in For a reason Yeah So they wouldn't get the Yeah but the thigh pads Are so small and skinny these days Not like when we played That's true You know They're a lot thicker I know A lot of them are built in Under armor thigh pads You never see a quarterback Go off and get hit in the balls No It's weird Yeah You know And they're not wearing cups Yeah You know The only time I've ever seen Someone get hit in the balls In football Is during The Adam Sandler Burt Reynolds football movie The one where in prison Oh Longest Yard Yeah And he nails The ref in the balls When he kept on making Poor calls Sure Well in the original one We were talking with Burt Reynolds Which is one of the Greatest movies ever written They do it They let the guy in Like on a screen pass And he just throws in His balls a couple times Yeah Good old fashioned That's the only time I've ever really seen it You know Really you don't I've seen people get The wind knocked out of them And you know Break bones and what not But never in the nuts Common sense would tell you That you would see that Fairly often When we were playing around But you never see someone Get hit in the nuts And just be like Oh I'm hitting the nuts I'm out Oh Hitting the nuts Sounds like some kind of Denmark freaking Heavy metal band Hitting the nuts Bill Belichick Run to my nuts Bill Belichick Hoodie type Sleeves cut Minus 140 I don't even know What that means The minus 140 I think it's If you bet a hundred dollars You lose a hundred Yeah you always Gotta pay the VIG So whether you win or lose Sleeves cut Minus 140 Sleeves even Sleeves intact Even This is another good one Why don't you just send your buddy To make that bet for you And be like Hey I'm gonna do the sleeves cut Here's 20 grand You know Go put it on that As Bill Belichick himself? Yeah I'm saying Why is it Katy Perry Like hey Here's a million dollars I'm gonna fucking Take my hair purple Yeah Here you go Here's a million Oh yeah Any bets where humans Are involved Yeah There should always be Some kind of manipulation Sure And I know it's harder With sports And teams You know But it's been done Yeah But I mean If it's just one person It's like Okay yeah I'm a millionaire But why don't I just bet Because I know the outcome Katy Perry I'm gonna bet a million dollars On my hair being polka dotted Oh shit Whoa What happened to the polka dotted You can't You tell me you can't Lawn to that money That's what I should do I should find a Katy Perry song We can play Yeah Yeah So Talk amongst yourselves It's CJ in the corner No I need your response On these This is a I'm listening This is a back and forth segment What We need angles Where's angles Where's angles I don't know He's probably freaking Touching himself in Santa Monica I wish I would touch him Laying naked on the couch Watching football replays Oh we're under Showing Giselle On TV During the Super Bowl One and a half I'm gonna take the under I think they're only gonna Show her once But again Those are such Ambiguous bets Because At the end of the game If the Patriots Are blowing them out They're gonna show her Yeah A bunch of times You know Yeah Who is President Obama Gonna pick This is my favorite Katy Perry song That's the first time I even know what Katy Perry's song was Real cool So far so good Our engineers rocking out Yeah OXJJP You didn't play So I have a fucking point I'm not gonna sit here And listen to fucking Katy Perry I didn't bring you on here To DJ Katy Perry Come on She's playing the Super Bowl The biggest game in football Yeah good point Good point Phoenix This fails Yeah thanks Fail Yeah I know I don't know how anybody Listens to her Look I like good music You like good music But I don't think Katy Perry's good music I'm just getting old I guess Yes When I was a kid I used to listen Back in 1995 I used to listen To Terry Nunn in Berlin I wanted Soundgarden Terry Nunn had some good songs With melody She did By the way I think we were rocking up Berlin Oh yeah Berlin We were just rocking out On the way over here City of Phoenix Is gonna lose Two million dollars In the Super Bowl How? I don't know They pay to pay Three million dollars And evidently They're getting A million dollars back Somehow So they're gonna lose Two million dollars Why would you even want The Super Bowl? It's like It's like the city of Boston Is a finalist For the Olympics Nobody in the city of Boston Wants them Other than the elite You know the Boston Brahms If you will Yeah Yeah! With the Locust Valley Lockjaw Yes! They want it You know it's always About the people Who want what they want With the money Us regular scrubs Don't know anything Scrubs Speaking of scrubs Johnny Manziel Have done a 180 on him 360 Where's your Johnny in your Sound effects? He's my boy Hold on Hold on Keep talking Keep talking Here's Johnny I know You can't get away Without him ESPN did a long expose Yeah Evidently This fool Is too far gone I don't believe it I still think Was he smoking meth? I don't know They say he's showing up Late to everything I don't know how they can I don't know They're saying that But I don't know how That would avoid the media During the time You know what I mean? The media everywhere They sit out In the fucking parking lot And they know If Johnny Manziel Is going to roll in late Yeah Oh they're supposed to be at 11 I'm going to sit in the parking lot And watch Johnny Manziel Roll in late Yeah But Every day That's what's happening Because he's newsworthy He is Why? A paparazzi would be out there TMZ Sports Right You would think They'd be out there I'm surprised They don't follow that fool around He probably just sneaks in With you know Blacked out windows And drivers And who knows Who knows is right He just walks around He blends in That's I think Part of the reason Why everybody Yeah Looks like he should be In the marching band Or football team Over Arundel 113 million people In the United States Watching the game Over Arundel CJ 113 How many? 113 million I say over I think over too But the last two Super Bowls Have been under I think this is a big one though Yeah I know this is a big one Oh yeah It's a big one Yeah Last year It was Seattle So they have You know They have a huge fan base In Seattle In Seattle But if you look at the demographics On the map You know where all the fan base are And everything Yep You know if your team's not in it You know yeah I might watch it For a little while Or it's Everybody watches the Super Bowl Dude I don't know Everybody watches the Super Bowl No I think there's some people Who are just like You know what My team's not in it anymore Screw it I'm not gonna watch it It's amazing how New England fans One day One day That report These balls Might have been underweight I've been a nice Wild New England fan And I don't wanna watch them anymore I'm outraged I'm outraged at Tom Brady Dude what's going on in the world? What is going on in the world? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? More Katy Perry? More Katy Perry? No Get the Greatest American Hero on there Okay You said it twice Believe it or not I'm walking on air I never thought I could be so free Take it Flying away I'll wane in a prayer Ooh It's me Believe it or not It's just me I miss the TV show Where you could watch it in one episode And like I said In an hour And be like okay I'm satisfied with the You know Conflict Resolution And now If you missed an episode Of any show You're out You're out of that loop I don't get it I just don't have the 80 hours to watch You know Walking Dead seasons 1 through 20 There we go buddy Uh oh Believe it or not Probably have a commercial Believe it or not Commercial first Get through it Oh boy Remember the dude The star actor? No Me either Robert Preston No Alrighty Can't believe it myself We haven't even talked about The national championship game Hold on It's good psychedelic Alright Let's go Alright I'll let you finish Let you finish your thought Believe it or not I'm walking on air I never thought I could be so free Flying away Oh yeah Ringing a prayer Ooh It's me Gotta do a metal version of this Believe it or not It's just Alright Alright Alright We'll give my buddies band Resistance To do it Listen Yeah to play Or Y-I-D-H-R People love nostalgia People love the 80s Nostalgia Speaking of 80s I watched a really cool Live concert Called the Rewind Festival In England 2014 Who highlighted the show? Yeah And it had Who was who? It had You know UB40 The Jam got back together Paul Weller From Style Council Got the Jam back together UB40 The lead singer From Frankie Goes to Hollywood The lead singer I thought he was dead No It was Holly Whatever his name is And he was rocking it The lead singer From Soft Cell He came out Did Tainted Love The only song They've ever did Yeah He did Tainted Love And then they did a remake Of Baby Baby Where did our love go? Well That song was I know Soft Cell did it again A popular version And they also had Sex Dwarf Isn't it nice? Luring disco dollies To a life of vice That was a good song Also had Soft Cell's in your head Yeah Squishing What else? Who else was Oh Howard Jones What is love? Something like that And It was good It brought me back To my high school In eighth grade And you know Years when I first started out DJing and playing A lot of that crap The dude from Bronski Beat You know He was there Bronski Beat? Yeah Yeah Yeah So They had that one song They had a few good songs Back in the days Before revenge porn Yeah Back in the days Before the internet Screwed it all up Back When porn meant something It wasn't It wasn't spiteful Yep Yeah You had to get the VHS tape Make sure no one was home Right And it'd be hard To circulate that VHS tape You might be able To circulate in your block Yep Or put it on channel three This We had a porn channel That you know My parents never got Yeah But if you turned it A little bit in between Channel three and four You can get just enough Within the lines The scribbled lines I know The noises would be enough For you at that point Back then It's amazing how things Have changed Yep And then you go to Football practice Talking about revenge porn Yes Speaking of revenge porn Jermaine Cunningham Former Patriot Mm-hmm Current Jet Dude just got busted And once On one stop I don't understand On this work On one traffic stop He got busted for Glove Loaded gun in his Glove compartment Gangster Gangster Destroying clothes Of his girlfriend Fashion Fashion And revenge And revenge porn Porn Porn How does this happen At one stop One traffic stop You're like Oh yeah Just looking through My glove compartment And I'm just gonna Send something out Real quick Yeah Former Patriot As long as it's not The CHP doing it The Patriot way Well I don't know What did you see Well those two cops Were busted for Stealing pictures off of They'd pull a woman over Take her phone They'd take the pictures Off her phone And put it on their phone No Yeah You didn't hear about that No Yeah And then he would send them To his buddy Show his buddy And they both got popped And fired Scandalous Gangster Gangster Josh Gordon Gangster Fashion Fashion Out for the year Out They're gonna suspend him Next year Busted Last year They They He was Suspended Supposed to be suspended For the year Last year For smoking weed What? I know right They still do that? Yeah And then they tested him And he got popped For freaking drinking alcohol Give me a fucking break What is he like 19? 18? Nah man He's a grown man He's like 23 24 years old But he's gonna be suspended For next year In the NFL season For drinking Fucking alcohol You're kidding me Puritans are taking over You know You know what I mean How does this happen? Yeah The guy can't even Drink a fucking beer God bless puritanical America Well that's why Everyone's so up Land run by dicks That's why everybody's So up in arms about this People love to use football Of all things A game Where people are literally Trying to hurt each other Yeah No doubt And they use this As a sanctimonium Oh How dare he take air Out of the balls Whoa How dare he take balls Alright Enough of this Deflate gate Enough of this Enough of the madness We have nine minutes To talk about the Super Bowl Okay I'm not gonna lie to you Everything else aside I'm a little bit fucking nervous I don't think the Patriots Can match up up front With Seattle I think Seattle's too fast And I think Seattle Let their guard down For a week And I don't think They're gonna be back To being that bad But god damn it I don't like Richard Sherman Yeah Is it racist for me To say I don't like Richard Sherman No Because I think he's a thug Even though he went to Stanford Yeah He's such a smart thugs Yeah You know Hey sugar I got his college degree Exactly You know He's a thug He'd be smart He's from Compton too Oh yeah Richard Sherman's from Compton Huh I didn't think about that But really Richard Sherman If you weren't 6'3 Ran a 4'5 40 I don't think you would've Gotten to Stanford Just saying Yeah I wanna know What his GPA SAT and ACT scores Getting into Stanford Minimum Whatever the minimum was I'm sure he got in But it doesn't matter I'm sure he's a smart guy But he just runs his mouth Yeah God damn it I hope they beat that team CJ You tell him I know It's sad though So much of my life Is wrapped up in that It's really pathetic If you think about it Are you doing Hourly Daily Second minute countdown Do you have like a No Countdown clock On your TV No I want it to be over though So I can have my Sundays back Taking Sundays back You know what I mean Saturdays back Sorry When you said Sundays I was thinking automatically Of a hot fudge Sunday For McDonald's Is that bad? No it's not bad at all Are you kidding me? We're gonna get one Do you like nuts with that? We're gonna get Throw in a pack of nuts We're gonna get some kind of Food on these Garbage trucks On the way out of here Although I only have A couple bucks I think I bought you Enough beers in the Freaking I think you fleeced me Kid I was just Yeah You know That's my payment dude Peanuts and beer dude Woo Yeah right CJ sit there And write down What this guy's doing With his hands It's illegal Spiders CJ's talking about What this man's doing With his hands Yeah The most hate I've seen on Patriots Have come from my Raider friends on Facebook Isn't it ironic? Yeah Isn't it ironic? Yeah Of all things Yeah The Raiders Yeah Al Davis Who am I love You know that's why I think Al Davis Is great for the league But he's the most Scandalous Motherfucker I'm gonna come through The thing I know Backed when you Can be corrupt And that's why They're losing now Because of the karma That he created For the team years ago Really? Football karma You believe that? Yeah Yeah So that's why You know the Patriots Are getting a lot of This shit From You know maybe They did something In the past That no one knows about And they're getting A little karma from it Or it's just written Out in a script You know But if it was Something completely bad Or whatever The Patriots Will lose Ridiculously You know On Sunday Yeah And everybody Will be like We'll forget about This deflate gate thing You believe that? I'm just saying though That if They built up Enough karma Against them You know that they did Enough negative stuff Out there That you know It'll come back by Having Seattle crush them Fuck dude But you know what Pete Carroll That's so subjective CJ Pete Carroll Has created a lot Of negative karma Yeah So it's a battle Of the negative karma Holden's cheating Holden's cheating You know what I mean? I know Face mask is cheating Yeah Handsome face is cheating It's like What the fuck That's why they have Referees Yeah To fish in this stuff To penalize the cheating Right Right It's not like It's this You know Grand concept That there's bad people I know It's a fucking game kid You know It's called gamesmanship Yeah You know It's not that big It's football's version Of flopping It's not that Right You know Look at the guys Flopping soccer Oh he cheated No Let's talk about The guys flopping In the NBA It's worse Oh my god You see that You see that crap Yeah You know Thank god They're getting fined for it And called out for it Technicals and what not But they get away with it A lot of times Yeah You know At least that You know In soccer I don't think they do They just ignore it Or they call it If it's a good one Yeah You know I've watched enough soccer Calcio Football To know that You know They do Guys get ignored a lot When they do flop You know The ref will just be like Yeah whatever dude Lay there as long as you want We're gonna continue playing And then if it's If you're laying there A little bit longer than normal We'll bring out the stretcher To pull you off So you can just get back In the game Yeah This episode Brought to you by Bud Light I know Enough of soccer Yeah I can't believe Oregon Got beat up like they did By Ohio State Ohio State Woo hoo I know O-H I can hear Ohio I can hear Mike Wood I actually texted Mike Wood I did too I congratulated him I know One guy One friend of mine Who went there And played there He's not a dick about it He doesn't rub it in his face Well he's naturally a dick But that's what we like about him You know He's our dick He's one of the guys He's one of the guys But no You gotta give it to Ohio State You gotta give it to Urban Even though he's another Holy Roller You know Jesus favored me Over everybody else Did he mention that In the post? No Like the Hawaiian dress coach? No Yeah right Or Russell Wilson You know Jesus likes me Better than everybody else That's why we won That's such a That's such flawed thinking I wish I wish Aaron Andrews I think Jesus Is gonna punish him this Sunday Yeah Yeah Why? Jesus Jesus carries about PSIs Yeah Carries about pounds per square inch Yeah Wait a minute There was one pound per square inch Yeah I'm Jesus I'm not gonna let this happen I'm gonna give Russell Wilson the win I think that's why Everybody else is getting killed Around the world Because Jesus is so caught up In the NFL And the PSIs That he doesn't have time To think about the people In Africa Or the people in France Or the people You know In Russia occupied Priorities You know Ukraine No Why would he care about that? Exactly He cares about the PSI And the football No but It's football He wants Russell Wilson to win Yeah Everything else goes his side Exactly He sits back In his huge recliner His big lazy boy Yeah With his huge remote control All the remote controls Every channel has ever lived Yep And he sits there And he says No no Sunday Whoa whoa I'm resting for a reason Alright I said this Thousands of years ago I'm gonna rest And watch football And Russell Wilson's gonna Oh real quick Soldier Field What about it? That's where the Bears play right? Yep Alright July 3rd, 4th, and 5th Uh huh The Grateful Dead's getting back together Sure They um That's the last show They played with Jerry Trey from Fish is on guitar Which created a lot of Controversy in the dead community Why? Oh cause there's a lot of deadheads That don't believe in Fish Don't believe in what they're doing Don't like their music And they just talk trash about it Judgment Yeah you know Those are the idiot deadheads That I don't like to associate with It gets back to we talking about Cause I'm into the dead Because they expand my Horizons And they play different kinds of music You know Yep Fish doesn't sound anything like them No They do the same concept of Two set shows with an encore Yep That's about it That's about it You know with With continuous jamming Most of the time Sure The almonds are the same thing Yeah You know Nobody compares the almonds to the dead And Phil Bass player Phil Lesch Guitarist Bobby Weir You know Mickey Hart Bill Kreutzman The drummer Absolutely You know they chose this guy Yeah Along with the keyboardist And another guitarist Right I believe another guitarist So it's like hey If they think he's cool You know Good enough for CJ Robinson Exactly Exactly So back off Trey Pussies There's a whole community out there Really good stuff Oh yeah There's internet memes Up the ass About this thing You know It's back to A song Fundamental We'll bring it back All together Yeah People like to hate other people I know Cause they're good And they can't do what they do You know the friends that I have That bag on Trey Wish they were Trey Right So they're gonna talk shit about them Because their shitty ass band Is nowhere near the caliber As Phish It's why the Raiders fans Wish they were Patriot fans Exactly Why the Browns fans Wish they were Patriot fans Hate on what you can't be Yeah You know Yeah You know You didn't make the sacrifices That they made You know You had to get back You had to get that other job You had to get a chick pregnant You know And But still You can still Become a professional With those things happening to you Sure You know And just appreciate What someone else does Looks like we got about A minute 30 seconds left You gotta wind up This wonderful show With anything informative Well I got about 50 things That I was pre-empted with But Hey Soldier Field Soldier All right Top 10 Recruiting classes right now Again Six year in a row Alabama Alabama That's why Nick Saban Everyone thinks Nick Saban Has all the answers He doesn't He gets all the best recruits That's a good reason Number two FSU Go figure Florida State Has the second best recruit Three This is the one I want USC Is back Yeah Unfortunately They got full scholarships right Yeah they got it all They're back Number three in the country USC is back Letting in those 1.8 GPA guys Four Clemson Five Tennessee Tennessee Yep Six Georgia Seven Ohio State Well how about the receivers That signed to USC He said Yes I can't wait to play for them For the next three years Well Nothing wrong with that Nothing wrong with that Why is that when you said that Yeah A big top recruit That's the way it is I know That's just rad That high school kid knows That you know I'm only gonna be there three years And I'm going pro Oh shit Yeah That's the business kid You know They're not in there There's no school pride You think you want to get An education Yeah Speaking of education Thank you for coming on School No problem School knows so much The Grateful Dead Let's get home And watch that wrestling thingy That you're talking about Because I don't want to be Ignant I will mister I don't want to be ignorant I will mister You think it sounds like We're a couple Let's go home And watch some American wrestling together We'll cuddle up We're at Rosie O'Donnell That's not homophobic No I don't fear Rosie O'Donnell I just don't like it It's homo hatred Alright Well it's not because She's a lesbian Go Pats I need this one That's it We're out Later Bye Outro Music Outro Music