Indiana Jones episode with Sean Owens and Ryan Swapper

Dr. Jones is in the house, y'all. You guys are so good. I'm sure you're so scared to answer it. She's actually singing right now. I know. I'm just taking it in. Hey, Jeff, can you deep throw that mic more? Just take it all in. Deep throw the mic a little bit more. Yeah, just more. More. Yeah. Grab it. Grab it. Good. Grab it. Stroke it. We are tardy for the party, but we are here. We are awkward conversations, y'all. Fashionably late. We got Southern people up in her, too. Oh, my God. Half of us are Southern, aren't we? That is. It's true. It's true. There's a Southern invasion going on. This is our Indiana Jones episode. Yay! The greatest episode ever. A.K.A. Best thing ever. A.K.A. Best thing ever. Unless it's the Joss Whedon episode. But anyway. Can you not buy us a microphone? Thank you, Frank. We were invaded by it. I was going out and we did it by her. Can we get Joss Whedon on the show? If we get Joss Whedon on the show, I might lose my shit. I think we'll all faint if we get Joss Whedon on the show. I feel like Joss Whedon is just attacking us. We'll all be sitting in awe. It's a Crystal Skull reference already. Already. Already. Already. I mean, we had to get into the best Indiana Jones first. Maybe we should introduce ourselves. No Crystal Skulls. Maybe you should tell everyone that is not Sean Owens speaking. That is not Sean Owens. No Crystal Skulls. But it actually was. Sean Owens is our guest of honor today. Dr. Jones. Hey, guys. We also have a silent special guest, Ryan Swapper. He doesn't have a mic, so he's just staring at us. And inhaling wine. Watching all the activity and inhaling wine. He's just kind of sitting in the corner. Inhaling? Ingesting. Inhaling would be weird. Well, you know. You can inhale wine. Why not? You can get into a smoke. Let's put it this way. He barely tastes it. Yeah. He could smell it. Yeah. But I am your host, Anastasia Washington. Darth Boobs, a.k.a. Darth Boobs, a.k.a. Psycho Femme. And we've got Frank, who's doing weird hands above the table. That's what I told you. There's like a move going on. Right? He moves and his hands disappear. It's very weird. Bad Touch Bat Boy, as he's properly named. Hands where I can see them, Frank. Hands where I can see them. Yeah. Can you not do that? Keep your hands to yourself, Frank. We have Rachel Frumkin, a.k.a. Sassy Patty. Hey! We also have Jeff. Jeff, do we have a nickname for you yet? No, we don't. No, we decided it was just Jeff. Just Jeff. Just Jeff. Just Jeff. I like that. We've got Nathan up in her. And his nickname is... The Singularity. Oh, yeah. The Singularity. Whoa, that came up. That took a lot of thought. That's pretty awesome. I like that. Was it a singular thought that you had? I think it was a mistake on my part that he... No. He read. But he likes it, so we're going with it. Yay! Yay! Isn't that the best way? He sounds like a cyborg now. Like, the singularity is coming to get you. When life hands me lemons, I make singularities. We are the singularity. Use us. Right? Resistance is futile. Right. Drink more. Tipsy Cast! Yay! Yay! We're still drunk from last night. Yay! Oh, wrong episode. Wrong episode. You can't say technology now. You have to say Indiana Jones. Indiana... Oh. That's too long. Oh, Indy. Dr. Jones. Indiology. Indiology? Indiology. Indiology. Okay, so let's go to our topics. What? I don't even get an introduction. Oh, I said Dr. Jones. You were at the top. She did in the beginning. Sorry, sorry, sorry. We were on the table. Wait, because Sean needs more. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Sean Owens, Dr. Jones. I'm very excited. I think we've all just been out-divined. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, guys. He's out-divined. We're having wine. I'm very excited. We're talking about Indiana Jones. I'm too hyped up. What Sean hasn't told you, Stacey, is that in his water bottle, it's not really water. It's actually like vodka. So he's got a glass of wine and a glass of flask. That just makes him more attractive. Screw wine. He was drunk. He was already drunk before the show started. That's all I asked. Notice my water bottle, too. Notice my water bottle from the archaeology exhibit. He's like totally like decked out, and I'm still drunk from last night. I'm so... Yay! Magic Castle, we made you our bitch. We did choo-choo magic. It was a magical evening for Stacey. You know that choo-choo for everyone at home was like some kind of weird... Now you see it in how you don't hands. Magic jazz hands. Now you don't hands. Well, we found out that they have a live feed camera. There's a camera in here. Last week, so... It sounds like you guys had an awesome time. Does that actually happen? There is a camera right there. Right there. Right there. Boom. Boom. They can see everything. Oh, I didn't know that. Really? Wait, are they really live? Yes. Always, yes. Can you tell me where? They can see... I told you you should have worn something. They can see your boobs and your magic castle dress. Okay, everybody at home, here you go. Woo! Wait, no, keep it up there. Keep it up there. You didn't bring your whip, did you? I have the bag. Nice. Oh, yeah, yeah. I knew I should have worn clothing today. Dammit. I have the legs. I have the legs. I put some clothes on. It is weird. Sorry, guys. Sorry. I've been naked this entire time. You know what? At least you put plastic on that chair. What did we hear yesterday? What's the difference between naked and naked for all the southerners in the room? Oh, it's naked is when you're in the bath. Naked is just like when you're around the house, you know, like changing clothes. Naked is when you're in public and up to no good. Yeah. Yeah, it's a southern thing. We can all be naked right now. I like naked. Naked. Naked. Naked. I'm going to touch this one. And ideology. Oh, right, people. So, I'm going to touch this one. So, I was going to, I'm trying to figure out if we should just launch into indie fantasies because you dress up as Indiana Jones a lot. Wait, now, not like just at home. You know what I mean? I do dress up. But I do, yes, I have all the, like, the real stuff that you use in the films. I feel like he is lying to serve his teeth right now. He dresses up like that at home. I like that. He finds excuses. If there's Indiana Jones excuses out there, he's like, yes. You know what's weird? When people want me to dress up, I don't. I know. I wanted you to dress up. For this podcast, when we went to the archaeology exhibit, I wore my jacket and, like, boots. But that's it. Like, I didn't wear any of the stuff. I didn't wear the hat, nothing. I don't know. Why do you do that? It's just because now it's expected of me. And then it's just, I don't like to do that. So, you want to be, like, the surprise indie? Yeah. I'm so used to my friends being like, oh, indie again, that I just, I'm used to that reaction. I totally lost my snake. So, do you want to be the next? Oh, yes. That sounded. Do you want to be the next Indiana Jones? Do you want to be Shia LaBeouf? You know, as much as. Shia LaBeouf is the correct pronunciation. As much as that is a fantasy of mine, I love it so much that I don't want anyone to be the next Indiana Jones. I want them to stick with what they say they're doing, which is there will never be another lead in Indiana Jones stories. It's just Harrison Ford. Oh, it's going to happen. No, it is not. Folks listening at home. It's too much of a money machine. Folks listening at home, you heard it here. First, Sean will not turn into Shia LaBeouf on this episode. Well, I definitely won't. That's the original point. I don't know. I've seen his dong. I'm okay with him turning into Shia. Wait, are you talking about Shia or me? No, I haven't seen your dong. Oh, okay. All right. Because I was like, I must have been really dumb. But if you're offering, I mean, we're live. Did I miss something? What did that happen? I must have blacked out. Well, if you missed the night that you showed me your dong, there is a tape. I mean, I don't show it to many people. I have a transcription if you want. We call it the whip. We call it the whip. Oh, I'm sorry. The whip. You brought the whip? The whip. The whip. The whip. I really lost my snake. I don't know where it went. Oh, but speaking of dressing up, I have to tell you this. I just got back from the holidays. Why did it have to be snakes? That's why I wore the snake thing. Very dangerous. You go first. I just got back from the holidays. I need more wine. And thank you. Whoa. Hey. Yes, thank you. I love how you just almost dropped your vodka. We finished the first bottle, so it's on to your bottle now. So something really interesting happened to me. Someone asked me to come back with all the indie gear back to Pennsylvania. I went back to visit. And her kids are like little versions of me where every single day they dress up, they fall asleep in the costumes, they watch the movies every day. They did not know I was coming. And they were dressed up as Indiana Jones watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. And so I went there as Indiana Jones, and they were so little, they bought it. And I signed. I made like the little poster for them as Indiana Jones. I went out in the backyard, showed them the whip. All the girls just had babies. That's adorable. He doesn't peg me to this. Their girls did, yeah. Especially because nobody knew he was coming. Yeah, right. They're like, what are you doing? No. But they asked me to come back. And instead of Santa Claus, they wanted a visit from Indiana Jones. And they are still three weeks later telling their parents it is the greatest day of their life. And it was the highlight of my whole trip. And I might actually turn that into something else where... Make something good out of it. And I have all this real stuff they use in the films. Not screen used, but you know, the same companies. And so a mutual friend of ours has a very professional sort of Disney princess costume. And we might start going to children's hospitals. Oh, that's so sweet. Like that. Yeah. So I think that would be very... I mean, that was the highlight of my trip, just seeing their faces. So I think that would be very rewarding. You're such a good person, Sean. I haven't done it yet. No, no, no. Don't think I'm good. When I come back next time... I'm not. Next time, if I've done it, then you can give me... Yeah, then I can brag. That is not what I meant by fantasies at all. Ryan is just kind of a dick. No, no. Because he hasn't done it yet. Because I'm like bragging about it and I haven't done it. He's getting all the attention for it. By the way, now I have to do it. Now you have to do it. Me and Ryan are going to check in on it and make sure you get it. You have to do it now. Yeah, you do. But that is not what I meant by fantasies. Although that is very cute. Have you ever had indie play? Mr. Jones. You know what? It's Mr. Jones. It's weird that you ask that because I get asked that a lot. And I have been asked to include indie. I hope no one that's family members are listening to this. I have been... Put the radio off, mom. Turn it off. If you're related to me, turn it off. I have been asked by a lot of girls that I have dated to include that in the bedroom. Do you make them dress up like... No, I draw... I draw the line. I won't do it. It's such a pure boyhood thing for me. You don't pull out the whip? No. Like, I refuse. You're so cute. There's been a little tiny bit of the whip was there. And then we just looked at each other and laughed. And we're like, this is weird and stupid. And last Halloween, I was at least wearing, like, part of the costume. Not the hat. I refused. I drew the line. But I was wearing the ripped up Temple of Doom shirt. The hat. The hat. He's wearing... I was wearing the ripped up Temple of Doom shirt and nothing else. So there you go. That's really hot. Yeah. Do you make them dress up like... What's her name? Short round. No, no, no. Like I said, that's not a fantasy of mine. I don't like that. That's crazy. Any other sort of cosplay is great and fantasy stuff. But, like, I don't like the indie thing in the bedroom. See, I would wreck my childhood. It's too pure. It's too... But I'm with Sean. Like, if I had, like, a childhood... Like, a thing that was, like, really dear to me from my childhood, like, I would not want that in the bedroom. That would just freak me out. Yeah. Like a Furby. No, no. No, that's not something sacred from your childhood. That's just fucking creepy. I have to say, you know, I never fucking owned... Whoa, what are you into? I never owned a Furby. It wasn't sacred to me. But, like... Right. I would totally dress up like... Like a girl could... Yeah, a girl could dress as, like, Scarlet from G.I. Joe. I'd be totally fine with that. Because, yeah, I liked it. But, like, it wasn't this sacred, like, thing to me that, like, made me who I am. What about Slate, Leah? I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Leah, too. Yeah. I would totally... That is a fantasy of everybody since Star Wars. Every guy who was, like, in their... You know, born before 1977. Even if you weren't. Even if you weren't born before 1977. No, no. And then way after, I was going to say. Even if you were gay. Well, she's hot. It's just hot. Right? She's hot. It's just hot. And she has her hair back, so she kind of has that gender ambiguous thing going on other than the boobs. So, if you can ignore that, Frank, you're all right. Right. No, I think what Frank is saying is even he would do a slave, like, because he would do a Jovovich if she was like, hey, sleep with me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm afraid of lady pirates. I'm afraid of lady pirates. Like, Hoth, Leah. I mean, she's showing no skin, and guys were going crazy over her. I think it was the hair. Pretty badass. Pretty badass. What's funny about that... The buns and the... Yeah, the... Yeah. And the different braids. They look delicious. What's funny about that is Carrie Fisher is not... Like, super attractive. Objectively. You're right. Objectively. Like, if you watch her in, like, anything else, like, Blues Brothers or anything, she's not particularly attractive. She's like... I don't know. She's not, like, hot. She's pretty hot in Scream 3. Wow. That's kind of like Sigourney Weaver. I mean, she's not attractive, but when you watch Aliens... In Alien days, though, she was a model before that. She was pretty hot. Frank, I feel like you needed to say no straight after this. No straight. The entire conversation. No straight. No straight. No straight. No. Well, Jeff, too. I don't... Jeff, too, is also not... But Jeff hasn't been, like... I go for the He-Man fantasies, so... Yeah, which makes sense. Because, like... Oh, He-Man. Nice. She-Ra, to me, is, like, my childhood. The question is, do you get a boner for Skeletor? But if a guy asked me to dress up like She-Ra, I'd be like, sure. Yeah. You guys get it? Because Skeletor is, like, a skeleton. Skeletor bones. It's weird. Like, I would do, like, a Han Solo. I would dress up as Han Solo. You know, if a girl was Leia or something. I would do that. But for some reason, I just have this thing where I'm like, no, it's too pure. See, I couldn't do the Star Wars thing. Like, it's too much of my childhood. Yeah, I get that. Like, it reminds me of, like, watching it with my dad and my mom and, like, shit's like... Well, don't think about that when you're having sex. I couldn't do that. I'd be like, family memories. Yeah, that's kind of the opposite of what you want to do. Yeah. But there was, you know, there's something about Star Wars... So, like, to bring it into, like, bedroom would just be... But there's something about Star Wars. There's more Star Wars that has sexy in it than Indy does. Don't you agree? I don't know. Harrison Ford and pretty much anything. I meant from a guy's standpoint. Oh, I guess, yeah. Okay, yeah. Zero Indy to girls. But in Indiana Jones, he's got all the females. Like, he's got, like, you know, he's got... He's got Marion. He's got the chick. He's got Willie and he's got Elsa. Yeah, you know, the chick and the chick. Okay, Elsa. Elsa. Elsa is hot. Elsa is. I remember the one that was, like, working for the Nazis. And I was like, what is her name? Elsa the Austrian is effing hot. Elsa Schneider. So, I mean, there are females there. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? It's the filter that I'm looking at. Unless you go really weird and you're like, you be short round and I'll be Indy. Whoa, that's a whole other ballgame. That's not weird. I mean, I guess Indy went to Asia. Is he saying that's why Indy went to Asia? A lot? How dare you? That's why Stacey goes to Asia a lot. If I could get an Asian, I would. Stacey wants to be Asian. I do. This is my new thing. I want to be an Asian woman. Is your favorite song Turning Japanese by the Vapors? It kind of is right now. Nice. Because I really, literally want to turn out to be Lucy Liu tomorrow. You know what I think happened? I think you already had, like, every other ethnicity covered that you were like... That is true. You know what I really think? You are Asian. It's true. I do. I need to be Asian. That's not fair. You can't be every ethnicity. That's not fair. Why? What are they doing? I can't take it. You're already exotic. Just be happy with it. But I want to be Asian. So, wait. When you want to be Asian, you specifically want to be, like, Chinese, Japanese, Asian. Not, like, Indian-Asian because that's also Asian. I love that you almost said Oriental, like a rug. I want to be Lucy Liu Asian. I was like, Oriental. I totally thought you were going to say Dirty Neon. I was like, don't go there. But everyone before and from still has trouble with Oriental and Asian. That one's about an item and one's about people. Right? I was like, not Oriental. That's not the thing. I feel like... I literally want to be Oriental because I just want to be a vase. I just want to be a piece of China. I want to be Oriental. I want to be a China. I want to be a piece of, like, a plate. Stacy, you're an object. Or a vase. It's like a hang and hung. That one always gets me. Hang and hung? Yeah. For all you psychologists at home, if you want to call in and convince Stacy not to be used as an object, that's you next. She really does want to be like a sci-fi... You want people to go to Comic-Con and dress like you. I do. And line up around the block to see you. Yeah. Who doesn't want that? Everybody wants to, but you want guys to do terrible things thinking of you. We can make it happen. I do. Before they meet you. That's what you want. I do. Guys already do terrible things. Who doesn't want that? Interestingly, I'm pretty sure that entire side of the table would be completely comfortable with that. Yeah. Guys, that would be Frank and Jeff and Stacy, of course. Now, while I don't want the indie to come into the bedroom... Exactly. Exactly. I would love for him to come into the bedroom. I would love when people, after they saw me in the costume, to go home and do terrible things thinking of it. See? Yeah. See? It's a common thing. So you yourself will not do anything as Indiana Jones. I didn't say anything. The right girl... But you're okay with people going home and thinking of you as Indiana Jones. No, the right girl will let you... All bets are off. All bets are off. And I almost... I started to venture into that with the last one. So we'll see. Okay. Here's the question. If you were doing Indiana Jones play, would you have to sing the song? Would you... No. The music would really throw me... Really? No. The music would really ruin it. When you get married, are you going to dress as Indiana Jones? No. But I have all the music cues planned for when I get married, when I went for the ceremony and the reception. That's adorable. Well, Sean's actually a DJ, so he has like playlists for... I pretty much think everything. For everything, yeah. You know... When I get married, it's like I want Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman singing Come What May. Oh, no, no, no. That's awesome. No, no, that's great. I thought you were going to say I want you. Not all of my cues. When you said Ewan McGregor, you're like, when I get married, I want you. Not all of my cues are Indiana Jones. There's a lot of them. But I would like... I would like the girl when she walks down the aisle... To come down the aisle to Queen's Flash Gordon version of Here Comes the Bride. That's cool. I would also like after we get married and I now introduce Mr. and Mrs. Shawna Owens, I would actually like the Han and Leia theme rather than the Indian Marion theme. Okay, so I have a question about your wedding. Are you going to have... It's never going to happen. Mom, do not hold out for this. Are you... It's... No, it's not going to happen. My parents are like, at this point, like, I will be happy to be alive if you get engaged. Will you invite Indy's son? Because he seems to like Indy as much as you do. Indy's son? Yeah. I believe he's played by Sheila Booth. I watch the movies back to back to back to back to back to back. See, he loves the movies. He watches them back to back to back to back. His name is not Shia. If I've worked with him... I will pronounce Shia LaBeouf's name as it should be pronounced. By the way, I like him. I have no... He is not... He is not... That's not the problem. Oh, I'm not talking about Shia. I'm talking about Indy's son. I don't know what we're talking about. I have no idea. He's talking about the character... I don't even understand. What was his name in the movie? Mutt. Mutt. Mutt. Oh, so you do know him. He's not talking about the actor. He's talking about the character Mutt coming to Indy's wedding. Will you invite him to your wedding? This is a weird question. Would you dress up like Mutt for sex play? No. I will never... Because that's not sacred. By the way, this has nothing to do with Shia. It's nothing. He's not the problem. I would never dress up as Mutt. Ever, ever. Is it that whole movie is the problem? No, I would never dress up as anything... I would never have anything in my home related to that movie. You know, I had no problem with the whole opening sequence with the refrigerator. I had no problem. The refrigerator? I thought you were going to say... You had no problem with a guy getting in a refrigerator to survive a nuclear war. Because the warehouse, yes. But the refrigerator is where you stop watching. Where I had the problem was the swinging of the vines. The monkeys. That was... Well... That's racist. You know what I had the problem with? It was just... That was fucking aliens. That was my... Sorry. If you haven't seen the movie, fuck you all. It was fucking aliens. But you know what, though? The moment I was in the theater... They were actually interpreting. May 22nd. Let's get it out of the way. May 22nd, 2008. I can't. Was the worst night of my life. And I was sitting in the theater, full costume. But all my friends... My girlfriend was Elsa Snyder from Last Crusade. All my friends were characters. I had Sala. I had Short Rout. I had everybody. And we're sitting there and my friend is like, I kept looking at him going like, It's Indy. They're gonna pull it out. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. They're gonna fix it. And then as soon as the monkey scene happened, he said, I sunk in my seat. I pulled my hat over my eyes and I just sat there with my arms crossed. Like, it's over. The dream is over. I think we all have a movie that just can't be touched. And Indiana Jones is definitely yours. But could there be a remake? I feel like we all have a movie that had been ruined. Like, Indiana Jones. But is there a movie that you could remake? Is there a way that they could remake it or redeem themselves with a sequel? In your eyes. I actually do think that, as disappointed as I was, I'm riding the fence about a fifth. And now, I thought with the Disney acquisition, I actually thought it was gonna be pushed through more. But they're saying no. They're saying, like, we're concentrating on Star Wars. It's gonna be a while to wait. They can't wait much longer. You know what I mean? Like, he's still great. And I was fine with his age, and this movie had nothing to do with it. But I actually am riding the fence. Like, half of me is like, leave it alone. And then half of me is like, redeem yourself. And if they do go ahead with a fifth, I totally think they could. Because the filmmakers have now, after their contract for promoting four was over, as soon as that contract ran out, it was about a year and a half, two years afterwards, all of them just sort of admitted we were really, really disappointed in it. So do you think that if there was a fifth, they would be played by Harrison Ford? Oh, I know it would. You don't think they would just take Shia? They would not. I really thought they would just take Shia and make him the new... They won't. Like, at the end of the last one, when he picked up the hat... That was the joke on the audience. There were rumors about that, and they said, absolutely no way. It's not like James Bond. Indiana Jones will only be played by Harrison Ford. Don't bring Indiana Jones into this. I mean, don't bring James Bond into this. Indiana Jones has not only been played by Harrison Ford. Sean Patrick Flannery. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's different. That's true. That's different. That's different. That's not adult. No one else has played adult Indy. Yeah. Except, well, okay, Sean Patrick Flannery, I'm sure he turned 18 in the Young Indy Chronicles, but yes. But that's not... That's still a teenager, technically. It's not the same. And I mean, if you really want to make that argument, you can say... Four actors have played... You can say River Phoenix, who's also Indiana Jones. River Phoenix and then the kid, which we like to forget about in Young Indy. But there are four actors that have played Indy. Does anybody even remember his name? You know what? I don't. That's how much I want to forget about it. For shame. I know. For shame. But that was on purpose. That's not like a... I didn't lock that in my head. The other guy besides Sean Patrick Flannery and River Phoenix, that other dude. The little boy. The little boy. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he's done anything since, man. Sean Patrick Flannery is enough. I'm looking him up. I was just thinking about that. I was like, I don't think that kid's done anything ever again. But you know, like after the first season, they started cutting them, the episodes. Cory Carrier. They started cutting his episodes down and then they actually only did the Sean Patrick Flannery stories because nobody wanted to see Indy sitting on the sidelines watching adults in the action. They wanted to see Indy in the action. You can Netflix. Did you violently throw something just now? I just put my hand down. She's throwing a tantrum. She's throwing a tantrum. She just pounded on the table. It was like, God damn it. She got pounded on the table. Can you stop pounding on the table, please? Oh my God. It is pounding on us. Instead, pound a Furby. It's not that kind of show, Fats. So does Disney's involvement make you feel more comfortable about this? Are you serious? Well, I'll tell you what. I think like a lot of people, it's not necessarily Disney's involvement, but Lucas's willingness to have new filmmakers take over and other people involved. I'm excited for the first time in a long time, genuinely, about Star Wars, about the future of Star Wars. Thank you. It's like I hear everybody bitching. I'm so happy. No, no, no. Disney's going to screw it up. It's like, what did Disney screw up? As a matter of fact, it is the perfect thing. What did Disney screw up? It screwed up so bad that everybody has this hatred for that. Disney is the perfect fit for a studio for Star Wars. Look at Marvel. I mean. Right. Right. Right. The Avengers. Right. But most filmmakers and most people in Hollywood are. I think even the Neutron, like a lot of people bitched out the Neutron. I thought the Neutron was pretty good. I liked the Neutron. Yeah, people were very vicious about the Neutron. People were expecting this complex storyline and it was just simple. I think it was the storyline. I mean, I got what I wanted visually, but it was the storyline. If you look at it like this, the original Tron was. It's not complicated. A flop at the box office. Right. The Neutron made over $200 million. Right. Somebody loved it. I miss Tron at Disneyland. Well, I. Yeah, except that I. The only reason I can't agree with the numbers thing is that Crystal Skull made a shit load of money. But it was also good. But their own filmmakers. But their own filmmakers didn't like it. Because it had Shia LaBeouf. But like the stars and the filmmakers didn't like it except for Lucas. Shia LaBeouf, if you're out there, we would love to have you on the show. Every time you say it, like Shia, I have a physical reaction to you pronouncing his name like that. I will have a physical reaction to it. It's Shia. Are you saying Shia? I like him as an actor. I gotta tell you, I like him as an actor. I like him as an actor. Are you saying you are racist against Shia Muslims, Rachel? No, I'm not racist against Shia Muslims, but his fucking name is Shia. He says Shia. You tell him. You tell him. I'm gonna actually call you Rochelle from now on. I'm gonna stop saying. To actually answer your question, I was excited about it because I'm like, you know what? I think they're gonna push. They got all the intellectual properties from Lucasfilm. They're gonna push Indy 5. And look, Spielberg said he made Last Crusade to make up for Temple of Doom, which is my third favorite movie in the history of motion pictures. I love Temple of Doom. He made Last Crusade to make up for that. What would he have? I mean, he would have to do something amazing to make up for that. I mean, he would have to do for Crystal Skull. It's true. But I want him to try. I kind of want him to try. A little bit of me wants him to try. But now I'm kind of disappointed because Disney's saying, no, no, we're putting that on the back burner. We're concentrating on Star Wars. What about, would you consider an Indiana Jones animated series? Oh, as a matter of fact, there is the guy who did the concept art. He's a very famous cartoon artist. I can't remember his name at the moment, but all of his like spec drawings for an animated series have popped up online. And now people are like craving this thing. It actually looks amazing. I am all. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. All for an animated series. I think it'd be amazing. I think that would be the best way to continue Indy actually. Yeah. It's very Disney-esque already before Disney was even involved in anything. It's totally drawn like Disney. I like, I likey. Yeah. Look it up, everybody. And they actually Google it now. Google it. Google it now. Why did Army of Darkness pop up when I Googled it? That is pretty cool. Can they do a mashup? Oh my God. I love this. I know. Like I want that to happen so bad. But because of the success of a lot of the Star Wars animated shows, whether they be CG or drawn, I think this could happen. I really do. You know, I'm totally looking at the artwork and everything. I'm just totally. Yeah. All for this. Yeah. How would you describe that? What you're looking at? How would you describe the animation? It's like, it's like, it's almost like Clone Wars, Samurai, What's-His-Face. Well, it's not CGI. That's, I mean, that's for sure. No. Meets like old, you know, it's like Dragon Slayer. That's exactly what I was about to say. It's drawn like Disney's Dragon Slayer. The video game. Woo-hoo. I totally, I totally know what you're talking about. I do too, right? Stacey tuned you out for about like a minute and a half. She was looking at Sean Harrison. She's been, she's been looking at you. She's been licking her iPad. Are you saying I made a nerdy reference that awkward kids did not get? Awkward conversations? Sorry, awkward kids is a comedy truth. I got two awkward truths, by the way. I got two awkward groups. Did you just make a plug on our show? I did not plug. You totally plugged. You just made a plug on our show. You just made a plug. You're welcome, ladies. Drink, drink, drink. We're the air. He said our name. He said our radio name. They're all really funny, very hot ladies, so you're welcome. Well, maybe they need to come on the show then. And then come on the show. Okay. Awkward kids, if you're listening to awkward conversations, call in next week and give Stacey advice on her love life. Please don't. There you go. Don't plug your links. Ooh. That sounded dirty. You can plug my links anytime. No, we should just have them on the show. Email us. We'll put you on the show. I'll plug your links. Ooh. I'm just talking about Stacey. Hey, what are you doing there? I'm joking. And Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones. Oh, boy. That happens. So, yeah. I was licking my iPad. Topics. Wait, when did we, did we, are we getting to the trip? Yes. We are, okay. We are going to. Should we play a clip? No, no, no. I wasn't trying to take over the show because I'm so excited about Indiana Jones. Listen, he's taking over the show. I'm sorry. It is Dr. Jones. We'll just call it the Sean Owen show for now. God. Drinking. Drinking wine. Drinking. Just sit there and look pretty. So, we had an amazing adventure. You're welcome. Discovery Science Center where they're having an Indiana Jones exhibit. And of course, we took our Dr. Jones specialist because he was going to light up like a little boy. Did we say who won the giveaway last week? Yes, we did. Okay, Sarah. Oh, okay, right. You can call me Dr. Jones, but on this coast, I'm Jonesy and on the east coast, I'm Pennsylvania Owens. Okay. Sorry. Diva said he's Pennsylvania Owens. No, no, no. Since sixth grade, I've been Pennsylvania Owens. But on this coast, it's sort of developed. I work on sets and stuff. I'm now Jonesy. So, we have Jonesy or Pennsylvania Owens. You call me, listen. Anybody who calls me Dr. Jones, I get a little tweak and I'm like, oh. How many girlfriends have used the line, I'm Jonesing for some Jonesy? Not many, but no one. Surprisingly. Oh, we didn't make that name. Nathan, you're the first one. He's so turned on. Sean, Sean, stop touching yourself. for some Jonesy. We didn't make that happen. That only happened in the past couple of years, actually, the Jonesy thing on this coast. Okay, okay. All right. He's not making it a thing. You didn't invite me to the Discovery Science Center. We didn't know you then? We didn't know you then. I was invited. We can retroactively invite you. Was Jeff invited? Was Jeff invited? Let's all go. No, I was not. Let's all go back there. What, jerks? Weren't you? Guys, you're all jerks. He wasn't invited. Awkward field trip. Hey, Nathan. Sarah, your bestest friend in the whole wide world, won two tickets to it. She'll probably take it. Thank you. It's true. Yeah. She'll take it. And he's speechless. Indiology. Can you just play it before we say something else? Right. Yeah. All right. So the first clip we have is a little explanation on what's at the exhibit and other things heretofore also as well. I'll bet it's Indiana Jones stuff. You speak real nice. The Adventure of Archaeology exhibit is on its world tour. It premiered last year in Montreal, Canada. It then went to Valencia, Spain. And it's making its U.S. debut here at the Discovery Science Center in Santa Ana. It's roughly about 7,000 square feet inside. And then if you add on the hands-on kid adventure zone out here, it's about 9,000 square feet. Features props, models, costumes, all original from Lucasfilm Archives from all four films. And then on top of that, there's real actual artifacts that are thousands of years old. And they're on loan from the University of Pennsylvania's Museum of Art. That's amazing. So it's kind of a cool fact. You'll see some, like, inside, you'll see, like, the world's oldest map ever. You'll see original photographs that were taken by an actual archaeologist, Hiram Bingham. The original photos that he took when he discovered Machu Picchu. And the original National Geographic that it actually ran in. Sean is sitting here correcting this, There's really only four places in the world that you can see these types of artifacts. One of them is the Museum of History in Britain. One of them is in Iraq. One of them is at UPenn Museum. And the other one is here in Santa Ana. Where the hell goes to Iraq? Pretty cool stuff. The whole exhibit itself is sponsored nationally by National Geographic Society. But, and so, so Lucasfilm and a company in Canada called X3 Productions, they're the ones who kind of got together to work on this exhibit because there hadn't really been, up until this point, there was no Indiana Jones exhibition ever featuring any of the props in the museum. So, they worked together, they got National Geographic on board, and then what you'll see inside is the result. So, it's pretty cool, pretty cool stuff. What was going on with you two? If you can get the video feed, it totally ruins all the information you just got. You guys are so silly. Listen, you guys were, your minds were being blown by information. And other things were being blown as well before, also, apropos. Why do you keep saying that? I feel like you just try for big words. You don't even understand what you're saying. Anti-disestablishmentarianism. Whatever. Spell that. Because of anti-disestablishmentarianism, I was blown apropos. And thereafter. Yes, it was a good exhibit. Oh, boy. It was a great exhibit. I actually really liked Discovery Science Center because they had the Star Wars exhibit and now they're having Indiana Jones. So, I was there for the Star Wars exhibit. I was there for the Star Wars exhibit. I was there for the Star Wars exhibit. That was so cool. It was epic. It was epic. They told us something else they were going to have. They're going to have the Da Vinci. I didn't know anybody. Aren't you doing a giveaway or something? We did. We did. We did a contest. And Sarah won because she loves to hear her name screamed on air. Sarah Miranda. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. I got to tell you to be in the room with the actual Ark of the Covenant prop was like, how'd that feel? I was a kid in a candy store. I was so... That was really smiling. And that treasure hunt, I never thought I would get so wrapped up in a kid's treasure hunt. A kid's game. But I was like, I've got to get this clue. It's really, really nice blend of, I don't know. Yeah. I won't say any more about the exhibit. Are we, do we have other clips? We do have more clips. We can talk about it. Because I don't want to say what I already said in the clips. Well, if you want, you can hear what you already said in the clips. God. I am really, I am really, I'm really gorgosing this episode, aren't I? You are sassy today, Frank. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. We actually like it. I like it when men take control. Take control. I am so sorry. It's just the subject matter. I tried to lay back in the last episode I was in, but this is Indiana Jones. I can't listen. That's okay. Thank you. You should really look at the pictures on our Facebook page. You're the guest, Sean. You're allowed to talk. Yeah. He is like smiling and being all giddy. He's like bending down and looking at the exhibits and making funny faces. He was adorable. We gave him comic books of like, what did we give you? A Tumblr queue? Oh, that was amazing. You guys gave me the full three. His eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. It was so adorable. Guys, they not only took me to this exhibit on a press pass for free, but then they gave me the three issues of Raiders of the Lost Ark, the original comic book series. That's right. In mint, I mean like untouched, never touched. I didn't even want to take them out of the plastic. And we didn't even get to second base. I know. It's pretty awesome. It's because I sleep around Sean's place when I'm there. I go, what did Sean not go into? That was weird that you found the thing that I didn't have though. Were you in my house while I was sleeping? No. But I was there. Well, I was technically at one of your birthday parties when you fell asleep during the party. Oh boy. No, no, no. That was a long time ago. That was last summer. But yeah, it was a mess. I know what you did. You did last summer. That was a mess. I do too. Didn't you put the hat on me while I was like all messed up before I went to sleep? You were just like taking pictures. No, I didn't do that. I put a blanket on you. Oh, thank you. I did not do that. Thank you. She was nice. I was nice. Yeah. I'm a nice friend. Free handy and then a blanket and it was just that. That's it. That's it. Yeah, that's all I did. That's great. Yeah, it's a little peek. All you need. A little picture. But yes, thank you guys. That was amazing. Trip and the comic books. That was awesome. We're good people. You knew just what to get the man who has everything indie. So it was perfect. It's true. It's true. Are you going to play something else? Really good people. That's what you'd call good. I'm a good person, Nathan. Let me just show you my goodness. I'm a good girl, Nathan. How dare you say otherwise? We have testimony and I'm going to play the clip right now. Here to for. Oh my God. Oh my God. It needs to stop. Does it appertain to what we're discussing? You know what? I like the sound bites better. Yes. Oh, see, she's saying your voice is stupid. I can touch it. No. She's going to be my future husband. Frank, do you do anything? Oh. Sometimes I'm going to play a clip. We are at the Discovery Science Center. Oh my God, it's Stacy. In Santa Ana, California with Sean Owens, our resident indie specialist. Stacy, you're on a podcast. I have a very special exhibit called Indiana Jones. How are you feeling? I'm finally home. That's how I'm feeling. He's home. He looks like a little eight-year-old boy on Christmas right now. I do. And you guys just gave me a really special gift, the original Marvel Raiders of the Lost Ark comic book series, the first three in a row. So I had one, I think I had the middle one and that was it. I didn't like know where the story went or was going because the comic books are slightly different adaptation. And I am like an eight-year-old kid because I'm surrounded by the artifacts of indie and I got my comic books and you guys surprised me and it's not even my birthday. So do you think that this exhibit is giving like, well, I mean, I know you just got in here. Are you very excited about the exhibit? Are you thinking it like represents everything that you would expect from an Indiana Jones exhibit? Yeah. I mean, I literally just walked in here but like I'm already, my eyes just can't stop looking around. I knew there'd be props and I knew they would talk about like the history of archeology. I've seen a couple, heard a couple of the audio clips from the exhibit. But what I find really cool is the original concept art, the actual concept art. They have it. They have it. They have it. They have it. They have here like the original drawings of things and paintings. And I'm pretty psyched about that. And the interactive portion of it is pretty cool too. Clips from the movie. I mean, I know that's exciting for you, especially standing in front of your woman here. I know. Marion Ravenwood herself. Could you speak any louder, Stacey? Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yes! Like actually seeing the, it's funny, like out in the lobby they have an indie costume and I'm like looking at it very detail oriented. Like, oh, okay, well this is not really the one they use in the movie. They kind of put this together. And then there's like certain bits of it where I'm like, oh yeah, that's real. I have that. I have that. But like the other costumes, like Marion and I can see Willie from here. Like that's the real deal. That's the stuff that's like screen used. So I'm pretty psyched about that. Yeah. You are an expert. I guess I was psyched. Yeah, you were psyched. I don't know if you could tell from that clip. I was psyched apparently. It's so badass that you can tell. Really, I thought you were sleeping. That you can tell which props are like real and which aren't. I don't like listening to myself. You don't? No. I said psyched a lot. Do you actually own any? Screen used things? Yes. No, nothing. Really? Nothing. You know, the closest thing I've come to the real deal to the movies besides the things that I buy that are like made by the same companies they use. I got to shake Alfred Molina's hand and tell him that his first film, Raiders of the Lost Ark, is the whole reason I'm here and an actor. And he, like I've actually seen an interview with him since. And like, he is that type of person where like, that makes his day talking about it. He loves it. And the other thing is, the only thing I have is a friend of, when I lived in New York City, a friend of mine was a waitress and Marion Ravenwood herself came in to, Karen Allen came into the restaurant and they drew, it was a place where they had crayons and you could, you were encouraged to just draw. Right, right. And she was just doing this diddle, this draw, this doodle, whatever it is. And diddle doodle. And she did this like, elaborate thing and my friend was like, listen, I know this is a weird request but my friend's the biggest Indiana Jones fan and Marion is his favorite indie girl and could you sign this? And so she signed it and framed it and I have it. Oh, nice. That's sweet. Have you ever heard about friends giving other friends autographs where they almost, you know, got in trouble for? Oh, Nathan almost got in trouble for me because a famous Mad Men girl was in there and I couldn't talk to her. I freaked out. Mad Men and Firefly. We're not gonna say who. One of my best friends just shot an episode of Mad Men. And apparently everyone was there. Well, she was at the Magic Castle and I couldn't even like, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk to her. Like, I don't get starstruck, really. I really don't. I get starstruck by the weirdest people and she was there and I couldn't talk to her. Teen witch. And Nathan, don't air my shit. Also, grease too. But she was there and I couldn't even breathe and Nathan was nice enough to go get an autograph. Nice. To the detriment of his membership. Almost. Almost. Yeah, because it's like a big no-no. Oh, no. Because, you know, there's like, there's celebrities there every night. Last night we saw Jason Ritter. Did they forgive you? Oh, cool. He's super cute in person. They've forgiven me now. It's good. Jason Ritter? Is he short? Jason Ritter, yeah, but who cares? He's like, he's like, I was, I was a, like, I wore heels last night so I might have been really... Amazonian? Yeah. But, uh, who cares? I can't, I can't, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not heightist. He really is. He's very handsome. Help me out. John Ritter's son. Oh, yeah, yeah, I like him. I like him. John Ritter is Tex Ritter's son. There you go. And Velma Ritter, but hey, whatever, now we're going to a spiral. And Tex Ritter is like some guy from Tennessee's son. Hey, y'all, let's do awkward conversation questions. Oh, Ted. Do I get to ask a question? You do, you do. Oh, my gosh. You guys get to pick one for the month. We'll go first since you didn't pick one yet. Okay. Bitches. Whores. No one told me. Gangs, I know I didn't. It's cool. I'm good. Communication. Nice. Oh, no, no, I'll email you right now. Okay. So, I'll go first. I'll go first. If you had to have sex with any cartoon character, who would it be? Any cartoon character? Mm-hmm. Oh, man. Oh, jeez. Not video games. No, no, no, no. Cartoon character. Not video games. Cartoon character. So, it's the same question for the month? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, it is. It's the same question. I'm almost afraid to like, like, I don't know. Let's see. Just air your shit. It's okay. Oh, oh, I know. Francine from Family Guy. Really? Really? Francine. Yeah. She's got the cans. She's beautiful. She's, I'm not even a boob guy and I love her. From American Dad and Family Guy, that Francine? Yeah, love Francine. I love her. Everybody talks the whole time about how hot she is. And she is. The artwork is out there. You could have said, Marion. Ah. No, cartoon character there. Yeah. Don't you mean just cartoon character? Yeah. Yeah. But the artwork is there, so. But it's not just the cartoon character. It could, I mean, he could have found a loophole, but he didn't. He did it. There was a different hole. Yeah. Hey, you're here and you haven't talked. Do you want to answer, you want to answer our questions? If you had to have sex with a cartoon character, who would it be? I didn't give him a choice. He's like backing away from the mic. Okay. We'll come back to you. We'll come back to you. Or Eon Flux too. That's my second. Oh yeah, that's a good one. Oh yeah, that's a good one. Frank, ask your question. Are you more of a orgy person or a gang bang person? What, does this have to do with Indiana Jones? Nothing. That's what I wanted to tell you. Nothing. These are just awkward questions. These are awkward questions. What? Okay, what? All of the indie girls are involved. All right, what is the question again? Are you an orgy person or are you a gang bang person? Which one? An orgy or a gang bang? Yeah. Oh. Well, I am neither, but if I have to pick, I'm going orgy because at least you have someone on one time. I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, It's a good answer. It's a good answer. I'm neither though. Just in case my family's listening. Rachel. Okay. Would you rather, okay, from now until the day you die. I'm so nervous now. But suddenly the wine has like gone away. The wine effect. And I'm like, back to sober. You have to live your life either as exposed skin, like nothing, like just muscles, skin, tendons, or festering pustules. So gross. I hate your questions. I really do. Yeah. I don't even know if I give you the answer, like what this shows you about me. Would you rather just be like a sack of meat or like just have pustules covering your entire body? Oh, entire body? Your entire body is just covered head to toe in like. Oh, no. All right. Well, that's different. Just. Just the musculature, man. I'd rather just be the musculature man. Okay. That's a good answer. I feel like there was no response to that. We were just all like, okay, yeah. I know, like it's all gross. What does that reveal about me? All gross. It's gross. How many do we take? Three. We're passing around the marry, fuck, kill thing. I got. Do I get to ask a question? Yeah, if you have one. Do you have one? Okay, I came up with one. Okay. Based on sort of Rachel's. Okay. Okay. All right. If you were to live the rest of your life as a nudist or wearing a burka, which would you prefer? Nudist. Me? Yeah. Well, first you and then we'll go to the people who haven't answered my question. Nudist or burka? Mm-hmm. Oh. For the rest of your life? If it's covering the face too, it's covering everything. Full on burka, yeah. So then, yeah. I love, I'm actually a dude, a straight dude that likes fashion and loves clothes, but I'm going to go with, if it's covering up everything. Like, how can you really connect with other people? So I'm going nudist. That's a connection that you can't forget. Yeah, right. He can be like that guy in Wanderlust. He can make a raw line. I have been to a clothing optional resort and I totally do not mind going nude. Yeah, nudist. What about you? Probably nudist. Nudist. I don't want to be covered up in a burka. Yeah. Jeff, do you have a question? Is that amazing that we would run into a person who's like, I'm going to go nude. That's amazing that we would rather go naked than to dress like so many of the, like a lot of people in the world. Ryan says you need to be naked as well. By the way, Sean, you know- Ryan is naked right now, by the way. I have bad news. You have a terminal illness that can only be cured if you are nude 24 seven. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, I have that now? Yeah, you do. Oh, okay. So I won't get a second opinion or anything. I'm just going to strip right now. Yeah. Okay. Let's do this. Awesome. And suddenly the- Oh, Ryan's on. Camera has shut off. And this becomes a completely different- Why is Ryan adjusting the camera? I don't understand. Ryan, Ryan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also get the iPad. Yeah, perfect. Awesome. Jeff, do you have a question or do we put you on the spot? You don't have to if you don't want to. Yeah, let's go for one. I don't know. Five years from now. Oh God. If you can go forward five years from now, where do you see yourself? I see myself, quite honestly, I see myself as a person who is not a person. I see myself as a person who is not a person. I see myself as a person who is not a person. I see myself as a person who is not a person. I mean, you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. I mean you are the person you are. married, probably. Sure. I don't know. See, mom? He's going to get married. I don't know how many years I'm going to need. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know what's going to happen first. Like, meet someone who loves you for who you are and then make it, or make it, sow your wild oats, and then... I mean, Anastasia knows. I've been sowing my wild oats for decades now. So I think it's time. You know, it'll be time probably to settle down. Not in a bad... I don't mean settle down. I don't like that term. But married, well-respected actor in awesome movies, independence to A-listers, and I'll still be coming here because I will never change the person that I am. I will be... I want to be your A-lister. I want to be your A-lister. And we'll all be A-listers in five years. Well, not Frank. I feel like you're waiting... I'm just kidding. I feel like you're waiting for your celebrity marriage. He's going to be an A-plus. You're like, I'm not sure whether I should get married before or after I'm a celebrity. So I want to get married so that I can have a one-month marriage. No, it was a romantic answer. It meant... It was caring more about the love than the... I'm a bitter, bitter person. No, that's not at all what I meant. You're such a bitch. I don't care if I'm married to anyone that's in the same business as me. I've dated mostly people that are not because, you know, it's just easier. Yeah. I mean, I see myself as an A-lister in five years with my first husband and only husband. I feel like it would be funny if you were like, I see myself as a C-lister. I want to be in reality TV that nobody watches. Frank's going to release his sex tape. She's no longer a C-lister though. Yeah, I know. She's nowhere near it. Frank's no longer a D-lister. D-listers are... By the way, reality people are D-listers. Okay, so... Yeah. Like nobody here is like, I want to be in a reality show that nobody watches. No. No, because everyone here could have already. You know what I mean? Like you can just do that. If you have no... If I wanted to be famous for being famous... If you have mental problems and you have no shame, you can just be on TV. That's true. I was in the opposite of Biggest Loser. I was... Biggest and Biggest Fatty. Oh. No sympathy for you. Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Let's play Merry Fuck Kill, y'all. There should be some indie music for this. Let's... Let's have... Stacey, we haven't sung Afternoon Delight. Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon Delight. All right, let's play. Afternoon Delight. Oh, okay. Merry Fuck Kill, man. Merry Fuck Kill. Merry Fuck Kill. Merry Fuck Kill. Ladies go first. So, Frank, go ahead. Yay. I got George Mac McHale. Major... Yeah. Wow. We're a high-tech studio. Yeah, we are. That was literally me putting my phone, my ringtone up. Up to the microphone. No, it was way more high-tech than that. It worked. It was fine. It was okay. Like super high-tech. Like super ultra apropos. So, finish what you were saying. All right, who do you have? I got... I got Short Round, Major Gobbler. Shut up. Shut up. It's Gobbler, by the way. Gobbler. Oh, sorry. Oh, no. He's fucking Short Round. And George McHale. So... Joe McHale? Oh, please. I mean, Mac from The Best One, Indiana Jones 4. I'm going to punch you in the throat. That's sexy. With Shia LaBeouf. Joe, please, Joe. I won't have any sort of... Wait. Just spit it out. Just spit it out. I'm going to fuck the shit out of... He doesn't spit out anything. Gobbler? Gobbler? Yeah, Gobbler. I'm Gobbler. I want plenty of protection. Why not? Why not, Major Gobbler? He's hot. I'll marry Mac, because, I mean, whatever. Really? He's going to gamble all your money away? He's going to cheat on you? Yeah, why not? You are not going to take advantage of Short Round? It's either that or Short Round, okay? You were telling us yesterday how young you like them. Yeah. You're going to kill Short Round. Yeah. He's the only good guy in that. Yeah. You're going to kill him. Yeah, why not? That's messed. What's he going to do? Sleep with him? Ew. Marry him. He doesn't have to sleep with him. That's even eeler. Melissa killed Thor last week, okay? Thor! Wait, you know what? I'm going to go back, because I've... No, you can't go back. Jeff, your turn. That's equally fine. I will kill Short Round. Fucking Short Round. That is cold-hearted. God, I can't remember how to pronounce his last name. Sean, can I... Oh, Tote. Tote. Major Arnold Ernst Tote. Yeah, he's dead. Tote. Tote. One of the most evil people alive. He's dead. Satipo, I would... He's like the Peter Lorre of the modern era. Fuck Satipo. Yes. Satipo. And I would marry, believe it or not, Dr. Elsa Snyder. Oh, shit, yes, I would. I would do anything to that girl. Jesus. Rachel, who do you have? I'm sorry. I was looking at... I chose... Who your characters are? Dr. Rene Emile Belloc. Dead. Sorry. Oh, Belloc. F him. Marion Ravenwood. French guys, though. French guys, no. But he's horrible and awful. Yeah, but he's a French guy. I'm just telling you to say this. He's a greedy motherfucker, and I want him dead. Okay. And the French don't wear deodorants. Very angry. Marion Ravenwood and Jock Lindsay. This is a tricky one. It's a tricky one. One guy's got a... One guy's got a... One guy's got a... One guy's got a... One guy's got a... One guy's got a... One guy's got a... One guy's got a... One guy's got a... I know. One guy is a pilot, but the other is Marion Ravenwood. And she can drink anyone under the table. So this is tricky. That is true. Do I want to marry, or do I want to sleep? Yeah, but it's not hard to drink Rachel under a table. She doesn't drink. I don't drink. It's not hard. Can I just say Marion Ravenwood? And even when I did drink, it wasn't hard. My inspiration in life. Just because that drinking under the table. Okay. You can say that, and I admire you that much more. Just because she's one ballsy chick, and I know she'd have my back. No matter what, I'm going to marry Marion. Yes. And I'm going to sleep with Jock. It's not sleep. You're not sleeping. You're fucking him. I'm fucking him. Okay. I'm sorry. Shut up. Marion. Okay. Indiana Jones. I mean Dr. Jones. I mean Jonesy. I mean Pennsylvania Owens. John. Thanks for clarifying who she was calling on. Okay. I have Oberst Herman Dietrich. He is the... He's the... He's the head of Nazi and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Mutt Williams and Colonel Dr. Arana Spalco. You got some good ones there. I got two effing... Why are you turning purple? Hang on. I should find out. Are you all right? Jeff is actually purple. Are you? He's laughing so hard. He's turning purple. Holy shit. He's got a serious case of the giggles. I'm sorry. I just saw something George Takei just posted on Facebook. Oh, okay. Continue. Okay. Okay. Mutt Williams and Colonel Dr. Arana Spalco. How did I get two crystal skull people? Well, obviously... I was hoping that would happen. I'm going to kill Mutt Williams. No. Okay. And I have nothing against Shia or Shia. I am going to kill Mutt. I'm going to... This is so weird. I'm going to fuck Dietrich. That's weird. I'm Nazi. Fuck that Nazi. But I'm definitely going to... If you're still listening... If you're still listening... I'm definitely going to marry Colonel Spalco because she's effing hot. Even though she's in a terrible movie, she is still effing hot. She's hot. Okay. Let's go, Nathan. I got Baranka, which I think I pronounced in there, right? I thought you were going to say Barack Obama. Yeah. I have Salah Mohamed Fasel El-Kahir. That is Salah's full name. Nice job, guys. And Wilhelmina Willie Scott. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Those are some toughies, too. Those are Spielberg. I know who you're marrying. So here's what's going on. We're doing... We're killing Baranka because he tried to kill Lindy. Yep. And then we are... I am... Royal we. I am fucking Willie Scott. What? And I am marrying... Wait, wait. I have a reason. And I'm marrying Salah because he's such a cool family man. I mean, he has the cool digs, you know? It's true. It's true. But if you marry her, you inferring you get to fuck them over and over, right? No. I don't even have to sleep with them. That's how I took it. I mean, it could be a marriage that you don't... We don't have a sexless marriage. We don't specify, but I assume you're marrying them. You're sleeping with them. I got Kazem. I just want to be taken care of. Kazem? Yeah. Kazem. I got Indiana Jones. Kazem. Kazem? Yeah. I got Indiana Jones. Oh, Jesus. And I got snakes. So I am... I know what you're doing with snakes. I'm killing Kazem. Why did it have to be snakes? Kazem? Yeah, Kazem. I'm going to have sex with the snakes. And I'm marrying Indiana. Indiana Jones, y'all. Don't kill Thor. Don't kill Thor. Oh, well, that's our show. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, before... Can we give a shout out to Allie Galarza, who's listening right now and telling me that she's dying of laughter? Hey, Allie. Also, also, also, also, before we go, we're changing things up. We're going to do our movie club strictly online now, guys. And I think the movie we chose was Dark Crystal. So go on our YouTube channel. We'll post some stuff online. We'll post some stuff online. We'll post some stuff online. YouTube channel about it and all that stuff like that. Also, shout out to our sponsors. Rabble Rouser Industries. Where you can play out all your nerd fantasies. I mean, or buy t-shirts, whatever you do. I'm learning one now. Also, Discovery Science Center. Check out the Indiana Jones exhibit. It's awesome. It is awesome. And tune in next week when we'll have the Love Bite girls on. What? It's going to get freaky up in here, y'all. And thanks for listening. And have an awkward weekend. Like us on Facebook and all our social network whoring. So like us on all those things. Keep on watching, indie fans. Sorry we're late today. Exactly. Sorry we were late today. Yeah, sorry. It's all my fault. No, we love you. Yes, it's all your fault. Bye-bye. Afternoon delight. .