Valentine's Day rant, online dating tips, and S&M story

hello this is kate rider and you are listening to the sweet release here at skid row studios i hope you guys are doing wonderful also you know what if you haven't already go to itunes and subscribe to my show so if you miss it on sundays live you can see it any other time that you'd like um so i hope you guys had a really good weekend i i did it was valentine's day which i absolutely hate um i personally think the whole principle of valentine's day just sucks it's you know it's a day that makes single people feel like they shouldn't be single and it makes all the you know attached women feel like complete bitches because they need to go to these swanky restaurants and get taken out and you know you have your men buy you these expensive dinners and it's like you get a minuscule piece of lobster and then it's got all these oversized decorations on it and you know an hour later you're hungry it's like what is what is the point of that why why is there one day one day that you need to show how much you love someone by spending money on them if i'm with someone and i love that person they're gonna fucking know it every single day i just i really just don't like it and um you know another thing is about valentine's day is it really forces people especially men it forces them to be under a lot of pressure and you know they have to do everything they can to satisfy their woman because their woman wants to use that as a way to you know talk about all her other talk about it with all her other friends so you know she goes out to dinner and then she you know she talks to her friends about it and everyone's kind of like a contest like oh who got to go to the best restaurant in la or you know who got the most expensive dinner or who got the prettiest piece of jewelry you know it's just it's really silly if you love someone you're not gonna be able to do that you're gonna be able to show it to them every day you don't need to you don't need one day for it um personally i'd rather just go to in and out and have a giant burger that really works for me um on valentine's day i i like to uh practice self-love and by self-love i mean masturbate um i think it's probably the best way to spend valentine's day nothing says i love you like a fucking wet orgasm and you know it's it's true you orgasm and if you don't know this already when you have an orgasm it releases a lot of stress and it's pretty much a um a natural painkiller and it makes your moods a lot better boost your mood so so really you know instead of being sad and down and stuffing your face with ben and jerry's get in your bed stick a dildo on your vagina and just take it in really embrace being single embrace that you know this day of love everyone's loving each other just love yourself for a change you know um honestly i i don't know if you guys know but i just read a book called the love of love and i think it's about it um the you know the actual history behind valentine's day it's really disgusting um from february 13th through the 15th the romans actually celebrated a feast of lupercalia i believe is how you say it and the men would sacrifice these um goats and dogs and they would take their pieces of their flesh and the bones or the carcass um and they would use them to whip women and so these women would stand around in line naked and they would you know wait for a while and they would just like throw their bodies and it was it was for them to feel like it would make them fertile which i think is absolutely insane um so it's this huge thing like like what the that's that's what you're celebrating that's why you're taking your your wife out or your girlfriend out you know it makes absolutely no sense um so besides valentine's day um being really shitty and me hating it so much uh we are going to talk about quite a few other things today we're going to talk about online encounters uh i have a personal story that i think is going to keep and i also want to talk about getting turned on by massages like i got a massage this morning and oh my god i got so turned on it's ridiculous i don't know if i'm just a pervert or if this is something that happens all the time i would love to hear your thoughts on it if you want to call um so we're going to take a break and then when we get back we are going to kind of just jump into it so you're listening to the sweet release this is kate rider here at skid row studios and we'll see you in a few minutes so so so so We need to love you, love you, love you, love you We need to love for the rain, for the sun, for the sun We want peace, but love is short, it is always right We need to take the point and fight, we want freedom We need to return the war, to the point we've been We need to take the pain, but the death, the pain We need to love for the rain, for the sun, for the rain Where they knew, they knew, they knew, they knew Where they knew, they knew, they knew, they knew Where they knew, they knew, they knew, they knew Where they knew, they knew, they knew, they knew Where they knew, they knew, they knew, they knew Where they knew, they knew, they knew, they knew And what is evil's mind? No besides, it's the son who hangs on The flesh is open, open to the besides And so my devil's human head runs Welcome back, this is Kate Ryder and you're listening to Sweet Release here at Skid Row Studios. I just wanted to let everybody know that I am looking for some women to come into the studio. I just set up a new email. You can email me at katesweetrelease at gmail.com or you can just go to the Facebook page of Sweet Release. You can like the page and you can send me a message and send me a message. If you are a kinky girl and you want to have a good time on the show, we're looking for some people to come on here and try out some new toys, have new experiences, and I would love to share that with you. So just let me know. Also, if you're an unsigned band and you'd like your music played in between segments, just let me know. Send me an email as well. That would be really awesome. So we're going to go ahead and talk about some online encounters and online dating and I have Jeremy here who's going to help me out. Hey, what's up? How's it going, Kate? Everything's going good. Yeah? Yes. We're going well. I should say well. I hate the word good. So I've been online dating for a really long time and the reason I want to talk about it is because I think it's a really popular method of dating these days. A lot of people don't have the time to really go out and meet people, meet new people, and it's kind of a way to feel someone out, I feel like, before you actually meet them in person. You can kind of go back and forth and kind of test the waters a little bit, but it's also really difficult. It's really difficult to get someone's attention and I've noticed this more so for men. Some of the messages that I get on these online dating sites are absolutely absurd. A lot of them have no creativity. You know, you get a message from a guy and it's just like, hey, you're sexy, I like your profile. You know, and if you want to get a girl's attention, especially a pretty girl, you're not going to get it that way. Their inbox gets bombarded with so many messages consistently every single day and, you know, when a girl is online dating, there's a lot of walls up and they're not afraid to be harsh. They're not afraid to ignore you. They don't know who you are. They don't give a fuck about you. But if you want to leave an impression, you know, there's certain ways to do it. You can't send them just a message that says, hi, my name is Jeremy, for example. Do you read every message? No, I kind of skim through my inbox a little bit. So what about the guy that's, you know, writing you this heartfelt message about, you know, divulging his soul within this message and you just fucking skip it? Then that's a personal problem. That's the luck of the draw, huh? It is. It really is. There's so many messages. Like, and, you know, the first thing that I look at and I'm going to, I hate to do it, but I'm going to be shallow because I can when it comes to online dating. You look at their picture. If you're not attracted to them or the picture's shitty, they're going to skip right through it. And that's, you know, it's brutal, but it's the truth. Like, and guys do the same thing. If you come across, you know, an unattractive girl, you're going to throw her message away and then that's that. You know, it's part of the game. It's part of online dating. So be really good looking is what you're saying. You don't have to be good looking. You just got to know how to, take a decent picture. Like a lot of men don't know how to take pictures. First of all, don't take selfies. Yeah. Do you take selfies, Jeremy? No, I don't take selfies. That's good. But I've been, I've been schooled on how to take a proper selfie. Yeah, you got it. You have to hold the camera up high. Oh, absolutely. You got to get all the angles. Right. If I had my phone, I'd show you, but you know, you do it like this. So you look a lot thinner and, you know, you see like just the side of your face. You don't see everything or maybe a little bit of cleavage, for example. But I don't feel... I got lots of that. I don't think men should be taking selfies. I think it's very, it's probably one of the least manliest things that you can possibly do. How do you react if you just get a dick shot right away? Has that happened? I don't, not really. I've never gotten that. You're not really allowed to have dick pics on your profile. So I don't know. I have gotten a dick's email to me. I'm on my other job, which is really funny. But you know, you just look at it, you laugh and you throw it away. It's not a big deal. So they're like, hey, I really like what you do. Here's a picture of my dick. Yeah. That's cool. I hope it's not cool at all. Okay. All right. So, you know, that's one of the one things like I wanted to point out. Like don't send these, you know, these ridiculous messages. Like I had one guy say, and I guess he was trying to be funny. And you know what? He was. He was a little funny. But he said, you know, shit, what did he say? Oh, he was like, you know, I tried to get over the fact that you didn't respond to any of my messages. I tried to get over the fact that you didn't respond to any of my messages. But then what am I supposed to do with the tattoo I have of your face on my back? So someone sends this message and you're like, okay, it's kind of funny. Like I laughed a little bit, but then it's a little bit creepy at the same time. Like what? I don't understand what goes through a guy's mind to send a message like that. Why can't you? Did you respond? No, absolutely not. No, no. But, and then I had another guy. He's, you know, he messaged me about three or four times and I never responded. And he says, I'm so sorry. You know, my email probably got lost in the pool. I'm in the pool of jackasses, but I would love to hear from you. And I'm like, no, no, you are one of the jackasses. That's why I didn't respond to you in the first place. This is the same guy with the tattoo joke. Yeah. It's like just the messages that they send. Like the one way to get to me, for example, is go through my profile. If you see something you like, send a message about it. Be like, oh. What's on your profile? What did you put in your profile to catch someone's eye? I, well, one of the things that gets everybody and they always comment on it is me saying that I will make you happy. I make you happy eggs in the morning. And happy eggs is, you know, you go on a date or a couple of dates and you finally sleep with them and the sex is so good that I decide to make you eggs over easy and I make them into like a smiley face, like the two eggs and like I use a banana or something and they're called happy eggs. That's cute. You give me really good sex and you get happy eggs. And that's been one of my biggest responses. Like I get a lot of messages about the happy eggs. A lot of messages about me being a whiskey drinker or that my, I have a bunch of books and everything's in alphabetical order, which I didn't realize that I did. So people are like, why is everything in alphabetical order? Like, are you, are you weird? You know? But I think that that's the best way to go about it is find something that stands out on the profile, something that you can relate to and send a message like, hey, I see that you really love hiking. I would love to hang out with you sometime. Like we should go to this place if you haven't been there before. You know, like put some creativity in it. Show that you really care about actually getting to know this person. Um, so, so I think, um, obviously those are good suggestions, but my personal experience, I did almost the absolute opposite. Were you using an online site or were you, you were using Craigslist? I use Craigslist. I, for some reason for me, Craigslist always yields the best results for me. I think the structure of the online dating, uh, sites like match.com and all that, I don't know what it is. I, I like, I like to, for me, I like to leave a little bit more to the imagination for people. And there's all these things you have to fill out and be very detailed. And for someone that has trouble expressing themselves through words, you know, you, you can fill out this profile and I still don't feel like it gives the, the, the reader, the potential date, uh, a good understanding of who you really are. So I freestyle it on Craigslist. And that's, I get the best results that way. So, so what do you, I've never personally used Craigslist. Um, I've been on the, um, encounters section where people are looking for sex. Yeah. Um, I almost met up with, with two guys actually for a whole DP, uh, fiesta. And I chickened out last minute, but I've never really used it for dating or. For those of you that don't know DP. Oh yeah. Um, double penetration. Yeah. Uh, two guys at the same time. God, it's my biggest fantasy. Okay. So, um, Jeremy, why, why don't you tell me about, you know, you said that you use, uh, Craigslist and you like to be a little bit quiet. You don't like to give everything away up front. What do you use? Like what's your message? Yeah. So I, I came up with this thing and, and there, there is, there is a theory behind it. It's not just, you know, totally random, but I put my phone number on Craigslist and the only thing I say is send me a text message. We'll take it from there. That's it. But aren't you afraid that you're going to get some like really weird, weird people? Oh, I've gotten tons of weird people. Oh, I could never do that. But, but, uh, but I love that. You know, that, that's kind of fun for me. Um, I've gotten a woman who, uh, one of the first responses I got when I started doing this, uh, a woman who found her husband in bed with another man, but then continually tried to tell me that, um, you know, he's not really gay and, you know, he was just experimenting, but you know, she, she comes home and he's banging another dude. You know, that's not, that's not gay at all. That's not gay. Um, I've, I met, uh, um, and, and by the way, I've gotten maybe like 20 responses from this thing the whole time I've been doing it and only met maybe like two or three people. How long did it take when you posted it to start getting responses? Immediately. Really? Within hours. And here's the thing about Craigslist too, as a guy, there's so many guys just trying to get laid on there that you gotta do something a little bit different. You, you read some, some of the, shit that guys put up there, it's all the same shit. So, you know, part of it was, I want to do something that's a little bit non-traditional, you know, oh, I'm this really great guy and just talk about myself. And I want to just, I want to get the people talking to me first and then we'll go from there. And, and, you know, like, um, I met, I met a girl just through text messages and, and the first thing she, she did was send me a video of her, like fucking herself with this huge vibrator. And like, this was what I got first, you know, here's, here's the response. Uh huh. Um, I got an, another, uh, girl who, who, instead of texting me, one of my fears was that they wouldn't text me, they'd call me. Okay. But did you get any calls? Cause it's the same number. I got one call from this girl. Mm-hmm. And she said, all I want you to do is listen to me masturbate. And she didn't want me to talk. She just wanted to know I was on the other end of the line, listening to her masturbate and have an orgasm. And so I did this. She, I, I had no reason to believe she was faking or, or this was a hoax. Mm-hmm. Like she full on masturbated and could tell that she had a, an orgasm at the end. And then she said, thank you and hung up. The next day I texted her thinking, you know, you call a random guy to, to masturbate, you know, maybe we could chat a little bit after that. And, and she wrote me back and said, don't ever contact me again. Oh wow. That was it. So interesting things like that, you know, very, very random, but I keep it vague. Mm-hmm. I try to get the conversation started first. I'm better in conversation than trying to write a profile. Yeah. That's just me, you know, and I know different things work for different people, but that's been my experience. And, you know, very recently I met someone this way that worked out really well. And, you know, things are going great. So there's all kinds of crazy people, all kinds of freaks, but there's also some interesting normal people in there. Yeah. There definitely is. I think I might have to try Craigslist. I've always been too afraid of it to be completely honest. Craigslist definitely has a reputation, you know, the Craigslist killer and all that kind of shit. And I think maybe on the woman's side, I can understand that more so. Yeah. When I think Craigslist, I think like job search, you know, I don't, I don't think let's go find a boyfriend or someone to date or someone to have on the phone while I masturbate. Yeah. So, I mean, I recently just found out that I'm going to be a woman. I mean, I recently just got into Tinder actually. It's an, if you guys don't know, it's a dating app for your iPhone. And what it does is it posts a picture. The thing that sucks though is it takes all your Facebook pictures and uses that. It uploads it instantly and you don't really have a choice. You can take off which pictures you don't want on there. But if you want to upload anything, it has to go through your Facebook first. I can see why they do it maybe for safety purposes so people aren't posting, you know. That's exactly the reason I didn't like it. Yeah. I want to put different things on my Tinder profile than I do on my Facebook. And that's exactly what I had to do. And I ended up uploading a few new pictures to Facebook specifically so that I can use it for Tinder. But you basically go through and you kind of swipe and it's like a game. It gets really addicting actually. And you can either do a nope or a like. And if you do a nope, it just gives you like a big stamp almost and puts nope across their forehead. It's really funny. And then if you like them and they like your picture back, it'll give you the option to message each other. But if you both don't like each other, it won't. So it's very interesting. I personally don't really care for it much. I did it more for research purposes for my job. But, you know, I do have a lot of friends who've met people off of Tinder. I had one guy that just went on a date, actually a good friend of mine, and he said it was awesome. The girl was beautiful. They had a great time. And they were just making out like in this restaurant. He said it was the best thing of his life. So I guess you can meet a lot of cool people. I personally have met a ton of people using OkCupid. But they never really worked out. I made more friends, I think, than boyfriends or, you know, for dating purposes. I made a lot of friends out of it. Do you remember Hot or Not by any chance? No. I remember it, but I've never... That was like a primitive version of Tinder. And there was a website where it was just random pictures of people. And you choose Hot or Not. Yeah. Yeah, I remember hearing about that. That's pretty much what it is. It's kind of shallow. It really is. But you can just sit there for hours just swiping and swiping and swiping. I do it when I'm at work sometimes and I'm bored. I hear that Tinder's the best way to just hook up. Like for whatever reason, it's specifically a hookup kind of dating site. I think so, yeah, just because it's so casual. You know, and really it's based off looks. This whole thing is about looks. It's all about looks. You don't have a profile. You have like a little sentence for a bio. It's just like, hey, you know, you write one sentence about yourself and that's pretty much it. And then you have your pictures. So it's like, hey, you're hot. And then you can message each other. And usually it's like, you're hot. Let's go hang out. Let's go do something. So I guess if you want to get laid, you can probably use Tinder. And I think that would work really well. So two hot people, you know, they're going to hook up because they got that in common. Yep. Right. Exactly. And for OkCupid, for example, like the guys that I have met on there, the biggest issue that I've had was with the profile pictures because they post this picture and women are guilty of it, too. You post this picture that makes you look amazing and then you meet them in person and they're just not what you had expected. And I actually walked out of a restaurant. This is going to sound terrible, but I had walked in and I saw this guy sitting, you know, on the side kind of so I had a view of him, but he didn't see me or at least I didn't think he did. And I knew that he was the guy. But he wasn't. He was just not at all what his pictures look like. And I turned around and walked out and I texted him and said there was an emergency and I couldn't make it to the date. Oh, man, you're that chick. I had to be that chick. I really did because I'm really bad at lying and like pretending. So if I go and I'm not having a good time, it's terrible. No, you're really bad at lying. You just lied. No, I didn't. Yeah, you said there was an emergency and you blew him off. Okay, yeah, but that's a text lie. That's being really good at lying, actually. That's a white lie. That's good at lying. I mean face to face. Like if I'm face to face with you and we're trying to have a good time and I'm not, I can't lie. I'll look like I'm not having a good time. Oh, okay. I'm trying to think of other. I do have a crazy story actually that I want to share, but I want to take a break first before I share it. In this story, it happened more so because I wanted to write about it. And when I got this message, I basically got a message from a guy asking me to do a few things for him in exchange for other things. I'll explain it later. Okay. But this entire story, I saw it kind of come to life in my head before it actually happened. And I was really big into my writing at that point. And I was like, you know what? I want to do this just so I can write about it. I want to write a story about it. And I did. I did. So I definitely want to share that when we get back. But we want to take a quick break. Again, you're listening to the Sweet Release here at Skid Row Studios. And I am Kate Rider. We will see you soon. See you soon, dude. See you soon, dude. Bitches don't even get to you So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna run and hide? No fight for your fucking rights Bitches don't even get to you And they don't fucking care See you like they didn't realize You're long as fucking air When we have the sense It's a fucking beast And all we can say Is fuck the whole thing Bitches don't even get to you So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna run and hide? No fight for your fucking rights It's a fucking beast This is the new sound We came to get down Our name is Chromie Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh We are in control. This is a new sound. We can't forget. Our name is Chromie. And we are in control. Have you ever felt this way? Welcome back. This is Kate Ryder, and you are listening to the sweet release here at Skid Row Studios. So as promised, I have quite the story for you. This is something that I hold very near and dear to my heart just because of all the emotion that went into it. And it really kind of changed me as a person, to be completely honest with you. So I'm going to go ahead and just start telling the story. I was using OkCupid looking for dates, obviously. And this man kind of sent me a message. And his message was, hey, your profile is really pretentious. And for me, you know, I read the message, and I kind of took it in for a second. I was like, what do you mean it's pretentious? It's a dating profile. I don't understand how it can be pretentious. So I thought about it for a minute, and it seemed as though he sent me this message looking for a very specific response. You know, I felt like he wanted to get a rise out of me or sort of catch my attention. And he did because it kind of, like, irritated me a little bit. So I just responded with thank you. You know, I didn't want to be, you know, a bitch up front. I just wanted to say thank you and see what his response was. So I said thank you, and he responded back. And he said, you know, what are you doing on here anyway, kitten? And I responded to him. I kind of gave him a little bit of lip. I was like, you know, why did you say my profile was pretentious? It was very curious, you know. And he basically just kind of shut me down and was like, don't worry about it. Like, I'm just on here trying to, you know, find a little bit of kink. That's basically what he said. He said stop being. Was his pretentiousness a turn on in a weird way? His pretentiousness? Yeah, well, his. His. His kind of shutting you down, you know, kind of being cocky, you know, was that a turn on? It wasn't so much a turn on, but it was, it really got my interest. Because I wanted to know, like, what this guy was about. Like, why was he talking to me like that? Like, what gave him the need to just find some girl out of the bunch and, you know, say that? You know, it just, I think he wanted to kind of get under my skin. And that's exactly what he did. Because I was just going through all these messages. And I'm like, what the fuck? What do you mean my profile is pretentious? And so we were going back and forth. And I started to be a little bit rude. And he's like, stop being a neurotic little kid, is what he said to me. And he asked me what I was doing on there. And I was like, you know, just hanging out. And he said that he wanted to do an exchange. He wanted to do, he wanted to offer me something. So I asked him what it was that he wanted. And he said that he used to be a dominatrix. And he was looking for someone who would do the opposite for him. He didn't want to be the dom. He wanted to be the sub. And he had this obsession with feet. It was a really big obsession. And he had asked me if I would do a few favors for him with my feet, you know, he would take me or he would pay me. That was the original offer is he was going to pay me $300. So I sat there and I kind of took it in for a second. And I was like, okay, what exactly do you want me to do? He responds with, you know, shoving his face in my dirty shoes. He wanted me to wear a pair of shoes. He wanted me to wear Keds, those like little white tennis shoes. And he wanted me to wear skinny jeans and get them as hot and sweaty as possible, not to wear socks with them. And then he wanted me to shove his face into my shoe. He wanted me to make him lick the bottom and the inside of my shoe. Did you buy Keds just for this? No, I made him buy them. I don't like Keds. And then he wanted me to suffocate him and like choke him. So this coming from someone who's, I've never done any of this. This is before I started, you know, getting into S&M. Like I didn't know if I can actually do that. I was like, I can't be a dom. I'm usually the sub, you know? So I kind of gave it some thought. And after he gave me all his details, I was like, okay, you know what? I'm not a prostitute. I would rather not take money for this. So since you said that you were, you know, a dominatrix, how about you slap me around a little bit in exchange? So he agreed and he said he would take me to dinner. He gave me the, the time and the date to meet him. And that was the end of our conversation. So it was a couple of days later. This was in the middle of the week. It was a Friday night. He sent me a text and said, this is when we're meeting. Meet me at eight o'clock at this bar. It was in Williamsburg when I was living in New York. And I sat in my room contemplating whether or not I was going to go. I was getting really nervous. I thought the whole idea was just out of my league. It was something that I wasn't, you know, I've never experienced anything like it. So I sat there. I opened a bottle of wine. I pretty much downed the entire bottle to myself. I got up. I took a kitchen knife and I put it in my purse just for safety. Like, you know, just in case for emergency, if anything happens, like I have a knife. And I texted my friend and I told her exactly where I was going to be. And every time I went from place to place with this guy, I would text her to let, let her know exactly where I was. I give her updates. But the main reason I met with him is the reason his message was so striking. Is because I can see it unfolding into this like crazy situation. And I was a sucker for that. I wanted to experience everything. And I just felt there was so much involved in this that I can turn it into something bigger. So my imagination was running with it. I was like, you know what? I'm going to just do this. And it was probably one of the bolder things I've ever done in my entire life. I mean, it's dangerous. It's incredibly dangerous to do something that and of that sort. But I just felt like I had to do it. There was something in me telling me do this. Um, you were very much a writer. At this time. And so you were kind of doing the whole like going after the story, putting, putting yourself in danger to really get the story. So that was the mindset you were going on, right? Exactly. I just, I really, I don't know. I just felt like putting myself in the situation can help me grow as a person and kind of figure out who I am, you know, acting like a dom to a complete stranger and acting out these weird fetishes that I've never been, you know, familiar with. Uh, it was, it was completely, completely different than anything. I've ever done. Um, so I left and I got on the train and I met this guy. I get to the first bar. It's just like a small little, you know, hole in the wall. And I don't see him at first. So I walked towards the back of the restaurant or the bar and I see him hiding in a book. He's wearing all black, very, very skinny. He's got tattoos and his face is literally like shoved in this book. So I couldn't really see it. I just kind of saw his profile and I knew it was him. I just, he was, he was pretty creepy looking. And that was the first thing I was like, okay, I'm pretty sure that that's him. Um, so I walk over and I sit down and I said, hello. And he says, get up. I was like, oh, okay. Like, are we going to have a drink? He said, no, we're leaving. He grabbed his, like, he had like a bag, a big book bag. Grabs it and we walk out. I'm like, where are we going? And he says, shut up. Don't worry about it. So to me at first, I'm like, okay, you know, he's, he's telling me to shut up. He doesn't want me to speak. He wants me to follow him around like a lost puppy. At this point, I'm like, he's already in character. He's, he's already, you know, trying to do the exchange. So he said that he would slap me around a little bit if I, you know, uh, had, did his fetishes for him. So I think it was kind of just part of the game in that sense. And so I, I just kind of kept my mouth shut and we were walking. We walked to the next bar. Uh, we ordered a beer and a shot. That's like a huge thing that they do in Brooklyn. It's like super cheap. So we did like two, I think it was like two, two beers and two shots. And we quickly left. Like he was always in a hurry. Like his composure, everything. Like he just seemed so nervous and it, it kind of freaked me out. But at the same time, I wouldn't say that it turned me on, but it just really like kept my heart, like my heart rate up. And I was just really like anxious. I wanted to know what, like what the hell was going to happen. How is my night going to turn out? So we finished that next bar and then we start walking. Um, and we, we pull over like to the side and he pulls out the Keds and he says, I want you to take your socks off and put the Keds on. I was like, okay. So I sat down. I put the Keds on. By the way, I had him buy them for me. If you didn't quite catch that, I wasn't going to spend money on Keds. Um, so I put the Keds on and we start walking and we start going over the Brooklyn bridge. It's hot as fuck. It's like middle of summer. It's very humid. I'm sweating. He's sweating. I was, I was tired, exhausted. I didn't know where we were going. And so I asked him, I'm like, where the fuck are we going? And he grabs the back of my neck with his, with his, like his thumb and like two of his fingers. So kind of like this. And he just. Just like shoves it into the back of my neck and he pushes me up against the fence. And the, when you're walking on the Brooklyn bridge, there's like a fence on the side. So he pushes me up in front of it and he grabs my arms and he like whispers in my ear. He's like, shut the fuck up. I told you I was taking you to dinner. At that point, I'm, I lost it. I got really scared and I started playing the part almost naturally. You know, I thought I was going to, it was going to take me a long time to kind of get into that character, but I already, I was already scared. I, I was terrified. At that point. So we continue walking and he takes me to this Thai restaurant. By the way, who eats Thai before fucking? That's like not, not okay. So we go to this Thai place and we, he orders for me. He gets two orders of pineapple fried rice and some wine. And we're just kind of eating it and drinking, not saying a word. This guy had nothing to say. Like, even when I tried to, you know, attempt conversation with him, he was very much just like, I'm going to stay quiet. This is business. I'm here for you. You're here for me. There's, there's no need for conversation. It was really intense. The entire time was just incredibly intense. And I, I was having almost anxiety. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. So we finished dinner and we get up and he pays obviously. And we get into a cab and the cab takes us to this little building and it was like a hole in the wall building. I didn't know what it was. And I asked him where we were going. He still didn't answer me. So we walk up this like tiny narrow stairway and we go. Into this room and it's like a little waiting room. And it was basically a cheap motel, but it wasn't really the motel that you would stay at like for, you know, a night or two. It was more of like you take a room for a couple of hours. So we asked the woman in the front and she said, oh, just be a couple minutes. They're cleaning up the next available room. So I'm sitting there like, okay, just, just going to wait. I looked over at him and he, his whole composure was very just, you know, hands in his lap looking down. He had his bag at his side. Like he was all. It was the most interesting person I think I've ever met in my entire life. Like I just couldn't read him. And I feel like I'm, I'm usually pretty good at reading people. So we, the, the woman tells us that our, our room's available and we go into the room and he puts his stuff down and I'm sitting on the bed and he's, you know, starts taking his shoes off. And I'm thinking to myself like, okay, it's, I, I've got to do this. I have to get into character. Like I, you know, I have to play this part. This is what I'm here for. I got to do it. And I was kind of drunk at that point. You know, the alcohol started kicking in and I had a really nice buzz. So I felt a little bit more at ease and a little more comfortable, but I still wasn't sure when to go in. And I, I studied this man, like he was my prey and I was just waiting for the very right moment to kind of just jump in and attack. And so I, I stood there and just watched and watched. And then finally I'm like, I'm just going to go in. I'm going to do it. And I walk over to him and I tell him to stand up. And he just looks at me and says, no. And he was sitting, he was like sitting kind of on the edge of the bed pretty much. And I was like, stand up. And he said, no. And I asked him, are you sure that you, you want to keep your answer as no, you don't want to listen right now. Like, are you positive? And he said, yeah, I'm not getting up. And at that point I got a little bit infuriated because I knew he was messing around and he was kind of testing me. So I grabbed the back of his head, like his hair. And I squeeze it. Like super tight and pulled him upward. Like I, I'm not very strong. I'm a very petite woman. And like, I was able to lift him up when I felt, I felt it in his legs that he was kind of like, oh shit, you know. And he just kind of waddled his way up as I pulled him. And I told him to get further onto the bed. And I sat down and he was just staring at me like with these eyes. The eyes were very dark. He was a very dark man. And I asked him to start taking my shoes off with his mouth. So he kind of just looked at me. He was a little bit hesitant. And I took my shoe and like my foot and I kind of like nudged him in the face a little bit. Like, I want you to take my shoe off now. So he starts taking them off with his hands. And I'm like, no, no, no. Put your hands behind your back and use your mouth. So he starts undoing the shoelaces with his mouth. And he eventually gets it off. And he, he looked like he was enjoying himself. I'm like, you know, he's, but he, at the same time, he still seemed really hesitant and really shy. Like he wasn't sure that he was comfortable. With what was going on. But I'm assuming that that's just part of, that was part of the game, part of the experience. So he takes off my shoe and, you know, I tell him to get on his knees. And at first he refused again. So I pretty much like kind of pushed him off of the bed and had him fall. And at this point he was acting like a child. He looked pathetic. Like he was just very lengthy and very like in his own little world, you know. And he seemed really weak, especially the fact that I was able to kind of push him off the bed. So I pushed him off the bed. And he's on the floor. And I start taking my toes on one of the, my other shoes still on. And I take my toes. And I start kind of like moving them around his lips a little bit. And I'm asking him, do you like the taste? Like I want you to suck on my toes. And I've never had a guy suck on my toes before at this point. It was all very new to me. And I didn't like it. I honestly didn't like any of it. And, you know, in my head, like I was laughing. I thought it was funny. But then there's this outer part of me that's serious. And I was in this full dominatrix like zone. I was like, I'm going to do this. I think it's interesting to kind of highlight that throughout the night, you guys were kind of shifting roles where, you know, at one point, he's kind of being the dominant where he's telling you to just shut the fuck up. He's taking you to dinner. And then you were thrusted into this dominant role. And it speaks to knowing what role you're in. And if you're able to. If you're able to do that switch thing that, you know, some people just can't. And you're saying, you know, right now you're saying how you you're laughing kind of on the inside. But, you know, going through with this for the experience on the outside. Did you feel out of place trying to play this dominant role? I, you know, in the beginning when I was when I was kind of studying him a little bit and just watching his movements, I did. Like I was really nervous. I didn't know how to go about it. I didn't know if he was going to actually take me seriously. But as soon as I made my first move, I just felt this entire thing like flip. It was like a light switch that flipped. And I was able to get into it very quickly. And I was surprised how easily I was able to transition from being, you know, this shy sub girl to being this dom who's making this poor guy, you know, lick my dirty feet. It was it was just I don't I. It was kind of it was weird for me. Like I still think about it now. And just the entire. The entire experience itself. I didn't know that I had that in me. Let's just say that I didn't know that that can come out of me. Like it was it was really dangerous. And I think that was the part that kind of turned me on a little bit that it was not. It wasn't who I am. It wasn't my normal personality. So, you know, after we're there and we're, you know, he's sucking on my toes a little bit. I kind of like mess around with his face. I put a little bit of weight on his face with my toes and I have him get back up and he takes my other shoe off. And I took the shoe after he had taken it off and I grabbed the back of his hair again and I shoved his face into the bottom of the shoe and made him inhale it. I don't know if any of you have ever walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, especially in the middle of summer. But you sweat a lot. And I cannot imagine these shoes smelling very good. I shoved his face in there and I asked him to lick the bottom of it. And he was and he he was literally licking the shoes like it was a pussy. Like just his face was inhaled. And he was just going for it. And it was it was disgusting. Like to me, it was disgusting. I'm watching him or I'm holding him like in my shoe. And I'm just like, he's really going for it right now. Like so I felt like I had different personalities. Like I had the inner child in me that was cracking up and just like this guy's pathetic. And then I had the the outer personality of me who's making this man do these things. And then there's just that the person who who I normally am, if that makes sense, kind of like watching both of these things happen. It was like it's difficult to explain. I guess maybe like an out of body experience, I guess you can say. Like I was just like seeing both sides of it at the same time. So I have him in my shoe for a while. I have him lick it for a while. And then I decided to change things up a little bit. So I told him to get on the bed and I scooted myself up against the headboard and I spread my thighs apart and I took his head and had him. He so he was laying like his head was this way. So if he was laying with his legs in the opposite direction. So his head was basically in my crotch, but he was looking up at the ceiling and I squeezed my thighs together so hard and started suffocating him like he had asked. And at this point, you know, I'm suffocating this guy. And we had a safe word, by the way. The safe word was banana. And you should probably do that when you when you do anything S&M involved. And he never used the word. So I continue to suffocate him and or choke him, I guess you can say. And he's he's in between my thighs and his arms. Or around my thighs holding up like this. And I get harder and harder and I can see his face getting redder and redder. And there was that little part of me that was thinking like, holy shit, I can kill this man right now. And that's the part that that almost that was the part that turned me on. I'm just going to say it. And it's really weird for me to say that out loud because I didn't understand that at the time when it was happening. But I've analyzed the story so many times. And like, that's the only thing I can think of. Like this. This whole situation was just completely bizarre. I had a stranger in between my legs getting suffocated and I started to enjoy myself. I enjoyed it more than than the foot fetish stuff. I can tell you that. So he he tapped me a little bit and I went harder because I never heard the word. And then I can like see his eyes kind of closing a little bit. And then I heard him like muffle banana. But he said it so low. And I swear if he said it any lower, I wouldn't have heard him and I probably would have killed him. But he he said banana. So I stopped. I freed his head. He lay there for a few minutes and I just kind of sat there like I think we're done. You know, we were going at it for probably a good 45 minutes. So he gets up and he walks over to the bathroom and I'm just sitting there on the bed and I'm watching the ceiling fan. And I'm like in this trance, like I'm staring at the ceiling. I don't know what's going on. I'm just kind of lost in my own head, like what is happening at this moment. And then I see him come out and he has a huge bundle of rope. And at that point, that's when I was like, oh, my God, what did I what am I doing? What did I just do? Like now it's my turn to get my ass handed to me. And that's when I really started to get scared. I want to continue the story, but I think we're gonna take a quick break. And when we get back, we are going to finish and get to the juicy stuff. So again, this is Kate Rider and you're listening to Sweet Release. I sure hope you're enjoying the story and we'll see you in just a minute. Sweet Release. Sweet Release. Sweet Release. Sweet Release. Hello, welcome back. This is Kate Rider. You're listening to the Sweet Release here at Skid Row Studios. So I've been telling this crazy story about an S&M experience that that I had when I was living in New York. So I kind of want to continue where I left off. So at this point, you know, all the foot fetters, stuff was done, the choking was done, and I had time to kind of breathe and just take in everything that happened. And this was also when this, you know, the tables kind of turned on me where he was paying his part of the deal, which was slapping me around a little bit. So he comes out of this bathroom and he's got a whole bunch of rope that was carried in his little duffel bag that he'd been carrying around all day. And he threw me onto the bed and tied me up. So I was like face down, muffled into the blanket, and he starts tying me. He was being very rough to the point where I got so afraid that I started thinking about the knife that I had packed in my bag. And I was like, there's no way I can even get to it at this point. So really, I just felt, I felt that I was in a lot of danger and that anything could happen at that moment. Like my life was kind of just on the edge there. I was really scared. So he ties me up and he kind of just like takes the back of my head and shoves it into the pillow so that I couldn't breathe for a few minutes. And I was like, and he takes off his belt and he starts slapping me with it really hard on pretty much one of my ass cheeks. And he stayed in the same spot. And I guess that's what you do to increase the pain. But he whipped me probably about five or six times. And I was yelling so loud to the point where I was like, I don't have to act anymore. Like this whole story just came to life. It came to life exactly the way I had pictured it in my head. So he's whipping me for a while and then he stops. And he has me all tied up and he gets on the bed and he takes off his clothes. So I'm assuming, okay, he wants to have sex. So he takes his clothes off. And I asked him, I begged him, I'm like, please untie me if you want to have sex, untie me first. So he unties me. And then I go to get on top. And he just sits there like he didn't know what to do. So he was completely like lifeless at that point. Like he just kind of stared at me. I was like, should I, you know, should I, should I get on top? Should I start doing this? He wasn't hard at all. And he was just like sitting there lifeless. And I was like, what? Okay. So I try to get on top and he pushes me off. And I was like, are we having sex or not? And he just looks at me and says, no, we're finished here. So at that point, I'm like, okay. So I start taking my clothes, putting them on. And I, you know, we clean up the room a little bit and we get ready to leave. And like, he doesn't even say anything. I was like, he's like, okay, well, bye. And so there I am. I'm in the middle of Manhattan. I'm in Manhattan. I'm in Manhattan. I'm in Manhattan. I'm in Manhattan. I didn't know where the hell I was. He got in a cab and went on his way. I never spoke to him again. And I got in my cab and went home. It was a $60 cab ride. I had leftover fucking pineapple fried rice in my bag. And that was pretty much it. Oh, and some dirty kids. And so like till this day, you know, I think back at the story and I really just should have taken his fucking money. I really should have. The $300 would have been so much better at this point. So that's, that's basically the entire story. And the reason that it's so important to me was the fact that I was able to experience so many different personalities in myself and so many different emotions all at one time. It was very overwhelming, but it was also a big turn on. And it was just different. And, you know, I wrote a short story about it and I did a reading a few weeks ago at a bookstore, which is really cool. And it's just a story that I feel like when people read their outlook on me, just totally changes. They don't, they don't, they don't expect that. At all. You should make the story available on your Facebook page. Yes. Yes. I will definitely do that. I'll turn it into like a PDF or something. Go to Facebook, subscribe to the sweet release with Kate Ryder. Please, please do. Also, again, if you have not done so already, go to iTunes and subscribe to my show. So if you miss it on Sundays live, you can watch it whenever you want. And just another reminder, I am looking for some kinky girls in the area who would like to be on the show. Um, I want to use some toys and, you know, just kind of throw in a few different experiences here at the studio and we would love to have you on. So if it's something that you're interested in, uh, please let us know. You can send me a message on Facebook at the sweet release page, or you can send me an email at katesweetrelease at gmail.com. Uh, same thing goes for any bands that are unsigned and you want to have your music play in between, uh, any of our shows here at the studio. Just let us know. It's a great way for exposure, uh, and kind of get your stuff out there. We would love to hear from you. Um, and I'll see you in the next episode. I certainly hope you enjoyed the show next week. I want to talk about getting turned on by massages, uh, professional massages, not ones you get from your boyfriends or your girlfriends. Um, and we have a couple other things for you. So thank you so much for tuning in. Um, again, this is the sweet release and Kate Ryder here at Skid Row Studios, the radio on the internet. Thank you so much for watching. See you next week.