Technology, Google Glass, and sexual humor

D-I-N-O-S-A You are a dinosaur D-I-N-O-S-A You are a dinosaur It just got really gay up in here. I love that. It got like super, like where it was gay before, but it got super heel gay. No, it's super gay. Just because they're go-go boys doesn't mean they're gay. Go-go boys, get off the table. Get off. Get off. Guys, you're done. Don't literally get off. Just jump off the table. Get off on my table. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just have to say, this song is ageist, okay? Ageist. Are you an ageist? Are you? I'm Asian. Maybe. I'm a little vain. I know you want to be Asian. I do want to be Asian. I do want to be the oldest one here. Why wouldn't you want to be Asian? I want to be Asian. Okay, I just have to say, we were in Venice a few days ago, and there was this little Asian girl in the backseat of a car. I'm not proud of my life. Next to us, and Stacey turns to me, and then she looks at the little girl and says, I want to be you. End of conversation. Oh, my God. It's, you know, I didn't say that I was the classiest of girls, but I do want to be a little Asian girl. Why not? Why not? Is it because they age so well? I'm sure that there's plenty of them working in some sweatshop downtown. Oh, wait, we are downtown, aren't we? It'll be all right. I'm already going to age well because I'm half black, so I'm good there. I'm good there. It's not the aging thing. They're so little and cute, and they can wear everything. They can wear a turtle shell, and people are like, that's so adorable. You're so adorable. Look at her. Yeah, but older Asian ladies, they crouch down, and for some reason, it looks like they then ate themselves. Listen, I want to be Lucy Liu. You just got to deal with it. Okay? Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up and be Lucy Liu. Short Asian Lucy Liu. Okay. I'm sorry. If you're going to be an Asian woman, then I need to stay away from you on the road, don't I? I don't know. Maybe you need to stay away from me now. You have to. Maybe you'd rather be Lucy Liu than Maggie Q, because she's pretty badass. She knows the martial arts and shit. Yeah, but Lucy Liu went to Brown or something. She's smart. I want to be Sandra Oh. You're already Sandra Oh. Hi, everyone. My name is Frank Bennington, aka Bad Touch Bat Boy, and today we were in a bit of a heist situation. With me is my precision getaway driver. I didn't kill anyone, just so everybody knows. Frank did that. Yeah, I did. I did. Should we introduce ourselves? Yes. Wow. Awkward already. It's the beginning of the year. Beginning of our second season. Yeah, it's awkward. Yeah, it is. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So are you going to introduce us, Mr. Host? With me is Anastasia Washington. Eva Housen, if you're nasty. Is that your new nickname? No, it's Darth Boobs. Okay, Psycho Fanbot. Or Darth Boobs. Or Darth Boobs. Or Darth Boobs. Rachel. Hi. Hi. This is Sassy. Communications expert. Sassy Pants. Oh, I am the communications expert. What? What? I don't know. I'm giving you a title. What? It was either that or... The girl with no phone currently is a communications expert. I know, right? I was just going to be like, I have no phone, yet I'm the communications person. I telepathy, right? It's just all mental communication. And our three accomplices. Oh, yes. We have our political correspondent, who will just be named Nathan. Hey, guys. How's it going? And we have our cinema correspondent, Jeff. Do we have a nickname for you yet? No. There's no nickname for me yet. We went with just Jeff, but it wasn't just Norclever. It wasn't cute Norclever. And our honored guest from our sister show, Oral Stimulation. If you haven't checked it out, it's awesome. Her name is Melissa. We don't have a nickname for her yet either. Hi, guys. How's it going? Good. We need a nickname for her. Oh, real quick. I have to say, happy birthday to my mom. Happy birthday, mom. Happy birthday, Melissa's mom. Wait, we had an occasion for me to bring cake, and we didn't? What's going on? I'm still waiting for you to bring the alcohol. Oh. Okay. Next week. Next week. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was a little crazed this morning. I almost killed like five people. Can you do a booze cake? Booze cake? Yeah. You can pretend that coffee is booze. You can just, you know, imagine it. Yeah. Bailey's. Or something. I don't know. Coffee is booze. What are you talking about? Ugh. I hate coffee. You can have some Hennessy that's in the fridge. That's right. There's Hennessy. There's Hennessy. We love our station. Don't we? Nah, it's leftover from New Year's Eve here. How was your New Year's? You hung out with Skid Row? It was unbelievable. Yeah, I was up here at the studio for a while, and then I was hanging out with the Playboy radio people. Ooh. Yeah. I've never seen so many beautiful people crammed in one corner of a house. It was... Wow. It's why we didn't go. We were... Well, I felt I was going to feel inferior next to, like, Playboy radio people. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, that's self-esteem. I don't need that word. It was a lot of fun. Everybody was really, really nice. Everybody was cool. Did you get to meet Hugh? No, no. This was like a house party. Oh. So, yeah. Yeah, no. Hugh never goes to house parties. Well, that was his big wedding day, guys. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, right. I forgot. Actually, I didn't think of you. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Where was our invite? Congratulations. Congratulations to you and your child bride, Hugh Hefner. That's a series now. Child bride. Is he still going to have girlfriends? Oh, I don't know. Does he still have girlfriends? Because I'd like to get on that list. I know. I mean, the perks are pretty intense. I mean, you get an allowance every month. You get a car. You get your education paid for. All the plastic surgery you want. But you have to be in by 9 p.m. And you just have to sleep with them. You have to be in by 9 p.m. Plus, then you get, like, cute shows afterwards. You have a curfew. Plus, if you go out on a date, you get the senior discount. Nice. That's true. You get to get an early bird dinner. You never have to worry. Oh, I get it because it's old. Pay, like, five bucks for movies. That's awesome. Hey, Frank finally caught up with the conversation. Yay! It's okay, Frank. You're old, too. Love you, Frank. Do we? What's going on? I tolerate him. I don't know if I love him. I like him. Is it shit on Frank Day? No. Thank you, guys. I like you, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it. I don't know if I'm at the love you stage yet. You'll get there. Well, you're giving me attention. That's all I care about. She has commitment issues. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. She'll commit to you one day. We'll have a beautiful ceremony. We'll go down to City Hall. And then I'll put a life insurance policy up. Yeah. It'll be wonderful. Commit to you, Frank. And the next episode of Snapped. Except it'll be reversed. It'll be Frank Snapped. Except it'll be like the guy who got snapped on the phone. The woman. So the woman's snapping on the guy. Oh, my God. And then like 20 years later. Which one of you would be the bridezilla? Frank. Hello? Frank would be the bridezilla. I don't know. If you put your mouth towards the mic. Hey, guys. Thanks for joining us. If you're not blowing it, you're not doing it right. Frank, can you teach me how? Of course I can. Okay, later. We can teach you a lot. Stop hitting on people. Teach me how. I will teach you. Anybody have some Skittles? Skittles? No. Skittles? No. Skittles? I hope we have some Hennessy. We do have some Hennessy. Yes, we do. I cannot believe that's left, man. Have some. Because Alex brought it for Jeremy. I figured Jeremy drank it all last week. Yeah. Whatever's not gone was... Wow. That's impressive. Interesting. That is impressive. So when Hugh Hefner gets married, does he wear like a tuxedo robe? Is that what's going on? No, I just think he wears the dinner jacket, man. Okay, the dinner jacket. I think he wears the dinner jacket. I think he wears the dinner jacket. I think it's that rope he's been wearing for like years. I just think he wears that now. Okay. He's just pajama style all the time. I'm just letting you know that Frank is Googling currently. What he wore at the wedding? I need to know. Is he like a cartoon character? Yeah, he wore a suit. He wore a suit. Not a pajama suit. With a bow tie. I guess it's kind of funny that we're wondering what Hugh Hefner wore. We should wonder what she wore. Like was she clothed? She had nipple tassels. No. Oh, she had a cute little... I would have liked it if she wore like... A little dark with the tassels spinning around. She didn't wear white. She did not wear white? Whoa. Are you saying she's not a virgin? Let's fix that. I mean, I can wear white on my wedding day, but can we not? I would have liked it if he wore like tuxedo pajamas. That would have been so cute. Wouldn't it have been? It would have been adorable. I really could have filmed the How I Met Your Mother episode and it all would have been great. I really want your husband to wear like feety pajamas that look like a tuxedo. I really want that to happen for him. That'd be so adorable. Can we get Frank fitted for some of those? Yeah, let's... I mean, you're going to marry her, right? Can I get it? But can the feety pajamas... Can the tuxedo style be like that of like a 70s tuxedo with like the ruffly shirt and the powder blue? I'm just here to make your dreams come true. But if you pull that shit at my wedding, fuckers beware. I was joking. I would be like, I'm wearing my formal feety. I would never do that. I would never do that. That's so white trash. Melissa, do you understand this at all? I love it. That is so white trash. I'm sorry. Oh, you're going to have a white trash wedding? Are you going to like have it at a trailer park? Are you going to drink out of mason jars? And on the next episode of Honey Boo Boo. On the next episode of... Honey Boo Boo. Honey Boo Boo. You're going to have pigs and you're going to go... Because a dollar makes me dollar. You're going to go pigs. I once saw a wedding at an amateur rocketry event where the guy was wearing a wife beater and had two bottles of beer in his hands while getting married. So if you want to go for white trash... Rocketry? Oh my God, that is so awesome. Right? You're a little... As rockets went off in the background. Calm down. Keep your hand up. Oh, well, that's kind of cool. I would totally do fireworks at my wedding. That's where you can say, except these were, you know, rockets. Rockets. Rockets. Rockets. They didn't explode, hopefully. Nothing says love like rockets. Right? Really? It doesn't. Maybe they were love rockets. Oh! And White Snake was playing in the rocket. Afternoon tonight. Mm-mm. Okay. Oh my God. I watched that episode of Arrested Development a couple of days ago. Really? Because I just watched Anchorman. So that's not up when I first heard it. Smelly pirate hooker. Your hair looks stupid. Why don't we have that? Why don't we have that as a soundbite? New soundbite. New soundbite. Yeah, I'm getting new soundbites. Did you have any topics today or are we just going to talk to each other? I did have topics. I wanted to talk about... Are they secret topics too? Sounds like it. They're secret topics that I'm... Wait, I have to communicate to you guys through telepathy what they are. I'm not going to tell you what they are, but you have to guess. It's good that you have topics because I don't know the rest of the lyrics to actually do it right. It's okay. We can Google it. I can feel your topic. Are you feeling my topic? Your topic in me. Is it deep inside you? Deep inside you. Oh my God. Oh my God. Deep inside me. I don't like that topic. I don't like it. We're going to be talking about technology. Yay. Technology. Technology. And emerging technologies and how we feel about them. Yeah, like rocket-powered vibrators. And no, that's not a real thing. Where can I buy one of those? At the amateur rocketry event where we're all going to get married. I'm not getting married there. I'm not getting married on amateur rocketry events. Come on. Rachel. Or like, what are those like? Middle of a dry lake bed. Like a model. A guy wearing his best wife beater. I think it would be perfect. My family's Southern, but we're not that redneck. Hey, my family's Southern too. Come on, Rachel. Let us play you. Hey, my family's Southern too. We can both agree to that. How do we not do an earth? We're not that redneck. I feel like we should plan Rachel's wedding. I feel like we should plan Stacy's. No, mine's already planned. You know that. This boy's going to just fall in line. Let's re-plan. Let's re-plan Stacy's wedding. No, no. Me? Is it all on Pinterest? Some of it is, yes. Did you say boys are just going to fall in line? How many people are you marrying? Well, I've been engaged a few times. Sorry. They're all coming back at once. Her secret's out, Nathan. She wants to be a polygamist. I do. I would totally be down with polygamy as long as I can have multiple husbands. I think you could handle it too. I could handle it. I would love it. Can we call them your harem? If they won't marry me, can I have mistresses and mantras? Because that would be awesome too. Be like, these are my mantresses. These are my mistresses. And this is my husband. I like it. I love it. What would they be? Your brother husbands? No, because that sounds gross. They're called sister wives. You made this something awful. What are you saying? They're called sister wives. So then would they be brother husbands? Brother husbands? Brother husbands. I don't know. Wait a minute. If you say brother husbands. Brother husbands. These are my brother husbands. I'm my other brother husband. My other husband. I don't know. No, I'm not a brother. It sounds very cultish. I'm sorry I brought that into the mix. I'm so sorry. How dare you shame something so clean and so beautiful. I'm so sorry. That's polygamy. So pure. So pure. Just like my soul. They ruined it. And body. Yeah. I'll go sit in the corner now and hang my head in shame. That's all I ask. Okay. This is all so technological. It's so technological. It's so technological. Speaking of technology. Technological. My technology is being a butthead right now. My phone's being stupid and I hate it and I just want to. Can you murder an inanimate object? Because I want to. You can throw it out windows and stuff. I want to murder my phone. I murdered my Furby. You murdered my Furby. It just annoyed me enough. It was like, I don't want to eat. I don't want to eat. And I'm like, fuck you. I killed my Tamagotchi. How do you have sex without your Furby? I don't know. What would be a Furby if it was sexual? You can find out later. You can find out later. I think it would be like, remember when girls were getting everything waxed off and shaved off and they were getting just a little patch of fox fur? That's like the little Furby. Or some vajazzling. Vajazzling. That's like the guy version, I think. You know who does vajazzling? It's just a little patch above his penis. Jennifer, I've never heard of that. Jennifer, I've never heard of that. That would be a multicolored patch. Well, he could still have sex without his Furby if it's just a patch above his penis, so he'll be okay. Okay. Okay. It sounds like the worst vibrator name in the world, I'm just going to say. Would you like to buy a fur? It sounds like a really horrible name for something. Yeah, if a vibrator had like fur on it. Right. It just sounds horrible. I'm sorry. Well, I mean, I don't know if Jack Rabbit is equally as good. It's furry and it stinks you like a bee. Oh, that's gross. Moving on. What were you going to say about Jack Rabbit as if you knew what a Jack Rabbit is? I've seen the infomercials. I know what a Jack Rabbit is. Just watch that infomercial on like Oxygen Channel. You don't even know. That's where the holes are in the vagina. Okay. You thought we peed out of the same hole as we have sex. Okay. To be fair, he's a young gay man, so maybe he never had to know the reason. I'm not a vagina. I don't pretend. But I'm still ashamed that his biology nor science class or whatever he took in middle school did not tell him the female anatomy. I'm not going to call out anybody else that doesn't know. Yeah, no. No. I'm just kidding. I'm not. I'm not. Shame on you, public school system. I thought the girls peed and had their vaginal cavities in the same place. No way that that would happen ever. Shame on you. Jeff, did you know that we pee out of a different hole than sex? Yes, I did. Thank you. Thank you. Yay. Did you know, Melissa? I was adjumacated. Adjumacated. Thank you so much. Surprisingly, some girls are not informed of that either. So, good for you, Melissa. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Good for you, Melissa. Things, you know, they get a little messy down there. You don't always know. Well, not messy like that. I mean, there's a lot of skin and folds and beautiful flowers. Liquid. But any, I don't know. I learned in biology class that I have two teeth. Okay, yes, you went to school. Don't say that. Jesus. I don't know. In Tennessee, they never taught us that in biology class. In Tennessee, they kind of brought your sister out to show you. That is true. Yeah. I heard they were all good at it. I heard they were all good at it. I heard they were all good at it. I heard they were all good at it. Sister what? Sister what? Don't go to Tennessee because in Tennessee, they don't know about vagina. No, they do. Because they've been able to learn from their family members. Exactly. Wow. That's homeschooling. That's homeschooling. Did your mother, did your mother sit you down and go, you know, Jeff? Oh, my God. Homeschool sex education. You started this. You did this once. You're the one that brought it in. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Google vagina thing works. Technology. It will show you a lovely diagram, I am sure. Or we can draw you a diagram at Jerry's Deli if you would like. And technology. I watched an interesting movie last, I watched this movie called Indie Game, The Movie, about the- I've heard of this one. About, it features the guy that made Braid, which I've heard, like, that's actually Frank talks about all the time. So finally I knew what the fuck she was talking about. Wait a minute. Are you talking about the game braid? Yeah. Oh, okay. No, I'm talking about the hairstyle braid. Yes. Frank invented it. So, but I was like, all I ever heard him talk, I was like, oh, you should see this game braid. It's really cool. And I was like, whatever. It sounds lame. And then I saw how the guy created it. And I was like, that's really cool. And some guy that created a game called Fez, which apparently is never coming out. Fez is cool. And Super Meat Boy. Those were the three games that were featured. Super Meat Boy looks fun. I can't talk. Super Meat Boy. That won't work on a radio show at all. Are we talking about meat like M-E-A-T or meat like as in M-E-E-T? No, he's M-E-A-T. He's a boy with no skin. He's a giant red cube. He's got no skin. And he's trying to save. So sexy. He's trying to save his girlfriend who is made of bandages from. Aha. Here's the interesting thing. A bunch of he knows how a vagina works. From a villain called Dr. Fetus, which is a baby fetus in a glass bowl that wears a monocle and a tuxedo. Now, do you think the people when they were making this game up smoked some kind of substance? Drank some kind of substance? I don't know. I want some of that. The two incredibly delightfully nerdy neurotic men that they interviewed. The guy that designed the game was like. I mean, not that I'm attracted to a guy that would make that. He'd be hot for Frank because he was a big bear, the designer. Gay bears? No, straight bear. Wait, Frank goes for bears? I didn't know that. Wait, they have straight bears? Frank goes for everything. Oh. The bears are my favorite. Big hairy men. Big hairy men are bears. Oh, just in general? Yeah. Kind of, yeah. I mean, I guess we could call them lumberjacks. Do they know they're bears? Probably. Because you probably. If they're gay, they know they're bears. If they're straight. Yeah. They just think they're hairy dudes, man. Okay, that's what I thought. I didn't know if they were down with the terminology. But I don't know. But the guy that made, the guy that designed Super Meat Boys always made weird games like this, so. You'd be like a cub or something. Yeah. No, cubs are, never mind. Cubs are the people that the bears are. You'd be a cub. Taken as their cubs. No, isn't a cub a smaller version of a bear? Yes. I thought that was an otter. No. No, what's an otter? Otter is basically a hairy twink. Oh. What are you saying? What are you saying is smaller than a bear? Wow, so much I'm learning today. I thought you were saying. What about Furby is small? I don't know what we're referring to when you say you're Furby, so. It is the same size as everybody else's who bought it from China. I was having a pleasant conversation about video games. And then. And technology. Wait, I want to know what a Furby would be if it was sexually besides like a fur patch. Are you referring to an actual Furby when you're talking about fur? Are you talking about Furby? Are you talking about Furby in your pants? Maybe a Furby is what furries call like their little baby. I don't know. I found it. It's twice our ass. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm still not clear on what you're talking about. I don't know what's going on anymore. Why are Furbies coming back? Didn't we all get frustrated with them in the 90s? Same reason movies came back. I took a mallet and pounded mine into the. You pounded your Furby with a mallet? Yes, I pounded my Furby with a mallet. Oh my God. Oh my God. And. Technology. Oh dear Lord. Melissa's like, why did I come on this show? Frank, did you actually have anything to discuss or were you going to let Rachel talk about the technology instead? I was going to talk about technology, but the conversation is skewed elsewhere. You're skewed. We'll throw something at us. What do you got? Well, I wanted to talk about a series of like new technologies that are coming up. And we, I guess we could start with. All these have really sexual, like. I am so in. Dark sides. Everything with you is sexual, Frank. I'm going to tell you, I'm very like nervous when we talk about sexual things. I hope it's still now. The conversation has been completely straight-laced. I just never experience anything sexual, so I don't know. I'll guide you through. If you're comfortable to now. One of these days we are going to videotape our podcast people. For all of you that do not have video, Stacy is currently naked. So you guys can see what Stacy does. She's not actually naked. She is on the camera. There's a camera in there? There's a camera. Oh, look. Oh. You guys didn't know that? No. But it never records that. Like it never. Anastasia, you didn't know that there was a camera in there? I didn't. Otherwise, I'd be always like this. Okay. Seriously, no. She's not naked, guys. She's wearing her tassels. It's fine. Tassels on. Okay. I love it. It's completely closed. What did you want to talk about? Okay. The technology. Oh, brother. Okay. Let's start talking with Google Glass. Does anyone know what Google Glass is? Yes. I've heard of this. Who do you think we are? Of course we know what Google Glass is. Have you too, Jeff? Melissa? Yes. Do you want me to Google it for you? I watched the five minute YouTube ad for you, Google Glass. I have no idea. It is basically a piece of glass that goes on your glasses or it comes in frames. And it displays map information, text messages, phone calls, internet. It's basically like a mini. Like that bionic eye thing? Yeah. Pretty much. Oh, my gosh. Imagine that you're Iron Man and then you get it. Yes. Can you drive with it on? Jarvis. Yeah. It only goes on one side of your eye. On one of your eyes. And it's very, very small. But the people who've already tested it say it's pretty. You could use it and still walk around. Didn't they just use it at a fashion show? Yeah. Which fashion show was it? It was, what's her name? What is her name? Yvonne something, something. Yvonne Spursber? Yvonne Spursber. Fuck. Oh. Diane. Sorry. Diane von Sturzenberg. Yes. Yes. Yes. There we go. Furstenberg. I don't know yet. Thank you. Furstenberg. Furstenberg. Furbies. Yeah. There's some talk. Some people don't like the idea. They think it's going to make everyone that much more disconnected with reality. You know what? They will like the idea when they can download porn on it. Yeah. That's what I was going to talk about. That's going to be uncomfortable though. So how do you. You're just hanging around with porn on your eyeball and nobody else knows. So how do you like search? Like how do you. How do you get like. Well, they're still working on that. There's a tracking pad on the side, but there's also a technology that looks at how your eye moves. So if you move your eye left to right, it's possible that you could program a like you can search pages or read a book that way. Here's the real question. Will there ever be a student who doesn't cheat on a test ever again? Right. No. No, it's my. They're my eyeglasses. I don't know. Yeah. You anti-Jewish person. You. Why do they have to be anti-Jew? Why do they have to be anti-Semitic? Okay. Of the six people in the room, who are the two wearing glasses? I actually have glasses. She has glasses. She just doesn't wear them all the time. I'm only Jew by injection. They're only reading glasses. I've never had sex before. I'm just kidding. I have glasses for driving, but I don't wear them. So watch out. Watch out. See? Oh, now who's the bigot? You bigot. Thanks, guys. You're very comfortable on your show. Yes. We did. To be fair, we did warn you, Nathan. We did warn you. It's true. You knew what you were getting into. They told me that everybody would be bigoted towards me. Uh-huh. Apparently, these glasses are going to cost $1,500. Well, it's okay. No, that's the. That's the. That's the developer ones that are. Developer edition? Yeah, those are the ones that the companies are testing. But the final version is not going to be out until like 2014. You think they fixed the price by being like, just keep adding zeros. Just keep adding zeros. I don't know, man. Seriously. No, they've been talking about pricing it more around any other smartphone, $400, $500 around there. Can you make calls on it? Yeah. So that basically would be the amount of money. Yeah, it's voice controlled as well. Can you imagine all the things you can do because you're completely hands free? Oh, my God. Can you take pictures? Mm-hmm. Yeah, you just say take a picture. Camera one, camera two. Camera one. Camera two. That's going to be a little bit uncomfortable because of someone's wearing glasses that can be taking a picture of you any time. That's true. Wait, can they download the Skid Row Studios app on it? They should be able to. Coming in 2014. Is there a Skid Row Studios app? There is a Skid Row Studios app. You can stream all the things that I'm currently doing with my boobs to your eyeballs. Watch out. Oh, man. So accidents are going to be happening. You can also see what Frank is doing under the table at all times. What about the airport naked x-ray thing? I don't know if people really want to know that. I'm not sure. Right? Yeah, there's a lot of interesting questions that are going to be raised when these things actually come out. I might also point out, as of today, Google just released their self-driving car to the public. You can now buy a car that drives itself via Google Maps. Now, my question is, has anybody here... I just got... Google Maps... Have I been drinking and driving no more? ...to get to here today? So I'm a little bit worried about a car that drives itself off of Google Maps. Is it possible to drive... Does it take you the most security... ...to manually drive this car? ...roundabout way? Or does it just drive itself? Yeah, no. I think you can manually drive it or you can set it to autopilot. As long as it's not Apple Maps, I think we should be okay. Thank you so much. Why am I in the middle of a building right now and why is everyone around me? Whoa! Apple, you really fucked up this time. I just thought you were like, how is this still gonna go wrong? Well, I mean, yeah, I mean... But it does mean that we can all go get drunk and you don't need a designated driver. That's exciting. Can you take me to my house? I have like... Wait, what car is this? It's a car. What car is this Google car? Like, what is it? Yeah, is it stupid? Is it like a smart car? Is it like a smart car? I don't know. Those cars are horrible. I think they're just selling the technology and I think you could put it in your own car. I don't know. Please tell me it's not been built by Asia. It is being built by Asians. Listen, my people built it. My people built it. Hey, if I trust my Furby from China, I think I should be able to trust my Google car. You bashed it in. You bashed that car. Okay, granted, I killed the Furby, so maybe not. With a mallet. Very violent death for that mechanical little booger. I just want to say, Google X Labs, I love you. They are creepy. I think we have... I think we have Google boners in here. I feel like we are Google boner people. I definitely have a Google boner. Did you find an image yet for the Google car? I am looking. Is it a lot of zeros? I found it already. It looks like a Prius. It does. It looks like a really... Oh, bummer. Wait a minute. Toyota Prius modified to operate as a Google driverless car. Fuck that. Fuck that. I don't want a fucking Prius. Why can't it be like a Tesla or like a Lotus? Yeah, can it be a Tesla? Seriously. Or a Porsche. Or a DeLorean. Seriously, we need to bring back the DeLorean. We need to bring back the DeLorean. The fucking DeLorean. And I'm sorry, don't Prius drivers already kind of drive like douchebags a little bit? I feel like they do. Prius drivers are douchebags. They're like, hey, guess what? I've just saved the earth so I can fucking do whatever I want. You know what I've noticed about Prius drivers is they tend to drive like 15 miles slower than every... Until they have to get over and then they don't signal and they're on you, right? Their car can't go quicker than that. Why are you driving so very slow? Their battery will explode. And what we use is a battery. We use a battery. We use a battery. We use a battery. And what we don't know is that Melissa drives a Prius. Melissa's like, I drive a Prius. And I am entitled because I drive a Prius. Haven't you guys seen my car? No. It's a Tahoe on 22s with an aftermarket. Oh, thank God you're normal. Oh, thank you. Everything. I feel so much better now. You guys could park your Prius in the back of my car. She looks like she's in the back of my car. I don't have a Prius. I mean, she's got a lot of cakes and crap around, so she needs a big car. I will take your cakes. I will take your cakes, not your crap, though. You can have my cakes. Cakes and crap. Cakes and crap. Maybe a crap cake. She's got little cakes, adorable children. Actually, he would enjoy that more than you know. Probably so. And technology. Boy, we should just do that for every show. I like it. Now, another thing that's coming out is, well, it's already out, but they've reached a much higher benchmark, is facial recognition software. To the point where there is software that actually detects if your smile is genuine or if you're faking it. Like they have in the CIA and the FBI. I don't know if everybody's mind went there, but I was thinking that the facial recognition software could be there to detect whether or not you're faking an orgasm or not. Oh, God, no. Google Glass. It's like an app on your phone and it's like, you faked it, bitch. I was like, no. It's like, no. It's like, no. It's like, no. It's like, no. It's like, no. It's like, no. It's like, no. It's like, no. It's like, no. You're so good. You're so good. You're so good. Hey, God, look into my right glass of my glasses. Let me know whether your moment is real. And the Google car's like, she faked it. Quick getaway. All technology would just revoke on me. Can we not reveal if we're actually happy in a photo? Can we not do that? This is one thing that I'm not really too excited about. It just seems really intrusive. They're thinking about doing things like having... employers basically test their employees before they go into work to make sure that they're in a good mood. What? Yeah, shit like that. So it's like a weird creepy invasion of privacy. I'll be fired from every job I've ever... Can't you fake a real smile though? I feel like you could, right? I'm just saying that it's the creepiest invasion of privacy from a business ever. Melissa's like, I'm very good at faking things, so I feel like I feel like I could do this. Yes. I feel like as actors, we could totally do this. We could totally fake anything, but I feel like that's an invasion of privacy and it's very Big Brother and it's very scary. It's like... Like you could never have a shitty day again. Like ever. You'd always have to be constantly in like a fucking good mood every time you went to work. They're trying not to get fired, right? As long as you're in a good mood before you go to work. After you get to work, you can have the shittiest day ever. I'm so excited we're in a police day right now. I know! Like, why can't I have a bad day? They're talking about doing this with drug testing too. So you would walk in, you'd have to pass through a camera and then it would tell you whether, they would tell them whether you were on drugs based on your facial recognition. This is getting crazy. I think this technology does have certain applications, but I don't think against the public would be a good idea. Is this just America? Because I'm going to move to Europe then. Europe is known as the place that isn't a police state. Shut up. Shut up. Political correspondent! At least I can be in Italy and be pinched by hot Italians. The wine will be better, I won't care. It'll just be all good. I'm scared of the world now. And I don't want to go into space because it terrifies me. Where do I go? Orwell was right at 1984. It's just happening like 20 years later or so. And yay us! Do you think it's 20 years after 1984? Well, I think it's 20 years or so. It's 20 years or so. I'm not good at math, Nathan. Were you a communications expert? Were you even alive in 1984? You guys, 2000 was just like last year. I'm about to graduate from high school, y'all. It was born the year after. It was born the year after 1984. 2000 does not feel that long ago. It doesn't. It's like nothing has really happened since like 2000. Yeah, you know, 1990 was like 10 years ago. Yeah guys, that new Charlie's Angels movie was awesome. Please get out. Cameron Deals is gonna be like such a big star. Guys, let's watch Jimmy Fallon on SNL. Oh my God, he's the funniest. He actually is really funny. He is pretty good. He's really, I like him better after the show than I do. So glad Y2K didn't happen yesterday. So stupid. And now back to our timeline in 2013. God, it's 2013. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. You guys are also old. Do you? I am. Fake you 14 year old Melissa. Yeah, right. Who drives a Prius. Who drives a Prius. Who drives a self-driving Prius. But it's okay, because she's from Tennessee. My faking life is way cooler than my real life today. Yay. But we're not gonna be able to fake it anymore, Melissa. Damn it. We're not gonna be able. Listen, that's gonna kill so many relationships for me. Oh God. I think that's gonna kill so many relationships for a lot of people. Your personal life, your family life, your career, everybody is fucked. But they're saying that the only application for this facial technology would be for like in your work. Like it wouldn't be like, hey, somebody stop, like somebody robbed something or something. What if your porn star recognized it? You know that shit will be on Pinterest. I don't know. I think that's a proposed application for it. They're still working with, I mean, we already do have facial recognition. Yeah. We have a lot of software like that. I don't think we have out yet. But that's just one idea that they're thinking of using. I mean, I understand for like interrogations, it would be a good idea. Like you could tell if someone's faking. I would only like to use it if I could only use it. Nobody can use it on me. Exactly. Like portable phone wise, just like. Yeah. I'd be like, nobody else can use it on me. Like I'm immune. Like I have like this shield. Mm-hmm. She is faking. She's not even alive. She's not even here. Now you're gonna face it. Oh my God. She has no pulse. Oh my God. You'd be like a vampire. You've been found out Stacey. A vampire. What is that? What is that? You'd be a vampire. Hey technology. You're stupid. Cause you'd be a buzz ball. Your face. Your dumb hair. What else? What else? What else? Oh. What else? Did you guys hear that we might be a computer simulation? Yes. I heard that. Like the matrix? That was like, we already talked, discussed that on. Yeah. Our show. No, but I mean. I wouldn't say that. If I'm living a computer simulated life, I wish I got a better fucking life than this. Well, I'm trying, I'm thinking like if we are a computer simulation. But you're Neo. What programs are we? Shit life if this is matrixing. I'm gonna say that because we're a computer simulation, I am going to reach into your chest and tear out your heart and you're gonna be okay. Okay? I'm gonna just do that right now. Just chill. A little blinking heart is gonna start blinking. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. Just chill. I'm like, I don't want to come back to Sims because I have to clean up pee. Really? Is Sims just like a big golden shower? Right? Pretty much is. I'm like, why did you piss on yourself? Why? Why every time I come back to Sims, are you pissing on yourself? And then you have to clean up. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it anymore. I can't. I'm glad I've never played Sims. Sims are not potty trained. They're not. It sounds like having kids in real life. Really? I'm like, I'm so stressed out by my Sims. I'm like, you pissed on yourself. You didn't know how to wash yourself. Your place is a mess. You fucked this person and now you're pissing on yourself. I don't understand. I don't want to do it anymore. Can you do that in Sims? Screw each other? Yeah. Yeah. Really? I mean, it's not like... It blurs it out. Yeah. Unless you have the hack. God. What's the fun then? Interesting. There's a hack to see naked Sims? There is indeed. Yep. Like there's like Sims porn. I mean, I don't know that. What? There's porn. There's actually Sims porn. On your computer, right? Yeah, but there's also like... Just click to porn. There's modifications. There's like different body types for your Sims and like if you want your Sim to look like someone... Here, let's go back to the 90s, like Carmen Electra. What crowd are you playing to? I don't know what crowd I'm playing to. Wow. We're going back to the 2000s again. As the only straight man here, nobody ever liked Carmen Electra. Really? No, that's false. A lot of people. That is false, sir. When did you have sex with Carmen Electra? Now or in the 90s? Now. Now. Any version of Carmen Electra. No, no, not now. The 2000 models. Melissa, would you have sex with Carmen Electra? Yeah, I would. You know what kind of contacts I could get off her? Is she still married to Dave Navarro? Have you ever seen her? No. No, no, no. The real question is Melissa... Have you ever seen her workout videos where she gives lap dances? Oh, yeah. That's a real workout. It is. It is. I have the cardio striptease on. Would you all have sex with her after the facial recognition software? Would you be able to fake it well enough? I would fake it so hard. But to be fair... Can the facial recognition software actually pick up Carmen Electra? Here's the question. She's just a computer simulation, so you could really make her any version of Carmen Electra you'd like. Here's the question. Carmen Electra, if you want to be on our show, we do love you. Yes, we do. And I won't be there that day. With your Google glasses and this facial recognition software, could you make people prettier? I don't know. Is there an answer to that? It's called alcohol. Alcohol. Why exactly? Maybe that app has been around for a thousand years. Maybe they'll come up with an app for that. Alcohol makes everyone beautiful. I'm sure there's already an app to make people... But I mean in real time. Why don't you just go have sex with a prettier person? That's difficult. You don't have to always lower your standards to have sex with a guy. You can actually... You could share what you're seeing through your glasses with other glasses. Or... So sex tapes can go instantly viral? Yeah. You can live stream your sexual experience and there's also... Take off your pants. Let me put on my glasses. Oh, brother. Nothing ever sounds sexier than that. Yeah, and actually... We're going to live stream this shit. Night vision. We're going viral in five. They've also... I mean, besides the virtual reality aspect, they're also... They're also working on making it contact lenses because they've come up with contact lenses that have LCD technology in them. What? Remember a minute ago, you were like, I wear contact lenses and I'm not Jewish. I know, I said I wear glasses. So eventually, you won't even need the glasses. You just need contact lenses. I can't even put contacts in. Remember? We're trying to put contacts in. Oh, God. I can't touch my eyes. I can't put my contacts in. I can't do anything near my eyes. No, it freaks me out. I'm sorry. I would like the contact lenses that they wear. I would like the contact lenses like Torchwood where it's like the camera contact lens. I would like so much from Torchwood. For first. Yonto, Yonto, Yonto, and Yonto. Oh, I miss Yonto. God. That was one of the reasons why Miracle Day just sucked. There was no Yonto. Because there was no naked hide-and-go-seek for Yonto. Man, technology. My brother was a... Yonto was a great piece of technology. My brother was a character in the new Torchwood. I'm just saying. Whatever. Was your brother Yonto? No, he was an Asian back then. Okay, well. An Asian dude was named Nicholas Frumkin. Listen, I am now an Asian woman, so I'm not going to date any Asians. I'm only going to date black guys and really hot white guys. You're an Asian program. You're an Asian program. That's what your computer simulation would be. You'd be an Asian woman. I'm going to be a really small Asian woman that only dates really big black guys. The question is, the question is, when we have a problem, when we have a problem with Stacy, do we have to call an Indian call center? Yes. Oh, my God. She's glitching, people. Oh, my God. We need to run her through an antivirus program. Oh, brother. I'm clean. I named you Jack. I got the McAfee. You got the McAfee. That's not his name. I upgraded to Norton. Oh, no. Ah. Ah. Moving on. Okay. So let's ask her questions. Oh, there's questions. Okay. So I pulled this question out of my ass, so you go first. Okay. Let's start with you, Nathan. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So are you an orgy person or more of a gangbang person? In light of recent events in India, I will have to say an orgy, an orgy person. Okay. How very, how very thoughtful of you. Let's just crack. If you put it out there, then yes, the events in India were very, very serious. I mean, she died. Yeah. She died. Yeah. But. Let's have a moment of silence for this day. Let's not, because this is a radio show and that would be horrible. I just want to, I just want to like, put out there, like, the question is, orgy is more of a, like, sensual? I explained this to you yesterday. This is a script for a gangbang. Orgy is more of a fancy, fancy gangbang. And gangbang is more of like, a dirty, Here's the other thing. Gangbangs, I mean, there's just, there's a lot of sausages there. I mean, there's, it's like, And your problem is? He's strange. I'm strange. That's a good night for Frank. Counter to what I said to you last night. Your Ferdy says otherwise. No, but, counter to what he said last night when he was stroking your balls. Continue. Whoa. Nathan does not do the, the, the stuff to Frank. It's the other way around. Oh, sorry. It's only gay if you do this stuff. That's right. If you blow the guy. I just stuck my finger in his butt once, okay? Prostate milking on the show. No, but I mean, I don't know. There's just, there's a lot of guys there. I mean, you know, the women never came, you know? Both the fingertiply. He's an orgy guy. Especially because like, all the guys I know have no idea how a vagina works. So. This is true. But not you. No. Not you. Not me. That's okay. We'll just send Frank over to teach them. So Jeff, we're all, are you an orgy person or a gangbang person? I would probably have to say gangbang because it's a lot dirtier, I think. Oh, Jeff is a dirty boy. Jeff is a dirty boy. I don't know what that is. I don't know why. No, continue. We're still. Hands up. Hands up. Hands above the table. Hands above the table. God. That was like Russian. Can you pull that out again? That was a Russian one. I don't know. Don't do it, man. Yeah. What about you? Don't do it, man. Don't do it. Okay. I'm totally going gangbang because I'm a huge attention whore and I want all those guys looking at me. Good point. You are not a whore. Yeah. I like that answer. I'm an attention goddess. Are we answering those questions as well or is it just the guests? Answer it. Go. Well, we're going to answer our suit. Answer. I am more of a gangbang person. Wait, she didn't answer. I don't know any answer that's going to be. I was just like, wait, that's a kid. Get it out of the way. I'm a gangbang person. Everybody jump him. Dog pilot Frank. What about you, Stacey? I'm so glad I brought my water bottle today. What about you? Well, I think I'm an orgy kind of person. The question came about because I was talking about how my ex-boyfriend had this fantasy of like kidnapping me like at random times and like just coming up with a van and like, you know, kidnapping me and going at it, that fantasy. So look him up if you guys want. His name is no. And I was like, I think I'd be terrified by that whole fantasy and I think I would try to kill you. So I think orgy because it sounds nicer, but also you could get kinky up in there. How did the kidnapping story have anything to do with either? Was he going to gangbang you? He was going to, him and his friends. Oh, in the van. That's terrible. He's like, I'm not going to tell you and I go, he's like, would you be mad? And I said, I think I would be. I'm pretty sure I would. What if they gave you candy first? Um, I, not like, like maybe, maybe if you're going for the Reese's peanut butter cups or something, I don't know. And still now, what Reese's peanut butter cup size would you want? Um, like that, that one pounder, that one pounder. No, really? You can get a one pounder for Reese's peanut butter cup? Yeah. I got it. I know what I'm doing now. That has a marina on top. Don't act so excited, Rachel. That has a marina on top. What about you, Rachel? Um, I think orgy, it, it just sounds classier than gangbang. Sounds Roman. Right? So the three of us who gave that answer, next door, I've put couches. Plastic wrap. Plastic wrap. Nothing says sexist. It's like plastic wrap. Sorry, I thought you said classic rap. I'm like, I don't know how that plays in. We got some, uh, yeah. There are some R Kelly songs. He's in the closet or something. Trace on. Oh, that is it. There are some pretty good songs. What about your question? Oh, uh, um, if you could have sex with a cartoon character. You'll have dirty minds. Who wouldn't be? No, I have a good mind. Which cartoon character? Yeah. It should go to somebody else first. I went first. Okay. Well, you're the one that broke up. Melissa. God, I don't know because the only cartoon that came in my head was the Smurfs. Talk about a gang bang people. There you go. But you'd always leave them with blue balls. There's nothing you would be able to do about it. Oh God, it's true. That's just disconcerting. So she's going with Smurf? Any particular Smurf or all the Smurfs? I think I'm going with the Smurfs. I think I'm going with the Smurfs. I think I'm going with the Smurfs. I think I'm going with the Smurfs. I think I'm going with the Smurfs. I think I'm going with the Smurfs. I don't even know. That's just the only cartoon that came in my head. You want the Papa Smurf, don't you? Doug. Doug. Doug. Just Doug. And Skeeter. And Skeeter. But not Roger. Never. Fuck Roger. Never Roger. What was his, what was his Chalky or something? What was his friend that was always hanging around with BB and all those people? The guy that always wore the Letterman jacket. What was his name? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. but he's pretty handsome. Frank, I feel like you're going to say Woody the Woodpecker. No, that's what we would be doing. Do video games count? No. She said cartoons because they're good. Well, I mean video games. No, it's not a cartoon. Different art form because I'm being mean. Yeah, because you're so mean to me. I know, I'm being carless. I don't know. I would... Maybe Archer? Cartman? No, God, no. I made you kill your parents. I made you kill your parents. Cartman's mom. I mean, everyone's done that. Because I wouldn't have to do any work then. You fuck up things. Butters is a very curious little boy. And he's slightly gay. I like how we're... talking about children. I don't know. Cartoon characters? So we're going to go with Archer for you. Sure, we'll stick to that. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Of course, Jessica Rabbit. Of course, Jessica Rabbit. Frank? All of the Thundercats. All of the Thundercats? Yes. Even the Goyles? Even the girlhood? That would be the gangbang. But they would all call you Ho. Thundercats, Ho! Ho! He's used to that. And the problem is... He's a Ho. He is a Ho. Except for Snarf. He's a Ho. He's a stupid Ho. He's not a Ho. He's a nice boy. Okay. Me. I've never seen Archer, so I can't... What? I've never seen Archer. Okay. No. But she's totally sure. Yes. Okay, you know that guy from Mulan? Yeah. Captain Shade. You are so Asian. I'm so Asian today. I thought for sure you were gonna say Trent from Daria. That's who I thought originally. I thought for sure. I change it. I change it. Trent. Trent, Trent, Trent, Trent, Trent. Yeah, because that's who I was originally gonna go with. Yes, you can. You can change. The prince from Tangled. Oh, fuck that. Flynn Rider. Oh shit. Can I pick three? Flynn Rider. No! You said one. All at the same time. You just wanted because he looks like John Delbarian. There's your orgy. I hope John Delbarian does not... Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I hope John Delbarian does not listen to this station. None of us wanna have sex with you unless you wanna have sex with us. Of course. No, I'm just kidding. All the listeners of your show are sitting in this room. We have a new Cisco now. Fuck off, bitch. Okay. Here's my question. Oh, brother. Would you rather walk around the world for like ever until you die without any skin and muscles exposed everything or walk around with giant pustules all over you? And you had to walk around the world for the rest of your life? Yes. Are you naked the whole time? You can be clothed. Your skin is exposed. You can be naked. You either have no skin, like no layer. You're just muscles and tendons and everything. That's a real thing. Or would you rather have giant pustules? Really? Yeah. That's from the video game you were talking about earlier. It partly keeps you about. And eventually we'll have to save the fetus in a tuxedo. The last question I had came about from peeling vegetables. So this came about from watching this. So that's what I thought of that. Can you still get laid? Dude, it's whatever, man. It's your- How are you gonna get laid walking around the world? You've never heard of organ play? I'm saying you're constantly walking for the rest of your life. And technology. It's easy. You're constantly walking for the rest of your life. You leave your life like forest. You're not always constantly, you're not constantly walking, but you're constantly living, you are no longer skin the way you live your everyday life is skin, like no skin or pustules, man. Okay, so you're not walking around the world over and over again. No. Brings new meaning to pink taco. That's just exhausting. No skin? No skin. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I just, I think I would just shoot myself. I don't know. I would say no skin because then we wouldn't have differences between us. Your inner beauty. There would be no racism left in the world. Don't talk about my inner beauty. You can still tell, I mean, what race it was from the size of a guy's junk, though. Only, only- There'd be no racism. That's racism. That's totally racism. No, I'm hungry. Everybody else answer the question, because we got to play marry, fuck, kill. Okay, okay, okay. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. Rip it off like a bandaid. Pustules, because you can probably heal those up. All right. Pustules. Mm-hmm. I go no skin, because that's an actual condition. You can just wrap your skin up in bandages, and I don't want to be squirting all over the place. That's gross. Some people like it. You said they were bursing. You said they were pustules. What'd you say? I'll go with skin. Skin. Skin. Skin. You said no skin. Cause then we wouldn't have racism. Okay, perfect. Merry fuck, kill, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. it's time for Mary Fakir we need a song for it that's a good song Frank Mary Fakir I feel safe at my car no to you now not really not if we got facial recognition and shit I will go first I got James Bond I hate you but it's okay it's Daniel Craig Spider Jerusalem who I've only heard of just this moment who? Spider Jerusalem that's stupid that sounds like a dumb name Human Torch so I'm going to kill Spider Jerusalem because I know what he looks like this is a hard one but I think I'm going to you know you're flaming enough I'm going to fuck Human Torch because he's fucking hot and our sex would literally be on fire and I would marry James Bond she'd get that checked out if you're sexist if you marry James Bond Daniel Craig James Bond I will sock you in the face every day I see you you know that's a real shame because I'm going to have to punch your husband every time I see him I'm punching you in the face she's punching him in the face make a different James Bond why but you don't like I hate Daniel Craig as James Bond and I don't want you to call him James Bond if it's any okay you can get Sean Connery Daniel Craig is trapped okay man wow fuck you alright since you're almost out of time next I have Catwoman Aquaman and Invisible Woman I'm apparently a lesbian today is it Aquawoman? I'm going to fuck Invisible Woman because I don't know she's invisible? it'll be like where's she coming from? you'll never see her coming yeah I'll never see her coming and you're waiting to not be able to use the facial recognition software to see if she's faking it exactly I'm going to kill Aquaman good choice oh really? good choice more love for Aquaman fine do you want me to kill Catwoman? yeah that's fine okay so my you know it's her choice she can do whatever she'd like with her pics I just don't want to smell fish all the time I really don't I don't care if she's super strong he's fucking Aquaman he's disgusting and I'm going to marry Catwoman because we'll have a complicated relationship like all my relationships plus she can steal you really fancy shit it's true I like Chinese plus then everybody's saying that she'd be a wolf cat lady it makes sense Nathan choose yours nobody's ever called me a cat lady my three are Giles my three are Giles Mary Jane Watson and Animal Man I would kill Giles I know everybody's going to complain about that but I would kill Giles I would fuck Mary Jane Watson just because she's hot and you're straight and I would marry Animal Man just because I mean he has some cool powers you know the others the others don't really have powers yes because of the two men I had a choice between I really should have married Giles as the straight man instead you had a girl just yeah you did have a lady and I had sex with her who's just I mean nobody ever said the rule is you can't marry him and not fuck him that's true Jeff I have She-Hulk who I will kill Wally West Flash who I will fuck because it'll be over quickly and Nathan Drake this is always a good recommendation and Nathan Drake because think of the fabulous adventures we would go on together I would be married Nathan is it my turn? I chose what did I choose here? I choose a star man Jack Knight Lex Luthor and Beast now I'd marry Lex Luthor because he might be one evil guy he'll do but he's a rich motherfucker and and I'd never go for not first lady Starman I don't know who you are so you're dead that's my general rule I just kill you if I don't know you and Beast oh oh okay so do I get to sleep with both Beast as Beast and both as Hank pre-Beast um yeah okay then yeah good choice I made because why wouldn't you want to screw a giant gorilla man kind of thing I don't know I do all the time he's awesome you're so awesome Melissa okay so I got Peach Mario from Super Mario Brothers fame and Thor so I'm gonna kill Thor because my only Thor experience is with that porn star from Bankon and that guy totally freaked me out so he's out but he's not Thor he's not Thor he's not Thor don't kill Thor he's the most Thor-y Thor that I know and then I'm gonna fuck Peach because I feel like the costumes would be really good in that and I'm gonna marry Mario because he could fix shit around the house that's true and he will always get you but you kill Thor but here's the thing if you marry Mario you do have to deal with his annoying brother Luigi that's true gangbang awesome that would be a mafia game well what a way to end the show that was interesting technology technology um well yeah that's the end of our first show of season two Yeah, and we have plugs as usual. So people that won the contest, our Indiana Jones contest, are Sarah! You're the winner! Congratulations. You get two free tickets to the Discovery Science Center, one of our sponsors, to the Indiana Jones exhibit. Yay! Also go to RubbleRouser... Say it. RubbleRouserIndustries.net and get all your geeky, geeky, geeky clothing. Yeah, play out your Dexter fantasy. I cannot embrace this. I'm wearing my Dexter shirt right now. He is! And if he was straight, and I was attracted to him, it would be really hot. No, see? And like us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Instagram, Tweety, and on Google Glass. Tumblr. Google Glass, Friendsker, LiveJournal, Just like us in general. MySpace. Subscribe to us. And iTunes. Match.com. Fuck Frank. Eat Harmony. Plenty of fish. Grindr. Christian Singles. Christian Singles. Oh, brother. Oh, boy. Yahoo Answers. We're everywhere. Oh, Wikians. Oh, God. Just follow us in general. I mean, don't follow us down the street, because they get a little creeped out. Well, you can't. It depends. If you're really super cute, follow me down the street. The Stool Stalker, even if he's cute. Cute, Rachel. Did you not see that Friends episode where she fell in love with her sister stalker? That's true. What did they send? They're driving this car. He's very cute. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Follow us on Toyota Prius. Technically, I'm not stalking you. My car is. I'm just doing it. It's very Knight Rider-ish. Okay. Listen in next week for our Indiana Jones episode with Sean Owens. And thank you for Melissa coming on. Check out her show, Oral Stimulations. on iTunes and skidrowstudios.com and like her on Facebook and all those social network things and stuff. Yeah. Thanks, Nathan and Jeff. Thanks, Nathan and Jeff, for coming on. We like you. Kind of. Lies. Oh, lies! You guys are zany, man. It's the new year. Exit. Oh, boy. Keep going. Bad touch. Bad boy. Psycho. Fun. Bar. Saucy. Pants. Retro. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not.!