One-year anniversary with Mike Stocksdale and Brody Smith

Take it off, take it in Take up all the thoughts of what we've been Take a look, hesitate Take a picture, you can never recreate a song Oh man, it's so unbeat It's so unbeat Oh man, Jake the Snake looks like a drunk frat guy right now Wow, welcome to Sarcastic News Live My name is Justin Cross and folks, I'm coming at you live From the Skid Row Studios right here in the heart of LA's Hey, is that a raccoon or an oversized pregnant rat district? It's a pregnant rat, by the way, it's a pregnant rat Actually tonight is a, I did this on one of our shows I called it, we're in the heart of LA's loose pit bull district And tonight, sure enough, we have a loose pit bull in the house Wandering around, urinating on things She's, no, I don't think she's urinated yet, but It's coming It's coming, yeah We've been feeding her pap spool ribbon, so Tonight's show, this is, we have, this is the fullest, most packed show we've ever had In studio, and it's because, for a special reason Tonight is gonna be good, and I mean good Because usually I lie to you guys I boldface, I lie to you But tonight is true Tonight's our one year It's our one year anniversary Since I announced I was a lady boy It's gonna be good, guys It's gonna be real good No, it's our one year here at Skid Row And we're very excited about that Our one year anniversary We've got old guests We've got old guests That is guests that are just literally old They're like 70 years old That's our base We also have new guests, and a couple of them are joining us In studio tonight I'm very excited about these folks First of all, big round of applause for Diane! Over in the corner, everybody Diana And then we've got Fox E. Sellers here next to me A comedian For a much more mild applause I like that Everyone's getting claps And then, of course, right in the middle of them Sandwiched in between, Tara, everybody Tara Or as Donald Trump Or as Donald Trump may call her Tara One more time, one more time for Donald Trump If we have that I'm throwing you on the spot That's Jenny Guzman in the back, everybody One more time, we're pandering like crazy But Jenny Guzman, the best in the business right there I feel like I'm in an Oprah audience right now With all the clapping It's Ellen, I'm gonna start dancing in a second Tara Just the rogue Tara right there Of course, though, we've got the usual crew in-house Including surprise guests This guy was the original Who used to sit in Jake's seat And he was like, I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this But because he stopped showing up, Jake took it Matt Sugar Mills, everybody Matt Sugar Mills Yes, yes Oh, man People listening at home are like They just love each other Yeah They really do And then to his left Newer version of Matt Sugar Mills A more Jewish version Eric Feldstein, everybody Eric Feldstein There we go Thank you He's on Caps Through Ribbon number six All right, only 20 more introductions to go Well, and Speaker of the House This man, he really knows a lot about music He's a great guy Everyone needs no introduction He is a Sarcastic News Live staple Give it up to Speaker of the House This guy, they call him Chief of Staff Infections Jake the Snake Cream So glad to be here Longest intro ever My name is Justin Cross But as usual, as we do at the top of every show We begin with our Sarcastic News Live rundown Here it is Here it is Reputable 1980s music right there. Even sounds like it's coming off a Beta Max player. That's right. We start with our top story tonight. It is, of course, as you guys may know, the lost Malaysian airplane. And more importantly, how it's being reported by reputable news outlets and anchors such as CNN's Don Lemon. That Flight 370 has become a worldwide obsession. Thousands of you have been tweeting us about it for days. Why would the plane be purposely rerouted just to crash into the Indian Ocean? Doesn't make sense to me. I am interested to learn more about the passengers. Could this have been a targeted assassination or kidnapping? Could it be a catastrophic depressurization like Payne Stewart's plane? Do you think it may have been a dry run for a future plan? Scary. That's a potential scenario. I think it seems very remote. I don't think it's physically possible to do that. That's right. That's CNN, folks. The most trusted. The most trusted name in just blindly reading conspiracy theory questions from random people's Twitter accounts right there. What's with the who wants to be a millionaire music playing in the background? I swear to God, that's cut straight from CNN's own montage of Don Lemon. I wanted it to be like Regis, you know. What's your final answer? What is it? Well, at least I'm sure, though, if they were going to test out one of these conspiracy theories in an actual airplane simulator, then it would be a plausible theory and not done just for complete fantasies. eigenen eigenen eigenen and thousands of you have been tweeting us about it for days now. The Himalayas are vast. Is it possible that the plane could have crashed there where radar coverage may be spotty? These are the Himalayan mountains, and what we're trying to do is simulate flying through them. Apparently, trying to do it below radar, in other words, using the mountains as kind of cover. The 777 was never designed to be a fighter aircraft. If somebody was trying to do this at night, there's no way you would end up on one of these mountainsides here. So, you know, it's impressive to watch, but really this is just fantasy. So exactly, complete fantasy. Now moving on to a slightly sweeter story. You guys are going to like this. King Entertainment, the maker of the game Candy Crush, get the sweeter entertainment part? I love that game. Is seeing their initial public offering drop significantly. Some investors are skeptical that King won't have long-term viability if they don't do it. They fear there won't be a game that can match the Candy Crush popularity, as well as its unique ability to act as a conversation filler during dinner dates of bored and loveless couples. And sometimes during my monologue. And a decision that has the potential to fundamentally reshape the NCAA and alter the relationship between universities and their athletes. A regional director of the National Labor Relations Board sided with a group of Northwestern football players Wednesday. Calling them employees who have the right to collectively bargain. The NCAA is also in legal trouble of a lawsuit stemming from using athletes' names, jersey numbers, and physical appearance on video games, as well as other forms. They've also been sued, get this, for, well, of course, for protection of head injuries in football. Now sources close to the NCAA aren't concerned to the defense of these matters, of any of these matters, which, if nothing else, will be supported by throwing the billions of dollars they made on student-athletes at it. In the NCAA, the NCAA's defense, while many of the athletes spent an average of 40 to 50 hours per week during and around their respective seasons of the sport, a few stars were given the keys to Lincoln Navigators and the answers to pretty much every remedial anthropology test ever given. Just remember, though, there are no real wrong answers in anthropology anyway. Now, on a side note, while many college athletes spent 40 to 50 hours a week playing sports, Jake the Snake Craney and I spent a lot of time at Florida State, roughly the same amount of time, actually, figuring out how to roll the, how to join using a Jack Kerouac novel. So, we did a lot of that at Florida State. We won. We did. Every single time. My name is Justin Cross. We've got a great show. It's a packed lineup tonight. We've got a pit bull, a loose pit bull in the house. We've got Jake the Snake Craney with a hat that says, I'm in no shape to exercise. Which, and also underneath that, though, a Santa Monica track club t-shirt. So, yeah. Which one's erotic? It looks like it has a meatball state. I know, yeah. We've got a lot. coming up tonight, guys. And also, our musical guest, I haven't even introduced this guy. He is somebody who, he was our first ever musical guest. Fantastic singer-songwriter. You're going to like this guy. Possibly the whitest musical act since the Barenaked Ladies. Mike Stocksdale is with us. Mike Stocksdale. And with that, I think we're ready to go ahead and set Mike up. Let's go ahead. Are you cool? We'll put him over on Eric. I'm cool. Yeah, I'm cool. Yeah, you're cool. Bob Saget over here. Oh, my God. I really hope a lot of people are watching this to get these references. Well, while Mike sets up real fast, I do this every show. Now, I love Eric Feldstein. I like to call him Young Bob Saget over there. But he looks like Young Bob Saget. And then we got Young John Stamos. So we got the whole Full House crew right here. Actually, I'm going to tease this one. I'm going to play the first voicemail that I ever heard from Eric Feldstein. A lot of our loyal listeners know that. But some of the crowd hasn't heard that. So we're going to play that back. Mike, you ready to go? Sure. All right. Mike, in what song are you going to play, Mike? I'm going to play a song called Oh, My Soul. Oh, My Soul. Jenny says to pull... Oh, he? Did I say he? I said... Okay, sorry. Jenny says to pull the mic closer. Even closer. Sure. Even closer. All right. I can lean in. All right. Well, Mike Stocksdale playing Oh, My Soul. Oh, My Soul. Oh, My Soul. I can't quite make it alone. Oh, My Soul. I can't quite make it alone. You've been patching up my engines. You've been oiling my decisions. And I've been trying to make it alone. I've been trying to steer straight for a while. Yeah, but when I think I reach the end, the road sign signals turn again. I screech my wheels and pull out in style. See, I could jump over buildings. I could save all the children if I traded my feet for these shoes. And as time lingered on and the years made me strong, I still find my weakness in you. Oh, my soul. I couldn't make it alone. Oh, my soul. I couldn't make it alone. I couldn't make it alone. I couldn't make it alone. I couldn't make it alone. Oh, my soul, I can't quite make it alone. Oh, now little lady Sadie lays alone inside her room so shady with all the lights turned down and her mind turned on. While I'm strumming on that old guitar and wishing on the distant stars with all my life cut short and my dreams spread long. Well, she says maybe I will go to Spain. I don't even need an airplane, but I'll get there somehow. Just you watch. Oh, and it's me that can't stop watching her with a glass of wine in mind. So sure I'd let her in if I thought she'd let me off. Oh, my soul, I can't quite make it alone. Oh, my soul, I can't quite make it alone. I can't quite make it alone. No, I can't quite make it alone. Oh, my soul, I can't quite make it alone. Thank you. Thank you. His middle name is actually the F-bomb, guys. It's true. True story. My mother's decision. And you can catch Mike out at MikeStocksdale.com. I like it. You're promoting the show on the website. I love it. Oh, sure. Yeah, I got a picture of you right up there. I know. I know. Trust me, I stared at it for a while. You can also check out all his shows. He's playing August 3rd, 2013 at the Whits End in Venice Beach. Actually, yeah, I don't have any shows up there, but Monday nights at Room 5, they've got a great thing going on there. A bunch of songwriters come out. It's a free show, and we get three songs each. It's like a nice showcase vibe. Monday, Mondays at Room 5. Room 5 in L.A. So if you're an L.A. listener, huge bass. Huge bass. That, 70-year-olds, but big. And where is Room 5? Room 5 is 143 South La Brea. Okay. Like, maybe that's 3rd and La Brea around there. Okay. But yeah, it's like from 8 to 11 Monday nights. I think I'll be on around 9 or so this Monday. Is it the place that has like that Tiki vibe? No, Tiki. It's above Amalfi, though. Yeah, it's upstairs. There's like a big 5 in the window. It's right next to Acme Comedy. Right next to Acme Comedy. Yeah, which I've actually played before, the Acme Saturday night. That's a fun thing. Wow. Sorry to promote something else. No, no, no, no. I always feel good when a musician's played a comedy room that I haven't. Shows me I'm going places, Mike. We got nothing tonight, so I guess we're going with the musicians. That's right. All music. Well, yeah, and we're going to talk a little bit more with Mike in just a few minutes. You listen to, yeah, yeah, you guys switch out. You know, Mike, you're just musician. That's all you are to us. No, I'm just kidding. Now, we have a very popular segment here on Sarcastic News Live. Sweeping the nation. Sweeping the nation. Sweeping the nation. Sweeping the nation, as Jake said, called What's Happening in Your Neighborhood. And, well, here it is right here. Here's the theme music for What's Happening. No, no. Oh, come on, Guzman. You've been so untimed. All right, that's all right. Well, we used to have music, but trust me, it wasn't that good. Instead. There we are. There it is. You like to do this on purpose, don't you? It wasn't on the schedule. Oh. Sorry. So, in other words, that was Justin's fault. Yeah. He doesn't play music. He doesn't play by the rules. This is what I'm going to do. That's a... Oh, that's like an old school sound drop from... Jerry Springer, actually. The tomatoes were being thrown in that clip. I was on my bunk bed eating Tombstone pizzas watching that. And I recorded that. I recorded that. You were not the father. Well, we'll see. I haven't been to Kansas in a while. So, we're going to do this. This is What's Happening in Your Neighborhood. Basically, we want to know what's happening in your neighborhood. This is where we take a lot of calls. We're calling guests during this. But I want to start out tonight. And Jake the Snake, I know you got something brewing. Sure. Well, as you know, my neighborhood, my old stomping grounds is Pyongyang, North Korea. Yeah. It's really a lovely, lovely childhood there. See, it took a second with this crowd. They're like, hey, let it marinate. Yeah. So, the story out of there now is that an official law has been passed that North Korean males must style and cut their hair in the exact same fashion as Kim Jong-un. And if for some reason you're unfamiliar, that means totally shaved on the sides with a poofy comb over thing up on top. Now, clearly, this is absolutely ridiculous, both the law and the haircut. But my question to all of you is, if our government decided to make all the United States males sport the Obama buzz cut, the Obusma, would you do it or would you rebel? Well, first of all, I can't. I can't. And this isn't racist, but I can't grow what he has. I can't make my hair kind of just stay, like, without using, like, a pound of hair gel. That's very racist. That's, well, yeah. I think you should excuse yourself at this point. If you're going to take shots, Foxy, you got to speak into the mic. And when I say mic, I mean that. No, but. Would you get a buzz cut if all of a sudden that became a law? By the way, we had a call drop, and that's because we're too into ourselves. So, call. Call back. Please. Whoever called in. Well, first of all, let me just say, I think that Americans already do the North Korean Kim Jong. Like, we already do that. The shaved on the side, that's popular now. Like, the Zack Morris. A lot of indie bands are doing that. A lot of them are doing it. But it's quite, shall I say, unattractive. All right, that's it. I'm out. I'm out. Okay. I know we got a caller on hold, but I want to get one more person's opinion. Anybody jump in here. Would you, ladies, if we had a lady president. All right. Would you or would you not? She had, like, a bob. Are you going to get the Hillary bob cut in 2016? I know, I was thinking of that. It's going to be the Hillary Clinton bob. Yeah. I would rather go to jail than get the Hillary bob. Would you wear a pantsuit, though? Because she loves those. Ooh. Oh, man. Just like a red onesie, like you're the Kool-Aid man? No. Come on, now. Yeah, you couldn't pay me enough money to wear that. I mean, unless it was, like, for Halloween or something, I would. Okay. But, Justin, what if it was, let me ask you this. Yeah. What if it was you had to dress like Joe Biden, would you wear assless chaps? Oh. That one got me in trouble with my gay brother one time. But the answer is yes. Yeah. Yeah. I currently wear them. One weekend. Hashtag Biden-ing. He's got, like, a planet named after him now. That's what I heard. Biden? Yeah. Wow. I read that as research for the show. All right. All right. Let's go to the phone lines. Caller. You're calling Sarcastic News Live. Who are we talking to here? Hey, there. This is Paul Thorson calling. Oh, classic. Paul Thorson. Classic listener of the show. He's definitely a regular. Hey. I'm, I'm, congratulations, guys, on your one-year anniversary. You guys made it about a month longer than me and my wife. So, good job. Sorry to hear that, Paul. Oh, Paul. That's okay. Your whole evolution thing, you know, a couple months back there really got me thinking. So, yeah. Anyways. Anyways. I want to talk to you about something. And it's not really a. It's not a local story per se. But, you know, seeing as we don't know where the Malaysian airliner is, it could be local. So, I'd like to talk to you about that. All right. Yeah. Paul, tell us what's, what do you think? Do you have a theory, maybe? Do you have an idea of what happened to the airplane? You know, I can't tell you what happened to the airplane. But I could, I might be able to figure out what's to blame. And when doing this kind of thing, you know, when trying to deduce this, I thought to myself, you know, what is something in your life, Paul, that goes missing often? And I thought to myself, hey, every time I go to my sock drawer, I can never reconcile all the socks. Okay. I thought you were going to pull something out of the socks. Yeah. You were going to say something else on the sock drawer. No, no, no. No. I mean, it's been a pretty lonely time. So, there may be some other stuff in the sock drawer these days. But, anyways. You know, I can never. I can never reconcile the socks and get them all to match. And it's not like I take my socks off at work or in the car or in strangers' homes. So, the socks are all supposed to be there in my home somewhere, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well. But you got a bottom line for us, Paul. People are passing out in here, Paul. Clip notes. Bottom line is my socks disappear in such a small space. And how does this relate to the Malaysian airline? Well. Clearly, most of my socks were probably made in Malaysia. Okay. Okay. I'm starting to see a connection. That's at least what I gather from Zoolander. And just in the top eight sessions with, you know, the Malaysian Prime Minister. So, you know, I think there's a connection there. And I'll take my answer on the air. Paul, that was great. Thank you. Paul Thornton calling from Minnesota. I'm actually wearing a Minnesota t-shirt right now. So, thanks so much for being a loyal listener. And I don't know. I don't know if we really appreciate your conspiracy theory. But we appreciate the support. We acknowledge your call. Thank you. Cock monster. All right. Thanks, guys. Did you just say cock monster? I think you just did. We got another caller. Are we ready to bump them up? Or is it going to be another second? Okay. You're listening to Sarcastic News Live. Give us a call. 800-893-9562. 800-893-9562. We got a huge panel tonight. Celebrating our one-year anniversary. Caller, you're with us here on Sarcastic News Live. We'll see you next time. Tell us who you are first. Hello, hello. This is Jim from the Santa Fe Springs Man Cave. Yeah. Jim from the Santa Fe Springs Man Cave. My hat to you, Jim. Yeah. What's happening in the Man Cave? My butt off. Your what? The wind is blowing and I'm breathing our butt off here. Is the Man Cave outside? Yeah. It's a detached garage. Okay. So, it's more of like an outhouse. It is for me. And, and, and. My wife, Anna. Take a shit in here. I hear my wife, Anna. And she thinks your singer, Mike, seems pretty good. And she doesn't compliment very often. Yeah. Yeah. She's never given me a compliment. That's for damn sure. Mike, you got a compliment from my car. Mike is fantastic. One of our loyal listeners. My wife thinks you're amazing. She could have told me anything. She's amazing. My wife thinks you're amazing. Well, we appreciate you. We appreciate you. We appreciate you. We appreciate you. We appreciate you. We appreciate you. We appreciate you. We appreciate the support and the acknowledgement there. Jim, what's happening in your neighborhood? What's happening in Santa Fe Springs? What do you got going on this weekend? Give us a, we just have a minute or two, but give us some insight. No, no. Just relaxing. Taking it easy. The wind's blowing all our plants around. And I wanted to say my wife, Anna, you know, doesn't really compliment people about Mike. And she says, oh, he seems good. And I wasn't sure if we would think, when he said he would think the soles, I wasn't sure if the soles of his heart or the soles of his shoes. Because I like his walking a lot. But anyhow. Congratulations. Congratulations. One year. We enjoy the show. It's part of our Wednesday evening entertainment. And we hope you have a good evening and a good show. And I'm still wondering about the Jake the Snake guy. I don't know about him with the snake name. Oh, he's a slithery guy. But Jim in Santa Fe Springs, we appreciate the call and the support. And tell your wife, thanks so much. All right. Well, we enjoy the show and keep it going. All right. We will. Thank you, Jim. Until they kick us out. Thank you. We did bring a dog into the show. So. All right. That's Jim in Santa Fe Springs. Very loyal listener. That call sponsored by Bud Ice. Yeah. Because it was dry and humor, I guess. I don't know. By the way, Jake, this is for you. That's his favorite sound effect. Which one of those children is your, where is that located? Which state? The crying baby? Yeah. Is that yours? Is that yours? Yeah. It's a state of oblivion right there. Exactly right. I don't know why I laugh at that every time. I just do. Something wrong upstairs. I don't know. But I thank you for playing it. That's a good one. I'll come back to it. Now, Eric Feldstein over there in the corner. I know you got a story for us this week. Tell us what's happening in your neighborhood, Eric. Okay. Well, I had one and it turned out to be sad. I thought it was awesome. A guy crawled his way out of a mudslide. An 81-year-old guy, old man, called his way out. But his wife didn't make it. So I didn't want to talk about that story. Okay. Huge downer. That was a downer. Yeah, sorry. I was looking at it. I was like, this is awesome. This is awesome. And then I read his wife didn't make it. That makes me want to crawl into a mudslide. Yeah, sorry. Okay, but here's a better story. I forget I said that. Anyway, moving forward. There is an article done or a study on the states that are most likely to survive an apocalypse. A zombie apocalypse, actually. All right. First of all, I just want to... Well, okay. All right. You go. Go. I want to... Before you announce what state it is, I want people to guess. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Don't worry. I'm not going to... All right. I was, but thank you for stopping me. Yeah, the genius is at Esteli. Esteli, if you're listening, we're giving you a shout out, so give us money. Determine which U.S. states are best prepared for any zombie-related disasters in the near future based on 11 metrics ranging from residents' physical ability to weapons access. And I can tell you some information, but I'll just let everyone guess, or what would the first thing you do in an apocalypse? What are you going to go with, Jake? I'm going to venture the great state of North Dakota, because there are only two people there to begin with, and they both have guns. Who is that? Like, just like a buffalo, and then... It's just a roaming buffalo. Who is it? Tom Daschle? Yeah, a guy with a coonskin cap. Tom Daschle, yeah. Yeah. I love North Dakota. Yeah, that's right. Is that he from North Dakota? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Let's get Matt Sugarmeals. What state do you think it is? I'm going to say Michigan, because they are gun crazy, and they're close to Canada. Okay. So they can just escape right over the lake over to Canada. I saw Bowling for Columbine. Bowling for Columbine, so it's got to be true. Exactly. Yeah. Foxy Sellers, you've been quiet tonight. It's Hawaii. Why is that? Because they just go to one island, and all the zombies stay on one island. The island hop? Is that what they say? Oh, yeah. Or they could just go surfing for a little while, and when they come back, they've eaten each other. That's actually... You know what? Don't ever find us on Kauai. Sadly, that's the best explanation we've had all night. So that's the most plausible one. Ladies. We know zombies' weakness. It's surfing. Hang in 10. You are, by the way, one entity, Tara and Diana. Sharing a mic. Yeah, we're sharing a mic. All right. Then you guys, what state is it going to be? What state do you think it is? I would go with my hometown state, Missouri. Got to be Missouri, because we're all packing. Yes, you can carry guns into the malls. You can carry guns just about anywhere, so we're prepared. You can't carry guns into the mall in Missouri, can't you? There's a sign posted. If Dawn of the Dead teaches us anything, that's one of the apocalypse. That's the same. It's the safest place to hide during a zombie apocalypse. Is that video game where they're in the shopping mall? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, yeah. The movie, Dawn of the Dead. Oh, I was thinking about the video game on Xbox. Oh. Can zombies have guns? Dead, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think they need them. Dead Rising. Oh, whatever, yeah. It's intellectual debate. Right around sarcastic news live. Mike, you want to weigh in? Wait, what about me, the other half? You don't count. I was so excited. I thought you both were. I'm sorry, Diana, Diana, get in here. I'm done. Go. Move on. Go, Mike. Do it live. Do it, Mike. No, all right. No, come on, Diana. I'm over it. No, just kidding. I would say Alaska. Why? I don't know. I think there's just a little bit of crazy over there. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of places to sort of burrow and hide and have access to guns. Putin would be right next door. Yeah, he'd be right next door. He'd take over. He's probably one of the zombies. Yeah. I don't know. I will destroy zombie. And he's wearing no shirt. Yeah. I don't know. I would blend in. They would see me. Completely. Mike, you got to take a stab at this. Texas. Oh, yeah. Don't mess with Texas. Don't mess with Texas. Don't mess with Texas. Well, I don't have a mic. Why not? That's fine. Yeah. You don't need an explanation. Shout Texas. There you go. Don't mess with Texas. There we go. I'm going to say, I'll say Kansas just because I don't believe they have anything other than DUI checkpoints. What is it, Eric? Well, ironically enough. The state that was ranked the most likely to survive, number one. It was Alaska. Oh. I love it. Wow. We almost bypassed her. We're lucky we got your opinion in there. Clairvoyant. What would we have done without you getting the answer right? Guess where California was. Can you imagine if you had actually like skipped me? You know what? You're going to captain the team during the game, which by the way, I should announce during the game, we are going to have a cream pie. That's right. Not from Ginger Lynn. Yeah. I don't want it. I don't want it done. But we will have a cream pie for the loser. They get pied in the face. I'm pumped. I can't wait for this. I'm volunteering myself as a captain for one of the teams. And as I always do, I play for the Boys and Girls Club of Tijuana. So just something I do. Now we have just a, we have a few, we have a few more minutes here until we get Brody. So tonight our guest, I should have announced this earlier. I'm all off tonight. Big show. But our guest tonight is Brody Smith. He's a professional Frisbee player and also a Frisbee trickster with 45,000 Twitter followers. He's a professional. He's huge in the social media scene. He's been all over ESPN because of all his trick shots. He actually went to high school with Jake and I. Sure did. At Allen Deeney's High School, home of us and Tim Tebow. Wow. That's right. And I've shaken your hands. Guys, I'm just telling you, we produce Frisbee stars and guys who tell dirty jokes on internet radio. By champions, I meant us, not Tim Tebow. Okay. Yeah. That's right. And Tim Tebow. He's a champion of the Lord though. Always. Always. Always and forever. But I want to get. 2016. I want to get Mike back on here. Let's get you locked and loaded here. Get that guitar next to the mic. That was our instructions from one Ginny Guzman. Yeah, I want him to. Yes. It's so weird when you tell me something on the air and I can't. I'm like, I want to say it. See, you're cutting me off right now. Yes. All right. All right. So Mike Stockdale, what song is this one, Mike? This is called So Far Down. It's a new song. So Far Down. It's a new song. Check them out on MikeStocksdale.com. So Far Down. Here it is. Yeah. If you like it, you won't be able to find it anywhere because it's new. Go to Mike's house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel empty, but ready to fill Hopeless, but ready to hope And I feel faithless, but wanna believe Dirty, but ready to soak Dirty, but ready to soak Yeah, and I feel sick, but ready to heal Dirty, but ready to doubt And I feel funny, but ready to cry Silent, but ready to shout Silent, but ready to shout But it's a long way up You get back to the ground It's a long way up How did we get so far down? Yeah, and I feel crooked I'm starting to speak Straight, thirsty, and ready to drink I don't feel nothing I didn't before Stupid, but starting to think That it's a long way up To get back to the ground It's a long way up How did we get so far down? So far down It's a long way up Yeah, and I feel savage, but ready to tame Civil, but ready to kill And I feel used and abused and confused Thoughtful, but ready to thrill Thoughtful, but ready to thrill Cause it's a long way up To get back to the ground It's a long way up How did we get so far down? It's a long way up It's a long way up To get back to the ground It's a long way up How did we get so far So far down So far down Yeah, so far down Yeah, so far down I've heard them called different things. Not every Monday, but there's always good stuff there every Monday. And I'm there quite a bit. Room 5, Monday nights. It's free. Room 5, Monday nights for free. If you're in L.A., check it out. Mike Stocksdale. Now, before we bring on Brody Smith, who is a stud Frisbee player, plays professional. That's beer. As long as we're clanking around over there, I'll take one. It's our one year. It's a little loose tonight. But, yeah, so we've got Brody coming on. He is a professional Frisbee player, also a trickster, who has millions of hits on YouTube. He's been on ESPN, all that. So we're looking forward to that. But I promised this early on in the show. This is a mainstay. It's a mainstay segment of our show. Eric Feldstein over there, he joined us, I don't know, a couple months ago or so. Glad to have him. He's a great contributor, hard worker, a lot of good stuff. But before he ever made it out to our first show, he was going to go, but he couldn't do it because he got a little sick. And I don't want to bring. I don't want to preface it too much because I think the voicemail speaks for itself. Here it is right here, the voicemail from Eric Feldstein. He's in trouble with this every single time. Good. I hope it doesn't work. Two buttons. I'm not going to make it tonight. I sent you an email. I hate to flake so early in the game, but I wasn't feeling too good today. I thought I could power through it, but in all honesty, I've been pissing out on my butt. It's past two hours. It's awesome. I think the best part is the for the past two hours part. 120 minutes. Yeah. Count the butt. I don't know how to make it, man. I've been pissing out on my butt. Violent diarrhea. We've never met him, and we received that. I know. And he's a good sport because it was actually Matt Sugar. Matt didn't know Eric, but he said, you know what? You should play that on air. And I said, first of all, I said, Matt, you're an asshole. And he's like, yep. And then Eric was, he's like, yeah, man, go for it. You know? So, you know, big round of applause for Eric for just being a good sport. Thanks, guys. Let's give a round of applause to his butt. You know, find the inspiration. Speaking of which, the dog's licking herself right now. I'm pretty sure she's talking. I love the atmosphere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had Mike Stockstill playing an awesome song. That was really, really, really good. And then I'm just looking over, and this dog is just licking herself like there's no tomorrow. That's a compliment. That's quick. Far down. That's what she does. Far down. Well, I want to take this moment to promote ourselves for just a second here. You can check out sarcasticnewslive.com. We've got new content going up there every day. We've also got on Twitter, SNLive1, at SNLive1 as well. You can check us on Twitter. And, yeah, every Wednesday night, we're pretty much here. Almost every Wednesday, we're live in studio here at the Skid Row Studios. And I want to thank Jeremy for allowing us for a year now to, for, for... You know, very low overhead to put this thing on. And, and also for Jenny in the back for, you know, we've had a lot of, you guys know this, we've had a lot of different sound op board people. And they're all, they've all been great. I think you remember our first one ever. What was his? Nick. Nick. Nick. Yeah. Nick, Nick was a, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. May he rest in peace. Yeah. Yeah, I know, right? I was like, you okay? In the middle of his legs. And then Mindy, remember Mindy, she was famous for her... Well, who could forget Mindy? Yeah. I mean, if you're a fan of the show, you know about her, what's it called? Her... Shredding beef curtains. Shredding beef, yeah. And, and apparently something that's highly illegal at the, the Little Caesars. He did. But Jenny Guzman, a woman above women. Is, we got a caller now? All right. I think that's our guest. He is an ultimate... You have a call. Is that the sound? It's a movie phone. Oh, our call has arrived. That is professional ultimate Frisbee. He's a Frisbee player and trickster. Ultimate Frisbee trickster. That's what it says on his Twitter profile, which has 45,000 followers. This guy's huge. Give it up, everybody, to Brody Smith. Everybody in the house tonight. Boy, you got everything but theme music for him. I know. Hold on. We got, we got, we got theme music for you too, Brody. I hope you have diabetes. I don't think you do, though. You're in pretty good shape. First of all, thanks for being our guest. And I want to know... Well, I was going to ask this a while back, but I'm just going to throw it out there. I didn't know ultimate Frisbee was a real sport. So the way you made it to be a professional one is more than impressive to me. But no, in all seriousness, you and I used to play back in high school. And tell us a little bit about ultimate Frisbee in general and how it's grown into this. I mean, now it is a professional sport. Now people can make a living doing it. Tell us a little bit about that. Yeah. So basically, the sport has been around for a while. And like you know, it was very, you know, intramural. People paying a lot of money to travel around and to play. And basically, over the last three years or so, a professional ultimate league started. And over the first year, it was, I guess, good enough that some other people were like, hey, I want to start our own pro league, which is kind of weird to have two pro leagues kind of in a sport that really doesn't have... I don't have yet the audience for two pro leagues. Maybe not even the audience for one. But anyways, it's nice that, you know, there's a lot of people that have a lot of money that think this is something that could potentially be, you know, a decent professional sport. And if that means more people can kind of play ultimate Frisbee and make a living doing that, then I think that's kind of a cool thing. Definitely. Well, and I like... Because that's what I shoot for is to be decent. No, I'm just... Just kidding. Still working on that. Keep aiming high, Justin. Okay. Yeah. No, no. It is pretty impressive that it's gotten to that level. And I can't imagine that they do too much drug testing in ultimate Frisbee. But... No, I mean, if you want steroids, I mean, I guess you could get away with it. Beaver tranquilizers. I wouldn't advise you to do that. Has Ricky Williams decided to be an ultimate Frisbee player yet? You know what? I am waiting for the first, like, Terrell Owens or Chad Ochocinco to try out. They would definitely have a spot on my team. So if any of those guys are listening, feel free to come on out and play with me because that would be a lot of fun. Well, Brody, I can assure you they are not listening. Zero percent. I hope they're not. I really hope not. I'm from Santa Fe Springs. Just like walks on. They're doing Carl's Jr. commercials, I think. That's what they're doing. Why are you in Beverly Hills? You're in Beverly Hills, you told me. And I was like, oh, my God. Yeah. I didn't get you in the studio, but unfortunately we couldn't make it happen. Yeah. So I flew in today. I'm doing a TV shoot over the next two days for this European, whether it's British, TV show. So I'm in L.A. for two days filming that. You're doing a TV show? Dude. Wait, you're filming it here, but it's a British TV show? Yeah. Texas. Did I follow that right? Yeah. Yeah. It's a British TV show, but basically what they do is they kind of just go all around the world. It's called, I don't know how much information I'm allowed to give out, but whatever. It's called Superhumans, and basically they kind of travel around the world and find crazy people and just film them doing crazy stuff. Sounds like a tough life you have. I told them Chicago. I was like, I'm not filming anything in Chicago. Because apparently Chicago doesn't realize that it's spring yet. Yeah. So it's pretty cold up there. So L.A. is a nice spot to do some outside filming. So was Johnny Knoxville taken? Like, how did you get this job? I mean, it's like crazy people doing crazy things. So was he just, and you have demands, too. You're like, I don't do Chicago. Yeah. Do you have a rider? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They just sent an email into us. And, you know. We just worked out the deal or whatever and, you know, had time to come out here and film a little bit. I'll be the first one to say I am extremely jealous of you and your lifestyle right now. It sounds like you have a pretty good time doing it. But do you, let me ask you, first of all, you know, you got into, one third of all, I guess, but you got into this because you started making YouTube videos and it just sort of blew up. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. Basically, I graduated college. Started. Teaching. And then while I was teaching, I kind of, you know, you know, late night, just on the Internet, looking at YouTube videos, nothing weird about that. And was searching ultimate Frisbee and was like, there's two videos that kept popping up. It was either this guy that like had this big ponytail and just, you know, like a tie tie shirt or something. And then the other one was this other dude that was just completely saying all the wrong things. And so I was like, you know what? I'm going to start making tutorial videos on what I do to throw the Frisbee. And, you know, if that helps other people. Those two guys, by the way, those two guys were my uncles. Tom and Jerry, ironically enough. Yeah, there you go. So basically, I just started making tutorial videos. And then one thing led to another. And we were like, let's try to see if we can get more people watching these things. And so they're like, make a trick shot video. So I did that. And it hit like 400,000 views. And the first week. So I was like, wow. OK, maybe maybe we have something here. That's awesome. That's awesome. And I don't know who's blowing into their beer bottle right now, but I think I heard that. That's Brody. That's awesome, man. That's that's incredible. And now it's just continued to roll for you. And then the last thing I want to ask you, I mean, you got on the ESPN, right? And how did that happen exactly? So it's interesting. I actually have a decent relationship with some of the people over at ESPN. So I've gotten on to multiple, you know, their, you know, PTI, Sports Nation. What's that really good one with Woody Page? What was that one called? Around the Horn. Around the Horn. Yeah. Like all those kind of like off sports center type of shows. I've gone on those several times for just doing crazy stuff. But ESPN top 10 plays. I've got on that, I think, four times. Wow. And one of which was the top, the number one play. And that was the number one play for seven weeks, which was kind of cool. Wow. But I think the coolest thing is, is seeing Ultimate Frisbee actually get on there. So, you know, I first kind of did this, you know, a lot of Ultimate Frisbee players and stuff came out saying this isn't doing anything for the sport. This is like making it more of a joke, all this stuff. And it's cool now to see, like, kind of. Getting people just interested and okay with seeing a Frisbee. Yeah. And now all of a sudden, you know, we're getting on top 10 plays, you know, seven or eight weeks out of the year for actual Ultimate Frisbee, which, I mean, I think we had one or two plays in the last like 10 years prior. So. That's amazing. It's really cool to see a lot more Ultimate Frisbee actually make it onto SportsCenter. That's amazing. Well, I've been on Outside the Line several times myself. Yeah. Yeah. That and the Catch a Predator. Yeah. Oh, God. I was the one they were. I was the kid. Hold on a second. I'm just getting out of the shower. Hold on. I'll be right there. 13 slash M slash FL slash bottle of lube on my table. Anyway. Well, Brody, thank you so much. We're out of time. Thank you so much for calling in and joining us. Yeah, of course. And people can catch you on Twitter at BrodySmith21, right? Yeah, perfect. And all of your YouTube. He doesn't even need to follow me at this point. But we love it, man. Thanks for calling in. We'll get you back on the show sometime if you want to. Yeah, of course. Thanks for having me, guys. Have a great night. Thanks a lot. That's Brody Smith, Ultimate Frisbee Player and Trick Shot extraordinaire. We are... That's right. That's right. Just one single clap. So this is a little time management right now. We got about eight minutes, 20 seconds left. I want to get the game in and I want to get Mike on. So we're going to have to maybe do the game about a quick five minutes here. And then we'll get Mike to play us out. Does that sound good? That sounds perfect. All right. So this is called... And I think we have the sound effect for this. This is called the Snake Game. And again, sweeping the nation by storm. Here it is, the Snake Game sound effect. That's so random. I was expecting something totally different. Is this like an old Atari? That was good. We just completed level two. Yeah, exactly. Tecmo Bowl, like 1988. Well, I wanted them to play something of when I was born. And so we did that. So just real quick before we start. Okay. Somebody's got to get the cream pies ready in all seriousness. And then we have to decide who we're playing for tonight. Hold on. Let's get Mike. Because we got Mike up at the end here. So can we get... Now we've got the cream pie stuff. So Mike will be getting the cream pie stuff right in the back with Ginger Lynn. And... They don't call him Cream Pie Mike for nothing. There you go. There you go. He's going to be getting the cream pies. He didn't know what he was going to get himself into tonight. Shake him up. We got two whipped cream. Okay. The Snake... I don't even think you need to. Let's set some comments. Let's set some context here and let's do it to it. Yeah. Just do the whippets instead. These are just quotes. Yes. Yes. These are quotes from the week in news. I'm going to give you two choices. You guys have to pick which one actually said the quote. Is this the teams right here? These two versus... Yeah. Let's do sides here. I'll represent my squad. Unless you want to... Our squad. Yeah. Our squad. Yeah. Yeah. Mike, you get to play. You get to play. You're on their squad. You're on Eric. You get to play. You get to play. You get to play. You get to play. You get to play. You get to play. You get to play. Matt and John Stamos. I won last time I was here. Oh, you did? All right. That's good. We need that. Oh, Joe. I think he still has the pair of old underwear that you were getting. Yes. The boxers. Oh, do you? Yeah. Oh. The one with the skid marks. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, Jake, take it away. Set a little context. Yeah. We're going to run through this. We got four quotes. Quote number one. My family took a backseat for 20 years. Was that A, Brett Favre talking about his football career, or B, Chuck Norris talking about his acting career? I hope it's not Chuck. No. It's a family man. No. Guys, what do you think it is? What do you think it is? Ladies? Ooh. Ladies, you think Fox? That means in you. I think it's Brett Favre. I think Brett Favre. Yeah. Brett Favre. All right. We'll go Brett Favre. He's a backseat kind of guy. Yeah. It's got to be Brett Favre. Chuck Norris has been famous for way more than 20 years. You guys want to ride? You guys want to ride? We're going to ride our coattails. Okay. Mike doesn't get an opinion, but go ahead. Okay. Answer, Brett Favre. Hey. Started you out with an easy one. That's a good one. Yeah. Started you out with an easy one. Mike, it was a consensus opinion, so I'm sorry. Quote number two. I look forward to staying out of trouble. Was this- That could be so many people. These are the most non-introversial. Yeah, yeah. Was this A, Justin Bieber after his police deposition? Or Justin Cross after his police deposition? The latter. B, that's a trick question. Chris Brown after his stint in rehab. Oh, dear God. My, my. Okay. All right. No, no. We start on that side with the ladies. What's the quote again? I look forward to staying out of trouble. Thank you. You're welcome. Jake was like pissed. He's like, I am not repeating the quote. I think Chris Brown, but what do you think? Yeah, I'm thinking Chris Brown. All right. CB. What do you guys think, Fox? I'm thinking Justin. You think it's Justin Bieber? I was going to go Chris Brown. I was going to go Chris Brown too, but you know. He still wants to get in trouble. Yeah. He's at the age where he's going to get in trouble. I think it's Bieber. I'm going to outweigh it. We'll do Bieber. Because I got to do the pie if we lose. We're all guessing, so. I'll do Bieber. Correct answer, Chris Brown. All right. All right. So I'll be getting pied in the face. All right. Yeah, ladies. Be no thing. Quote number three. His words and actions have hurt countless people. Was that A, a comment on anti-gay pastor Fred Phelps after his death? Or B. A comment on Nick Cannon's brash new alter ego as a white guy named Connor Smallnut. That picture is amazing, by the way. Oh, is that when he does white face or whatever? Yeah. Yeah. You guys, it goes to us. His words and actions have hurt countless people. Number one. Yeah, A. Fred Phelps. Phelps. Phelps. RIP Fred Phelps. Yeah, yeah. Phelps. Okay. No, do not rest in peace, Fred Phelps. What are you doing, Mike? I'm just kidding. All right. All right. Mike's like, yeah, whatever. It was Fred Phelps. All right. You got a two to one lead heading into the last question. But the last question is worth two because you're going to get four choices on this one. Oh. Right? Hey, guys. Guys. It's a real showstopper. I hope you have diabetes. All right. Real showstopper here. Number four. Last quote of the night. This was a tweet from a very famous lady this week. The tweet is, I'm an obsessive compulsive bather. Who tweeted this? Gwyneth Paltrow. Ginger Lynn. Yeah. Miley Cyrus. Definitely not Ginger Lynn. Was that A, Venus Williams? B, Miley Cyrus? C, Shakira? Or D, Sarah Palin? Well, they already said their answer. And I knew it before you even gave us the multiple choice. And that is why we don't shout out answers. Yeah, that's why we don't shout out answers. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. It's okay. We got a new captain, Diana. Oh. Well, wait. We have to guess the same thing that they do or else we'll lose. Otherwise, we'll die. Don't be all mathematical. Why is he doing voodoo magic on you guys? You didn't think this through. Just take a chance. All right. Everyone's looking at me. This is a win-win situation here. I'm looking at you. Because if you just say the same thing, I get to throw a pie in Justin Cross's face. All right. I just want to announce this. Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus. Obsessive compulsive bather. I'm good. Yeah. You're really good, Diana. You're really fucking awesome over there. I want to make sure this is on camera, too. There are two pies, though. There are two pies. So, one for your face and one for the crotch? Or how are we going about this? It's true cream pie. Well, how about this? Let's do this. Let's get Mike. Let's get him. He's going to play us out real quick with one song. Perfect. We've got two minutes left. Is this cream pie music? No pressure. No. I'm going to actually ... I think the best way to do the pie is for me to actually dive into it so we don't make a mess. It's debatable. The dog has some ... Well, the dog has white stuff. It's a white stuff. There's white stuff going everywhere either way. That's what she said. Yay. The dog will not be ... The dog has not gone to the bathroom anywhere, so we're in good shape there. So, we'll keep it clean. I'll just go right ... So, I'm going to hold the pie directly under you and you can just dip. It's going to be the most pleasant, polite ... Got it. It'll be like one of your facials, Justin. I'm really sorry. You're getting pied. That's okay. All right. Wait. Let me get this on camera. No. I'm kind of eyes on you. Am I just playing? What song do you want to play? Go out. You want me to dip during the song? Yes. All right. I'm going to change the song that I was going to play then. This one's called A Shame to Feel This Good. Okay. Cool? Yeah. Do I just play until you make me stop? That's right. Yeah. I'll let you know. All right. Mike Stocksdale, everybody. Find us out here on Sarcastic News Live. One year anniversary show. Here we go. I'm going to get cream pie. I've lost all control. I've lost all control. I've lost all control. I've lost all control. I've lost all control. I've lost all control. I've lost all control. eigenen eigenen But now that my body's taken hold It's sort of easy One, two, three I like it. I like it. Good. That's more white stuff than yours. Oh, my God. This is sponsored by Bukakis. Oh, good, good. Yeah, right. Anybody want to lick it off my face? All right, guys, we're heading out. Sarcastic News Live. Thank you for listening. One year anniversary. Thanks a lot. One year. Mike Stocksdale, everybody. Have a good night. We'll see you next Wednesday. All right. See, I've been here for 28 years. eigenen eigenen these wheels tattooed lines beneath our skin no surrender my bobby g