24/7 D/s lifestyle: chores, alone time, parenting

Hello. Why were you laughing at me? You looked so concerned. No, it was because I was messing with the dials, and then we locked eyes from across the table, and it turned into a romantic moment. No, it didn't. Yeah, it did for me. No, because I looked at you like, what is wrong with you, and how is that romantic? Because we locked eyes. So if you lock eyes with a crazy homeless person, then that's a romantic moment? Well, that's just crazy. You see where your logic has just fallen? No, because no. Yeah, fallen. But enough about that. We actually have guests in studio. Oh, hey, wait. This is Intellectual Kink. Yes. I'm Insidious Muse. And I'm Service Slut. But in studio we have with us some fantastic friends. We love these people so much. Very fantastic. One is your mentor. Yes. And that is lovely Julie. Hi. And her master daddy, Sir Redemption. Hi. And they're on. I don't actually have anything prepared for today. They're on to discuss. So, living DS 24-7. Because they do live it 24-7. Yes, we do. In the home and together and stuff. And we're getting there too, actually. Yeah. So it's a very timely episode for us personally. So you're the one who got her on the show. So what you got? I didn't realize this. Okay. It was negotiated by the two S types. All right. So, because I have my first question. And what was the hardest part about getting into that 24-7 groove? Or when did you even, was it even a thing? Did it just kind of happen? Is this for me or for him? For the both of you. Oh, okay. Go ahead. I think the hardest part for me was in the beginning I was trying to do everything by myself. We had just moved in together and I was trying to, keep the house clean and unpack things and cook and take care of the kids. And I was trying to like do all this stuff. And I refused to ask anybody for help because I was like super slave and I can do this, you know. And so the hardest, I think in the beginning, the hardest thing for me was realizing like, okay, this is going to take a lot of work. It's not all just, you know, kneeling and, you know. That fantasy. And serving coffee all the time. Like it was actually going to be a lot of work. I also moved from kind of a small apartment to a pretty decent sized house and added another child and another adult. And so there was just a lot. So there was that, you know, that transition of just having, not only having all this stuff to do, but somebody making me do it. Because, you know, my old apartment was, you know, kind of a dump. And I didn't take very good care of it because nobody really, you know, was giving a damn, you know. So it was tough for me to, because I came in and I was like, okay, I can do this, you know, like I'm ready. And it was actually very challenging for me to take care of a whole house by myself. And so I had to like stop and ask for help. Like say, you know, I think it was probably what, two weeks, sir. And I like was literally like in a ball, like I can't do it all. I can't keep it all clean. I can't, you know. It was really hard. It was really challenging for me because I really wanted to. And so I had to deal with, you know, the reality of what it was going to be like. And the fact that the reality was not what I thought. It very rarely is. Wasn't all rough sex and beatings, huh? No, sir. One can hope. Right? I'm still waiting for it to all be all about the rough sex and beatings. I mean, when does that start? You're doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong. Maybe you're doing it wrong, sir. You're going to be in trouble later. Yeah. Talk about less rough sex and beatings. I'm right up. Right back on orgasm restriction. She's like, fuck. Julie who? The move, for sure. The move? Yeah. Oh, goodness. Yeah. That's difficult. Yeah. So what did you, other than just rolling up to a ball and crying and being like, I can't do this all. How does it work realistically? Because I think that people have this perception of 24-7 DS. And that is that the S-type does take care of everything. But when you're living in a household together, that's not realistic. So then, you know, what does he do? He's like, shh. You don't want, don't tell her those things. You're going to ruin it for me. Don't pull back the curtain. Yeah, don't. See, the way that it works with us really is that if I need help and I need him to handle certain chores and stuff like that, I need to ask him for help. If I ask him for help, he will help me. If I don't ask him for help, he doesn't. Oh, see, I'm totally different where she doesn't ask for help ever. And I will. Literally just blow, lose my fucking shit. Not literally. In the new definition of literally, I will lose my shit and I will just be like, I have to clean all of this shit. Because I can't handle the mess anymore. And I'll just start cleaning. And then she'll feel like shit. And I'll just be like, and then that's when I will out-sub her. And I'll say, no, no, no. You just sit there. I'll take care of all of this. I've threatened that. Which, oh no, and I'm quite good at it. Yeah, I've threatened that. And you want to make an S-type person feel like smaller than small? Do their job. Do their job. And do it better than them. Or threaten to make them do yours. Nothing will get done, right? Feeling me? Right? Feeling me? Yeah, totally. D-type bonding over here. Fist bump. Yeah, fist bump. God. Wah, wah. Communication. The answer is always communication. Yeah, it really is. Sometimes until you're blue in the face, if that's what it takes. Yeah, it's hard because there are times that I don't want to ask. There are times that I get really indignant about it. Like, okay, well, you don't see that it needs to get done? Like, I have to ask you to help me? I definitely see. Oh, no, no, yeah. I understand, but that's the thing. I'm like, I know he sees it. Like, why can't he just help me? Why do I have to ask? And that's not even a DSMS issue. That's just a living together issue. But the responsibility of taking care of the house is on me, and I know that. And I also know that he will help. And when I ask him, I just have to do that. And a lot of times, if I manage my time correctly, then I can get most of it done. And I don't, you know, the way that I clean when I am good at cleaning, when I go through those phases, I'm really good at it. You know, I try to do it realistically, and I, you know, have a room every night and, you know, go through and stuff like that. And when I can stay on that schedule, I do pretty well. But then one thing. One thing happens, and I get off that schedule, and everything gets fucked up. Yep. And if I can do it that way, you know, then it's good for me, and it's good for him. He sees that I'm, you know, doing it, and, you know, he'll ask, okay, well, you know, what about this mess over here? I'm like, okay, well, that's tomorrow. And he's like, oh, okay. You know, and I'll tell him, like, this is, you know, kind of what my week is going to look like. I'm going to do this tonight and this tomorrow and this the next day. So he knows, like, okay, that mess over there, that's going to sit for a couple of days, but I'm going to get to it. But then if a couple days goes by and I don't get to it, he's like, hey, what about that over there? Like, you know, so. Remember way back two days ago when you said. Right. What the hell. Right. And so then I'm just, of course, like, well, you didn't see it. Like, you know, and I don't say that, but I get frustrated. But I also know that if I don't have time, like, you know, there are times that I'm like, hey, if you, you know, do me a favor and, you know, throw the, you know, take the bedding off the, you know, take the sheets and stuff off the bed and throw them in the washer, you know, and then put them in the dryer. And when I get home, I'll put them back on or, you know, little things like that. And it's the little things that if I can, if I remember to ask him to help me do the little things, they save me the most time, you know. So it's just, it's just a matter of time management and sort of being mindful of what all of my responsibilities are. See, and I always look at it kind of in the opposite way where I feel like the little things help her. So like I wouldn't ask, I wouldn't say, hey, can you take the sheets off your bed so that I can, you know, blah, blah, blah, and I'll put them back on the bed. Like, I don't think about doing that because I feel like, you know, it's her house and she runs her house because it's her house and I'm just there to help. So I don't know if that's like, I mean, do you see that as you, do you see that as like taking away from? Being asked by my ass type to take the sheets off my bed would be like, what? The fuck? But if it were put in the position, mistress, if you can just put the sheets in the washer and the dryer, the thing I hate is putting away. I hate fucking put shit away. I can put shit in the washer and dryer all goddamn day. Don't ask me to fold and put it away. I'm cool with that. Yeah, that's me too. If she, she just said, mistress, if you do that, then tonight I can ensure that everything has clean sheets and then I'm going to do ABCD. And I'd be like, well, that is beneficial to me. So I'm going to say yes and do it. But I need to understand why this is a part of your normal chores. Can you explain to me why you can't complete them? And that is where we have a significant breakdown between you and I, Nancy, is that you have normal chores and stuff happens. Lots of stuff happens. And so then there are weeks where there's one day of service. One day of service will not keep my house clean. Not even fucking close. So it's like, and the challenge that we have is that she doesn't, she doesn't look. I mean, I look at her week with forethought and say, oh my gosh, this week I'm, I have this, this and this on these nights. There's no way. I mean, for example, she's never actually had a conversation with me about how the fact that on Wednesday nights, because we have the show, there will be no service. That has never been a conversation that we've had, but it has been, I know that it is a truism. I'm still waiting for her to have the gumption to say something to me about it. She still hasn't done it. And then there are. So tomorrow you need to have this conversation. And I'm actually giving her a blueprint. And then there, there are other, there are other things where, you know, she has other events that are happening, or let's say we're going to a party. Well, clearly service is not happening that night. I have an expectation that she is going to speak to me about that. I'm not an unreasonable person. I'm not going to be like, we'll stay home. And when it's done, come and join me at the party. I could do that. Yeah, totally. Maybe I will one of these days, but for right now, until, you know, if the service is really bad, then I'll be like, yeah, stay home, clean, everything on your hands and knees, corners, toothbrush, get that shit done. But you know, like weeks ago, there was promises made, promises made, not fulfilled promises. Just saying. So, I mean, but that's the thing. If that's the relationship between you and, and red, then that's cool that we have a different relationship. And I think for me, when people look at, at 24 seven, I mean, obviously we're just fucking figuring this shit out. It's different for everybody. Just like everybody's relationship is different. You know, what, one of the, one of the things when, when I was still in the military, one of the things they focused on was the leadership traits and principles. They talk about knowing your people and utilizing them accordingly. Julie has a hard time asking for help. So I have structured things in a way in which if she doesn't do what she's supposed to, it makes it harder on her, not me. And that's, that's why I do that that way. But it also, it forces that communication because a lot of times she just doesn't, she doesn't want to communicate. She wants to take care of it herself because that shouldn't be Sir's problem. Why is that? Um, I guess it's just, that's what I feel the expectation is. Is that his expectation? Or is that your expectation? I think that it is. I would, I would say that it's, that, that is his expectation. He's right here. You could probably ask him. Well, the way I'll do it is, is a lot of times I'll say, well, there's no reason that you can't have gotten this done, but if you need help, you need help. And my hands ain't broke so I can help. And I don't know if you recall the coffee. Do you remember the munch and the coffee? Yes. Yeah. So I was out of coffee and we were having this submissive munch in the garage. And, and I thought to myself, well, everyone's very engaged and I'm kind of not that into what's going on. So I'm just going to go ahead and get up and get myself some coffee. So I stood up and I said, does anybody else want coffee? And the only person that needed coffee was me. No, no, no. Sparkles, I believe needed coffee too. And we were like, and I believe, I believe, I believe Sir Camelus also elected to get some coffee as well. But it was, it was silent as the grave in that garage for seconds. Cause I was like, should I get up? Am I, wait, I can, I can do it. Wait. Finally, she was like, I could use some coffee, sir. I was like, okay, give me your cup. How do you want it? I mean, you know, cause well, my hands ain't broke. Right. You know, so that's my policy. That's why we do it that way. I found that it helps if you can get down there with them to do the work occasionally. But that they still understand that if your job is service, it's your responsibility to get it done. When we had more submissives in the house, service was much easier. Yeah, it was. Right. Because they, well, because you know, they, they, we agreed that like we each had like zones of the house. So one of the girls would, you know, she would do the floors and the other one would do the bathrooms and, you know, it was sort of everybody's job to make sure that the other one would do the house. And so the office was cleaned up. And so it was done, you know, weekly. And the house hasn't been clean since they've left. Not like super clean, you know, like you had said that one day of service isn't going to keep your house clean. I don't know that seven days of service is going to keep our house clean because we have a lot of children and, and they're messy and, and I don't put things away. And, you know, same, you know, so, I mean, I think I could probably, you know, I think I could probably really make an effort to clean a room every day consistently. And there's still, there's still going to be a mess somewhere. So, um, just a part of service, cause that's obviously a very practical component of, of living together with the DS. Uh, so you, you know, you come home and every night it's a, it's a flogging and then it's, it's a, it's a, it's a face fucking. And then that's, that's every night. Right. And when you live together, right. In my dreams. No. In my dreams. That's the way it is. But I think that that's the perception. Yeah, sure. The perception is you're living together and that's what every, every day is. It's kind of like when you get married, you know, no, it's not having sex every day. It ain't happening. No. You put the, you put the penny in the jar every time you have sex, your first year of marriage and you take one out every time you have sex after that and the jar will never empty. That's the premise. Nope. Yeah. Not so much. So then both of you individually, how do you reconcile that? I mean, is it just life? It just happens or? Well, it's, it's different. We, Julie and I had to talk about this and we were, it was sort of became the, the law of supply and demand. You know, and when, when you're not 24 seven with somebody and you're not living together, when you see them, your time is scheduled. So that time's blocked out for nothing else, but to spend time with that person. Floggings and sex. Flogging, sex, choking, whatever it is that floats your boat. So, you know, when you get, when you're, that time isn't downtime for those two people or those group of people or whatever. So when you move in together, you're exposed to one another's downtime. I think the time is the same to some degree. I don't think there's that much of a drop off genuinely. It's just that you're there more often, you know, you're, you're together more. So you see all of your downtime and just cause she's in the mood. Doesn't mean I'm in the mood just cause I'm in the mood. Doesn't mean she's in the mood, but tough fucking shit. So, right. But that's the thing. He can have sex anytime he wants to. He can have sex with me anytime he wants to. He can have sex with me right here if he wanted to. You know, we have video. Right. Our viewers would like that actually. I can't, I can't, you know, I can't be like, Hey sir, you know, you want to fuck? I mean, I do it all the time, but he usually says no. But the thing for him is that, you know, he's got it in supply cause he can have it anytime he wants to. He's like, well, I don't need to have sex right now. I can have sex in like 20 minutes if I want to, or 25 or, you know, whatever. So for him, it's, it's kind of like it's, it's, there's no urgency to it. Um, you know, it's not like we're only seeing each other twice a week or three times a week like we used to. Um, you know, because when we used to see each other two or three times a week, I was getting laid two or three times a week, you know, but, um, but now that, you know, we see each other every night, we see each other, you know, it's not, there isn't that urgency. The supply is there. So the demand is low. And you share a bed? Yes. Okay. Yes. I've asked for my own room. Um, but I can't have it. Why would you ask for your own room? Um, honestly, just because he stays up later than I do, you know, then you kind of do have your own room. Kind of. Yeah. Except for he comes in at like two o'clock in the morning and then he wakes me up and he's going to come into your room. And because I can't, exactly. And because I get up at four 30 in the morning and I can't turn any lights on. So I've, you know, gone to work and, you know, I've like, I've gone to work with like my shirt inside out and, you know, cause I have to. I distinctly remember the phrase was only you can prevent dominant blindness. So, and it's not like I would use it all the time, but it would be nice. I think it'd be nice sometimes to have, to have my own space. That brings me to my next question. So there's more questions. Yeah. There's a wealth of questions. Um, so bad. We can't contact you later to ask more questions. Right. I think this is an important one. I'm all smoking. It's okay. I like it. I'll deal with it. Um, so before you moved in with each other, you obviously each had your alone time. Now there is not so much alone time. Um, no, there's still alone time. There's alone time. I make sure that there's alone time. Yeah. No, I mean, he has, you know, he, he, he does what he does and I do what I do. You know, um, I spend a lot of my time at home working. Um, but, and he doesn't spend a lot of time like in the bedroom, like, um, you know, just watching TV or whatever. He tends to be more at the computer. So he can be in the office and I'll be in the bedroom or I'll be, you know, with the kids or whatever. So we find ways to, to, to have alone time. Um, as long as I don't designate, I am having alone time. I can have as much alone time as I want. But if I tell him like, I want to be alone right now, like, that's not, that's not going to happen. I'm not going to fly. Cause then he's going to be like, why, why do you want to be alone? What's, what's going on? What's going on? Let's sit and talk. Let's spend some time together. Then she's telling me that there's time that I'm not allowed to have. And that's just bullshit. I feel you. Okay. But I, I tend to be very solitary in a lot of ways. I can be alone for very long periods of time and be okay with that. I'm with you. Yeah. I like that. Put me, put me away from people. I'm, I'm cool with that. Uh, but, but so I've had to learn to adjust. Some to back again, to having people around all the time, which is not my normal state at all. What? Nothing. So then, you know, how guys, how do you guys have alone time? I mean, there's, so, um, so I just, you know, sometimes I'll send her upstairs. I'll be, you know, playing on the Xbox or whatever. Oh my God. I'll just send her. I will never forget. I stayed home sick. I was like really, really sick. And, oh my God, it was terribly sick. And so I remember like I slept in just a little bit and I could hear her downstairs and, you know, getting the kids to school and all that. And so I heard her come back. And so I was like, oh, cool. I'll go downstairs and I'll just veg on the couch and, you know, watch TV. I'll watch her play video games, whatever. And, me coming downstairs was like such an affront. Oh my God. It was, it was violating my alone time. Oh, that's, that's my only alone time. Oh my God. I was terrified. I sent, why don't you just go back upstairs? Go away, Katie, you're bothering me. Like you're sick. You can veg on the couch in my room, not here next to me. Let me, let me at least pretend I'm alone in the house. Let me just pretend it. Yeah. Just a little bit. But for the most part, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I, I don't really, I get alone time when I'm at work. Yeah. Well, and this is actually something we've been working on for the last few weeks, trying to figure out a space, carving out a space that is hers in my home. Other than, I've already kicked her off my bed because I like sleeping alone. I just really like sleeping alone. But my couch is very comfortable that she sleeps on regardless. She's like, maybe I can earn sleeping on the bed. And I was like, oh, it can't be hot because I just don't like sleeping with people in my bed. Anyway. So the point that we're trying to come up with is a little subby space for her. So I have a fairly sizable walk-in closet. And the idea is that we maybe take, you know, a good like third of it. We put on like a doggy bed and like a little like cute lamp and she'd have coloring books and stuff like that. So she can go in there and chill and have her little subby space. And then my question is for you, would that qualify as your alone time? I don't know because it hasn't happened. So conceptually, do you think it would qualify as your alone time? Well, yeah, absolutely. It's like a bubble within a bubble. So like, I'm totally okay with that. Okay. So like a sub cave? Yeah. Kind of like instead of a man cave, a sub cave. Which to me, I mean, I think that that's kind of the best of both worlds for me. I mean, as a D type, I know that she's safe. I know that she's happy. I know that she's content. She gets her alone. I get my alone time. I get my alone time. It's all good. Plus, if you need more, you can always block the door somehow. Well, there's that, but you know, unless she has depends on, there's a restroom issue, which, you know, she pees her pants anyway, so it's okay. Sounds like a her problem. Oh, you're so cuddly, sir. No, I don't, I mean, I guess I never really thought too much about alone time, simply because I don't usually need a lot of it. I don't, you know, I, I, he and I do actually pretty well, um, being quiet in the same space, you know, um, our, in the office, our, uh, computers are, we have our backs to each other. So our computers face opposite walls and we'll, uh, like on the weekends and stuff, if I'm working, we'll be in there all day long and just talking like, Hey, do you want something to eat or can I get you something to drink, sir? But really not, you know, we'll know the other person's there. Not really interacting. Right. Not, not really interacting. Sometimes. Not chit chatting. Yeah. Sometimes we'll, you know, he'll reach over and, you know, we'll sort of kiss in the middle and then go back to our thing. And so we do really well with sort of just being in the same space, but not interacting a lot. I would always rather be where he is than not. And that's the same with Nancy. She would always rather be where I am. And I am one of those people that alone is alone. It's not like I'm pretending I'm alone. Like I'm legitimately, I'm completely alone. Like when there's somebody else in the house, I know it. And it's just, it's not the same. The sound in the house is different. Yes. You can, you can actually hear it's just even if they're not doing anything, they can be sleeping. Yes. It's rare that I'm in my house completely alone. Yes. And when I am, I always feel like I have to do something bad. That's kind of hot. You know what I mean? Like, like nobody's in the house. I should jerk off or something like masturbate on sir's chair. Right? No, just because it's so rare that I'm in the house all by myself without, you know, I mean without him there without the kids there. Yep. It's, it's a rare thing before like because the, my kids stay at my parents house a couple days a week, which is really nice. And so if he's gone, I'll, you know, come home and there's like nobody there. I'm like, Ooh, I need to find something transgressive. What do I do? Right, you know, and of course usually what I end up doing is like, you know, cleaning something and taking a nap, you know, but I'm telling you, Taking a nap. Taking a nap when nobody's home is fantastic. It's nice because you don't have to worry about somebody waking you up unexpectedly. And I will sleep for hours. Me too. Those 20 minute naps are bullshit. Fuck that shit. I have kind of an uncomfortable question. I think that there's this perception also that when you move in with each other and you start doing 24 7 that somehow your finances become combined. That you, that it's like one of those things. And I don't, I mean, personally, I don't think that's necessarily the case. I think, you know, living underneath the same roof doesn't equate. Hey, let's have a joint checking account. Right? I have seen all colors of the rainbow in that regard. So that's something that's like individually based. Yeah, it depends. I mean, he and I, all her money is my money. All the money is my money. All of it. Everything, the stuff too. Everything's mine. She's mine. All of it. Right. Not just her vagina. All of it. So, but we, we share money basically. That's, that's sort of how we do that. And, um, and, and to me, that's fine. I don't know. I don't really have a problem with that. You know, um, it's, it's sometimes it's hard because I don't get to decide how I spend my money, you know? Um, and so that's, uh, that can be kind of frustrating for me. Um, but it would be, it would be worse if he was like out just like randomly spending lots of cash. Then I would be like, hey, you know, I have to ask you before I buy a new pair of fucking shoes and you're out buying, you know, whatever. But the reality is, is I'm a huge cheapskate. He is. Oh my God. Yeah. No. That's, I mean, that's not a bad thing. Yeah. You know? So, I mean, I'll, you know, if I'm going to go out and spend money, I'll be like, hey, sorry about it. You know, I bought a pair of shoes because my other ones had like a huge hole and I spilled a cup of coffee. Like I, like two weeks ago, I literally spilled a cup of coffee into the hole in my shoe. I mean, yeah. So it was hot and like, my sock was all wet and it was gross. So I literally like went back in the house, got my flip flops and went to Target, bought a new pair of shoes and like put them on. And I told him later, like I bought a new pair of shoes because this is why. And it's fine. I mean, if they're practical, you know, but I'm not, I don't spend money on a lot of like crazy shit. Like I don't spend a lot of money on like purses and, you know, fancy shoes that I'm never going to wear. The nails, the nails is probably, that's the big. Yes, but I do this for you, sir. Because they're pretty. I do this to be attractive to you and because you like it when I scratch your back. You don't have to justify it anymore. I proved it long ago. Actually, actually, the funny thing is, is that I had to be convinced to start getting my nails done. Star, who is her and her husband are members of our house and she used to get her nails done all the time. And she was like, come on, you got to get your nails done with me. And I was like, no, it's such a pain in the ass. I have to go every two weeks and blah, blah, blah, blah. And like literally it took them. It took her and him probably like a month to just be like, just go get them done. Just go get them done. And now, now I like getting them done. So well, because like we've, we've played around with that idea. And so, and so I know that when mistress says, hey, we need things for the house, then we need things for the house and that's it. And it's that's everybody. Yes. And I can't send her to just, I can't give her a list. Oh my God. She has like so much anxiety. If I send her to like to Target, hey, these are the things we need the anxiety that she has over picking out toilet paper. Well, I know what kind is she like. Did you like, why did you like this? And I mean, she freaks out. So I'm like, I'll go with you. Clearly don't even though like it's really clear. No, don't give me the suave towel. Give me the Downy. Don't don't give me that Mexican shit. I want the white shit. Just see, but when you, after a few shopping trips with her, you should know or you could write it down in a book or on this really smart phone. You have she's gets this anxiety. It's crazy. Yeah. See like I'll do things like I would buy things and I you know, I tend to buy generic stuff just because it's cheaper, right? Right? No, no, no, it's cost-benefit analysis. Yeah, maybe I should clarify. I'm a cheapskate, but I hate store brand crap. Okay. And so, I came home with like a body wash and he was like, okay, don't ever buy that again. Fuck is this garbage? Okay, acts it is, you know, and I'm all spend like 599 on a bottle of body wash. I'm like, whatever I'll buy there often coupons for these items. I know so and I'll you know, I'll buy the cheap stuff for me and I'm fine with that because I don't for me. It's it's fine. I don't have it. I don't have an issue. There is no shampoo. That's really going to be good from you know, that it doesn't matter how much money. I spend on shampoo for my hair. It's it's still going to look the same. So I'll just buy the cheap stuff and I'm fine with it. But like he likes the you know, and and that's how I learned over time, you know, I'd buy it and he'd be like, okay, I don't like that anymore. This is this is shit. Okay, I won't buy that anymore. I'll buy that. And so after a few times you just start to learn, you know, what kind of toilet paper to buy what kind of deodorant by what kind of stuff? I mean, I don't mean to like throw you under the bus here, but you guys have been together for kind of a long time. It's true. It's true. You know, I mean, I think that might be her sneaky way of getting more time with you. Well, but my my extent how anal that I get my need for control is fed by the fact that okay, she can't handle it. Fine. We'll go and we'll get it because my concern is also well, why would you get that when the other one was on sale? They're both equal to me. You know, I am I am very much less. We're going to get the expensive. Shit and I'm like, no, if you know, if the Cottonelle is on sale, why get the Charmin see I'm saying, you know, this is how I go. Well, no, but if the lavender Downey's on sale get that not the original Downey, you know, I just want the soft stuff. It's got to be soft and fluffy. That's Charmin or or Cottonelle. I get the Charmin. That'd be on that be on that. I don't care. We get the Charmin star and Steven had it at their house. And I was like, oh my God, what kind of toilet paper right? Just I'm sorry. It's the best toilet paper. It is really good. So oh, and you know what the grocery shopping is my alone time. Oh, that is it because I do not like shopping with other people. I don't like going shopping with the kids and every once in a while, like I'll like on our way home tonight. We have to stop off the grocery store to get soda. You have to stop the grocery store to get soda. So and but a lot of times I'd opt to go by myself because I can take my time and I can, you know, talk on the phone or I can take it. I'm one of those people that talks on the phone in the grocery store. I hate myself. Yeah, but that's another place that I get by alone time. She can't I can pick up like 10 things at the grocery store and be gone for like an hour and a half. I'm exactly the exact opposite. I love going by myself. I love it because I don't have to deal with kids and other people and shit like that. But in and out I'll spend $200 in 30 minutes. Bam. I know what I'm getting up up up up up done gone. I'm happy as a clam. It's all good. I want what I'm there to get and then I want out. Yeah, like I said 30 minutes $200 later. I used to go grocery shopping. I like at like 1030 at night, you know, like when the stores be open 24 hours, whatever I'd go really late at night because then there's like really nobody there and I can like walk through and like look at all the new stuff. They have and I know domestic bliss for me. I used to the same. It's weird. Yes, but sometimes it's the only way you can get away damn kids all the time. Not the fucking truth on that though. So how okay? Combining families under one roof. Can't be easy. No, no, because I mean everybody has different sets of rules and standards and whatnot. So I mean that must have been a process in and of itself. It's not done. They're still here. Unfortunately, and I keep telling her if we stop feeding them, they might leave but well, she's not going to ask my job. They're on the grid. I keep telling him, you know, they have social security numbers. Oh shit. Fucked. Now. There is no hole deep enough. I guess people would miss them. That's true. Whatever. I doubt that. So I Julie tends to be a lot softer-handed than I am with disciplinary action as well as follow-up the rules. Whereas I tend to be the hammer of righteous justice. So, So, so I was explaining to him in the car. I'm like, that's why people like me better because I'm nicer. I'm the nice one. My response to that is like fuck that. I don't care. So there there tends to be I try to stay out of the issues for which I recognize I'm not needed. And when I recognize like for example, we have one of them that's kind of a wimp and they're all boys and I'm not turning out. Wimpy males out of my house. So, you know, I'm kind of on him extra. Harden them up. That kind of exactly. Yeah, absolutely. And I just try to keep followed up with making sure they're doing what I've told them. They're supposed to be doing like, you know, like, you know, shut the TV off. Lock the front door. Dad versus mom stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or the mommy daddy game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've got a couple very common. Yeah, it's it's tough. Um, because like I said, he is or like he said, he is a lot. Excuse me. He's a lot harder on the kids than I am and it's uncomfortable for me. In the beginning. It was really uncomfortable for me and I took me a while and a lot of conversations before he said, okay, you need to stop interrupting me when I'm talking to the kids because I would be like, okay, that's enough like, you know, and so there had to be this, this conversation. Between he and I and it's like, you know, if you, if you want me to parent, then you have to let me parent. Um, and of course my thought was okay, but you're doing it wrong. You know, but it was hard. It was hard for me because I take a different approach and one of the things that I learned just as about myself as a parent is that I want my kids to like me and that's not always the best way to be a parent. Um, and so, we come from very different sides on that. And so I think we probably, I would say we probably argue about the kids more than anything else. And there's a quotey. Because it's not really arguing. It's not really. It's just. That should be, we should clarify that. Yeah. More of a discussion. Right. He'll, he'll, he'll approach things in a way that I don't like. Um, and then, you know, once the kids are out of the room, I'll be like, okay, well that was a little inappropriate or that was unnecessary, you know, and we'll just kind of have this back and forth. Um, but that doesn't usually go any farther than that. I'll just kind of let him know, like, I'm not pleased with how you handled that. And he'll be like, okay. Many, many mothers want their children to like them. So they'll come back and spend time. They will. I want my kids to grow up and move out. No, no. Yeah, I do too. That's not, that's not necessarily true. Move out but come back and visit. Right. Yeah, I know that's what I'm saying. But what I don't want is for my kids to be like, oh my God, I can't wait. I can't wait to get out of here and then not come back. In a lot of ways, kids won't leave unless you do that. Unless there is some, I think it depends on how, I mean, this is an entirely different topic, but I think it depends on how you instill certain philosophies to children. You know, if you instill like that where there's always the apron string, then you're right. But if you instill that, hey, like with my kids, I love my kids. I love my kids. And you know what? For the most part, they like me, but sometimes they don't. Like when I'm like taking away things and saying you get nothing and I'm unplugging the internet until your room is clean, that kind of stuff. They don't like me so much for that. But the whole premise is, hey, when you graduate from high school, you're going to go away to college. Away. Someplace not here. And they're like, well, college maybe? No, there's no maybe. You're going. You're going to a university. You're going to get student loans, have fun and leave the house. Right. So it's about really letting them know that that's not, this is. This door closes eventually. There's no option. My oldest son just left the house. It kind of sucks. Just so you know, it kind of sucks. My eldest tells me, you're going to miss me when I'm gone. I got two others. Get out. Right. Well, I mean, you know, that's the thing. When my oldest son left, I mean, you know, I miss him, but you know, kind of over it. Like, it's okay. Like, I don't miss him as much anymore as I did the first few months that he was gone. So do you find that with parenting, it's, for you both, it's more of a partnership and not so DS like he has the last say or. I believe that personally, I believe that Julie represents one half of a philosophy and I represent the other half of a philosophy. And, and that makes up a whole. And if they can get the hard lessons from me and the soft lessons from her that they'll leave prepared. And ready to survive. And that's what's important to me. And, and to answer your question, um, usually, yes, he has the final say when it comes to things. Um, and that is mainly because I have a tendency to, um, not want to, I have a tendency to, to not want to come to the solution that needs to be came to come to, to whatever, you know, so it arrived upon. Right. So if, if, if the situation comes in, it, it really should be that, you know, the kids should get punished or they should have things taken away or that they shouldn't be allowed in the living room or whatever. I don't want to do that, you know, so, um, and, and so I want to agree on it because that's not what I want to do. Um, and so on those situations, then he will do it, um, because it is the logical answer. Um, I just don't want to do it because I don't like the way that it makes me feel. Um, I don't like to be that way. I'll let you know, just like you were talking about the humiliation. It's a muscle. The more you do it, the less that icky feeling will happen. I'm getting better at it. It's true. I'm getting better at it. The more you do it, it's like, you know, I used to be like that. No, I don't want my kids to, and now I do. And I was like, hey, guess what? Teenagers going to be fucking pissed off me because I'm doing this, but I feel nothing. The way it's going. Right. I feel a little, but it's, I don't, I don't. Right. Well, and we had, I mean, we had challenges, not just with my, with my kids, but, but his son as well. And his son is, is younger and, and was quite misogynistic for a four year old. It's amazing. It really is. Yeah. I mean, it was like he would, he would wait for me to come home and he'd be standing in the kitchen and he'd be like, I'm hungry. Wow. My favorite is, excuse me, you know, I'm thirsty, right? Oh, no. Yes. And I remember I looked at him and I went, huh? Yeah. And I turned around, I walked away. Yeah. I about lost, I about lost it when I found out. Yeah. And, and he, I mean, he not, and not just to me, he would do this to like our female friends that would come over. Just come over. Yeah. And I was like, okay, where does that come from? Like, I figured it out after a while. I know, right? Without, without getting into too much detail because of the custody situation, he spends half his time away from me. And it was always the couple of days, right after he came back. And so after a while, I sort of deduced that there were habits that were being formed over there that I'm not necessarily cool with. Yeah. And so day one of exchange day was always snap in period, getting the kid back and used to like, hey, you don't get away with that here. Here you, you show women respect. Here you ask politely. Here you wait to be acknowledged. Your child, these are the adults. That's how this works here. But yeah, that was, and it took a long time to break. Well, kind of in that vein then, and this is something that Nancy struggles with to a degree is like his child's doming you by proxy or having an expectation that you be in service to him. How do you handle that? I told him I don't work for you. I mean, I pretty much said I don't work for you. You're five. Like for real. She said, I said, he's five. Are you going to get your ass kicked by a five-year-old? Yeah. Go out there, put him back in line. And if he argues with you too much, you tell him you're going to come get me and I'll put him back in line. Right. And and we don't really have that issue anymore. Occasionally, you know, but for the most part, it's it took some time, but I think he realized that that wasn't going to work with me because literally, but I looked at it. I looked at him dead in the face and I said, I don't work for you. If you need something and you want me to help you get something, I will help you get something. If you want me to help you with something or you know, you want to spend some time with me. That's great. You ask me, you know, can you do this or can you help me or whatever? But don't order me around like, you know, you're five. Right. And let's try to remember you're five. And it's interesting because you guys kind of have that co-parenting thing. We do not. She has no authority to parent my children whatsoever. Nobody does, but me, my mother doesn't even have the authority to parent my children. Kind of picky about that. But this is Nancy's thing is when the house becomes a nightmare because of children, which is what they do. She's like, I'm like in service to them and I'm thinking no, because if you're not cleaning it up, I'm cleaning it up. So guess what? It's still service to me, but she struggles with that because she can't see beyond. It's one of their stupid fucking messes. There's cereal all over the floor. That kind of. Yeah, but shouldn't they be cleaning? Most of that stuff up on their own? We're working on it. It's a process. It's crazy. That's a me issue. It's a process. I mean, you know, and I'm looking at the time here, but I mean, it's not all hard stuff. You know, I have to turn, I have to turn the show around here. Don't do it 24 hours a day. It's not. There's no floggings and sex. There is floggings and sex. We had sex this morning. Woohoo! We started at what? 430? Yeah. I was like, I gotta go to work, sir. He's like, you can be late. I'm like, yes, I can. I'm like, I don't have to take the kids. My mom's not just taking to school myself. But no, you know, there, there are a lot of the things that I do love about it is that, you know, I do get him in bed every night. You know, he does sleep next to me every night. I actually, as much as I say that I want my own room, I don't sleep very well. Until he comes to bed, you know, and in the middle of the night, I will wake up and reach over. And if he's not there, I'll get up and go into the office and be like, dude, come on, what's up? It's a capital D on that dude, by the way. Sir dude is what that is. You know, and I, but I do, I enjoy, I enjoy, I enjoy seeing him at the end of the day. You know, I enjoy, you know, that, that at the end of the day, I come in and he's there. You know, and then even if, even if the time together is really minimal, I mean, I don't want to say that that's always good, but at least he's there at the end of the day. And there's somebody that is, is there and we have that, we have that time if we need it. You know what I mean? There's little snippets of time. We may not have two hours or an hour and a half or four hours to, you know, sit and talk or fuck or whatever, but we can take 20 minutes here and 20 minutes there. And you know, an hour here and just have these little snippets of time that you don't get when you don't live together. And those, those are, those are good. I mean, like he'll come into the room and just like, I mean, I'll be doing something. He'll come into the room and like throw me over on the bed and like, you know, spank me or whatever and then like leave like, thank you. Okay, you know, so the five-minute scene, right? But it's, you know, but it's, it's, it's nice and, and you know, we can go out to dinner. We can go out to dinner on a whim or, you know, you know, and you know, we'll go out to lunch or whatever on the weekends and stuff like that. Just little things, little, little snippets of time that we get together that, that make it, you know, that make it that, that you don't, like I said, that, that you don't get when you don't live together. Is there any aspect that you would consider of your relationship to be vanilla? Vanilla? Sometimes, you know, to be honest to me, you live together and sometimes that's a mundane component that could be considered vanilla. I'm just curious. Sometimes it, it, sometimes it feels very vanilla. Sometimes it does. I've said several times, sometimes slave just feels like wife. Well, and the reason that I say that is that I think people need to be aware if they're going to engage in something like this, that this fantasy, you know, there's going to be that component, those mundane, that that is going to be a part of it. Not all of it, but a part of it. So, you know, if you set these expectations up for, you know, floggings and sex every night, then you're going to be disappointed. Right. Yeah, great. I think it depends. I mean, I think that there, there probably are some 24-7 couples that have that dynamic all the time. You know, that, that when the master comes home, the slave is on her knees in the position holding up a cup of coffee and, you know, I don't think they have kids. Right. I think they may have won the lottery as well. You know, right. Because nobody has to work in that scenario. Right. You know, because I work, you know, I work. And you get home and you're tired. Right. I work two full-time jobs and there's, you know, three, four, sometimes five kids in my house. So, you can't do that. We have to act like normal people. You know, we have to act like a normal couple, you know, during most of the hours of the day. Because, I mean, even when he's in the bedroom and he's spanking me, one of my kids will come out of the room because they want, they're like, what the hell is that? You know, they hear. When they're knocking on the door, mom, can I have some juice? You know. It's in the fridge. Right. You know, but they hear stuff, you know, they hear stuff going on too. So, you can't, you just can't do that all the time. So, there is very much a vanilla aspect to it, especially when you have children. But I'm sure even when you don't, there's got to be days where you just want to sit on the couch and watch a movie. You know, I mean, there's nothing kinky about that unless you're watching a kinky movie. But, no, I mean, just snuggling on the couch unless they're at your feet. Snuggling. Oh, no. We only, we don't do a whole lot of snuggling in general. Because snuggling is, I mean, I could snuggle for like 30 seconds. But do it for a few minutes. I think that's about the minute. That's what it's getting hot. 30 seconds. It's like, oh, right. I'm really uncomfortable. You know, the bodies really aren't designed for this. It's just not ergonomic. Can we just be separate on the couch and pretend that we're snuggling? This is, this is our snuggling. So, he crawls into bed at whatever hour. And I, I mean, I'm waiting for it. Okay. Because I know it's coming. And so, I feel his, his hand on the back of my head. Okay. I plant my feet because he's going to pull. So, then he pulls me back towards him. So, which is why I've planted my feet. So, I'm not getting dragged. And then he'll pull me towards him and put his arms around me. And then we'll cuddle for like, you know, long enough for me to now be awake. And then he's like, okay, so yeah, I'm gonna go to bed. And then, and then we roll over and go off to, I mean, because we, we literally sleep on opposite sides of the bed. Like, yes, you know, as it should be. But yeah, but, but every night I just wait for that hand on the back of my hair to pull me in towards him. That's the snuggling. That's, that's actually. That's sweet. It is sweet, isn't it? It is, right? I think so. People say I'm not cuddly. That is, that's like, it's a, it's a dominant hug. Yes. You know? That's what it is. I'll, I'll take that. You like it when I pull your hair though. Well, I don't, I don't dislike it, but when I'm asleep, it's not, you know, but that's the thing is I, I wake up now, you know, I mean, I, I, you know, I kind of wake up when I hear him coming into the room. And then I, I'm kind of like half there, half waiting for it, you know, but there's some times where I'm like dead asleep. I don't hear him coming into the room and then I'm like, my head's like, huh? Oops, a doodle. Right. And you know, my thought is if he's just going to roll away anyway, like why doesn't he come to my side of the bed? Like you can just come to my side of the bed and cuddle with me there and then roll away. I see no logic to that statement. I neither do I. Why would he go to your side of the bed when he wants to be on his side of the bed? Logistically, I just think that it makes more sense, but I'm, you know, I'm just a slave. What do I know? Exactly. Oh boy. Oh, we're really close to being out of time. That was fast. It does. It always flies. Everything's very quick. Time flies when you're having fun. It's true. Yeah. Any last minute questions you are pressing burning desire like a UTI to get out right now? Choose carefully. Do you, do you have any kind of daily ritual? Um, actually, uh, other than calling and waking him up in the morning and letting him know, like if I'm, you know, when I get to usually, usually I let him know when I get to work, but usually I always let him know when I'm on my way home. But that's, that's the only rituals that we have. We don't have anything else like that. Morning rituals are still kind of a newer concept to me after all these years. I, I haven't really used them for anything until recently. Um, he sleeps in the morning. So I mean, how would you know? I wake up before she does. I don't, I'm not an early person. I'm not either, but I don't have a choice. Oh, I'm still a mother. Yeah. He'll, he'll come to bed and then like my alarm goes off. I'm like, seriously? Oh yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. What about you? What about me? What? I don't know. I don't have time for questions. Oh, but guess what? I have both their numbers. I could text them if I have questions. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. No. What? Who? All right. I'm just talking to you. Jesus. She's so distracted. You're like a fucking puppy. She totally is. I think she can get her fist into it. Right. Exactly. All those hands are fairly. They're too big. They're too big. I don't think they are. All right. So this is Intellectual Kink. And hit me up on anything at Insidious Muse. At Service Slut. At Redemptions Girl. I don't remember. And I don't remember. At Serredemption. And we'll be back. Serredemption. Next week. Have a good one. Bye. Bye.