TV-in-pants, porn glitches, 40-year-old virgin caller

second edition of bad advice the the show where the advice is free and you get exactly what you pay for i'm joined as always by a panel of very very funny comics we have kenneth gus august over there chris z we have got marco asante and vick cohen soon to be joined by our other friend vince royale he's probably lost at the moment but we're hoping he finds his way how's everybody doing tonight you ready to do the show i am ready you think vince is still in some sort of 420 that's that was my uh that was my theory i got news for you vince is in a 420 haze not just that one day of the year he has a one he has a calendar that just has april 20th on it is that what you're telling me his glaucoma is like a city block long can you guys hear me i feel like i can't hear me at all i i hear you everybody i i don't hear him through the headset and i sound a little uh i don't hear you always sound that way yeah i don't hear uh i don't hear the headsets either his mic is not his mic is like a child we give him a fake microphone just oh okay there we go yeah i'm not mechanical i like it better the other way the on switch i like the element of spontaneity let's not even familiarize ourself with the equipment no until we're doing a seat of our pants yeah i'll tell any listeners right now we were all like we got here with about 20 seconds before the show started there has just been horrible traffic in la it's probably another zeta's gang war in the middle of are we still in la or did we cross the border is that what we took side roads to get here so anything's possible is it a secret what's being shot next door that's a pretty big deal can we tell them porn is it no first i i was here on time who are you not saying you're my good friend there's a thing that's marco by the way and he wanted to make sure he remembered all of our names and he made a little chart and he even wrote his name to remind himself. In an era where he's seated in case he gets up and comes back and he's not sure where to go. Right. You also don't get credit for being here early if you're still leaving from last week. Yeah, exactly. I'm hoping that Vic doesn't do this to me. If we turn the list, Marco won't know when to talk. He won't know his name. I'll be calling Chris Marco and I'll be Gus and Drew will be not on the show. You don't want to be Gus. Really? We're going to get rid of the host. All right, so maybe what's being shot next door is not a, it should be a secret. But let's just say it's exciting. If anyone wants to come down, we are in downtown LA and they are shooting the new Star Trek movie right next door. Literally right next door. That's awesome. I know that because I was, they confused me for Chris Pine as I was passing. Wow. That is so not going to happen. We're just, no. Like man, Chris Pine is taken to eating, huh? Just shows though how hot our show is that we're in a location where they'd be shooting Star Trek. Yeah, see, I don't know if that's actually, somebody actually told me that it was on the street and they said it's some kind of secret. So I'm not sure. I'm not the one that, well, I read the script and they're filming the space get out scene. Then they are in the right place. Well, all right, let's get started. Yes. Okay, we went on. They can't find parking for the Enterprise. Neither can I. Enterprise is still stuck in traffic. No, it's good for one hour. It's going to show up and Vince is going to get off. He's going to be like, all right, this is why I was late. They had to leave Scotty and Uhuru. I'm going to write to Spanish in the future. Keep moving every 15 minutes. Okay. Now, just in case you're unfamiliar with bad advice, rambling a little bit, bad advice, we give advice to people that call in or write in with questions. So if you want to call in, you can call live at 1-800-893-9562. You can like us on Facebook. You can submit questions there or just call in, talk to us. No problem, too great or small. Exactly. We will help with anything. We're completely untrained, unqualified, but that doesn't stop us. We also take news stories from around the world, people that I feel can benefit from advice whether they ask for it or not. And we're going to start with just some of those people. All right. Our first story comes from Minnesota. A gentleman by the name of Eric Lee King, 21, lives in Columbia Heights, Minnesota. This man was charged with allegedly trying to leave a store with a 19-inch TV in his pants. Wow. Who hasn't been there? I'm not going to rush to judgment. Really? Did you? At least you didn't come with me. Are you happy to see me? Is that a... Yeah. It's not a full-size TV in your 19-inch. But here's the thing. Now, I'm not sure who needs the advice more, Eric Lee King or the arresting officer. The reason I say that is on December 5th, a police officer said he saw King drop a box of candy in a store parking lot. When the officer called out to King to alert him, he did not respond and the officer then noticed King was walking strangely. Like he had a TV in his pants. Exactly. Yes. Like, you know, yes. No, the officer apparently drove up to King and honked his horn to get his attention, but King still did not respond. Because I guess if you're walking through a parking lot with a 19-inch TV in your pants, you want to appear as nonchalant as possible. Excuse me, sir. Is your dick showing the Nick game right now? My guess is that's the only thing that was 19 inches in his pants. Hey! And it wasn't a white guy. It was a black and white. It wasn't a colored TV. Hey, buddy, you're a rabbit. What ears are I sticking under my pants? The story gets a little better, though. I'm impressed by this story. This is good. Ready? The officer got out of his car to confront King who reached into his pants because apparently he was trying to change the channel. No, no. He wasn't wearing a hoodie. He probably was white then if he wasn't not shot. Yeah. But when he reached into his pants, that prompted the officer to handcuff him. After the king was handcuffed, the officer noticed a large rectangular object in King's pants, which did, in fact, turn out to be the TV because if it didn't, you know, that would be the weirdest-shaped penis. Johnny Squarecock. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. You ready for this part? There were other items in Mr. King's pants. In addition to the TV, the officer also found a remote control, power cords, a bottle of brake fluid, and a bottle of Xanax. He had basically a full Friday night in his pants. He had my Friday night in his pants. Was this MC Hammer, by the way? Who is MC Hammer's pants? Who are these? That's what I'm saying. What kind of pants are you wearing that you can fit all of that? I need a pair of pants that can fit a small living room set. That's what I'm looking for. That's tough. My guess, this is the first time I've heard this story, but I'm guessing that some of that was in his rectum. I'm just going to put that out there. I mean... Are you serious? Yet his rectum wasn't in his pants. That was the strange thing. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say the TV was up his ass, but some of that other stuff, I think the remote was probably up his ass. Sir, can I help you? Yeah, I'm looking for something in a size 44, 40. At what point is he in the store like going, all right, I'm just going to put the TV and the brake fluid in my pants, but I'm going to shove the remote? No one's going to notice that. There's no room. I'm not saying no one's going to notice a guy sticking a TV into his pants, but seriously, that other part. First problem is he did not get the HDMI monster cable. That was the problem. There's no room in the pants for the monster cable. No, no, guys, I'm not, I'm not a, a sneak thief. I don't claim to be, but wouldn't you consider a TV a successful haul? Wouldn't you stop at the TV? Did you, how greedy is that? What I just came home with, did you get me any brake fluid? You think that was the conversation going on? I'm guessing he needed that to get out of the parking lot. He's like, oh man, the last thing I want is for the car to start. I wonder if he started big and then went small or if he started small. You know, I'm really good at this. I'm going for broke. Well, the, I'm guessing the Xanax he walked in with. Like he, I mean, it's a stressful situation. You're planning to put a TV up your ass. You know, and also it's very hard to steal Xanax. Like I think that was probably there to start. He may have had that. The rest was shoplifted. And what store sells those things? And how, and any word on the cop who, who finally was able to notice the 19-year-old? I believe that he was sent over like to airport security. Nice. Can I see the picture? Is there a picture? There is not of that gentleman. If I was a security, security guard, and I, and I saw this happen, I would actually say, you know what? I'm going to let you go. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Cause you, you, you got a pair of balls to try to walk out of here with a TV. If you got a pair of balls. Yeah, exactly. Not big ones because I would have taken up the spare room in the pants. How big is 19 inches? I mean, is that, is that considered a big screen? In your pants it is. Yes. What size is that? Anything that's 19 inches in your pants is considered big. All right, we're moving on. We're moving to Colorado. Ready for this? In the morning, during what was supposed to be an episode of Good Morning America, people in the lovely state of Colorado were treated to not Good Morning America, which was supposed to be on, but they received what was considered alternative programming. It apparently switched between Bible readings, children's shows, and hardcore porn. Yeah. All starring Kirk Cameron. Exactly. Now, that's gotta be weird. You're waking up and you're like going to your kid. It's like, okay, here, go watch TV. Kid's like, mommy, there's something big and purple on the TV. Oh, honey, it's just Barney. Okay. And then she comes to check it out and switches back to the kids' programming. You know, honey, this is not funny. I'm making breakfast. Leave me alone. She walks away again. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Be good masturbating America. Yeah. How long was the porn on for? Was it more than five minutes? They say it went on from between 4.15 a.m. and 7.30. Oh, my God. Somebody got, what kind of porn was that? Well, that's what I think needs advice is the programmer, the station programmer was apparently, they lost their job over this. Do you think? Well, they got promoted. There's been an epidemic of chafing in Colorado. What was the porn exactly? It doesn't say. Because that's important. SpongeBob SquareCock. That was the same guy who tried to steal the TV. The guy with the TV? SpongeBob SquareCock. SpongeBob SquareCock. SpongeBob SquareCock. SpongeBob SquareCock. SpongeBob SquareCock. SpongeBob SquareCock. I just thought that was great. I mean, it would make programming more interesting because seriously, Bible programming is pretty boring. Truth is, but if you intersperse porn and make that part of the story. I wonder if it fit, if it fit the sermon. Here's the parting of the Red Sea. The TV is a terrible influence on our society. Oh, there's an example. It sure is. He's not around. Does it explain how that happened? I mean, was it hackers? Did you say that? I miss it. I go with luck is what I'm going with. It really doesn't say. That's the funny thing. It just says due to a glitch in programming. So are they going to get fined? Did it say anything about that? No. But the porn has to originate from somewhere. Like, I don't, I'm not a technical guy. I never have been, but I don't see that being possible. That it just came out of nowhere. A glitch. That is not true. Yeah. Somebody has to isolate that footage and download it. Well, nowadays there's, it's probably on another satellite channel. There's probably a satellite channel that has porn going at all times. This station probably has different feeds and somehow signals got crossed. Is there, I don't think there's any. This is like a sabotage kind of. Well, back in the day, we used to have to push the two buttons on the remote at the same time to get the porn channel. But I want to, is that possible? I go with that theory. You said hardcore porn. I don't think there's any commercial medium that carries hardcore porn in like, in rotation. Is my computer? Does that qualify? My cell phone. I mean, even if that's stuff I personally think we should be allowed to see porn on TV. So I'm not, you know, I'm sick of. With your child. Well, I mean, if he's mature. He's five, but he's an old five. He can reach the world. I don't. Sure. No, but I think we're too puritanical of a society. I mean, I would say porn, but we should look at our guy running the board. He said, fuck it, he's out of here. We feel bad for our, the guy in our control room. He's extremely hung over today. He's gone. He's out of here. He's seen enough. He has a big hole. He makes it through the hour. Oh, he got back. He's back. I just. Sorry, vomit. Okay, well. Anyways, I'm tired of the puritanical nature of our society, and I think we should have more nudity on TV, not necessarily porn. Well, then you're going to love this next story. Okay. Have you guys heard about the Bengals cheerleader that got in trouble? Nope. Okay, this is another true story. Bengals cheerleader was arrested because she was also apparently a school teacher who had sex with a 16-year-old student. Hmm. Did she say arrested or commended? Well, that's my thing. It's like, how is this a crime? It's abuse. The only abuse here is that she did not teach at my school. Yeah, I got to sleep with a guy named Phil. That didn't help me. It didn't even help my math grades that much. Why is that not considered a form of mentoring? Hey, I would have begged my parents to have me tutored. Are you kidding me? And they show a picture of this woman. My tutor had a mullet. He's hot. Now, I understand people say there's the double standard. If it's a kid, it's a kid. I think he worked there. I still got to go with victimless crime. This kid, if there's a victim and this kid's the victim, it's only because he's like, are you serious? No more stories for my friends? Drew, I totally disagree with you. First of all, it's a known fact, all joking aside, that 16-year-olds who get a, are with an adult that it can create a lot of psychological problems. A lot of psychological problems. She was 26. That barely qualifies her as an adult. He was 16. I was 17. It's the truth. You can look at studies. I wasn't getting laid at that point and I'm completely messed up, so. I don't know if that theory holds all the way through. Psychological. So wait, you're saying, I did have sex at 16 and you're telling me that the difference between this, like, the 16-year-old girl that I had sex with, if she had been 26 and looked like this, I would have been this? You weren't, you had sex with someone your own age. That's different. Drew, was she a sex ed teacher? Read her name so the people at home can maybe Google her. Yeah, you can Google her. She wasn't the only one that got in trouble. You ready for this? She was an English teacher. Her name is Cheryl Jones and her mother was the principal at the school who also got in trouble for tampering with evidence. Oh my God. That's a whole, are you sure this isn't a soap opera? This is fantastic. She was a teacher in the actual school and a Bengal cheerleader. That's why I get confused. She was both. She was a Bengal cheerleader and a teacher, which, look, I commend this woman. I gotta tell you, I'm looking at her picture right now and I would suck this kid's dick. That's how hot she is. What? You just said you would suck this kid's dick. Just to get close to her? The taste of her. Yeah. Really pass this around, guys. You know what, that's upsetting. I will say this. She is hot and I would also let Chris. I would suck that kid's dick. He would watch me. You can't do that. If any listener wants to voice their opinion on Chris doing this, you can reach us at 800-893-9562 or if Cheryl herself would like to call. If that kid was here, I would put him on my shoulders like Rudy and parade him around the streets. I'm telling you, the kid's gonna be damaged for life. This is the, yeah. Yeah, he's never gonna hit anything that good looking again. The worst thing to an elf, he just wins the lottery. He'll really be in the shitter. No, no, that, I'm telling you, what happened there was wrong and that kid's gonna have a lot of issues because, you know, that was a teacher. That was someone of power. I do not agree. Oh, I, I, let's, you can go Google it at home. All of you, two listeners, whatever's listening, I'm telling you. Have you seen, have you seen the picture? Yeah, she's very attractive, irrelevant. Irrelevant? It doesn't matter. It's like 90% relevance right there. No, a 16 year old is not mentally ready and to be abused, that's abuse. Look at Gus across the table. He's not mentally ready now. He's had 40 years to get ready. It doesn't matter. It's sending, everything I have to not eat the microphone. Yeah, it's sending the wrong message. I love that silly presupposition that everybody hits this kind of universal point of maturity at 18. Some people are well into adulthoods and they're still not psychologically balanced. Right, but there's a power. No, but it's not just the age. It's also that this was a teacher. That's a teacher using her power in a very unhealthy way. Awesome way. I think you're assuming a lot. I'm not. What am I assuming? Do we know that she used her power in any way? She's a teacher. I don't think that woman needs to use any power other than her physicality. No, it's... There's no chance he seduced her. He had a 19-inch television in his pants. He was like, hey, show me this show. Write down the names. You want to watch a movie? Check it out. If we were to follow up on this story 10 years from now when we're celebrating our 10th anniversary, mark my words, this kid's going to be damaged. Okay, so you have... You see, I have a different perspective. If we bring that kid to this, to this show 10 years from now, I say he's still smiling. He literally can't stop. You know what? This is also the most press the Bengals have had in a long time. That's the most scoring the team has done in a long time. Well, Vic, then let me ask you this because I have another story about a teacher and this one's here in California. Yes. This is in the Oxnard School District. Her name is Stacy Hallis. She taught science at the Richard B. Haydock Intermediate School. Ms. Hallis, her name is 31. Was her... Her own students found this. She apparently was doing X-rated videos. Yeah, this is the one I knew about. Okay. And they fired this woman. Yeah, that's wrong. The X-rated video is completely unrelated to work in any way, shape, or form. She did it before she was a teacher. Now, I have a couple problems with this. First, clearly this woman is like the smartest chick in porn. She's teaching science class. There's a shortage of science teachers. Yeah. I mean, we're... I mean, we had... There's a shortage of good teachers in general. It's like, if you can... And she looks good. I mean, look at these pictures. This would make... I never liked science, and this would make science class fun. Exactly. And I would be getting straight A's. You see, now you say that, but yet, God forbid, you touched her, then you're gonna turn yourself in. She's a very attractive woman. That doesn't mean that she's abusing the kids. This is a different story. It doesn't mean she is, but it doesn't mean she shouldn't. In my head, she should. Oh, look, he's up on the board. This is fantastic, Jeremy. See, here's where the problem is. If this was back east, I believe, this is terrible to say, but if it was me as a kid, and I would've seen this, I wouldn't have went to the police. I would've went to her first. And blackmailed her? Pulled her to the side and said, listen, every day after school at four o'clock, you're gonna touch Mr. Willie, or I'm reporting you to Mr. Gubenstein, principal. You didn't put a lot of thought in those names, did you? No, I just... I'm gonna have to work on the character development, but outside the... Marco went to the weirdest school ever. No, I went... I didn't actually go in. I just... Mr. Willie was the janitor, by the way. The other thing is... Mr. Gubenstein. Gubenstein is actually his penis, Willie. Mr. Gubenstein. Funny. I got distracted by Gubenstein. No, I... You know what? It's like, I don't think this... I wouldn't think it's right to fire this teacher, and I bet if she gets the school, you're gonna... You're gonna... She might have a really good character. Really? You're gonna make that... Did you see the picture I showed you? She had someone behind her. And in front of her, and on top. Yeah, she's a gorgeous woman. Put that picture back up and leave it. Yeah, dude. I'm here every Sunday. I had no idea we had a porn screen. Are you kidding me? It's fantastic. I've been looking at this shitty Skin Rose Studios logo for two weeks. Come on, Jeremy. Get your ass in gear. Why did they fire her? Did it say? They said she could be a distraction. You think? Oh, yeah. She wasn't a distraction before. But here's the thing. At least the kids are focused. I mean, how many kids just space out and don't pay attention in class? If you can get past the fact that, oh, my God, did you see how great our teacher is at giving head? I mean, now it's time to learn. Can he press play by any chance? You say focus, but have you ever tried to do anything else with porn on in a room? I do everything with porn on in a room. Nothing would get accomplished. Except for one thing. One thing would get accomplished, and then I would take a nap. That's pretty much all that's happening. Guys, can you hear me? No, you got to turn. Did you turn that on? Is this mic on? Are you trying to be on location from the other side of the room? Is that what that is? Yeah, I wanted to kind of bring the viewer into our world and see if I couldn't read the website to them, but I'm having trouble. But you're blind as a motherfucker. So it's dailymail.co.uk news article. Hardcore porn star teacher Stacy-Halas. H-A-L-A-S. Halas. Or you can just go to Smokey Gun. Halas. It's on Smokey Gun. And you got to see this still they use. It's in the middle of her doing that very heavy-handed I'm really enjoying this porn face. You know that ha! Face. Could be gas. Probably. I don't think she I think that they should totally let this woman have her job. I don't think they could they shouldn't legally be allowed to fire her. To be honest, I think she saw it coming. Oh! Thank you. And on that we move on. We move on and yet we it's funny how things can change and things still stay the same. Because this this story also has to do with porn. But this one we're going we're going out of the country for this. Alright? This is an Egyptian man who claims it was his first time ever looking at porn sites on his computer. First time ever. During which he managed to see his wife in 11 different films. He only watched 13 films. Yeah. Well here's the thing. How is it possible you watch 11 films with your wife and it's like that means Egypt must have three porn actresses and his wife is two of them. What's her name? Don't you watch porn because you're sick of looking at your wife? Well if they have that full beekeeper suit on over there then she could be all three of them as far as you know. That's true. How does he know? He's like I recognize her eyes? How can you tell? Well they quoted him he said I found 11 films showing my wife in indecent scenes with her lover. It was the first time I watched a porno film and I did this just out of curiosity. Uh huh. That's a lot of curiosity. That's a lot of curiosity. It's also a it's hard to start the story with a blatant lie. I've never looked at porn before but Do you think she was fucking a camel? Or something like that? There's certain there's certain prefixes that immediately give away your disingenuousness and like one of them is I'm not a racist but Yeah. But I mean okay if you give him the benefit of the doubt though like it was his first time and he how unlucky is he that he just clicks on a porn movie and goes oh my god my wife's in it. I better switch this. Oh my god my wife's in it. Let me try again. What's the problem? Oh my god my wife's in it. So what's the problem? The problem? I am fairly certain from the article that he was thinking his wife wasn't doing that. Wasn't a whore? Wasn't a whore? Wasn't a whore? Wasn't a whore? Wasn't a whore? Wasn't a whore? Wasn't a whore? Turns out my wife's a whore. Yeah. But a well paid whore. But you gotta give her some credit because at least she was nice about it. Because once he brought it up to her you know what her response was? Not only did his wife admit it she said she never really loved him anyway. Oh. He was just there to kill time between the porns is that what he was there for? So he's turning lemons into lemonade. I bet he's a big fat old man. I bet he's a big fat old man and she was just marrying him for his money. Yeah does this article come with a picture of him? It doesn't. Oh jeez. Oh jeez. You alright? Okay. We made that a little It doesn't. It doesn't. You don't have to worry. Drop something. I dropped my mic cube. I got a little worked up I guess. Now is is this Egypt? Is that what you said? Yeah. Is Egypt porn just like the same filth I watch or is Egypt porn different? I don't know. Does a camel toe take on different meaning? It's an actual camel. It's I'm The camels get people toe. I'm wondering if the you know the the bear skin you know Brazilian craze has made it overseas. Those women are hairy on that side of the world. Yeah. I thought it was just the opposite. In Egypt? No. Yeah. I thought they shaved everything. No. It's like a Persian rug with a vagina. It's horrible. It's horrible. Really? Yeah. It's true. You're guessing. I have no idea. It seems hairy. Has anyone slept I see eyebrows going all the way across. I assume it's hairy. Well the Kardashians not that it's Egyptian they're Armenian I believe but they talk about you know being very hairy. Yeah. Kim Kardashian's back has a ponytail I believe. That's pleasant. She goes through like a bottle of conditioner a day. Hey I will tell you you know I've been through the Middle East doing USO tours. Some of those countries are so conservative so tight they consider the movie American Pie to be pornography. He had sex with a pie. Correct. And they will literally search your luggage and if they found that you can get in a lot of trouble. So now is there any chance that she was in 11 pornographic scenes but it was like her in a taxi cab by herself her walking the street without a man. Well that's a good question. If she just exposed her ankle that might be considered porn. Yeah. Yeah. Egypt. Yeah. Depends how hot she is. You know I've actually I have looked at pornography in the past and That I find shocking. In the past five minutes. Anybody who listened to the show last week I think is going no way. And I've done searches under Egyptian porn. Have you? Yeah. What did you find? Not a lot but I mean it's out there. Did you find his wife? I keep finding this woman. No I mean it's basically you know people wearing headscarves and stuff like that. That sounds like like a like a the point you reach just before you start murdering prostitutes. Like you've seen so much pornography. You've seen every genre. You're bored with everything so you just start making stuff up. Egyptian pornography. I've done that. But I'm not going to kill anyone. I've done yeah don't you ever do that? I put in Egyptian Indian porn. You never American Indian porn? No no I I don't divvy up my porn by nationality. I do. You should try that. It's filth. Filth and slightly filthier. It's different. Pakistani porn it's all good. I don't I disagree with that. I don't think there's no part of me that goes Pakistani porn. I like it. I don't feel I know enough geography to enjoy your porn to be honest with you. I like it because it shows that everyone loves to have sex. And I fear it because I just feel like maybe a shower is not involved. Yeah Drew how can I how can I say this without compromising my political career ten years from now but certain parts of the world are better known than others for attractive women. And there goes your career. I'm not sure that President of Pakistan yes. I'm not sure that Pakistan even makes the top 20. I think you can find beautiful women everywhere. That just helped my career. It's true. Okay. We're going to move on. Here we have a fun story. Marvin Washington Jr. was part I can't even say his name. Marvin Washington Jr. was charged with malicious food tampering. Apparently he was Marvin was working in a McDonald's and spat into two people's sweet teas to sweeten them because the customer complained that the sweet tea was not sweet enough. So Marvin spat in it. I'd say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And Vic is probably going to enjoy his tea right now. Honestly he actually looked in his cup just now to make sure he didn't spit in it. When you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup when you eat a cup I would think spitting your tea is like the best case scenario. It's the most healthy thing on the menu. It's the only organic thing in there. And Marco did you check the seating chart before you told Vic that you spit in his cup? I like the headline though. It says cops arrested McDonald's worker who sweetened patrons tea with his own phlegm. That's pleasant. It's a lot of faith in your own phlegm by the way. But okay if you're going to play devil's advocate with this guy? Maybe. Maybe. He did have the best of intentions. I'm thinking he may have just brushed his teeth or gargled with scope and was like just giving it a little bit of freshness. In his defense, he has been diagnosed with extremely high blood sugar. Just ate a thing of Fun Dip? I'm not sure that toothpaste qualifies as sweet, by the way, Drew. You're going to make quite a chef someday, sir. This is the actual real McDonald's employee. Not the ones we see in the commercials. Not the attractive teenagers. I mean, yeah. Drew, read me that guy's name one more time. It is Marvin Washington Jr. I don't mean to racially profile here. Once again, there goes your future political career. Yes, he's Hispanic. And you know, it sucks to be Marvin Washington Sr. in this case. Marvin Washington Sr. cannot be all that happy about having his name thrown around. I'll tell you, these people who got the sweet spit, whatever, they have a great lawsuit. And if I were them, I'd be thrilled and I'd be thanking this young man. Because that could be a multi-million dollar lawsuit. Is this going to be another one of those ridiculous lawsuits where now every McDonald's cop is going to have to say, caution, there may be spit in this. Maybe hot spit. Guaranteed phlegm free. Well, then you've got to order the organic one. What if it were a hot girl that did that? Would that turn you on? I've requested that. I'm just thinking, like, if it were a really hot girl, like that science teacher. What's this? What do we have? Hello? We have a caller. Just patch him right through. Don't let us know that it's you. Who do we have? Do we have the caller on? Hello? Can you hear me? Hey, guys. Hey! Welcome to the show. Who's calling in? I actually heard through the great minds that you guys are giving advice to people and stuff like that. We are. What's your name? What's your name and where are you calling from? I'm calling from California. Los Angeles, California. Okay. I believe I see you right outside the window. No. We're only about two and a half hours south. What's the question, Mike? What do you got for us? The question is the following. This is a little embarrassing, but I am the real 40-year-old virgin. Wow. I just turned 40 years old. Happy birthday. And I still haven't done it. And, you know. Now, okay. I've tried all kinds of things. I guess I'm just not good with women. But I thought maybe you guys can give me some advice. Help me out. First of all, is this real? I believe it's real. Did you consider joining the Secret Service? Have you? So you've never been with a girl ever? It's a movie, but this is my real life. So you've never been with a... I thought maybe you guys could help me out. We can help you. Or where he lives. I'm sorry. The name was? Mike. Alright. Mike. Let me ask you this. Has this been a choice or just because opportunity hasn't presented itself? No, it's not been a choice. I'm Catholic, but no. If I can get laid, it doesn't matter. Okay. I don't need to be married or anything like that. How ugly are you, Mike? I'm okay. That's a fair question. I'm not hideous. How tall are you? I'm about 5'8". I'll fuck you right now. Yeah, we'll fuck you. Come over here, Mike. I'm pretty sure if we ask Mike gay sex, we'll bang him. Problem solved, Mike. I'll meet you right next door. No, Mike, we're going to help you. I'll wear a fucking wig. Can you tell us what kind of work you do? Or is that... No, I'm in real estate. I actually do pretty well. Okay, so you got money. I do pretty well. I mean, we know he's... I'm a decent dancer. I'm not super awkward, but I just for some reason, I've always had women just either want to be my friends or they just want to hang out. Or they just feel... They actually are repelled from a romantic encounter. It's always been that way. Mike, let me ask you this. I've tried different things. What does that mean, I've tried different things? You've said you've tried different things two or three times. What does that mean, Mike? What have you tried? Like after maybe a date or something, I want to make sure that the girl's on board, so I call her and I follow up with her. Maybe sometimes I go out a little too overboard. Leaving her messages and stuff. So by different things, you haven't tried... This sounds like swingers. Did you call up about 15 times a day, Mike, and just scared the shit out of her? Or are you standing on her front lawn when you called? I'm going to ask you this, and it's a serious question. Do you have any restraining orders against you? Or have you ever? No, not current. You can't prove it. Not current. If they're not current, they're invalid. Case closed. Have you ever had a girlfriend? I've already been dismissed, and I'm good now. Oh, yeah. Have you had a girlfriend before? No. Not like a real girlfriend. Not like a holding-hands girlfriend. Just kind of like a girl I hang out with and watch movies, and maybe we've kissed a couple times, but it's never been like... It's never gotten to the next level. Like I said, I always end up in the friend zone with girls. It's the weirdest thing in the world. Have you ever been to Amsterdam? Never been to Amsterdam, no. Okay, have you ever... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. your first couple times around. Yeah, first go is not going to be all that good and not going to last that long. And Mike, do me a favor. Get away from the kiddie park. That's your first problem. Or shut one of those kids up and send them first to the candy store. Sorry, I'm actually at my nephew's birthday party. Yeah, well, if you're hanging out at kiddie parks, you're not going to meet anybody. That's the first step. Turn around, tell the kids to be quiet. You're trying to figure out how to get laid. Mike, let me ask you this. Aside from your work, what are your hobbies? Do you do anything outside of work that maybe you could, you know, like a yoga class or something that maybe you could meet women in that capacity? I do sculptures and stuff. Dude, how are you not getting... Yeah, something's wrong here because you sound like you're getting laid regularly. I sculpt and, you know, do woodwork and stuff like that. Woodwork, that's the wrong word. Mike, chronic masturbating. Mike. Socializing, meet people doing it. I have a little shed in the back of my house. Whoa. This is turning dark. Mike, I wouldn't lead with the shed story when you're kissing yourself. Mike, do you own firearms? Have you ever killed anyone? I do have a collection of knives, though. Do you show that on a first date? I wouldn't break that story out until the shed story comes out either. Mike, have you seen a grown man naked before? It's my escape. Mike, in all seriousness, do you have AIDS? It's a fair question. Or any contagious diseases? How could he? He can't have anything if he hasn't been with anybody. Maybe a blood transfusion. I don't know. He can contract AIDS when he left the hand. Do you masturbate? Everyone does. Currently, right now, yes. No, look, seriously, I would like to help Mike. No. I'm trying to think. I know. Do you have a girlfriend right now? No. Are you on any websites, dating sites? What do you do to try to... Where are you trying to meet women? Like, are you using online sites, OkCupid? I just don't know. I don't know. Like, I want it to be a net, like I meet somebody and just, you know, we talk, you know, at a bar or, you know, we're at a museum or some cool thing like that, like a romantic thing. That's a smart idea. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. That's a good idea. This is crazy. It's not a good idea. Did I misunderstand? You're not on any internet sites? Is that right? No, no. I just, I don't want to do it like that. Oh, Mike, you know what? You are... That's how most people do it. Mike, I want to tell you something. I want it to be natural. I was really liking you at first, but you sound like, and no offense, but really, I don't want to say a fucking moron, but you're crazy. You got it. You aren't right. That's like a cop-out. Hold on a second. You're 40 years old and you haven't gotten laid? Put yourself on every website there is. That's how people meet people. You got this perfect way. The reason you're not getting laid is because you decided the only way you're going to get laid is X, Y, Z. It's got to be, you know, on Friday, it's got to be a blue sky. I'm of the opinion. You know what it is? It's just that I've waited this long. Like, I've been at it so long that I figure, what the fuck? I'm going to go and, you know, compromise now. Are you the same guy that said you didn't want to wait until you were 80? Maybe with a few tweaks to the equation, maybe I can make it, get it done the way that I've always dreamed, you know? Yeah, but here's the thing. I don't want to see a girl across the way at a party or just kind of making that first sight with somebody. That's called TV. It's called the movies. That's kind of always been my dream. That's fantasy. I know. Mike, listen, this is Drew. I'm trying to help you here. Vic's getting pissed off. Yeah, you're not. You're seriously, he's turning red. Well, yeah. I'm telling you, Mike. I want to help too. Vic is, he's got a very good point. And now I'm telling you, the way people meet these days, it just increases your possibilities in the pool. The internet, that's where you have a large contingency of freaks, which in your case is going to be very helpful. And then you're also going to have some somewhat normal people. But you are going to vastly open up your possibilities. It doesn't mean, you don't even have to start off paying for it. I'm going to give you the name of a place. I'm telling you, OKCupid. I've gotten laid off that site. That means you can too. OKCupid.com. OKCupid. You fill out a profile. And I'm telling you, you start, you'll have your share of lunatics and you're going to have to sleep with a freak or two just to get to work your way in. It sounds like poor Mike is so woefully behind in his development that you need to play catch up, my man. You need to burn through all these. You're going to meet the party girl. You're going to meet the girl who won't tell you why she lived in Vegas for four years. Exactly. Don't think for a second the first girl you have sex with is the one you want as your girlfriend. Not going to happen. You're going to be happy that you wasted your first sexual experience on whoever it's going to be. I haven't had a chance to ask it. Mike, this is Mark. I'm one of the comics on the show. Let me ask you, and be honest with him and don't feel like maybe pushing, the kid to the side for a second. Do you... Just focus with me. Do you... Do you come quick? Do I what? Do you come quick and maybe you just... How does he know? He masturbates. Well, I'm sure he's made out with you. That doesn't count. I mean, it depends. It depends, I guess, you know, how my imagination is that day or... What, you think he's sitting there teasing himself? No, what I'm saying... I don't know. What I meant to say, what I meant to say, he didn't say he didn't... He said he's never had sex. You've made out with girls. You've touched girls. I mean, you've done that part, right? You're just talking about... I've done that part, yeah. Okay. So what I mean, you never like maybe made out with the girl and like five minutes later you came in your pants and you're just worried about that and you're scared? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay, so there you go. Yeah. He's scared. He wants to have this experience and he's scared that his first experience is not going to be a good one. Before we go, I know we're going to move on, but one thing, Mike, in all seriousness, I really think you should see a therapist because I think there's more to... That's why I'm reaching out to you guys. Yeah, well, we're bad advice. You need some... You need like the good advice and there's a place in Beverly Hills called Sexual Recovery Institute. I think you should look at it. It's called SRI, Sexual Recovery Institute. SRI. Yeah, I would go and see someone. I think this is deep-rooted. And if by chance you do wind up having any kind of erectile problems, I personally have used Boston Medical Group and it is absolutely incredible. And I'll tell you about it if Drew lets me. All right, we have another call. So, Mike, listen. Thank you very much, buddy. Mike, get some help. Get yourself a freak and then check back in with us. Let us know how it goes. Good luck, Mike. All right, we've got another call. Thank you, guys. Thank you. We got another call? Jeremy? This person can't stop fucking, right? That's this call. Do we have this one? Okay. Caller, you're on the air. Hello? Yeah. There you go. Who do we have here? Mike. Mike. Is this a different Mike? No. Well, it's the first time I'm calling, so... Oh, well, Mike, we just had another caller who was our 40-year-old virgin, so I'm assuming that's not you. I'm far from that. Okay. Well, then you could have helped Mike. Yeah, we should have come up. You could have gotten your cast-offs. Yeah. Well, I guess what this is, you're going to give me some advice on some things. Is that correct? That is absolutely correct, Mike. Welcome to the show. That's advice. Okay. So here's my situation. I directed a movie not too long ago, which I'm getting ready to do another one, and I had this particular actor who happens to be a comic, and he loves to take over the set. I know who the fuck that is. I know who this is. And so my issue with this guy is if I hire him for another show, I don't want to say anything to him anymore. What can I do to him physically to create more of a healthy atmosphere on the set? Physically? I'm not sure. I'm going to have to because the way, because dialogue doesn't work with this guy. I'm not sure really. What's going on in the set that's a problem? Specifically? Well, you know, we have a sensitive scene or a situation that goes on. I'm not going to mention the guy's name, you know, who this particular actor, he's from New York. He's a nephew of another actor or a related cousin, rather. And he likes to, you know, take over. And everybody knows he's there. He's the kind of guy that yells, You're the director, is that right? Can I take a guess who this is? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I think he's on the little dance that's there. Yeah. So you're saying Marco is a pain in the ass to work with. Is that what you're telling us? Oh, no. Oh, no. He's a pleasure at times. I'm going to call shenanigans on Mike because Marco's contributions here are so minimal, I can scarcely believe. Is he, does he show up exhausted when he gets here? Is that what's going on from running the show over there? Yeah. I don't know. You know, we did this little picture called, it was with Jack McGee, a few others. And Marco was, Marco surprised me. He was very good. However, he was, every time I tried to concentrate on something, Marco was right there and, you know, you should do this. You should get, I think it's going to be this way for me, you know, for me. And he's the center of attention. I am a pain in the ass and I agree. You see, now, we've never had that problem with him, but, you know, if you got him to wear, pants, I think that you're having less of a problem with him than we are. Well, I mean, there's a number of things that he wanted to wear. I won't mention them on the air now, but, um, trashing lingerie comes to mind. But, uh, we, you know, we, we should invite you guys down to the set sometime to actually see what he's like when he's, uh, in action. Well, we'd love to come down, but Mike, we got a show to do. And next time, Mike, can you come up with a better fucking question, please? I mean, I never got my answer. How do I physically, how do I, how do I, how do I, how do I physically take care of you on the set? Don't hire him again. You know what you do? Go like the next time he approaches you with a suggestion, act like you're thinking it over for a second, and then go, you're right, let's just cut the whole line. And then little by little, diminish his role until it's over. I think you're kind of doing it. Have you ever taken a good look at Marco? Just feed him. Holy shit, I've just been called a fat bastard. The other thing is, Marco looks like he's kind of, could have a temper and could be threatening. Like, uh, like I could see where you'd be nervous, a good fucking answer, Chris. You gotta fix your thing on Chris. That was Vic. That was Vic. Oh, man. I just hit your dial. I had the dial. Your seating chart sucks. Yeah, Vic. All right. Mike, thanks for calling, buddy. Thanks for calling. I appreciate it. And, uh, yeah. I appreciate it, fellas. Miss you, love you. All right. All right. Good luck on the movie, man. Okay. I know we did one McDonald's story, but this one, this one's actually, if you thought the Phlegm story was disturbing, check this out. McDonald's is a well-spread. McDonald's, oh my God. I'm assuming they're not a sponsor. McDonald's is a sponsor. They're the sponsor of the show. If it's not Walmart, it's McDonald's. But check this out. An undercover cop was propositioned by a woman who offered him sex if he got her two cheeseburgers from the dollar menu. Whichever, whichever choice he goes with, there's gonna be cheese on it. I can tell you that right off the bat. That is a lose-lose situation right there. I mean, it's bad enough to be a prostitute. You know they have, like, Vegas hookers. There's a hierarchy of hookers, depending on how good-looking they are and how young they are. And I don't even know what level you cross to wind up as, like, the resident McDonald's kind of barfly hooker. I don't even want to see a picture of this woman. Yeah, I mean, my advice... You don't want to, but yet you're going to. Oh, my God. She looks like one of the... In, like, a three-stage deterioration of, like, a meth head. Have you seen that? It does, you're right. The faces of meth. She looks like she's well on her way to the far right. Yeah, although the first stage looks like she was maybe only charging $3 to $4 cheeseburgers because I don't think she was talking about... With a quarter pounder, you can tell over time, though, she's had to lower her demands. He gave her his quarter pounder. And she definitely doesn't go to Supercuts. You think with all these stories from McDonald's, they should try and capitalize on it? You know, like, there's no such thing as bad publicity. It does alter your advertising. You need a new slogan like, McDonald's, I'm fucking it, you know? Come for the saliva, come for the hookers, come for the cheese. We got Wi-Fi, we got... You name it, we got it. Coffee. Is this the different girl? No. Isn't there one that actually blew somebody for Chicken McNuggets? I'm serious. That may be something that happened to you. Is that you? It was called last Thursday. Did it happen with you? No, I've never blown anybody for Chicken McNuggets. But I... He's been blown for Chicken McNuggets. It does bring a whole new meaning to Happy Meal. Yeah. Right? This would be a happy meal. An unhappy meal. That meal comes with a little, but, you know, the smile's upside down. I will tell you, I wonder if this isn't some kind of epidemic that's associated with it. That society's unaware of. Because when I was traveling cross-country on one of my many crappy tours, we were at... My friend Roy Haber and I were at a McDonald's and he went outside to smoke a cigarette. Sure enough, some girl out there just started talking to him and just going, hey, you know, I've been staying at that motel across the way. And, you know, eventually, quickly became clear to him what she was... Well, this is why prostitution should be legal. I think. Among many reasons, yes. Yeah, I... Because fast food's bad for you? I don't catch your reasoning, but I agree with your... So we don't have hookers hanging out in drive-thrus. And they can go do... Apply their trade in a regulated, healthy way. By the way, I'd like to thank our producer for not posting her picture on the app. I've seen it. Don't post it. All right, well, look, we've got... We've had a couple of questions come in through our Facebook site and I'd like to be able to help these people if we can. So we've got several to cover. Now, two of these people, apparently different parts of the country have the same problem. I didn't know this was such a big problem, but apparently it is. One wrote, my 82-year-old dad insists on walking around the house totally naked other than flip-flops. I think it's very inappropriate, but I'm afraid to say anything since I live with him rent-free. Being his 59-year-old daughter, I find it uncomfortable to bring dates home and his grandkids seem to hate visiting. What should I do? Serena in Cave City, Kentucky. I just want to start by saying I don't know the place named Cave City, but I want to live there. It exists. It does exist. Really? What a great name for a place. Everybody's albino and has bright red eyes. Guys. There's so much. How old is he? The dad is how old? The dad is 82. She's 59. First of all, she's 59. She finds it uncomfortable to bring dates home. What 59-year-old is dating? Like seriously, Mike can't get laid? Mike, call the 59-year-old. She'll give you some. And I also like that she says it's like the grandkids seem to hate visiting. Like, trust me, they hate visiting. What is that? If she's 59, the grandkids aren't exactly little kids either. The grandkids are like 35. Grandkids are grand adults and they're creeped out. If you, I think if you keep the 82-year-old moving, sooner or later, he's going to step on his balls and he's going to put some pants on. My initial assessment of this story is it's a very, it's a not so subtle way of telling you he doesn't want you there. Yeah. That's my advice right there. You're the one who's bad about picking up ends. I like the fact that as much as he insists on, being naked, he insists on wearing the flip flops. The flip flops, that's good. Yeah. This is the one. He doesn't want to get his feet dirty on the plane. This is the one occasion you hope your grandparents keep that plastic on the couch. No, the other one, the person that wrote in, we have Neil in San Jose who wrote, my neighbors are always naked. They're in their late sixties. They say it's up to them what they do in their home, but their blinds are always open and we have a low fence between our places. Well, at that age, everything should be drooping low enough for the fence to cover all the gross stuff, no? Yeah, but when did this thing, is, is this a popular thing that I was unaware of? Like old people wanting to walk around naked? First of all, sixties, that's the new forties. That's what you say when you're 60. Yeah. How old are you? Nobody knows. Congratulations on your 60th. No, no, no. I would slip a coupon under the door for hedonism. Club hedonism? Yeah. Yeah, I would actually pay for a two plane ticket one way for them to go to hedonism. At that age, they're going to call you to come pick it up because they're not going to be able to pick up whatever you slid under the door. Actually, when I was 18 years old, I went to hedonism. Five years in a row, I had a blackhead. Did you get laid? Did you pick up a couple of 60 year olds? It was, anyway, we don't have a lot of time. Yeah, we don't. But, Yeah, that story we can do another time. But yeah, I just, I think this, this person who wrote is, is like one of those annoying neighbors. I mean, it's not that big a deal. It really isn't. It would bug me though, if that's what I have to look at. You don't have to. Close your fucking blinds and don't look. I don't care how wide open their blinds are. You are, must be looking to see something. Yeah, but certain images get ingrained. And once you see it, it's like, oh, I can't get that out of my head. Like the exorcist vomiting. Yeah. I don't. Well, okay. Now this week, there's two things that this week is known for. It's, you know, it's tax week. And one of the person wrote in with a question that has to do with taxes. It says, I owe the IRS close to 200,000 in back taxes from the past 10 years of not filing. Should I start, should I file now and start paying the taxes? Or should I wait for the IRS to find me? And it's signed Monte in Austin, Texas. I'll start this one because I'm guessing there's not that many Montes in Austin, Texas. So Monte, you are already that much closer to them finding you. You, at this point, I would say Monte is kind of like the car in a car chase with a helicopter overhead. You can run, but you're not getting away. But you know what I read, and this may help Monte out, that because of the budget and because we have no fucking money, that they actually, that this year and forward, that it would be a good time to, less people are gonna get it audited because they don't have so many people doing the work. So I would say you have an extra two years to just lay it out and just go party, get some hookers and blow and just- I have to disagree, and I'll tell you why. You're gonna disagree with the hookers and blow theory? No, I like the hookers and blow, but I'm with Chris in disagreeing, but go ahead, why? We need money to finance our rich white man wars against brown people. And the only way we can do that is, no, I'm kidding. But this is not- I don't know how you don't have a political future. This is not a situation you can win, because when the IRS finally does catch up with you, they're gonna assess you with penalties. If you come on your own volition with a tax attorney, like what Marco just said, you could say, look, there's a deficit, I'm in a bad shape, it's a bad economy, you could negotiate with the IRS and end up paying pennies on the dollar. But if they catch you, they're gonna make you pay for it. Isn't the show called Bad Advice? Yeah, that was fantastic. Fantastic financial hour, what else you got there? I agree with you, Chris. You know, and I also believe it's about being honest. You couldn't tell from my haircut, I got a Suze Orman haircut. What is it? Can we spend the last five minutes on an audit? That would be awesome. What is it about Texas with Willie Nelson, Monty? It might be in the blood, you know, Texans. Texans, no, Texans, they don't pay taxes. Not to the federal government. Not to the government, no. All right, well now, the other thing that was this week is you had all these people for 420. We had someone- Oh, I missed it. Yeah. Vince is gonna show up in 15 minutes, by the way. Vince never made it in. He did it for you. But no, we had someone that wrote and I'm just trying to find- Vince forgot to set his clock up a month ago. That's why. Talking about 420, Vince is gonna show up with about a minute fucking left. Yeah, no, this is like from Susan in Venice. She says she's 22 and thinking about getting a medical marijuana card for, in quotes, anxiety, but she's afraid it could come back to haunt her when she either went to work or law school. So she wanted to know, should she get the card? Absolutely not. This is Vic. I say no. No, I say no, but not for any, the reason I say no is I'm old fashioned. I believe in getting your drugs from a street dealer. That's nice. There's no danger involved. That's old school. For your local businesses. Yeah. I mean, big corner. Have you guys, by the way, been down in Venice where they just send out like the least doctor looking person with a big medical looking coat? That's awesome. Seriously. Is that really what you're saying? Yeah. You walk down, it'll be like six people about 24 years old, all wearing long green medical coats. Doctors Inn. Did she say green? With dreads and sunglasses. Green. Green. It has a big pot leaf on it. Yeah, it's crazy. And they always said like the doctors in. Dr. Kush, I think is the guy. Dr. Kush. That's the guy. Yeah. Sorry, not me, but somebody I know who has a medical marijuana card. His, not my doctor, was this very hot black woman who, I mean, literally looked like she could have been a model with a shaved head. That was the doctor. She could not have been a model without a shaved head. Wait a minute. Did you just say a really hot woman with a shaved head? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not kidding you. You sure she wasn't an eight ball? You were looking at an eight ball. Seriously, she looked like Vic? No, no, she was completely. I'm flattered. She didn't have the coronet that Vicka has. I'm growing that. I am. My whole thing with these medicinal marijuana cards is I think it's one more way for the government to keep track of people. So that's where I find it scary. I like this, doc. Yeah, you know, it amazes me from living in California now for eight years and having had this conversation a million times, how many people think that California's law is the nation's law and it's not. You must be an imbecile. You must not read the paper to not know that the rest of the country still- Oh yeah, no, we're in. The federal government, the DEA, they still are waiting to kick down our doors. So best thing that ever, the best thing going on in California is that. Then now they got to legalize prostitution. Yeah, no. And then they claim they have no money, but they don't want to legalize where they would get, the two sources that they would get probably the most money. Right, prostitution, we'd be balanced. I do remember a couple of years ago when the DEA kind of made a, you know, announcement, a very public announcement saying, you know, we do not respect that law in California. We still uphold our laws. And then about a week later, they backed off. And I suspect it's because probably, you know, politicians that represent California said, look, we are bankrupt. We need this business. If you, you know, we're going to get rid of this business, we're going to get rid of this business. And then they backed off. You didn't even remember this? It happened a couple of years ago. We do. I was waiting for the bad advice. Well, here's the thing. My advice for her is don't get the medical marijuana card. Don't wimp out and do harder drugs. I think she's relatively safe. Seriously, do some coke, do something that counts. Hey, are legitimate doctors. Those are your medical records. They can't get to them. Hey, Drew. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're talking. No, no problem. I have a problem with that. Sorry. What? Listen. We don't have a lot of time. So make it quick. And then I got one last thing to cover and then we're out of here. I'm all set. I'm done. I just wanted to say that we didn't have a look on time, but I think next week if we can, because why we didn't talk about it today is the Secret Service men who had the whole prostitution thing going on in Columbia. Mm hmm. Yeah. Great. Okay. All right. We'll get to that. No. Somebody else or something that made no sense whatsoever. I'm sorry. Chris. Can August Gus right here at the table. The weekly wrap up every Sunday. Four o'clock. He covers all those stories. That'll, that'll definitely be discussed. I'm sure. Definitely be discussed tomorrow. We're doing our plugs. We have one last question. Are we going to do our plugs? Sorry, Chris. Yeah, we got plugs. All right, Vic, you got something to plug. We got a minute. What do you got? I just want to thank everyone for listening and thank my cohorts here. It's been a great hour. Find me at viccohen.com. V-I-C-C-O-H-E-N.com. And I've got a really great video up on YouTube. It's a video response to Alicia Silverstone's bird feeding story from a couple of weeks ago. I hope you can check it out. Oh, cool. Excellent. Marco Asante. Real quick, iTunes, Telemarco. Telemarco. I taped the Telemarco. It's at Coma House. It's on iTunes. Check it out. It's pretty funny. Excellent. Chris, what you got? The Palmdale Hotel in Palmdale, California. Next Friday doing a special show. What date is that? The 27th, I believe. Headliner Richard Villa, Refried Fridays, huge moon, all kinds of Spanish TV. Cool. All right. Well, I want to thank everybody. This has been another fun week. We'll be here every Saturday, 2 to 3. We'll be back. Certainly, you can submit your questions online to Bad Advice on Facebook. Like us on Facebook. Call in during the week. We will see you later. And I will be back with Ken August tomorrow at 4 o'clock on the weekly wrap up. Thank you again, Skid Row Studios. You all have a great week and we will see you next Saturday.