Sideshow stunts, glass walking, and clown fetishes

We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. I'm happy and I'm going to cut you up into little pieces. That's kind of the happiness. I suppose they just don't understand it because it's so contrary to everything that would be natural. Clowns are very unnatural. People are afraid of exaggerated features, the covering, the wearing of makeup. You know, it's a big misunderstanding. They just don't know how to feel and so they choose fear. Absolutely. Pussies. Of course, when you extend the last word of every sentence, that gets a little creepy. Well, it's got a maniacal sort of thing going on. Something to do with it too, huh? It's a price movie. But I'm much more afraid of ballet girls than I am of clowns. Because I got to tell you, looking at you now, I think they should fucking fire Jared Leto and fucking throw you in there because you got the whole thing going on. Even though nobody knows who the fuck you are. They do now. Now he's been on the show. Getting the word out. Thanks to this guy. I appreciate that. Trust me, you're the type. You fit right in. We've had clowns. This is a show plenty of times. We might have a clown on next week. Sorry. But we might have a clown next week. But we usually have hot clowns, like female clowns. Do you have a clown fetish? Big time. Come on now. Look at me. He loves hot clowns. He's a hot clown too. He's in my apartment. Really? Absolutely. He's a fetish clown. You open up the bottom drawer, you'd be like, holy shit. Because I dated a clown. They say the most attractive feature on a woman is her feet. Particularly when she wears size 11s. Well, that was the thing. I dated a clown and then she took her shoes off. I was so disappointed. So disappointed. Her feet were normal size. Fucking liar. So in Boston, how did they react to Spike the Clown? What did you do in Boston? Were you actually in a circus? Actually, I worked at a haunt called Spooky World in Nightmare, New England. It was a blast. We got to have ultimate creative freedom. Because I'm a born creep. So I really got to. I've sensed that. Absolutely. Born creep. When you walked in, I said creep, right? Much accomplished. But it was a blast. Scaring people for fun. You know, you don't even have to pay us. It's just like an outlet for us to go crazy. But it's nice if they do. Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. It won't turn down gratuity. So you got Spike the Clown. You got the pumpkin head guy. What other characters do you have? See, I got another clown character with my main man who's not here right now. We're Scorch and Flint McFirefook. We're like a rodeo clown duo. Oh, rodeo clown. They made a special appearance at the Halloween Club. It was the Halloween Club Spook Show or whatever the fuck that show's called. Absolutely. It's like a festival. Oh, okay. I remember now. You guys, actually, Jamie had a booth there. Yeah, absolutely. Just filthy fucking nasty clowns. They're fucking awesome. Literally awesome. Right? They look like they... And their makeup and shit... Can you give me the rodeo clown face because that's got to be different. You know? You are doing a different face. Look at that. You know, like filthy teeth and everything. That's the one thing is the makeup is like to the teeth. It's fucking awesome. Absolutely. You know? I play on both teams. Yeah. So it's a game. It's a rodeo clown. Deliverance. And it's good. It holds good. You know what I'm saying? Oh, it's a bisexual rodeo clown. It just likes holes. It might carve a few holes. Absolutely. Living dead don't matter. That's right. He just gets it done. Gets it done. You sick bastard. Well, I got to tell you, as you know, Nicole, the dangerous is one of these guys that just walks in room and is like, you know, hey, motherfuckers, pay attention to me. Come on. You know? That's amazing. But Houdini, you're kind of a shy guy. Somewhat. How did you get into this? Did you do any of the whole, like, lifting stuff with your eyelids and all the stuff that you do? You know, I had older brothers. I used to get beat up a lot. But I was a theater kid. Believe it or not, I was a huge theater kid. And then a jackass came out and said, that's what I want to do. Right. That's what I want to do. Did you incorporate that in theater class? Like, did you freak out your theater teacher? Yeah. I mean, eventually I just realized I like to shock people more than anything. Right. So I just kept doing the most craziest things. So I actually went to Warped Tour, saw the Brothers Grimm sideshow, saw them staple themselves, and I went to high school the next day and started stapling myself. Right. So, like, you're in theater class. Like, to be or not to be, and you're, like, stapling yourself while you're doing it? Kind of, but I had more of a showman approach to it. I was going around lunch having, hey, you want to staple a dollar to me? You want to staple a dollar to me? So I was making money like that. Get your lunch money that way. Did you ever get in trouble for any sort of, like, self-harm or something like that? Were they understanding? No, and usually in Claremont, I was, I came from Pomona, and Pomona was, like, a bad neighborhood, so when they had to deal with me already, they're like, just let this kid hurry up and go through the system and get out of here. Get rid of this fucker. Yeah, they're like, this is like a one in a million chant. Let's get him out of here. That's something that bonds the two of you, probably all three of you, is that you kind of grew up in a bad neighborhood. Although, you know, dangerous needs to describe Baltimore's reward zone. Yeah. Although, apparently, if you read the news, they're giving away free money in the Harbor Tunnel. Right. Yeah. So I heard that. I didn't eat lunch. So how did you two meet, were you doing your sideshow thing when you met him? No, I was doing more stuff like just on my own, just having fun, going around being stupid, trying to figure out what all this stuff was. Right. It's actually pretty cool. I met him because his wife, Jamie, does killer taxidermy. She's actually going to be at the CIA show. Yeah, I know. Showing her stuff. So a lot of events that I was doing when I first came out, she was vending at. Right, right. So we became good friends and were talking and they started dating and I met him one night at one of my shows and he was like, hey, I'm really into this shit. I can do some fire. I can do this and that. He's like, I'm really interested in getting started to do this. Two weeks later, he had a full show and he was performing. I was like, what the fuck? That's awesome. So I was like, yeah, I was like, dude, shave it off, get it pro and then we're fucking on, dude. We'll start working. And by the way, I didn't mean to interrupt. Were you eating real worms? I was going to say, usually he would like, see, this is why he's like so beyond the sideshow performer. I won't do shit unless you're paying me or I'm going to intro it or everybody's watching like you said. He actually didn't eat dinner and he's sitting here fucking eating worms. Those are actual worms you're eating right now. We're going to pass this around so all of you can see what's going on here. So that you can get a good look at what the hell he's been doing, crunching over here for the past few minutes. They're meal worms. These are super worms. Pretty good either way. Creepy crawlers. It's just a little snack. You can see them moving right now. You can see them moving in the camera. I don't want to turn off and I don't want worms running around the studio. Oh, of course not. Yeah, that shit is real. He's very subtle. I'm going to slide out of the way here. He just started snacking on some worms. Like it's nothing. He slid it in like it was popcorn. Did you notice that? When I was on tour, I got so tired of not doing my geek act that I started going to the pet stores and just buying. So what do worms taste like? I mean. Do you want to try one? No, no, no. Come on. Look, everybody at the table we're getting crazy. We're all trying one. It's like a little old You ready? You got liquor to chase it down with, right? I don't want to eat a worm. Okay, Houdini's going to eat all of them for us. Here we go. Go ahead, Houdini. Bon appetit. Okay. And by the way, you don't get that. And for the record, it's not like any fear of it or anything. I just don't think it'll taste very good. Oh, make sure you don't drop them. Don't drop them. Fucking box. Oh my God. I'm coughing a worm. I never waste anyone. Jesus Christ. By the way, Doomy's Home Cooking is vegan. They do not have worms. I'm going to pour a little bit of water into this in here for you. Yeah, yeah. Wash it down with some beer, please. IPA and worms. Right. Good stuff, man. And he enjoys this shit. It's like mom used to make. All right, so here's my next question because you were saying how you made him through his girlfriend who's wonderful. She's in the other room with his son. Yes. And that's fantastic. With his son, not mine. Don't get that. No, no, no. Don't get that fucked up. You're your son. But you both have beautiful girlfriends. Why, thank you. How about a round of applause for Madeline and Madeline She's over here. She's out of camera range. She's over my bullshit. Yeah. How you feeling, baby? You drunk yet? No. Oh, okay. So do you guys doing stupid things like eating worms and picking up things with your earlobes, does that attract women? Obviously. I mean, obviously. Yeah. It's actually, it's my cunning, good looks and charming personality, but. Legend of Maine. Right. But if you do anything that's out of the ordinary. That's a double double double They're real crutchy. Just so you can see. Yes, the worms are gone. The whole box. Sorry, guys. None for you. Oh, no. You don't have to do that. That looks like fucking Reese's Pieces. Look at that. Jesus. And you've got a hot girlfriend. Peanut butter is disgusting. I hate peanut butter. I would think eating worms in front of a woman, that would be... I was doing that way before chicks. Trust me, I don't doubt that. You were playing with worms way before you know about chicks. I haven't said that. But, I mean, I would imagine the first time you ate a worm in front of a hot chick, it's over. That's a deal breaker. You would think so, but no. Most of the time, a hot chick wants to eat bugs with her. That's right. But don't combine the two. But I'm saying, you see somebody chomp on that. I bet you most girls are watching him eat that, and they're like, you know what? If he does that to a worm, I wonder what he'd do to a vagina. See, now I like to eat worms and they're all gone. Same. Worms and fur burgers. Speaking of eating pussy, you lost your flavor saver. What happened? Because it's easier to eat pussy, right, babe? You both had like dueling mustaches, like dueling handlebar mustaches. We used to get together and get like rams and hit each other. We used to walk up and we'd just see what happened. Right. I go through phases, man. If I do a lot of fire breathing and I singe it up a little bit, I have to trim it. It's like, you know what I mean, that whole deal. That's what I said. It was a fire breathing story? A little burn, and then it just wasn't growing out properly. So I was like, you know what? Fuck this. And besides, I'm like mad fucking pretty. So I was like, dude, let me show the world my face. Let me just get it out there. Nicole didn't even recognize you today. That's right. That's right. Like, who's that pretty boy? Yeah, who's the good looking dude on the show? Yeah. I was going to say, the clown is actually closest to my type. There you go. Good job. Oh my goodness. It's a good thing there's a table in between us. I'd be expecting you to request me. I'd be expecting you to request me. I'd be expecting you to request me. I'd be expecting you to request me. I'd be expecting you to request me. I'd be expecting you to request me. A little rock and roll dangle going on with that hair there. I know. I kind of just want to lick that. Yeah. It looks like frosting. No, you do like, you do like, okay, so you do like the hair, yeah. So, but, and. I mean, mostly I'm a hair girl, so the rest of it, I don't even. Absolutely. The blue hair, you like the blue hair? Is that? It fits his face. That's what you say about people. You're so nice about hitting on him right now. You're really doing a professional job. You can tell him you want to just hump him. Yeah, just. Yeah. You know, just go ahead. That's cool. Put a chain on him and take him back home. I'm not a sensitive boy. Come on now. You don't think he's going to defend it easily, do you? Shake motherfuckers down for that lunch money. So you grew up in Boston. I did. And how did you get into all the characters? It's just, yeah, I've just been a Halloween fanatic since I was a little kid, you know. My mom booked me, like, as a baby in front of the door and I saw all the trick-or-treaters hooked like that, you know. And then, like, just, like, horror movies. Candy, candy, candy. Absolutely. So what was the best costume when you were a kid? Oh, shit. Like, damn, I don't know. That's a tough one. Chewbacca. Some of his are, you got, I'm going to, all the stuff that we talked about, like the show about the CIA and then his, like, official fan page and shit. Tomorrow I'm going to post it or later tonight if I don't get too drunk. I'll post all that shit on my Facebook and check it out. But not only does he do characters that he created, he, like. And by the way, by the way, you could have emailed that to me so I could have done it. Well, yeah, you're right. Well, I'm not running the show. But he's done, like, Michelangelo, like the Ninja Turtles. The Ninja Turtle. Head to fucking toe. The whole fucking thing. I mean, it looks fucking great. Like, he does other characters. You can check out his page and see all the shit that he does. It's just fucking awesome. What was your best Halloween costume when you were a kid? Me? Yeah. Shit. My, like, the one that looked the best or the one that I enjoyed the best? The one you enjoyed the most. The one that I enjoyed the best was Abe Lincoln. Yeah. I didn't know Abe Lincoln was here. That was the one because I already wore, like, a top hat and coattails. I put the beard on and it was awesome. I just walked around all night and then I had a buddy shoot me in the back of the head. I can see that. But I got him. I went the fuck out right in the middle of the club in front of everybody. They were like, what the fuck is this idiot doing? Nice. I laid there. That's what's up. Nice. And you had to stay there. You couldn't get up. I had to wait for them to fucking lock up the place. I'm sure. I laid there all night. It was like the Saw fucking movie. I didn't move. I laid there. And who did you, what was the best Halloween costume when you were a kid? Go up in Pomona. I would say I was a homemade scarecrow one year. And my mom used to put up Halloween costumes, like, as decorations. So we took it down and I pretended to be the scarecrow decoration. Right. And she went outside and I scared the shit out of her. Literally pissed her pants. That's awesome. You can piss your mom's pants. That's always good. I didn't even go out trick-or-treating that year. That's all I did. And by the way, how painful were the eyes under your eyes? They weren't as painful as you thought. The spiders were fucking killed. You gotta say tattoos. The spider's pretty cool. It's right here. For all you crazy listeners, he has tattoos all over his face. Right. Because, yeah, there's people listening on iTunes and audio. Oh, that's right. You have tattoos of eyeballs under your eyeballs. Yeah. What's the thought behind that? What's the thought behind that? Well, one, it kind of looks pretty odd. It looks like an optical illusion. But I kind of want to look like a spider. Right. Yeah. I love arachnids. I love spiders. And so that's why you have spiders. Yeah. And that hurts like a son of a bitch. Yeah, it hurt pretty bad. Because I got it all done at the same time. And you lift things with your eyelids. Oh, yeah. And I did it two days later. I did it two days later. I was like, oh, shit. Oh, well. He sits like a fucking champ, though. Like, I've done... But that must hurt like a motherfucker, huh? Yeah, it hurt pretty bad. It took a half hour, more or less. Oof. Yeah. He sits like an animal, though. He does. Yeah. It's a flinch. I'm like, holy fuck. And you like to encourage him to do even... Oh, fuck yeah, dude. I jump around him. I wick my dick out. I'll be like, yeah, I get it. And just watch him. Yeah, you guys... That's stunts you can do in your private life. You can do that on YouTube. I'm sure you can. Well, we were going to do our finale stunt naked tonight. Oh, good. Go ahead. Please do. Please do. Now, what is in the plastic bag that you brought in the studio? I got to figure. I'm not sure what's going on. This one in here? Yes. It's loaded with booze. All right. Yeah. It's got a bunch of booze in it. Okay. Yeah, it's just booze. But I do have something that fell out of the bag, and Houdini's holding it right here. Okay. I knew you had something. Ah. I know what this is. This is... He's like, I knew you had something there, you two little weasel-ish fucks. Right, right, right. A birth control device. For those of you that are listening and not watching, although you will watch once you know what's happening here, you'll get to check it out. But basically, Houdini has a metal coat hanger that's been bent into a shaft-like form. Right. That's right. It's a very phallic hanger. That's what we do. That's what we do. And ultimately, he's going to do something with this to show you that kind of what we do is fucking real. There's no tricks. There's no illusions. Nothing like that. Typically, what he's going to do is what a modern-day or old-school sideshow performer would do called sword swallowing, where they just basically open the throat, esophagus, stomach, bang, and slide 15, 16 inches of metal right down there. He's going to show you... If everybody's the man to do it, that's Houdini. Yeah. I got news for you. I was going to dart around the fact of large... Large... Large penis-looking things going down his mouth. But you know I would. Yeah, because I do that all the time. It's great. Yeah, it's great. But he's going to show you something. Coming from the man, but it's the D and Houdini. Right. Because I... Oh! Hey-oh! Oh! All right, all right, all right. You go, girl. But when I was at... Last time I saw you at the CIA, you did this. Yeah. And people were... People... They didn't know... You didn't give the introduction. Once again, you were a little shy on stage, and people weren't really sure what was going on. Oh, of course. And then when you did it, they were just all just freaked out. Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah. And I just go hard at the end. You just... You haven't seen me do my glass walking. He gets hard at the end. I saw the glass walking. I saw the glass walking. He was good. He walks on glass. He's not afraid of broken glass. He tells me it hurts and it sucks, but he says he's not afraid of it. But you don't do... You do broken glass? We're going to put that shit to the test tonight. Oh, okay. I have a big bucket of broken glass with me here tonight, and we're going to see truly who's afraid of broken glass. Oh, I didn't mean to ruin it. No, that was a perfect segue. Yeah. That was awesome. See, we're clicking on all cylinders. I know, right? But we're going to have Houdini knock his fucking socks off. Have a shot, Spike. I've been having shots. Have you seen this? Have you seen the sword swallowing, Spike? Mm-mm. Oh, you're in a fur tree. Have you seen this? No. You're going to love this. Hold on. So, look. Stand up. Yeah, stand up and do it. But I want to mention to them that... I want to make sure you're on camera. Look, nobody has ever made a living swallowing coat hangers, but no one's actually really ever made a living swallowing swords either. Right. But the reason why... Okay, we can see it. He uses the coat hanger to show you because some people think when you're swallowing a sword, it's collapsible. Right. It goes into the handle. It's fake. You can't fucking fake this. This is 100% legitimate. You go in the studio. You go in the audience and you show them that. Nicole, you better watch. You better watch. You can't... Yeah. Holy Christ. There it is. Oh! Houdini! Houdini! Houdini! Hey-oh! Ladies and gentlemen, that shit is fucking real. He swallowed the sword. That is legitimately real. He swallowed the hand. That's a hand hanger. You can't fake that. So that's worms, hangers. That's a balanced diet. Yeah. I was going to bring glass to eat, but I didn't have time to stop at the hardware store. Do you have to have special glass to eat? Light bulbs. Really? Yeah. As long as they work. Tasted light bulbs. Right, because I've seen people do that. And we had Danny Danger on our show. She did that. Danny Danger? I wish I was right. That's way too fucking close to my name. I'm calling out Danny Danger right now. Well, Danny Danger changed her name. What's that? She changed her name. That's right, because she knew I was going to call her ass out. She's now known as Tessa LaCoyle. Oh, I know her. Yes. Oh, okay. Wow, that was Danny Danger? That's Danny Danger, yeah. Thanks, Danny, for changing your name, sweetheart. Right, right. Appreciate it. Last time she was here, she laid on a bed of nails and somebody tased her. But she eats glass. That's awesome. Yeah, she's hardcore. And we asked her the next day or later on that night when it comes out. It's actually the next morning after the first cup of Joe. Okay, so you do that too. You know what? I did it twice in my life. I had the grief to try it, and I almost died both times, so I didn't. Right. Because I'm a fucking retard, and I was like, I almost died. So is there a technique to eating glass? Yes and no. There is. There's a specific way. Because our Dark Box show audience wants to know how to eat glass. There's a specific way to do it, but it's really more about keeping your body conditioned in order to pass this shit through your system. Because your average Joe that's just going to pick this stuff up and chew it for the first time and try it, like me, is going to almost fucking die. So how do you do it, Houdini? He's not fucking human. A lot of conditioning, a lot of just not caring too. A lot of the things I do are just like, well, I'm just going to do this and hope it works out for the best. But is it the same like Dee said, the first time you shit it out, you're like, ah! Oh, I mean, you know it's the glass coming out. Oh! Yeah, absolutely. You can see it in there? You can definitely know. If it depends on what you're storing, it's like... Well, if you can see corn, you can see glass. I mean, come on. Yeah. Let me tell you. Ooh. A lot of Foxy. Did you see the glass? A lot of Foxy. Yeah. A lot of corn. Yeah. Yeah. You know it. It's like disco balls coming out of your ass. Something like that. You know it. Yeah. It's like bedazzled doody. It's like bedazzled doody. It's fucking awesome. Shit. This is one thing. I'm going to put this statement out here. I've said this multiple times. I'm going to say it again. Look. Chicks are kind of used to this, but there is never a time for a dude to look down in the toilet and see blood. If that ever happens, there's a fucking huge problem. Like, for real. Also, so you're bleeding. Yeah. If you do it pretty wrong. If you do it wrong like an idiot, yeah, you're in a lot of trouble. Right. You're in a lot of trouble. I'm just glad you just do characters. You don't do these stunts. See, if you guys had talent like this guy. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. What's this shit? Oh my God. I just look like this all the time. I like him already. He's cool. How did you? That's a costume. So how did you get the audition for Rob Zombie's Great American Freak Show? Actually, I don't want to say it was a shoe-in, but it was a shoe-in between my Boston Spooky World and- Great American Nightmare. He knew the guy. Oh, okay. So he pretty much owed him. So he was like, hey man, you got to take one of my guys. He's moving out to California. You got to set him up. Oh, okay. Shit, I didn't know that. Absolutely. Yeah. So I didn't have to audition. I went there, but he's like, oh, you're Brett? Oh, you got the job. Yeah. I'm like- You're a scary motherfucker? Okay. Damn, I auditioned for two fucking weeks every day. Nobody paid me to show up or park or fucking- Well, I'll tell you what. Nobody called our show for Spike, but somebody's on the phone for Dangerous D. Oh! Oh, you're on the Dark Mark show. Hey, what's going on? This is Chris Scarborough. Oh, shit! Dude, what's up, man? Chris Scarborough! This is my buddy that got me in the side show. Yeah, yeah, you got the podcast too. I hadn't heard about this. Yeah. The host of the Curioso podcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, man. Well, I couldn't resist myself from calling in when you guys were talking about eating broken glass, because you were saying, how does it come out? And I'll tell you how it comes out. Sparkly. Oh. That's how it comes out. Sparkly. Glad to hear it. Sparkly, sparkly duty. I've seen this guy eat over a thousand light bulbs. Yes. So you're a light bulb eater from way back, Chris. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dee and I used to work together for a long time when he was here in Maryland, man. Right. We performed all around Baltimore, up and down the East Coast. But I didn't really come here to talk about me. I wanted to tell you my favorite story about Dangerous D. Oh, shit. I want to hear this. Okay. So we're doing a gig together, right? We're doing this gig, performing. We get done performing. We're kicking back, drinking a few beers, relaxing after the show. That sounds so unlike Dangerous D. Yeah, I know, right? Usually drink before the show. But I'm kicking back, relaxing. And they come up and they say, this Dunkin' Booth, they want someone to get into the Dunkin' Booth, the charity Dunkin' Booth. And he was like, you know what? I'll do the Dunkin' Booth. That's fine. So he rips off his shoes, pulls off his socks. We all look down at his feet. And he's got his toes painted freaking purple. Bright-ass purple. Then he rips his pants off. And he's like, well, you know, I don't have a bathing suit, but I'll just jump in my underwear. He rips his pants off and he's wearing a pair of freaking purple thongs. Yeah. Jumping in the Dunkin' Booth. That's Dangerous D. And we're throwing, you know, just nonstop throwing baseballs at Jack. So it's hilarious. That was the best. And actually, the best part of that story was that my first customer was Chris and his son. And they came up and got me. I was like, God damn it. I was like, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. That's great. You were the first to get that purple bathing suit wet. Sparkling purple toes in the water. He just wanted to knock me in that pool because that was embarrassing him. Jesus Christ. So, Nicole, you know the Curiosa podcast. I've heard of it. Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. So, anyway, Chris. All of you know the Curiosa podcast. Yeah. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. All of you, I'm going to post that up too, but all of you need to check it out. You definitely do. No, I heard about it. It's fun stuff. And you Dangerous D, just crazy people. I love it. I love it. So what's your specialty? Cause Dangerous D tells us every sideshow person has a specialty. He does the twist eye. Houdini knows the eyelids. What do you do? I swallow swords. I eat broken glass. I do all kinds of crazy stuff. But mostly I do strong man stuff. So I ripped Dexter Card. I rip phone books in half. I mean, mostly strong man feats are my kind of thing. And I'm a big dude, so I can usually get that kind of stuff done. Right. Curls up fucking frying pans. I know, I saw that. That was awesome. You actually bend frying pans? Curls them up like a burrito. Yeah, I roll up frying pans like a burrito. Oh, wow. I tried to teach Dee how to do it one time. His hand slipped off, and he slid his hand open on it. I literally should have needed stitches. I cut my hand on one of the sides of it once you crease it. The last time I was here, he tells us how he does his own injuries. I do. I'm my own doctor and dentist. You know what? He got a little tiny chunk off the end, just folded a little bit. You know? So, I mean, that's good for Dee. You know what I mean? Yeah, usually. Yeah, usually it's a fucking mess, though, from head to toe. And do you get hot chicks being the strong man? Oh, me? Oh, hell no. I'm married. Well, that's the thing. He is. He is married, and he is super faithful, but he is the Brad Pitt of fat guys. Chicks fucking love Chris. Chicks love Chris. I'm going to slide them all over to Dee until he's all happy now. You got to teach me your secret, Chris. You got to, because I'm like the John Goodman of fat guys. You know? It's kind of like. It's like, oh, it's the fat guy. He's funny. He's good. Yeah. Anyway, I think we got 10 minutes left in the show, and we got big stuff. All right, guys. All right. Let's go. All right. Be real. Hey, thanks for calling in, man. And everybody, yo, check it out. The Curioso Podcast. Christopher Scarborough. You really need to hear what this guy's got to say. He fucking kills it. Chris, give us a website where we can find this. www.thecurioso.com. Thecurioso.com. C-U-R-I-O-S-O. Awesome. Check him out. Thanks for calling in. My man, thanks for calling in, brother. Be good. All right. See you guys. Good night. Later, man. Good night, bud. Okay. Okay. So this has been sort of planned. We've got to keep going. We've got beers. We talked about it when we showed up. We don't know if this is actually going to work or not, but we're going to fucking try. That's good. We're going to give it a shot. I'm glad to hear this. You ready? We're ready. It's going to take a couple minutes. Houdini and Dangerous D are going to collaborate. You're going to explain what we're doing while we just try to give this a shot. And we're going to talk to Spike the Clown while we do this. So, Spike, now, you have been in the, I was looking at your IMDb page. You've got a couple movies coming out. I do, yeah. I just finished wrapping a small movie with Mooncore Films called Bun Bun. It's like a five-minute film. Bun Bun? Yes. What it's about, it's about two kids in their bedroom and everything, and they go to sleep. And, you know, there's monsters under the bed. Are you one of the monsters? Actually, I am one of the monsters, but I'm the monster. I'm surprised. There's a difference. There's a monster in the closet that protects the kids from the monsters under the bed. They have a deal with them, and it's a cute little story. And they're pretty ferocious, violent monsters. And, by the way, I just smelled something, and Darren just took off his shoes. And to prove that Chris was telling the truth. Right. My toes are painful. Green. Yes. And purple. There you go. There you go. So, I'm sorry. So, you're the monster in the closet that protects the kids. Absolutely, yeah. Okay. And Houdini has always interesting socks that match his shirt. All right. Here we go. Okay. So, that's... Glass walking. Walmart bucket. This bucket here is broken glass. Right. You want to... Let's... If you want to tilt it towards the camera, let's see. Yeah. That is... Those are broken bottles. We're going to pour this out onto the ground here. You're going to watch this, Nicole? No. Okay. How can you not watch the stuff we do? And this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to... Oh, man. That's sharp. Okay. I'm going to take a piece of this really sharp stuff, and what I'm going to do is spread this out all over. Okay. This blanket here. So, whoever the loser of this battle you're about to see, you make sure that they actually step in this. Okay. So, wait. Houdini's got the hooks, too. Okay. I know, right? We've never done this. We're going to give it a shot. Okay. This is something that if any of you listening, especially Spike, if you can come up with it, the name of what this feat is, we will coin it and let you know. But basically, what we're going to do here is I'm going to take these chains and attach them to my ears. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. D, can you turn the mic over to get it close to where you are? Okay. So, you're putting... Two, like, one-foot chains with two carabiners on them. I'm looping them through the piercings in my ear. Right. And what Houdini is doing is going to take these huge industrial fish hooks and put them in his eyes. Yes. He loves to do the eye stuff. Right. Right. I'm going to... Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. We're going to attach both carabiners. Okay. And we're going to have a tug of war. That's kind of sexy. On broken glass. On to the broken glass. The loser of the tug of war will be jumping onto the broken glass barefoot. Yeah. Okay. So, everybody... So, D's got the hooks in his ears. Houdini's going to put them on their eyelids, and they're going to do a tug of war over broken glass. This is how real men do it. Only on The Dark Mark Show. And by the way, don't try this at home. Right. Although, it's kind of a... Oh, there go the hooks in the eyelids. Oh, my God. I think we should look at this closer. Yeah, you might psych me out just looking at this shit. Hold on. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. All right, all right. Because eyes are more hardcore than ears. Spike, I need you to count this off for me, Spike. On your three, we'll start, okay? One, three. One, two, three. They're having a tug of war. They're having a tug of war. I don't know. D seems to be getting the better of it. Oh, my God. I don't know. He's coming back. He's coming back. He's coming back. Uh-oh. He's coming back. Oh, wow. They're doing it on two. They're doing it on two. They're ripping that lid out. See No Evil versus You No Evil. Oh, when the lids came out. When the lids came out, you got to put it back in. Now we got to start back over. Chin up. Chin up. Okay. Okay. Now they seem to be encouraging each other. They're really pulling at each other. It's Houdini. Houdini's in the lead. Houdini. Houdini. Houdini. D's coming back. D's pulling back. D's pulling back. D's pulling back. D's pulling back. It's a back and forth contest, ladies and gentlemen. It's Houdini. It's Dangerous D. It's Islands. It's Elops. It's Islands. It's Elops. Hey. Dangerous D wins it. Yeah. That was like a fucked up double dare challenge. Oh, my God. Thank goodness he didn't pull out his eyes. Jesus fucking Christ. Holy shit. But. Oh. I got two more. Houdini told me that he's not afraid of glass at all. That's what he said to me. All right. So you're not afraid of glass. So you're going to jump on the glass. He said he's not afraid at all. Houdini. Hold on. I got to get a picture of this. Okay. Put that glass right here. Hold on. Okay. Wait a second. So you. What did you see the floor? Hold on. We can't see the floor. Let me. Hold on. Oh, shit. Hold on. So. All right. So the camera can see. This is broken glass. I'm taking a picture of it. For posterity. You're going to jump on that. I see Corona bottles. Corona. I see rolling rocks. I don't see. Oh, Sierra Nevada's in there. I see all these beers. Okay. So I want to prove something here. Houdini told me he's not afraid of glass. Not only he's not afraid of glass. He told me this is this is pretty traditional size. Your feet, right? Right, right. No pun to be intended, right? Right. Basically, he told me that the glass does not smell like your feet, which is bullshit. Right. I told him that all the glass that I carry around, every time I smell somebody else's glass, it smells like fucking feet. Right. And he doesn't believe me. Nope. Take a. Hold on. You got to mark. Take a smell. Smell something. You smell something. I don't smell like feet and ass. Foot glass. I don't smell. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Fucking hell! Wow! Holy shit. You all right? Holy shit! Look out! Look out! It's fucking real! It's fucking real, folks! It's fucking real! Guadini! Guadini! Yeah! Now that shit real, folks. I want to hear everybody yell on that. That's not fucking real. That's not fucking real. That's not fucking real. That's not fucking real. That's not fake blood. This isn't WWE. This shit is real! Yeah! He's got a smile on his face. My man. My man. My man. Look at him. Woo! There might be glass on the floor. He's bleeding and he's smiling. We're going to have to sweep that up later. Just a little. Yeah. You're smiling and you're bleeding. I mean, that's normal after a show. I'm sure it is. And we're going to find that out on July 31st, 99. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. It's going to be at 7 o'clock at the CIA, the coolest club in town. There's going to be burlesque. There's going to be you guys. There's going to be... What else is it going to be? There's going to be me doing comedy. I'm going to do a clean set and a dirty set. Live music. Live music. Is that the one I'm going to be? Sideshow, all kinds of crazy shit. As a matter of fact, actually, this next upcoming show, the 31st, the three of us are going to be on it. Right, right, right. The show after that, me, Houdini, and Spike will be on that next one. Definitely. You want to look at the Beautiful Freaks on Facebook? Beautiful Freaks on Facebook. It's a variety show. It's produced by Little Miss Sideshow. Yes. By the way, Little Miss Sideshow, hot. She is awesome. Yeah, and she has a killer act, too. She's awesome. Bottom line is, dude, we do it the last Friday of every month at the CIA, the California Institute of Abnormal Arts. California Institute of Abnormal Arts. That's right. On Burbank. 11334 Burbank Boulevard, North Hollywood, California. We had Carl in. Yeah, we did. The owner of the CIA. I listened to that show. Yeah, that was Carl. Hey, ma'am. Hey, ma'am. Hey, Carl. If you're listening Friday the 31st, I would recommend coming to this show. Absolutely. Everybody, if you're in LA, that's the show to go to, and it's going to be fun. Do we come up with a name for that, Nicole? Did you name it? Ow. You're a fucking- Fisherman's Cove. Dude. What was it? Oh, she's got it. She's got it. Fisherman's Cove. Oh, there you go. There you go. Okay. How was it on the eyelids when you were getting pulled by Darren? It just looks worse than it is. It looks pretty bad. Yeah. I was going to say- It looks like that for me, but I mean, I actually, when I was on tour, I did the ear lift, and I was like, fuck this. I'm not going to do this ear lift anymore, and I started doing the eye lift so much better. Really? Which is unbelievable. I think it's way better. How was it on your ears? It sucked on the ears, because normally I'm used to going the opposite way, from down up, you know what I mean? Right, right, right, right. Not going this way, so it was a totally different thing, so it sucked. And I'll be honest with you, dude, those things were sunk so fucking deep into his eye socket. You've never seen it from that angle before. That's going to gross you out. Yeah, I mean, head on like that, it was fucking bananas. That was fucking wild shit. I can imagine. Could you see the insides of his eyes and stuff? Yeah, it's pretty long. It's pretty like rolled back, and it's just fucking all white and like red. Oh my God. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. It was rough. Ew. It was rough. Jesus Christ. Anyway, where does the time go? Take a drink. Take a drink. That was fucking awesome. No, Houdini stole the show. I just got to say, Houdini. Houdini. Dangerous scene's got to admit, Houdini stole the show. Fuck yeah. Blood steals everything. Greg Gustafson, you're going to be Spike the Clown. You're going to be all sorts of Halloween things. You're going to be at the Beautiful Freaks Variety Show next in August. Doing boy-lesque. He's going to fucking do some boy-lesque. Oh, you're going to do boy-lesque. Absolutely, yeah. I do that as well. He does it all. Very nice. What is your boy-lesque name? Malisha Sid. One word. Yes. Malisha Sid. Following on Instagram. Oh, you're Malisha Sid. I was wondering who that was. Yeah, yeah. And if people want to get a hold of you, how do they get a hold of you? You can find me on Facebook, Instagram. I'm always going to conventions too. I'm a huge horror fan. What's the next convention? It's going to be Scare LA. I'll be repping the Zombie Joe's Underground booth. Awesome. And when's that? I believe it's August the- 8th and 9th. 8th and 9th, yep. Okay. Yeah, it's coming. All manner of freaks will be there, so I hope you will be too. It's going to be a good time. I think I'm going to make an appearance. Greg Gustafson, very nice. Like last year. Spike the Clown, we like you. Definitely, you fit right in with this crowd. Dangerous D, I see you have the new Dangerous D t-shirts, which I like. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, look at that. What do you think of the design, Nicole? It's awesome. Good job. Dangerous D. So if you go to your website, which is darrenmalfi.com. It's D-A-R-I-N-M-A-L-F-I.com. Hit the merchandise page and there's tons of shit. My DVD, book I illustrated, t-shirt, stickers, buttons, all that stuff. Everything Dangerous D, you can see when the shows are. Come get your danger gear. Get the danger gear. Danger. So Houdini, how do people get a hold of you? Instagram. Yeah, basically. I'm a Facebook band hero. I'm like a mythology character in Sideshow. The funny thing is, right, he doesn't have a Facebook. You can follow him at Houdini1692 on Instagram, but dude, he has more posts and hashtags and shit about him than anybody else I perform with. Oh, I know, I know. I like, if you search like hashtag Dangerous D, which everybody should do if they ever, whatever. So I fucking, I look at it and it's like. But they're not all about him. Some are the rap group Houdini and some are the St. Louis. They're all him now. They're all him now. They're all him now. Those groups don't exist anymore. I took them over. Go to Nicole6.com and go to gothcomedian.com where you'll see all my upcoming shows. Everybody, have a wonderfully creepy week. Bye. Bye. Well done. Well done. Houdini. Holy shit. That was awesome. Excellent fucking job. Anyway, have a. Dude, we gotta work that in now. Dude, you took it well too. Have a, have a, have a wonderful. It's not that bad. Have a wonderfully. Not even as bad as. Have a wonderfully creepy week and bye. You don't bleed to the. I don't know. We're still talking. Oh my God. That's awesome. Hi, Jenny. Are we still on or. No, no, no. We're still on, I think. I mean. It's so dope. Oh, I signed off when you guys weren't looking. By the way, have a wonderfully creepy week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.