Tribute to Fauna with community stories and memories

Hi, everybody. Hi, everybody. Welcome to Intellectual Kink. Hi. How are you? I'm all right. I'm all right. I'm Insidious Muse. And I'm Service Slut. We have some guests. We do have some guests. We have Sanger, Audax Oceana. Hello. And we have the lovely Mistress Lily. Lily of the Valley. Lily of the Valley. I'm not truly from the Valley, obviously. Yeah, but that's how I remember her name. I did actually grow up in the Valley. Right. Remember when I named her that? She said, oh, I'm from the Valley, so that works. She's still on my phone as Lily of the Valley, by the way. Even though I actually know, like, all of her name. Yes. Trust. And we have a couple other people coming. Today's going to be a little bit of a different show. We originally had some guests to come on that were going to talk about Japanese rope and Japanese rope art, as well as a pretty well-known Japanese rope artist from Japan. And we are going to reschedule them. We're going to reschedule them for a month because we have some pretty serious news that happened in our community. There was a wonderful woman that has been on our show many times by the name of Fauna, and she suddenly passed away last night. And that sucks. But we really, really wanted to take this time to celebrate her. And I'm totally not going to get teary the entire show, I promise. Because, and I'm saying um because I'm nervous. Because she, for anybody who remembered her on the show, she's fantastic. And she's wonderful. And so this is our way of remembering her. I could not have done a show that was not involving her today. Because that would have just been really rude. So, um, that's what I have to say about that. Yeah. And I don't have tissue. Oh no. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's my own fault. The booth. Is running. They're looking for tissue. It'll be okay. It's my own fault. I think I have tissue. But I think when the booze is flowing, you don't really need tissue. It's true. She won't give it. It'll all blend. Tears and vodka will all be one. So as the lovely singer pointed out, Fauna's liquor of choice was vodka. So we have some vodka on the way. Yes. So we can toast her on. Because in LA you can get delivery. You can. And we had vodka at happy hour beforehand. Thank you, Jenny. Thank you so much. Hooray, booth. Engineer. Yay. So this came as a shock because as far as we know. Because it's a shock. Because it's a shock. We just saw her. We just saw her. You know. But not just that. She was young. You know, she just turned 40. That's fucking young. Yeah. And for all intents and purposes, she was healthy. It just doesn't, it baffles me. And active. And very active. She would walk. She would walk dogs. And man, that woman could beat a woman. A person. A man too. I would like to point out that it's like our year-iversary. Our anniversary. July 17th. I met you both. But I met Fauna that day because she beat the shit out of me. So I would love for you to tell the story. Because Sanger's story of how she met Fauna is truly indicative of the kind of person that Fauna was. This is something Fauna does to everybody. Yes. But to give everyone a little bit of background on Fauna. So Fauna can't even, and words won't even really describe what her impact was on the community. So she. Impact. So she was the coordinator for the Threshold Society, which as a lot of us know is a very long-standing. Cheers. 31 years. Older than Nancy. As Fauna pointed out on this show. It is a non-profit dedicated to the. Education and the support of BDSM. Yes. And so she was the coordinator, which means, you know, head honcho in charge, making shit happen, making people do stuff. She was nominated for. She was nominated at rather. Southland Honors 2014 for the Jeff Berman Community Service Award. And I remember when this happened. She was so. She didn't. She was so beside herself. She was floored. Mm-hmm. Like she's like, what me? What? What? What did I? I. Me? She was also one of the founding members of the Dom Scout troop of, of which most of us in this room are a member of. And she. Which is Kinky Girl Scouts, if you guys don't know. Yeah. And it's fucking awesome. And, and she. I'm not. Her philosophy was, was, you know. But that's your choice. It is my. I'm fine with that. But she, you know, she, all she wanted was to spread education. She wanted, she wanted to take over the world with that fucking troop. So. When she started. The Dom Scouts. Um. It was all about. Look. Everybody needs help. Everybody can learn something. I don't care who you are. Or what you are. And her entire idea was. Look. We're gonna look. We're gonna earn these goofy, obnoxious badges like Girl Scouts have on a sash. But they're gonna be kinky. And they do actually have kinky badges. And we're gonna do it together. I don't care if you've been caning or paddling or flogging for 20 years. You're gonna earn this fucking badge with us. Mm-hmm. And. That's what happened. And. You cannot. Understand. How bonding of an experience that is with a group of people. Even. Even when you're like. Shh. You know. Nobody can be like. I. I know everything. And. That's. That's the premise. That's what makes Dom Scouts so effective. Is that. Everybody's like. Oh. I don't know everything. I can learn. Hello. I silenced mine. Oh. Sorry. I'm sorry. Is that Booth? No. It's not Booth. Unfortunately. Um. I think also. The wine is. Good though. Thank you for the wine. You're welcome. And. Yes. Would you please endear us with your story? Okay. So. It is a fantastic story. My. The tiny tiny preface is. I've been active in kink a very long time. But it came back to LA. Solo. And I took my time getting. And I. Oh. Mm. Oh. There's this lot of things going on. Didn't do it. Didn't do it. And. Suddenly I'm like. Fuck it. I'm just gonna do it. And. I went out to a midweek party. That was only for women. At the time. And. I. I. Almost. Couldn't. Couldn't do it. Because there was no way to get in. I didn't know how to get in. And the other. There were two other people driving up. And I thought. Oh. I got a place. Kind of cool. Hey. You guys going to some kind of party? Hello. And they're like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to this kinky. Oh. Okay. Great. We got this. All right. So you don't know what to keep. Keep it on the down low. We go in. And everyone's kind of huddled in the kitchen. The chicken. The kitchen. They are huddled deep inside the chicken. That's another euphemism for fisting. For fisting. And I don't even know what's going. What do I do? Party. Party. I got this. I got this. And I figure like. Fuck it. I got nothing to lose. I could get rejected. I couldn't. I don't care. But I walk it. I mean. I see this woman who just reminds me. I mean. All I think of is a mountain. Like she had her fucking feet on the ground. And she's just not. Like. Yep. There's six people here. And they're kind of doing the. Oh. My name is. And I'm this kind of kinky. And I'm this very involved. And I have these many different title. Not titles. But identity. Identifications rather. And I was like. I'm a masochist. I want to get fucked up. Who can help? You know. Like. I want to get across the point that I was. I knew my shit. And I could play. And I knew how to throw down. And it's been a while. Could somebody help me out? You know. But. Hi babe. We have two. We have two more. Just enjoyed this. Ladies who have joined. Lizzie. Lizzie and Birdie. Birdie. Oh yeah. Oh you can't. We can't. Yeah. Okay. Anyway. So that was July 17th last year. Like. Almost right now. Stun. It just. Wow. Holy shit. And she's. And I remember her saying on this show. Like. I remember that night. I had no give a fuck. You know. And she didn't. And it was so awesome. Because she walked by me. And I kind of tug on her sleeve. And I was like. And I say. Hey. Hey. Can I see your toy bag? And it was on. And I think we fucked about for two. Three hours. I mean. It was amazing. And of course. It's like my first dance back. And you know. Getting it going. And I'm so. Fuck yeah. But. Not but. And. Rather. And you hit me. And you hit me. And you hit me. And you hit me. What? So there's a sidebar to your story. Oh my. The other perspective of that. Yeah. Do tell. So. We knew about this party. I don't know if it was the first of this. But it was fairly early on in this. When they did this midweek on women's party. But that happened to be the same night we used to do intellectual kink. And we were like. The party starts at like eight or nine. And we're like. The show is over at ten. Yeah. You know. Whatever. We're like. And the party ends at midnight. Okay. Fine. It's not anywhere convenient to our homes at all. But we're like. All right. We're going to go to this party. We were not. We were not super crazy about going to the party. But we were going. Because we wanted to support our sisters. That was the big thing. We wanted to support our sisters. So we went to the party. Cruising by. You know. Do the obligatory walk by all the rooms. See what's going on. Go to the kitchen. And then walk by out. And I walk out. And Fauna is beating this lady in the purple room. That's me. And Fauna goes. Mistress. But she says my real name. Because she knows my real name. And then she says. News. She says. Come here. Come here. This chick can take anything. I'm fucking exhausted. I'm fucking exhausted. Spank her. Hit her. Hit her. Hit her. It was a great night. And it wasn't even an option. Like I had to hit her. Okay. Okay. I'll come and hit her. And then I remember getting up to you. And like I was touching you. And then I kind of leaned into you. I was like. Is it all right if I hit you? And you're like. Oh yeah. Yeah. Totally. And so then I got to spank Sanger. And it was just. And that's not the only time that Fauna had done that with me. There had been other times where she was like. Come. Come. Do CBT on my boy with me. Let's do this. Let's. And she loved that collaborative kind of thing. She would get so excited. Like a puppy dog. She would get so excited like a puppy dog about these things. So many times. And it was the cutest thing. It was just. She had such a huge heart. She wanted to share all of the joy. And that's really what it came down to. Is that she felt so happy about whatever she was doing. And she wanted you to have just as much fun as she was having. And she just wanted to make everyone enthusiastic about it. It was infectious really. I think. For her it was. Oh shit this is fun. Oh shit that's fun too. And she talks about like. God no never needles. Are you fucking nuts. And wait a minute. What? I'll just give it a taste. That's right. And then suddenly like. I love the needles. I love the needles. Which is kind of on the same track as the CBT. Like. Oh wait if you poke this. It might be okay. You know. If you pull that. And oh wait I've got this cage. And wait there's sounds. And just. Oh that cage. Like. I know. I know. I know. If anyone can find the cage. I'll pay money for it. I want it so bad. But let's hear from. Don't know where it was. The ladies that just joined us. Hello ladies. No. Oh. You're on a radio show and you don't want to talk. What? Really? I'm being silly. It's all right. A little bit silly. She's just here sharing in the love. Share the love. We have alcohol coming if you'd like some of it. Yeah. Lizzie. Lizzie is actually having a fauna moment. Right? She is. Fauna. Fauna was big love, big heart and an easy cry. Oh my God. She was. She was. She giggled. Like I'm crying. On our drive over I was cracking stupid jokes and crying simultaneously. You kind of got a. What the fuck just happened? I know exactly. And I said. What the fuck just happened? And I said. I said I'm a horrible human. I literally am crying. Ugly crying. I'm a horrible person because I'm laughing. You know like I'm a horrible human being. Right? And. And Nancy goes. You know. Fawn would want us to do that too. And I said. But she wouldn't be able to crack a joke. She gets too emotional. And then it made me cry worse because what kind of a horrible person says that? But you know. And. You didn't say anything untrue. No. I didn't. But it wasn't mean either. No. And the truth was that. And I told you. Had she been the one crying. Yeah. She probably wouldn't be able to crack jokes. But she would have relied on you to crack jokes. That's true. She totally would have. That's true. Anyway. Because it sucks. What the fuck just happened is really what's going on. It's okay. You know I say this to other people that are grieving when it's not me grieving. And I say. Grief is for the living. Grief is about us. It's not about them. It's about us. And it's still okay. I know. It's not a bad thing. It isn't. It's a thing. And it has to happen. But it's about us. And. And. I've. I've discovered that. The bigger impact on us. When we grieve. Has everything to do with how we. Empathized and related. With the person that passed. And. Fauna was the kind of person. That everybody empathized with her on some level. So. And I was saying this earlier to Nancy. There's going to be a massive hole in our community. We've had a lot of deaths in the last couple years. For fucking real dude. But. I can't. I can't think of one that's going to leave the kind of hole that this will. It's just a true statement. You described this. This family. On our way over here. And I want you to tell everyone. So. She was in this family. So. Miss D is the matriarch. Fauna is the big sister. That. Bosses everybody around. And makes them do stuff. And they fucking hate her. But they love her at the same time. Like sisters are. And as is the little sister. That does. That does things. The big sister does. But she fucking. Gets pissed off. At her big sister. All the time. Because of it. We love you. We love you. We love you as. No. I love her so much. But it's true. And then like. Any of the other boards. When it was. When it was Phil. Phil was the. The brother that kind of like. Just left her off. Like. That's Fauna. You know. And did it anyway. And did it anyway. Because you did what your big sister told you to do. And that's just kind of. Who Fauna's always been. Before she was even. A board member. Before she was. You know. And it's not even just in threshold. It's just in our community. Which is why. Community. Community. Service awards come. All right. And it's one of those. Nominations. That's. That's. Now our family is missing a big sister. And that sucks. I think on the thing you said about grief. Being about us. And I think. The. It's hard to say. Yes. This is about me right now. I am bummed. To fuck out. Because I'm. It's about me. But. By the same token. It's still. Like. The truth. Like. And this is. A time to speak that truth. Right. And. The hard thing. About sudden. The sudden. Just. Wait. What. I mean. I'm going to. I clocked out from work. After two hours. Fuck this. I'm not going to work today. You know. Like. Fuck. This. Entirely. Like I saw. My phone ringing. I'm like. She doesn't call me. Something's wrong. And I answer the phone. What's wrong. And. I saw that. And I was like. But I was. My boss was literally right next to me. And I'm like. I'll deal with it later. I mean. I walked into my chief's office. And I said. I just said. What's up. He's like. You need time. Take it. And I'm like. Yeah. The sudden. Is just a gut kick. It's just a gut kick. So for those of you. That are listening. And want to call in. And share your own stories. It has to be a fun story. Please. It has to be a fun story. We can say fuck off. If it's not good. We're good. We're easy to say fuck off. We can totally say. And a funny one. The number is. 800-893-9562. We can call. You can also tweet us at the show. If. If you don't want to call in. But. And somebody should probably call in. And talk about what happened. At Carnal Carnival. Oh my God. Yes. I want to talk about it now. I'm looking at you. People at Brian's house. Oh please. I want to look at those pictures. I want to. I hope that video's there. I have a photo. Of me. When I put the pie in her face. You were awful. You were so bad. I was so. Okay. Okay. Everybody. Let's keep listening. There's a saliast in every masochist. We. At Threshold. Who shot? Threshold. Which is a non-profit. Therefore. They. They. They. Need. They need. Fundraising. And they need. Another way. In order to support. All of their outreach programs. So. One of their fundraisers. That they. They do every year. Is called Carnal Carnival. Funny right? I know. I know. I know. And at this particular event. Which was what? Two weeks ago? A week and. A week ago. It was. A week and a half ago. A week ago. Saturday. Yeah. Wow. That's. No. Two weeks ago. It was. How? No. We can have. The 12th. She. Fauna. Volunteered. For people to make donations. So. So that they could. It's called splashing. Right? They could. Splash her. Which for those who don't know. Is messy food play. So then. She was in. A pair of biker shorts. And a bra. In a kiddie pool. With goggles on. And she had. Whipped cream pies. Put on her. Chocolate syrup. Ketchup. You paid to get. To participate. Oh my. God. That's perfect. Cheerios. Oatmeal. Oat bran. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. Prune juice. Was there ketchup? Yeah. There was ketchup. And she almost vomited. You can call it a culinary assault. It was. Yeah. She. It was. And she was everywhere. Her breasts. She hates ketchup. And she was. Her face. And her hair. And it was. Until she was broken. She was broken. She. Her body. Her body language. She was like. She was totally slumped over. Oh. You broke her. See. I didn't give any money. Because I thought she hated it so much. And she's like. What the fuck? After she got drugged to the shower. So she can clean. Shower only has cold water. I think. I saw her at the night. And she didn't even smell bad. Which was surprising. And her hair looked surprisingly lustrous. Which makes me think. Perhaps ketchup is good for the hair. Nigga. And. She was just all smiles. Like she said. She's like. It was fun. She's like. Everybody had a good time. There was no malice to it. It was just. There was just ketchup. And prune juice. And apparently. That was it. That was foul. The prune juice. Who comes up with this shit? Hell of a picture by the way. Thank you. A sub. A sub. A sub. A sub. Says Nancy. That's fucking brilliant. But it was a scene. That everybody got to participate in. Whether you actually did or didn't. And that's the kind of thing. That Fauna did. Not just that scene. But like other things. Where. She really believed in incorporating. As many people as possible. She was very honest. She was very honest. She was very self-inclusive. To the point that it used to drive me crazy. As a co-leader of Dom Scouts. I am constantly that evil HR bitch. That says. No. Why? And she's just like. But everybody deserves a chance. And I'm like. You know. Because I'm the bitch. And she's the nice person. But that's not a bad problem for her to have. But I think that nice person comes from like. Well I wouldn't want to get that. Note sent to me. Oh are you. Oh. Oh. Da da. Da da. Da da. Check out that picture. On the camera. Fuck yeah. That was so much fun. That was so much fun. Who took that? Az took that. Fuck yeah, Az. If you can totally look at Birdie's tits, the shelf that she has as well, simultaneously while you're looking at Fauna, I think that that would be good for everybody. Birdie's holding my hand. I am. Hi, Birdie. Two masochists. Oh, I know. We're together. Can we come together sometime? Let's do it. All right. Nancy? You got two fists. I have two hands for lube. Make this happen. Double fisting. Here it is. We could note Fauna the best fisting doula. Oh, my God. She's insane. So I remember when we fisted here. Sammy. Yes, right there, in fact. And the concept to being the fisting doula was very foreign to Fauna. To everybody. It's a strange concept. Right. And she gloved up. She gloved up. She took that shit seriously. He took it seriously. So seriously. It was awesome. And so she gloved up. And she had the lube. She had her hands up like a fucking surgeon. And she was ready. She was ready. And she was very attentive. She's a way better fisting doula than me. And I had done it before. I was the play-by-player this time because it was on the show, right? And then... And she was... This was a different time. Oh, I know. But it's still funny. Oh, and so I'm doing the play-by-play. But it was one of those... She was just like... She was serious. Do you need more lube? She was right on it. It was awesome. She started rubbing Sammy's leg and everything. She did. She's all about calming them. Oh, yeah. Whereas I'm like, I have a dildo. Can we stick it in her ass? And the bottom's like, No! I'm like, God damn it. I remember one time you lent me to her because she was going to do a humiliation class for Femme Fatale. And I couldn't be there. And you couldn't be there. And I was really nervous because I don't... I don't know. I don't know. I've never done bottom to other people. I've never had her be like, Go and do this thing for someone else. But I trusted Fauna. I totally trusted her. And so... And I remember it was a very, you know... It was... Sploshy. It was very sploshy. Oh, that's very sploshy. Sploshy. Not splooshy. Sploshy. All right. But she was very... Very much all business, right? When it came to teaching something, she was, you know... She was always a goofball, but she always... She always was very much like, this is what it is. And I remember feeling a little bit nervous. And right before the whole thing, the actual demo part of it started, you know, she looks at me and she's like, Are you ready? Very calm. She knew I was... She knew. A little. Just a little bit. And then it was awesome. And then it was... There was so much awesome. And then afterwards, you know, she took me to, you know, go hose me off and shit. Which was also the awesome. Right. Awesome all around. But, you know, having that constant care for someone else, always thinking about somebody else before herself. Well, she was definitely the epitome of like a responsible top. You know, I... I had a really like pretty like traumatic incident happen to me at the beginning of the year. And I had to take a break from playing. And when I felt like I was finally ready for it, she was... She was the second person that I played with. And we had never played. And it was very impromptu. And we did our negotiations. And my whole thing was like, I knew that afterwards I would need aftercare. And I just needed like someone to take care of me, you know, and not feel abandoned. We had the most fantastic scene. Like same thing. I had her like sweating and panting. And she's like, Oh my God. What's happening? You know, and I'm sitting there laughing, laughing my ass off. I need to get out of my noises. She's like, she's so happy. She's like, look at your noises. You're amazing. I love this. And it was like, I felt so confident. And she was the first person that couldn't punch me. And it was amazing. She started going there. And I was like, oh. Something's knocking at my door. Hello, Flana. Hello. I think that's... We had the most wonderful scene though. And she was like, she was amazing and beautiful and so supportive. And even though she was there like doing her thing and her status was coming out and it was wonderful. But she was like, she knew. What had happened to me. And no matter what, she was taking care of me. I think that the saying, that what you said was as her as a responsible top and that you like committed to negotiating prior to just jumping into this thing. That was my experience too. And I think that's like a clinical thing, maybe that people skip. And that she was dedicated. The new person haven't played before. Let's make this work out. Because, and your fantastic scene and my fantastic scene with her, my first time playing. Not that none of the other ones were, but certainly, who the fuck is this little girl that showed up and what does she want? And she, okay, I'll hit her for so long. But I think the negotiation thing that she like, yes, I'm going to do that. And you and I both. She was very good at creating a very positive experience. It wasn't like, okay, so now we're going to like, what do you hate? What do you like? What do you, you know? I mean, she was, let's do this. How, you know, kind of by the books. And your fantastic scene came from that communication. And that, is seriously legacy. Like that's something that will stick around. Well, that's a legacy, but it's not just about being a responsible top. She was responsible top to the community. She really was. So she made Dom Scouts, part of her commitment to Dom Scouts was community service. Everybody has to give back. You don't just get to come and take. You have to give back. You have to teach. You have to volunteer your time. And I think when you talk about the whole to the community, that sort of, that's a really big one. And I think if she was here, she would say, yes, I'm not around. So now it's up to all of you to step up. Right. Well, you know, it's funny. Cause like I talked to a lot of people today, in my circle who never met her, but they had all heard of her. Like, and they knew exactly what kind of void, you know, she was leaving and they just, they just knew. And those who even knew her briefly, same thing. They were just like, what? You know, it's, she, even if you didn't know her, you knew her. And you knew of her. And it's sort of behooves everybody to emulate those qualities. She's not around, but she's left behind a lot of qualities that we all want to emulate and should. Fucking clown shoes to fill. My last photo with her was her and her clown makeup. Right. Which I loved. Cause I love clowns. And I loved her. I still love her. She was a terrifying clown. She was amazing. I love clowns. There is no such thing as a non terrifying clown. I love clowns, but she's sadistic clowns and she was so good. I loved her. I just wanted to hug her and pinch her little clown cheeks. The first time I saw Fana, I didn't know it was Fana cause she was in her clown suit and I walked into threshold and there was this big blonde clown standing there. And I'm a pretty brave person, but I walked in and I went, ha ha, I don't know. That's pretty terrifying. She was amazing. She was a great person. So, um, there was a boy who wanted to serve Fana and, um, she gave him very specific direction to get a cupcake, a specific kind of cupcake, a very simple cupcake, a white cupcake with white frosting and sprinkles. That's it. Very, very simple. He showed up with a dozen super duper fancy cupcakes from a super duper fancy cupcake store. Not more than that. One of which was a white cupcake with white frosting and sprinkles. And she said, what does this do for me? This is not service. This is showing off, which is not what I asked for. So sent him away in shame. I don't know how much longer later he barely begged for a chance to come and begged for her forgiveness. Could he please do it right this time? She said, this is it. It's your last chance. So you can't fuck this shit up. Um, and so he brought in this huge white cake cupcake with the white frosting and those like dot like sprinkles. They look like little confetti. And I have never seen somebody so happy to eat a boring fucking cupcake in my life. Fana was so happy. And I don't think it was about the cupcake. I think it was because he listened. He learned. He, he followed, he followed the directions. And it was, it was just so entertaining. I'll never forget the white fucking cupcake with the white goddamn frosting and the fucking sprinkles. Which was the birthday cupcakes. Which I fucked up. Which she fucked up. Are you poppin? That was supposed to be the birthday cupcakes. I was like, remember what kind of cupcakes she likes. And every sub's like, well, everybody likes chocolate. Well, apparently not. I would like to speak for the gluten free of us. The gluten free. No cupcakes. Have a birthday cupcake. I'm a dom. Poppin candy? No sugar. No sugar. Well, but that's gluten free. Please bring bacon. No, I'm not a dom. It's okay. Bacon. Bacon. Lily of the valley. She likes, she likes salami. I do like my, my meat. Look, I ate a pound of that burger and you only ate a half. That's, I got talked out of it. I ate the whole mother fucking little teeny tiny thing. I gotta say, Sanger, it was really hot to watch. I'll eat it again. And it was stuffed with cheese. It was stuffed with peppers. I don't know what the fuck else was stuffed with. No, you put on the best burger on the planet and you need to go to the Outlaw Cafe. That's where we were. That's where we were. Outlaw Cafe, Van Nuys, the best fucking burger you'll ever get. You watch me eat it too, but only Lily thinks it's hot? Is that what you're saying? I'm so. They are not our sponsors of why I. We just like them. I can name all sorts of food places. But if you're interested. Hot beef injections. Hot beef by the pound. Yeah. Hot beef by the pound. Something. Anyway, if your Dom says no gluten, no sugar, don't bring her a fucking cupcake. It's true. It's true. Or. Or if they're vegetarian, don't bring them bacon. To what? Bacon is the gateway meat. It's fine. It is. No, it's not fine. That's why it's the least fine. Sometimes we put bacon in chocolate. I have expressed, it said, negotiate and find out. It's true. Before you fucking bring the cupcake. It's all about communication. Like all of your shows. It's true. All of our shows. It's true. All of our shows. The root, the root is communication. She always liked coming on the show. She loves. She says, when do you want to come on the show? You know what? Last weekend I said, hey, when do you want to come on the show? And I even talked about it. She goes, oh, I have a board meeting. Oh, all right. Well, next time, definitely we got to get you on the show. She was the head of the shit. Why didn't she just rearrange the guy? No, I'm just kidding. A little bit. I think because she was being courteous to the other board members. Oh, sorry. Other board members. So, I brought, I brought my ukulele. Because Fauna used, Fauna played the ukulele. And we used to talk about playing the ukulele together. We never actually got to. But I used to bring it to the club sometimes. Are you tuned up? And could you play something for us? I probably am tuned up. Do you need more mics? Our friend Birdie is aptly named Birdie because she is a songbird. So, that's a, you know, that is, that is secondary to why she is here. That works. Okay. So, I'm going to play a song for you. Okay. So, I'm going to play a song for you. Okay. So, I'm going to play a song for you. Okay. So, I'm going to play a song That works. Okay. You bring up some of the lyrics. Because. Yeah. I'm bad. I'm bad at that, too. Careful. That mics can't be too close. Oh, sorry. You'll get feedback. So, the ukuleles are very small. You realize. I'll hold it over here. I play left handed. So, it works out. I believe you. I'm not the one. It's still. Somebody else. Is that a phone. It's not. It's not. and fist somebody? Right? It does sound like it's oddly far away in some cavernous hole. She said hole. Some holes are less cavernous than others. This is true. Jeez, Birdie. It doesn't have anything to do with morality. Tweet, tweet, Birdie. All right, let's see if this will work. Oh, shit, sorry. Oh, that's okay. Seriously. That's okay. Fuck you. Pull out a china shop. God, we can't take Sanger anywhere. No, we really can't. Fuck off. In dragger places. No, you're not. Nobody's running a thing. All right. My phone's locked back, so I... What? Your phone's locked? Hmm? What do you need? I'm just gonna prop it up really quick. Oh, I was gonna hold it for you. Oh, thank you. My goodness. So helpful. Does it... She's a helpful Honda guy. Does it... Join this wonderful group. I'm crying. Okay. You're good. So are you. Oh, thank you so much. Stop talking. This is for Fauna. Wherever she is. Hopefully here with me. Playing her ukulele next to me. So there are the chords. Look over my shoulder. For you There'll be no more crying For you The sun will be shining Cause I feel that When I'm with you It's all right I know it's all right And the songbirds Are singing Like they know the score And the songbirds Are singing I love you, I love you, I love you like never before. To you, I give the world. To you, I'd never be cold. Cause I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright. I know. It's alright. And the songbirds are singing like they know the score. And I love you, I love you, I love you like never before. And the songbirds are singing like they know the score. So because everyone here is really crying, I'm going to remind everyone of a story Fauna told on this show about listening to a couple fuck. What? Oh, my God. Yes, best Fauna story ever. And she was like. I think about her every morning. Because I hear them every morning. So she talks. We're out of focus. Look at that. How do we get back in focus? Oh, they'll do it. Hi, thank you, Booth. So Fauna sitting in this chair tells a story, and I can't do it nearly the justice she does. But the moral of the story, the beautiful couple she thought were having. No, you're telling it wrong. You're telling it wrong. I know. I just said I was going to tell. I'm telling it wrong. Fauna, I will tell the story. See how I changed that up, and everyone's giggling and fucking me off and shit like that. So Fauna lives in an apartment. That was amazing. And upstairs from her lived this great big black boy and this little teeny tiny Asian girl. And he always imagined what sex was like with the two of them. And one morning she wakes up, and she's in her bed, and she's lying there, and she hears this sound. She's like. And she's like, they're getting it on. And so she's like, huh. So she. You know, gets out her stuff and starts doing her thing by herself. And she's like, yeah. And she's like, they're keep going. And like, there's like, come on. Yeah, yeah. And she's totally getting it. And he's giving it to her. And yeah, and it's keep going. And so Fauna has her beautiful masturbation moment, and she has an orgasm. She's like, oh, that's nice. And then when she's done, she still hears the sound. She's like, god damn, they're still going. Shit, man. It was true what they say about black guys. And little Asian girls. And so she's sitting there and listening and still hearing it. And slowly it starts dawning on her. There's nothing changing about the sound. What? What is it? And then she realizes that it is, in fact, morning doves outside her window making the sound to which she just masturbated. Best story ever. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. It was funny. Hi. We'd love to hear. Az is here too. Hi, Az. Hi, Az. Say hi. Hi, little sister. Hi, guys. It's Az. Hi. We love you. We love you too. Do you have a Fauna story? You're going to be drunk. We'll be there momentarily. We will. We're spending the night, FYI. Okay. She's got floor. So, Shiva, did you have something you wanted to share about Fauna? I did. I did. There was a... Can you guys hear me okay? I'm on speaker. No problem. Okay, great. I mean, there's so many to choose from. Honestly, it was really Fauna that got me back into the scene. You know, she was always so happy to see me and so encouraging. And she never said no to me. And she always made me feel like everything I ever wanted to do was... It's totally possible and that I could do it. And in that time, that was literally, like, the thing I needed the most. But on a really, you know, sexy note, I think my favorite Fauna moment is... It was at a party one night. And it was pretty late. It was, like, almost 2 in the morning. Party was almost over. And I walk by, I think it's the medical room. And I see her gesturing like she's fucking a guy in the ass. It was like a dildo. I looked down. And it was a big metal cock. It was big. And she was just going to town on this dude. And I am like, holy shit, what the fuck? I triple take and I, like, watch myself between the doorway to watch. There she do. And she must have heard me because she turns around and looks at me. And I think, oh, you know, I was about to be like, oh, I'm sorry I interrupted you. But she was never like that. And she just puts this wicked grin on her face. And does, like, a big... Thumbs up. Nice. Thumbs up back at her. And I made, like, a rock on kind of face. And someone walked by me. And they're like, oh, what's going on in there? I'm like, oh, I'm kind of getting sucked in the ass. It's a metal dildo. Like you do. So it was a... It really embodied her nature. She had so much fun with her kink and her sexuality and exploring herself. It was never a dull moment. And it was never... It was just always so fun. And it made her so happy. It was infectious. Like, even if she was doing something that you were totally not into, you just had to watch. Because it was just so fun to watch her have fun. I think I want to... This is Sanger, by the way. Hi, Shiva. Hi, Sanger. And I really think that she saw that same, like, joy, giddiness, let's do this shit in you. Like, and she sort of kind of... I mean, I saw that happen with the two of you. And you just... She... Like... There's an heir apparent thing going on there. Like, you really dug how much you could just sink your teeth into shit and enjoyed the shit out of things. So, like, that's something from a really far off observation, too. Just not even up in that shit. But I know... I appreciate that so much. Well, sure. She was always so fun to be around. And it was infectious. You just had to have fun with her. She's a go-big. She's a go-big or go-home kind of a person. No, it's just... It's just a go-big or get-bigger. Like, anything came. Like, every time I walked by that door whenever she was playing, there was always something really crazy going on inside. It was never boring. Ain't that the truth? I think we have abrasive women who have that kind of thing. And that's our, like, sisters in arms with her. Is that... Yeah, fuck it. We're going to do something. But, you know, she was our fucking trail... Trailblazer in that way. She really was. She really was, yeah. Really? No, I have Tina here, too. I think Tina would like to share a fun story. Please. Hi, Tina. Hi. Wow, long time, Tina. Nice to hear you guys again. Yeah, it's nice to hear you, too. Please share. My favorite... My favorite final story was about three Halloweens ago, and she dressed as a belly dancer. Oh. She's quarantine flogging very well, singing Phantom of the Opera very well, and belly dancing very well, all at the same time. And I'm sitting there watching her going, damn, she's got talent. It was one of the greatest things I've ever seen. I've never seen that much talent in one person. That's a lot of ethnic combination, too. It is. We're going to miss her desperately. Really going to miss her, too. I'm a DM, and she's been the head of the DMs for a long time, so we're going to miss her there, too. Brother. Big shoes to fill. Yeah. Clown shoes, though. Clown shoes. Clown shoes. Yes, true. All right, I'm going to give the phone back. All right. Thanks, Tina. It adds, I'm just going to share the look on her face when I was working on Sing or when I was working on... I was working on the first piece of your arm. It came in. Yeah. And it totally sketched her out. To let everybody know it was... Hold on. It was flesh removal, so people understand why this might have sketched somebody out. Yes. It was flesh removal. Should I flash it? Yeah, put it on the screen. So we did the second half. Yeah. She just made this scared look, a shocked look, and then did a little dance with her feet before running out of the room and then coming back to look again. Yeah, she was like... I remember... I remember... I remember... I remember... I remember... I remember... I remember... I remember her having that look before needles were done, too. I hate it. I love it. I must have it. Yeah. It was a little dance that got me. She's like, oh, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. And back. All right. Thanks. Aw. Thanks for the call, sweetie. We'll see you later. Bye, darling. Bye. All right, bye. Bye, guys. Bye, everybody. Apparently, we have another caller. We have another caller. Can I say something? Go back drinking. Have fun. Bye. See you soon. I just want to say, it just dawned on me that, you know, Fauna had socialings. She had social anxiety. She shared with me. And I think it's so amazing that a person who had such severe social anxiety has touched the lives of so many people. You would never know it. No. She always had a smile on her face and always was positive. Always interacting. I just... It suddenly struck me how many people she's touched for somebody who was kind of afraid of people. It's really amazing. So, we do have another call. Next caller. And I'll just warn you right now, caller, be quick. We don't have a lot of time. It's Pity Taurus. Sorry. Pity Taurus. That's all right. Wow. Hey. Oh, no. I just wanted to say hi to you ladies and, you know, share a little Fauna moment, which I think two of you were there to see. Oh. Which two? Well, you know, her little fascination with Honey Boo Boo, right? Yes. Yes. And I had to buy that little crown for her. Aw. Oh, my gosh. I just... She loved it so much. And I wanted to go and buy a bigger one for her. She really did. She loved that tiara. Oh, she loved it. That tiara is in her apartment with all of her really, really special things next to, like, where she has her prayer section. That tiara means a lot to her. Yeah. Yeah. And it meant that much to her because that area in her apartment was a very sacred area for her. Where she went to be at peace and to meditate. And she kept things that had a lot of love contained in them. And that was definitely one of those items. And Toria? Yeah. I'm just glad that I was able to put that smile on her face when I gave it to her. And I think Az... I'm hoping Az still has that picture of her because it was priceless. So, sometime after that, Fauna and I were talking and she confided in me that that crown and then the adulation of the troop afterwards were what made her so she didn't quit. Yeah. She was on the verge of quitting. Wow. And it was that moment that she realized, I can't quit. These people are counting on me. So, I don't know if you're aware of how powerful that was, but it was really powerful. Oh, my gosh. That means a lot. Yeah. Yeah. She was one of the few people that I met when I got into the community and she welcomed me with huge open arms and I'll never forget that. She was our kink ambassador. She really was. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I... Like I said, I wish I could have gotten her the bigger crown because I was definitely looking for bigger and better for her. Go big or go home. That's the Fauna way. Yeah. Exactly. It seems like it did just the trick. I mean, it seems like it was perfect no matter what. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Tori. Will we see you Friday? Friday? I'm going to try to make it out there. Yeah. Okay. Look for an email. We're going to do something on Friday as a memorial. I love you guys. Love you too, honey. We love you too. Bye. Bye. I don't know what time it is. I can't see. Friday is a party at Threshold called Femme Fatale. So, this is a party that the troop puts on every month. The Dom Scouts troop. Yes. To which we have been referred. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yes. Yes. That big deal from before. Yes. So, we're going to do something on Friday. Yes. So, every month, different members of the troop step up to organize the class, to host the party. And Fana was always like, you got to stay until the end because you got to clean and you got to do this and you got to do that. And I know for her, it was a big deal to kind of let people take on those responsibilities. Two years ago, she did it all. She did it all. Beginning to end. Yeah. And it was a really big deal for her because, you know, so much of it was her baby. And so, we're all going to do something. We're going to be there. Threshold in North Hollywood. Google Threshold North Hollywood, you'll find it. You'll totally find it. It's not like it's a speakeasy. It's on Google Maps. And so, hopefully, you know, most of the troop is going to be there and we'll have our sashes on. And for those that are listening and those that aren't in the troop, we'll have our sashes on and we're going to put a black satin ribbon across the Dom Scouts. A embroidered badge because that's appropriate. Absolutely. Well, I'm going to go find ribbon. Probably in San Jose, but I'm going to find ribbon. There's ribbon. It happens. It's okay. I bet Az has ribbon. Az has ribbon, but she uses that to... To do her ribbony things. That would be like Az ribboning me with needles. A year ago. We have just a few minutes left. I just... I really want to say that, you know, we talked a lot about Fauna and about, you know, what kind of a vibrant, jubilant woman she was. Fauna was complex like any human being is. She had her highs, but as high as her highs went, she had her lows. And what I want everybody out there to understand is that we're all complete and whole people. And just because you look at somebody and they're smiling constantly doesn't mean that at some point they're not having some kind of pain. So, sometimes we become... We become very consumerist in our relationships where we realize what we get from the other side, but we forget to give back. And if there's one thing that I've learned from Fauna is that it's really important to give back. And if this isn't a reminder, I don't know what is. So, that's me being sappy. Fuck you. I could still be a sadist and be sappy. No one said that you couldn't be sappy. And nobody said that. Nobody said that. Nobody said that. Nobody said that. Nobody said that. Nobody said that. Nobody said it was poorly stated. It was beautiful. On that thought, the thing that kind of kept... The first thought I had when I heard the news this morning was that I remembered that she had written this really, like, personal and vulnerable journal entry a couple days ago. And I remember the comments. And they were just... They just showered her with so much love and support. And I just kept thinking, she left knowing that she was loved. She left, like, completely and 100% aware of how much people actually loved her. If she didn't know, she knew now. You know? Because we came in droves and told her. That day, I was telling you earlier in Asnos, I happened to be in Hollywood in a parking lot near her house. And I thought, I won't call her because I'm sure she's sleeping. Because that post was like, I gotta get to sleep. And I saw her. And we went back to her apartment, which was a couple blocks away. And we spent a couple hours chatting. And I thought, I didn't call her because I didn't want to wake her up. And here she is, putting her arms around me. Like, no big fucking deal, right? But, yeah. Left totally. She did. She knew. She knew. I'm going to try to actually say something and get through it. Lizzie. Hi, Lizzie. Hi. So, I demoed, bottomed for her for the last class that she did, which was... Humiliation class. And it was a really big deal for me because that's always been like, I am on my hard limit list. And she was so... It was because it was fauna that I agreed to do it. And at the end of the class, the last thing she had me do was get on my knees and kiss her boot. And of everything I did that night, that wasn't humiliating. Humiliating. I was happy to be down there. And later she told me the look on my face when I did that. She was like, oh. It was great. And that's how I saw fauna. I would kiss her boot any time I saw her again. I didn't make it. Sorry. And you took the whole room with you. Yeah. Nice. No. So if you didn't know fauna, be sad because you should have. I can't tell you how many people I saw on FET or that message or text or whatever. And they said, I only met her once, but I really wanted to know her. Or I really remember her. You know, it only took one time for them to meet her, for them to make an impact, to have an impact made on their life by her. Okay. Can we also just say a quick note of support to... Yeah. To her boy? Yeah. I mean, he's being taken. I don't want to put his name out there. No, no. We don't have to, but I just want to say that people are thinking of you if you... Real quick, we got to round up. Round up. We got to wind up. Wind up. We are on the Twitter at King Electual. I'm at Insidious Muse. I'm at Service Lab. She's Audax Oceana. Who are you on Twitter? I'm not on Twitter, but I'm on FET. Bird on the Brim. Bird on the Brim. Lizzyland on FET. Lizzyland on FET. And Lady Maleficent. Lady Maleficent on FET. So... Um... We'll be funnier next time, I promise. Where? Bye. Good night.