Porn trends with Dr. Dingus, plus music and antics

Hi, this is Jell-O Biafra. What should you rather have? A pint of booze if you're a recovering alcoholic, or a pint of cacophony no matter what or who you are? Speak into the mic, bitch. Say that into the microphone. Keep on rockin' in the free world, and I mean rock, not hot punk. Not indie poo. Not middle-of-the-road, Miley Cyrus-y dreck. You're a freak with a microphone. Oh, mama. Hey, ladies and shitheads. Welcome to episode three of A Pint of Cacophony. My name is Dan. I think you know the drill by now, so we're just gonna get into it. There's this band called the Vimdicta. They're a three-piece. I think they're a three-piece. They're fucking badass. They played Anesthetic Frank's record release last year, and they're up to a ton of stuff these days all over the place. This is one of their older songs. I'll be playing some of their newer stuff or most recent stuff within the next couple of weeks, but I really like this song, and Corey's voice is the shit. Girl's got pipes. This song's called Lucky Strike by the Vimdicta. Thanks, Sean. You got it going on strong, baby. Skin so soft and hair so right. I think you're nice too, Sean. Take off this shirt of yours and see that beauty your mama has given you. Ooh, so fine. So right. Sean, you're so silly. What's going on with these little silk panties, baby? Let me slowly slide them to the ground. Oh, yeah, baby, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's my turn, Sean. Let me take down your pants. Ooh, is that what you're going to, baby? Why don't you put those soft, sweet hands on my jimmy-jimmy? On your what? On my manhood, baby. No, wait a minute. Did you say jimmy-jammer before? Well, I guess I did. I gotta go. No, no. Are you sure about this, baby? Yeah, later, King Jimmer-Jammer. Yeah, because I'll call you. Damn! Wow, baby. Here comes the wonder of soul sideways It shakes and breaks us through the night And it's a little bit cold You pick out and like a silence It will not stay You're fighting, fighting, fighting inside You've been wanting, wanting I've been wanting, wanting You've colored my desire Can't erase us from a dream Working for what we are, spiraling Constantly what we ignore You can hide it like a long way is insane You need it, you need it, you need it inside Ooh, you didn't want it, didn't want it Oh, I didn't want it, didn't want it Colored by desire Ooh, you didn't want it, didn't want it Ooh, I didn't want it, didn't want it Colored by desire Ooh, I didn't want it, didn't want it Let your feelings, baby, change this turn Skin is turning on you Out through your nerves Let the drowning The edge of night Let the drowning Let your weakness Oh, I'm surprised That a day like this Can start over Can start over Can start over Can start over Can start over Can start over Can start over Can start over Can start over We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. Oh, oh yeah I wanna fuck you today Yeah Yeah Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you You're cool And fuck you, I'm out You're cool And fuck you, fuck you, fuck you And fuck you, fuck you, fuck you And fuck you, fuck you, fuck you When she was born Wizard of War There is no mercy In his eyes He looks at us With black disguise Respecting all the Lies he's lived He knows his day Will come again Oh, better Know Running through That cage of Blood and stone Oh, oh, oh Exit from the Sanctuary So You can see What's wrong Wizard of War Wizard of War Wizard of War Oh Oh You're listening to Pinecacophony My name is Dan We just heard Orchid That's the Wizard of War And then Huntress Before that That's a band from Highland Park They're pretty fucking badass It's called I Wanna Fuck You to Death Before that It was Uncle Asin Deadbeats I'll Cut You Down It's a really great track And then we opened up With the Bim Dicta Right now We have somebody From episode one Stopping by again He's Dr. Richard Dingus Dr. Dick Dingus MD PhD pending I don't know There's some legal stuff Going on with that But legal He'll get it all worked out And he's here Because he's put together This survey With lots and lots Of research And he came up With the six Pornography trends Analyzed by Dr. Dick Dingus MD PhD pending Of 2014 So I guess I got it in front of me too And we're gonna switch off On these Go for it Let's hear this What's number six? Alright Number six On the porn threads From across The globe Number six Nintendo players Love hentai And they're And I've gathered this After months of research Pornhub's Numblestaticians Have come to The informative conclusion That gamers love porn And will use their consoles To watch A critiqued Version of that And they've broken This down This data down To different types Of systems Substant consoles If you're a gamer At that So what they got For the top ranking Porn searches Of the world You got For Xbox The number six Number one ranking Porn searches Teen That's what they type In the computer When they're going Looking for their fix PS3 Has got MILF As the same As the PS4 Now Nintendo Wii This is where The whole hentai Thing comes into They rank Number one In their Search engine searches And that's What's going on Nintendo ranks Highest in porn searches With Nintendo Wii Alright Let's get this Go to number five Number five seems to be Rich people spend Less time masturbating Than poor people The top High income cities In the US Invest significantly Less time In watching porn Than their less Fortunate counterparts Presumably because They're not spending Eight hours a day Sitting at home And typing feverish One handed phrases Into a free Nudity search engine Well I guess All that time I'm over at work Most of you guys Are out there Just beating off What's number four Number four It's 2004 And we are still Thinking incredibly Nationalistic About our porn Alright Surprisingly The top search term People around the world Enter the locations Their optimal Boner lullaby Isn't a specific Sect act Or piece of Female anatomy But rather Their country of origin Check this out Top three search terms In different countries As of 2010 We look at first England Tops to reach Porn hub Search engines And the What they type in When they look for Their figs Number one England searches For British Very typical Topical And all that kind of stuff Scotland Is looking at Lisa Ann Now this You will see this Very often She is the one That's in Nailing Palin The parody of Of course Vice president That was running The previous Sarah Palin Northern Ireland Lisa Ann Once again Hey what do you got When you look at Wales Top UK Top searches By country For porn hub Another Lisa Ann And then we look back America Top searches Top three Teen Cream pie What a surprise Simple minded Of course Simple minded And then of course The last MILF Wow Alright Mexico's got teen And guess what What's the last one Lisa Ann Jesus They're a kingdom United by Masturbating to Lisa Ann Yes Alright well let's go On to number three Felix Baumgart His space jump Increased porn traffic Because we were bored Apparently Back in late 2012 Felix Baumgart I rode up to the edge Of space In a jump balloon And then jumped Streaming everything Live on the internet Via camera Attached to his helmet Ten thousands Of these viewers Watched him do it But apparently We were watching it With more than one Window open In our browser That's right His space jump Made us all watch More porn Why Simply because We were bored See his flight Up to the stratosphere Took several hours And that was After the flight Had already delayed One or two hours We had promised ourselves We'd see him jump From space But we couldn't wait We couldn't hold it off We didn't expect it To take five God damn fucking hours So we all opened up Porn up Just to pass the time Jesus Number two Florida Masturbated The most During the polar vortex What is the polar vortex I have no idea During the peak Of the recent Polar vortex We recorded Increasingly Activity Over the affected states As people Stayed Indoors And furiously Wilted Their underpants Meat to stay warm But Florida Demolished Everybody else In terms of Time on site And pages per visit Clocked in At more than Double the state In the second state Basically As it got colder People were affected And they had to react To do whatever Best to satisfy Their needs Masturbate Alright the last one You got Written here This is my favorite fact It's funny that you Landed on number one With this You thought this was The most interesting Number one Here we go Of course The entire world Watches the most Porn on Mondays Beginning of the Beginning of the week Today as a species We have all decided That Monday Is porn day Speaking of the week How do you get Through your week It makes total sense After sleeping in And goofing off On Saturday and Sunday The first day Back to work The most depressing Thing imaginable So we play While my genitals Gently weave By George fucking Harrison Harrison Harrison Alright man I appreciate the research Sounds like it took A lot of your time And we love hearing it Cause you know Like they said Science Science Let's get back Into some music So up Right here we got Sleeping in the darkness They're this band That's playing With my band actually Anna St. Frank At the Cobaside Distribution Um Barbecue That's February 8th This Saturday From noon to 6pm And you can Just like they say here Eat, drink, shop Wax It's a record It's like record distribution Center that's open February 8th For these barbecues Once a month They have live music And you can shop From the shelves It's like the greatest Final ever It's the coolest shit Mark your calendars It's free They always have free grub There's plenty to drink And badass music That's Saturday February 8th Noon to 6pm And here we go Let's play some Slippin' into darkness I don't even know What the fuck I'm saying Hey Lady Oh! Lady Oh! Won't you just be mine You say you got it good Oh my baby Oh Now it's time to Say goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Now it's time to Leave it alone Hello Hello Hello Hello Hey Lady Oh divine Got me lost in town You gave me peace of mind Made my living cry And now I'm alone And now it's time to Say goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye And now it's time to Leave it alone And now it's time to Leave it alone Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo Hey, you wanna get high, man? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And take that away But yet you say I shouldn't stray What do you expect When it's all your way I can't stand And wait while you Go out to play I can't stand And wait while you Go out to play Go out to play You ain't as good of a little speed, are you, man? Hey! Been trying to match you Must be a devil Between us A horse in my head Horse at the door Horse in my bed But hey! Where Have you Been If you go I will surely die But you Ain't But you Ain't But you Ain't But you Ain't But you Ain't But you Ain't But you But you Ain't But you Ain't But you Ain't But you Ain't But you Ain't Ain't Ain't But you Can't Can't Can't Can't Can't Can't Can't Dav Dav Dav Dav Dav Dav Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Set the man to the lady, mmm Set the lady to the man she adored And the whores like a choir, uh-uh All night in Mary, ain't you tired of this, is the sound That your mother makes when the baby breaks Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands Put your hands, put your hands, put your hands That was just Steve Delameter doing Hey by the Pixies. And before that, Free Range Humans doing Venture Plans, Man Man Life Fantastic, and Slipping Into Darkness doing Lady Divine. Right now, what we're going to do is put a condom on my intern Alex's head and see if he can blow it up with his nose. And we have my other intern Cheyenne helping out. So let's see how this goes. It begins now. It begins. All right, she's stretching it over. She's starting in the back and trying to get it over his enormous forehead. It's not working. I feel like your fingernails are going to rip through it. Okay, we got the boyfriend helping out. I've seen this done before in YouTube videos. It's going to break. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, it broke. It broke. Did it hurt? Are your eyes okay? Are you blind? Everything's all right. You're fine? You guys are good? I'm good. All right. Jesus Christ. What's a lubricator? It was actually lubricated. That's probably why they were slipping around so much. Oh, well. We're going to play some Tomahawk. This song's called Southpaw. Dan fact, number 506. Dan once got into a cock fight with Clint Eastwood. His cock won. Can a Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Your ear Hats off to you Can paint Up inside me But if I Aggressive And I Put a pillow on your mouth And I Tonight It's cooling On and on Remembering your place Tonight We never Never Should have played Maple Leaf Come on Can a Can a Can a Can a Can a Can a Can a guitar solo On the radio, babe Was that the thing On your lip You got Some shit On the head of your lip Just wipe it off And save Yourself The embarrassment On the radio, babe On the radio, babe On the radio, babe On the radio, babe You Run me so wrong Run me so wrong Please Keep your clothes on Keep your clothes on You Run me so wrong Run me so wrong Babe Will I survive If I'm not the one Who gives a shit about Bigfoot? Hey yo, check this out. This is 30C Codilla. You have no idea, Codilla. Signal, beat caller. Rondo. University of West 400 Blow State. Thank you very much for a pint of our big cacophony. We were tired and shattered But we stuck together And now it seems That we're lost forever We lit those candles in both eyes And we killed just like Can a Oz So dark and so dangerous And nothing was dangerous Can a Oz We were complicated We were so medicated We were loved and sometimes hated We made enemies and we made friends But we still killed just like Kill me So young and so goddamn dangerous And nothing was safe to us It'll never be the same for us Never meant to lose us Never meant to let this go We knew this day would come But when it did, we didn't want to know Just didn't want to know This is where the dogey deems come up You thought you got the best This is where the magic ends This is where the endless begins Can't believe time to move on Goodbye Wait, don't go This ain't over yet Can't believe time to move on We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.