Phone call contest, Bill and Ted Titanic parody

Hi, this is Jell-O Biafra. What should you rather have? A pint of booze if you're a recovering alcoholic or a pint of cacophony no matter what or who you are? Speak into the mic, bitch. Say that into the microphone. Keep on rockin' in the free world, and I mean rock, not hop-bunk. Not indie poo. Not middle-of-the-road, Miley Cyrus-y dreck. You're a freak with a microphone. Oh, my, my... Welcome to a pint of cacophony. My name is Dan Patronello, and this is Skid Row Studios. Today's gonna be fun. I know on our calendar it said we're gonna have Chuck Dukowski in here, but we had to reschedule, sadly, but it's gonna be great. We'll have him back in here soon. We're all prepped for that. And next week, we got Jason Pine, the director of the documentary Desert Age, and we got interviews with Dave Ketching. It's gonna be fun stuff. But today, you're stuck with us, fuckers. We're stuck with you. We're stuck with you. We're stuck with you. We got a team here. We got Jessica and Cheyenne and Alex. Yes. The team. We're bringing you... It's gonna be good. I don't wanna give it all away. We shouldn't. No. I think we're gonna save it. If they wanna hear it, they have to fucking stay tuned. And we're bringing a ton of great new music, so why don't we just go... Let's do it. Let's do this bitch. Let's do this bitch. This is Benjamin Booker. This is Benjamin Booker. This is Benjamin Booker. This is Benjamin Booker. This is Benjamin Booker. This is Benjamin Booker. This is Benjamin Booker. Hello there, children. Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt? Goodbye. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh When I get off a train for too long Everything else sits off the strung I could see the world side of my head Thinking that I've got it wrong I had to push off this life to my finger Feel my life's gone, a whole lot of life to bring her Shake off the world, this big pile of life Keep pushing off this life, pushing off this life It's the one I'll find It's the one I can't let go I won't stop, no, no I've learned too much of this life to come I feel that I've fallen on the road I couldn't bring up On the road I couldn't bring up I've learned to larger It's like a mountain down I feel that I've fallen on the road I couldn't bring up I am a man, too much of it. I am a man, too much of it. I am a man, too much of it. I am a man, too much of it. There it is. Australia. I'll be damned. Look at this country. You are gay. Hehehehe. Smoking that gas. I don't have the care. I don't have the care. Double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double dare falling down the stairs. Ooh! Yeah! But it's not fair. Don't touch your hair. It's not nice to say. But it's not fair. Let down your hair. Don't touch your hair. Well, I don't know where, where, where, where, where, I don't know where, where, where, where, to go. I don't know where, where, where, where to go Smoking red hair, I don't have a hair Double, double, double, double, double, double, double Down, far, down, down, down there But it's not fair Don't touch your hair It's not nice to say But it's not fair Lay down your head I don't know where, where, where, where, where I don't know where, where, where, where to go I don't know where, where, where, where to go Smoking red hair I don't have a hair I don't have a hair Hair, hair, hair Hair, hair, hair Hair, hair, hair Hair, hair, hair Hair, hair, hair Hair, hair, hair Hair, hair, hair Dude, I had the craziest night. Things got totally out of hand. I got super wasted and I don't remember what happened. All I remember is seeing those flashing red and blue lights behind me. Now I'm looking at a DUI. Aw, man, that's going to cost so much money. How are you going to pay for that? Getting in trouble with the law is never an easy thing to deal with. The constant stress over how to get past your sticky situation doesn't always have to completely overcome you. Attorney Alexander Fuquay focuses on DUI and criminal defense. He will help your case with less of a headache. Contact Alexander Fuquay at Fuquay Law Center if you are facing any criminal arrest charges. And we're talking any. He can help. If your case is drug-related, a DUI, or you've been charged with something more serious, no problem. Just visit his website at www.fuquaylawcenter.com or call 626-385-8840. The Fuquay Law Center serves anywhere in California, including Los Angeles, San Diego, and Orange County. Welcome back to A Pint of Cacophony. My name is Dan Patronillo. This is Skid Row Studios. You heard some great music by Tame and Paul, The Orwells Drench, and Benjamin Booker. But I'd like to welcome you to our bullshit. Now presenting the Pint of Cacophony theater group featuring Daniel and Alejandro. In tonight's reenactment, Daniel and Alejandro will read as William and Theodore from Bill and Ted's episode of The Pint of Cacophony. The Pint of Cacophony is a series of films that are based on the stories of Bill and Ted's ex-husband, and the absolutely riveting scene from the Oscar-winning film Titanic. Ahem. A scene that captivated a nation and compelled everyone to wonder, why doesn't that fat bitch just scoot the fuck over? Now, without further ado, Bill and Ted in Titanic. I love you, Jack. Don't you do that, dude. Don't say your goodbyes, man. Not yet. Do you understand me? I'm so cold. Listen, Rose, dude. You're gonna get out of here. You're gonna go, and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow, and you're gonna die an old lady woman in her bed. Not here. Not this night. Not like this. Do you understand me? I can feel my body, Ted. Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me. It brought me to you, and I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful, man. Dude, dude, dude, you must do me this honor, dude. Promise me you'll survive, man. That you won't give up, dude. No matter what happens, dude. No matter how hopeless, dude. Promise me now, man. Rose. It's cold, dude. And never let go. Of that promise. I promise. Never let go, dude. I'll never let go, Jack, dude. I'll never let go. Dude. Oh, Bill and Ted. Hey, Bill and Ted in Titanic. I want that shit. I'm pretty sure there was not an explosion at the end of Titanic. They're dead. That's all. P.S. Dan, what do you think Bill and Ted sound like? Because you got pretty southern for a hot minute. I know. I don't know what happened. I love that. I did my best, but I think it was because we were doing Cape Fearliners last night. Yeah. And I got really into like. It sounded like you were trying. I don't know. Ye. Yeah. He was doing the redneck voice the whole night. I was going to say, I don't recall them being hicks, but. I know. I was doing like a hick saying dude. I mean, I guess whatever your creative interpretation is, but that kind of blew. And were there seagulls? Was I hallucinating or were there seagulls? Yeah, there were seagulls. I'm pretty sure seagulls don't fly around in the middle of the freezing. Freezing. At night. At night. At night. Like around icebergs in the middle of the night. Did you get those seagulls in there? I didn't. I didn't purposely put the seagulls in there. No. Oh. Oh, well, it's good to know that you're paying attention to the audio that you pulled. So. Hey, you know, I do my best. I liked it. I liked it. I thought the seagulls were. You did a great performance. Thank you, dude. I didn't crack up. Dude. Dude. You know, and it's Titanic. You can't go wrong with Titanic. I mean, Leonardo DiCaprio, he was dreaming. He also looked like a 12 year old. I like him young. What can I say? He did. He was pretty young in that movie. I think that's the one where. He was legal, wasn't he? I think so. That was like, what, 99? And when it came out, I was in fourth grade. So I think I'm allowed to have a crush on him. Dude, that Kate Winslet, though. I want to hang out with Kate Winslet. Kate Winslet in Titanic. Those were my first movie boobs. Those were your first movie boobs? I went with my mom. Were they your first movie boobs, though? Yeah, I think so. Maybe. Maybe. I think those were definitely my first movie boobs. Those are good boobs to have. Those were my first movie boobs. I just didn't care because they're boobs. Yeah, exactly. It's not fair. I don't. I think. But Kate Winslet shows her boobs a lot. It doesn't seem to be an issue for her. What other movie? I think I've only seen her in Titanic. No, not Brokeback Mountain. She wasn't even in that. No, that's Hathaway shows her boobs in that. No, she's. I don't know. I haven't seen enough. I watched The Holiday. She didn't show her boobs in The Holiday. I know that much. The Holiday. Was Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine? Yes. Was there boobs in that? I don't know. I didn't watch it. I don't think so. That was a real lovey-dovey. Actually, Jim Carrey's boobs were in that. I think. I like his boobs. Jim Carrey's got great boobs. He does. He has a great rap, Jim Carrey. He does? I don't think I've noticed. It's not fair, though, because you guys get boobs in a bunch of movies, and I think there's a dick shortage in the film industry. Not currently. Yeah. There's a lot of dick out there. Okay. No, it's swapped within the last two years. Here's the deal, though. I mean, I still think there's an insufficient amount of dicks compared to boobs, and the dicks that we do see are like Jason Segel's. It's not dicks that you want. That's a problem. That's a pretty reasonable. But I think Michael Fassbender's the last one to show his penis. Shame. Oh, yeah. Wait, is that Watchmen? No. What about the huge swinging blue dong? Was that in Watchmen? It was a digital dong. It doesn't count. But that's a pretty big dick. It was a fake dick. Michael Fassbender, that was in, what was it, Shame? Oh, God. I don't know. I wasn't looking at his dick. That is a man, and he had a huge dick. Michael Fassbender? Fuck yeah. I don't even know who that is. How can you not know who Michael Fassbender is? What was he in? He is Magneto. He's Magneto, the young Magneto in X-Men First Class. Oh, yes, yes. She's right. He's in Frank, which is going to be coming out. All you need to know is that he's, yeah, there's a movie called Frank coming out. It's real. Oh, Frank. I thought Anne Frank. Wait, so Anne Frank starring Michael Fassbender in a huge dong. She's going to kill it with this dong. Seriously, you know, if any actor can pull off Anne Frank, it's Michael Fassbender. Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? What's with the baby? What? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Who the hell are you talking to? Are you talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here. That was a freaking nature. Can somebody please explain to me what just happened? I tried to hit somebody saying no. Is it because we were talking about dicks and boobs and you just thought of babies? Yeah, no, and then I accidentally hit two buns at the same time and we got you talking to me from Taxi Driver at the same time as a baby crying. Oh, my God. It was a freak accident. It was a glitch, but it was perfect. It was beautiful. Now I'm trying to think of my first. Because you got your first movie. I need my first movie. Peen. Peen? It was. It was Eurotrip. Back to my point of it's never penises that you want to see. It was Eurotrip, that scene where all those old, gross European dudes were chasing Michelle Trachtenberg down on some dude beach. Oh, yeah. It's the old white dudes and they're all saggy. Yeah, I don't want to see that. Swinging. Can't we just have a bunch of Michael Fassbenders running, chasing her down the beach? I'm sure she wants that, too. I think the penis was kind of a joke thing because do you remember Scary Movie? It's always a joke. Yeah, but then I think they're getting classy now about the penises. No, I feel like it's getting. Michael Fassbender? Wasn't that a classy? I didn't see it. I'm assuming that's a classy penis. Or what about Shia LaBeouf's fake dong and nymphomania? If it's fake, it doesn't count. Oh, I guess Marky Mark doesn't get it either then, huh? Nope. Oh, yeah. I want to see real dick. And Fassbender, that was like an exception to the rule, I feel. Because every other time it's like Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, penises that I don't care about. Mm, Fassbender. That's what it sounded like. That is way longer than I thought it was going to be. Okay, first off. I'm sorry. If I have to listen to you fuckers talk about boobs and vag and this chick is hot and that chick is hot all day, you got to let me have something. I feel like we don't talk about boobs and vag that often. We talk about each other. Alex. Alex talks about boobs and vag. Alex isn't even fucking paying attention. He's not. There's someone walking. Another board out from here at Skidmore Studios. Oh, what's up? What's your name? Scott. His name's Scott. Tell him to stop interrupting our fucking show. Sorry. Get out of here, Scott. He's a nice guy. Don't yell at him. Don't yell at him. Let's go into Bonfire Beach, though. Let's play some tunes. Let's do it. We're going to come back and we have some fucking phone calls to make. You guys going to be- Phone calls? Yeah. I don't think I'm going to like this. Are we going to call? Are we going to call my boyfriend? I think we might be calling Bruce. We'll see. We shouldn't have said anything. He's probably listening. He's not listening. No one listens to us. That's not true. Music. I listen. Me too. Okay. This song is going to end and let you turn off those goddamn lights. We'll see you next time. Thanks for watching. See, see, see, see, see my Song, song, song, song, song, song, song, song Song, song, song, song, song, song, song, song Song, song, song, song, song, song, song, song Song, song, song, song, song, song, song, song Song, song, song, song, song, song, song, song, song Your kiss is medicine Saves me from all my sins Don't play a graceful show Oh You're gonna tear you apart See, see, see, see, see my See, see, see, see, see my See, see, see, see, see my So, see, see, see, see, see my So, see, see, see, see, see my So, see, see, see, see, see my Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Please, don't fuck you! Wait, master. It might be dangerous. You go first. You go first. Because you must It's all good for girls like us Now all my friends are enemies And this place means nothing to me I don't know who you think I am No one will ever understand I think I've gone mad but it was fun I think I've gone mad but it was fun I think I've gone mad but it was fun I think I've gone mad but it was fun Do you see me like I see you You couldn't if you wanted to You lost lust because you must It's all good for girls like us I think I've gone mad but it was fun I think I've gone mad but it was fun I think I've gone mad but it was fun I think I've gone mad but it was fun It's all good for girls like us It's all good for girls like us It's all good for girls like us It's all good for girls like us It's all good for girls like us It's all good for girls like us It's all good for girls like us It's all good for girls like us Welcome back to a Pinecone Company. Hey. My name is Dan Pacinello. I actually really liked that song break. That was like all girls. Bonfire Beach, Hunters, La Boucherettes, and Pins. That was cool shit. I'm not even, what? Sorry, I'm texting. It's much more important than you guys. Oh, yeah, good job. Good job. So we're gonna... I got him my mics hot, and that made me giggle. All right. Because I never get that from Alex. So we're gonna do a little thing here. We're gonna call a couple places around town, and the four of us are gonna play, myself, Jessica, Alex, and Cheyenne. And we're gonna see who can keep this person on the phone the longest. I'm gonna call a Chinese food store. I'm calling CVS. Yeah, Cheyenne's gonna call a movie theater. I'm gonna call Pet Boys. Pet Boys. We all got a little shtick here. Okay. We down? This is a garden cafe in Arcadia. We have to... I'll keep track of how long. Yeah, check the times. And we'll see who's the best at this game. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Hey, there, got on? Hi. Hi. Hi, how are you? Are you guys still open? Yeah, yeah. Can I order for takeout? Yeah. Sweet. Do you guys have soups? What? What? What do we want? Well, do you have soup? Soup? Mm-hmm. What soup you like? What soup? What soups you got? The corn chicken soup. Mm-hmm. Corn chicken soup. Mm-hmm. You guys don't have any cream of some young guy? The seafood. I guess it's a little fishy, but more salty. It's used for protein. I don't. You don't have cream of some young guy? No, I don't. So, they seem delicious, delicious, delicious, delicious, delicious, delicious, delicious, delicious, What's your order? That was the soup. Soup? Yeah, the cream of Samyang guy. The cream corn chicken soup? Is that what it is? What does that mean out of Samyang guy? Cream? The cream, right? Cream corn and chicken. Oh, you know! I know you know! I know it's happening! You can laugh, it's okay. She don't know. Oh, she hates me. I'm so sorry, I love your food. How long did I get? You got a minute and 20 seconds. Sweet! Did you write that down? I did. Alright, a minute and 20 seconds. She totally... See, she tried to pretend like she didn't understand what you were saying. She knew what was up. I know, she giggled. She knew. She knew. Alright. Yeah, I'm 120. I have to beat that? You gotta beat 120. Who are you calling? You're next, right? Yeah. You gotta queue it up. Alright. Alright, who are you calling? Oh, CVS. Yeah. Oh, I'm totally prepared for this. Not even a little bit. Oh, here we go. Shh. Okay. Thank you for calling CVS Pharmacy. Awesome. Seriously? 9045 Wilshire Boulevard. Oh, the address. Beverly Hills, California. Oh, whoops. Prescribers, press 2. Okay. Pharmacy, press 3. Non-pharmacy calls, press 4. It might take us somewhere. Press 4. I don't have a bed. Press 4. To refill a prescription, press 1. I don't have a bed. I don't have anything. Prescribers, press 2. We can't call any CVS. Pharmacy, press 3. You don't have a... Non-pharmacy calls, press 4. Let me try this. Get a shot. See what happens. Photo, press 1. Yes! Hit 1. 4 questions, press 2. Healthy skincare center, press 3. For our hours, press 9. Get prescription text... Oh, come on. I think CVS is pranking us right now. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, sweet. Oh, so we're on hold. They'll get to us. Don't worry about it. Oh, my God. I love this song. Since it's your turn, I just... How come we never play this song? Because you like shitty bands. Your mom likes shitty bands. Alex, come on. Every time we have a meeting, shitty bands. What's wrong with my bands? You like Mumford & Sons. I like banjos. Look at Cheyenne's laughing. Shut up, Cheyenne. Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. All right. Mumford & Sons. I liked their first album. Marcus Mumford has a new album. He has a great voice. And yeah, I'll say it. I fucking like them. He does not have one. I just think one... Seriously. I just think one hipster said that they hated him and everyone jumped on the bandwagon. How about that guy? How about that guy? Do you like that guy? I like Kiss 2. I don't think it's hipsters who hated Mumford & Sons. Hipsters hate Mumford & Sons. I think Mumford & Sons exists because of hipsters. No. Hipsters fucking hate them. I think so. Right? You only say that because of how they dress. Just because they dress adorably. And like they're from a different era. She thinks they're adorable. Oh, I fuck every single one of the dudes in those bands. Wow. Fuck on this. I don't think CBS is going to work. We've been on hold for a while. Photo personnel are assisting other customers. Should we drop it? How busy can a CBS be? Hey, Darnie. You're on Wilshire Boulevard though. I don't give a shit. In the middle of Wilshire Boulevard. You make it seem like Mumford &... Wilshire people should have money to develop their own fucking pictures. Damn. Seems shanty like it is. I'm pissed. Seriously though. I feel like Mumford & Sons isn't the only band that I like. You make it seem like that's all I enjoy. I have a whole plethora. Hold on. Here we go. Of bands. You like fun. Yeah. Oh my God. You know why? Look it. Because they're fun. Period. No. They're not. That dude's voice is like... I understand why people don't like his voice. Wait. Hello? How can I help you? Oh my gosh. I've been on hold for like ever. Thank you so much. This is like serious. This emergency. Can you help me out? Okay. What's the question? Okay. So I dropped off some photos to get developed. It's super important that it actually happens because it's my boyfriend's anniversary and I'm trying to surprise him. But the problem is I read somewhere that it's illegal for you guys to develop topless photos and that you throw them out. And I was just really wondering what I have to do to get those to go through because I already dropped them off. And it's too late for me to take them anywhere else. And I just really need these for my baby because I love him so much. It's our five-year anniversary. Congratulations to you guys. Thank you. Aw, you're so sweet. With those things, it's an okay from corporate. You have to get an okay from corporate in order for us to develop them. Oh, so do you guys call corporate or do I have to call? Like what do I have to do for you to get... Because the bus is already closed. Oh, it's closed? So you can try another CVS that's 24 hours or something. Well, I already dropped it off. I just haven't picked the photos up yet. But I wanted to make sure that they actually get developed. So I didn't work that out ahead of time. How can I do that now? What do I have to do for you to get my topless photos? When did you guys drop them off for me? When did you drop them off? It was yesterday. I had to sneak away from my man just because he... He can be kind of controlling sometimes, even though I love him for it. I like it when a man gets really defensive and very over his lady and just very possessive. It's super manly. Yeah, let's keep it clean. But the thing is that you have to get an okay from corporate. And they sent us an email that... How do I get the okay from corporate? You can call 1-800-SHOP-CVS and there's a photo option. And speak to them. And they are the right people to okay it. And then what pretty much happens is they'll send us an email that it's okay to develop this customer's name and photos. Okay, but you'll hold on to my boobs until then? Yeah, I mean, we don't have all of your boobs until then. But it's the person that... I don't even know which picture you're talking about. Because the person... The photo department is closed already. The person that works in the photo department is gone for the day. Oh, I see. Well, what are the hours for the photo? It's 10 to 7. Do you want to see my boobs? I can show you the picture if it'll speed things up. Thanks, but no thanks. Let's keep it professional, like I said. Yeah, if you want to speak to corporate and try to get an okay for that, then we get an email. That's different. And we can try to process it. I mean, if they okay it. Okay? Okay, I suppose that'll work. Just, you know, for my man. All right, thanks. And have a good night. And congratulations to both of you guys. Aw, you're so sweet. I know I'm so lucky. Yep, I'm glad to hear that. Thank you. That was good. He was so nice. I'm surprised you got him to actually say the line. We'll hold on to your boobs. We got to cut that up for a fucking drop. We'll hold on to your boobs. We'll hold on to your boobs. He is hating his life right now. Can I just tell you how much this dude hates his life? I work retail. I know how much it sucks. We got the next one up? Yeah. You ready, Shan? Oh, okay. What's she calling? She's calling AMC Movie Theater's guest services. I beat your time, by the way, Dan. I know, you kicked my ass. What'd you get, like, seven minutes? You didn't actually look for it? They pick up right here, so. Maybe. They pick up directly, so be ready. All right, ready? Yes. Here we go. Thank you for calling AMC 16. Hello? Hello? Nope. She hung up. She hung up on us. Oh, bitch. She beat us to the punch. Call her back. She doesn't even know the O name to her job. Here we go. Call her back. AMC O. She might have tried to put... No, I do it sometimes. Like, you try and put someone on hold, and you accidentally drop them. On accident. She should complain. You should complain. You hung up on me. Here we go. Oh, hell no. This chick. No. I'm taking off the hair. Let's keep calling her. This is personal. Let's keep going. Oh, my God. I'm going to throw a bitch fit. I'm going to throw a BS. Cheyenne is so mad. No, you have to. Hold on. What did you leave in the bathroom? Or the movie theater? No, now she has to change it to just flipping the fuck out for being hung up on. Here we go. Here we go. Come on, AMC. Caller name 216. This is Hannah. Hey, did you just hang up on me? I was in an accident. That was twice, dude. Two times. Yeah, well, I answered, and then I just hear an echo. Well, no, there's no echo. Anyway, I have a problem. So I was in theater two earlier, and I left my diaphragm. Your diaphragm? It's on the top, on the very top row in the corner. Can you check? Because, I mean, it's kind of gross. I mean, I'm only the one that's supposed to be using it, you know? What diaphragm? What does it look like? You don't know what a diaphragm looks like? No. It's the little round thing. It's like, you know, the ones. It's those shakies when you pop them up, and they flip up in the air. But you put it inside you because, you know. Well, okay, so we were doing something in the back, obviously. But can you please go check? In theater two? In theater two, yes. It's all the way in the top in the right corner. And how long ago did you leave it? Well, I was there for like an hour ago. An hour ago? Yes. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, there's an echo. So it's just like when I talk, I can hear myself. That's why I was like. Oh, it's my phone. It's Metro piece of shit, you know? Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. That's okay. I'm sorry, too. Okay. Please tell them. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. There's no fucking way she's looking for that. Cheyenne, you pulled the bitch card on this part, girl. You fucking. You're like, oh, God, you don't know what a diaphragm is? Is that a normal thing to most people? You know what? I don't even know what a diaphragm is. P.S. Props for the shakies. Throwing that in. That's what you said. That's what you said. How much time does she have so far? So far, she has a minute 35. So she already beat you. Yeah. She's catching up to me. But we're on hold. Are we holding a fucking contest? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit, man. All right. I got this. I got this. I mean. We're actually waiting for her to walk in the movie theater. Should we count the whole shit? No, we shouldn't. But we also have. I'm going to ask her, did you legitimately walk in the theater? She's going to come back in like 20 minutes. I mean, because if it were me. Do you have another line? Can we use another line for your goal? No, no, no, no, no. No, no. If it were me, I would just put. We did not find anything. Are you serious? Did you really go look? Yeah. Are you sure? You theater two? Yeah. Theater two. What movie's playing there? Theater two. We didn't find anything. That couldn't have taken you that fast. Well, we had our ushers go and check. Over the walkie or something? You told him I was missing my diaphragm over the walkie? Yeah. Oh, that's fucked up, dude. All right. Well, I guess. I'll go. I'll look for myself. Thanks. Oh, my God. I wanted to see if she was going to say anything. Dude, she was pissed. She wasn't having any of that shit. All right. So you made it to 235. But the question is, do we count the holds? Yes. Yeah. Count the holds. We waited for CBS to put you forever. That's right. Oh, and I didn't start timing it then. Oh, okay, okay. No, we'll count the hold. Of course. All right. Okay. So far, you're winning. All right. So Alex is turning right now. Yeah. Shan's winning right now. So who are we calling? Pep Boys? Pep Boys. Alex has got Pep Boys. Yes. Those are the three dudes on the sign, right? Yes. Oh, fuckers. Let's try it again. Do you have another number? I think I know this slowly in my heart. Pep Boys. No. When the light goes on. Come on. Is that the same one? Is that Pep Boys? Pep Boys gets everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know enough about. That was my friend's favorite commercial. It's a mini-man. Pep Boys. What's wrong with you? You sit around and memorize jingles all day long? That was my friend. All right. Here we go. Here we go. I watch too much TV. Hold on. There we go. Welcome to Pep Boys. Ah, son of a bitch. Marque el nueve. Marque el nueve. For towing assistance, press five. Oh, God. Damn it. Please call back during our normal business hour. Are they closed? Good job, Dan. Good job, Dan. Yeah. Can we need to think of something else for Alex? Maybe we should do it when we come back. All right. Yeah. Aftertunes. Let's go to songs and we'll have you call some ... He can call Purgatory Pizza. All right. Aftertunes. Sean's working from Criminal Hygiene tonight. That's right. Let's do that. Let's do that. We'll set it up in Aftertunes. We'll come back. Oh, hold on. This is the burger block. This is going to be so cool, guys. Curtis Harding's coming up. It's so good. I'm sorry. I don't fail at life right now. I don't fail at life. This song's amazing. I've been singing it all day. I do love this song. How many tickets can we put you down for? Oh, I can't go. Oh, come on. It'll make you a happy person. I am happy. No, you're not. Yes, I am. No, you're not. I really am. No, you're not. But I am. No, you're not. All right. Two tickets. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. She is my sun And all of the ways, girl You are the only one So just keep on shining Keep on shining Keep on shining Right Just keep on shining Keep on shining I can find you See the fire I can find you See the fire I can find you See the fire Just the light in your eyes That fills this space I'm the more wise girl To allow your love to replace All the worries and days All the pain All the pain All the pain Get your body to move, girl You held me deep inside So just keep on shining Keep on shining Keep on shining Right Just keep on shining Keep on shining I can find you See the fire I can find you See the fire I can find you See the fire You are the only one guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo Right on, man. Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he'd put on a dress and play a girl bunny? No. No. No. No. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What happened, man? What's your problem? Can you believe it? I got fired. I've had this job for years and out of nowhere they tell me to pack up and leave. I don't get it. I don't deserve this and I need this income. Really? That doesn't sound right, man. You need to do something about this. You need to get someone to help you fight this. Imagine losing your job for something out of your control or being harassed at work. In this economy, we depend so heavily on our sources of income. Getting it taken away from us for wrongful reasons is devastating. If you've been wrongfully terminated from your job, call Attorney Alexander Fuquay at Fuquay Law Center. He'll fight for you. Contact by phone at 626-385-8840. Or visit his website at www.fuquaylawcenter.com. Fuquay Law Center serves anywhere in California, including Los Angeles, San Diego, and Orange County. Welcome back to Pinecone Company. I just want to say thanks to Sean and Lee over at Burger Records. They sent us a care package of just a bunch of new tunes like cassettes and finals and stickers and pins. Pins. I have a pin that says, I'm a burger babe. Yeah, it's cool. We played Curtis Harding out of that off of Soul Power and Les Marinelli's. But right now, Sean's, we're calling Sean, right? Yeah, we're trying to get him. All right, Sean works at Purgatory Pizza. From Criminal Hygiene. Sean's in Criminal Hygiene. Damn it, Purgatory. Friends of the show. They were wasted when they were here. Damn you, Purgatory. One more time. We called them last week and they answered. I know. That's what happens. I know. So perfect. There we go. Let's see. Damn you, Purgatory. This all rides on you, Alex. You can win this thing. Oh, here we go. Shh. Here we go. Yes. Answer, baby. Come on, Sean. Come on. Yes? Hey, is this Purgatory? Yeah. Hey, man. Is Sean there? I'd really like to talk to him. Sean? Yeah. Yeah, man. Who's calling? This is a customer that came in earlier. Just want to... He's the one to help me out. That's why I'd like to talk to him. Okay, great. Yeah. Hold on just a second. Cool, man. Thanks. Hello? Hey, man. Is this Sean? Yeah. You're the guy that looks like Larry Bird, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I came in earlier and I got a pizza. And this is not too long ago. And I got home and it just destroyed my asshole. I'm so sorry, dude. Did you put something in it? Because it was rough. No. What pizza was it? It was just a pepperoni pizza. So that's why I'm asking. Did you put something in it? Because it was weird, man. And I missed my grandma's funeral. Yeah. I don't know. Come on in and we'll fix you up. Okay, man. I'm going to come right now. All right. Cool. I'll see you then. Just no... No, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No pepperoni this time. All right. Because it made my ass explode. Don't want that again. No pepperoni. Extra laxative. Extra... Okay. That's not... No worries. Come on in. Okay, man. Thanks. Appreciate it. I love Raid. Raid's a great song. P.S. Raid's my favorite song of the year. He was very... I couldn't help but laugh again. Alex, you have the giggles like a five-year-old. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Now wait a minute. That's the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die.