Drew Marks on porn, fail videos, and birthday rant

Pacific time. If you want to call the show, call us at 800-893- music music music music music music music music music music music music music Alright, bringing that music down Nick. We've got a lot to talk about today. I'm Chris Z here with my co-host Sal as always. Sal how you doing over there? Sal I'm doing really great. Listen let me just tell you something. I want to make an amends which is one of our segments periodically. I want to make amends on our first show I said that music sounded so gay. And by saying that I was not saying it didn't sound good. It sounds great. It just sounded gay. But now that is not. I listen to that song all the time. Can you share with our listeners who does our intro music? There's a hell of a band out of South Florida called The Connected, K-I, double N, I believe, Connected. And just a fantastic band. They've been around for a long time. Before that, they were, my God, I can't even remember. They've had a couple different incarnations. Long story short, my brother's part of the band. My brother's a career musician, about 25 years. And yeah, he's worked with God, all kinds. He's open for Bright Adams. And who's that other band? Who's the band that sings Hemorrhage in My Hands? You remember that song? I've experienced hemorrhaging in my hands. Fuel. Fuel, okay. Fuel, that's it. Yeah, he's open for that. My brother's, yeah, I mean, he gives lessons as a studio musician, all kinds of stuff out in South Florida. And anyway, that's his latest kind of, I don't know if incarnation is the right word for it, but his latest project. And there's a couple other tunes. And hopefully he'll be out here in Southern California sometime. We'll have him on the show. I think, I think it's a great song. I really love it. It's, it's really upbeat, also. It's really, it's got an upbeat feel. I'm excited to have your brother's group as our intro music. Yeah. And I think, I think it's got a pretty distinctive sound there. It's kind of a mature, I like it. But yeah, I agree with you. It's upbeat. It moves. Listen, if you're just tuning in as a registered ear offenders is what we do here every Friday at 1 p.m. The number to call is 800-893-9562. That's 800-893-9562. I hope that I'm able to offend some people today. I hope that I'm able to offend some people today. Like our, our namesake, because I'm in a great mood today, Chris. I am in an awesome mood today. So I hope I can still be offensive while being in a good mood. Have you guys ever been around somebody who's in such a good mood? It actually starts to make you uncomfortable. And this, what's particularly odd about this is today's a day that most people might not be as excited as Sal is. Sal, may I mention the occasion? I was, I was going to keep it a secret until my, my rant portion, but please, you go right ahead. Okay. Sal turns 30. I'm turning 39 as of midnight last night, West coast time. All right. I'll join you in applause. I'm applauding my own birthday. That's how excited I am. And I'm going to talk about that on Sal's weekly rant. It's going to be a little bit different today where I'm going to talk about a little more positive things, our outlook on life specifically related to our birthday. So make sure you stay tuned for that. What else are we doing today? Oh boy. We got a couple of different things coming up. One is we call this a YouTube talk. It's kind of a new segment here. Sal and I have our various interests here. One of, I'll just tease it. One of mine is watching animals kill each other. And I I've lost as much as two straight hours, two consecutive hours watching animals do battle. And that's, and that's cumulative. So two straight hours, like five days a week. Yeah, that's correct. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but that and fail blog. So Sal and I have been talking about this a little bit lately and we decided that we should share it with our listening public. I suppose it is possible that there are other technology, technologically inept people such as myself who maybe haven't, you know, are just now discovering or haven't even heard of these things. And I think there'll be a, there'll be thrilled to do so, man, because don't let them tell you that there's nothing worth watching on the internet. Cause I think, I think a hyena with half its face chewed off by a lion is definitely worth watching. Would a hyena with half his face chewed off, would that be a fail blog, sort of an animal fail blog? Is that what that would be? Yeah, you would consider it a failure and the lion would consider it a success. But yeah, see, that's it. That's another thing. I had no idea that, that hyenas and lions are more, more mortal enemies. I didn't know. Wait, I'm sorry. You didn't know lions and hyenas were mortal enemies. Haven't you seen Lion King? Uh, God, how many years has it been? Well, should I, should I trust that as a credible source? Is that what you're? I use Disney to teach me about nature. I learned about, uh, penguins from them or was that DreamWorks? Correct me if I'm wrong, Sal, but didn't the lions talk in the Lion King? You mean lions don't talk? I am a Leo, so I'm a lion and I'm talking right here right now. We need to have Sal watch some Nat Geo videos. So he's going to go, this sucks. They're not even talking. Why are they so camera shy? Um, so we've got YouTube talk and, uh, we've got another, this is the second. So I guess this makes it now officially a recurring segment called when we peaked. Sal and I look back on our lives, uh, that as yet haven't, uh, haven't turned out the way we had imagined they would in life. Uh, not saying they won't. In fact, we're going to do everything in our power to make the, make our dreams come true. Uh, so what's that Laverne and Shirley? Do we have the Laverne and Shirley theme song? All our dreams come true for me and you. Let's never do that again. I think the listeners are. Am I, are you Laverne? I think if you were to have a resemblance, it would be your, you would be Laverne cause you're a little lighter. He was taller than the two. Yeah. So you're Laverne, I'm Shirley. Or, but actually arguably we'd be more like Lenny and Squiggy and you would be more Lenny. I'd be more Squiggy and hopefully I don't develop MS. Oh God. That's, I really, is that the, I didn't know that. And, uh, Lenny, was what Michael McKean, right? Lenny was Michael McKean and Squiggy, I forgot his name, but has been diagnosed with MS and has been in the news periodically. That sucks. Yeah, man. Uh, I tell you, it's, it's some kind of world we live in, ain't it? Where, uh, you know, Fidel Castro lived, uh, you know, lived a long, healthy life to what, late eighties. And, uh, you know, Kennedy gets his head blown off. His little brother gets his, you know, yeah. And that's why as part of my rant today, where I talk about my birthday is how excited I am to be here because of things like that. People get in their heads, heads blown off, people developing MS. Very good friend of mine, Barry Horowitz in the hospital right now, recovering from a stroke. So incidences like that have led me to believe I should be grateful to be sitting here right now. Yeah. At the end of the day, Sam, I know this sounds like fucking, uh, you know, kind of new agey, uh, rich white woman shit, but the, the truth is every single day, man, that you're standing or that you have a roof over your head or food in your belly really is something to be thankful for. Um, I know they were talking on bad advice just last week about the, uh, um, the, the conjoined twins. Yes. So they're gonna put them on the bed. I went and I did some, uh, some additional research on, on those, uh, those two gals, man. And I mean, these chicks are all smiles, man. They're just happy to, you know, they go to high school like everybody. I mean, the first thing I thought is I would become boo rat. You know, if I was these girls, I would never leave the house. They're walking around, they're taking their driving test for Christ's sake, you know? So it really is about making a, you know, lemonade out of lemons, you know? We're ready to start our YouTube talk. That, that leads us into that, you know, because you see if, if, yeah, I'm surprised you were watching these girls cause they didn't have like a fail blog. These girls weren't falling off a bicycle or anything. So you were actually getting motivated by these girls, but we're going to take a look at, at some videos and this we call YouTube talk our segment in particularly here, YouTube slash fail blog. Some, one of the things that, that Chris really loves to do is to sit down and watch people fall off bicycles, just hitting their head after falling off skateboards. Why do you love this so much? I'm glad you asked how, because on the surface I might sound like an asshole for enjoying, you know, uh, from deriving pleasure from other people's pain. That's good. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I've, uh, you know, I've volunteered for a habitat for humanity. I'm a good guy. I'm a genuinely good guy. However, it is kind of nice to put that on hold for when I go on, when I go online and I see a kid jumping his bicycle off the roof of a house, I feel that I'm liberated from the obligation to feel sorry for him. I, I, I'm entitled to, to derive pleasure from his pain. And what, I mean, what other, what did you think was going to happen? Yeah. Yeah. That's my question. But I wouldn't separate the two. I wouldn't think that you're being cruel or callous just because you want to look at this. It's no different than when we're on the freeway and there's an accident and I want to look over there and I'm not necessarily hoping to see something, but I'm ready and willing to see something. The difference is though, I wouldn't laugh and I wouldn't rewind if I, if I saw somebody that had just been involved in a tragic accident. However, if I see somebody engaging in some moronic activity such as a free running, you know, uh, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, some pointless, idiotic, inherently dangerous activity that yields no reward of any kind, either to the person doing it or humanity as a whole, then I, I, I don't feel any sense of obligation to, to sympathize with these people. So I feel like I can just kind of let go and you know, like you would in a movie. I mean, in a movie you watch, you know, if you watch Jonah Hill do a face plant, you get to laugh. I feel like I get to laugh when these people do a face plant. There is a part of us that, that I'm not going to even going to say we like to see that, but we want to see that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. a long time ago, I grew up watching the wide world of sports, ABC's wide world of sports. And one of the popular parts it had of the beginning of the intro was the thrill of victory. And it shows a guy with like drinking champagne, the agony of defeat. And it shows a ski jumper just eating it. Just doing pirouettes. Yeah. And that was one of the most famous parts of that intro was the agony of defeat. Yeah. And, you know, it's a funny thing when you read it somewhere about, I don't know, somebody who's at a NASCAR, you know, rally or something. And, you know, the stadium collapses or, you know, the cars crash and people, oh, it's this huge tragedy. Come on. You tell me you went to see a NASCAR to not see a wreck. You really wanted to see these cars do 500 laps around the same track. No, you went there because you know that there's the inherent possibility of danger. But I think what we want to see as good people so that we're not sociopaths is we don't want anybody to die. We want the cars to crash. We want the cars to crash. We want the cars to crash. We want the guy to fall off the bike, but we don't want them to die. We don't want them to have brain damage. We want them to learn their lesson and then hopefully do it again so we can watch again. We want plausible deniability is what we want. We can't, we couldn't go there if we knew like we won't go to a bullfight as Americans, as Westerners were conditioned, you know, socially to not to find that deplorable. I went to Mexico and I remember being conflicted and then people going, Hey man, whether you go or not, this is their culture. They're going to do this anyway. So, you know, just go check it out. But no, I just couldn't, couldn't be a part of it. You know what I mean? Yeah. But however, if I can go there, you know, and pretend, you know, like the running of the bulls where we, Oh, it's just that, you know, we pretend that we don't know what's going to happen. And when it does, we're kind of like, yeah, I got my money's worth. Yeah. But let's face it. When we go see a bullfight or if we watch running of the bulls, we're rooting for the bull. I mean, when I see a matador get gored by a bull, I mean, come on, man. I'm I, I, you know, I, I don't, I don't wish him death, but I'm kind of like, yeah, bull, you go for it, man. It's your time. And he's running of the bulls guys. When these guys gore, these guys who are running in front of them. I mean, that would be like me jumping on the freeway. It's no different. Right. And again, I'm glad you brought this up because this brings us full circle here. Again, you, we feel no, we don't feel the obligation to sympathize with the bullfighter. I mean, he's been provoking a two ton beast. He's been teasing it. Yeah. And of course the beast gets mad. And in that case, you sympathize with the beast because if you're a decent person, you typically don't like seeing bullying. And that's one of the things that I will tell you whenever I watch an animal video, uh, you know, one of these, these videos I was just talking about on that geo or something. Um, I instinctively root for the underdog and I, and I get mad when I don't care what the animal is. I don't care if he's an apex predator, if he's outnumbered, it bothers me. Were you bullied as a child, Chris? You know, honestly, I wasn't. So I'm not saying I didn't have, I mean, I think in, uh, about eighth, ninth grade, there's a large, a large kid named Henry Alvarez. You're just a true douche bag who just made it a point just to say something, just to say something or whatever. And, um, funny thing about me, if certain people get in my head, they can scare me. I don't scare easily. I really don't. I don't care how big you are or whatever. I mean, I will, I will put you in your, I would rather be beaten than bullied. I'll put it that way. But sometimes when people effectively get in my head as, as alpha males or something, I just instinctively recoil. I don't know. You know, maybe it's some kind of, um, you know, uh, what's the word I'm looking for here? Like a instinct basically, you know, from many, many years ago. Just run. This is a dangerous situation. Nothing good can come of it. Um, but anyway, with him, as it happens, you know, after about a year or so, I was so sick of it that it was one of those things where I was waiting. I was just waiting for him to say something for me. And I don't care where it was. I was going to, you know, and then just literally from one day to the next, he stopped bullying me. And in fact, it would sometimes engage me in brief conversations. So it was the weirdest thing. It was like, you know, well, the interesting thing is a lot of people don't know this, but prior to Paul Ryan, Henry Alvarez was Mitt Romney's, uh, potential running mate. Oh, is it the same? Same Henry. I got, I got to look, I got to Google this right now. I'm putting the show on hold. We got to get into a couple of these videos that we're talking about. There are specific videos that we have enjoyed watching. Chris has seen them on their own, on his own. I've seen them on my own. And recently he and I sat down together and looked at them. What's, what's that first one that we were talking about that we enjoyed watching? Guys, make a note, grab a pen, make a note of this video. You got it. It's, it really is, um, really yet another example, yet another example of what we were just talking about. It's called, and there's a couple of versions, but, um, idiot gets owned for showing off before a fight. It's also called capoeira fighter. Yeah. And capoeira is like the Brazilian fight dancing, right? Yeah. Where they do a lot of acrobatics, a lot of, uh, uh, essentially physical histrionics is what it is. It's like he almost started break dancing before the fight. Yeah. And the other guy in the crowd looks like just, you know, your basic, uh, tough cracker, you know, and he's just standing there shirtless, just waiting for the fight to start. No, no hoopla, no dancing, no showboating. Yes. And the other guy is, I mean, everything from backflips to doing a one hand handstand. Yes. So the long and short of it, so you take this one, tell them what happens. Well, so the guy starts doing all these flips. He starts standing on his hands. The ref calls the fight to go ahead and fight. This guy does like a double backflip to the other fighter coming out of a back flip. The other fighter just smacks him right in the face, knocks him clean out with one punch. Leaves him on the ground, trembling and quivering. Uh, literally if you watch it, you'll, you'll actually see it. You'll see the guy just kind of, you know, just having little minor convulsions or. And just to clarify, we hope that he completely recovered from that. Right. Of course. But again, when you, uh, do a front flip at a skilled fighter, I mean, not, not only is it foolish, but you're, you're mocking him. So again, I, I, when I watched that video, I felt no obligation to sympathize with that guy. Uh, he comes at him in this ridiculous flip. So the guy, his hands are busy, you know, with the ground and whatnot, rather than defending himself. Yeah. And he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's throwing punches or whatever. And the guy, you see that this skilled calm fighter, the white guy, call him the white guy, uh, just, just loads up. He's got his punch ready and he's watching like a hawk the other guy's head. And the second he gets the opportunity, a clean shot, he takes that shot and he, and just, uh, you know, like Sal said, knocks the guy out cold, man. Well, the problem with the Capueta fighter was that he basically ran into the guy's fist. So it was like, it was no different than a baseball hitting a bat. It had double the amount of impact because this guy ran into the guy's fist. It was a, it literally a human body head on collision. You could almost call it with a fist. That was one of our favorite ones. What's that other favorite one that we got? We don't have much time left on this segment. What's the other one you got? Okay. James Thunder versus Crawford Grimsley. I'll give you a brief bio on this. I grew up in South Florida. My best friend, uh, growing up, Josh Rosen, I used to work in a little, a little comic book store and the guy who managed the property, sort of a caretaker, if you will, was Crawford Grimsley at the time. And he was, I guess it was his day job. Sounds like a, he'd be a Harry Potter character or something. He, uh, he's a, it actually looks a lot like Ivan Drago. I must break you. But I do remember a story in the local paper talking about how many punches he could throw and how good his record was. I think he'd had, you know, he'd all had almost a straight win record, if not a straight win record. And they were so confident in how far he was going to go in this business. And then this fight happened. James Thunder versus Crawford Grimsley. Look for the one called don't blink. All right. The fight starts, they come out of the gate. He throws a punch. He throws a punch. He throws a punch. He throws a punch. He throws a punch. He throws a punch. Crawford throws his first punch. I believe it was a left hook, right? James Thunder, just, just, I mean, just backs enough to not let it hit him, right? Counters with a right hook, knocks him out cold. Crawford's on the ground cold. The referees come up. Crawford doesn't even know he's been knocked out. When he kind of, when he comes to, he starts literally trying to punch the referees, um, because he just, he doesn't know what happened. He doesn't, he doesn't remember the part where he got knocked to the ground and was, you know, unconscious for several seconds. Now, Chris, since you mentioned this in the last video, which guy can we call the white guy? Oh, this, well, and, and, oh, uh, well, there's the, the, the, the Capoeira fighter is, uh, clearly a Brazilian dude. He's got long hair, kind of looks like a very fit Yanni. He's got darker skin. And the other guy in the corner, like I said, I mean, he looks like your typical angry Midwestern, you know, white guy probably belongs to a hate group or a right-wing militia. Um, moving on to number three, world's worst broken leg. You can't help but laugh. Take this one. Now, wait a second. I didn't laugh at that. Well, maybe I did. And the reason I laughed was because of the guy's reaction to it. This kid hops on a BMX bicycle, tries to jump this amazing ramp, flies off the bicycle midair. I don't know how the hell that happened. He flies off the bicycle midair, lands on the ground. It must, he must've broken his knee, but he lifts, he falls on the ground. He lifts up his leg and it is just dangling like a wet noodle. And this guy is like, I broke my leg. I broke my leg. You know, if he was laying there crying and bloodied, I probably wouldn't have laughed. But because he was, basically holding up his leg, it looked like a limp penis. He's holding his, I broke my leg. I broke my leg. I broke my leg. And then he starts cussing using every profanity in the book. And it's, if you watch his reaction, it's more shock than pain. I don't think it hurt him, at least not initially. And he does that. He's looking around, his friends are trying to comfort him and he's like, I broke my leg. I think I broke my leg. And then he gives a few, fuck, motherfucker, fuck, fuck, fuck. And it literally looks like his leg has two knees, if I had to describe it. Are you playing it right now? I'm trying, but the audio on my computer is not correct. It's just nothing but swear words at that point. But yeah, you got to see it to happen. And it's funny that you mentioned that. It's true. He tries to jump a ramp on a bicycle. And I mean, it's like he bails halfway. So he falls, I'd say the equivalent of about eight to nine feet in motion and lands on one leg. You know, the human body wasn't meant for that. If you want to see people's body parts do things that they shouldn't do, make sure to check out YouTube. Check out Failblog specifically. And you see all kinds of awesome accidents for those of you who have got a few hours a night to kill. Perfect. One last thing, Sal. I got to tell the listeners about this. I just found it myself. Monkey rapes frog. If you haven't seen it, you will not believe it. It is a monkey in a zoo caught on camera using a frog as a sex toy. He's literally jacking. He's using it as a feefie bag. He changes positions. He lays on his back. He gets comfortable with it. The mother that's recording this is a mother that's recording this. He's using it as a feefie bag. He is recording with her child is freaking the fuck out. Monkey rapes frog. You have to see. You won't believe it until you do. Hey, let's bring in our guest. How about that? You ready to bring in our guest? Here he is. No bio. No. Who is our guest today? Our guest for today. You may know this guy. His name is Drew Marks. He's been doing standup comedy for over 20 years. His standup began in San Francisco and continued in the years after moving to Los Angeles. He has headlined across the country as well as in the United States. He's been doing standup comedy for over 20 years. He's worked with such notable comedy names as Bill Hicks, who we have a portrait hanging in this very studio of George Carlin, Bobby Slade and Mitch Hedberg. And you may know him now because he hosts a funny, funny, very original podcast on this very network called Bad Advice every Saturday from two to three, two to three. Wow. I had to remember something. Can I tell you this also? When I tell people about bad advice, everybody I talk to about bad advice, they go, wow, that sounds really cool. Everybody I talked to about our show, they go, hey, congratulations. Which is true. Welcome aboard. First of all, congratulations on the new show. Thank you. Thank you. For those listeners, obviously, Sal and Chris are regular contributors to bad advice. Love having them. Very funny individuals. Drew spawned our show. Essentially, we're sort of a spinoff. We are like, you know, the Jeffersons to all in the family, sort of. Having him on our show was, of course, the least we could do. It is the very least. It's kind of least. It could have been good. What's the tagline for your show again? Bad advice, where the advice is free and worth every penny. If you haven't heard it, guys, you have to. It's very funny. He has a panel of about six comedians, of course, opinionated, of course, politically incorrect. They get a couple of letters from the listeners and they respond to those letters with bad advice. It makes our show seem tame. I mean, a friend of mine said, here's what a friend of mine said. She goes, I listened to that bad advice show. I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. It's kind of like a bunch of guys sitting around a locker room. Yeah, it's the kind of show that if there was a woman in the room, I would encourage her to just get out for her own safety so she doesn't wind up on a pinball machine. I think it's good for him. It's one of those things where, yes, we're raw and all that, but there's truth to it. Yeah. You know, it's like this is the way people think. It's just not necessarily what they would say. And they'll never say that on television or any of those self-help shows. But this is what you want. You want to be a part of it. You want to be a part of it. But this is what you want to say to people. There is safety in numbers. Yes. And when you're surrounded by other like-minded individuals, you can exchange ideas in a safe environment. And I'd say that's what bad advice is. I think one day we should have like five women and one guy. That would be really interesting. And just see what the guy does then. Drew, tell us how the show came to be. What spawned bad advice? I had come up with the idea for bad advice many years ago in my early days of stand-up. And I was working on a TV show. We'll probably get into this. I do craft service, actually. His crudite is the best. Thank you, Sal. Thank you. But the director of the TV show I was working on came to me one day. He goes, Drew, I know you're a funny guy. Because, you know, we talked a bunch. He goes, I'm working with a production. We're starting our own production company. And we're looking for some new shows. Do you have any shows you want to pitch? I'm like, yes. And they wanted reality shows. So I went in and I pitched a show. And he was like, that's a really good show. That's a really good idea. We like it. But we're not going to do that one. Do you have anything else? And that, folks, is Hollywood in a nutshell. It's basically that. I love the idea. We're not going to do it. Right. And so I'm sitting there going, do I have anything else? Do I have anything else? And, you know, the Rolodex is going in my mind. I'm like, you only have one chance here. So I'm like, yeah, I have this other show, Bad Advice. And I had never really planned on it for that moment. And he's like, we like that. And then... And they actually wanted to do that show. And it got as far as they were all ready to do a pilot for it. And then they were working with Regis Philbin. And Regis said, I want to do my own variety show. I want to do my own variety show. Yeah. Let's put that Bad Advice thing on the back burner. And I was like, thanks. Thanks, Regis. So you got pushed aside because of Regis Philbin? I did. Well, Drew also has a great idea about how to kind of expand on that capital. I'd almost franchise it out, so to speak. And one of the things we did... We actually already had the Bad Advice stand-up show. Yeah, it's a live show. Yeah, most of the guys on... Most of the panelists are stand-up comedians. I contribute occasionally. Vic Cohen, also very funny stand-up. Drew Marks, of course, stand-up. Ron Swallow. Ron Swallow. Yeah, so we did an all Bad Advice lineup at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California. It went extremely well. And hopefully we'll do another one in the future. Oh, we are going to do another one. This next one's going to be in a theater. I will keep you posted. So you're telling us that people in the audience can ask you questions about their herpes and stuff? Yes. Yes. One of the things I really... If that's what's bothering them, sure. It's what's bothering me right now. I'll tell you that. Hey, let me ask you or mention this. One of the things I really love about Bad Advice is because one may think it's reminiscent of Comics Unleashed. But Comics Unleashed is so scripted. Everything... All Byron Allen does is like throw people their own setups and then they go into their existing material. Whereas Bad Advice is completely unscripted and improvisational. I want to elaborate briefly on something you just said, Sal. You're absolutely correct. It's their own material. It's not even new. It's comedy written for the show. It's literally pre-existing material. The comics are just rehashing it. Yeah, exactly. They get together beforehand. It's like, so, Stephen, I hear you don't like in-laws. Yeah, the setups are so heavy-handed. So I heard you were born in a hospital six weeks late. Yeah. How did you even know that? How would you even know that? Right. That was one of the things I insisted for anyone coming on Bad Advice. I was like, listen, no material. We don't do material. Every once in a blue moon, somebody may throw in a line from their act. But no, they don't know the questions ahead of time. I also take very bizarre news stories. You know, people from around the world that I feel would benefit from advice, but were too stupid to ask. Yeah, again, you're the one who introduced me to the conjoined twins that I mentioned briefly. Yes. And I will say this. Monsters of the Midday, a radio outfit out of Central Florida. They were a big influence on me. I listened to them for several years when I went to college. They did the same thing. They would have comedians on who were appearing at the improv that weekend. And it always bothered me when those comics would come on and burn material. You know, I mean, they just ask them a simple question. In some cases, you could tell they weren't even trying to get them to do it. But the comedian maybe didn't have the confidence to just be himself. Right. Well, yeah, I'll tell you the thing about driving. Whoa, you know, who's Whitney? You know, and one time it even happened where who's, not Carlos Menzi, who's Pablo Francisco. Yes. Came in and he was just himself. Yes. He wouldn't shut up. Wouldn't answer questions. Just doing, you know, his thing. And, you know, when they kind of ridiculed him when he left the studio. But was he doing his material? Yeah. But he clearly, that's clearly not what they wanted. They were trying to ask him regular questions. They were trying to have, you know, a human interview. Just, you know. Right. Just talk and make it real. And I also find it strange because let's say somebody does listen to the interview and they decide to attend the show that evening. You just burn the material. Right. And they're going to hear the material they just heard 12 hours ago. That was funny the first time. 12 hours ago when I first heard it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of stand-up comedy, you have a background in stand-up comedy. Is that correct, Drew? Tell us how you got started doing stand-up. Well, the funny thing is my friend had moved to San Francisco. My best friend from New Jersey. And I went to visit. Like San Francisco, decided to stay. And I was like, okay. Now I'm going to need a job. And, you know, he worked in a restaurant. I got a job in the restaurant, which was a disaster because I had no idea what I was doing. But I realized I had no way to meet women. And I thought. I was like, comedy. You know, that's that whole women, you know, like guys that make them laugh. So I thought that would be a cool way to meet women. Now, of course, when you start out doing stand-up, you're not good, which does not exactly impress the women. You know, they're not. When you get up and like, there was just that like weird silence or the occasional, they're not looking to come and introduce themselves after the show. Now wait, let me just chime in there. I did once do an open mic at the laugh factory about 15 years ago. And after my terrible three minutes set, got a hand job under the table in the laugh factory. So it can happen folks. Did we know each other? I was going to say. Yes, but you are like ridiculously charming and cute. And so yeah, it can happen. Oh, shut up. Sal is very likable. He is. You can't take that from him. I appreciate that you guys, especially today. Yeah. But you're in, I know Sal is on his very update. By the way, happy birthday. Thank you. Thank you very much. It's good to be here. Well, hey, there's a few, a few more things I want to talk about. I want to talk about. I want to talk about. I want to talk about. Now, Drew has a very storied history. Yeah. Originally from New Jersey, he moved to... I didn't know I came with my own theme music. Breaking news. This just in. I don't know what that was. Wait, wait. Are we going to go into the standup clip or are you going to read a few more? Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. Let's do the standup clip and then we'll backtrack. Can we do that, Nick? Can we play a clip of Drew's standup? Something other than the... That was actually, my standup act is very big musical production number. It opens with the same music as Rock. It opens with the same music as Rod Johnson's latest report. It's like an art, very artistic endeavor, Drew's standup. It's like, what do they call it? Performance art. This just in, microwave radiation is affecting our... How we doing over there, Nick? All right, we're ready to go. We're going to play a clip from Drew Marks. Got a question. Do I look like a terrorist? No. I have huge amount of control at the airport and I am unbelievable. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. I'm a terrorist. If I was mad that he searched me. I was mad that he searched me. I was mad that I was a perfectly funny joke and he didn't appreciate it. So then I started explaining to him why we need a racial profile in the airport. You guys got awful quiet. You think that's wrong? See, he said that's wrong. I'm like, a lot of people said, oh, racial profile, that's not right. That's like when we put the Japanese in a tournament against Pearl Harbor. That's the same thing. So I'm not saying that was the right thing to do. All I'm saying is, have you ever noticed how polite Japanese people have been ever since? So eventually I get on the plane. And the plane's sitting on the runway for like half an hour. We're in a movie. Basically, it's happening on the runway. Oh, yeah. That was Drew Marks. Apparently, he brought an illegal bootleg. I have to say, I am a technological idiot. You know, when it comes to like recording things and how to like take the good clips off. Yeah. He bought his own bootleg right here from Olive and Seventh from a Mexican guy out of a briefcase. Yeah. He was like, hey, I just bootlegged a show. You want a copy? Yeah, sure. I didn't. I happen to need that. I don't believe I've ever heard a recording of a show where the audience was mic'd and the performer wasn't. But hey. They were very funny. They were definitely a great crowd. I wish I knew more about the comic, though. So you're saying, Drew, that you became a stand-up comedian to attempt to meet women? I really did. That was the sole motivating factor. And then when I did it, what happened was I went out and I was terrible. And that bothered me. I had never actually tried to do anything in my life and failed at it. And I was like, well, I can't just walk away on a sour note. I'm like, I'm going to have to get good at it. And then I figured I'd just quit. Yeah. I will tell you, Drew, part of the attraction to me, part of why I can't get away from it as many times as I've wanted to. Or as we've wanted you to. Friends and fans alike have asked me to. No, I said, man. I can't. I'm chasing the dragon, man. I understand addiction because if I have a show, it could be the best show I've ever had. If I flub one joke, that joke sticks in my crawl. I've always told, like, you know, over the years, you attend, you know, open micers or new guys ask me. It's like, oh, you know, do you have any advice? Can you help? I was like, well, here's the, let me tell you this. This is the one thing about stand-up. The first time you crush a room. I'm talking about when you kill. Like, you know, some people go, oh, I had a good set. It's like, no. I'm talking about when you crush. The kind of show where they laugh at your setups. Yes. You haven't even got to the punchline. You are a god on stage at that moment. That is both the best and worst thing that can ever happen to you. It is the best because nothing feels as good. No drug, no sex, no nothing will ever feel as good as that moment. And the reason it's terrible is because nothing will ever feel as good as that moment. So, yes, that's when you're chasing the dragon because now once you felt that, you can have a good set. You could have a great set. But in your head, you're going, wasn't quite there. Got to get back to it. You guys are always so nice. I always blame the audience. I go, ah, they were kind of distracted or they were too drunk or they weren't drunk enough. I usually always put it on them. No, you know, it is funny because when you've been doing this long enough, you become better at reading crowds. You know, in some cases, like I just performed not too long with Tom Clark who's a fantastic headliner. He lives in L.A. And I've seen him do this joke a million times. Where he comes out and he says, you know, it's usually in some venue that is tiny and clearly doesn't have a dressing room. But he starts and he says, you know, I was just back there in my dressing room and last time we performed together and I think it was Santa Maria, it just went right over their heads. I've seen him do the joke a dozen times. It always works. So when I see something like that, I go, mental note, this is a thick crowd. Yeah, sometimes it can be the crowd. But the thing is, even if it's the crowd, if you're a comic, I believe you have a certain responsibility. It's like you have to try and make it work. That's your job. Yeah, you do. You do have to adapt, you know, everything from your delivery to the material to the speed at which you work, you know, whether or not you're going to ad lib, you know, which I hate doing. One thing I noticed that you do, Chris, and this sometimes works and sometimes it doesn't work. Like when you have a joke that doesn't work so well and then you say to the booker or whoever, you're like, how am I doing on time? I've noticed some crowds go, ah, they love that. Some crowds just like they just do not get it at all. Yeah, again, that's another. That's another litmus test question, if you will, litmus test. If they don't get that joke. Drew, I usually do this maybe no more than a minute into the show. If the joke bombs, I go. Sure. We all have our little things we do. A little more, I got more time. Look, and sometimes there is nothing you can do. Like in my early days, I was working in San Francisco. I got booked for a weekend, Friday, Saturday. There was a very famous club. It was a gay club. Friday night, I go in. I was a little nervous. I'm like, I don't know how this is going to go. I go in and the place is packed. It's like, you know. And everybody recognizes you and your church is trying to focus on your act. Yeah, but no, the show went great. I mean, just killed because all I did was I do a lot of relationship humor. Instead of saying she, I said they, you know, it all worked. Everything was great. These guys had a great sense of humor. I'm like, can't wait to come back. I go back the second night. Apparently, it's a ladies night. It's me and like 30 militant lesbians, which I guess is redundant in San Francisco, whatever. But hated me. I'm like, I'm going to do it on time. I'm like, I'm going to do it on time. Joke one. So like you, I'm like, okay, I'm going to do it on time. I'm looking. I was probably, I was supposed to do like a 30 minute set. After about eight minutes, the manager is just giving me that like, let's wrap it up sign. I'm like, yeah, we can do that. Now, wait, let me ask you this, Drew. Since you said you got into standup comedy to attempt to meet women. Once you started doing the gay clubs, were you able to get laid then? I'm giving you a stony stare. He's giving me the most evil look. Unfortunately. No. Guy doesn't play well on radio. I was waiting for you to fill in, but no, it ended up, look, it worked great. And no, not in the gay clubs so much, but just regular ones. You know, comics, it's, I don't understand comics that tell, say they go out on the road and don't get laid. How does that even happen? Yeah. Some of these small towns, man. I mean, you, first of all, there's the, the anonymity. Like these women, if they live in a small town, they know that you're the one guy they can sleep with that by the next morning, everybody won't know. Well, that's exactly it. If they, and especially when it comes to like weird, freaky, kinky shit, because they can't do that in their own hometown with people that live there because someone is going to talk. Yeah. I always said, it's like, you know, when I'm on the road, it's like, I'm like Vegas. What happens in Drew stays in Drew. We, uh, you know, we, we say it and I assume audiences assume that we're just making it for the sake of the joke, but no, you will see things that you didn't believe were real. Like you've heard about them in, in stereotypical, you know, in jokes and whatnot. But I mean, I, I did a elk. I think it was Elko. Nevada a couple of years ago, I was in a bar and these people were nice enough. They were nice to me. There was a guy in there. His mother was in the same bar. They were both beaten up because apparently the week before somebody had slapped his mother, naturally he intervened. So the mother had a black eye. He had a black eye. They're back the next week. They're not going to let a black eye slow him down. And did you hook up with the mother? Uh, no, no, no. She was, uh, she looked like, Oh, she had a black eye. Now, just to be perfectly clear. You guys are talking about getting laid on the road. Uh, my girlfriend will never hear this episode ever. Cause I don't want her to think that I'm going to get laid if I hit the road. I, first of all, I'm not honey. I don't get laid here. I don't get laid there. If he doesn't get laid by his girlfriend, he's not going to get, why break a streak? Right. A losing streak. Well, here's a, here's something that may shock our listeners, especially if you know, Drew, cause he's such an easy going, nice guy. Um, Drew. Drew did a rather lengthy stint in the porn industry. Only if you consider six years lengthy. And, and, and what do you consider lengthy when you're talking about porn? I was more of it. I was more in the thick of it as opposed to the length. Tell me how a nice Jewish boy falls into that at 18. Did you, did you forego college to bang? I did both for a while. And then quite frankly, the porn was more lucrative. Okay. Wait. Did you do porn and comedy at the same time? No, no. College. Oh, you did college. Isn't that what you said? Yes, I did. Yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah. I got to listen to my own cohost. I had fun in college, Drew, but a college can't compare to porn star. I'll give you that. How on, how did you even, I mean like, like I, I'm sure a lot of guys think about it from time to time, you know, man, I wish I could, you know, how did you even find out, uh, family connections? And I know that sounds weird, but my, one of my best friends growing up in Jersey, his, his uncle, do you know who Bob Guccione was? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Penthouse. Penthouse magazine at the time, Omni magazine, which was like a science magazine. But, uh, Bob Guccione had twin sisters, Jackie and Jerry. Well, Jackie was my friend's mother. Now, Jerry worked with Bob at Penthouse and Jackie had her own porn magazines. And as they were just sort of starting and expanding, they needed an employee. And I'm like, well, I can work in the office. Yeah. I can work in the office, you know, because I was going to college. I'm like, well, I can work part time. Cause you know, it's in the town where I grew up. It was easy. And it just started growing from there. And then one day we were doing a photo shoot and the model hadn't shown up. I'm like, what are we going to do? Like, we'll give you like, Sorry, is this a true story or the plot for the first porn? No, this is the true story. Okay. And the first, We need someone to replace the guy and have sex with this beautiful woman. No, no. I was like, oh, I know that song. No, there was, this was for a magazine. It was a photo shoot. And they were like, you know, the model didn't show up. It's like, we can't cancel the whole thing. We need somebody. And like, well, we'll give you 500 bucks cash if you'll do it. And I'm like, 500 bucks cash? And this is about 30 years ago. 30 years ago, like 500 bucks. Are you kidding me? You were planning your retirement at that point. Do you have any idea how much pot that could buy? I would start masturbating right now for 500 bucks. And forget about the rate of inflation. And so I did it. And then there were all these kind of comments of like, you know, you could do this for a living. And I'm like, get out of here. You know? And thank God though that this happened, you know, a couple of decades ago, because in this day and age, they'd be like, hey, your anus isn't even waxed. Get out of here, kid. But I just saw it. It was a different time. Amateur. You know, I will say this. Drew is a very handsome man in very good shape, by the way. And in a few years, he's going to be a star. Yeah. And 20 years ago, I was looking at that standup clip, which is essentially we took the sound bite from a video clip. He looked like Ben Affleck. That's what we look like. So basically, we had Ben Affleck boning on film 20 years ago. I'm sure he's thrilled. I do believe the inquirer should be ringing you in a couple minutes, Drew. Yeah. You know, the thing is, when I was 18 and I got into that business, I started, it was fun. I was making good money. And all my good friends that went to college, when they got out, I had a good time. When they got out, I hired them because our company could pay them more. Porn is a very lucrative industry. Now, in the films, it's not like the guys make the kind of money that the women did, but you still, for the amount of work you had to do, good money. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that for men, it ain't the same. No. In fact, if you want to make money as a man, you have to do other men. Even Peter North, who's a legend in porn, started his career doing gay porn. So did Mark Wallace. And yet, I never did. I never did any of that. I'll take your word for it. He's like, let me make myself perfectly clear. Let me go on record here. There's been a couple little gay references. It's like, uh. Hey, my mom struggles to be proud, okay? Let's not give her more to think about. Hey, Nick, can you bring a Bible in here so Drew can swear? Yeah. Ask the unreligious Jewish guy to swear on the Bible. No problem. What do you got? But didn't this also segue into other things? Because didn't you also... Weren't you involved in some of the early 976 numbers? For those young people out there, this was the precursor to the 1-900 numbers. I was. It was 976. They even made that horror movie, 976 Evil. So weren't you involved in some 976 numbers, Drew? I did. I helped start that. I worked for magazines that were... You know the letters like in a penthouse magazine? Like, you know, I don't believe this happened to people until it happened to me. Well, our magazines were digest magazines of those kinds of stories. So what happened was we... I came up with the idea and I worked with these people like since, you know, we would have those letters, like we could make tapes and we had women just reading the stories and people would like send in checks for $7.95 and get a cassette tape of a woman reading the letters. And then from that, they started selling the 976 numbers and you could like buy a 976 number and then people would call up and listen to a recorded message. The 900 numbers never existed. So how did you get out of it? Because I would... I mean, if you did it for six years, right? If you did it for six years, that means you were about 24 years old when you left and that's took a very young, very horny age. What... I was burned out. No. No, I actually... That's how I went to San Francisco to visit my friend and I decided to stay in the company that I worked for, continued to pay me for like six months. I'm like, you're coming back, right? I'm like, I don't think so. We'll just keep paying you because we want you to come back. Please come back. A retainer. Yeah. After six months, I'm like, guys, you're coming back. After six months, I'm like, guys, you gotta stop. I'm not coming back. But something must have happened for you to make... For you to... Rather than wean yourself off of the industry, I mean, for you to just make this kind of cold, hard decision and stick to it despite, you know, clearly it's lucrative, clearly they like you, like doing it. Something must have happened. What are you not telling me? I didn't have the connections. No, I... Seriously, if I had the connections when I moved to California, I probably would have continued. Would you do porn right now if you had an offer? I have thought about it. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And I gotta go with no, because when I started, there wasn't stuff to be scared of. Right. And also, porn was different. Like, you know the really freaky stuff they do in porn now? You mean the normal stuff now? Well, yeah. Like, I don't know. I know on Bad Advice we can say anything. I don't know if we're trying to keep it cleaner on this show. Well, let's just say, keep in mind the name of our show is Registered Ear Offenders for Mature Audiences. Okay. So, we didn't do stuff like ass to mouth, you know? It's like... And we didn't do it because it wasn't... It wasn't unhealthy. Or because it was unhealthy. We did it... You didn't do stuff because it's like, that's just disgusting. I'd go as far as to say most people probably hadn't even conceived of such a thing as a double anal. Right. Back then. I'm sure it existed, but it wasn't... People weren't... People didn't watch a porn movie and go, that sucked. There was none of that. You know, Sal, I actually remember being about 17, and I remember clearly the advent of anal. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a rarity. It was. You'd go to the video store and there might be a section of three to four tapes that, you know, prominently displayed the fact that they did anal on them. And in the space of a year or two or three, I mean, I watched it proliferate. Yeah. You know, and to now to the point where... In fact, Tracy Lords, whose book I read, mentions that where she says, you know, thank God I did porn when I did it because back then anal wasn't, you know, like it is now. When I was a kid, anal was only something sinful from the Old Testament. You know, in the Old Testament it says anal sex. is a sin. So that growing up, that's like, they did it 5,000 years ago in Moses era, but nobody's doing this today. That was, you know, 25 years ago. Or it's something homosexuals did because they had no other options. Yeah, there you go. So, so you had, you had the old Testament, you had homosexuals, that was it. Right. Uh, yeah, you, you do. Uh, so not only do you see crazier stuff, but you see, uh, flagrantly more risky behavior. Uh, and there's more that can happen to you. Uh, you know, it's, it's funny. I, I, uh, That whole John Holmes thing, dying of AIDS changed things for a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. AIDS, uh, AIDS was a real game changer and not in a good sense. Do you think this has to do with our extreme culture here at the risk of getting sociopolitical now? You know, we were, we, at the top of the show, we were talking about the fail blogs. We're talking about kids doing all these extreme stunts. Do you think our, our, our entire culture has just gotten more extreme? We're not just satisfied with regular sex. We need to see the double penetration. We need to see, you know, uh, uh, uh, trannies doing it with 10 guys. We just, as a culture have gotten more extreme with everything. Yes, that's true. But that I think is also true on a greater scale. It's like, you always have to come up with something new. In other words, once something is the routine, how do you differentiate? If you want to make it in a marketplace, you have to, you know, it's like, even if it's Mountain Dew, it's like an extreme drink. It's like, it's, it's just a continuation of that. And there are people out there so extreme that, uh, it's landed them in jail. Like Max Hardcore. Are you familiar with his work? Of course. He is in jail, man. Though really they, they nabbed him on, uh, like some legal technicality. I think he was, uh, shipping stuff overseas, like versions of his films that he wasn't allowed, you know, displaying things that weren't allowed in that particular, you know, state or country or community or whatever. Yeah. Films and they were supposed to be in Europe, but they made their way into the States. Yeah. Um, cause I guess there's some things you can show elsewhere that you can't show here. We had that with the magazines, depending, we had different versions of the exact same issue. Because like in Canada, you couldn't show a penis touching a face. There had to be the, it could be the tiniest sliver of air in between. Whereas like in another place, like the States or something else, it could just be resting on her cheek. I do remember one time I was watching a pornographic film with Bella Donna. I was a huge fan of when she was around. I think Hep C retired her from the business, uh, or at least from performing on camera. Uh, and she said, Hep C, is that a rapper? Yeah. Yeah. She, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, uh, she, she fell in love with Hep C and they, uh, they have to go to town. They live in Sherman Oaks. It is forever. But she, uh, she said to one of the actresses, she said, the, uh, the actress said, uh, you know, I, fisting's the only thing I don't like. I don't do it. And she said, oh, well, that's fine because I can't show fisting anyway. If I did, I'd have to put it on the website and not the video. Right. And I mean, I'd seen her films and I'd seen her do every manner of perversion. So I was shocked to hear that there was this thing she couldn't do. Yeah. Hand puppetry out. And I know, uh, with Max Hardcore, one of the things that got him in trouble is that you're not allowed to even pretend that the girl is a minor. Right. To even insinuate that the girl, uh, or any, anyone. Exactly. And he did the thing with the pigtails and. Right. And aside from the fact that he would clearly strive to, to depict that imagery, he actually said in some video, he said something about like, you know, your, your teenage or something, something implying that she was a younger than 18 girl. And I know he had to go to court and fight for just for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I finally got, when they have you in their crosshairs, they're going to get you. Let me ask you this, Drew, since this is a new show, since we're talking about our culture of extremities, and since you are the host of Bad Advice, what advice would you give to Chris and I for registered ear offenders and our own future of our show? I like what you're doing. I think you just keep it personal, which makes it different. You know, there's, everyone's always striving to get the punchlines out, which is all too often in comedy. I'd say just. You're doing a good service. So you're saying. People to the personalities and, you know, of the people you're working with. So what I'm hearing. There's a lot more to the stories. Keep being unfunny is what he's saying. No. I have. Funny. The funny happens on its own. I have two goals with this show. And I think Sal and I are of like minds. One, play to the height of our intelligence. Two, make a personal connection with our listenership. I do hope that they'll stick with us for a while and eventually get to feel like they know us. Like they know what we would think, how would we react. Right. In this situation. And obviously the danger there is once they get to know you, will they actually like you? Not if they're like everybody else in my life. Right. But let me, let me do this because we're running short on time. Sal, how much time do you need for your rant? Well, it's a very special rant. It's not so much of a rant as much as a shared today because of my birthday. But let me ask you this. Do we have a sponsor for my rant? Because last week we had a sponsor and we have a sponsor this week for my rant as well. Is that correct? Yes. The good people at American Post and Parcel in Studio City, California. I use their services, nice little corner store. You don't have to go, you know, a trek all the way down to Studio City post office, wait in line, inadequate parking. These guys are located right next to a 7-Eleven. You know, I go there, I do my business every day. Dry cleaners, very, very community oriented, very friendly people. You're going to see the same faces every day. They're going to know you by name. It's like the cheers of postal stores, you know? Yeah. So I've done business with them for about eight years and they were kind enough to sponsor us, sponsor your rant. And what's their name again? American Post and Parcel. They're located at 11333 Moorpark Street in Studio City, California. All right. Well, thank you very much. That does lead me into Sal's weekly rant. Now, normally I come off pissed off about something, but today's different guys. And you guys are welcome to chime in after I give out a few things here. And that is today is my birthday, August 17th. I am a Leo for those listening. And I have an Aries moon and a Pisces rising for you astrologers out there. Today, I also share a birthday with Robert De Niro. I'm a Leo for those listening. And I have an Aries moon and a Pisces rising for Shane. Shane I would have friends calling me and wanting to invite me to dinner and drinks. And yet I just chose to curl up in a fetal position. For what reason, I do not know. But one tradition has always maintained true. And that is Denny's. You know, Denny's will give you a free meal on your birthday. All you need to do is show identification, prove it's your birthday, and you'll get a free Grand Slam breakfast. I also used to have a tradition of having sex on my birthday. I would intentionally seek out sex every August 17th. So it would be an annual event. But also birthday resolutions is something I believe in. I don't do the New Year's resolutions because it's so, you know, New Year's for everybody. Birthdays are so personal. So I would have birthday resolutions where today's the day that I make changes in my personal life. So last night, I just had an enjoyable evening. My girlfriend was off working, and I sent out a few packages. No, no, no. Let me clarify. I like that the sex still happened. He was alone. I was alone. But. It sounds like a very enjoyable evening. Your girlfriend was off working, and she came back, and she actually had sex with you. So, yeah, it's a win, win, win. By the time my girlfriend showed up, I was passed out already. But I'll tell you this. I put on some, I really have been enjoying lately dance hall reggae. That's the fast reggae. So I put on some reggae. I'm on Facebook. I'm sending out packages because I have an eBay business, Salvador, Los Angeles. Check it out. So I'm selling my collectibles. I'm shipping them out. And I was just having some vodka and some lemonade, having a great time. And I said, you know what? This birthday, I'm not going to wait for someone else to celebrate. I'm not going to wait for necessarily Facebook messages. I'm not going to wait for text messages. You know what? I celebrate me today. I celebrate my life. I celebrate living. I celebrate health. I celebrate my friends. I celebrate my new friends. I celebrate my old friends, high school friends, people like Nick out there helping us being here. I am in so much gratitude today celebrating life, being healthy, celebrating my friends, this show, Registered Ear Offenders. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so excited to be alive and here today. Sal and I are extremely lucky to have literally stumbled into this operation here. Again, big shout out to Drew Marks for enabling us to do that. But, you know, we're at a station that has increased its listenership by, what, a third from one month to the next? Skid Row Studios. Yes. Skid Row Studios is growing big time. We're exploding. And we're on the ground floor. So I hope to be here for many, many years to come. So in closing, Sal's weekly rant was a little different today because I am on a high today. I wanted to be positive today and I am positive today. So thank you for everybody listening. Thank you for tuning in. Thanks for liking us on Facebook. I appreciate you. Chris appreciates you. Thanks for listening to us on Bad Advice. Thank you, Drew, for being here today. I am so grateful today. It's ridiculous. Thank you. I will tell you briefly, Sal, you mentioned your eBay business. You don't by chance engage in selling prison uniforms, partially used cosmetics, eyeglasses, or magic items, do you? No. Why? Are those illegal? Apparently so. There's a story on Yahoo News about that. You can't sell magic items? Why can't you sell magic items? And I imagine that means you can't sell the Bible or anything religious as well. Crosses. I almost forgot, Sal. We got to plug next week's show. I want to... You go ahead and tell us what's going on next week. Another familiar name and face here on the Skid Row Studios network, Gus. Kenneth Gus August, who hosts the weekly wrap-up. Every Sunday from... Four to five. Four to five p.m. And he does an entirely different thing than what we do than what Drew does. Wraps up the week's events, discusses them. Gus is an incredibly astute individual. I mean, there's no subject he doesn't have a cogent opinion on. He's also a successful screenwriter and a very entertaining fellow. Another guy who was kind enough to have me on his show before we got our own show. And he's how I got my start. Really? I didn't know that. I didn't know that. It was... Tell us that. Tell us how you got your start through Ken. And then give us a plug if you're going to be performing anywhere, stand-up as well. I always have just known him as Gus. His name's Kenneth August. Yes, he goes by Gus. But Gus was doing his weekly wrap-up show. And he asked me to come in as a guest. I did that two weeks. And now I'm pretty regular on the show. And, you know, bad advice since we were working on the pilot for TV. I discussed with the owner of Skid Row Studios. I was like, look, I got this show. We'd love to put it on the air. He said, sounds good. Sounds great. Why don't we try a pilot? Did it. Pilot episode went great. Very funny. Everyone had a good time. Been doing it ever since. And as far as a plug, I will be at the Pechanga Resort and Casino. Wow, that's a gig that has eluded me for years. I can't wait. It's going to be a huge thing. Second week in November. What is it? 8th, 9th, 10th, I think? I heard it say that's a fantastic show. It's an awesome show. It's going to be sold out. I'm working with Daryl Lennox, who's one of the funniest people in the country. Absolutely, absolutely. And Chris, where are you and I? We're going to be next Wednesday, August 27th at 7.30 p.m. Chris and I will be performing at Haritna Mediterranean Restaurant 7303 El Cajon Boulevard at 73rd Street in La Mesa. Is that in San Diego? That's South San Diego, California. Check out brouhahaentertainment.com. That's brouhahaentertainment.com for additional information. And if you live in the Los Angeles area, I will be performing at the Neon Venus Theater tonight in Los Angeles at 9 p.m. That's the Neon Venus Theater. Thanks so much for joining us, guys. Catch us next week. Peace. Thank you. So much to worry about I am stepping up And never coming down I'm feeling so high Hypnotized all night Looking at you Cause you're so fine Hypnotized all night I'm looking for you I need a girl I don't mind all night No, I don't do